The Brandonian DoctrineApr 21, 2020
113 Free book
When did they change the definition of "free?"
112 Sock Drive
I'm all for donations, but let's make it a win-win for everyone.
111 You're FedEx!
I'm not confused at all. You're FedEx!
110 I've got great news
Great news, bad news, but for whom?
109 Simultaneous Bodily Functions
Hopefully, nothing like this has ever happened to you.
108 Credit for the offer
I don't mind helping with certain tasks, but for drudgery like moving, I just want credit for the offer.
107 Browsing CNN
I'll take the hit and read the news so you don't have to.
106 St. Patrick's Day
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! Whatever you do, don't go to an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day.
105 A Dream of a Wedding
No one wants to hear about the dream you had last night.
104 Phrases to end a call
Have you ever been on the phone with someone and just can't seem to end the call? Here are some suggestions that should end the call immediately.
103 Chips and Floor Salsa
A tip for SuperBowl parties
102 What to do when someone is choking
Important public service announcement in case you are ever in this situation.
101 Best of Part 2
Part 2 of the best clips of The Brandonian Doctrine
100 Best of Part 1
As a capper to Season 1, this is Part 1 of a compilation of the best bits from The Brandonian Doctrine
98 My voicemail box is full
This is what I've always wanted my voicemail message to be.
97 The 33 Percent Rule
A rule for relationships
96 No is an acceptable choice
Just say no applies to more than just drugs.
95 Busy is a decision
Are you pretending to be too busy? That's your choice.
94 Money back guarantee
I don't want my money back. I want the product/service to work as advertised.
93 Milk is a gateway food to bad eating
For me, milk does NOT do a body good.
92 Internet's down!
Sometimes the internet goes down and sometimes it doesn't.
91 Getting less but paying more
So much for the trend of bigger is better.
90 My ode to pizza
For all the pizza lovers out there.
89 Finishing what you started
What's this "never quit" mantra I hear so much about?
88 Momentum in three's
On momentum, success, decision, and action
87 When the day starts
Hint: It's NOT when you wake up in the morning.
86 Knowledge is not power
Knowing is not enough.
85 Dad humor
My attempt at some dad humor.
84 Three check month
Has anyone else experienced the three-check month phenomenon?
83 A relatively healthy young man
"What would you say to someone who is bleeding from four different places on his body at the same time?"
82 Work messaging
Microsoft Teams is the latest program. Do we need another one?
Should weddings be put on hold while we sort out this pandemic?
80 A man going into a women's restroom conclusion
79 A man going into a women's restroom
True story. Part 1.
78 Titles don't matter
I don't care about your title.
77 Putting all your eggs in one basket
One source of income is a bad idea.
76 Tide Epi pen
A new invention that combines life-saving with convenience.
75 Reverse dialing
A technique for dealing with telemarketers.
74 Lessons learned
What's the point of lessons learned if no one learns the lessons?
73 Happy Father's Day
Happy Father's Day!
72 The Turkey Bacon Hypothesis
I'm either going to eat the real deal or go without. No turkey bacon.
Buy one, get one. What happened to 2-for-1?
70 I'll see you on Sunday
Direct threat or harmless reminder?
69 Three sneezes
Beware that third sneeze in a row.
68 Escape rooms
Do not invite me to one.
67 A Look-see
Have a look-see.
66 Friendly reminders
Maybe it's time for unfriendly reminders instead.
65 A drink coaster has two jobs
Any drink coasters that do not fulfill these two jobs are out!
64 Grocery shopping tips
Let's explore some grocery shopping tips and see if they are all that valuable.
63 Link in the bio
I don't have time to go searching for links on Instagram.
62 Dining out
Ready to go out to eat? There's going to be some changes.
61 Linked In notifications
If you have a job, are you spending any time on Linked In?
60 Content recommendations
I don't need content recommendations.
59 Text marketing
Enough of advertising in text messages. Who's with me??
58 The T-shirt from Boston
Can you tell I'm an introvert?
57 First time in management
Some advice that I got when I took my first management position.
56 HBO Max
Maybe it should be called HBO Lax.
55 Trust the sender
Do you trust the sender of an email when the sender is you?
54 Be neighborly
What does it mean to be neighborly?
53 Getting robbed blind
Always keep an eye out.
52 Face masks revisited
51 Light mayo
Mayonnaise fans, this one's for you.
50 Why do we call them toiletries?
Aren't these items used at the sink instead of the toilet?
49 Headspace app for free
Who are the best beneficiaries of this free service?
48 Teeth whitening products
Teeth whitening products are easy to find. What about teeth staining products?
47 Election polls
Stop wasting my time with meaningless polls and hypothetical stories. Who cares!
46 Walking for your health
Simply taking a walk sounds easy right?
45 Celebrating birthdays
Let's remember to focus on our priorities right now.
44 Commercials for prescription drugs
I'm tired of these commercials.
43 Peach cobbler
For all the people who like cobbler.
42 Papa Murphy's Pizza
Who is buying Papa Murphy's pizzas??
41 Applaud our appliances
Thanking the unsung heroes in our households.
40 Donation for the troops
This is a vintage episode reminding me of the good ol' days of traveling.
39 Cold cough drops
Who knew cough drops could be so funny?
38 Thong diaper
Some ideas are simply absurd.
37 Amber alerts
What exactly am I supposed to do when I see an amber alert?
36 Menu items have changed
Who keeps changing these?
35 Sorry I was talking on mute
Ok time to call out these people.
34 Paid to do nothing
The CARES Act has some unintended consequences.
33 I don't watch Jeopardy
Anyone else annoyed by this?
32 What is a dotson?
I just call it a hot dog.
31 Rolling Stone magazine
Magazines went out with powdered wigs.
30 Underlying conditions
Don't forget the overlying conditions.
29 Geico insurance
What's with the obsession with the number 15?
28 Get on the same page
Do you really want to be on the same page with everyone else?
27 The untold story
By the time it gets to me, the story has been told.
26 CEO emails
That's fine but where's my order??
25 Food baby
Have you ever carried around a food baby?
24 Senior pictures
Who needs to pay for senior pictures nowadays?
23 Webcam spying
Cover those webcams when not in use!
22 A ransomware attack
Look out for the hackers!
21 Earth day
Happy Earth Day everybody!
20 The impending doom of a phone call
Who else can't stand talking on the phone?
19 Political endorsements
What good are political endorsements?
18 The greatest of all time
A riff on his Airness Michael Jordan
17 A scale and 401k
What's with a scale and 401k going in the WRONG direction faster than anything??
16 Nails on a chalkboard
I describe one of the worst sounds that gives me absolute anxiety.
15 Data in the media
Be sure to use the words data and media correctly.
14 Face masks in public
Don't forget to wear your face mask when you go out and about.
13 The jury is out
Is the jury out or not out?
12 Puzzles and boredom
Who gets bored?
11 Easter Sunday
I'm just here to see the show.
Isn't dentistry a hands-on field?
09 Washing hands
Don't forget to wash your hands.
08 You gotta go to bed
A simple phrase for a good night's sleep.
07 How to gain weight
A puzzling lack of information
06 Christmas lights in April
Spreading cheer and joy?
05 Non name
What's with these non-names?
Look out for the Trolls coming to your living room soon!
03 Small business
Support small business?
02 Stay Healthy
Either get healthy or stay healthy.
01 Call to Inaction
We need a call to inaction.