Bangers & ClassicsFeb 27, 2021
Christmas GLXi Edition
It's the Bangers & Classics Christmas podcast, featuring some sparkling (it says here – not that anyone will believe it) chat about films, film music, and cars.
There's also news about the quiz. News which, it has to be said, proved to be wrong, thereby forcing the lads to step away from the delights of the B&C Christmas Party and make a last-minute correction.
We'll be back in 2023 if James and David have recovered from the party by then.
Unexpected Q-car Quiz
Reports of our demise have been greatly exaggerated (by us, it has to be said), yet here we are. And to mark our return it gives us great pleasure (it says here) to present the Bangers & Classics Quiz.
The rules are simple. There are twenty questions (unless we've contrived to get the numbers wrong, always a distinct possibility). Your job is to answer them and thereafter send your answers by Direct Message to the Bangers & Classics twitter account, @BangersClassics.
We're counting on you to do this, as we're stumped by quite a few of the questions and need all the help we can get.
If you get the outright highest score then you win a prize and we'll also give a prize to a runner-up (selected by lucky dip if there's no outright runner-up).
In the event that more than one person achieves the highest score then we'll select two prize-winners by lucky dip.
Each prize winner can choose between either a Bangers & Classics mug OR any one of the currently available books written by James or David.
You've got until midnight on 7th December, 2022, to submit your entry. Prize-winners will be notified by Direct Message on 8th December.
The judges's decision is final etc.
A penny for the Guy Otter
After their close shave on Halloween (not literally, to James's great relief), the intrepid (it says here) duo offer their unique take on Guy Fawkes' Night.
But will this episode sparkle or just be a bit of a damp squib?
Contains an excerpt from: 'After the Rain' by Keys of Moon (https://soundcloud.com/keysofmoon), used under under a Creative Commons 4.0 licence (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) and promoted by https://chosic.com/free-music/all/
A classic Halloween with a few bangs...
It's Halloween and the B&C crew are on the road, doing their utmost to avoid witches, warlocks, ghouls, ghosts, and vampires. But it's not just politicians whom they must flee: enraged owners clubs, jealous admirers of Hammer Horror actresses, and EV advocates all want their pound (454 grammes for those working in metric) of flesh too.
Undaunted, our dynamic (it says here) duo's journey takes them to dark places where people speak in hushed tones of the uncanny, the unfeasible, and the impossible.
Will they make it to their journey's end or will they, in the words of Rabbie Burns, be caught by warlocks in the mirk by Alloway's auld haunted kirk?
B&C Newsflash - Halloween Pod 2022
As you huddle round the fire, clinging to its warmth and light for comfort as the veil between this world and the one beyond becomes ever more fragile, you'll be glad to know that the daring B&C duo have ventured forth into the darkness, braving all that lurks in the shadows for your entertainment.
They will return (we hope) on Halloween itself.
Finding themselves in 1975, David having legged it from 1972 after being made an offer he couldn't refuse and James having been, er, coaxed away from Hammer Horror actresses, the duo dive into the year's cars, music and films.
Their verdict: we're gonna need a bigger podcast.
Dracula 72 - Fiat 126
In this, the 83rd episode of Bangers & Classics, James and David take a wild on the wild side...in 1972.
Whilst doing their best to avoid a bloke with big teeth and a cape (no, not the one who wants his dishwasher back...), they tackle the thorny question that's long been on everyone's lips (it says here): is the Fiat 126 a Banger or a Classic.
There's controversy, too, as David disses a film regarded by many people as a classic as well as having a pop at one of Britain's best-loved cars. And to cap a typically erratic appearance on the pod, he manages to enter a car from the wrong decade in the challenge.
James, meantime, gets on his bike in search of a certain actress. We'll leave it to you to work out which one. We're sure he'll be fine as long as he keeps clear of disused churches and Triumph Stags.
48 Hours in a BMW 3 Series
In this Federal bumper-sized edition of Bangers & Classics, James and David travel back to 1982 – a year about which David has mixed feelings. [We're not saying it concerns a girl, but...it concerns a girl.]
