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Action Science Theatre

Action Science Theatre

By Dan Bond

Action Science Theatre is a podcast in the style of a radio play, that mixes action, science, comedy and silly voices to create a welcome distraction from real life for 20 minutes or so.

It is unquestionably the finest free online audio drama you can get without trying any others.
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Currently playing episode

Aiming at the Shrew

Action Science TheatreJan 01, 2017

Aiming at the Shrew
Jan 01, 201723:36
Rights and Wrongs
Dec 05, 201617:02
Gibbon Half a Chance
Nov 04, 201615:33
Breaking the Mould
Oct 01, 201619:12
Not Very PC
Sep 01, 201614:33
Bullet Time
Aug 01, 201620:53
Frank and Shine
Jul 01, 201619:00
The Shamhattan Project
Jun 01, 201620:38
Crimea River
May 01, 201614:16
Mystery Cubed
Apr 04, 201622:56
Gone to Seed
Mar 06, 201618:05
A Right Hook from the Back Office
Feb 04, 201620:37
The Marshun

The Marshun

Space. A big, empty void full of nothing. That’s what the AST writers have to contend with every month. So, the easiest thing is to take someone else’s idea. PARODY!

We’ve been here before with this fella, but this time he’s getting left on Mars. It’s just like a certain big budget blockbuster that came out not too long ago. But ours has an even bigger budget. And some farting.

Commander Masterton / Mr Weebly – Brian Mackenwells
MR CHIPS – Hannah Rackauskas
Flight Technician Lucy Steers – Elena Wright
Flight Engineer Harry Lim – Jamie Crowther
Flight Director Owen Styles – Dan Bond

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Mackenwells

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Jan 02, 201616:45
A Point-Mass Carol
Dec 01, 201522:22
Radio Blah Blah
Nov 02, 201523:07
Dolly Mixture
Oct 03, 201512:46
Uncivil Engineering
Sep 02, 201519:48
Broom Raider
Jul 01, 201517:06
Danse Danse Macabre
Jun 01, 201512:57
Gravitational Push
May 03, 201512:44
Radio Times
Apr 03, 201515:35
Mar 03, 201518:29
It's All Rover
Feb 03, 201516:06
Jan 04, 201514:41
Have Yourself A Crabby Little Christmas Island
Dec 01, 201422:04
Nov 03, 201415:51
Much Ado About 4.2 Billion Km

Much Ado About 4.2 Billion Km

Pluto! Pluto! Here, Pluto!

Pluto is a long way away, and is a barren, featureless rock. No wait, that’s Australia (just kidding, kangaroo lovers!).

Some people can’t make up their minds about things. Spaciticians can’t make up their minds whether something is a planet, or a speck on their telescope. So Pluto has always provided them with a tough challenge.

Is it a planet? Is it a floaty rock? Let battle commence!

Alex – Brian Mackenwells
Chris / waiter – Dan Bond
Chairman – Dan Booth
Sam – Simon Wilson
Kate – Anna Griffiths
Andrew / a human – David Ault

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Mackenwells

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Sep 30, 201417:15
Determined Sex

Determined Sex

Sex. It’s everywhere. Whilst you’re reading this there will be several incidents of sex happening nearby. Does that make you feel dirty? Well, let us cleanse you. In an audio sense.

Back in the early 1900s, we didn’t really understand what made men and women different. But now we do, and thank goodness. Eh? Come and meet Tabbie Stephens, a woman ahead of her time, as she wanders in to a male-dominated world. Our world. Will she find what she’s looking for? We know you will…

Tabbie Stephens – Rhona Wells
Dr Arnold Walton – Brian Macken
Dr Michael Howells – David Ault
Linda Higgins – Victoria Maskell

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Apr 06, 201419:54
A Mean Time with Greenwich

A Mean Time with Greenwich

“Excuse me?”


“Do you have the time?”

“I do. I have it written on my hand. It’s 7.30am.”

“Thanks, no, wait. How do you know that’s right?”

“I checked it with the speaking clock.”

“Ah, excellent. Thanks.”

Time is a strange thing isn’t it? I mean, you’ve just spent some of it reading this – do you feel that was a good use of time? Do you? Well, that says all it needs to about you doesn’t it.

Hey! Come and listen to the latest episode, and find out more about how time has always been a strange thing. How do you get trains to run on time? Does Mussolini know? Do First Great Western know? No. Action Science Theatre knows.

