Four Million Years Later

Our second WATCHALONG is not from G1 TRANSFORMERS, but from BEAST WARS TRANSFORMERS! It is season two's three part season ender, the apex of that series. Why not start at the first episode? THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT! If you haven't watched BEAST WARS, you NEED to. It's only 52 episodes, and some of the best Transformerness EVER PRODUCED. So watch it all on your own time!

Our first WATCHALONG is not from TRANSFORMERS at all! It is 1987's G.I.JOE THE MOVIE, the epitome of Sunbow's run on G.I.JOE. Why start at the END? BECAUSE WE LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH! Other watchalongs will follow at random intervals, and YES, we will return to TRANSFORMERS for some of them... possibly even next time. Stay tuned!!

We've arrived at the LAST episode (for awhile)! Here we just talk about how it slowly came together and how it almost didn't happen, and what Jerzy and I were doing in relation to TFs from Rebirth to essentially today. It's THE SECRET ORIGIN OF FOUR MILLION YEARS LATER!

And it comes with pictures from College Hoover's TF strips and fanfics from the late 1990s!!

Transformers Generation 3, Page 1:

It's the PENULTIMATE episode... kinda! For awhile at least. In its current form. This time we read feedback from loyal listeners, like yourself perhaps! And next time we wrap things up!

This time we take time out to discuss all the new DECEPTICONS from the REBIRTH miniseries... and amazingly, JERZY has more to say about them than the AUTOBOTS! HOOVER only had like three of these guys! And JERZY even less! But there's a certain mystical bat that really intrigues him NOW!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO OUR U.S. LISTENERS (those who listen when it's new)!!!

This time we take time out to discuss all the new AUTOBOTS from the REBIRTH miniseries... believe it or not, we still had things to say about these characters we barely spent any time with! How did HOOVER have so many of them? How did JERZY survive not getting the first SPIKE figure?? And how did either of them live without owning any MONSTERBOTS? (Spoiler: Easily.)

THIS IS IT! IT'S ALL BEEN BUILDING TO THIS!! HOW WILL IT ALL END?? WILL HASBRO FORCE DAVID WISE TO INTRODUCE 14 MORE CHARACTERS BEFORE WRAPPING IT UP?? WILL HOOVER GET THROUGH THE EPISODE WITHOUT MENTIONING ROCK LORDS?? WILL JERZY REVEAL THAT HE MADE CARDBOARD TRANSFORMERS IN 8TH GRADE INSTEAD OF KISSING GIRLS?? (SPOILER: HE DOES!) OH YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T MISS THIS ONE!!!

After all those new characters last time, we're gonna take it easy this episode, RIGHT? WRONG!! Here's 11 more NEBULANS known as THE HIVE!! Now that THE AUTOBOTS have little green buddies, THE DECEPTICONS aren't gonna be left out!!

ONLY ONE MORE EPISODE LEFT OF THE SERIES!!! (But don't worry, the podcast will have episodes until the end of 2022)

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A 20 MINUTE TOY COMMERCIAL THAT INTRODUCES 37 NEW CHARACTERS BUT ALSO FEATURES 35 PRE-EXISTING ONES!! That's right, this episode has 72 characters!!! What more is there to say???

ONLY TWO EPISODES LEFT OF THE SERIES!!!

This time we take time out to discuss all the new DECEPTICONS from the movie and Season Three... resulting in our second-longest episode EVER! We're talking JUST OVER TWO HOURS of pure DECEPTICON (and QUINTESSON) discussion... 

This time we take time out to discuss all the new AUTOBOTS from the movie and Season Three... resulting in our longest episode EVER! We're talking OVER TWO HOURS of pure AUTOBOT discussion... kinda makes me sick just thinking about it! But don't worry, the DECEPTICONS will be featured NEXT EPISODE!

I wonder what happens in THIS episode? Well, HASBRO tries to win parents back after forcing the death of a loved one on their children months ago! How does it go? Well, we got some good, we got some bad. And we got a HATE PLAGUE turning everyone red and mean-spirited. What do we do when we need a hero? Does a lower ranked AUTOBOT rise from the ranks and prove themselves, saving the day? NO, WE'RE NOT HERE TO BUILD CHARACTER, WE'RE HERE TO BRING BACK THE DEAD. So a QUINTESSON is forced at SKY LYNX-point to resurrect OPTIMUS PRIME! And he'll never die again, kids! (Offer not good in Japan, sorry) All this, and JERZY and HOOVER'S opposite reactions to their discovery of TRANSFORMERS GENERATION 2!

