A2D - From Addict to Disciple

In today's walkabout episode we Mark Twain's quote "History never repeats itself, but it does often rhyme." Have you been blindsided in the past when you were vigilant in avoiding your triggers, but didn't see the patterns that were the rhymes? Often the patterns are hard to identify because they feel familiar but they are packaged differently. I invite you to walk with me, to journey together, as I go on a walkabout to see how history rhymes.

This episode is in response to a Listener's feedback from episode #152. They shared their struggle to take their negative thoughts captive as they've been stuck in a dark place for two decades. In today's episode I take a new approach on things, I'm calling in a walkabout. You know how it feels good to just go for a walk to sort out our thoughts? So there will be no five step plan on how to get out of a dark place. Just thoughts as I meander on my walkabout with this topic. I hope you like it.

Do you find yourself seeking approval, affirmation or validation from others everyday? Is that how you define your self worth? Simply seeing yourself as others see you, or based on what they think or say about you? Well it's time to admit your approval addiction and seek to change. Approval and affirmation should not be your seratonin rush to regulate your emotions. Look inside to find happiness, purpose and meaning, then find the strength to pursue it.

Peter McWilliams said "For many, negative thinking is a habit which, over time, becomes an addiction." So how do we learn to take our thoughts captive? How do we get out of the addiction to thoughts which crippled, paralyzed, derailed or disabled us for so many years? In this episode we outline a plan which was published by Richard L. Ganz in crosswalk.com entitled "6 Ways to Take Thoughts Captive." It's time for you to gain control over what you think about yourself and your life! It's time to change your reality by changing your mind!

Are you feeling weary or dissatisfied with where you're at in life? Does boredom end up fueling your isolation, being a loner, turning to drugs, alcohol or porn for some ecstacy in life? Do you find it difficult to control your anger because you are always frustrated with situations, circumstances or relationships in your life? Well if any of this describes you or someone you know, this episode is for you!

It only takes one to know that you are loved. Too many guys in recovery stay focused on the love they lost. They feel that the only way to be whole again is to restore that broken relationship. As a result they don't see the love that is right next to them in their new friend, coach, mentor. These are people who know the real you and always have your back.

Today's group episode looks at three more signs they would place at the entrance of a recovery house to plant seeds in new inductees into the program. The quotes are about: 1) it's not easy but it's worth it, 2) recovery must come first and 3) why would anyone want to return to the hell of addiction? I'm sure all of my listeners will be encouraged by the words of my friend on recovery from Australia, South Africa and the United States.

In this group session, our guys in recovery chose one of three quotes that they would put up as signs on the wall if they opened a new sober living house. Here's what the quotes are about: 1) it's okay to go slow, 2) learn to love yourself and 3) recovery opened the gates of hell and let me out. I hope you enjoy their ideas.

Do you remember when Mom would kiss your boo boo and make the pain go away? Why did that work? How did you handle pain when you were too old to get your boo boos kissed? How did you feel when Mom no longer provided the comfort you needed? Could this be a seed that fueled your search to self medicate to numb your pain? Maybe you learned that no one cared anymore so you just began to repress your poison and emotions. If this is you, now is the time to tell someone how you feel!

When you drive a car are you focused on the rest view mirror or do you look in front of you through the windshield? Obviously we all look in front and only glance back! So why do we tend to keep looking in the rear view mirror of our life? Why do we focus on our past mistakes to the point that we limit our ability to move forward? This episode reminds us to start a lifestyle of letting go just as the trees let go of their leaves every year.

Pink Cloud Syndrome is the sense of euphoria that many recovering addicts experience early in recovery. It typically includes a feeling of overconfidence and is referred to as the "honeymoon phase." In today's episode we look at the characteristics of the Pink Cloud Syndrome and how they can negatively affect our walk if we begin seeing the world through rose colored glasses and all of the clouds look pink!

What obstacles do you have in your life or recovery? How are they keeping you from reaching your goals? How can you learn to view these obstacles like hurdles to jump over or puzzles to solve? In this episode we look at those questions and see that obstacles are normal in life. Even if they seem unfair, we have choices on how we handle them. Remember, break through your obstacles before they break you!

They say the things we escape start pursuing us and this pursuit can become relentless! So we need to begin to push back so our pursuer gives up. In today's episode our group of guys in recovery discuss the thing that pursued them the most and how they pushed it away.

Today's episode is a group session with our guys in recovery. The question they respond to is "Think about the following quote and tell me what you would say to someone caught in this cycle." Here's the anonymous quote "When you can stop, you don't want to. And when you want to stop, you can't. That's addiction."

Were you raised by a Critical Parent? Today's episode looks at signs of the wounds of childhood criticism that we carry into our adult life. We look at how these wounds have affected our self image, our relationships and our socialization. I utilize the 16 signs as outlined by Dr. Seth J. Gillihan from this article on Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/202212/16-signs-you-were-raised-highly-critical-parent#amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16706755119482&csi=0&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.psychologytoday.com%2Fus%2Fblog%2Fthink-act-be%2F202212%2F16-signs-you-were-raised-highly-critical-parent

In this group session episode of guys in recovery share their thoughts on being tempted by the idea of something to take the edge off their feelings of guilt. The truth is we can either get bitter or better! Do you have a support community to turn to when you feel guilty? Do you have repressed guilt because you've never found the person to talk to who made you feel safe enough to share? If this is you, please reach out and contact me.

