Bulletproof Hustle with Darnell Brown

Join me in welcoming a very special guest: Dayana Aleksandrova. She's a multi-passionate entrepreneur, business coach, speaker, and copywriter for 7+ figure brands. Last but not least, she's a friend and creative soul sister to me.

In this game-changing episode, Dayana walks us through some of her darkest moments, which unexpectedly led her to a life of entrepreneurship--and the #1 reason she takes immediate action when an idea takes hold of her. It's clear that Ms. Aleksandrova personifies the bulletproof ethos.

It's hard not to be deterred whenever life happens. Emotional intelligence, perspective, and equanimity help me cope with all those "life happens" moments I'll experience this week, maybe even today. You too, and eventually, life won't shake you as much as it did in prior years. But we have to put the work in first through daily conditioning under pressure. Let's talk about it.

Deep focus requires several things working in sync with one another: intentions, organization, reflections, and clarity are some of the biggest ones. But we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment when we lead with a distracted mind and a chaotic schedule -- aiming to focus on any one thing for a good chunk of time. There's a path out, though, which brings us to this episode...

Ever question whatever you're telling yourself in your own head every morning and every night as you lay there in bed? Why you think about yourself one way or the other? Why is this the song you have on your repeat in your mind's radio station? What you say about yourself, to yourself, plays a vital role in the actions you do or don't take in life and in business. Let's get into it.

What you already prioritize, you're already good at because you're already consistently doing it. The big question is whether your priorities are deliberate or defaulted. Intentional priorities are the ones you're activated by. Default priorities keep you on the hamster wheel. Let's get into it...

To respect your hustle is to respect your discipline, your practice, your trade, and your skills. You’ve gotta discard what no doesn’t matter and keep what does, block your time differently, and focus on just one thing at a time. Think you can handle it? Let's get into it...

One of the things I struggle with is this recurring desire to help everyone while realizing I can’t. Something's gotta give. I landed upon a strategy that works well for me when I start to slip back into the 'must-help-everyone' habits. In this episode, I share it with you.

During certain seasons of our lives (adolescence, young adulthood, etc.), we look for validation from everyone but ourselves. We let what they see influence how we see ourselves. We expect too much of people and give up our own agency and influence as we become at the mercy of others. Loving and valuing ourselves from within is how we take our power back. Sometimes, what we seek, only we can provide.

To reach a true revelation, magic moment, or threshold, we have to go beyond what we think are our limitations. There's some juice in our tank that we haven't even tapped into yet. We don't even know what's at the bottom of our reservoirs. Everything you've been up to until this point... everything you've done is just the standard; the cost of entry. Crossing the breakthrough to know what you're made up of and breathing rare air requires that extra (metaphorical) pushup, and that's where the real work starts.

What's up, folks!? After an extended 7-month hiatus where both lots and little has happened, I'm back. Big changes coming to the pod this year. Changes like...

• Special episodes featuring special guests, some of which have already been recorded.
• Switching to a seasonal release pattern going forward.
• Evolving this into a creative entrepreneurial, and process-driven pod (still highly motivational, though).

But for now, I hit you with my first episode in ages, which is appropriate for this time of year. So let me not keep you from listening to it any longer.

I finally made it to my centennial episode! (After taking like 6 weeks off from podcasting, ha!) Let's move on... *Bernice Mac voice*

A lack of confidence will kill a great idea before you’ve even taken action on it. Good news is this entrepreneurial plague is treatable, if not curable. I prescribe these 3 antidotes to The Doubt Virus. Then you can live your truth and earn their love. Feel free to get a second opinion, as well.

In case you ever wondered, representation matters. When you're used to seeing yourself reflected within the popular content you consume, this is probably not something you think about much. For those of us on the fringes or whom are only most recently starting to be acknowledged across entertainment and institutions, representation is long overdue.

I'm no expert on this topic because my experiences have been so unique. I'm more of the exception than the rule, yet I understand and agree that there are some seriously underserved groups. I want to see more folks who look like me in the content I consume. Leading roles in movies and TV. Leading positions in their careers. We need to see examples of what we can become since we aren't always supported at our homes and in our communities.