ONLY FOUR EPISODES LEFT OF THE SERIES!!!

RODIMUS PRIME is feeling a bit overwhelmed with too many complaints he can't begin to deal with. So he shirks all his responsibilities and runs into some STUNTICONS who run him off the side of a cliff! But he loses the MATRIX in the crash, and the STUNTICONS take it to GALVATRON! Free of responsibilities, HOT ROD awakes to a world he's no longer responsible for... that is, until he realizes the responsibility owns him as much as he owns it. Plus GALVATRON gets a very metal new headquarters that we only ever see once! And JERZY tells a tale of crying at the grocery store because of this episode!!

It's time to go to another world... one the QUINTESSONS thought they had safely locked away, until GALVATRON managed to find it hidden behind a giant disc in space. We meet the ZIMOJINS, whose development has been stunted ever since the QUINTESSONS turned off the stars in their corner of the galaxy! Yeah, it's a big high-minded science fiction story airing in place of our beloved robot fights. But we do get to see PERCEPTOR as a GEISHA! Wait, HUH???

What if all the animal TRANSFORMERS ran off in the middle of a battle and didn't tell anyone where they were going? Well, it would look a lot like this! A mysterious voice calls out to "The Primitives," luring them all away, but to their commanders' chagrin. Luckily, SKY LYNX is there to use his nigh-omnipotence to lead them all on a journey to... their home?? And that's just the tip of the iceberg... because they have to contend with UNICRON'S LITTLE BROTHER, who has already sucked the life out of CYBERTRON! I'm not even making this up. Our analysis also contains one of HOOVER'S better theories on two brand new TRANSFORMERS, JOHNNY and TERRANCE!!! WAIT, WHAT??

Alright, we got introduced to the TECHNOBOTS and TERRORCONS last episode, but not for long! So now we get to spend another full episode with them to get to know them a bit better. But we have to put up with HUMANS too, and get this, THE HUMANS KISS TOO. What show am I watching? Learn about young fifth grade HOOVER sitting there, arms crossed, with a boo boo face on, having to endure these yucky flesh creatures when he's got new TRANSFORMERS to learn about. And JERZY schools us on the details of the first release of petless STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE dolls and his many GREEDO figures! All this and LISTENER MAIL!!!!

Dumb ol' loveable GRIMLOCK... what would the show be like without HIM? Well, what if he WASN'T dumb, and was actually the smartest of the AUTOBOTS?? What happens then? This episode happens then. So strap in! Not to mention, they shake out a DOZEN new characters at us; no foolin'! All this, and JERZY lets loose on RADIO SHACK commercials!!!

Hey kids, are you ready for the neverending battle of AUTOBOTS vs DECEPTICONS?? Well... put a pin in that, because this week we're going to concentrate on the AUTOBOTS vs NEW YORK CITY GANGSTERS! No, don't change the channel!! Fans of G.I.JOE will want to stick around for this one, because it may contain a sssssssertain character familiar to them. Whoops, I meant CERTAIN character. Ahem. Oh yeah, and the AUTOBOTS get put into human bodies too. WAIT, WHAT? Oh don't worry, they don't think it's a big deal. But what WAS a big deal to young JERZY and HOOVER was the END of this episode, which rocketed them both off the couch!! All this, plus why VEHICLE VOLTRON is BEST!

Those pesky QUINTESSONS are at it again!! This time they're tricking the DECEPTICONS to go deep into the bowels of CYBERTRON to unleash some foul beasts that pre-date all the TRANSFORMERS, called the TRANSORGANICS! Will both AUTOBOT and DECEPTICON alike be able to defeat them?? All this, and young Jerzy versus the Basement! And a great potential story idea for the four million year gap!

Hey, remember last time when THE QUINTESSONS kept losing their journal like it was a bar of soap they just couldn't keep a hold of? Well here it is AGAIN, and they're still just leaving it sitting around for anyone to grab. But if that's not riveting enough, we get a backdrop of two alien races at a peace conference who both want the exact opposite of peace. Just the kind of cartoon a ten year old wants to watch, huh? On top of everything, it's animated by AKOM. Whooooooo boy. You don't have to go back and watch the episode, but at least listen to us because you know we always get creative with the bummer episodes!!