This is another group session and one member of our group brought the topic for discussion. Charlie suggests that social media can be a place that fuels the emotions that cause people to hurt and want to numb. Listen as the guys in our group discuss whether or not social media can lead to relapse and if it is the new drug, the new mind altering experience!

In this episode we look at what it means to be a peacemaker. Then we discuss how to be a peacemaker with ourselves. With our past, with our present and with our future. What fears are you still holding onto that keep you from being a peacemaker? Also nite the new Q&A option on Spotify to send your feedback.

This episode is another group session. Our guys in recovery give their responses to the statement "Addiction is the only prison where the locks are on the inside!" They focus on finding the keys to open the door to recovery, healing, faith and hope. Can you see as they did that the longer you keep secrets hidden inside, the longer you stay in isolation, you are basically trapping yourself in a self made darkness ? I believe you will be inspired to find the keys to hope and submission so you can release yourself from your inner prison and begin walking free.

Today's episode is a group session where it guys in recovery respond to the statement "You never recover until you know what you're recovering from!" The guys share their ideas around admitting you have a problem, seeking help, the triggers of the ghosts from our past, having the right tools for a sustainable recovery and finding the deeper root causes of your addiction.

That's the question! Did you dance today? Using quotes from Friedrich Nietzsche we view four reasons why we should be dancing in recovery, in our situation or circumstances. Whether or not people think we are crazy or insane for dancing, it's important to dance everyday. As Nietzsche said "We should consider everyday lost in which we have not dance at least once!"

If I chose a subtitle for this episode it would be Stayin' Alive. Today we look at recognizing the death and destruction of addiction and choosing life. Then we build a plan for removing those things from our past which would impede our new life and to work closely with a coach, mentor, sponsor to see clearly those things we need as a foundation as we rebuild and seek to restore our original plan and purpose in our life.

Today's episode is about rage. You know when we look like a snapping turtle out of water ready to attack anyone who comes near us or gets in our way. Using the LIFEMORTS mnemonic by R. Douglas Fields, an American senior researcher at the National Institutes of Health, we look at the nine triggers to rage which may have people always telling us "you need to take an anger management course bro!" Listen and see how your stressors in life may be the hair trigger of your snapping turtle!

This episode is another group meeting with our guys in recovery from the US, South Africa and Australia. Today's topic is about how we have changed in recovery. We are not the same man we were in addiction. The guys look at three quotes about change. One deals with people thinking it's easy to be in recovery. The second talks about finding strength in the depth of a winter season in life. And the third talks about going back to the old places that are still the same to see how much you have changed. Listen, enjoy and share with your friends.

This episode is about making amends to our spouse, partner, grown children and possibly our parents. You may want to listen to episode #41 which deals with making amends to a variety of people that we have harmed in our addiction. Here we are dealing with accepting the reality that in some cases "That Ship Has Sailed" and we are never going to fully reconcile with certain loved ones. In this tough reality we discuss turning our focus on our own transformation, character development and new life.

In this episode we look at the link between the character development stage of recovery and the development of our identity. Too often addicts stay stuck in a lifeless form of recovery because they feel their addiction and behavior in addiction defines their identity. We look at questions like: who are you? Who do you want to be? What are the doubts stuck in your head? How do rewrite your story? And we review the four statuses of Identity Development as outlined by American psychologist James Marcia.

In this episode or group of guys in recovery share there reactions to the lyrics of the Jim Croce song "One Less Set of Footsteps." Specifically, the line "But tomorrow's a dream away and today had turned to dust" is our focus for discussion. How can we reach the point where we're ready to dip down into that pile of dust and paint the shining star of our future in the sky?

In this group episode our six guys in recovery from the US, South Africa and Australia share their hearts about the things from their past that they have or still need to overcome. We all have that same stuff that keeps popping up unexpectedly. They show up out of nowhere or they can haunt us like ghosts or broken records. The key is we need to focus on processing them and finding life. Using the lyrics of the song Operator by Jim Croce we see that we can't get stuck in the trap of trying to convince others that we've overcome the blow when we know inside that it isn't real.

This episode looks at our decision making process. Salad Days refers to the times of our youth when we were carefree and innocent. We dug into how make decisions now that bring negative consequences and how we can make good decisions going forward.

Today's episode is another group meeting where our guys in recovery answer these three questions: 1) When the music stops that's when they pain begins? 2) When the music stops and your game is gone who will remember you? 3) What happens to the party when the music stops? They share great insight as to how they have handled recovery as the music of their addiction and addictive lifestyle stopped.

In today's group session our guys in recovery from South Africa, Australia and the US respond to these two quotes: 1) The beauty was once I lied to myself and believed the lie, I could lie to anyone with whatever unique emotion they needed to believe me and to do whatever I wanted. 2) My lies were the perfect escape! They allowed me to escape punishment, escape consequences, escape shame, escape guilt, escape remorse. I know you'll be moved to hear their words and as they share about the days when the truth was revealed.

Do you find yourself holding on to fear and pain? Are you stuck feeling like a victim of injustice? What do you do to find pleasure when you can't find joy in your daily life? Have you turned to isolation as your only way to feel safe in self preservation? Well the answer lies in friendship!! Join us on this journey with Thomas Aquinas to leave fear, pain and loneliness in your rear view mirror.

