Miscarriage Stories with Arden Cartrette

*SENSITIVE NOTE* This episode contains really difficult details and conversations surrounding sexual abuse and the transgender community. If you have the space to listen to Alex's story, please do. You can also save it for another day or time, whenever you're ready.

Alex (he/him) joins Arden today to share the story of experiencing a miscarriage 10 years ago, prior to transitioning as a transgender male. Not only was Alex struggling with his identity but he was also sexually abused which led to a pregnancy that was both feared and in a way, wanted. Alex really opens up in this episode and shares how language has affected him as he's transgender and what grief has looked like for the last 10 years.

Female filmmaker, Rakefet Abergel, who was personally traumatized by pregnancy loss, released a trailer and accompanying music video of an original song from her short film “Still” in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month.

“Still” is a moving psychological thriller short film, now entering the film festival circuit, meant to honor all mothers and families who experience infant loss at any stage. Abergel received production support from Joel Zwick (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) and Jory Weitz (Napoleon Dynamite).

Rebecca and her husband are newly married as of July 2022 and didn’t plan to have children right away due to being in grad school. Her mind changed suddenly and they started trying to conceive.

In December 2022 she learned that she was pregnant with her daughter, Hadley. Throughout the first trimester, every ultrasound and appointment went well. Rebecca also had NIPT testing and everything came back normal without any concerns.

During the a diagnostic ultrasound, Rebecca saw that her daughter looked great and was moving around on the screen. When she sat down with the doctor, she immediately knew that something wasn’t right. The doctor sat down and started talking about what they were looking at on the ultrasound and pointed out that there was increased fluid behind Hadley’s neck which was a big concern.

Following that ultrasound, she was given a few options which were to do nothing or to do the CVS procedure. Rebecca and her husband did the CVS procedure and found it to be a difficult procedure due to a tilted uterus which resulted in a smaller sample and a longer wait time for results. In the meantime, they saw an MFM doctor where they learned about other concerns.

A month after having the CVS procedure, she finally heard the results an dit was confirmed that Hadley was missing a 13th chromosome.

Learning about her daughters quality of life was difficult and led her to make the difficult decision to go through with a termination of pregnancy.

At 18 weeks, Rebecca had a D&E procedure. She was given a copy of Hadley’s footprints and had her cremated.

A month following her D&E, Rebecca learned that she was pregnant for the second time which was a surprise. She is currently 18 weeks pregnant and did have a lot of testing and procedures to make sure that her second child was healthy.

Madison joins Arden to discuss her journey with recurrent pregnancy loss including the unexpected loss of twins (mono-mono) and how she's navigated grief especially as she is pregnant again after loss.

Discussed in this episode:

• High-risk twin pregnancy and loss
• Chemical pregnancies
• Anxiety in pregnancy after loss
• Trauma related to missed miscarriages
• Benefits of our support groups

Carmen joins Arden to discuss her experience with 11 pregnancies, many of which sadly ended in loss. She experienced "chemical" pregnancies, missed miscarriages, early losses, and termination for medical reasons along with having living children between her losses. Carmen wrote a book that was created from her journal entries over the course of 5 years of her fertility journey. If you struggle with recurrent pregnancy loss -- this is a great episode to listen to.

On this episode of Miscarriage Stories, we hear from Brooke who experienced two losses AFTER having her three-year-old son. Loss after living children always comes as a shock because you expect the same outcome from the first pregnancy but when her second pregnancy was a blighted ovum (missed miscarriage) and then her third was a molar pregnancy, she was devastated to say the least. She shares her journey through loss, grief, and what comes next.

Linsey shares her heartbreaking story through recurrent pregnancy loss including missed miscarriage and termination for medical reasons. She's been on a journey through IVF and bravely shares the reality of life after loss and IVF after loss.

Linn joins Arden all the way from Sweden to share the devastating journey she's had through recurrent pregnancy loss. She shares how navigating the medical system has been difficult and how she's coped with six miscarriages.

Alex shares her heartbreaking experience of miscarriage at home right before an ultrasound at 13 weeks. She shares the things that she wishes doctors would mention to women who were experiencing pregnancy loss and what loss has looked like for her.