Be that as it may, this week's choice of car to face the Banger or Classic inquisitors proves somewhat divisive. The challenge throws up (not literally – well, we hope not) a real curio, though perhaps it's better left in the 'lost, thank goodness' file.
There's also much chat about music and films, the latter of which includes a surprising revelation. What is it? Well, you'll have to listen to find out...
Commer Spacevan Scoundrels
Returning after a much lauded two week break, James and David travel back to 1960. They'd have stayed there too but for an incident involving James's beard, a Routemaster bus, and David's attempt to persuade a young Geoff Hurst that he wasn't really cut out to be a footballer...
Elsewhere, an unusual subject is hauled into the Bangers & Classics courtroom, there's a challenge, and much chat about films and music.
Slave to the Fiat Ritmo
In this, the 80th episode of Bangers & Classics, James and David zip back to 1978, home of some good music and great films.
Whilst there, and in between bouts of James strutting his funky stuff (it says here) on the dancefloor, they decide if the Fiat Ritmo has sufficiently street cred (or should that be Strada cred?) to be considered a classic.
There's also a challenge, one which sees James attempt to claim victory on a technicality, and the inaugural motor show at the NEC gets a visit. Which leaves just one burning question: did they pay on the door or sneak in through the fire exit?
Vauxhall Cavalier Fashion
We have come here to podcast and chew bubblegum, and we're all out of bubblegum...
Yup, it's 1988, and we're here to decide if it's a banger or a classic. Along the way, the 3rd generation Vauxhall Cavalier faces the jury, we search for a boring car, and James attends a Christmas Party at Nakatomi Plaza in his new vest.
Let's all live in a Triumph 2000
In this episode the boys reluctantly trudge back to the year 2000, a year filled with great, er, um, ah, let me think about that one.
Hmmm. More thinking time required...
Two Mavericks do 1986
Episode 77 sees our resident time-travelling mavericks return to 1986. Whilst there, they argue about the merits of a John Carpenter film, give the Volvo 480 the once over, and seek out interesting coupes to buy. Also, James pretends never to have heard one of finest songs of the 1980s but shows great interest in (it says here) either costume jewellery or an all-girl band.
Two Punks do 1976
The rumour: Bangers & Classics has a new format
The official comment (by B&C spokesgeezer Harry Callahan) : "Podcasts? They're for assholes..."
Time for Audi TT?
Exhausted by their previous lack of effort, the lads nonetheless draw deep from their energy wells (who writes this stuff?) to bring you the 75th episode of Bangers & Classics - an all expense spared extravaganza that's an avatar for all that this podcast stands for (it says here).
And that, we suppose, is an appropriate time to tell you that next week's episode will adopt a new format. Unless, of course, we change our minds.
Ford Sapphire and Rusty Steel
In spite of having to work with an idiot, James has dipped deep into his reserves of Zen and decided not to storm off in huff...
Consequently, he and the aforementioned idiot return with more half-baked opinions, dubious statistics, and controversial conclusions.
In this week's episode, the Bangers & Classics jury decides whether the Sierra Sapphire is a diamond in the rough...or just rough; tribute is paid to Paddy Hopkirk; James deliberately misunderstands the task set by this week's challenge; and the last pre-Fiat Alfa finds itself in the DangerZone.
The Betty Ford XR3 Clinic
Having extended their world record for shambolic podcasting to 72 episodes, James and David return with yet another low-fi episode.
Having clashed over the Golf GTI, the duo attempt to patch things up by buying a motorhome for the Bangers & Classics summer tour. But will this feeble attempt at reconciliation work, or is it curtains for B&C?
Elsewhere, David rambles on about a cult 1980s film, the Fiat 127 finds itself in the DangerZone, and Reliant is the subject of a typically poorly researched potted history.
ROVER BRM, BRM, BRM
After the shambles of the previous 71 episodes, James and David are back with a whole new approach, as evidenced by this episode's hard-hitting topics, which may include some, all or none of the following:
Why don't manufacturers fit toasters to cars?
Who invented liquid soap, and why?
Did David really suggest that his local council replace rubbish skips with Mazda MX-5s?
Elsewhere, we select an official nautical anthem for Bangers & Classics, talk about some abandoned ideas, issue a public information bulletin, buy a ridiculously opulent car, and try to drum up some enthusiasm for the FSO Polonez. Oh, and the Banger or Classic jury decides whether or not the Rover 200 BRM is a gas.
