But Where Are You Really From?: An Asian-American Struggle

So much of your experience as a child influences you as an adult. Having grown up in a typical Asian immigrant family, we felt like we never received the love that we wanted. But how should we carry that experience forward in an evolved way?

In this episode, we dive into how we can unlearn childhood trauma. Childhood trauma can express itself in adult behaviors that you don't quite understand. It can cause you to experience sudden anxiety, anger, or other unexpected emotions as a reaction to certain triggers. While these emotions are mechanisms to protect ourselves, we recognize that they can also stand in the way of happiness.

Looking into the future, we want to own and grow beyond our childhood trauma. We want to free our children and future relationships of having to deal with the same issues that we did, and even turn our learnings towards improving our current relationships with our parents now that we are adults ourselves.

What is the hardest thing you struggle with on your journey of self-growth and unlearning your childhood trauma? Let us know in our comments on social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

New York, Tokyo, London, Seoul - what do current modern metropolises have in common, and how does the speed of modernization change the flavor that each city brings to the table?

We look at how modernization of cities can change the cultural landscapes that give big cities their personalities. Angela recounts her recent experiences living in Tokyo and Seoul, exploring what these futuristic cities trade off in culture for modern architecture and towering skyscrapers. Jesse contrasts this with New York and some of its purposefully "un-modern," historically-preserved institutions that draw visitors to the Big Apple.

Change can be a harbinger of things good and bad. How do we bring cities into the future while maintaining or even building upon the original cultural aspects of a city that make it unique?

Do you think it's worth modernizing at all costs, even at the expense of losing a city's culture? Let us know in our comments on social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

How deeply engaged can you be with a country's culture without being fluent in the local language? Can concepts of culture be divorced from language, or will there always be something missing without a linguistic understanding?

In discussing our Asian identities, we've always known that we don't quite fit in in the motherland. The local cultural nuances that make you feel that you "belong" are difficult to pick up during short visits. On top of that, understanding these cultural nuances also requires a deeper knowledge of the language & vocabulary (in our case, Mandarin) than we have. Oftentimes this disconnect leaves us feeling like we're unable to explain our inner thoughts and feelings.

We talk about how invalidating it feels to know what you want to say, but at the same time be unable to express yourself in a way that's known to others. We connect this experience to our parents' journey immigrating to America and the challenges they faced understanding English and American culture.

Is there something that you also feel like is "lost in translation" between English and your mother tongue? Let us know by connecting with us on social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

Growing up in an Asian family can feel like you're starved for attention all the time. You can never get the same exact "love" that you see your non-Asian friends at school receive. But looking back, maybe there was love - we just didn't know how to see it at the time. While we were looking for words of praise or a close friend relationship with our parents, they showed their love in other ways. They obsessed about our academic ventures, worried over how much and when we ate, and - as we got older - constantly followed up with us about small life decisions. And while there were difficult moments growing up in this kind of love, we've found ways to shift our perspective on how our parents love us. As our parents grow older, and we (Angela) prepare to be parents ourselves, we continue to think about the lessons of love our parents gave us. What are some unique ways that your parents showed you love? Connect with us on social media and let us know!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

Angela has been a digital nomad for the past 2 years, and half of that time has been spent abroad in countries where she is quite literally a "foreigner." However, this episode is dedicated to reflecting on her recent experience going back to Taiwan (her family's motherland) as an adult with her husband and non-Taiwanese in-laws, and all the ways she felt like a foreigner despite *almost* fitting in.

We discuss the difference between visiting the motherland as a child with your family as your personal tour guides vs. wading the waters on your own as an adult. We also talk about how as American-born kids, language is naturally a barrier for many of us even if we can speak "like a native" accent-wise, because we don't always have the necessary vocabulary to function like a normal member of that society since we didn't grow up there.

Join us as Angela recounts her experience, and let us know if you know what she's talking about! Drop a line in our comments on social media with what your biggest hangup was going back to the motherland, and/or if you've noticed any differences visiting as a child vs. as an adult.

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

We've chatted many times before on the pod about how food has such an intimate connection with culture. Food can evoke so many strong memories and strengthen the feeling of connection with your culture. So as one of the main sources of Asian groceries in the US, what does HMart's meteoric rise in the US mean to us as Asian-Americans?

In this episode, we bring you through a brief history of HMart and its massive expansion across the US, and delve into how the experience of shopping at HMart differs from that of both western grocery chains like Kroger, as well as that of other specialty grocery chains like 99 Ranch Market. We also discuss how the experience at HMart presents a unique melting pot of different kinds of shoppers, from ajummas who immigrated from Korea to young Asian-Americans trying to connect with their cultural roots.

With the proliferation of specialty grocery stores like HMart providing access to cultural connection points to more and more people, we hope you can share with us your favorite memory of shopping at HMart or another specialty grocery store. Sound off in our social media comments with your favorite memory!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom 

Have you heard of ChatGPT, the new AI chatbot that's been taking the world by storm?