It's a normal day on the planet of JUNK as THE JUNKIONS watch tv! But when THE QUINTESSONS inject subliminal messages into their beloved television, it's all out war in the galaxy! All this and the final appearance of OMEGA SUPREME!

FIRST AID quits the AUTOBOTS! GALVATRON has an Ultimate Weapon! OCTANE and BLITZWING are on the DECEPTICONS again! All this, PLUS we're on vacation in the NETHERLANDS to deal with rampant striped shirt wearer on gardener crime?? I guess?? In ANY case, it's ANIMATED BEAUTIFULLY!

Hoooo-boy... strap in, 'cause this one is something else. It's the AKOMIEST of them all, with more animation errors than you've ever seen! But we TRY to remain positive... we TRY... 

It seems GALVATRON finally got a plan together, but it got sidetracked by some weird aliens on a nearby planet, whose voices can unleash destructive power. This of course gives GALVATRON a new goal and thankfully he's already reconnecting with his old pal SOUNDWAVE who can record and replicate the sound. So it's up to the AUTOBOTS to put things straight and get harmony out of these singsongy aliens! 

Thankfully we get some more characterization out of BROADSIDE, the AUTOBOT triple changer, who turns out to be pretty cool! But other than an interesting sci-fi concept, there's... not a LOT of good here. But give it a watch just 'cause it's so bad it's good.... almost!

Hey kids, it's ZOMBIE OPTIMUS! ...is... is this a good idea? JERZY and HOOVER debate that while stating the pros and cons of the episode. And speaking of old toys no longer for sale, we're treated to commercials for toys no longer on the market in 1986! And is this finally the birth of the RODIMUS PRIME that JERZY loves??

Just two episodes after our last longest episode is OUR NEW LONGEST EPISODE! What happens when an actual comic writer and Star Trek novel author bring their credentials to TRANSFORMERS? A darn good episode happens, that's what! The AUTOBOTS pop in for a two minute cameo, with the QUINTESSONS showing up for under 60 seconds, allowing the DECEPTICONS to spend the rest of the time in a character building episode! And it's HOOVER'S favorite of season three! In this episode, we meet some space monkeys who are tasked with the unenviable task of REPAIRING GALVATRON'S MIND! And it does NOT go well for anyone but the VIEWER!

The STARSCREAM fun continues! SCREAMER'S done just playing around, this time he's on a mission to get his old body back! And for that, he needs to BRING UNICRON BACK TO LIFE! With SCOURGE as his unwilling helper, STARSCREAM manages to get some long-awaited revenge on the DECEPTICONS leaving the AUTOBOTS scratching their heads about what's going on! And JERZY scratches HIS HEAD about RADIO SHACK commercials!

Wow, I wonder what happens this episode? With the most ON THE NOSE name of all 98 G1 episodes, this episode is a fantastic reminder that Season 3 can still provide great entertainment. It's great in all ways but one... thanks, AKOM, for the tolerable animation. By the way, this is our longest episode yet!

THE AUTOBOTS sure are glad TRYPTICON is permanently out of commission. What a shame it would be if it turned out he was STILL ALIVE! Oh wait! He is! And crafty old TELETRAAN-TWO didn't care to spill the secret! Meanwhile, crafty DECEPTICON OCTANE has decided to take TRYPTICON on a trip for personal gain, taking us to... groan... CARBOMYA. But we never have to see ABDUL FAKKADI again after this episode, so... yay? All this, and we finally figure out what GALVATRON seems like, portrayal-wise.

Here we are introduced to another planet where former CYBERTRONIANS have begun a new life... except now CYCLONUS and SCOURGE have found it and are going to RUIN IT! We're introduced to a heroic new triple changer SANDSTORM, and we learn of SOUNDWAVE'S secret career as an impressionist!

Plus, JERZY has a serious bone to pick with RODIMUS this episode... 

We wrap up THE DANIEL TRILOGY with a definite improvement over last time. It seems THE QUINTESSONS have somehow made a machine to bring DANIEL's nightmares to life against both AUTOBOTS and DECEPTICONS. How did they do it? Well, we have no idea. But they did. And it's up to RODIMUS, SPRINGER, and ULTRA MAGNUS to team up with THE PREDACONS and get to the bottom of it. Have we finally gotten the TRAPPED IN A CAVE episode Hoover has wanted for so long? All this and monsters, monsters everywhere, including the commercials, which includes the BIGGEST MONSTER OF ALL, the man who tried to convince us that ROCK LORDS were great.