Noddy's Nissan Micra
In this episode of Bangers & Classics, the EV is launched, James falls in love with a Goddess, David proves that he has an 8-track mind, the Nissan Micra is summoned from Toyland to the Banger or Classic courtroom, the Simca 1100 takes the highway to the Danger Zone, and David finds a car with a John Carpenter reference.
Citroen Dyane Ross
In this, the 70th episode of Bangers and Classics, David responds in typical fashion to a grumble about the running time of episode 69, the Suzuki Vitara drives across hills, moors and streams to appear before the Banger or Classic jury, the lads present their ideas for alternative forms of energy before heading back to the gritty streets of the Isle of Dogs circa 1985. And to top off a fuller podcast (Mr. Corrugated, please note) than episode 69, they each scour the classifieds for the ugliest car they can find.
They'll grow up one day. Possibly...
[Sorry about the sound quality. Again. We're moving to another provider with immediate effect.]
Nissan 100NX Hut
After the drama, debauchery and discord of last week's Awards Show, James and David are back with more nonsense. Is the Chrysler Crossfire a banger or a classic, what cars will the lads take to a posh concours d'elegance, and what prompts David to say, “Come back, MX-5; all is forgiven”?
Only one way to find out...
The Bangers & Classics Awards 2022
A very special episode, this one, for it contains full and exclusive coverage of THE antisocial (shurely shome mishtake...) event of the year: the Bangers & Classics Awards. The coveted (it says here) awards dished out reputedly include those for: Best Unofficial Steve McQueen Replica Jacket, Most Influential You Tube Channel For People Who Sit On Their Brains, and Best MX-5 Breaker's Yard.
There's also coverage from the inaugural Bangers & Classics Car Show and instructions on how to remove stubborn stains from your jacket.
Can't Get No Renault Vel Satisfaction...
In this exciting (it says here) instalment of Bangers & Classics, the Renault Vel Satis is dragged out of obscurity and into the B&C courtroom, the lads agree to help source vehicles for a land-based remake of 'Those Magnificent Men and Their Flying Machines', join forces to plead the Alfa Romeo 164's case, and go off in search of hybrid cars – guess what James 'bought'...
Oh, and there's also news of the year's most exciting awards ceremony...
A Ford Streetka Named...
In this week's exciting (it says here) episode of Bangers & Classics, the lads try to decide whether the Ford Ka is a car or a postcode, go Back to the, er, Past, reminisce about invalid trikes, and select suitable chariots for the Festival of the Unexceptional.
Most of the really controversial stuff was edited out. Most of it...
[We apologise for the sound issues. Blame it on the software we use – we do!]
The Chrysler Neon Jungle
Regular (other sizes are available) listeners will be glad to know that James has been rescued from the clutches of a group of Hammer Horror actresses. And to celebrate his return, he and David wheel the Ford Fiesta mk.2 into the Banger or Classic courtroom. After sweeping the rust off the floor, the intrepid (it says here) duo each 'buy' a rear-engined classic, contemplate this week's Dangermobile, the Chrysler Neon, and introduce their respective riffs on 'Poldark on Mopeds'.
Yup, it's as sensible as ever...
The Lone Ranger
With James unavailable due to the rigours of being an international jet-set playboy, this episode (number 64, if you're counting) is a solo effort by David. As such, it's mercifully brief. Still, it's well worth listening to if you've never previously heard someone lose an uncontested challenge of their own creation...
Normal (or what passes for it) service will be resumed next week.
The Austin Cambridge Buskers
A special 'absolutely no preparation whatsoever' episode, episode 63 of Bangers & Classics sees the lads ramble on about the Renault Megane Cabriolet (1st generation) and Mazda RX8 whilst finding a car for 'Johnny Aculard' to drive in their forthcoming (in their heads) reboot of Dracula A.D. 1972.
Jaguar E's R Good?
Assembled at breakneck speed by our team of dedicated layabouts, we present the 62nd episode of Bangers & Classics. In this one, David goes into hiding again (for fear of getting a hiding), the Jaguar E-Type wafts languidly into the Banger or Classic courtroom, the boys look at MPVs (remember them) for sale, and the Citroen ZX finds itself in the DangerZone.
