Meant to Bloom

Financial literacy is the key to financial freedom 

Raquel recently helped my husband and I set up the life insurance plans we’ve been putting off for the last 8 years, as well as savings plans for the kids that we had meant to set up with each birth - If you want someone to take you by the hand and lead you to the financial freedom and next right steps for your family, while taking nothing out of pocket from you personally, get in touch with Raquel. 

In this episode we’re chatting about: 

How Money Works: don’t be a sucker  

The Money Milestones to financial freedom

How you can get help from a trusted financial expert

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Listen to these related episodes: 

47: The secret to living your dream life  

60: Creating a life you love 

73: Getting rooted in your worth 

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Financial Resources: 

We’re supposed to be doing all things “in love,” but when society tells you it’s cooler to be a hot mess, have a bad attitude about all your responsibilities and count down the minutes until it’s “wine o’clock,” it can be even more difficult - because having love in your heart while changing a baby out of the third blow out diaper of the day isn’t already hard enough. 

There’s a few reasons we struggle to feel love while going about our daily mom-life, and I’m going to unravel these for you today. In my corner of the internet, I’m known as The Happy Mom, but I wasn’t always this way. I was so overwhelmed with motherhood and homemaking and marriage and existence in general and I struggled with depression and anxiety disorders for far too long. But I overcame all that, and I’ve made it my mission to help other moms do the same. 

In this episode we’re chatting about: 

How gratitude can rewrite your reactions  

Setting boundaries and saying no

Having more fun, everyday 

This system I’m going to share today is loosely based on a 5 day mindset realign challenge that I have taught spontaneously for the last 2 years, and a workbook that accompanies it has become my best selling printable product.

I’m here today to talk about what I’m calling Peaceful Productivity. I’m not here to peddle a superficial productivity that checks every item off your to-do list while you miss out on your kid’s childhood and show up burnt out and bitter every time you come up for air.

I’m all about balance and harmony. I’m all about learning to be mindful and present in the moment. I’m also about kicking ass and taking names when it comes to growing my business and caring for my home at the same time.

One disclaimer I have to make - I believe that YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT YOU CAN’T DO EVERYTHING, ON YOUR OWN, ALL THE TIME.

Get the workbook for this episode: https://brittniclarkson.ck.page/695e3143b9

Join the Bad Ass Moms in Business group here: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10157481710479667&set=p.10157481710479667 ***********************************

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Motherhood is not housekeeping. Adulting with kids is not the same as “motherhood”. Anyone trying to do tasks with a child is facing an incredible handicap - that’s not what makes motherhood hard. Good moms can suck at cleaning, cooking, baking. 

How do you define motherhood? How do you measure your success as a mom?

In this episode we’re chatting about: 

Moms can have all kinds of skills 

Motherhood is not housekeeping 

You are a good mom 

Trigger warning:  This episode contains information about childhood physical and sexual abuse and is designed for adult listeners.  Headphones are recommended.

We like to pretend that some things aren’t a problem until they are a problem. In some cases this may work for you… But when it comes to the safety of our children, that’s not the time to chance it. We have to stop turning a blind eye to its existence and talk about the ugly pieces we don’t want to talk about to prevent these tragedies and atrocities from continuing on into our children’s lives. 

In this episode we’re chatting about: 

The ugly truth and shocking statistics about child abuse 

How to talk to your kids about body safety 

The Body Safety Box

You’re doing too much, bae. I let go of my to-do list over a year ago, and it’s been my most productive year - mainly because I’m not spending my energy beating myself up over what’s left unfinished. There’s a very simple method to getting your to do list complete and putting this method into your weekly rhythm can prevent a to do list from growing. You can ditch your list all together by using your planner in a way that helps you win your day. It’s not about planning every detail of your day, it’s about creating breathing room in your days and learning to truly rest in the process. 

In this episode we’re chatting about: 

Life is full of unexpected joys, but what about those times you were so sure you didn't WANT this joy? We're talking about unexpected second pregnancies. I think we don't talk often enough how terrifying pregnancy can be even for a mama who's been there before, even for a mama who's been TRYING to conceive. One thing is for sure: excitement and fear are almost identical sensations, and sometimes we feel both at the same time.

Courtney was a one-and-done mama who recently had her mind changed for her. I'm so glad she's here to share her story of how she changed her mindset and is fully embracing this new life with joy and excitement.

"Really take the time to acknowledge where you were and to how far you've come and if you don't feel like there's that much of a difference, it's never too late to change that. I think that having those external resources will be the difference between how I navigated postpartum depression or anxiety back then versus how I may handle it now." Courtney Wendzicki on comparing her current pregnancy to her first.

I’m sick of being told that I have to be a mom-preneur to live a fulfilled life - yes, I am building a business as a stay at home mom, but too often I get fooled into thinking that the mom part is the lesser of the two. I do my best to create a life that harmonizes the work, the play, the love, etc, but sometimes old thought patterns make a cameo and turn things upside down. I want to normalize that part - the realigning, the recentering, the refocusing on what’s truly important and impactful in our everyday lives.

In this episode we’re chatting about: 

Motherhood is leadership 

Your dream to be a SAHM is big enough 

Stop mind reading and be yourself anyway

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Listen to these related episodes: 

Positive Intelligence Coach, Dorice Horenstein, is dropping some absolute bombs on today’s episode. This one is packed with insight, wisdom, love and understanding and this is blow-your-mind, melt-your-brain, kind of stuff. I’m so excited to share this juicy news with you, friend. Number take away: Love yourself enough to take action. 

In this episode we’re chatting about: 

Positive Intelligence and Psychology 

Self Sabotage and Sages 

Empathy and Relationship to others and self

Positive intelligence book 

Self assessment for self sabotage  

*********************************** Connect with Dorice Horenstein

Some things just don’t go the way we plan. My weekend getaway to Vegas for example. What was meant to be a romantic and fun trip with the husband, wasn’t meant to include a two hour sob fest in the hotel room rethinking my entire life, and yet that’s exactly what the weekend needed. 

I wasn’t being honest with myself, I was hiding away the ugly parts and pretended I’d overcome them each time, when really I was running away. The problem with running is they will always catch up to you, and when they do, you’ll be exhausted. Lesson: it’s best to face the fears, face the lies, face the ugliness, when it’s still small and fresh. 

In this episode we’re chatting about: 

My mental break down in a Vegas hotel room 

Check on your own red flags 

Happiness isn’t a cure, it’s a remedy. 

Listen to these related episodes: 

This statement might not sit well with you, but Being a Mom is Hard - and ignoring the difficulties is just another piece of toxic positivity. Our tendencies to hide away our troubles, put on a happy face and keep on swimming is what’s tearing us apart. Mama, let’s stand together, let’s hold one another’s hand. It’s not always hard, but it’s okay to admit that it’s hard right now. In the end it all makes sense, it all makes us stronger, it’s all worth it. But in the middle, know you’re not alone, know you’re not the first to feel this way. Motherhood is tough, but YOU’RE TOUGHER.

In this episode we’re chatting about:

I'm getting a bit honest and vulnerable today (okay, so I do that all the time...) I'm sharing with you a sneak peek into my life right now in this season of waiting, transition, and anxiety. I'm choosing fullness over  busy-ness, I'm choosing peace over stress. And here's exactly how I'm doing that right now, in real time, today. 