This episode is an interview with Danny Cosby. He talks about his work in prisons and in church as he shares about addiction and recovery. And for Danny it's all about heart!! If you want more of Danny just search on Danny Cosby Ministries and Danny Cosby Music.

In this episode we look at the difficulty of having a loved one, spouse or partner as our accountability partner. The addict in recovery feels like they're constantly walking on eggshells at home. What is safe to say? How do they talk about cravings? Where do they turn when their spouse makes them feel like they're always messing up? Listen as we outline what's needed in an accountability partner and how it is toxic to expect our loved one to be that person.

Today's episode is another group session. How do you respond to this anonymous quote? "Sometimes you have to make  a decision that will break your heart, but will give peace to your soul." Listen as our six guys in recovery talk about having to break relationship with friends, family members and their old self in order to safeguard their recovery and bring peace to their soul.

Today's episode is in response to feedback from episode #119 on futility. We look at ways that we have been self sabotaging any thoughts of changing or succeeding. Things like self harm, self undermining, self doubt and self dislike. We then outline five changes we can make to break this cycle of self sabotage including self awareness and self transparency. Goldie Hawn said "The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are."

Do you find you're living a life with little or no purpose? Maybe you feel that whatever you try always results in little or no success. You could be caught up in futility. Feeling like all you are ever doing is dusting and, as soon as you dust things off, your life is instantly dust again? It's never too late to be who you want to be! Be encouraged by this message to find the strength to start over.

How can you focus on simplicity? What does that look like? What things that you are now focusing on tend to overwhelm you and steal your peace? Do you find yourself wanting to solve the complex or complicated things and ignoring the simple things that are right in front of you? It's time to begin the simple steps of simplicity in recovery.

Can we forgive but still hold on to resentments? How do we learn to let go of resentment? How has resentment for other people affected your conversations and relationships with friends and family? Do you believe releasing resentment helps you find peace, helps you to lead a relaxed life and smile again? These questions and more in this group discussion episode.

What does planting a seed mean to you? For this episode we look at the seeds we plant every day in our mind, in our words and in others. Do you plant good seeds? Positive seeds? What do you do with negative seeds? An old Chinese proverb remind us "all the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today." Give a listen as we focus on how to plant the seeds for the gardens of our tomorrows.

Today's episode is another group session and it is focused on our relationship with our fathers. The guys from the US, South Africa and Australia share their insight into these two statements: 1) "Dad, I hope to become even half the man you were." and 2) "I feel like half a person, still doing immature things. When will I ever grow up?"

Do you have a safe Haven? Where do you run for shelter? What does a shelter provide for you? What characteristics do you want in a person who can be your safe haven? We discuss these things and look at insight from Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps from her big on WebMD.

Do you find that whenever you try to prove your point it ends up in an argument? Maybe it's difficult with that one person in your family or circle of friends who always shares their opinion and you know their wrong. Maybe it's just a stranger who started up a conversation with you. In the end when we point out that they are wrong, we lose our peace! Listen to our group in today's episode as they share ways they have learned to protect their inner peace by choosing to "Let Them Be Wrong!"

Are you struggling with temptation? Do you find yourself battling slips and relapse again and again? Then it's time to focus on transformation. In times of transition it is not about change of behavior, but it's about inner reorientation and self redefinition. In this episode we outline four phases of this transition.

My regular listeners know that I close every episode with the phrase "stay safe and stay strong." I've had numerous listeners ask me what I actually mean by that and how can they do that. So today's episode will give you a brief plan which you can put into action. It's my hope that you all stay safe and stay strong.

In today's episode we hear a poem entitled My Childhood from my From Ashes to Destiny curriculum and three poems written by people I worked with in their addiction. Two of the poems deal with drug and alcohol addiction and two deal with porn and sexual addiction. All four poems have a common thread, where were or parents when we needed them in our childhood? Where do we turn when there is no one to help us process childhood hurts and wounds? Too often we have no one and find comfort in drugs, alcohol and pornography when we have no one to guide us. If this is you please contact me by messaging me on the link in this episode.

Today's episode is another group session. Our guys in recovery share their thoughts in response to several quotes about loving yourself. As you listen, think about how you can grow in understanding that you are loved, you are worthy and you have a purpose in helping others. Are you ready to begin the journey of loving yourself and others unconditionally? How do you silence the voices of self doubt and self criticism that hinders your trust of self and others?

In this episode we look at the emotional fault lines in our heart they may have come through trauma, betrayal, abuse, addiction, etc. We tend to deny our emotions thinking we're okay. But those emotions may be tremors warning us off a new earthquake coming along those old fault lines. Listen and hear how to survive that earthquake and what to do when the shaking stops.

In this episode I outline five categories of reasons why or friend or family member won't go to rehab or get treatment. They know that we desperately want them to go, we want them to change, we want them to come right. But, they are not at the point of even contemplating stopping using their drug of choice. (You may want to episode #40 entitled Waiting For Change to hear the five stages of change.) I urge listeners of this episode to become better listeners to the addict in their life when you find they won't go to rehab.

Today's episode is in response to a listener who asked "What does living a life of recovery look like?" To answer this question I've turned to the 10 Guiding Principles of Recovery as defined by SAMHSA. I respond to each of the ten principles as an addict in recovery would.