Allissa joins the podcast to share her journey through a first trimester loss years after she had an elective abortion during an abusive relationship. She shares what grief has looked like for her as she's navigated life after loss and being a nurse.

Katie, an end-of-life doula in the UK joins the podcast to share her experience with two first trimester miscarriages. She shares her experience having two miscarriages at home after having birth trauma from her first living child and how complicated life after trauma can be but how healing looks for her.

Stephanie, who is one of the incredible doulas on Arden's team at The Miscarriage Doula comes on the show to share her journey through pregnancy loss in the second trimester. After her water broke at 19 weeks, she details her terrible experience giving birth and grieving her daughter. Arden and Stephanie also discuss pregnancy after loss in this episode!

The Miscarriage Doula provides 1:1 and group support for women living life after loss.

Kirsten joins Arden to share her story with pregnancy loss, PCOS, struggling to conceive after loss, and a struggle with her mental health as she grieved.

SHOP KIRSTEN'S BOOKS:

Sunita Osborn, author of The Miscarriage Map, joins Arden to share her personal journey with recurrent pregnancy loss, grief, and pregnancy after loss. She shares how she wrote two books over the course of the last few years and the inspiration for them being her miscarriages.

Her new book, “Self-ish: When Bubble Baths, Wine and Positive Affirmations Aren’t Cutting It” is a deep dive into the concept of selfishness that empowers women to unapologetically nurture themselves through exploration of essential, but often misunderstood psychological concepts such as self-love, self-care, self-respect, and selfish.

Purchase her books:

Natalie shares her journey of the loss of her baby at 12 weeks pregnant, giving birth at home, and coping with the grief and fear of what her future would hold. She does share that she went on to get pregnant again and welcomed her living daughter!

WORK WITH ARDEN + HER TEAM:

Jessi opens up about her fertility journey and shares about an abortion that she had as a teenager, recurrent pregnancy loss years later, to needing IVF to get pregnant with her son. After her son was born and she felt ready to try for a sibling, she and her partner adopted five embryos and are currently on the journey of waiting to transfer an embryo this summer!

Kelly Jean-Philippe, the host and founder of Welcome To Fatherhood, a podcast and resource for men in the fatherhood space. He walks us through his experience with recurrent pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss alongside his partner and the differences they faced as they grieved multiple pregnancies.

Nicky and her husband started trying to conceive shortly after getting married but she never got a period after coming off birth control. After seeing a fertility specialized five months after coming off birth control, her doctor did genetic tested she learned they carried a genetic disorder that would make IVF their next step. Nicky then shares about her twin pregnancy that ended in loss and the grief she’s battled since her loss.

Xenia joins us from England to share her story of recurrent secondary loss. Following the pregnancy and birth of her first child, she and her partner started struggling with recurrent pregnancy loss and are still in the thick of their journey.

TAGS: SECONDARY LOSS, SECONDARY MISCARRIAGE, RECURRENT MISCARRIAGES, RECURRENT PREGNANCY LOSS, MISCARRIAGE, EARLY PREGNANCY UNIT, UK MISCARRIAGE

20 year old Ava shares her experience of an unexpected pregnancy where she learned that there were three gestational sacs which resulted in one vanishing pregnancy and conjoined twins.

TAGS: SPOTTING IN PREGNANCY, UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, TWIN PREGNANCY LOSS, TRIPLET PREGNANCY LOSS, PREGNANCY LOSS, FIRST TRIMESTER MISCARRIAGE

Today Arden reads Krista and Michelle's email where they sent in their experience with pregnancy loss. Krista experiences secondary loss and a second trimester loss while Michelle experiences two back-to-back miscarriages on her SMBC (single mom by choice) journey.

Olivia shares her experience with pregnancy loss and describes the pain of experiencing the loss of a baby she didn't know she wanted. Then, in an open conversation about not knowing if she wanted kids, getting pregnant unexpectedly, and getting excited about the pregnancy only to experience a miscarriage -- it's an excellent episode for you!

Emma shares her experience with her first pregnancy that ended with her living son who was born at 34 weeks gestation after many complications and an emergency c-section. When she wanted to expand her family and have another living child, she experienced two miscarriages and details them for the community in this episode. *We apologize for background noise and dog barks!