In this episode we’re chatting about:

Listen to these related episodes:

How many times have you started that healthy living journey only to quickly be met by the towering overwhelm of it all? It doesn’t have to be that way. Today Lucy Hutchings is sharing her expert advice on making healthy living realistic, simple, and sustainable. Lucy is revealing the real reasons you’re overwhelmed by this shift AND giving her tips on how to overcome each of those reasons.

I rarely talk about my planner for how big of a part it plays in my story and daily life. I’ve been asked a few questions about HOW I actually use my planner and approach differing schedules from day to day, and I want to answer those here. I also want to tell you how I used my daily planner to beat my bad attitude and save my mental health. I’m also going to share some of the tips and insights I have in response to a few questions I’ve received recently about this topic. 

Here’s what I’m chatting about in this episode: 

See more about this at www.BrittniClarkson.com 

Get the Guide Bundle here: http://blossomacademy.teachable.com/p/the-guide-collection 

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There’s just too many different ways a woman today can be plagued by unworthiness.

I know especially as women, we are surrounded by a lot of comparisons.  In social media, advertisements, magazines, tv… And they just show you pictures of what other places look like, other homes look like, other people look and that comparison starts you thinking “I'm not that good.”

And then there’s this productivity based worthiness. There’s this unworthiness that comes from feeling like we can’t achieve it all, we can’t complete our daily to-do lists, we can’t keep everyone happy, we can’t live up to all the heavy expectations that have been placed on us whether by ourselves, our environments, our families, or our religion.

How do we begin this journey to breaking free from those chains of unworthiness? Today I have Emily Louis of Abundant Grace Podcast here to talk us through this one.

We've all got that new Miley banger on repeat, and I now there's tons of you happily married ladies feeling like you "shouldn't" be singing it with such passion. But I want to challenge that mindset and say: Yes, you SHOULD by yourself flowers, even if your man already does. Self Love is the topic today! Let's chat about it. 

More from this episode here: https://brittniclarkson.com/2023/02/07/72-buy-yourself-flowers-love-yourself-better/ 

Hey friend, 

The Happy Mom Method is on a mega sale for the last time ever this week and I wanted to share with you how this program is finally going to help you feel like a capable adult human.  

In order to live our lives with intention, we must first know what our intentions are. We must ask ourselves questions to understand what is really important to us, and seek a life that makes these a priority. A life without without intention is like drifting in the sea without a destination. You might be moving great distances, you might be paddling for hours on end, exhausting yourself, but if you don't know where you're going, you'll never get there. If you don't know where you're going, you'll never get there. Setting the intent for your life, and each day, is like charting a course. Everyday the time will pass and you'll keep putting in the effort, whether it gets you anywhere or not. Everyday is an opportunity to move closer to your destination, your goals, your mission. Every day is an opportunity to fulfill your purpose. 

Mama, this conversation isn't easy to have, but this is one other part of life you need to let be easy - YOU. ;) 

I know I've got into a terrible habit of blocking my own joy, pleasure, ecstasy.... Have you? Are you in a habit of creating barriers between you and your spouse? Do you suddenly "have a headache" when any opportunity for intimacy arises? Or am I totally alone on this one...?? 

Hey friend, it's my birthday! 

And of course, you're the one I want to spend it with. I love that you're here, I so appreciate you letting me into your life here, I'm very grateful to have you. This episode is short and sweet: I just wanted to share with you how I spend my birthday, the realization that I knew my mom when she was my age, and the 2 things I really really want for my birthday - 1) a review on Apple Podcasts from YOU, & 2) share your favorite episode on your Instagram and tag me (@britclarkson) so I can come stalk your profile and get to know you a little bit! :) 

I know it sounds like it doesn’t work, but I promise it does. When we push ourselves to burn out, we end up missing out on life as it’s happening and we end up missing our target much of the time. On the flip side, when we pull back, we savor the sweet moments of the present and we align our shot, the arrow flies true. We hit the target.

I’m pulling back, and I’m promising myself an enjoyable and restful holiday season. January holds many wonderful things and I want to be all in on it. How are you spending the holidays? In a frenzy of no sleep or self care? Or are you embracing Hygge and rest and renewal and doing the inner work as nature does to bloom when Spring comes?

It’s a busy season and it’s really easy to forget about yourself. I know, I forgot about myself too. We had a month of sickness in our house and I missed out on a lot of nights of good sleep, then I depended on coffee for energy and screwed with my digestion and my hormones and my adrenals and all that stuff. This sleep deprivation and lack of nutrition and hydration led me into an emotional exhaustion and now, here I sit, exhausted in so many ways.

I've heard too many women bad mouthing their husbands behind their backs. I've heard even more women nagging and verbally assaulting their husbands to their faces (I'm one of them, oops). I recorded this conversation with my friend, Kate, last year and I have to admit, it was helpful to revisit some of the wisdom in this chat.

Being mindful in your marriage of how you're talking to yourself and to your spouse is one of the most important things you can do. Pay attention to what your triggers are and why you're really getting upset - is it really this other person that's upsetting you? Or is it really you, that's upsetting you?

You’ve heard the idiom to dress for the job you want, but today I’m not talking about just your clothes. It’s your attitude, your habits, your mindset. Becoming the next best version of you doesn’t have to be super complicated, yeah it’s gonna be work, but it’s worthwhile work.

Don’t wait until New Year to decide what new habit you want to start, or old one to drop. Choose now, who you want to BE and then align your habits with her.

Reminder: If you order the new Everyday Joy Planner on Amazon by Dec 9, you have their guarantee to have it by January 1st when we start our encouragement and growth group on Facebook. This group is going to be running from Jan 1 to Mar 31 to keep you aligned with your goals and mental wellness while giving yourself so much grace for life to happen. Let’s grow together!

Hey mama, let’s unnormalize peeing your pants a little when you sneeze. If you’re out of the loop like me, you just found out that incontinence of any kind (even a little bit) isn’t okay and Kegels are NOT the answer. So, what the heck are we supposed to do then?

Today I am joined by Pauli Hannan from Beyond the V, she’s a mom who understands that you don’t have a ton of time or energy to start some strict, confining regimen to fix this issue, she also knows what she’s talking about since she’s been a pelvic floor physical therapist for 12 years!

Pauli is sharing with us the deets on knowing if you need to work on your pelvic floor (if you’ve ever birthed a child, this is probably for you), and simple solutions that work. Let’s heal this together and unnormalize maternal incontinence!

I believe motherhood is awesome and all those hard parts aren’t really motherhood. The hardest parts of motherhood should be watching our kids struggle to learn something new, or going through a heart break.

Keeping up with dishes, stressing about what schooling options to choose, getting behind on laundry, and feeling like you’re not an absolute MILF, shouldn’t be the “hard parts of motherhood.” Because let’s face it. those are just a distraction for the real reason you’re a mom, you’re real purpose as a mom.

Getting hung up on those chores or limiting beliefs just isn’t your destiny.

I believe that all women bloom when the season and environment is right for them. I also believe that with our minds, we can manipulate our environment. Through practices like effective affirmations, grounding, and deep gratitude, we can shift our whole mindsets and FEEL like we are living a new life, even without our external world changing at all.

I know what it feels like to be faking gratitude. I know how it feels to have lost faith in humanity, to feel unseen, to feel afraid of your own voice, to feel so alone yet surrounded by others. I know what it’s like to be judged for everything you say aloud, to be criticized, to feel unsafe, to feel undervalued. I know how that feels and yet, I know how to still be so rooted and so certain of what lights me up inside. I know what it’s like to find gratitude in the midst of depression and anxiety.