There are many truths you could focus on today. Few are altruistic. Some are helpful. Many are indigestible. We can only consume one truth at a time, so we have to choose wisely. I choose to emphasize the truths that empower me and lower the volume on the ones that paralyze me. Or else I'll go crazy in an unjust world. Here, let me explain...

An uplifting story told poorly can really muck things up. I should know. I had an opportunity to inspire a student. Instead, I came off sounding privileged and unrelatable to a colleague. How did I mess this up? I had one job! As per usual, after going beneath the surface, I realized this one was on me. But I learned something new and in this episode, I share that with you.

If you're waiting on some sort of sign to flat-out tell you exactly what you need to hear, in the way you need to hear it, at the most opportune time, that's unwise. Life doesn't work that way. As tempting as it may be to request someone's blessing before you try something new and/or something that is risky but fulfilling, you're vastly stunting your growth. Instead, we must become our own closest advisors and give ourselves permission to venture into the unknown.

It's hard not to be deterred, give up, and throw in the towel when "life happens". Emotional intelligence, perspective, and equanimity can help cope with all those "life happens" moments you'll experience this week. Like a lot. Eventually, you won't be as phased...as shaken as you had been in prior years. But we have to put the work in first through conditioning. Let's talk about it.

Every intention, goal, or idea you can't quite get out of your head wants to be born. The first action you've gotta take in giving it life is to document it by any means necessary. That's how you get it from your mind and into our physical reality. Be it in a journal, on a napkin, or as a promise to a friend, it becomes a pledge and is on its way to being crystalized. Come get some encouragment.

When the times are toughest... when the storm's raging... when you really don't wanna do *that* thing... that's when your grit matters most. It's easy to feel pumped after watching an exciting TED Talk and after everything is already going our way. But when life gets in the way, we sometimes fail to remember our training. This is your reminder...

(And yes, I'm totally gonna act like I didn't publish any podcast episodes over the past several weeks, lol. Let's move on! *Bernie Mac* voice.)

During certain phases of our lives (namely adolescence and becoming young adults), we look for validation from everyone but ourselves. We let what they see influence how we see ourselves. We expect too much of people and we give up our own agency and influence, as we become at the mercy of others. Loving and valuing ourselves from within is how we take our power back. Sometimes, what we seek, only we can provide.

In case no one told you... In case no one gave you permission... In case you're not feeling supported right now... You. Are. Enough. And you always have been. You're also more than you ever thought was possible. Has believing any less gotten you any further? I didn't think so. Listen in for this reminder of your power and run it back whenever you're feeling low.

Instead of trying to be fearless, we'd do better to acknowledge the fear of the unknown, but proceed anyway, so that we may resolve the conflict. Each obstacle presents you with a changeover from one act of your story to the next. When viewed this way, it makes your story more interesting and grants you some agency in the outcome.

You've heard it before. So much to do. So little time. Yet I've seemingly already lived many lives. But I haven't yet time traveled. Nor space traveled. Nor made an exquisite culinary dish. Nor scored a movie/series. Nor met some of my heroes. Maybe I will get to knock out more these items on my bucket list. And I hope to keep contributing to society in other ways beyond the stuff I'm doing now, though I'm not complaining. That said, I do still got a lotta life left, so we'll see what happens.

The broader the goal, the less likely we are to achieve it. Specificity within our goals and intimacy within our journeys toward those goals are how we make things more probable. What you see as success may be different than me, but that's a good thing. It should be personal. Distinct. Subjective. Your path is your path and no one else can walk it. Start with you because there are levels to this. Make success smaller.

I am overly-sensitive. I lose sleep over small things. I care what you think. I have thin skin. I prioritize my businesses more than my friendships. Plus many other flaws. I suppose, I'm only human. After this episode, I hope you continue to take me as I am. Let's get into it.

