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Connect The Dots B*tch

Connect The Dots B*tch

By Amy Fiedler

A podcast that delivers you an honest and alternative look inside your mental and emotional struggles. Expect Amy to deep dive on topics such as mainstream mental health, toxic relationships, communication faux pas, pop culture and social norms.
Amy is a Certified Trauma Support Specialist, Holistic Life Coach and Reiki Master Practitioner. If you are searching for understanding of yourself and others in your life, this podcast is for you.
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Currently playing episode

Ways We're Taught Not to Have Boundaries

Connect The Dots B*tchDec 05, 2023

Ways We're Taught Not to Have Boundaries
Dec 05, 202333:03
When They Complain But Resist Changing

When They Complain But Resist Changing

Amy discusses what is happening inside an individual who is unloading their pain but resistant to making any changes in their life. She digs into the different scenarios you may have encountered with friends, family or even partners and the distinctions between someone seeking validation, wanting guidance or just wanting to complain. She leaves you with insight into how to navigate these relationships in the most supportive ways possible for yourself and for them!


  • Being resistant to growth
  • Being open to growth
  • Trauma-dumping
  • Supportive boundaries
  • Post-traumatic awareness
  • Supportive friendships + relationships
  • Taking advantage of professional support (free + paid)
Nov 28, 202343:48
Extreme Thinking

Extreme Thinking

Amy discusses the concept of "extreme thinking" and what fuels the behavior pattern. She offers her insights into how this binary way of thinking can show up in mental health social media content and perpetuate victimhood. By the end of the episode, you're left with more knowledge on this topic as well as what you will want to work on improving to step away from thinking in extremes!


  • Self-protection + self-preservation
  • Binary Thinking / All or Nothing Thinking / Black + White Thinking / Extreme Thinking
  • Self-trust
  • Victim marketing
  • Solutions for extreme thinking

If you're enjoying these episodes of Connect the Dots B*tch, take a moment to leave me a 5-star rating on Apple or Spotify!

Nov 22, 202334:26
Here's Why You're Not Healing
Nov 14, 202336:52
Stop Your Attachment to Potential
Nov 07, 202333:37
The One About Anxiety + Trusting Others
Oct 13, 202341:29
Confidence Comes from Self-Trust
Oct 03, 202301:06:58
Secure Relationship Secrets

Secure Relationship Secrets

Amy gives you a look inside a secure relationship from the perspective of someone who has experienced trauma from past abusive relationship. She offers you (5) insider tips to help you become aware of and normalize what you can expect to occur within a secure attachment. She also shares solutions on how to navigate conflict and confusion in the most supportive way!


  • Secure attachments
  • Healthy conflict resolution
  • Emotional management
  • Trauma triggers
  • Boundary Setting
  • Personal stories from Amy
  • Personal life updates from Amy

If you're enjoyed this episode or past Connect The Dots B*tch episodes, leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify! Be sure to share this episode with your partner, friend or family member who may need this insight as well.

Sep 18, 202301:06:15
The One About Ghosting

The One About Ghosting

Amy provides you a full rundown of what 'ghosting' is, what people commonly confuse it to be, why people ghost and how to cope with being ghosted! She offers you real-life examples of being ghosting, deconstructs what is happening for the ghost-er and ghost-ee and her expertise on how harmful and abusive this behavior can be.


  • Ghosting
  • Ghosting while dating
  • Ghosting while in a committed relationship
  • What does NOT constitute ghosting
  • Abandonment fears
  • How to cope with being ghosted
  • Why you feel haunted by having been ghosting and can't move through the pain
  • Practical steps for coping with being ghosted
  • What to work on if you're wanting to ghost
Sep 12, 202301:10:52
A New Phase of Life

A New Phase of Life

Amy announces some big changes in her life, answers a few FAQs and shares how she's navigating it all, what she's prioritizing and how she's finding a healthy balance. She offers you key points and takeaways that not only pertain to what she's going through, but how they may connect to you and your life and relationships.


  • A big life update from Amy!
  • What needs are always important to prioritize, especially through life changes.
  • Prenatal + childhood trauma
  • Planning for the future
  • Trauma triggers and emotional triggers
  • Acknowledging your personal growth
  • Amy's personal reflections on her own growth, old behavior patterns + how she's learning to be more flexible within these new life experiences!
Sep 05, 202358:41
Do You Need to Have an Honest Conversation?