Do you remember something from your youth that you could say "I was old enough to remember all of it, and young enough to understand none of it?" Do those memories come to life whenever you close your eyes? Listen to this episode as our group of guys in recovery share their memories of rejection, adoption, physical, verbal and sexual abuse from their childhood. Be encouraged as they talk about finding healing from those memories that lived so long behind their eyes.

Do you struggle with anxiety, depression, stress, loneliness or a similar feeling that troubles you all day? Does it keep you awake at night? Do you feel stuck in that feeling? Maybe it's time to learn the benefit of healthy distractions which will allow you to drift away from those troubling thoughts.

Do you often feel unloved or disrespected? Do you feel unheard? Perhaps, you feel the addict or person in recovery in your life is still gaslighting you. Maybe your the one in recovery and your lived ones frequently stonewalls you whenever a station for deep discussion arises. In this episode we look at the importance of learning self respect and the keys to learning and sitting respect to others. Be ready to take notes when I list six aspects of respect in healthy relationships.

Many of you have messaged me asking for a group episode on this topic, so here it is! The topic that our guys in recovery from the US, Australia and South Africa discuss is: "By staying isolated, the person in recovery may think they're reinforcing their sobriety. But in reality, long-term recovery means learning to manage triggers, and not to completely avoid them." I love the new bumper sticker from Gary in this episode "Don't Isolate - Illuminate!"

This episode is for two key audiences. The first is for those of us who find it difficult to accept the things we've done because we feel that they were unacceptable for us to do. The second group is those who feel that they are victims or the wounded parties as a result of the behavior of someone they love. We'll look at what it takes to find a way to begin to accept the unacceptable things that have happened. This is called radical acceptance. And this acceptance paves the way to true freedom, lasting happiness and peace.

In response to comments and questions from listeners to episode #99 on negative emotions, here's a look at shame. What caused the feelings of shame? Is there something from my childhood that resulted in me being haunted by shame as an adult? What is toxic shame? How do I find freedom from shame? How can I begin to leave the past in the past so I can begin to hope in my future? These questions and more for you to process in today's episode.

Many of the listeners have expressed how they struggle in the battle to keep negative emotions from leading to relapse. In this group session our guys in recovery from the US, South Africa and Australia tackle this issue of negative emotions. The key questions for discussion are: What are the feelings that you do not like to have? and How do you deal with these emotions when they surface?

I'm today's episode Clint shares his he recently began to realize that he had an addiction, like being a workaholic. We use the lyrics of the Willie Nelson song "Heartaches of a Fool" to introduce this topic. Clint openly shares his journey in processing the pain of the loss of his family and his focus on putting family ahead of career. Could you be like Clint was, hiding what he didn't yet know he was hiding?

In today's group session episode our guys in recovery discuss the tug of war of emotions in addiction when we feel lonely, but want to isolate. They react to the words from the Bob Dylan song which say "Sign on the Window Says Lonely, Sign on the door said 'No Company Allowed.'" How do you get to the point of understanding this contradiction of emotions and establish healthy connections and relationships in recovery?

Why do people become homeless? Why do some people choose to sleep on the streets or the pavement when there are beds available in the shelter? Growing up did it feel like you were "at home" or just a guest at your father's house? How do you define home now that you've been homeless? These questions and more in today's episode with Glenn from Tower of Life men's shelter in Krugersdorp, South Africa.

Today we look at the journey of self care in recovery. We'll utilize Maslow's hierarchy of needs to see how we have neglected them in our active addiction. Then we'll outline a plan to restore then in recovery in our Journey Of Yourself. As you listen to this episode think about these two questions: "what are you focusing on in your journey of self care?" And "what Joy will you find in the midst of the journey to keep you moving forward to your destination?"

This episode is another group session with our guys in recovery from Australia, South Africa and the US. Using a quote from an interview that actor Ben Affleck did we look at these two questions: "How is your life beautiful?" and "What Second Chances are you Most Thankful For?"  I'm sure you'll be encouraged by the answers from our six guys as they reflect on their life and second chances. As you listen to this episode think about how you can choose to see the beauty in your life and in your second chances.

Scott shares his personal journey as well as the coaching approaches that he uses to walk with clients to uncover and heal from deep pain that they have inside. To contact Scott you can reach him by : email scott@granitebearcoaching.com on WhatsApp +44 7508 44 66 86. on Instagram @granitebear_coaching. FB www.facebook.com/scottjwhite224 Be sure to request his PDF on rebuilding trust and finding forgiveness on his website www.granitebearcoaching.com/resources and type in Trust PDF

In this episode we look at what we do in the tough times of addiction. What motivates us to get into recovery? Are we motivated be desperation as we desperately desire to get our family, our job, our friends our life back? Well, we see what it means when people say "desperate men do desperate things." What is the difference between desperation and inspiration? The key is that desperation comes from a place of hopelessness whereas inspiration comes from a breath of fresh air that fill us with hope and positive creativity. This episode will encourage you to look inside at your motivational forces and your values that are giving you the tenacity in your recovery.

This episode is another group session as our 6 guys in recovery from the US, South Africa and Australia respond to these questions: We've heard the advice that "Education is the door to opportunity!" What was your door to the opportunity to find healing from addiction and lasting recovery? They openly share their journey to find the door of opportunity for recovery and healing. You will be encouraged by their words as they relate how doors to education, faith, career and peace have continued to open up for them as they started and stay focused on their recovery.  If you would like to join a group or get one on one counseling to assist you on your journey please contact us through the link in this episode description.