What exactly is ChatGPT and how is it different from past AI bots? Why is everyone so excited about it? Does it really have the ability to replace people's jobs?! In this episode we break down what ChatGPT is in the simplest, "normal" people terms, discuss the various ways people are using its creative abilities to enhance the work they already do, and speculate on if it's really possible (and if so, to what extent) for it to completely replace humans in their current roles.

Have you had the chance to play around with ChatGPT (chat.openai.com)? If so, what's the craziest thing you've used it for, or gotten it to say?! Let us know in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoufrompod and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

NOTE: We are NOT sponsored by OpenAI or anything related to ChatGPT. We're just super fascinated by this topic so we're discussing it.

What is it about relationships and love that pique so much interest in all of us? We know that our listeners love to hear about topics related to our love lives, but what's so interesting about these topics anyways?

In this episode, we chat about the mystery of love and why the idea of love has such a hold on the imagination. We believe our listeners tune in for the realness of the topic, but also to gain more insight on how to approach their own relationships, since navigating relationship challenges isn't something a lot of people openly talk about. Of course, we know that people also love to consume juicy love life stories in romcoms and reality TV dating shows.

In the end, the only way to know why you're so drawn in is to listen to your own heart. Let us know in our social media comments what aspect of love and relationships is most interesting to you that you want us to cover next!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom 

Hot take: the Japanese sci-fi series "Alice in Borderland" is a better version of Squid Game (and came out first!)

Netflix's "Alice in Borderland" Season 2 dropped at the end of 2022 and we need to talk about all the wild things that happened. The show is centered around main character Arisu who's stuck in a dystopian world in which the majority of the planet has suddenly disappeared, and he and the other survivors have been thrust into death match-style games in order to fight for their lives. Season 2 ups the stakes, teasing a potential way out. 

Needless to say, this is a SPOILERS filled reaction episode, so if you have not seen the show and care about watching it for the first time, we encourage you to catch up on the series and then listen to this episode :) 

From what we think about the shocking ending, to pondering about how Chishiya's platinum blonde hair could stay so perfect the whole time, we talk about everything that jumped out at us this season. 

If you're all caught up, we'd love to hear what you thought about the season/series and what surprised you the most. Let us know in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

----------

TW: This episode contains discussion about sexual violence depicted in the show. If you don't want to listen to this part, please skip 18:02 - 25:28.

Gwen Stefani created quite the controversy in the US when she recently doubled down on her claim that she "is Japanese," but for the most part, actual Japanese people and those outside of the US don't understand what all the fuss is about.

In this episode, we revisit Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Lovers past and pick apart why claiming Asian culture & identity has different implications for Asians in the US vs. Asians living in the actual country/culture being taken from. How can something that is clearly seen as cultural appropriation by Americans be seen as cultural appreciation by those living in the actual country of origin of that culture? 

Is there a right or wrong way to think about this? What do you think? Let us know your thoughts on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom 

It's the final episode of the "season!" And what better way to close out a holiday season than to talk about quirky things around gifting?

Giving gifts is such a fun part of any culture, but it can be governed by many invisible rules you might not be aware of. With our Asian upbringing in mind, we recount typical gift-giving situations amongst our Asian families. From the right gifts to the wrong gifts, we discuss all of the hidden elements to gift giving in Eastern culture. While some things are quite obvious, such as unlucky words or numbers, there is a surprising amount of untold mannerisms behind certain gift exchanges.

Of course, it wouldn't be a typical episode without also contrasting with our experience of gift-giving in Western culture. Through our discussion, we found a surprising number of gift-giving rules to overlap between the cultures. In the end, it seems like gift-giving is a way to communicate all kinds of positive intentions - no matter what culture you find yourself in.

Have you ever found yourself in a foreign gift-giving scenario? Let us know in our comments on TikTok or on Instagram with your thoughts!

Follow us on TikTok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

How much do you know about couples counseling or couples therapy besides what you may have seen in trashy reality TV representations? To us, it feels like couples therapy is still a rather taboo subject, despite the idea of individual therapy gaining more mainstream acceptance. So what do you do when your relationship is facing repeated issues that you're not able to solve, but you're embarrassed to ask friends or family about professional help?

Today we're sharing our personal experiences with couples counseling/couples therapy, and we hope by talking transparently with you about it, we'll encourage those of you who have been wanting to seek out help, to do so. From why we were initially interested in seeking out this resource, to different methodologies that we've encountered, to how it's different from individual therapy, to how we found our resources, to if we think couples counseling/therapy is really necessary for all couples... we open up about it all!

Are you interested in couples counseling? Are you already in it? What has been the most valuable thing you've gotten out of it? Or why would you NOT want to seek out this resource? Let us know in the comments on our Instagram or TikTok!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

----

Resources we discuss (not sponsored):

Self-love and self-care go hand-in-hand, but how do we find a way to embrace these concepts authentically? 

In thinking about the self-work that we've done, we talk about how self-love and self-care relate. The podcast has always been about our struggles and introspection on the different aspects of our identity - even the parts we aren't fond of. Embracing all the different aspects of who we are can be difficult and messy, but doing so is the only way to truly find compassion for yourself. 