Hillman Hunter Biden's Laptop
In episode 61 of Bangers & Classics, the Hillman Hunter gets a somewhat mixed reception from the Banger or Classic jurors, the lads go back to the 80s and try to find a car for a Yuppie, and the Alfasud Sprint finds itself in the DangerZone. Oh, and James and David each engage in a little chicanery...
Fiat's Stilo-Free Zone?
In this week's edition of Bangers & Classics, the Fiat Stilo is hauled from the shadows of obscurity and into the Banger or Classic courtroom. But will it finally be vindicated or sent back to obscurity?
Speaking of obscurity, the challenge for this week sees the lads wade through fields of broken dreams and rivers of rust in search of coupe versions of 1970s British-built saloons. And when they find their respective choices, controversy ensues...
And no sooner than the dust has settled, cudgels are taken up on behalf of (or not) this week's Dangermobile, Citroen's penultimate tilt at the big car market: the beautiful but flawed XM.
Last Chance Rover 75 Saloon
In this, the 59th episode of Bangers & Classics, the ever-generous presenters have added a sprinkling of sound issues to the mix. On top of that, the Rover 75 appears before the Banger or Classic jury in its finest twinset and pearls, David tries to persuade James that the Talbot Solara is worth saving, and this week's challenge involves a hunt for a couple of shatchbacks...
Second Division GT Motoring
In this, the 58th episode of Bangers & Classics, James gets to wax lyrical about his specialist subject, David doesn't recount the time he was sent surfboard wax instead of a ring he'd bought for his wife, the Banger or Classic jury decides if the Reliant Kitten comes up to scratch, classic vans are sought out, and the 'Three Bs' are explained.
The 57 varieties of Cortina
In this, the 57th (the clue's in the title) episode of Bangers & Classics, James has not one but two quasi-supernatural sightings, David breaks the rules yet again, the Cortina mark IV stares down the Banger or Classic adjudicators, and two automotive failures (no, NOT the presenters) get their day in the sun.
A Rover for Mick Dundee
Back after a week's break, this episode sees the lads get, er, roadwise. Elsewhere, a Peugeot that was originally intended to be a Talbot finds itself in the Danger Zone, James continues his love affair with Italian cars, and David finds an X1/9 with a sunroof...
The one in which James and David indulge in their Bond fantasies, Ed Harris doesn't drive a Vectra, and there's some chat about cars which would allow James to travel with not one but two Hammer Horror actresses sitting alongside him in the front.
Suzuki Special Kei
In episode 54 of Bangers & Classics, the lads decide whether or not the Spitfire (the roadgoing one) was a Triumph or disaster, take a brief look at a Lamborghini in which you could go mud-plugging, and each set out to find an interesting Kei car for sale in the UK.
Discovery on a Shoestring
No long-winded intro today. Suffice it to say it's the 53rd episode of Bangers and Classics, and it's got to be less depressing than listening to the news.
Helge Meyer's Modded Camaro
In this, the first anniversary episode of Bangers & Classics, the remarkable story of the first Bangers & Classics hero is told, James is underwhelmed by David's choice of cars for this week's episode, David gets his own back, and the lads are joined by a special guest. Oh, and James sets his sights on another Countess...
51st Volvo 240 Estate
After last week's exertions, the lads are back with an episode that's a bit shorter in length but big on surprises. Okay, one surprise. But it's a big 'un.
Elsewhere, David tells a story about an unusual hillclimbing (or should that be hill descending?) accident, one of the duo (hint: it's James) manages to adhere to the challenge rules, and a delectable Italian finds itself in the Dangerzone.
Audi 50 Not Out...
So here it is: the 50th episode of the Bangers and Classics podcast. This one is crammed with special guests including the legendary Clin...oh, hang on.
Ah. Slight change of plans there. It seems that the 1977 Sherpa conveying the guests to the B&C HQ has, er, broken down. So it'll be James and David as usual, then.
Sorry about that.