I wanna have a serious chat with you today about doing the things you know you’re supposed to be doing. Too often we get caught up in the excitement of all the fun ways to practice self-care, but when it comes down to it, none of that really matters if you aren’t taking care of your basic needs first. Who cares if you’ve just had a mani-pedi when you haven’t had enough sleep. No amount of retail therapy can make up for being dehydrated or under-noursihed.

Especially now, during cold and flu season, when your kids are out picking up all kinds of bugs every week, taking care of your basic needs helps to support your immune system and help you be available to show up for them fully in their time of need, too.

We’ve all been there, in a rage over something minor, worked up over an inconvenience, flying into a panic attack out of nowhere, then someone says: “just calm down” and everything intensifies. You get hit with that burning hot desire to just throat punch them.

But what if we didn’t get angry when someone says this to us, what if we really did “just calm down?”

Today I want to share with you my thoughts on this topic, how I really feel when someone says this to me, and some of my best practices and resources for calming down.

I’m no parenting expert, but I do my best. One of the trickiest parts of motherhood for me right now is the waiting and the trusting. Waiting for my kids to “do it themselves” and trusting that it’s worth the extra time for them to learn to do it themselves.

Currently we’re also working on breaking those ingrained habits of creating punishments for our kids' defiant behavior. I’m talking about the times our kids refuse to wear coats on a cold day. There’s no need to punish it when they can learn from the natural consequence of being cold because they refused a coat. It’s actually less work for us, really.

In today’s episode we’re chatting all about how it feels to let our kids do it on their own and trust for them to learn from their own life experiences. Kids learn best by doing, after all.

The other day I had a friend message me and ask “what does a restful day look like for you?” And that got me thinking, how many busy, high achieving, mamas need to know what it looks like to actually rest?

Rest doesn’t just come as spa days, silent evenings with a cup of tea, or hours on hours of cuddling up in a chair and reading your favorite comfort novel. Rest can look like an adventure through the woods, it can look like a day out shopping, it can look like Disney movie marathons with the kids. Rest has a lot of faces, but only one heart. Rest is about renewal and giving your busy brain a break.

I’m here to show you it’s easier than you think! Let’s get well rested mama.

I’m excited to share this amazing interview with you all today. I had the blessing of meeting up Abby Haggard of The Fullness Show to chat about her new course releasing this week. There’s so much heart and fire in Abby when she talks about freeing up your time and space to show up fully for the ones you love more. I can’t wait for you to meet her and glean the wisdom and divine inspiration from her words in this episode and beyond.

“Free yourself up for what actually matters” - Abby Haggard

I know that to-do list is insane right now and you want to get a lot of things done before the holidays consume you… You feel pulled in so many directions with a 1000 things you have to do. I’m here to slap you in the face in the best way I know how. My friend, you don’t HAVE to do anything. I want you to see the power in your perception, alter the way you view reality and wake up to the realization that you WANT to do those things you plan to do.

I spent last weekend at the EmpowerHer Live event coordinated by Kacia Ghetmiri and to say it was amazing was an understatement. I’m here to do the dang thing and I hope you’re ready for a whole lot of encouragement coming your way!

The words we use are important to the life we are choosing to live. The way you talk about yourself matters. The way you talk about your life matters. If you want to make a change and start living a better life, to rise to a higher version of yourself, you’ve got to start talking about yourself and your life as if you’re already there.

You don’t heal your depression by talking to yourself like you’re a piece of crap. You’re not going to finally finish that project by shaming yourself about not having it done yet. You’re not going to be a better mom by constantly living in that mom-guilt you’re currently holding yourself under. You’re not going to shame yourself into your best self.

Burn out is real and it fricking sucks. I’ve shared a lot of tips for preventing the burn out, letting life be easy, and letting go of the stress of the little things, but I haven’t shared much about getting through the burn out when you’re deep in it.

It might be hard to take care of yourself right now, it might seem like it’s just one extra thing to do on top of your already overwhelming and endless list, but these tips are going to help. A handful of which can be done in 5 minutes or less and get the juices flowing to get you back on track and on the road to loving your life.

Listen to the podcast today for encouragement and empowered advice on how to survive the burn out.

I tried to research the statistics for how common anxiety disorders are, but it started giving me an anxiety attack. I wish I were kidding about that. There seems to be a wide variety of statistics to choose from here, anywhere between 3% and 18% of the US population has anxiety. Those feel incredibly inaccurate from my experience. It leads you to believe anxiety is uncommon, like you’re alone in this.

You aren’t alone. You are so far from it. If you have anxiety, or panic attacks, or seemingly unexplainable feelings of fearfulness and you feel isolated in your experience - you’re in the right place. We’re friends here. We have battled mental illness and disorders, and we’re here to talk about the real life experiences and practical tools that you can actually use in your day to day living to enjoy life more.

Today, I have Sara Miller, the self care expert and coach, to discuss what anxiety feels like for her (because we all experience this differently) and her expert tips and tools on how she gets ahead of the anxiety to keep it from taking charge of her life.

I feel like too often, us moms, exclude ourselves from the idea of living a dream life. Mama, I can’t let you do that. You're meant to live your dream life. You’re meant for life to the fullest. You’re meant for abundant blessings. And it’s likely that you’ve already got a life full of blessing and abundance, you’ve just trained your brain not to see that.

It’s easy to get caught up in all the negative things in life and forget to see the beauty everywhere. Let’s go ahead and explore that today. Let’s take a quick look at all the blessings disguised as burdens in your life. Let’s get grounded in gratitude today.

Links Mentioned

I have this theory that we block the joy from our own lives, whether that’s because we feel undeserving of it or because we simply feel uncomfortable with the unknown. I believe that we are meant for joy and peace and too often we let ourselves get caught up in the mundane, day to day tasks of life. We lose sight of what’s truly important to us because we are blinded by stress and urgency.

Here’s the thing though, you’re in control of your own life. You get to decide where your time and energy goes. You get to choose to let peace and joy into your life. You are the gatekeeper. You are the queen. It’s up to you.

Let’s get an aerial view of your life. Let’s take a look at how you think and react and spend your time from a non-judgmental perspective. Are you living the life you want to be living? It’s never too late to take charge and make a shift. Let’s align our days with the greatest intentions of our lives. I’m here for it.

This episode is a lesson taken right from The Happy Mom Method. 

Links Mentioned

I love the Autumn. Sweaters, bonfires, pumpkin spice donuts, wooly socks, crisp mornings. Fall is the absolute best for a girl like me, basic. But this time of year always gets me thinking, all of nature is changing, but am I? Am I shedding my dead leaves? Am I making room for growth? Am I doing that sacred inner work to be ready to bloom in the Spring-time?

Mama, our lives must go through seasons of change just as nature does. Life is always changing and growing and resting and blooming, and so must we!

When you’re a mom it seems like the whole weight of the world falls on your shoulders. It can get overwhelming at times - okay, most times, maybe. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Really.

Overwhelming isn’t a result of too much to do, it’s actually rooted in not knowing where to start. When you have symptoms of perfectionism that can become paralyzing.

I know what it feels like to be drowning in ALL. THE. THINGS. The cooking, the cleaning, the scheduling, the laundry, the dishes, there’s no time for me, no time for love, no time for anything but stress. It’s time to change the narrative. It’s time to take back our damn lives!

Mama, you’re in charge. You’re the queen!