In finding yourself, we also discuss the importance of not using self-care as escapism. Maintaining a healthy balance between external and internal validation will ensure self-care doesn't end up in self-indulgence. 

How do you feel you relate to yourself? Let us know in our comments on TikTok or on Instagram with your thoughts!

Follow us on TikTok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

Is there a reliable way to predict what's coming in the future? Sometimes, we just need to look to the past to inform what changes we might see soon! 

In The Fourth Turning, authors Neil Howe and William Strauss postulate that four unique generational archetypes govern the changes we see in American history. Each generation's development is informed by the events and social conditions of the previous generation. The archetypes feed into each other cyclically, creating repeating patterns of growth and decay. 

Angela and Jesse reflect on how the archetypes do and do not resonate with each of them. They discuss when the current phase of historical events will end and how the world might look after this current world "turning" or "season" ends.

Which archetype do you fit in and does it resonate with you? Chime in on our comments on Tik Tok or Instagram what your thoughts are!

Follow us on Tik Tok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram @whereareyoufrompod

We're all searching for the "one," but what if there was more than one "one" for you out there? What would it take to work it out with multiple loves in your life? 

We've talked about dating and open relationships before, and we're taking it one step further with a discussion on polyamory. Many of you brought up this type of relationship structure on TikTok when we discussed open relationships, so in this episode we talk more about how this structure works and is different from other structures. Polyamorous folks may have more than one significant relationship in their lives. Some of them might have a more hierarchical relationship structure, while others split their time evenly among their various partners. Relationship structures are a very personal matter - Angela and Jesse both weigh in on why or why not they believe polyamory might be a good fit for them.

Is your curiosity piqued by this topic? Chime in on our comments on TikTok or Instagram with your thoughts!

Follow us on TikTok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

As many of you know, Angela has been living that digital nomad life for the past year and a half. 

In this episode, we talk about how the pandemic has opened up remote work possibilities, including how governmental bodies (from countries down to cities) are trying to attract this newly mobile class of workers through generous digital nomad visas to literally paying people to start families to counteract declining fertility rates. 

We then discuss the pros and cons of this new way of life for both remote workers themselves as well as for the local residents of these places that are becoming hot spots for this massive influx of nomadic workers (i.e., Portugal, Mexico City). Is the short-term economic benefit of welcoming these remote workers' dollars enough to justify gentrification and cultural erasure? How come governmental bodies haven't worked through policy to strike the right balance?

What do you think about all this? Are you a digital nomad yourself? Or, do you live somewhere that's changed massively since the start of remote work migration? Let us know your thoughts in the comments on our social media accounts!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

*Podcaster Notes:

Have you ever thought about what racism looks like in other countries, especially Asian countries? We're exploring that this week through the lens of Angela's travel experience in Korea and Japan, as well as stories told by those living in these countries.

Racism is a difficult subject to broach in largely homogeneous countries. While there are certain small pockets of non-local workers and expats, it can be difficult for certain actions or associations to be considered racist. In many cases, socioeconomic disparities play into these discriminatory perspectives, creating a separation between the majority and minority that could be seen as racist.

We discuss the many different ways racism can exist in these homogenous Asian countries - from colorism, to blatant discrimination of Southeast Asians in East Asia, to xenophobia.   If you've ever felt othered living or working in another country, we'd love to hear from you. What do you feel rings the truest for you?

Let us know in our comments on Tik Tok or Instagram what your thoughts are! 

Follow us on Tik Tok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram @whereareyoufrompod

It's spooky season! Are you a fan of All Hallows' Eve? Do you love to watch horror movies and spook yourself with scary stories? If so, this week's titillating episode of Asia-based Reddit horror stories is just for you.

Jesse shares his scary story find about a young group of travelers camping in the wrong forest in Japan. Angela follows up with her own frightening tale of a sleepless apartment haunting in Taiwan. Will our story subjects escape their ghostly hauntings and live to tell the tale another day? 

Do you have a spooky tale of your own? Let us know in the comments on our Tik Tok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom or on our Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod !

*Note: Angela misspoke about the area with lakes/views of Mt. Fuji. It is called "Fujigoko" or "Fuji Five Lakes")

Do you ever wonder where the soul goes after you die? Do you believe that there is a life between lives that you could experience as your soul-self? This week's episode is focused on learning more about that specific experience - a life between lives regression.

Angela walks us through her experience with this type of regression therapy as a step up from our previous discussion with her about her past life regression experience. We discuss the different insights she gained while undergoing this hypnosis therapy as well as the different sensations and visuals of the experience. While regression is a different spiritual experience than commonly known, you'd be surprised at the common ground you'd find in the learnings and revelations. 

Let us know in our comments on Tik Tok or Instagram what your thoughts are! Is it too woo-woo, or are you fully on board? Let us know in the comments! 

Follow us on Tik Tok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram @whereareyoufrompod

Are we in a recession?! Whatever you wanna call it, things sure are expensive right now!