Blue Renault Laguna
The one in which James talks about his new book, David walks slap-bang into someone famous, there's much love for Magnum Force, and a car that may have been the baddie in the preceding 'Dirty Harry' film finds itself in the Dangerzone. Elsewhere the Renault Laguna (possibly a beige one) is hauled before the Banger or Classic jury, and some more defunct motoring apparatus is discussed.
The Honda CRX Factor...
In this, the 48th (but who's counting) episode of Bangers & Classics, we find out if Honda's pocket rocket from the 1980s has the, ahem, CRX factor. James waxes lyrical about an Alvis Parsley (I think that's the right name – this handwriting is harder to decipher than hieroglyphics) film and there's much chat about biscuits. Elsewhere, fresh from his defeat in last week's challenge, James ups the ante this week by finding an Italian car with plenty of space for golf bats whilst David's efforts to find a black phase 1 Renault 25 Turbo, and thereby become a yuppie, are frustrated.
Off the AMC Pacer...
In this action-packed episode (it says here) of Bangers & Classics, the AMC Pacer in hauled (no easy task) front of the Banger or Classic jury, Kenny sets the lads a tough challenge, a Gandini-penned car finds itself in the Danger Zone, and Hammer Horror actresses throughout the land go into hiding...
NOW that's...Audi 80
We're confused: is this the first Bangers & Classics podcast of 2022, or have we finally managed to teleport back to 1980?
Either way, the Bangers & Classics judges say 'Audi y'do' (okay, I'll get me coat) to the 80 (or, as our American friends called it, the Fox. And the 4000. Oh, and the 90). Elsewhere, there's a car that may or may not be named after a biscuit, David treats us (it says here) to a supposed fact about yellow lenses, James meets a renowned stunt driver, and a UFO drops in. In other words, it's business as usual...
Jensen and the Argocats
Gadzooks! It's the final Bangers & Classics podcast of 2021 – unless you're James, in which case it's the first of 2022...
Either way, there are predictions from Mystic Mog, the Jensen Interceptor wafts insouciantly into the Banger or Classic courtroom, and the lads each buy a car for someone they don't like.
It's the Bangers & Classics Christmas Special!
Recorded at our Christmas Party (thankfully, we managed to get it in the can before the fuzz arrived), it features special guests including gremlins (hence the poor sound quality) and a domestically appliance-challenged gentleman from Transylvania.
Amid the revelry, David narrates a ghost story, the lads buy each other a car for Christmas, try to decide if the Riley Elf is a cracker or turkey, and James addresses the nation.
The Whole Renault 9 Yards...
In this week's episode of Bangers & Classics, the lads take a final look at Christmas presents for petrolheads, David breaks the rules, James finds a classic with every conceivable extra (apart from, perhaps, a towel...), and they offer advice to a chap who's keen to avoid spending Christmas with the in-laws. Elsewhere, it's the Suzuki Jimny's turn to stand in the Banger or Classic dock, and the Renault 9 finds a new career as a Dangermobile. Sort of...
Carry on Clio
In this week's episode, David spots some Spitfires, an East Anglian antique dealer asks the lads (who are, of course, antiques themselves) for buying advice, and the Renault Clio merely shrugs its shoulders when summoned before the Banger or Classic jury. Elsewhere, there are more Christmas present suggestions, and tribute is paid to Frank Williams.
The Renault Roswell Incident
In this week's edition of Bangers & Classics, recorded at Kenny's annual classic car show picture contest, James gets in touch with an actress who appeared in Hammer Horror films and a James Bond movie. David, meanwhile, isn't at all jealous. Well, not much. Okay, a bit. Elsewhere, there's a close encounter with the latest side-splitting video from Remi Gaillard, the wall snob makes another appearance, and the Ford Orion attempts to turn in a stellar performance before the Banger or Classic jurors. There's a festive theme too, with more helpful (it says here) present suggestions, and a chap who's even older than James asks the lads to find him a new motor.
Are Friends Scalextric?
In the latest episode of Bangers & Classics, the lads pay their respects to a great writer and racer before settling down to more of the usual nonsense. Topics discussed include Scalextric, 1970s car snobs, the Nissan Micra, and the best car on which to spend ten thousand virtual pounds. And listen to the end for another of James's shock announcements...