We've all heard about negative baggage that everyone carries around and how it hinders their progress and relationships. Today our group of 7 guys in recovery from the US, South Africa and Australia give their advice as to what would be "good baggage" to take along if you are beginning in a recovery program. Just like in episode #76 the guys give us great quotes for bumper stickers, post-it notes or daily reminders as we walk in recovery. Put on your hiking shoes and join us as we begin to climb the mountain together!

In today's group meeting episode, our guys share how they felt like a puppet when they were ruled by, controlled by their puppeteer. It may have been drugs, alcohol, pornography, cravings, whatever it was, the puppeteer pulled the strings. Have you begun to feel this way?  Do you see that you are not in control of your actions and decisions when the puppeteer simply wiggles his hand and pulls your strings? Do you find yourself doing anything that the puppeteer wants you to? Hopefully the words of our group members will give you the courage to reach out for help to cut the strings!

In today's episode we look at how the label of being a "lost cause" is huge in addiction. Firstly, family members and friends of addicts who have been wounded by the behavior of addicts consider them as a lost cause.  Addicts themselves feel like a lost cause, unworthy of forgiveness, unable to change, unable to even trust themselves.  Often addicts feel that many in the treatment community expect them to fail. So how do we bring hope into the hopelessness and despair of being a lost cause in addiction? This episode will challenge your thinking whether you are an addict, an affected family member or friend, or if you have been wondering how to help anyone caught in the snare of addiction.

This quote by Jason Statham from the movie "Wrath of Man" is the topic for this episode. It a group discussion and our guys in recovery from the US, Australia and South Africa openly share how boredom has been their enemy in recovery. We're reminded of the quote that "an idle mind is the devil's workshop" and how to stay productively busy, especially early in recovery. From the words of our group participants, boredom is sneaky, dangerous, aggravates triggers, and can result in feeling unwanted or unloved.

Today's episode is a glimpse into homelessness from the words of eleven men in the Tower of Life homeless shelter in Krugersdorp, Gauteng, South Africa. You may be surprised to learn how and why they choose to be invisible from family, from friends and from society. I just finished spending 18 days and nights living in Tower of Life with over 70 men in their season of homelessness. I know you'll be blessed as they share their views on the topic of being invisible.

Did you here up thinking you needed to be a better friend so others would like you? Are you still finding yourself a people pleaser in order to be accepted by others? Listen to it group as they discuss these questions and share how they learned that what they needed was to be better at choosing friends, not getting exhausted trying to please them!

What's are the old habits that you have that would be bad habits to carry into your new season of recovery? Our group of guys from South Africa, Australia and the US tackle this question in today's episode. They look deeply at lifestyle changes that need to be made. So this is not simply to stop drinking, porn or drugging! And it's a deeper view than people, places and things.

Once you lose your foundation what are you standing on? Who or what died in your life that was your foundation which resulted in you falling? Listen to today's episode as a group of guys in recovery discuss these questions and how they fuel their addiction as well as the foundation that they have found in recovery which keeps them growing and progressing in life.

I'm this episode we look at our present circumstances that seem unbearable and our inability to change them. Using five quotes from Austrian philosopher Viktor Frankl we outline a five step action plan to change our circumstances by changing ourself.

A lot of people spend more time at work than at home. How has your work or workplace been an asset or a liability on your recovery? How have you dealt with the need to share or hide your past addiction at your workplace? Listen as our small group of guys in recovery from Australia, South Africa and the United States discuss these questions from their experiences in workplace settings.

Listen to our group members as they answer these questions as they relate to the title of this episode: How does that relate to your story? How does that help you to drop old resentment in order to forgive those who wounded you and to forgive yourself? 

Can you remember a day, an event, a situation or circumstance when you really wanted to quit your recovery or quit life and just go back to your drug of choice? Listen to today's episode as our group of seven guys share where they found and continue to find the strength to endure.

I know you'll be touched felt as you listen to the guys in our group answer today's question: "What did you miss out on in your childhood that might have caused a fear of missing out, a FOMO, that fueled addiction choices?" Please message me if you'd like to share or get connected to a group so you can share and find your healing from FOMO.

How would you answer these questions? Why do we chase so hard after those things or people that are the hardest to get? Why are we so nonchalant about recovery? Why don't we chase recovery like we chased our next high? In today's episode our group of guys in recovery share their answers. I'm sure it will stir your thoughts.

This is another group session and our guys share their idea for motivational quotes that they would put on their car as a bumper sticker. Listen for quotes like "If you woke up without a goal... Go back to sleep!" After listening please message me with any bumper stickers you would make. Thanks

We have all heard "No Pain, No Gain," but in this episode out group of 7 guys in recovery express how they gain strength by sharing openly and knowing they are not alone in their journey. Contact me on this podcast, on my website, or DM me on Instagram @davidfroma2d if you would like to link up with a group.

This episode is another group session as our seven guys in recovery from the US, South Africa and Australia answer these two questions: "What do you wish you had known when you were a teenager?" and "If you could give advice to your 16 year old self, what would it be?" Their answers are full of wisdom and insight that we can all benefit from. Listen and share it with your friends.