In this mini episode, we invite Angela's husband Ramon back on the show to weigh in as someone who follows macroeconomic trends closely. We start by clarifying some confusing economic terms that are flooding the headlines right now: inflation, interest rates, recession, currency devaluation, GDP, and more. We then talk about the disconnect between the messaging we're hearing from the press (i.e., "the economy is strong!") vs. the pain people are actually experiencing in their day-to-day lives with regards to skyrocketing gas, grocery, and home prices. 

Are you feeling the squeeze? Let us know in the comments on our Tik Tok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom or on our Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

Have you ever wondered if you could know your best friend even more deeply? We're going to answer that question for you this week as we play 36 Questions to Fall in Love for our 100th episode celebration (we only had time to answer 20 though, lol!). 

It's both incredible and humbling to have been doing our podcast for over 2.5 years. What started as a pandemic hobby has really grown into an amazing way for us to express ourselves and connect with a larger community. The questions to fall in love cover a huge variety of topics, from warm ups like who you would like as a dinner guest to more thought-provoking ones like your best and worst memories. 

If you think you know a lot about us, wait til you dive into this episode of juicy questions! What answer were you most surprised by?

Let us know in our comments on Tik Tok or Instagram what your thoughts are! Do you love us now, or love us more now?

Follow us on Tik Tok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram @whereareyoufrompod

With the red hot popularity of Korean content flooding the market now, did you know that Netflix's new "Money Heist: Korea" is not a standalone original, but rather an adaptation of the widely-celebrated, Emmy-award winning Spanish version ("La Casa de Papel" aka "Money Heist") that just ended the year before?

While it's well known that Hollywood has ripped off countless pieces of non-American media for its own blockbuster remakes (i.e., The Ring, The Departed, Lake House, various anime adaptations), this habit of lifting entire storylines certainly goes both ways.

Where do you draw the line between homage and appropriation when it comes to taking creative liberties to adapt a piece of content for a different audience?

Let us know in our comments on Tik Tok or Instagram what your favorite adaptation is, or which one you think is the absolute worst... what do you think makes something an homage vs. an appropriation? We want to hear it all!

Follow us on Tik Tok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram @whereareyoufrompod

In this episode we mix two controversial topics together: religion and racism.

Friend of the pod Keith Koo (previous guest on EP#21 Adulting 2.0) joins the show to share a whirlwind situation he's been in for the past year and a half involving freedom of speech within the church.

He was wrongfully terminated from his role as a volunteer teacher by his church for "bringing race into the church" by using last year's Atlanta spa shootings (that claimed 8 victims, 6 of which were Asian women) in one of his lessons as a relatable real-life example to his class of predominantly young women of color. Countless accusations have been hurled his way, from being "more loyal to China than the U.S.," to "not knowing what racism is," Keith has truly heard it all. Despite this, Keith continues to push forward in hopes to encourage more people who have experienced racism within places of worship to know their rights and speak up for themselves. 

Though neither of your podcast hosts is Christian, we felt this topic was important to cover as it affects a part of the community that may not know how to speak up for themselves otherwise. Religious institutions and those in power are often guilty of brushing crimes and other misgivings under the rug in hopes of preserving their image and maintaining power. We hope people of all spiritual leanings can find hope and inspiration from this episode. 

You can reach Keith at info@svin.biz and learn more about his radio show ("Silicon Valley Insider") at https://www.svin.biz

As people who struggled hard to successfully pay off our own student loan debt, we aren't thrilled with Biden's new student loan forgiveness plan, but not just for the reasons you might think.

We are in fact happy for the one-time beneficiaries of this program because we know how hard the road to repayment can be, but there's a lot we're not so pleased with. Namely, the lack of attempt to fix the core problem behind the broken higher education system extorting young people for everything they're worth.

What do you think about the new plan? Let us know in our social media comments! Follow us on Tik Tok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

Tensions between Taiwan and China have been high since essentially the beginning of modern-day Taiwan as we know it (circa 1949). But if you've been following the headlines of late, you'd have seen that things reached a boiling point in early August when Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi paid a visit to Taiwan and became the highest ranking US official to do so, seemingly challenging the One China policy.

In this episode, we start with a TLDR of the history of China-Taiwan tensions, followed by a discussion around the One China policy and the ambiguous nature with which the various world powers adhere to it, our reaction to Pelosi's visit, and our predictions as to whether or not this visit and the ongoing war in Ukraine may encourage China to finally push for reunification with Taiwan.

As Taiwanese-Americans whose families have a longstanding history tied to the island nation, we certainly have a vested interest in whether or not Taiwan can stay independent.

Let us know what you think about all of this in our social media comments! Follow us on Tik Tok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

-------

Notes & Corrections:

What the heck is a "himbo?!" 

We're discussing the rise of the Asian himbo (male bimbo) as an evolution from the traditional portrayal of Asian men in western media.

How did we go from sexless and nerdy characters like Long Duk Dong ("Sixteen Candles") to ultra hot but super dumb characters like Jason Mendoza ("The Good Place")? How do we feel about this change and where do we hope representation will go from here?

Tell us who your favorite Asian himbo is in our Instagram or Tik Tok comments!

Follow us on Tik Tok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

What does the promise of America look like in 2022? 