Links Mentioned

Comparison is a very sneaky trap. It shows up in unexpected ways and can go unnoticed for some time. Sometimes we accidentally judge the mom who seems to have it all figured out, she finds time to brush her hair and wears real jeans and suddenly here we are feeling like less than. We never meant to judge, we never meant to compare, we never meant to let ourselves feel like trash, but here we are.

What you need to know is, you don’t know her full story, you can’t possibly know her full story. Parts of her life may be falling apart and she’d trade her time to herself in the morning to get ready for a husband who gave her the time of day if she could. You just don’t know.

Comparison is a kind of judgment that just sneaks in. But there’s one great way to recognize it and overcome it.

I’m the last person you would have expected to be hosting a podcast. I’d operated mostly from a place of fear all my life; fear of disappointing others, fear of being noticed, fear of looking stupid, fear of losing loved ones, fear of being seen, fear of being heard.

I liked to play small and stay out of sight. Something like public speaking or hosting a podcast was literally my greatest fear. And yet, here I am.

I struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Anxiety is exhausting. Constantly being afraid of what might or might not happen - most of the time fearing things that are statistical improbabilities. It’s weird being so afraid of things that will probably never happen. It kind of sucks to live afraid of the future, yet longing so desperately to move forward out of that depression that holds you repeating the past until you just can’t stand it anymore.

Let’s chat about fear based decisions and the freedom that comes from standing up and doing it scared. It could quite literally change your life.

I always had this idea that you couldn’t quit something that wasn’t destroying your life. I think mommy-wine culture can be incredibly toxic to those who struggle with addiction. If you’re good with a glass of wine at the end of the day, that’s awesome, more power to you. But if you feel like this could be an unsafe lifestyle for you, the way I did, I want to take this time today to give you permission to quit while you’re ahead.

I always felt like I needed to hit rock bottom before I could claim sobriety. I thought everything needed to be done in a particular order or that I had to fit into a perfect mold and definition of things. It felt silly to me that I could do something to make my life better when my life wasn’t falling apart. I was wrong, of course.

I struggle with moderation. I’m an all-in kind of person. I can’t have a little, it’s all or nothing. I’ve always been a binge-er. I couldn’t watch one episode, I had to watch a whole season. I couldn’t have a single serving of chips, I had to eat until I felt sick…

You don’t have to hit what you view as rock-bottom before you give up a destructive behavior - whether that’s your screen time, staying up too late, snacking habits, negative self-talk, inappropriate drinking, etc.

The choice is yours. Change can be hard, but it’s beautiful and necessary. Life is always changing, you’ve got to face facts and accept that it’s time for you to bloom.

Links Mentioned

I keep hearing people say mom-life is hard… I don’t think that’s true though. I think we choose to let it be “hard” so we can stay in our comfort zone, in that hot mess mom culture that feels so safe and chaotic.

The truth is: life gets to be easy, if you let it be easy. When we choose to let it be easy, we free up our time and energy to elevate in other areas of our life. We can lean more into our true purpose and grow deeper in our relationships. Life gets better when we let it be easy.

Today I want to share with you a few of the things that make my own life a bit easier. Some of it’s mindset shifts, some of it’s the products that make daily life simpler or better.

(Affiliate links are provided throughout because, well, if I’m gonna recommend you to buy a product from a company, that company should pay me for doing their advertising…)

It’s okay to be a beginner. You don’t have to go “all in” when you’re starting something new.

You don’t have to learn everything you need to know at the very beginning. You can start slow and begin with almost no knowledge of the thing you’re interested in.

You don’t have to be good enough to teach anyone what you’re doing. You don’t have to be able to carry on a conversation about the thing you’re doing - whether that’s homesteading, or gardening, or blogging or podcasting, or making jewelry or whatever.

You decide to start and figure everything else out along the way and are willing to take baby steps. Have the passion and courage to start. Begin. Get going.

Last month I had an incredibly transformative weekend of personal and business growth. I met a room full of amazing Powerhouse Women, I mapped out a brand new course I’m creating for you with my business mentor, and I had so many realizations that I’m very excited to share with you.

Today’s episode was inspired by a conversation with Kacia Ghetmiri of EmpowerHER podcast. When she asked me to my face if I’m coming to her live event in October I had to explain the mom guilt I had to overcome to even come on that trip.

Guilt is garbage. Fear is a liar. Imposter Syndrome is a coping mechanism meant to keep you safe and small. You’re meant for more than you’re allowing yourself to receive. Ditch the mom-guilt and do the damn thing (as Kacia says so often).

Links

If one of the biggest stressors in your life right now is that dinner time dilemma, then this is for you. Dinner time can be so much easier than you’re letting it be and it all starts with a foolproof meal plan. I used to let the dinner time dilemma send me into a spiral of depressive symptoms and anxiety attacks. Then I started getting serious about meal planning. Having the decisions made beforehand - before you’ve already had a long day, before you’re nearing burn out, before you’re hangry - can have a profound impact on the way you approach preparing dinner for your family.

Before we dive in, I want you to know a few things:

Links mentioned in this episode: 

This episode is going to get you questioning a lot about how you’re living your life, my friend. Mindfulness and awareness are key in this topic. Grab your journal, we’re about to dive in deep - you can get started by asking yourself these questions, then tune into the episode for my insight on living your day to day aligned with your purpose and priorities.

What’s important to you, what are your priorities?

Determine this by reflecting on your life’s purpose - is it to have full involvement in your kid’s lives, is it to support your husband in all he does to carry you and the family, is it outside the home, what is it that your heart pulls at you to pour your whole self into?

Do your days reflect that purpose, or are you feeling stuck in the life you’re living? What shifts can you make to step into the life you know you’re meant for? What do your days look like from the outside?

In this episode we’re talking about mindfulness in your priorities - what would the members of your family say are important to you? Would your most important thing/person agree with you that they are the most important thing in your life?

How can you shift and spend more time or energy in a more productive way to show up for what’s important? I say shift - not add more to your plate without taking something else off - or making it smaller, easier…

LINKS:

You deserve to let this be easy. Mom-life can be hard, but we don’t have to let the everyday tasks of it be the hard part. The house keeping and schedule coordinating aren’t meant to be the daily battles. Being a good mom isn’t about the perfect house or knowing where everyone’s soccer uniforms are, it’s about showing up and supporting your family by creating a home atmosphere where everyone can relax and enjoy time with one another. Most of us lose sight of that on the regular. It’s okay, we’re gonna get realigned today and I’m going to give you some great tips and tricks for keeping in alignment with what’s really important to you.

Today is the day you’re going to start getting comfortable with releasing stress over the home care tasks that you can’t always get to. You’re going to get grounded in your purpose and priorities and start living life the way you know you’re meant to. Today you will let it be easy, you will let go of what you can’t control, and you will rest as needed. Welcome to “easy mode” motherhood, my friend.

LINKS in this episode:

I’ve seen a lot of moms lately desperately searching for a solution to the toy mess, and mama, I feel ya! I’ve got 3 boys of my own - 2, 4, and almost 6 years old. These kids are spoiled by an over-giving grandma (thanks mom!) and the toy collection seems to constantly grow and I’m stuck cleaning up the mess. Or at least I WAS stuck with the mess, until I created our toy library.

I tried decluttering the toys, I tried a toy rotation (that proved to be more work for me), I tried shutting the door to the toy room and ignoring it (but they would just bring the toys to the living room)… Nothing was working.

In today’s episode I’m giving you the details on how to keep the toys contained in a toy library and keep your sanity intact.