Do You Need to Have an Honest Conversation?

Amy shares a quick life update about her recent travels and the "adventure" (re: disaster) that occurred on the way back home. She discusses how to approach having an honest conversation with someone, even if that individual is incapable or unwilling. You'll hear her deconstruct why sometimes we are uncomfortable in relationship to others (hint: their behavior may not align with our truth) and provides you clear insight and practical steps in navigating the nuances of difficult relationships!


  • Life update from Amy!
  • Honest, transparent conversations
  • Navigating other people's dysregulated states
  • Setting a boundary with someone who is dismissive.
  • Difficult relationships
  • Staying true to yourself in spite of how others behave
  • Communicating to move through confilct.
Aug 22, 202353:43
The One About Healthy Conflict Resolution
Aug 08, 202348:41
What Does Healing Look Like?

What Does Healing Look Like?

In this episode, Amy answers the question, 'what does healing really look like?' With so much misinformation online, Amy discusses the nuances on the topic of trauma healing. Tune in to hear her debunk myths, identify misconceptions and educate you further on what works, what doesn't, what is clickbait online and what the overall truth is about healing from trauma!


  • Myths, misconceptions + misguided information about trauma healing.
  • Will safe people and environments trigger you?
  • Does being alone (or single) safeguard you from pain?
  • Will you still get triggered after trauma?
  • What will trigger you after trauma? Understanding trauma triggers.
  • Therapy? What works and what doesn't.
  • + much more!

If these podcast episodes are educating, entertaining and providing you value, please take a moment to leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify! For access to Amy's resources, downloads and on-demand courses, go to .

Aug 01, 202358:57
Kute Blackson: Self-Trust, Freedom + The Magic of Surrender

Kute Blackson: Self-Trust, Freedom + The Magic of Surrender

Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidents’ Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose.


- Kute's personal journey to becoming an inspirational speaker + transformational teacher.

- the importance of self-trust.

- choosing your authentic truth over the plan someone else mapped out for you.

- difficult conversations (with parents).

- how following the nudging of your soul brings freedom!

- a balanced + nuanced look at what surrendering is.

- choosing to view life as a miracle in spite of hardships.

- Kute's book, "The Magic of Surrender" + what you can expect from it!


Purchase your copy of Kute's book, The Magic of Surrender on Amazon:

Check out how to work with Kute at

Check out Kute's Bali Breakthrough Experience at SOCIAL MEDIA: Facebook:





Jul 25, 202349:24
Being “The Mature One”

Being “The Mature One”

Amy discusses the feelings that arise when you feel you always have to be the bigger person and what to do when you start feeling resentment, anger, annoyance with others. She offers real life examples and gives key steps to take to support yourself when you’re constantly growing but others aren’t in your life!
Jul 18, 202344:29
Jul 11, 202352:37
Are Triggers Caused By Others?

Are Triggers Caused By Others?

Amy sits down to discuss how trauma and triggers are created and if it is in fact by other people! She deconstructs how to tell the difference between if your trauma is being triggered or if the person and the behavior is actually harmful to you.


- how trauma and triggers are created

- why we cope by blaming others

- healthier ways to cope

- how to tell the difference between if it's your trauma being triggered or it's actually harmful behavior.

- why we find it easier to blame others

- how to stop swinging the pendulum too far one way with binary ways of thinking and coping.

- childhood trauma becoming adulthood trauma

- the supportive tools you need for your triggers and your coping

Jun 30, 202345:06
Parental Modeling

Parental Modeling

Amy discusses the impact a parent or guardian’s modeling has on their children. How we aren’t just influenced by how we’re treated, but also by how those adults treat themselves and others.

This episode discusses:

- Emotional neglect, immaturity, abuse

- Parental modeling

- Generational trauma

- Breaking generational patterns

- Common mistakes and flawed beliefs about childhood trauma.

- Personal stories from Amy's life and how she copes and has healed.

If you enjoyed this episode or past episodes of Connect The Dots B*tch, leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify to let us know! If this episode helped you, share it with a friend!

