
The Empty Bowl
By Justin McElroy

The Empty BowlJan 27, 2022

Eighty-Nine
This is the eighty-ninth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Malt-O-Meal braves new frontiers, ICEE Cereal tries to be cool, and Tres Leches Toast Crunch gets Dan dancin'.

Eighty-Eight
This is the eighty-eighth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which ICEE evades antitrust laws, Cap'n Crunch becomes a crude changeling, and Dan posits a theory of maximally medial munchability.

Eighty-Seven
This is the eighty-seventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Kellogg's attempts a miracle, Cheerios triumph (as usual), and we explore brave new refrigerated frontiers for hypothetical cereals.

Eighty-Six
This is the eighty-sixth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we fill up on puddin' pies, sweet white sauce, and all the grins & smiles & giggles & laughs we can handle.

Eighty-Five
This is the eighty-fifth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which milks multiply, Honey Bunches stay GOATed, and we celebrate cereal's subtlest satisfactions.

Eighty-Four
This is the eighty-fourth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Cheerios scratches an itch, Malt-O-Meal is redeemed by dough, and we consider cereal from a cat's-eye view.

Eighty-Three
This is the eighty-third episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Malt-O-Meal reeks, Post goes to court, and TikTok tries hacking cereal (again).

Eighty-Two
This is the eighty-second episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we assess a menagerie of Minis, mint, and misreported discontinuations.

Eighty-One
This is the eighty-first episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we look back at 2022's best, brightest, and plain ol' not-rightest cereals.

Eighty
This is the eightieth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we celebrate a birthday, the holidays, and varieties within varieties.

Seventy-Nine
This is the seventy-ninth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we contemplate red Berries and red noses, plus oat-less options and oatmeal in disguise.

Seventy-Eight
This is the seventy-eighth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we declare our cereal of the year before even tasting it, Dan tries some buttery U.K. grub, and we rack the brains of our nation's proudest Kraveiacs.

Seventy-Seven
This is the seventy-seventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which bunnies become reindeer, ghosts become yogurt, and cereal box trends become too hip for us old souls to follow.

Seventy-Six
This is the seventy-sixth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Reese's get recursive, the Count & Frank get baked, and we tackle a handful of your miscellaneous musings on munchability.

Seventy-Five
This is the seventy-fifth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Boo Berry mimics Trix, a Target employee outperforms Kellogg's, and we ideate the ideal musical cereal lineup.

Seventy-Four
This is the seventy-fourth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Snoop preempts Nintendo, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch gets hot, which gets Dan bothered.

Seventy-Three
This is the seventy-third episode of The Empty Bowl, in which our milk turns green, pink, and...bean flavored?

Seventy-Two
This is the seventy-second episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Superman misses an opportunity, Cheerios misses the point, and we ponder a world where there's only one cereal company.

Seventy-One
This is the seventy-first episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Malt-O-Meal gets creative, H-E-B gets chocolatey, and Pop-Tarts get...less dry? Or at least, we think they do?

Seventy
This is the seventieth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Tony goes to the dark side, formative snack memories resurface, and Justin gulps big. Real big.

Sixty-Nine
This is the sixty-ninth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which OJ overthrows milk, Sonic gets corny, and Froot Loops straws finally resurface.

Sixty-Eight
This is the sixty-eighth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we doodle snickers, crave rubble, and plan a full day of cereal meals.

Sixty-Seven
This is the sixty-seventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Dan feels old, Lucky turns out to be young, and we share which timeless cereals are actually gluten free.

Sixty-Six
This is the sixty-sixth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which LeBron dunks on Fred, Pop-Tarts get custardy, and we ideate the ideal American cereal sampler.

Sixty-Five
This is the sixty-fifth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Magic Spoon appeals to our tastes, nut milk gets extra creamy, and Dan shares his pick for Cereal's Defining Box.

Sixty-Four
This is the sixty-fourth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which frogs are misidentified, Wendy's & SpongeBob swap sides, and the boundaries of what defines Trix are tested.

Sixty-Three
This is the sixty-third episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Cinnadust rules everything around us, Plentifull wins Dan's heart, and 2021's best & worst cereals get their due scrutiny.

Sixty-Two
This is the sixty-second episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Mrs. Butterworth bottles her lifeblood, Justin explains PJ Masks lore, and [REDACTED] sweeps our Cereal Emperor Election.

Sixty-One
This is the sixty-first episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Cereal Time's Gabe Fonseca subs in for Justin!