Becoming an entrepreneur doesn't mean you don't have a boss. It means you sacrifice one for a few of them. Or several. So that you're never at the mercy of any single "boss" in case one of them "fires" you. Yet, entrepreneurialism is about so much more than where we fall on the totem pole. Resilience. Discipline. Foresight. Amongst other things we cover in this episode. So take a ride with your boy as we dive into a new type of employment we must understand and devote ourselves to, if we ever hope to be successful at running our own businesses.

It's been a minute! Needed some time off. And during these last several weeks, I've thought about something... In our quest to create a life we don't need a vacay from, the inverse can end up happening. Case in point: me. I've went for years at a time without vacations, promising myself that I'd do it the next year, then the next one, and so forth. But time off doesn't need to feel so fantastical and elusive. We can bake a vacay into our lives daily with a little imagination, creativity, and discipline. Join me as a share a few ways you too can unwind and do things other than work during your workweek. 

Think not in terms of resources, but instead of resourcefulness. Many of us from humble beginnings learned to work with what we had available and turn them into fuel. Focusing on what we lack doesn't serve us. It's how we use what we can access to our advantage to propel us higher, further, faster. All it takes a little creativity and remixing. Ride with your boy...

The things you're doing (or not doing) during your time here are creating your body of work. Your legacy becomes the stories of others because your efforts live on in the minds of those who succeed you. Those stories are rooted in the moments and memories you leave people with. When you recognize this truth, you realize you have enormous power and purpose to put your best foot forward.

With so many opportunities... so much of humanity and its contributions to the world to study... so many interests and priorities... it's impossible to touch it all in a single human lifetime. So what's a person to do? Experience as much as you can by finding the right balance that works for you. That could mean being intentional and present with just a few things per quarter or year and then switching gears for the next cycle. Or sticking with those things because you enjoy them so much. Point is not to overwhelm yourself or multitask beyond your bandwidth. What's worked for me is to find that happy medium between my interests and priorities. I'll explain...

Some incredible things can happen when you just *show up* to your aspirations. Or even that thing you dread doing. In either event, you might realize it isn't as grueling or taxing as you thought it to be. But everything starts by putting yourself in a position you can't talk yourself out of. Showing up to that workout. Showing up to that promise you made your mom. Showing up to your side hustle. See what happens. You just may surprise yourself. And once you do, it's time to show out and show them what you're made of.

How can you ever be bored? How can you ever not know what's worth your time and energy? How can you not have anything better to do? Opportunities are everywhere. If you just take a look around and show some interest. When we're hung up on our bad habits and unhealthy routines, we're blind to these countless opportunities that become immediately obvious when we get clear.

To develop any muscle in any organism, there has to be some resistance that the muscle is going up against. To produce stronger muscles, we need triggers. And to develop in life, obstacles are the triggers. Pressure. Surprises. Challenges. Roadblocks. Barriers. All forms of resistance you're sure to face daily. So welcome them, for they bring with them priceless gifts you can only receive once you make it out to the other end. Tune in. I'll explain. 

We sell *all the time* without even realizing it. Any time you put someone else onto something you know about, you're selling. When you tell your friend, we should eat at *this* restaurant, you're selling your friend on why you all should eat there. When you tell your kids to go outside and play instead of toying with their iPad all day, you're selling your little ones detoxing from their devices for a minute. When you ask someone out on a date, you're selling that person that it'd be worth their time to spend it with you rather than whatever they were gonna do. So as we can see, sales are *so* much more than monetary transactions. At its purest, selling is the act of convincing someone to take an action you want them to take. Here, let me explain...

I don't talk money on this podcast. Except for on this special episode. But this is a concept that my noodle has been stewing on for the past few years. And at its essence, wealth is really about options and opportunities. I stand on the shoulders of some great colleagues and mentors who've put me up on game. Now it's for me to share what I've been learning with you.

Can't think straight? Burdened by obligations? Got too much on your plate? Overwhelmed by your commitments?

Try the simple act of straightening up your immediate workspace or vicinity. Suddenly, everything becomes clearer. For a clear mind and spirit produce great work. Let's talk about it...  