Does the dirt from your past still haunt you? Do you friends and family always run your dirt in your face? Do you sometimes feel like the comic strip character Pig-Pen with a cloud of dirt following you everywhere? Listen to this episode to see how to begin to forgive yourself and become someone who can say "My dirt is under my shoes.'

Are you happy today? Do you enjoy life? Out do you find you keep chasing after happiness? No matter how hard you chase it, does happiness always elude you? Today we look at ten steps to happiness that all of us can apply to our life. Are you ready to make your mind up to be happy with where you are in your journey of recovery and still be courageous enough to dream big dreams?

Do you feel like people can see you, but only see the addict, not the real you? Maybe you have always felt that people refused to see you or that your thoughts and feelings were always invalidated. Perhaps you feel painfully visible but entirely ignored. This episode looks at these feelings and more as we discuss the journey to being visible again in our recovery.

How has fear of people's reaction to your truth kept you from opening up? Have you ever withheld the truth from your family for fear that you would scar them again if they knew the truth? What do you think about these statements.. sometimes there is too much truth in the world and not enough understanding... If I told you the truth, you would have tried to do something about it! Listen to this episode to hear the feedback from our group of guys in recovery from around the world. I'm sure everyone will benefit by their insight.

Thoughts are not the same as urges. And cravings are not the same as uncontrollable desires. How do we learn to gain control over our thoughts and cravings before they lead to relapse? Listen to the group of eight guys in recovery from around the world as they share their idea on today's topic.

What is the carrot and stick method of motivation? Does this method actually work in addiction treatment? Is it the best way to establish long term recovery? Does the carrot and stick motivate change our deception? What characteristics should I look for in treatment programs, sponsors or accountability partners?

Are you addicted to anger? Does it bring you the same rush that risk takers feel? Do you use your anger to control others? Is it your tool of manipulation? If this sounds ask too familiar it's time to find freedom from your anger addiction.

Stacy Dodd shares his journey from experimentation, to addiction, to prison, and intimately to the founder of a community center www.hopecenter1usa.com and author of Backpack to the Burbs https://www.amazon.com/dp/1736336800/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_364JZ5KPB6PH0P6XJGKM to an executive with Celebrate Recovery and www.vertavahealth.com. You can contact him through any of those links or on his website www.Stacydodd.com

In this episode we use the classical model of PTSD with a new twist to look at Post Treatment Stress Disorder and Post Time Stress Disorder. Discover how to deal with the stressors you are facing after completing rehab or outpatient treatment OR after serving your time in prison.

Today's episode is another group session and we discuss these points: There are two core fears. 1) losing what you have and 2) not getting what you want. How do we deal with these fears? How can we grow to fall in love with where we are in the moment?

Self doubt sucks. Where do we go with all the doubt, lack of trust and second guessing as we try to stay strong in recovery. Listen to our group of eight as they each share their journey to trust themselves and trust their higher power to lead them to the right choices.

Our group of eight guys in recovery discuss how opening up at small group and listening to others open up keeps then strong. If you would like to start or join an online small group contact me and we'll plug you in.

What boundaries would you set up for an addict who wants to live in your house? How would they be different in a half way house? Would you for tough love or unconditional love? What freedoms would the addict have? What about money? These topics and more from our group of eight guys in recovery.

More than 115 Americans for every day from an opioid overdose. Eighty percent of opioid addicts started with advise if a prescription painkiller. These statistics have brought America and the world to an awareness of the opioid crisis. But what do addicts really think about their personal crisis in the midst of opioid addiction? How can they give a way out when they hit rock bottom? Adam shares his perspective as someone who became addicted to opioids as a teenager and he looks back on his years of addiction.

Today we compare Dante, one of our group of eight, and his journey in pornography addiction to the allegorical poem Dante's Inferno. We discuss: how addiction is a contradiction to God's will for you, how it feels to be stuck in the black forest and how you get out, the importance of vulnerability in seeking help, and much more. Tune in for this interview, you won't regret it!!

In the third group meeting I ask the guys: many of my listeners and people who want to help addicts have never been an addict and would never use drugs, get drunk or download pornography. So they struggle to understand why you do. What would you say to them to help them understand and empathize with people caught in the snare of addiction?

This is our second group session with right men in recovery from around the world. Today they each answer this two part question: Can you remember that moment when you passed from experimental or casual use to full on addiction? What were your thoughts or emotions that led you into addiction rather than asking for help while it was still early?

What are your thoughts about about methadone and medication assisted treatment (MAT)? Is it simply trading one drug for another? Is it a crutch? Is it a sign of weakness or poor moral choices? Can you empathize with the clients who say it is their first step to getting their life back?

In today's episode I share the thoughts of eight friends in recovery from the U.S., England, Australia and South Africa. I asked each of them two questions: What motivated you to stop? and What keeps you motivated in your recovery? Enjoy as their answers are shared in a group session format!

What do you need to do to be a Peer Coach? What's the difference between a coach and a peer coach? How does the clinical community diagnose addicts? What criteria do they use? How can I learn to understand the feelings and emotions of addicts?

In this one year anniversary episode we look at why we do what we do. Why addiction? Why prisoners, the homeless and other marginalized people? How can you be equipped, empowered and encouraged to begin to reach out to the addicts in your community? What is the From Ashes to Destiny curriculum all about?

What are Inhibitions? How do they help us control our impulsivity? How did our impulsivity fuel addiction? How do we restore our inhibitions so impulsivity doesn't lead to relapse?