For some, the promise of the American dream still rings true. For others, the idea of America is beginning to wear thin. In honor of 4th of July weekend, we revisit what being American means to us and how that's changed since we first did this episode a few years ago. We dive into the transformative changes the country has gone through - culturally, politically, and socially. We also re-evaluate the strength of our American identities and where those identities are currently rooted. 

Finally, we reflect on the positivity we have seen in Americans this year. Listen in to hear red, white, and you - 2022 edition. 

Where in the WORLD is Angela?

Angela and her husband Ramon have been on the road for more than a year now as digital nomads! We catch up with her in her current home base in Korea, as they wait for their next stop (Japan) to open up for tourism.

We discuss what it's been like as an Asian-American who is NOT the local ethnicity to live in that country - from language barrier, to potential assumptions about identity, to expectations, and more. We also touch on highlights of traveling so far, including the logistics required to make digital nomad life work - from work arrangements, to savings, to maintaining relationships.

If you've ever wanted to peek into a digital nomad's life, tune in this week to hear more!

Have you been following the recent cascade of dumpster fires in the crypto space where the entire ecosystem has been taking one beating after another, first with the crash of Terra, followed shortly by the Celsius fiasco? (Don't worry if you have no idea what I'm talking about. Read on...)

Though the crypto hype has been real for quite some time now, many people still don’t know much about what crypto really is or why people care about it. In this episode, we finally invited Angela’s husband Ramon to join the show to explain crypto to us like we’re 5 years old!

We go over so many fundamental topics, like what crypto is backed by/what gives it value, what exactly the blockchain is and what miners do, what web 3.0 is, what digital property rights are and why we don't currently own any of our own information online, the benefits and downsides to crypto (including debunking several myths!), and so much more!

You can follow Ramon on Twitter at @ramonrecuero

Note: This episode is NOT financial advice. All content is meant to be educational and informative, but always do your own research before investing in anything.

As a twist on our usual "Asians Doing Cool Sh*t" subtrack, while Angela is living abroad in Asia, we're finding Asians *in Asia* doing cool sh*t to hear from!

Sunbin is a Korean-born Korean who has split many of her formative/developmental stages going back and forth living in the U.S. and Korea. In this episode, we discuss what her experience has been like as a third culture kid, technically holding a Korean passport, but feeling culturally more American. 

While most Asian-Americans we've talked to who have lived both in the motherland and in the U.S. have usually lived a more cleanly split life (i.e., grew up in the motherland, moved to the States as an adult), Sunbin's trajectory was a lot more complex. Having grown up in the U.S. from ages 18 months to 11 years old, moved back to Korea for middle school and high school, back to the U.S. for college, then Korea again as an adult for work... it's a whirlwind just trying to keep up! Tune in to hear her perspective on things like struggles with being accepted for how she speaks her native tongue, the importance of immersion and truly understanding each culture, academics and work as a returning "foreigner," and so much more!

Does it feel like things are spinning out of control sometimes? You're not alone! 

This week we discuss how being on social media has put us in a 24/7 fast-paced lane. With all of the different things happening around the world, having access to all of that information can be overwhelming. We discuss the ways that we have dealt with all of the news anxiety as well as what we have done to reconcile the privilege gap between our lives and the lives of others.

Listen in to find out how we're dealing with life, IRL. 

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be in an open relationship and what it's all about?

This week we put Jesse in the hot seat as we discuss the topic of open relationships. We put it all out there as we discuss our own opinions and experiences with the open relationship concept. From why you'd want to be in one to relationship agreements to managing jealousy, Angela asks all the questions you've been dying to know about open relationships.

Is an open relationship right for you? Tune in and find out more!

The Internet has made wonderful things like our podcast possible, but what are the downsides of the world wide web?

This week we discuss the shadowy world of internet trolls and how the constant stream of negativity can have a real impact on mental health. We explore the mounting pressure from anonymous commentators as we have expanded across social media. From icy comments to pure vitriol, we examine where these comments come from and why it's so easy to share hate on the internet. 

If you've ever dealt with cyberbulling, and you need to talk to someone, please reach out for help. Some resources for our listeners:

**This is the Mandarin-based audio interview with our moms, available for those who are able to speak our mother language! For those who aren't able to, please head over to our YouTube version of this episode where we provide the English subtitled version of the video. Alternatively, you can listen to our shorter English recap of the episode where we reflect on our discussion with our moms (without our moms present)**

YouTube video ep: https://youtu.be/bEUFbDP4I_g

----------

Happy Mother's Day weekend and start of Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month!

To celebrate, we had two incredibly special guests on our show... our moms!

We get to know our moms better in terms of what their childhoods were like back in Taiwan, what they wanted to be when they were younger, what they thought of our dads when they first met them (lol), the hardships they went through both growing up and eventually immigrating to the U.S., what their hopes and dreams are now, some fun stories from back in the day, and much more.

Tune in to get to know both Mama Lins better, and we encourage you to go out and ask your mamas more about their lives too :)

Happy Mother's Day weekend and start of Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month!