Jun 20, 202338:46
Post Traumatic Growth

Post Traumatic Growth

Amy shares about her personal growth after reflecting on her recent vacation. She tells stories about what she’s previously struggled with, offers insights into enhancing your communication and self-awareness and discusses extending others grace!
Jun 14, 202349:50
Shiadanni: A Fusion of Pain, Growth and Healing Through Creative Expression
May 30, 202301:01:24
Seek To Understand, Not Attack

Seek To Understand, Not Attack

Amy gets curious about people's reactions, judgments and attacks on others and offers her insights, observations and thoughts as to what drives that behavior. She discusses the importance of managing your own thoughts, behaviors and feelings and being responsible for what you put out into the world. If you struggle with unleashing your emotions on others or have someone in your life who does this, this episode is for you!

This episode discusses:
- Emotional mismanagement
- Mental/emotional boundaries
- Emotional maturity
- Productive, healthy ways to navigate people's unnecessary projections/reactions
May 23, 202354:59
The Challenge of Mental + Emotional Boundaries

The Challenge of Mental + Emotional Boundaries

Amy discusses the challenges of setting and upholding those silent parameters you adhere to in your own mind and heart. The difficulties of working with thoughts and feelings versus tangible feedback when setting boundaries can be a huge challenge for highly sensitive individuals, empaths and trauma survivors. Listen as Amy shares her own personal struggles with mental and emotional boundaries and how she's learned and still learning to uphold them for herself!

Episode discusses:
- Mental + Emotional Boundaries
- Being highly sensitive
- Why most people struggle with 'unseen' boundaries.
- How to 'mind your business' and not allow other people's struggles to consume you.

If you're enjoying Connect The Dots B*tch, please leave a 5-start review on Apple or Spotify and click Subscribe!
May 16, 202338:51
Deison Afualo: Body Neutrality, Having Supportive Family, Breakups + Her 'Thank You Next' Era

Deison Afualo: Body Neutrality, Having Supportive Family, Breakups + Her 'Thank You Next' Era

Deison Afualo is a talented and entertaining LGBTQ+ influencer who has made a name for herself on both Instagram and TikTok with her comedic rants and daily vlogs. Along with her sister Drew Afualo, she hosts a comedy podcast called "Two Idiot Girls," where they react to hilarious and embarrassing stories submitted by fans. Deison was also part of the highly successful "Two Idiot Girls Tour," where they sold out over 350 tickets per show. Her quick wit, humor, and relatable content have made her a popular figure among her followers and fans.

- growing up in a healthy, supportive family environment
- how mental health struggles aren't always rooted in childhood
- navigating a breakup
- being in her 'Thank You Next' Era
- mental health struggles
- body neutrality + healing the relationship to your body
- practical steps for improving your self-esteem and self-worth
- what a successful, supportive family does to maintain their connection
- setting boundaries around social media and the harm of media consumption

Deison will be attending VidCon 2023 as a speaker in June! Hear her speak and have a chance to meet her by grabbing your ticket to VidCon here:

STREAM 'Two Idiot Girls' Podcast:
STREAM 'Two Hot Takes' Podcast:

May 09, 202353:18
Rebuilding Self-Trust

Rebuilding Self-Trust

In this week's episode, Amy deconstructs self-trust. She asks you to reflect on if you ever really had trust in yourself to begin with? Were you truly connected to the choices you were making in life and understanding of their value or were you disconnected and choosing what was modeled and taught to you. If you've ever felt a lack of self-trust or are trying to rebuild trust with yourself (or with others), this episode is for you! For more support on identifying your values and rebuilding that self-trust, as mentioned in the episode, enroll in: The Course for Trauma Survivors Setting Boundaries | This episode discusses self-trust, trust issues, healthy boundaries, childhood trauma, parenting, self-neglect, and rebuilding trust with others.