SADLY NO DECEPTICONS APPEAR IN THIS EPISODE. And HOOVER reviews it accordingly! JERZY has less of a problem with it, but HOOVER is not here for this DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS tale masquerading as a TRANSFORMERS story. DANIEL and GRIMLOCK are whisked away to another dimension and blah blah blah wizards blah blah GOLDEN ONE blah blah blah. But don't worry, HOOVER still finds a way to bash the ROCK LORDS.

After receiving a surprise party for his birthday, DANIEL decides to throw a surprise party on ULTRA MAGNUS'S birthday! But when is that?? So DANIEL and WHEELIE head off to a storage asteroid (not an ice cream factory) to find out when ULTRA MAGNUS was born, and manage to run afoul of THE DECEPTICONS along the way! All this, and some dolls surprise us with growing hair.

Uh oh, more timey-wimey stuff! The QUINTESSONS are tired of not being the landlords of CYBERTRON anymore, so they've built a time machine so they can alter the past. An ancient AUTOBOT named A3 has been yanked to the present while BLURR, BLASTER, REWIND, RAMHORN, WRECK-GAR are yanked to the past! And not just the past, but the aaaaaaancient past! All this, and HOOVER'S vendetta against the ROCK LORDS continues!

KUP's been carrying around some guilt for 100,000 years (literally)! What happened on the planet of DREAD that has him so troubled? Why is the famed storyteller so silent about this part of his past? The truth is revealed in this episode, and not just KUP but also JERZY faces his fears... including the scariest Christmas ever conceived. All this and the debut of one of Hoover's favorite season three DECEPTICONS.

Well, it's not TRAPPED IN A CAVE, but it's TRAPPED ON A SHIP! A QUINTESSON scientist thinks it's a grand idea to capture an AUTOBOT, DECEPTICON, JUNKION, and human to play some mind games with! But things get crazy rather quickly as outer space decides to shake up these crazy experiments, resulting in... CYCLONUS saving the life of ULTRA MAGNUS?? HUH? All this and more IRE from HOOVER, AIMED AT THE ROCK LORDS! But not HALF the IRE aimed towards MATTEL'S GUTS figures!!

We wrap up the TRANSFORMERS' first and ONLY 5 part miniseries right here! The QUINTESSONS have convinced the DECEPTICONS to wage war on the AUTOBOTS and their home of CYBERTRON! But secretly the QUINTESSONS chuckle to themselves as they plan to turn on the DECEPTICONS as soon as the AUTOBOTS are out of the way! And only BLITZWING can save the day! WAIT, WHAT??

All this and the final destruction of THE ARK and the AUTOBOTS' VOLCANO HEADQUARTERS!

Business is picking up! GALVATRON finds out where all his DECEPTICONS went, and he doesn't like the answer! The QUINTESSONS make stuff up so GALVATRON doesn't kill them! The JUNKIONS come save the day on GOO, and RODIMUS PRIME goes on a spirit quest to finally get some facts about who these new 5 faced bozos are! And JERZY recalls HOOVER pulling a similar thing during a winter visit!

We're at the middle chapter of the series' only 5-parter, and things are heating up all over the galaxy! The AUTOBOTS find themselves in a STICKY SITUATION on the planet GOO! The DECEPTICONS get made an offer they can't refuse! And WHEELIE SHOOTS A DECEPTICON IN THE FACE?! All this, and some of the most inaccurate coloring ever seen in a TRANSFORMERS episode!

Season 3 continues as we learn more about these mysterious QUINTESSONS! They have a real beef against the AUTOBOTS, it seems! Meanwhile CYCLONUS and THE SWEEPS locate and rescue (or harass, depending on who you ask) GALVATRON in order to put him back in charge of the DECEPTICONS! All this and SPIKE threatens to turn a QUINTESSON into BLOOEY JUICE!

Here we are BACK to the regular series, starting off SEASON 3! We see a lot of movie threads continue into the series, and the return of new friends like WHEELIE, ARCEE, KUP, and BLURR, as well as the return of a character we haven't seen in many episodes! And we see the sorry state of the DECEPTICON EMPIRE! And possibly the last speaking role of RUMBLE maybe?? Season 3 is THIRTY episodes long, so strap in and get comfy!