To celebrate, we had two incredibly special guests on our show... our moms! Because we recorded the episode with them in Chinese (Mandarin), we also recorded this shorter English recap for those who do not speak our moms' native tongue. With that said, if you do speak Mandarin, feel free to either listen to the Mandarin audio version, or watch the English-subtitled / Mandarin audio video on YouTube! (The latter is what we encourage all of you to do, in fact, so you can get the legit stories from our moms themselves :))

We get to know our moms better in terms of what their childhoods were like back in Taiwan, what they wanted to be when they were younger, what they thought of our dads when they first met them (lol), the hardships they went through both growing up and eventually immigrating to the U.S., what their hopes and dreams are now, some fun stories from back in the day, and much more. 

Tune in to get to know both Mama Lins better, and we encourage you to go out and ask your mamas more about their lives too :)

If you could go back and revisit another life, would you? 

This week we sit down with Angela and recap her experience with past-life regression. She recounts her journey to experiencing her past lives and the lessons that she's learned from this therapeutic adventure. 

We dive fully into the ins-and-outs of this hypnosis-based therapy, from the prep work required beforehand to the actual feeling of experiencing a past life. 

If you've ever wanted to learn more about past life regression, listen in!

They say the only way out is through, and we are truly still going through a lot when it comes to COVID-19.

Two years after the initial rolling wave of shutdowns, what have we and the world collectively learned? 

In this episode, we reflect on both the positive and negatives that COVID-19 unleashed upon the world. From government responses to the "end of COVID" to the mental health debt, we talk about it all - and hopefully for the last time. 

Join us for this retrospective on how COVID-19 has forever changed our lives. 

Everything Everywhere All At Once is maybe one of the best movies we've ever seen...?!

Starring the legendary Michelle Yeoh, this movie is seriously unlike any other. Your podcast hosts were lucky enough to be invited to watch advanced screenings of this multi-verse movie, out now. 

This episode is a (largely) NO SPOILERS review of the movie, discussing the major themes that stood out to us without revealing specifics around the scenes so as not to ruin the movie for any of you (the only spoiler section is at the very end where we discuss our favorite parts of the movie, and we call it out very obviously, so hit stop before if you want to avoid spoilers!). 

We discuss how huge of a step forward this movie was in terms of authentic representation for not just the Asian community, but also for all inclusive media moving forward. We also discuss the complex relationships between parent/child and with oneself, musings around the existential question of why we're all here and who we really are, the way queerness is represented in such a nuanced way, and so much more. 

This movie truly covers everything everywhere all at once, and we absolutely loved this thrill of a ride we went on and hope you will too!

There is a war being waged on Ukraine, and we need to talk about it.

In this episode, we are joined by an anonymous Russian civilian to discuss the ongoing war in Ukraine. Did you know that even calling this war "a war" can get a Russian citizen thrown in jail for up to 15 years? It's heavy stakes to speak the truth, and we are so grateful to our guest for being brave enough to do so.

We start with a brief recap of how we got here, including historical and recent events, and the entangled relationship between Russia and Ukraine that led to the start of this war. We next speculate what factors led to Putin deciding to take such extreme action (including yes-men, COVID isolation, and believing your own propaganda), how divisive the war is amongst Russians, especially along socio-economic/education level lines, how the Russian state has stepped up its propaganda and censorship since the war first began, what economic sanctions actually mean for the people of Russia, how all of this has affected our guest personally, and how/when we hope all of this ends. 

Note: The original intent of the episode was to have both a Ukrainian guest and a Russian guest on simultaneously to provide both sides' perspectives, but unfortunately given the realities of the sensitivities and dangers around discussing the war, we were unable to secure a Ukrainian guest in time. If you are Ukrainian or know someone who is and would like to share your story/perspective on what's going on and how it's affecting you and your loved ones, please reach out to us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com, as we are open to recording a follow-up episode with a Ukrainian guest, and/or send us your story in written form and we can read it on the show as well.

It's our 2 year pod-versary!! 

We are truly in awe that we've made it this far, and so much of that is because of all of the support from you, dear listeners!

In this episode, we reflect back on "then and now" in terms of why we started the pod vs. what keeps us going now, our favorite guests, topics, and formats, what our future goals are for the pod, how this community has expanded over the years, and a whole lot more. Join us to celebrate reaching this milestone and continuing to grow this amazing community!

Must...eat...brainssss!

On another edition of "Go Home We're Drunk," we raise a glass to the cinematic adventure that is Train to Busan. We wanted to revisit one of the older zombie films that's now source material for the current wave of Korean/zombie content being consumed by global audiences ("All of Us Are Dead," anyone?!). 

With a meticulous ensemble cast, dramatic story pacing, and powerful emotional arcs, join us as we recap this zombie-rific movie and hear why we think Train to Busan is more than just a zombie slasher.

Head over to our YouTube Channel to watch the video episode - find it in our link in bio on Instagram at: @whereareyoufrompod

Who else obsessively watched Sailor Moon growing up? We did!