Links for this episode 

The words we use are important to the life we are choosing to live. The way you talk about yourself matters. The way you talk about your life matters. If you want to make a change and start living a better life, to rise to a higher version of yourself, you’ve got to start talking about yourself and your life as if you’re already there.

You don’t heal your depression by talking to yourself like you’re a piece of crap. You’re not going to finally finish that project by shaming yourself about not having it done yet. You’re not going to be a better mom by constantly living in that mom-guilt you’re currently holding yourself under. You’re not going to shame yourself into your best self.

Let’s uncover your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs today. Let’s rewrite your narrative and tell a better story - the one you actually want to be living. This is your life, you’re in charge, you’re in control, and you are not your thoughts. Kick the negative thoughts out and make room for big and beautiful things, friend.

Links from this episode: 

Sometimes loving others can be hard. Okay, a lot of the time it might be hard. But luckily, we can choose to let it be easy.

It may be tempting to label others as “difficult to love,” but that only makes them difficult for us to love. Instead, we can choose label ourselves as “always loving," and make everyone easy to love simply because we've made that our nature.

In this episode we're chatting about loving others just as they are, not withholding love from them on any certain terms, and faithfully growing our capacity to love others through deep gratitude practices.

Links Mentioned

The real question here is: How do we stop being so triggered by our kids’ annoying behaviors.

When we learn to remain calm and untriggered by our kid’s fits, we can hold our boundaries and stick to a consistent model of parenting. When we give in to the tantrums we teach our kids that if they push us far enough, we’ll give in.

Are you ready to take the steps to set the right tone for your family? You’re the gatekeeper, you decide the energy of your home. When someone in the family gets panicked and worked up, are you going to join them or calm them? If you’re going to calm them, you first have to calm yourself. Stay grounded. Stay rooted. Stay chill. Even when the world feels like the walls are closing in.

Why do our kids trigger us?

We tend to be more triggered when our needs aren’t taken care of. Our kids tend to be more triggering when their needs are not being met.

Like a kid acting out because they haven’t had enough bonding time with you lately. Or crying for their favorite snack because they got too hungry and now all that they want is that one thing that they are thinking of and nothing else will make them happy.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

If you think it’s gonna suck, it’s probably gonna suck. The more you assign negative connotations to your house chores, the more you’re going to grow in hatred of them and continue to avoid them. This is something that’s been an ongoing challenge in my life, overcoming this hatred of cleaning and completing chores.

“You don’t exist to serve your space, your space exists to serve you.”

KC Davis | How To Keep House While Drowning

If your home is your source of stress, rather than a refuge from the stress of the world - if you’re home has become an idol and keeping it clean has sucked all your time and energy and you’re placing the value of a clean home over the value of time spent with loved ones, yourself, or God himself - you’ve perverted the purpose of your home. Like Jesus in the temple, it’s time to start flipping (metaphorical) tables.

Your home has a job, your home is meant to serve you, be a place of peace. When it’s become a stress, it’s time to realign and reassess how you’re spending your time while at home.

I want to share with you the practical tips that have helped me to overcome my hatred of cleaning.

LINKS IN EPISODE: 

Keep reading the show notes here: https://brittniclarkson.com/2022/08/09/29-make-chores-easier-by-shifting-the-way-you-think-about-them/

First off, let’s not confuse motherhood with house management. Managing the home is not exclusive to motherhood and vice versa, but most of us slay at home mamas do have that responsibility if running the whole home. As moms, we set the tone for the whole family. If Mom’s not happy, no one is going to be happy, that’s a simple fact of life. We don’t do it on purpose, but our energy affects those around us, we can’t help it. It’s so important to be proactive in taking care of yourself and in making plans for the whole family so I’m sharing here today my tips for setting yourself up for success as a SAHM.

They say you can’t pour from an empty cup - but yes you can mama. You shouldn’t, it leads to burn out and resentment and depressive cycles and a lack of desire to live. Moms pour from empty cups all the time. We can manage. But if we want to flourish and bloom and be our very best selves, we’re gonna have to stop doing that. We’ve got to take care of ourselves more than anyone else does, because we don’t just show up for ourselves every day, we show up for the whole family. We set the tone for the whole house. If we are about to break, so is the home. We make the home. Take care of yourself because you deserve it, and because everyone relies on you.

Links in this episode: 

I’ve been on this journey of spiritual, personal growth for a few years now. I’ve overcome mental illness, learned to live happily, and have made so much progress in how to keep house and home make in that time, but one thing I’ve been faced with time and time again is this one major roadblock: the fear of moving forward.

I have my theories why these feelings bubble up and stop us from pursuing our best life possible. It’s uncomfortable to change. It’s new and it’s terrifying, even when it’s something really, really good for us. More than anything though, I think we have a hard time facing the question: who am I when I’m not a hot mess?

If I’m not busy chasing kids all day and cleaning up behind them, if I have a moment to sit and let my brain think - what will I think about?

My dad never finishes anything - and I’ve worked so hard to fight against that instinct in myself. His shop (and surrounding areas) are always a cluttered mess - another instinct in myself that I’ve had to fight. I’ve seen him get on kicks of cleaning up and making tons of progress, then he just stops. I’ve watched this pattern in him enough to start noticing it in myself and others.

When I really started to declutter my house (still a work in progress) I noticed this anxious need to stop after any huge hurdle had been crossed - not a need to rest, a need to stop. I started with my kitchen. I downsized the amount of dishes we had so they actually fit nicely in the cabinet, I cleared the counter tops so there was no visible clutter to greet me, and shifted things around so they were in the most convenient places possible.

This completely reset the vibe in my kitchen and it felt GOOD to be in my kitchen for the first time in my life. Then I was faced with a new source of anxious energy. Instead of feeling that usual anxiety of being in a messy spaces, surrounded by “unmade decisions” as Allie Casazza puts it in Declutter Like a Mother, but a new anxious energy rooted in uncertainty about myself.

Links Mentioned: 

Read the full show notes here: https://brittniclarkson.com/2022/08/02/27-overcoming-the-fear-of-moving-forward-getting-comfortable-with-growth-and-success-%ef%bf%bc/ 

Motherhood can be draining, no one expects you to have it all together. Through therapy, Elizabeth entered the world of gentle parenting with the goal of respect for your children. This is very different from the style of parenting her and I both grew up with - the spanking, the threatening of discipline, etc.

We don't have to raise our voice to get our kids to listen. (no, really).

How we handle the mistakes of others says a lot about our character and personal development. I recently found out some news that someone I love and look up to had made some bad decisions and had a lot of people upset with her. This news was shaking me to my core in the beginning - but it’s turned into a great opportunity of growth and compassion for me.

We can’t control other people. We can only control ourselves.

One thing that I’ve come to realize is that everybody makes mistakes - nobody’s perfect. Pretty sure Hannah Montana taught me that. The best people you know have probably made some incredibly terrible mistakes in their lives. Either you’re not aware of it or you’re blind to it.

What we have to do is get into a healthy mindset about it. We have to stop ignoring it, we have to stop down playing it, and we have to stop blowing it out of proportion. We’ve got to learn to accept what is as what is and release the need to control other people.

We’re all equals here. We’re all capable of the same things. We all make mistakes. We are human. We’ve got to start giving grace to all - not just some. You’re only free when you forgive others and yourself for the past. When you release the anxieties and fears of the future. This moment right now is the only place you will find freedom. You can only be happy right now and you won’t be happy if you’re holding on to other peoples’ mistakes.