Because if you did, you've have done *that* thing already. Yet, you wanna give me excuses. Whether we're talking good habits or vices, whatever we care about, we become successful at - almost without exception. So we're all "successful" at certain things because we all prioritize something, even if it's just a habit. If we're not proud of the things we're successful at, we have to replace our current priorities with better ones. And we should check in with ourselves quarterly to see if our priorities have changed. When we *do* care enough, anything's possible.

Attack of the Doubters! They're everywhere and the more things you attempt to accomplish, the more often they appear and the more vocal they become. As logical as their words may seem at first listen, you must never trust a doubter. Instead, you must be your own closest advisor. Your own voice of reason. How? By changing the station. Ride with me...

Whether we like it or not, we're all in the business of sales. From trying to convince your kiddo to eat their veggies at dinner to trying to persuade an investor to hand you millions of dollars to market your app - you're still selling something. But to sell anything, you need trust. And to be trusted, you need to be well-branded. How do you get there? Let's break it down...

When the world is falling apart around you, it is during these times that it is most critical than ever to practice true bulletproof hustle-ness. The events at the U.S. Capitol last week show us that 2020 ain't quite over, as neither are plenty of other issues haunting USA for the past several hundred years. There must and will be accountability of those who continue to commit misdeeds. To the rest of us, I urge emotional intelligence in spades. Let me explain... 

This is the story about a boy who was told he would become king. You may think you know how this story ends, but you might be surprised at how stranger than fairytales life can be. Ride with me. Let me take you on a journey...

Did you miss me? Just kidding. It's been a crazy past few weeks. But in a year like 2020, is anyone really surprised at this point? My evolution this year has accelerated. I feel more enlightened than ever, yet as conflicted as ever as well. Things are messy. Though this is quite a freestyle episode, you know me, I always try to drop some gems on you by the end. This story continues with the subsequent episodes. And I hope you'll still indulge me.

Life isn't fair. But you already knew that. What you might not know is that through all that each and every one of us goes through, we must find a way to push forward through anything and everything. How? To expect that anything could happen. This leads to less disappointment when things don't quite go our way. Something we all could use a little more of. And when the worst doesn't happen, we're left pleasantly surprised. What a neat way to live.

Does what you do, day in and day out, actually matter in the grand scheme of things? When your work actually means something, you'll know it, because you'll feel fulfillment. Guess we'll just call that "ful-feel-ment". Doing things that matter. To you. To your loved ones. To your colleagues. To your community. This is meaningful work. Me? I ain't got the time for anything else. Meaningful. Work. Only. Ride with me...

Is risking nothing to actually risk everything that could be? I mean, are you not entertained? We can spend our entire lives spectating from the sidelines, watching the show - judging those with the courage to express themselves and their art. Or we can participate in the game of life, taste a dose of our medicine, and take a risk that could lead to a reward. I choose the latter every day of the week. How about you?

Your story never truly belongs to just you. You are at most a co-author since those who tell stories about you are like the editors and ghostwriters you never knew you had. This is why who you are and what you do is much bigger than you. Your legacy, good or bad, is ever-changing during your livelihood. Doing your best ensures your legacy is accurate and in alignment with your efforts.

I'm not competing with you. I'm not competing with the legends we admire. I'm not competing for a trophy, bragging rights, or social media likes. Why? Because there is no competition for any of us other than who we were yesterday. That's who I'm up against. Long as I'm a little better, further, more improved, more selfless than yesterday, I'm good. Same with you. And when you do that, you're out-performing the norm. No need to compare yourself to anyone. Be the incomparable soul you already are.

That voice in the back of your head has its place, but you've gotta let it know who's boss. That voice's primary role is to keep you safe. To save you from public embarrassment. To save you from bruising your ego. It doesn't believe in taking chances, just mitigating risk. But has that ever served anyone in the business of innovation and wonder? Nah. It hasn't. Which is why every now and again, we gotta kill that noise so we can spread our wings. Ride with me, I'll explain...

If I've achieved more success than you, it's only because I've had many more failures. And that only means that I've had more experiences than most. It doesn't mean I don't fear failure, I just focus on the lessons and pursuit of growth, as it is life's greatest teacher and a necessary part of the process. Only then is the success we're after actually attainable.