Sixty
This is the sixtieth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which it's up to you to decide whether Justin or Dan deserves to be cereal's God Emperor.

Fifty-Nine
This is the fifty-ninth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Krispy Kreme puts swirls on swirls, we ideate the ideal "apple pie toast," and deeply personal sogginess preferences come to light.

Fifty-Eight
This is the fifty-eighth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we praise Chexian geometry, identify ivory entertainment paste, and test Justin's cereal trivia expertise.

Fifty-Seven
This is the fifty-seventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Peppa meets Pop, Dan guzzles a candle, and Justin transcends dairy.

Fifty-Six
This is the fifty-sixth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Pebbles are beautiful, Bowl Buddies are bountiful, and Dan relives a classroom cereal catastrophe.

Fifty-Five
This is the fifty-fifth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we greet Halloween's Five Horsemen, get jealous of a Mexico-exclusive cereal, and answer your most outlandish breakfast inquiries.

Fifty-Four
This is the fifty-fourth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which the Addams Family switches teams, Fingos forgoes milk, and purple is the color of our nostalgic cereal energy.

Fifty-Three
This is the fifty-third episode of The Empty Bowl, in which the Monster Cereals meet Scooby-Doo, Cap'n Crunch respects his chests, and Justin tries an impossibly pink cereal.

Fifty-Two
This is the fifty-second episode of The Empty Bowl, in which a half-forgotten candy bar materializes, Heroes Embrace Breakfast, and we show John Oliver the meaning of cereal innovation.

Fifty-One
This is the fifty-first episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Cap'n Crunch crosses the border, we evaluate two potential cereals of the year, and back-of-the-box fun is had by all.

Fifty
This is the fiftieth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Justin scrutinizes the cereal aisle's treat-ification fixation, Dan goes down a Crunchies rabbit hole, and we both share our favorite namesake breakfast vessels.

Forty-Nine
This is the forty-ninth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which a rightfully discontinued cereal makes a baffling return, Kroger makes a super surprising power play, and we learn one weird trick for making better Chex Mix.

Forty-Eight
This is the forty-eighth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we welcome a marshmallow messiah, peruse pouched cereals, and throwback to Pop-Tarts' greatest goof.

Forty-Seven
This is the forty-seventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which basketballs get crispy, buttery sheens abound, and Dan visits a new cereal cafe.

Forty-Six
This is the forty-sixth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which an obscure Pop-Tart resurfaces, Dunkaroos flunks out, and we investigate the mystery of a certain lasagna-loving cat's long-lost '80s cereal.

Forty-Five
This is the forty-fifth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we are, all of us, made of stardust and Fruity Pebbles.

Forty-Four
This is the forty-fourth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we toast 2020's best cereals—and roast its worst.

Forty-Three
This is the forty-third episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we anticipate a quintuple monster creature feature, reunite with Waffle Crisp, and kick off a divisive new segment.

Forty-Two
This is the forty-second episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we celebrate Pebbles-giving, explore two cereal trinities, and share what we're thankful for in the breakfast aisle.

Forty-One
This is the forty-first episode of The Empty Bowl, in which endmilk gets bottled, beignets get dusted, and Cap'n Crunch's sweater gets ugly.

Forty
This is the fortieth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which elves are shelved & syruped, Cocoa Puffs deflate, and Monster Cereals get scary. Real scary.

Thirty-Nine
This is the thirty-ninth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we air our OCP OMGs, go back in time with Golden Grahams, and challenge you to further document a cereal cryptid that still haunts Dan and Dan alone.

Thirty-Eight
This is the thirty-eighth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we put cinnamon on cinnamon, dig into two surprisingly good new releases, and give you a heads up on autumn's reigning cereal champs.

Thirty-Seven
This is the thirty-seventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we run a granulated gauntlet of chocolate, coffee, and cheese.

Thirty-Six
This is the thirty-sixth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we mind our kindness, unseal Chaka's menacing magic, and entertain your least-hinged cereal imaginings.

Thirty-Five
This is the thirty-fifth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which a trilogy of great news saves us from Worse Froot Loops, brings us a Toast Crunch crusher, and regales us with a 16-year-strong tale of savory cereal democracy.

Thirty-Four
This is the thirty-fourth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we lament the loss of both a cartoon kangaroo and a heap of oat flour, before following Mr. Rogers down the cereal aisle.