It's the exciting conclusion of TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE! It's time to move along to the final act, where WHEELIE takes charge and assumes command of the AUTOBOTS! Okay, that might not be what happens, but it's still all very exciting. But I wouldn't want to spoil it before you listen. So LISTEN!

PLEASE NOTE: The podcast is now EVERY OTHER WEEK due to various very annoying things far out of our control. I wish it didn't have to be, but alas, it does.

Here we are at part 3 of our four part movie coverage! It's a lot of AUTOBOT coverage as we follow KUP, HOT ROD, and the DINOBOTS on QUINTESSA and the others on the planet of JUNK! There's a liiiiiiittle DECEPTICONS sprinkled in for good measure. All this and we meet a new rhymey boi armed with a slingshot. This portion covers the movie from 44:21-1:03:55.

PLEASE NOTE: The podcast is now EVERY OTHER WEEK due to various very annoying things far out of our control. I wish it didn't have to be, but alas, it does.

Here we are at the SECOND part of TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE and things are about to get AWESOME and TERRIBLE all at once... you're allowed to cry during this one. This part contains not only the greatest fight in Transformers history, but the shocking rebirth of MEGATRON into GALVATRON, and his first act when he gets back to CYBERTRON.

This part covers the Shout Factory Blu-ray's chapters 4-6, or 19:25 - 44:21 of the running time.

PLEASE NOTE: The podcast is now EVERY OTHER WEEK due to various very annoying things far out of our control. I wish it didn't have to be, but alas, it does.

Here we are, at long last at TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE! This will be covered in four parts! This first episode covers the first 19 or so minutes, or the first 3 chapters of the Shout Factory Blu-ray. In this episode Jerzy and Hoover mainly lament how they'd rather be watching B.O.T. and AERIAL ASSAULT again. JUST KIDDING! It's the MOVIE, obviously, it's the BEST EVAAARRR!!!!!

PLEASE NOTE: The podcast is now EVERY OTHER WEEK due to various very annoying things far out of our control. I wish it didn't have to be, but alas, it does.

UNCLE!!! Due to life being extremely annoying and difficult, after part one of the movie goes up May 27th, we will be switching to coming out every TWO weeks instead of every week. Hoover would certainly rather blow through those Autobot-filled Season Three episodes, however life is doing its best to crush his little head like Hot Rod's tires did to Kickback.

Frankly it's amazing that we've done 78 episodes (a year and a half!) never missing a week, but we are putting on the brakes before all the tires blow out. So look for us in the same place on the same day at the same time, just every OTHER week now.

We'd like to use this time to rally the troops, so PLEASE rate and review us and tell people about us whom you think would appreciate such a podcast. Since we'll be coming out less often, it will be longer until we reach the end of the series, so it would be nice to have more and more listeners in the fold. And ONLY YOU can help make this happen! Please help us find other fans who enjoy this kind of discussion and overthinking, so IDW lets us write a SEASON 2.5 series (ha ha ha).

Thanks for listening and caring about the show. It means a lot.

It's time for another discussion, to reflect on both the STUNTICONS and COMBATICONS, before we move on to THE MOVIE! These two teams didn't get much screen time, but they actually stole both of our hearts! Yes, even AUTOBOT LOVING JERZY!

It's time for another discussion, to reflect on both the AERIALBOTS and PROTECTOBOTS, before we move on to new stories. As one can imagine, JERZY has much more to say than HOOVER this episode, so JERZY ENTHUSIASTS, enjoy! Expect a much strong HOOVER presence next week when we discuss the DECEPTICON COMBINERS from the second season!

Hooooo boy, are you ready to listen to Jerzy slowly lose his mind? Then you've come to the right place. Hoover finds solace in the Swindle story and tries to ignore all the rest, except the three voice artists chosen for the high school kids! We're not exactly ending season 2 with a bang, but it's ending whether we like it or not. 

It's time for the ROBOTS IN DISGUISE to disguise themselves EVEN MORE! By using plot magic, I mean, CAMOUFLAGE PAINT, the AUTOBOTS disguise themselves as the STUNTICONS in order to get the drop on MEGATRON'S latest plan. It's full of clown time, but at least we get to spend some time with DEAD END and BREAKDOWN and get a better handle on these characters. ONLY ONE EPISODE LEFT IN SEASON TWO!!

Apologies for Hoover's audio side being a bit rough in this one. We couldn't determine why that happened.