We're rebooting our previous format of "Go Home We're Drunk" where we drink on the show and discuss stuff! In this rebooted format, we're watching Asian content across the board and reviewing what stood out to us, problematic/weird things we noticed, our favorite characters, etc.

In this episode, we watched Season 1 Episode 1 of Sailor Moon Crystal, aka the reboot of the original Sailor Moon series that's on Netflix. We discuss our thoughts on 14 year olds being drawn like full grown women, booby demon enemies, the lesbian relationship between Neptune and Uranus that was censored in the US, and SO much more!

P.S. If you didn't know, we also post our video episodes to YouTube where you can watch our shenanigans like Jesse spilling his drink all over himself on camera :P

Check our link in bio on Instagram for that and all other links: @whereareyoufrompod

Wheel! Of! Fortune!!!

Who hasn't thought about taking a lucky spin and peering into their future? This week we talk all about traditional fortune-telling from the motherland (as told indirectly to us by our parents) and how it contrasts with Western styles of fortune-telling. We explore the different themes of traditional fortune telling, from arranging one's surroundings to become more auspicious to the usage of animals in luck-based divination. We also dive into why a fortune teller might be utilized and what purpose they serve other than to foretell your future. 

And finally, we reveal whether we would be interested in having our fortunes told. 

Spin that wheel! 

Did you know that there are actually two forms of written Chinese - simplified and traditional? 

We're bringing you a schoolin' lesson this week (while we teach ourselves too lol), diving into the differences between simplified and traditional Chinese. We take a look at the history of the divergence between the two forms, from the origins of simplified Chinese and han yu pin yin (aka the phonetic system used to "spell" out Chinese with English letters), to how current students learn the language depending on the Chinese-speaking region they grew up in. We also examine the differences in usage, distribution, and structure of the written language itself. 

For the fortune cookie sweet treat, we end the episode by sharing what we think are the strangest simplified Chinese characters compared to their original (traditional) forms.

Ready for your weekly lesson?

"No, but what's your REAL name?!"

Have you ever been asked that question by someone who didn't believe your English name was your "real" name because you're Asian? We have! 

This week we discuss what it was like growing up with both English and Chinese names, what our Chinese names are and what they mean, the process our parents went through of choosing them back in the motherland with the help of fortune tellers, and how relatively little thought went into our English name selections, conversely lol.

What's in a name, anyway??

No, neither of your podcast hosts is imminently about to have a baby!

...but, as we get older and move into different stages of life (i.e., getting married, friends having kids), it's certainly something we're thinking about. 

With that said, we have vastly different opinions on if we will have kids and for what reasons. Listen in as we discuss our different perspectives on the matter, as well as the various pressures we do or don't have to face (i.e., biological clock, continuing family legacy, parents getting older, etc.), how those are different coming from a straight vs. LGBTQ perspective, challenges that are often unspoken about in the "having kids" process whether that's via natural birth, adoption, IVF, surrogacy, or other... and a whole lot more!

Write us in with your opinion on the subject, or if you have a particular experience you want to share with our audience about your journey with having kids, wherever you are on that timeline and spectrum! Email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com

----

*Podcasters' Note: A listener has brought to our attention that some of our remarks around adoption may have come off as insensitive to adoptees and their experience. This was certainly not our intent, and we will take time to educate ourselves more about the adoptee experience so that we can be more inclusive and sensitive towards these different stakeholders and perspectives in the future, especially given the number of Asian-American adoptees in the US (1 in 10 Koreans). If you're interested in learning more about the adoptee experience, you can check out the links below. We're grateful to the listener who brought this to our attention and shared these resources!

Can you turn a job as a model into a career across many industries and nonprofits?

In this episode, we are joined by Pritika Swarup who has done exactly that! Pritika is an international fashion model, Founder/CEO of Prakti Beauty, and global ambassador for Operation Smile.

We kick off the discussion by asking Pritika about her experience in fashion, and how being a visible minority in the industry has inspired others who ⁣have seen her in the limelight. We also discuss how she took her experiences in fashion and her upbringing as an Indian-American and funneled that into creating her own modern Ayurvedic beauty brand, Prakti Beauty, to bring Indian beauty to the masses. 

We close the episode by talking about all things Operation Smile. Pritika walks us through how she became involved with the non-profit organization that helps children rediscover their smiles, and how Operation Smile empowers even high school students to make a difference. She discusses the various missions she's been on with the organization and how rewarding it's been to see the positive impact being made to uplift communities all across the world.

⁣
Follow Pritika on Instagram at @pritikaswarup, Prakti Beauty at @praktibeauty, and Operation Smile at @operationsmile !

Raise your hand if you had to learn how to date virtually via Zoom/FaceTime because of the pandemic!

In this episode, we interrogate... err, interview... Angela's good friend Michael about what his experience was like dating over Zoom during the height of the pandemic, and how that compared with "real" (IRL) dating. We can all imagine the drawbacks that virtual dating can create, but tune in to hear some surprisingly positive outcomes Michael got out of being forced to date in this strange new manner!

If you wait til the end, you'll also get to hear him recount his most standout/horrible Zoom date. Trust us, it's hilarious and worth it!

