The Brandonian Doctrine

When did they change the definition of "free?"

I'm all for donations, but let's make it a win-win for everyone.

I'm not confused at all. You're FedEx!

Great news, bad news, but for whom?

Hopefully, nothing like this has ever happened to you.

I don't mind helping with certain tasks, but for drudgery like moving, I just want credit for the offer.

I'll take the hit and read the news so you don't have to.

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! Whatever you do, don't go to an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day.

No one wants to hear about the dream you had last night.

Have you ever been on the phone with someone and just can't seem to end the call? Here are some suggestions that should end the call immediately.

A tip for SuperBowl parties

Important public service announcement in case you are ever in this situation.

Part 2 of the best clips of The Brandonian Doctrine

As a capper to Season 1, this is Part 1 of a compilation of the best bits from The Brandonian Doctrine

"Tickets! Tickets!"

This is what I've always wanted my voicemail message to be.

A rule for relationships

Just say no applies to more than just drugs.

Are you pretending to be too busy? That's your choice.

I don't want my money back. I want the product/service to work as advertised.

For me, milk does NOT do a body good.

Sometimes the internet goes down and sometimes it doesn't. 

So much for the trend of bigger is better.

For all the pizza lovers out there.

What's this "never quit" mantra I hear so much about?

On momentum, success, decision, and action

Hint: It's NOT when you wake up in the morning.

Knowing is not enough.

My attempt at some dad humor.

Has anyone else experienced the three-check month phenomenon?

"What would you say to someone who is bleeding from four different places on his body at the same time?"

Microsoft Teams is the latest program. Do we need another one?

Should weddings be put on hold while we sort out this pandemic?

Part 2

True story. Part 1.

I don't care about your title.

One source of income is a bad idea.

A new invention that combines life-saving with convenience.

A technique for dealing with telemarketers.

What's the point of lessons learned if no one learns the lessons?

Happy Father's Day!

I'm either going to eat the real deal or go without. No turkey bacon.

Buy one, get one. What happened to 2-for-1?

Direct threat or harmless reminder?

Beware that third sneeze in a row.

Do not invite me to one.

Have a look-see.

Maybe it's time for unfriendly reminders instead.

Any drink coasters that do not fulfill these two jobs are out!

Let's explore some grocery shopping tips and see if they are all that valuable.

I don't have time to go searching for links on Instagram.

Ready to go out to eat? There's going to be some changes.

If you have a job, are you spending any time on Linked In? 

I don't need content recommendations.

Enough of advertising in text messages. Who's with me??

Can you tell I'm an introvert?

Some advice that I got when I took my first management position.

Maybe it should be called HBO Lax.

Do you trust the sender of an email when the sender is you?

What does it mean to be neighborly?

Always keep an eye out.

Mayonnaise fans, this one's for you.

Aren't these items used at the sink instead of the toilet?

Who are the best beneficiaries of this free service?

Teeth whitening products are easy to find. What about teeth staining products?

Stop wasting my time with meaningless polls and hypothetical stories. Who cares!

Simply taking a walk sounds easy right?

Let's remember to focus on our priorities right now.

I'm tired of these commercials.

For all the people who like cobbler.

Who is buying Papa Murphy's pizzas??

Thanking the unsung heroes in our households.

This is a vintage episode reminding me of the good ol' days of traveling.

Who knew cough drops could be so funny?

Some ideas are simply absurd.

What exactly am I supposed to do when I see an amber alert?

Who keeps changing these?

Ok time to call out these people.

The CARES Act has some unintended consequences.

Anyone else annoyed by this?

I just call it a hot dog.

Magazines went out with powdered wigs.

Don't forget the overlying conditions.

What's with the obsession with the number 15?

Do you really want to be on the same page with everyone else?

By the time it gets to me, the story has been told.

That's fine but where's my order??

Have you ever carried around a food baby?

Who needs to pay for senior pictures nowadays?

Cover those webcams when not in use!

Look out for the hackers!

Happy Earth Day everybody!

Who else can't stand talking on the phone?

What good are political endorsements?

A riff on his Airness Michael Jordan

What's with a scale and 401k going in the WRONG direction faster than anything??

I describe one of the worst sounds that gives me absolute anxiety.

Be sure to use the words data and media correctly.

Don't forget to wear your face mask when you go out and about.

Is the jury out or not out?

Who gets bored?

I'm just here to see the show.

Isn't dentistry a hands-on field?

Don't forget to wash your hands.

A simple phrase for a good night's sleep.

A puzzling lack of information

Spreading cheer and joy?

What's with these non-names?

Look out for the Trolls coming to your living room soon!

Support small business?

Either get healthy or stay healthy.

We need a call to inaction.