Links mentioned in the episode:

Motherhood can be hard enough - when you throw in dealing with depression and a rocky marriage, it can feel near impossible to make the right choices and show up fully for your kids, let alone yourself.

While a healthy marriage is the foundation for a happy family, sometimes we have to reframe what that means. A healthy marriage doesn’t always mean that you’re constantly in love with one another, always going on date nights, or even that you LIKE each other at the moment. A healthy marriage is sometimes simply that you’re unwilling to let it end, that you’ll have disagreements in healthy ways, that you’ll stay committed to the partnership and to parenting together even though you’re struggling to be excited to see your spouse at the end of the day.

Sometimes it’s your husband’s breathing that bothers you, sometimes you feel unsupported, sometimes he’s just not all there for you. But sometimes, even when it feels like it’s HIS problem, the solution, the healing, the growth, it all starts with you. You have to be the bigger person, you have to make changes first, you have to become confident in who you are and content with where you are to find your peace.

Emily Grace Miller is here today to chat with us about her life experiences as a mom struggling to get off the couch and determined to make her marriage work. Emily is a wife to Jesse and mother to 2 gorgeous girls. She’s passionate about living the life God has planned for her and sharing her hard learned lessons with her friends. You can find Emily hosting her podcast It Starts With You on all major platforms and posting snippets of life and reflection to her Facebook Page @EmilyGrace.Miller.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

You’re a busy mom just trying to do your best, but every time dinner roles around you can’t help but either feel exhausted from cooking that Pinterest-worthy dinner, or you’re feeling that tinge of guilt that you didn’t try harder to make sure your whole family is getting every nutrient on their plate. 

What is healthy eating anyway? Is it Keto, Paleo, Vegan, Carnivore, Organic, Whole 30, Veggies Most, what is “Clean eating?” What nutritionist Danica Mills is here to share with us today might just ease that meal time stress you’re feeling. You see, “healthy” foods are relative. It’s less about what the world says (that’s always changing!) and more about getting reconnected with your body and asking: what does this food make me feel like? 

Personally, I’ve been on a few diets (for health reasons) and while some things made my body feel better, they also crushed my spirit. It gets easy to jump full speed into these health kicks, end up overwhelmed, with a fridge full of food you’re not excited to eat, then cycle back into the unhealthy eating habits that make your body feel like a trash pit. 

Tune into this episode (or read the transcript linked below) to hear all the expert advice Danica Mills has for us busy moms who are overwhelmed by the idea of healthy eating, yet burdened by the guilt of our current food habits. 

LINKS IN THIS EPISODE

Website: www.danicamills.com 

Danica's Instagram: www.instagram.com/danicamillswellness 

Nourished Podcast: https://www.danicamills.com/podcast

Read the transcript here: https://brittniclarkson.com/2022/07/14/20-simplifying-healthy-eating-for-the-whole-family-with-danica-mills/

I have been asked so many times what my morning routine is - I’m opening up about that here in this episode. I’ve tried all the magical, miracle morning routines for the most successful day possible, and I didn’t like them. I don’t enjoy waking up to a checklist of things someone else says I should do. It’s not fun for me, it’s not authentic to me. In short, I wake up and just do the thing that feels good for me. 

The morning is when you set the tone for the day. The tone I want to set is that I’m making the choices that feel good for me - that I’m not living someone else’s life or following the blueprint for the life they have. I want to have the life I’m meant to have. I enjoy taking time to get quiet and do what feels like it’s meant for me.

Often I’ll get a burst of creativity in the morning. If I’m journaling it’s usually about business or future plans. If I’m reading the bible I’m probably finding things to share here.

Don’t go blindly copying someone else’s blueprint for a perfect morning/life. Don’t force something that doesn’t work for you. You gotta do you. If it feels good and excites you to wake up, do that!

If you’ve been failing at following a morning routine, give yourself so much grace here. Don’t beat yourself up for not fitting into a glass slipper that’s not part of your story. Live your life, not someone else’s. Seriously, if you need one thing to do in the morning, sit in the quiet, be alone in the quiet. Breathe. Don’t think too hard. Let yourself be at peace and ease. Keep a notebook and pen nearby so when things start to flow you can write them down. What you’re meant to do will come to you - it’s probably already come to you, you just haven’t been quiet enough to hear it. Stop looking all around you for what to do, look inside, let Spirit, Wisdom, God guide you. The answers are already there.

Links for this episode: 

Read the show notes: https://brittniclarkson.com/2022/07/13/19-the-only-morning-routine-you-need-to-have-a-really-really-ridiculously-good-day/

Everyday Joy Planner: brittniclarkson.com/planner 

Here’s what happens when you give up something that’s not for you anymore - you create space for growth. When I quit teaching the mini dance team, it allowed another mom at the studio to step up and take over. I’ve loved watching her blossom and bloom into the instructor she’s become - and today, she owns her own dance studio! All because I stepped out of the way, handed over the baton, and created space for her to grow in my place.

When you feel pulled to leave, when it’s not aligned anymore, it’s a sign from the Spirit that it’s time to move on; there’s something better waiting for you.

Quitting dance freed up my schedule, it freed me mentally, it created alignment, I fixed my sleep schedule, I figured out how to not hate cooking, I was freed up to start this business. If I was still giving my time to dance, I wouldn’t have this podcast, I wouldn’t have written The Happy Mom-Brain, or created The Everyday Joy Planner. I wouldn’t be doing anything I’m doing now.

Having the courage and bravery to walk away from something I loved, has allowed other women to bloom, it’s allowed me freedom to heal. Quitting has allowed me to begin this whole business to help other women heal and keep moving forward.

If it’s where you truly belong, you will find your way back. After two and a half years away from teaching and coaching dance, I’m feeling a pull to return to that space in creating something new and beautiful.

Read the full show notes here: https://brittniclarkson.com/2022/07/06/16-letting-go-of-whats-not-for-you-to-find-the-joy-and-peace-that-comes-from-quitting/ 

Today we are chatting with Elizabeth, Stress Coach for Moms and host of Emotionally Healthy Legacy podcast. 

In this episode we talked about:

The cause and effects of stress.

Choosing to live unstressed and seek peace in motherhood.

Making life as easy as possible - letting go of control over doing everything yourself and using Instacart or grocery pick up services.

You are the CEO of your home - does a CEO do it all themselves? Or do they bring on more help to grow and make a greater impact? Don't be the control freak who burns out because you're stubborn.

You can try to do it all yourself, but you're going to end up burning out, or worse. When you choose to delegate and ask for help, life becomes much easier.

You can find Elizabeth at the links below:

Emotionally Healthy Legacy Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/emotionally-healthy-legacy-stress-management-mindset/id1552289447

Emotionally Healthy Legacy on Instagram: www.instagram.com/emotionallyhealthylegacy

FREE download from Elizabeth: https://www.emotionallyhealthylegacy.com/5ways

The main thing I've learned from blogging and starting an online business, letting myself be visible, you have to accept yourself as you truly are. No more building walls, no more masking, no more becoming who you feel you need to be fine tuned to who you're talking to.

As a Peacemaker - Type 9 Enneagram, I don't like to ruffle feathers, disagree openly, or cause any kind of stress or conflict to anyone. But that's not authentic. It feels like you're tailoring the conversation to who you're with, but often it's actually you editing yourself and hiding pieces of yourself because you're afraid of rejection.