Mayor – Dan Bond
Ruth Murray – Mary Horan
Tabitha Mannis – Victoria Maskell
Rosemary Stone – Wendy Bradley
Station voices – Dan Bond, Brian Macken

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Mar 02, 201418:49
Inflated Ego

Inflated Ego

Pfffff. Pfffff. Pffffff. There we go. I’ve tied 37 balloons to this chair, that should be enough to get me to the moon.

Here I go – and release! Oh. Why aren’t I going up? This is awkward. Now I look ridiculous. Oh well, while I untie all these balloons why don’t you settle in and take a listen to this little beauty?

Do you remember Edna Egerton from Episode 2? No? Well, go back and listen to that. Okay? Right, this time we visit her a bit earlier in her career when she, like me, is messing about with balloons. Join us for racing, nudity, cheese and sky-based adventure. Let’s get it on.

Edna Egerton – Ciara Kelly
Lotty Lawton-Carstairs – Georgie Longley
Ego O’Brien – Brian Macken
Hector Moncrieff – David Ault
Lady Elizabeth Stowage – Rhona Wells
Simpkins – Dan Bond

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Feb 02, 201425:07
Wrecklessly Subordinate

Wrecklessly Subordinate

Dive! Dive! Dive!

Whoah! Exciting huh? Your heart is pounding, adrenalin courses through your veins, and your left eye twitches uncontrollably.

Well calm down buddy, you can’t listen to audio drama with all that going on. Have a cup of tea and settle in for this aquatic adventure. Will they find Nemo? Will they Moby Dick? And why is severe head trauma so common in deep sea submersible vehicles?

Let’s get to it.

Blue – Elena Wright
Chris Ellis – Dan Bond
Michael Stone – Jamie Crowther
Erica Holden – Tara Clarke
Josephine Heller – Wendy Bradley

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Jan 02, 201418:07
Christmas Crackerz
Dec 09, 201325:10
Death by Dewey

Death by Dewey

Libraries are a great place for a snooze. You can stash yourself away in a quiet section (say, computer programming languages, pre-1990) and get yourself a good 20 minutes kip without being disturbed.

And you can keep that tip for free.

But the life of a librarian isn’t all shushing people and cleaning up sleepy drool. Sometimes (really not very often, mind) it can mean excitement and adventure (hardly at all in fact). Join Ruth Fletcher and her Dr Watson, Carla Bryson, as they attempt to introduce someone to the term “overdue”. Come this way my pretties, come this way…

Ruth Fletcher – Rhona Wells
Carla Bryson – Kat Steiner
Nick Stewart – Rory Morrison
Gardener, George Larson – Dan Bond

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Nov 13, 201317:29
A Waste of Time

A Waste of Time

“We are pleased to present a guest episode of Action Science Theatre created especially for!”

If you could travel back in time and bring anyone back to the modern day, who would it be? Our choice? We’d leave them where they were, but suggest more people wear hats. Very tall hats. A lot of you would probably say Shakespeare, but, well, that’s you isn’t it? Predictable. And slightly shifty looking.

Join us for a special episode created just for our friends at It has the answers to everything, and so much more. What is Parkin? Who has the best carpets? And, of course, which is better; art or science? Check, check, check, check it out.

Scientist – Brian Macken
William Shakespeare – Dan Booth
Isaac Newton – Dan Bond

Written by Dan Booth, Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Nov 07, 201313:37
The Man with the Golden Game

The Man with the Golden Game

Na na na na na, na na na… WAIT! They have trigger-happy lawyers. Stop that.

So this episode is about a spy. A spy who likes girls and drinking. But isn’t like any other spy character who likes those things. Oh no. It’s really a tribute to… No… No it isn’t a tribute to anything. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Join Norton Chambers as he gets kicked out of University and goes off to make a load of money. Like we all do. Except Norton gets himself mixed up in a heap of trouble. Will he make it through this adventure alive? Will you listen to the whole theme tune without skipping it? What did happen in the lifeboat? This way my dears, this way…

Mason Porter – David Ault
Dr Miles Nairdowell / Passer-by – Calum Mitchell
Norton Chambers – Brian Macken
Dean – Dan Bond
Holly Standout – Georgie Longley
Casino dealer / Guard – Ciara Kelly

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Oct 01, 201327:25
Green Man Cross Code LIVE!

Green Man Cross Code LIVE!