Thirty-Three
This is the thirty-third episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we learn too much about Minions cologne, drink hot cereal bean juice, and scrutinize Toucan Sam's reanimated anatomy.

Thirty-Two
This is the thirty-second episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we investigate inconsistent cereal ownership, elaborate on cinnamon intricacies, and strain the outer limits of a Pop-Tarts pouch.

Thirty-One
This is the thirty-first episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Golden Grahams get toasted, Sea Berry Pop-Tarts are unmasked, and your help is sought to locate an elusive maple cereal.

Thirty
This is the thirtieth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Tony's weak point is exposed, Chex Quest baffles the world, and we host the banana cereal debate to end all banana cereal debates.

Twenty-Nine
This is the twenty-ninth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which a dearly departed friend is spotted south of the border, Dan reveals what cereal has grown on him, and Kellogg's bizarrely toasted history reheats itself.

Twenty-Eight
This is the twenty-eighth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which IHOP pops off, Japanese donuts go nuts, and we ideate the best cereal mixes for prolonged indoor munching.

Twenty-Seven
This is the twenty-seventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we stockpile gummy burgers in high volume, explore the surface of Neptune, and not-so-subtly pine for Sprinkle Spangles.

Twenty-Six
This is the twenty-sixth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we defuse risky cereal situations, critique Cinnamon Toast Crunch in varying viscosities, and balance the perfect breakfast.

Twenty-Five
This is the twenty-fifth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Dan seizes a 1 in 100 chance, Justin "Toops" McElroy shares the scoop, and we ask you about your secret cereal.

Twenty-Four
This is the twenty-fourth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we assess a smörgåsbord of 2020 releases, recap 2019's best, and perform a live smell test of the new decade's most potently aromatic cereal.

Twenty-Three
This is the twenty-third episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we discuss a surreally named fast food development, Dan's biggest 2019 disappointment, and the ideal Scooby-Doo cereal.

Twenty-Two
This is the twenty-second episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we cover a rapid-fire barrage of doughnutty news and flapjackular reviews.

Twenty-One
This is the twenty-first episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we ocularly evaluate Twinkies Cereal and explore the potion-colored history of Spooky Froot Loops.

Twenty
This is the twentieth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we say many things about blueberries and consider eating cereal in the monastic tradition.

Nineteen
This is the nineteenth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we drool over Golden Grahams Bites and review a cereal that really bites.

Eighteen
This is the eighteenth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we call Eggo's bluff and make sacrifices to the strangest cereal mascot ever sculpted.

Seventeen
This is the seventeenth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Lucky saves Rice Krispies Treats and secret cereal recipes are released from the archives.

Sixteen
This is the sixteenth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we eat snickerdoodles out of season and make a possible contribution to cereal history.

Fifteen
This is the fifteenth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we lambast Spider-Man's ridiculous request and see which Mermaid Cereal is the better half.

Fourteen
This is the fourteenth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Dan gets duped by an avocado cereal and we weep for the worst thing to happen to cereal in recent memory.

Thirteen
This is the thirteenth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we spotlight our favorite cereal media memories and discuss pillows. So. Many. Pillows.

Twelve
This is the twelfth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we demystify Magic Spoon Cereal and compliment Pac-Man's gym shorts.

Eleven
This is the eleventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Bob Ross comes to breakfast and an underrated gem flies north for the summer.

Ten
This is the tenth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we reveal the newest Cheerios flavor and conquer King Vitaman's Court of Riddles.

Nine
This is the ninth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we discuss cereals both meaty and cryptozoological.

Eight
This is the eighth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we announce an early cereal of the year contender and try to track down a mythical '80s cereal, too.

Seven
This is the seventh episode of The Empty Bowl, in which things quickly turn sour and we get to the bottom of the whole "bottom of the bag" issue.

Six
This is the sixth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we tailor our Yuletide offerings to Mr. Clause and yawn over the year's potentially most boring cereal.

Five
This is the fifth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we taste test redundant Cocoa Puffs and contemplate the ethics of caffeinated cereal.

Four
This is the fourth episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we consider Pop-Tart peripherals and try some of South Africa's strangest cereal flavors.

Three
This is the third episode of The Empty Bowl, in which Justin reveals his hottest Trix take and milk alternatives hit the main stage.

Two
This is the second episode of The Empty Bowl, in which pastries return to the breakfast bowl and Dan draws too much attention at Buffalo Wild Wings.

One
This is the first episode of The Empty Bowl, in which we introduce the world to a meditative podcast about cereal.