Don't dilute yourself to please others. You can't fulfill your purpose if you're constantly trying to be someone else. You are perfect for your purpose, just as you are. If your purpose was meant for someone else, it would have been given to someone else, but it wasn't. It was given to you, because it's going to take being you to fulfill it.

In accepting yourself, you must become content with where you are while still striving for progress. We don't fulfill our purpose by being distracted by negativity or comparison or ingratitude.

If you're uncertain of what your purpose is right now - begin by tuning into yourself, into your soul. Strip away all the things that have been piled on you, all the limiting beliefs, everything you've been told is true about you, and realize you are capable of anything. You are designed for this life. You were put where you are with who you're with for a reason. Get comfortable where you are, embrace your present, have joy where you are, be grateful for where you are, and you'll soon be propelled forward to step into your purpose.

Happiness isn't determined by your circumstances. It's a choice you make. You choose not to be focused on the daily stresses. Keep your eyes where you are going. Be grateful in the trials, in your gifts, in your everything because it's all moving you forward toward that purpose.

Give yourself grace - as much as you give others. You're doing the best you can with what you have. Pay attention to where you are and what's affecting you. Everything has a deeper meaning and cause.

When you stop holding grudges against the things you've done or experienced, let go of what's not serving you, quit holding the resentment and you'll find freedom. Allow yourself space to grow and room to learn. This is where you'll find who you are and who you're meant to be. 

Get connected on Insta: instagram.com/britclarkson 

Read the full show notes: https://brittniclarkson.com/2022/06/28/12-loving-yourself-right-where-you-are/ 

I recently heard the phrase: Stress is the new cigarette.

It took me a minute to really process that. Stress looks so cool. To hustle and grind and do all the things, all the time. To be "that mom" who's always got it all going on. It looks cool, until you're trying to do it all and you realize how gross it makes you feel to have no time to yourself, no white space, no quiet moments to actually connect with our kids.

Stress looks cool on the outside, until you learn what it's doing to your insides.

Chasing stress distracts us from our real purposes. We're not made to do all things, we're made to do what we're made to do. I see this with Slay at Home Mamas, trying to prioritize a clean and organized house, but our purpose is to raise them and to connect with them. We're meant to have a relationship with our kids, not to yell at them for the socks left on the floor, again.

We're meant to be the kind of person our kids want to listen to. Not to be the nag who acts like the house is more important than they are. Your perfect home (or idea of one) is a distraction.

You can be the mom who brings a bag of chips to the potluck, but has kids who are excited to go with her. Be the "fun" mom. Show up for your kids in whatever way you are called to show up for them. Your idea of successful parenting isn't going to match up with everyone else.

Keep your mindset in check. Don't let the little things become the big things. Limit distractions that are just stress for you. Check that everything you own, is serving you, not the other way around. If you're a slave to your things, you're going to be miserable (not to mention, that's kind of idol worship.... and I hear most people are trying to avoid that).

Where's the root of stress coming from? It's not coming from the things you are stressed about - the dishes aren't yelling at you to come do them, they are morally neutral. Dishes have no meaning, you decide the meaning of a dirty dish in your home.

Everyday Joy Planner: This is how I organize everything in my mind and in my life. If you're like me, you maybe have ADHD or Mom-Brain and you're overwhelmed and sleep deprived. You might feel like your brain is a bowl of spaghetti. So how do you organize everything in your frazzled mom brain?

I use a simple 3 point system to juggle appointments, marriage, motherhood, friendships, budget, household tasks, business, blog, podcast, and mental health!

I struggled with depression and anxiety for a very long time - now I keep them in check by constantly checking in with myself and questioning what's working for me and what's working against me? In the beginning it felt like checking all the boxes was more overwhelming than just being overwhelmed all the time, but I've since created this system that works for me and it might just be what works for you too.

I use a basic spiral notebook to write down all my thoughts, ideas and lists. This is where I process my dreams and ideas and goals. I write down all the projects I'd like to work on with myself, my home and my business, all in one place with no attempt at organizing it all. It's my brain dumps and notes from online teachings. This is a place where notes can get lost - so I don't write down top priority notes, like appointments.

This is a place I'll journal, or brain dump, or write out gratitude. I work towards a positive mindset in this notebook. This is a catch all - a junk drawer - for all the spaghetti and squirrel thoughts.

2. REMINDERS APP.

I created a list for each day of the week, Monday - Sunday, and I organize all my week tasks into the reminders app. I'll put in an "errands" reminder, then indent with all the things I need to do while I'm out of the house. Or I'll make a "chores" reminder and I'll list out my top priority chores for the day - like taking out trash on Monday.

Every Sunday night I'll sit down and set up my week and make sure I'm ready for any appointments, errands, or kids' events. This is where I'll schedule everything that I need to remember throughout the week.

Read more here: http://brittniclarkson.com/i-get-to-the-podcast/

Get the Planner here: www.brittniclarkson.com/planner 

Some might say the most important factors in a healthy relationship are honesty and trust, but I'd challenge that and say the two most important habits in a healthy relationship are mindfulness and communication. Mindfulness, put very simply, is paying attention. This can be paying attention to yourself and your own needs, thoughts, feelings, wants. And it can be paying attention to others, their needs, thoughts, feelings, desires. 

One key part of mindfulness, paying attention to where people are coming from in their actions, is giving grace in those actions. We have this awful habit of distracting ourselves and repressing emotions instead of taking the time and effort to process them. Ignoring our needs and emotions leads us into the spiral of anxiety, burnout and depression. 

When you ignore the whispers of your body and spirit, they become screams. Just like when your kids don't listen the first 50 times you ask them to do something, so you say it a little bit louder and they don't understand why you're "being so mean." It's the same thing with our own needs. 

There's a lot of great guided mindfulness meditations to help build the skills of listening to your mind, body and spirit. Journaling is another great exercise for this. Check in with your three selves - body, mind, spirit - and think about how you're really feeling in each area. Brainstorm why you're feeling these ways and how you could fix what's not working for you anymore. Pray for guidance from God, Spirit, or Source. But remember, your steps can only be guided if you're willing to move. 

The second part of this is communication. Now that you understand what's going on inside you, it's your responsibility to explain your behavior to those around you. Let your kids know when you're not having a good day, show them how you take time for yourself to heal. This shows them how to do that for themselves too. 

I've seen the greatest impact in my marriage from communicating EVERYTHING with my husband. There's so many things I didn't think my husband would really care about or understand, or I didn't take the time to understand either, but when I started to explain my thoughts and feelings, my behaviors made more sense. Opening up in vulnerability to let my husband into what's really happening in my brain has been the single best thing for our marriage. It's brought us closer together and helped us to spiritually grow together. 

If you deny intimacy (either spiritual or physical) with your husband and provide no explanation, your partner is likely to blame themselves for your lack of interest. People internalize things and blame themselves when there's no other explanation. Don't be afraid to admit you're stressed out about a tv show, or gassy, or whatever it is that's got you feeling in a funk. Don't hide the purest parts of you from your love. 

Read the full ShowNotes here: http://brittniclarkson.com/2022/06/16/8-two-helpful-habits-for-a-happy-healthy-relationship/ 

Last June was the last time I hit a major depressive episode. I was really ready to leave it all behind and take the express ticket out…Honestly, I chose not to mainly because I don’t trust anyone else to raise my kids.