Apr 25, 202346:31
Noble Gibbens: Emotionally Clueless to EQ Gangster

Noble Gibbens: Emotionally Clueless to EQ Gangster

Amy invites her first-ever guest to the podcast! Noble is the person you'd least expect to be talking about feelings & emotions! An uncharacteristic fight with his wife a few years ago revealed a glaring issue: he was clueless when it came to handling his emotions.This West Point grad & former Army Ranger in the 82nd Airborne Division is now an EQ Practitioner and teaches Emotional Intelligence on his highly rated podcast, EQ Gangster, in his EQ Mafia Membership and through corporate coaching & consulting.Don't let the big beard & tattoos fool you - Noble is pure positive energy & passion! He brings 23 years' experience as an entrepreneur and international keynote speaker to help corporate clients, entrepreneurs, leaders & influencers get their emotions working for them, not against them. THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: - healing from a people pleasing addiction - navigating the emotional transition as a parent as your child grows up - breaking generational trauma patterns - modeling, honoring and intentionally pushing your child's boundaries in a controlled environment - how boundaries are a form of emotional-management - the value of Noble's APED method - how emotions left unacknowledged will compound over time - "if you can name the emotion, you can tame the emotion." - Noble's top 3 supportive gestures in marriage and parenting LEARN MORE FROM NOBLE: EQ Mafia - a safe, supportive, encouraging, equipping community of people all working on their emotional fitness together, in community. CONNECT WITH NOBLE: - IG: - LINKEDIN: - FB: - YouTube:
Apr 18, 202301:18:29
Trauma Triggers While In The Healthy Relationship

Trauma Triggers While In The Healthy Relationship

In this final episode of season 6, Amy discusses what isn’t often talked about, navigating the trauma triggers while IN the healthy relationship. She riffs on her own dating and relationship journey, how triggers suddenly emerge and shares how her and her partner tackle them together. Tune in and take notes for this value-packed season finale! Leave a 5-star review if you’re enjoying the pod and make sure to subscribe to not miss out on the new format with GUESTS for Season 7 coming this April!
Mar 28, 202301:33:07
Small Problems to Big Problems

Small Problems to Big Problems

Amy discusses the importance of actions and words aligning, what happens when they don’t and how that can feel and what that can ultimately turn into for a trauma survivor. She shares Mexico updates, her new hobby, mental/emotional boundaries when you’re a highly sensitive person and more!
Mar 14, 202341:21
Your Brain is Hardwired For The Negative

Your Brain is Hardwired For The Negative

In this episode, Amy is chats about her nervous system and what still activates it. The value of having new experiences, the importance of not placing a timeline on feeling safe or how far along you are in your healing. And she offers up a huge communication hack right at the end of the episode! Tune in and be sure to leave a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify if you’re enjoying these episodes.
Mar 07, 202301:01:28
What Growth Looks Like
Feb 28, 202301:00:36
Be Kind To Your Nervous System

Be Kind To Your Nervous System

Amy shares the importance of understanding your nervous system and why it’s feeling dysregulated. She offers you valuable advice to enhance your self-awareness and somatic connection on healing, balance, reconnecting to your body, and her personal thoughts on copying what works for others. If you enjoyed this episode and others, be sure to leave a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify!
Feb 21, 202344:56
Whose Voice Is That?

Whose Voice Is That?

Amy shares her new realizations with you from her own personal growth journey and, did someone say tattoo?! They just might have! She also talks about why trauma survivors struggle with self-trust and feel disconnected from their own inner voice while offering you the steps to take to tap into yours. Are you constantly asking yourself what’s healthy or not? Is this a green flag or not? Then this episode is for you! And be sure to leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify if you’re enjoying these episodes!
Feb 07, 202352:34
The Foundation of a Safe Relationship

The Foundation of a Safe Relationship

Amy discusses what needs to be mutually desired within a relationship for a foundation of safety to be built. She shares her real life examples from safe and unsafe relationships, the emotions we attach to safety and what action steps you can take today to begin cultivating safety within your relationships! If you’re enjoying these episodes be sure to leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify and share what you love about the podcast so others can subscribe and listen too.
Jan 31, 202353:40
Identifying Your Trauma Triggers

Identifying Your Trauma Triggers

In this episode, Amy helps you learn how to identify your trauma triggers so life stops feeling like a minefield for you. She shares about how she manages some of her biggest triggers, what’s unfair to expect from others in dealing with your triggers and the steps you can take today to feel more in control of it all! If you’re enjoying these episodes, don’t forget to leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify and let us know who you’d love for her to interview in upcoming episodes.
Jan 24, 202337:43
The Stigma of Anger

The Stigma of Anger

Amy discusses the stigmatization of anger and why this emotion makes so many people uncomfortable. She shares her struggles with anger over the years, and offers guidance on how to not mismanage it!
Jan 17, 202357:02
Trauma Triggers I Healed After Entering a Safe Relationship