Where do you stand on this question? What are the pros and cons about decriminalization of drugs? What are the historical models about drugs that have shaped policies, laws and treatment? Listen, share and please send your feedback.

An interview with Clive Human, founder of STOP, Standing Together to Oppose Pornography. Clive shares his wisdom and insight about the causes of addiction to pornography, the effects it has on the addict and their loved ones, steps to break free from this addiction and how to find hope to begin the journey to freedom. If you want to contact Clive in Cape Town go to his website www.stop.org.za

I'm this episode we look at the pain of victims of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. How do victims copper with this pain? What is a victim mindset or mentality? How can a victim mentality prolong our pain? How do I know if I'm stuck in victim mentality? How do I begin the steps of healing? These questions and more! Give it a listen!

Many addicts spend their life chasing that first high! In recovery they chase happiness as they still need instant gratification. Most people chase something: happiness, money, forgiveness, love, a second chance, a fresh start. What are you chasing? Are you ready to slow down and enjoy the journey? Be still, listen to the music, and dance.

What is the Imposter Syndrome? How does it relate to addiction and recovery? Am I the only one who struggles with it? How do I stop feeling like this? I'm tired of going through life feeling like a fraud!

Do you feel like you're treading water? Are you stuck in emotions, behaviors or circumstances that could pull you under the water? Today's episode explores these questions and charts a path to get out of the water, to ask for help and to build happiness into our everyday life. Remember as Richard Wagner wrote "joy is in you, not in things."

Today we look at the addiction to cutting. Why did people do this? How did they deal with the pain of cutting themselves? How can we begin to reach out to help them? What is the cycle of a cutting addiction? Remember if you're going to hold a conversation with someone you fear is cutting themselves go back to episode 1 of these podcasts on how to hold that discussion.

Are you working through the 12 Steps? Here's hello for Steps 8&9. Perhaps you have people you have struggled to apologize to. What are the components of a good apology? What if they are not ready to forgive? What if I want reconciliation, but they don't?

Surrender is a tough thing to do. How do I Surrender? How do I turn my life and will over to a higher power? What are the things you would be hesitant to surrender? When you enter a shelter or a rehab how does it feel to surrender your freedom and trust in their authority?

What do you need to escape in your life? What are addicts escaping with their drug of choice? What's the difference between healthy and unhealthy escapes? How do I develop healthy escapes as part of my lifestyle?

You can't save someone who's not willing to participate in their own rescue! There's no hell like watching drugs turn someone you love into someone you don't even know! What was the hardest thing you ever had to do during your son's addiction? How do you take care of yourself during the chaos of addiction? This and more in today's episode.

In this episode we look at the Stages of Change as developed by Prochaska and DiClemente. How many times have you thought about changing but were not ready to take the step? How often have you arranged for a loved one to go to rehab only to find out they were not ready to commit? Are you waiting for the world or the system to change before you do? What small steps could you take to overcome your fear of change? Is it really worth the risk? These questions and more in today's episode.

I'm this episode we look at the life of heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. How can an abusive or alcoholic father make us a fighter? How can we survive our childhood with an abusive parent? What are our survival skills? How can the training regimen of a boxer be our model for recovery from addiction?

What is authenticity? Listen as Noah talks about the importance of authenticity in our families and how lack of it can fuel addiction. To learn more about Noah's work check out his website www.integernetwork.com and listen to his podcasts entitled What If?

What are the links between homelessness and addiction? Is addiction the cause of the result of homelessness, or both? What do you see when you see a homeless person? How can you help homeless people access the services and addiction treatment they need?

In this episode we look at how triggers can birth cravings which can result in relapse. Different types of triggers are identified. How to start a trigger journal is introduced. Another powerful tool, surf the urge, is presented and the acronym WALK shows the way to process our cravings.

How do we transition from living one day at a time to bring an overcomer? What things can we do to begin long game thinking even while we need to do all the short game things early in our recovery? Let's look at people, places and things from both perspectives.

When you have the temptation to relapse, when people mock you, when they try to drag you down, when stress builds and your cravings are constant... That's the time to stand your ground and not back down.

Whether you are an addict, in recovery or the family out loved ones of an addict this episode is for you! Listen to the hurricane inside the head of an addict. Reflect on the hurricane-like devastation the addict in your family brought to your house and community. But everyone, hold on, your rainbow will come.

What is stinking thinking? How can it fuel relapse and make recovery harder? How can I learn and utilize mindfulness to change from negativity to positive thoughts?

What are the symptoms of withdrawal? How do I recognize them? How can I help a friend in withdrawal? What's the difference between acute and post acute withdrawal? How long should withdrawal last? How do I know if I should go to the hospital?

Drug muled, arrested, pregnant and facing life in prison in Bangkok, Thailand, Vanessa shares her journey of physical, emotional and spiritual prisons. Find healing and hope as you listen to her story.

Jarryd Smith, the founder of Second Chance Trust in Cape Town, South Africa, discusses peer pressure, temptation to try drugs, the need to fit in, the need for acceptance, and other issues facing youth in high school. It's all about teaching kids to make healthy decisions.

What are the four pillars of recovery? Learn these plus the seven key aspects of character development to ensure that your recovery is built on a firm foundation.

Is all fear bad? What is the link between fear of failure and addiction? Have you ever been paralyzed by fear? How can we overcome our fear? What ways does the fear of failure disguise itself?