I want to be here for them and to raise them in a home that they feel okay to feel. As a boy mom its really important for me to allow them to express their emotions, to let them cry and to feel supported in that rather than shamed. The only time I won’t let them cry is when they throw a fit because they want a toy or a snack - my mantra for them is “it’s okay to cry for sad, but it’s not okay to cry for want, that is not how we ask for things.”

I grew up in a home that didn’t talk about feelings. I watched my mom struggle with her own depression and she never told me what was going on, but tried her best to hide it from us. That’s probably where I got the idea that I needed to hide my own struggles and had depression for 8 years before I ever got help for it. I want my kids to have a different experience, I am open with them when I’m not feeling right - not just with depression, but with anger or burn out, I make what I’m going through clear to them and want them to feel comfortable talking to me if they ever experience anything like this. I don’t just want to make them aware that I’m going through something emotionally or mentally challenging, but I want to show them how I’m getting through it. I want them to have these tools too.

When I decided not to end things, I felt like I’d been baptized in the rain - it was raining that day if I didn’t mention that already. I heard God speaking to me that I wasn’t done and I had a work to do.

He’d pulled on my heart for years, literally years to use my writing as a platform for Him and I just never figured out how or what exactly I was supposed to be doing. This is why I already had a blog going, but content was all over the place… I took some months to work on myself and put together my mental health toolkit - if you don't have one of those, you definitely need to put one together, it’s like having a first aid kit for your brain, you wanna have it before you need it.

At the beginning of 2021 everything kind of clicked together and I heard from God again and He told me what to do. Pretty loud and clear. He wants me to be open and vulnerable about what I've experienced, because I’m not the only one. That’s why I’ve converted my own mental health toolkit into a 3 week workbook to help other moms.

Motherhood is hard, but it's only as hard as we let it be. Watching our kids struggle, learn the hard way, or be in pain should be the hard parts. The daily duties of maintaining your home, entertaining your children, and feeding your family should not be the hard parts of "motherhood." 

You do not have to overcomplicate your dinner plans. It's OKAY to prep food ahead of time, to take shortcuts, or even have dinner cooked by someone else. Your worth is not tied to the level of skill and effort put into dinner each night. Let this be easy. 

When you look for things to be hard, they will be. If you decide to see beauty and blessing, that's what you'll find. Don't mistake your privilege as a punishment. Motherhood is beautiful. 

Everything can be made easier when you let go of black or white thinking - perfection is not your goal, let that go. Be authentically yourself in every thing you're doing. It won't be perfect, but it will be beautifully you. Let it be as it is, let it simple. 

Realize your life and purpose is not in the mundane tasks of your day. These are simply steps along the way. Your purpose is bigger than cleaning up the mess. Your purpose is yours to decide - but I promise it's bigger than the task you're overcomplicating and stressing over. This stress is a distraction from fulfilling your purpose, don't let it steal your energy and focus. 

1. Take the time to decide your intention. If you don't know where you're going, you're not going to get there. Reflect on what you want your legacy to be, what is it that you want to be remembered for? How can you pursue this everyday of your life? Put your purpose in the leading role of your life. 

2. Limit distractions from your purpose. If deciding what's for dinner stresses you out - make a meal plan ahead of time. If toys are out of control and causing you stress - create a toy library to limit the mess made. If you're stressed at the thought of actually cleaning the house - hire it out. 

3. Practice gratitude. Take time everyday to really focus on what's going good in life. Focus on the good and you will see it more. 

Find Allie and her courses at www.AllieCasazza.com 

What do you do when that spark in your marriage has fizzled? You light that candle yourself. Sometimes healing happens when we realize we're the ones extinguishing the flames of our own happiness. You're responsible for your own self, friend.

Often times we get into thought patterns that are not helpful. We notice that our husband isn't going out of his way to romance us and we think that's a sign he doesn't love us, instead of trying to understand him. My husband spends most of his day at work, this means his mind is filled with work tasks and responsibilities all day - while I'm the one at home filling my mind with household tasks and parenting responsibilities. This means I have to give him some grace in household tasks and parenting responsibilities because he can't spend as much time thinking about them and it takes more time for him to make a change or shift in these areas. 

Focus on the good - what do you love about him? Fill up a journal page with all the reasons you love him and are grateful for him. 

Go out of your way to love him first. Nothing's going to change if nothing changes. He will follow you and show you more love when you show him more love. He will reciprocate. Pay attention to how he tries to show you love. Everyone speaks a different love language, have the discussions you might need to have to help him start to show you love in the way you hear it best - and you do the same for him. 

If you need something from him, tell him. He's not a mind reader and likely doesn't have the mental capacity to put together the subtle puzzle you're trying to set up for him. Save time, save stress, just tell him exactly what you need from him and why you need that. 

Let him see your crazy. Let him know all those thoughts and feelings you have. This is how we grow in intimacy - through vulnerability. 

"Intimacy is about truth, when you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare, and their response is 'you're safe with me' - that's intimacy." - Taylor Jenkins Reed

Hey friend, when life starts to feel heavy and complicated, my favorite place to get grounded and centered is outside. Nature is a great source of calm and wisdom. There's a reason we are so drawn to it as children. 

Some tips to get grounded with nature:

Get close to the soil, put your feet in the dirt and let those ions neutralize! 

Take a long, hot shower for some hydrotherapy and to quantum leap (it's not as woo woo as it sounds, it's actually a powerful mind trick). 

Let your kids get dirty. It's so good for calming the highly energetic and sensitive child. 

Not only are there physical benefits to nature, grounding and hydrotherapy. But God is so present in nature. He created it - it made it for us and he made us for it - we are meant to coexist with nature and to learn from it. One thing I've learned from nature is that perfection isn't necessary to fulfill your purpose. Let life happen and let life be beautiful. 

More about earthing: https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding#takeaway  

Surviving burnout and depressive episodes isn't easy, but it's possible and it's worth it. 

In today's episode I'm sharing how I get through the rough patches in motherhood. 

For starters, let it be easy. Drop the guilt over lowering your expectations and conserve your energy so you can focus on what's really important in your life. 

Prioritize connection with your kids during this time. So what if laundry is piled in the kitchen sink and the dishes are on fire. Focus on family and love when you're totally over being overwhelmed. Watch Disney movies, play games, hide away in a blanket fort. 

Share your struggles with your kids. You don't have to tell them everything, but you can be honest with them and tell them you aren't feeling great and that it's okay. Sometimes we can't show up for people the way they need us to, but it doesn't mean we don't love them. Show them how you heal, so they will know how to heal too. Break the generational curses. It ends with you. 

Talk about mental health with your kids, so they understand that it's okay to talk about mental health. Sometimes burn out is more than burn out - reach out for professional help if you're struggling with depression. BetterHelp is an amazing resource for speaking with a licensed therapist. 

Yes, it's me Brittni Clarkson from Meant to Bloom - just podcasting under a new name, with a more solid foundation and certain direction. I'm so glad you're here! 

Why did I choose to rename my show? Because Meant to Bloom doesn't need my face on it anymore - Meant to Bloom is going in a new direction and will involve maybe a dozen or more authors and creators working to empower and encourage women. 

Why did I choose I Get To? Because it's the first time I ever knowingly made a mindset shift for the better. I realized I GET to be the one my husband comes home to, I GET to be the one who takes care of the home while he's away, I GET to decide everything about my life, I GET to choose happiness. I am responsible for my own life, and I get to have the life of my dreams. 

I'm here to encourage you to follow along, shift your mindset, make life as easy as possible, and savor all the sweet little moments along the way. 

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