Trauma Triggers I Healed After Entering a Safe Relationship

Amy expands on a recent Instagram post (@amythelifecoach) and shares more about how she didn’t plan or prepare for the future, trust herself or know she feared abandonment until AFTER she entered a safe, supportive relationship. She discusses how not everything can be healed BEFORE having new, safe experiences and exactly what she did to move through them in her personal life! Episode discusses self-rejection, toxic relationships, building self-trust, how to navigate limiting beliefs, abandonment fears and upholding boundaries.
Jan 10, 202301:02:02
The Boundaries My Partner Sets with Me, a Trauma Survivor

The Boundaries My Partner Sets with Me, a Trauma Survivor

Amy shares about the boundaries her partner sets with her in their relationship and how they not only support (him) but also her in moving through her emotional trauma. Episode includes discussion of Personal Accountability, Supportive Communication, Co-Regulation, Safe Relationships, Upholding Boundaries.
Jan 03, 202351:14
Moving Through The Triggers + Healing The Wounds

Moving Through The Triggers + Healing The Wounds

Amy shares her real life triggers from the holiday weekend and how she regulated, responded and moved through them. She discusses the importance of your Input and Output of energy and it’s impact on your nervous system. She closes this final episode of the year by sharing a HUGE full circle healing moment in her own life with you! Episode includes discussion on nervous system regulation, relationship healing, childhood trauma healing, coping and self-soothing, co-regulation and more.
Dec 27, 202201:11:34
Cultivating An Honest Relationship

Cultivating An Honest Relationship

Amy discusses what goes into creating an honest relationship with others and with yourself. She offers you reflective exercises and action steps you can start taking today! Episode includes these additional topics: boundary setting, identifying behaviors you value, self-honesty and what that involves you to work on, personal stories from Amy relating to topics.
Dec 20, 202245:24
Setting Realistic Expectations Around Emotional Healing

Setting Realistic Expectations Around Emotional Healing

In this episode, Amy answers the questions “How long will this take,” “When will I feel better,” and “Why does it keep coming up for me?” She gives you a real, raw, honest look at what the emotional healing process looks like for different people! Episode discusses realistic timelines, therapeutic abuse of power, enabling, integrative healing, personal accountability + much more!
Dec 13, 202255:12
Turning Your Pain Into Power

Turning Your Pain Into Power

In this episode, Amy tells you how she mentally, emotionally and physically moves through the situations and events that trigger her, hurt her and anger her. She walks you through her personal mindset and why it’s gifted her freedom from many abusive and traumatic situations in her life.
Dec 06, 202255:06
Family Obligations + Holiday Challenges
Nov 30, 202249:38
Peaceful Influences + Overstepped Boundaries

Peaceful Influences + Overstepped Boundaries

Amy has subscribed to a new mindset in life but is also not immune to the struggles that exist in boundary setting with difficult people. She shares some (recent) personal stories about making excuses for certain people we love and how to stop! Episode includes topics on Boundaries with family, Breached Boundaries, Self-Respect, Trauma Recovery, Mindset Shifts, Gaslighting, Confidence & Authenticity.
Nov 22, 202258:46
Lessons I Learned After Trauma

Lessons I Learned After Trauma

Amy expands on a recent social media post she shared about the lessons she has learned in life and her relationships after trauma and abuse. She digs into more context, nuance and the ‘meat’ of these experiences! Episode discusses Friendship, Accountability, Nervous System Regulation, Childhood Trauma, Toxic Relationships, Changing Behavior Patterns & much more!
Nov 15, 202252:46
Are You Doing To Others What You Don’t Want Done To You?

Are You Doing To Others What You Don’t Want Done To You?

Amy has a bone to pick with hypocrites this week and she let’s you in on how to self-examine and make sure your actions and words are aligned with what you say you value do you’re not being one too! Episode discusses Social Media & Mental Health, Boundary Setting, Hypocritical Behavior, Emotional Intelligence, Friendships/Relationships, Conscious Living.
Nov 08, 202249:58
The Formula For Finding Balance
Nov 01, 202235:38
Examining The Environmental Triggers
Oct 25, 202243:13
The Anatomy of Insecurity
Oct 18, 202245:52
The Lost Pieces of Your Inner Child
Oct 11, 202227:26
Perfectionism + Self-Doubt
Oct 04, 202238:56
The Missing Step That’s Keeping You Stuck

The Missing Step That’s Keeping You Stuck

Amy discusses the missing step that almost everyone gets stuck at in the process changing a pattern in your life or relationships. This episode also discusses the root cause of projection and how to integrate the information you’ve learned from the social media accounts and self help books you follow!
Jul 26, 202241:39