Somewhere, in a field in Wales…

Some Nobel-prize-winning scientists have arrived at a science conference to share their knowledge. But it isn’t a conference. It’s a festival. With dirty people and music. And what’s more, they’ve lost their Nobel prizes. Which goes to show anyone can disappoint you given a long enough timescale.

Will they find their medals? Which food vans will the cast visit with their free meal tickets? Will everyone get sprayed with acid? Go, go go! Then go some more!

Tony Thompson – Dan Bond
Nicola Martel – Rhona Wells
Timandra Holt – Kirsten Summers
Dave / Concert-goer / Other concert-goer – Brian Macken
Audience – Themselves

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Sep 01, 201310:55
Space Stationary
Jul 31, 201322:21
Name Calling

Name Calling

Do you know what you are? Do you? Do you really? Do you want me to tell you? Right now? To your face? You… You… YOU…

Are an AST listener!

Well done. Wise choice.

The Internabbly Pobbly of Zoomebumly Nomenclammy-wammy (or something, you’ll have to listen to someone competent saying it) sounds like a fun place to work. That must be why Kate has signed up. Join her on her first day and meet Douglas, Nick and, of course, certain danger. Will they discover the secrets of Scarborough? Will the disembodied voice tell them about special offers available near the till? Will anything ever be tidy again? Don’t just sit there, find out…

Kate – Kirsten Summers
Douglas – Jon Viner
Nick – Dan Bond
Recorded voice – Wendy Bradley

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Jul 05, 201318:45
Jimmy Calendrics

Jimmy Calendrics

All together now…

“Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday AST,
happy birthday to you!”

Well done, excellent work. A particularly good range of tenors amongst you.

AST is 1 year old! (Okay, not quite. Obviously we didn’t start with an episode zero though. Shut it maths people.) To celebrate we have this special episode that features us playing ourselves! Although not until the end. So hang on in there for that.

Can Jimmy win back some credibility from the scientific community? Can he win back any kind of respect? And where did Gene Roddenberry come from? Stop asking, start listening…

Jimmy, Mike, Science Brian – Brian Macken
Debs – Miriam Higgins
Anne, Mona Lisa – Rhona Wells
Art, Christopher Columbus, Smethley – Matt Kirk
Commentator, Sailor, Gene Roddenberry, Action Dan – Dan Bond
Producer Dan – Dan Booth

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

Jun 01, 201318:48
Ice, Ice Maybe

Ice, Ice Maybe

We know 3 facts about the Antarctic:

  1. It’s cold
  2. They have penguins
  3. Penguins tend to poop everywhere

Into this icy, poop-covered wasteland comes Bill Chesham – a man seeking quiet isolation. Instead, he’s in for the adventure of a lifetime.

Will Bill find out what the clanging sound is? Who solved the Rubik’s Cube? And what sound do penguins make? Find out now…

Bill Chesham – Dan Bond
Sailor, Helpful Penguin, Andrew – David Ault
Sandra – Kirsten Summers
Melissa – Elena Wright
Ian – Jamie Crowther

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

May 12, 201322:28
War of the Cotswolds

War of the Cotswolds

Anyone who knows the AST crew personally may have noticed a cock-sure swagger that they seem to conduct themselves with these days. It’s the confidence that only comes from doing almost a year of audio drama podcasts.

Recently we decided to harness this power and put it to work. So we entered a competition.
(In case you were wondering, we didn’t win. Or come in the top 3. Which obviously means it’s brilliant, but misunderstood.)

And here we make available to you, our sophisticated audience, our entry for this competition: War of the Cotswolds.

What do you do if your budget’s been cut, your marking isn’t finished, you’ve run out of biscuits, and aliens land in the playing field? Time to find out…

Herbert “Spadger” Watkins  – Dan Bond
Terry “It Must Be Alive” Smythe – Brian Macken
Gareth “Epic Fail” McPhail – Dan Booth

Written by Dan Bond, Brian Macken & Dan Booth

Produced by Dan Booth

Original music by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by

May 06, 201313:55
Voyage of the Hammed
Apr 01, 201319:18
The Weighting Game
Mar 01, 201319:29
The Time Artist
Feb 01, 201316:04
They do it with Magnets
Jan 01, 201319:33
How Science Saved Christmas
Dec 01, 201218:01
Solvay-nt Abuse
Nov 01, 201221:44
Science Shoot-off LIVE!
Oct 11, 201206:25
Brain Training
Sep 27, 201217:23
Aug 28, 201221:14