What are the benefits of living one day at a time in recovery? How do we actually do it? How do I know if I'm simply going through the motions? It's time to seize the day!

In this episode we look at the heart of sex addicts and especially convicted rapists. How can we tell if they changed? What do we look for? What about the pain and trauma is their victims? Isn't better to just lock up the rapists and throw away the key? How do we ever know if they are safe to return to our communities? These questions and more on today's episode.

How can the magic happen for you in your search for sobriety? What if the journey of recovery is really about learning to walk on a highway named happiness? How has my lost innocence from childhood affected my ability to get clean and sober? What are the steps to regaining innocence and beginning to believe in myself again?

What does aftercare mean? How do I learn to walk the walk, not just talk the talk of recovery? What do I look for in a sponsor to walk the journey with me? How can I show then I am sincere in my desire to stay clean and sober? These questions and more in today's episode.

Ricardo discusses the challenges of reconciliation with family, earning trust that was lost and how we can welcome others into our community. Do you really believe everyone deserves a second chance?

How can you reach out to inmates in prison? The importance of faith in finding freedom from the obsession to use drugs. Is there hope for a five time convicted felon? These topics and more as Noble openly shares his journey and encouragement for others in prison or in the community.

Pastor Larry Arnold of Eagle's Nest Community Church in Atlanta, Georgia shares about his work with homeless alcoholics. Why are they afraid to go to rehab? What is the connection between homelessness and alcoholism? How does the alcohol industry seem to target poor, inner city communities? These questions and so much more.

Jonathan Clayton, the founder and director of Hope Prison Ministry in South Africa, shares about how he talks with new prisoners. As an ex-inmate he understands their feelings and openly discusses how he has learned his inner hurts that led to his criminal behavior.

In this episode we look at the vicious whirlpool of loneliness that pulls us deeper in our addiction. Have you ever been caught in a whirlpool like this? You realize quickly you are not strong enough to swim out of it. Only love can reach into that whirlpool and pull us out to life.

Are you caught in hopelessness? Where do you find hope? How do you discover hope? Who will walk with you on this journey? This questions and more in this episode as you begin on you path From Ashes to Destiny.

Today we look at the faces addicts wear to hide our feelings, our need to be fully known and fully loved, and the challenge of friends and family of addicts to walk in ridiculous grace. To learn more about A2D check out our website at www.froma2d.org

Here's an inside look at the opioid epidemic from Laurence, a young man from Cape Town who got hooked at the age of 14. You'll want to share this episode with friends, family and community leaders!

All of us in recovery are doing things everyday everywhere that would have been impossible in our addiction! Click on the link below to go the Anchor app, scroll down, click the message button and leave me a voice message of the things you do that used to be impossible. http://anchor.fm/a2d--from-addict-to-disci

Deon discusses the pressure that having money to spend after to his addiction and the importance of his faith and his family in recovery. This interview is dedicated to the late Rod Shiers, pastor, friend, brother who lived to love the unloved.

How do we handle the memories of our time in addiction? Which memories do we remember and which do we choose to forget? Listen as Deon talks about his early years in addiction in Durban.

A powerful, candid interview with Bobby in Canada as he shares about his struggle with addiction. We look at the four seasons as a day in the life of an addict. An inspiration for this episode came from the painting by Freiman Stoltzfus entitled Cathedral of Seasons. Check out more of his art on Instagram @freimanstoltzfusgallery and his website www.freimanstoltzfus.com

In this episode we look at the term "Gaslighting" and how it can be applied to addiction. Understanding this activity of manipulation, control and deception helps us realize the depth of the wound we caused in others. With this knowledge we are better prepared to make amends in a way that brings healing and restoration.

Steve shares about key things he has learned in street outreach in St. Catharine's, Ontario, Canada. As the founder of Roots, he has established the core values of relationship, love and openness in the work with people caught in addiction.

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see the old you? Can you see the progress you have made in recovery? Listen for ways to stay focused on your reflection of growth in the journey.

Danny discussed why people relapse, the hard work of recovery, the counterfeit comforter and the enemy of sobriety. He closes with the first song he wrote on bunk 51 in prison. For more about Danny go to www.dannycosbyministries.com

Danny outlines five nuggets of wisdom to live by in recovery. Enjoy this interview as Danny talks about his addiction, incarceration and his heart wound which led to addiction. He also shared the stigmas he faced upon release from prison.

In this episode we look at the lifestyle of addiction, the joy of the dance and the pain of the consequences. Then we delve into the many opportunities we have to establish a new dance, the dance of recovery.

In this episode we look at why From A2D works more than 2/3 of our time with addicts in prison. Also we compare the life, emotions and stressors in addiction with those inside of prison. Look for the similarities between the prison in our mind and life inside a Correctional Facility.

Today we look at some of the emotional wounds that we have as addicts that lead us to self medicate and keep us as fragile as a candle in the wind.

Today we look at a variety of things that can get us caught up in addiction and/or mess up our recovery.

Do you have a friend or family member who is struggling with addiction? Have you wondered how to talk to them about your concerns? David Hain is the Founder of From Addict to Disciple (A2D), which works in communities, rehabs and prisons in the United States, South Africa and Kenya. In this episode he gives insight on how to have a conversation with your loved one about the addiction that ensnares them.