We're changing our name but not the show!

Olivia shares her experience with getting pregnant unexpectedly and thinking that she didn't want children prior to being pregnant. Then she experiences a missed miscarriage and while she knew it was possible, she felt crushed by the experience. Listen to this vulnerable and raw take on pregnancy loss.

Lauren from the Mental Push Plan shares her personal experience with miscarriage and the meaning behind her company with her friend Carolyn which supports women in their pregnancy journey along with grief journey following pregnancy loss.

-------------------

Alexis shares her story of pregnancy loss with her daughter, Aubreigh, who was diagnosed with Turner's Syndrome, High Drops, and a heart defect. Following these diagnoses, she had to make the most compassionate and difficult decision that a mother has to make. Alexis' story includes mention of termination for medical reasons, details of her D&E, and more from her second trimester loss.

Heidi joins Arden to share her miscarriage experience on today's episode of The Miscarriage Doula Podcast. Following two living children ages 4 and 2 years old, Heidi and her husband decided to grow their family further and have a third child. When they went in to the first ultrasound and learned that the pregnancy may not be progressing, they were given their options and Heidi moved forward with taking Cytotec/Misoprostol. Heidi is sharing her story just weeks after her loss in an attempt to find community and healing.

-----------------

Hailey is from Missoula, Montana and has had an ectopic pregnancy along with three first trimester miscarriages. She shares her story through loss, medical care, and where she's at today.

Anna is the co-founder of Tilly, an online community and app for people on their fertility journey. As they say on their website, it's "fertility support in your pocket" as it offers cycle tracking, community, courses, expert articles, and more. Today, Anna joins the podcast to share her personal journey with recurrent pregnancy loss which included two first trimester losses and two TFMR (termination for medical reasons) losses during the second trimester.

Angela shares her journey through two miscarriages within the past year. The first happening on her delayed honeymoon in Belize followed by a consecutive loss not long after the first.

Jessica shares her devastating experience with preterm labor and the birth of her daughter, Berkley. After having one living child who was 2.5 years old at the time of her loss and an uncomplicated pregnancy, she wasn’t expecting to go into labor right before 18 weeks.

Shanna, a Chicago lawyer, shares her experience with two devastating miscarriages. The first being an ectopic pregnancy and the second a first trimester loss. This conversation covers the emotional trauma of pregnancy loss, the importance of storytelling, and the importance of detecting an ectopic pregnancy as soon as possible.

Amanda comes on to share about her daughter, Juniper "Junie" who was stillborn in 2018. Following the death of her first daughter she started advocacy work with Measure The Placenta where she fights for and with women to add measuring the placenta as a standard of care in pregnancy. In this episode we hear about Amanda's experience with losing her daughter, why measuring the placenta is important, how a placenta can be measured, and what MTP offers to support loss moms.

Caroline is an energy healer in Zurich, Switzerland. She openly shares her experience through a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks pregnant and as someone who is spiritual and feels energies, how that played a part in her ability to cope with the loss of her son.

Christine shares her fertility journey through struggling to get pregnant with her first living child, a daughter, and then a surprising pregnancy of another daughter. Then as she was pregnant with her third child, a boy, she learned that she had a vanishing twin followed by a loss during the second trimester. She describes her story as “one filled with hope and trust and God and resilience”

Melissa met her husband while living in the Netherlands and wanted to start a family with him. Her first pregnancy happening around the time of her COVID-style wedding, her second happening soon after the first pregnancy ended, and then her third pregnancy throwing her for a loop — she shares it all in this episode.

*CORRECTION: In the episode, Melissa mentions that her baby was diagnosed with Down Syndrome and then referred to it as Trisomy 18 when it's Trisomy 21

Samantha shares her journey with multiple fatal diagnoses (hydrops fetalis linked to down syndrome, skin edema, and plural ascites) followed by a second trimester miscarriage. She discusses learning about the diagnoses along with the labor & delivery experience with her daughter, Cecilia.

Connect with Samantha on Instagram: @rozeetuh
Follow TMD: @themiscarriagedoula

Jen openly and bravely shares her journey through experiencing a miscarriage during the height of COVID where she also got sick and lost her brother from the virus all within a matter of mothers.