P.S. If you're based in the LA area and think Michael is cute based on his voice (or if you watched the video episode on YouTube), he is still single so hit us up if you're looking for a Zoom date ;)

What do we find when we quiet the mind and look inside ourselves?   

With so much hustle and bustle on the daily, it's hard to take time and really listen to our inner selves. But once you do get in touch with your inner thoughts and feelings, what do you do? Co-host Angela returns from a ten-day silent meditation retreat to help answer this question.   

What does a silent meditation retreat even entail?   

In this episode, we interview Angela on her silent meditation journey (specifically, through the "Vipassana" meditation practice). From what the retreat grounds were like to the experience of complete silence and observing the self, we dig into how silent meditation helps to calm and control the mind. We unpack the different ways that silent meditation tempers our reactions to certain emotions and sensations, helping us to better respond to stressful or difficult situations.

Let it s-NO, let it s-NO, let it s-NO! The holidays are here but cheer is somewhat missing! 

The holiday season has always been a mixed bag for us. There's so much being thrown at you about how to feel, what you should be doing, and the enjoyment you should be having. The reality is that many people might not be feeling the holiday glow. And feeling apart from that can make the season's greetings more of a  "f*ck you" than "happy holidays."

So why do the holidays exert such an emotional pull on us?

In this episode, we explore why the holidays can make us feel lonely and othered. We take a look at how we've spent holidays traditionally and compare it to how we're told the holiday experience should be. While we discuss the darker side of the holidays, we also unpack how our own desires and reactions feed into the negativity the holidays can sometimes bring. 

Have you ever tried special K? And no, we're not talking about the cereal!   

Growing up, we've been told in many ways that drugs are inherently dangerous and harmful. But having experienced some substances first hand, we've come to the conclusion that some drugs can actually be beneficial. Some can help you deal with trauma, while others can just add more fun to your weekend.   

So why are all drugs so maligned?   

In this episode, we explore why we think drugs have such a bad rap. We evaluate our own experiences with substances, and we also discuss inequity in access and possession of substances that have healing potential. As we explore what a positive and nurturing relationship with certain drugs might look like, we also discuss ways that previously taboo substances might find a healthy purpose in the current society.   

Disclaimer: we're well aware that not all drugs are good, and we spend time discussing ones that have been detrimental to society and have added fuel to the fire in the ongoing war against drugs.

How risk-seeking vs. risk-averse are you? 

As we've gotten older, we've generally trended towards being more risk-averse, being scared or unwilling to put in the effort to try new things. However, after respectively going through our mid-life crises within the past few years, we've been rejuvenated and inspired to take on new risks to change course in our lives.

For example, did you know that Angela quit her job and is making this podcast her full-time gig?! 

In this episode, we speculate about why it's so hard for people (including us) to want to try new things, what we felt was lacking in the way we were brought up (both by our parents and society) that contributed to this lack of risk-taking, and what new things we are trying ourselves imminently. 

We know, we know, we're late in discussing Squid Game... but we still think it's a worthwhile topic to discuss because of all the different levels of influence the show has had on making "foreign" content mainstream for a global audience.

We speculate on why we think it was such a runaway success and why it resonated with so many people across all different global/cultural backgrounds despite similarities with existing other shows/movies (i.e., Alice in Borderland, Hunger Games, Hostel), the hotties in the show and their impact on elevating Asian men's attractiveness in the eyes of non-Asian viewers, the ways the show broke stereotypes or the presiding societal narrative, and much more. 

If you're still shaking trying to carve out the shape in your dalgona candy, strap yourself in and join us in this conversation on Squid Game and the (hopefully) positive impact it'll continue to have on Asian and multi-lingual/multi-cultural content in the future!

We're baaaaack! Did you miss us? 

For the first time in our podcast's history, Jesse and Angela are actually recording in the same physical location, so we're trying out new stuff and re-introducing ourselves to all you dear listeners! We're playing everyone's favorite classic.... ice breakers! But frankly, they may be some of the most random ice breakers we've ever answered. Gotta love the internet, amirite? We like to call this the "But How Well Do You Guys Know Us Anyways?" game. Hope you find the ep entertaining and learn a little bit more about your podcast hosts!

We're also making our podcast available as video episodes on YouTube, so head on over to our YouTube channel to watch how the shenanigans played out IRL!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYW-ofQMgYyNE1Qd-JN8cIQ

Follow us at:

20 years have passed since the horrendous events of 9/11. It feels like ages ago, and at the same time, just like yesterday.

For most of us, thinking back on 9/11 brings back sad memories of a vulnerable time for our nation. However, for Arab-Americans, those feelings go even further because there is a clear delineation between life before and life after 9/11 in terms of how welcome and accepted they have felt by American society. 

In honor of the 20th anniversary of this landmark day, we invite Arab-American guests Anna Masad and Ziad Elsahili to discuss their memories of 9/11, and the impact that the consequent Islamaphobia ignited by that date has had on their lives immediately after the incident, as well as the continuing biases they face to this day. From being racially profiled at airport security because of their names to explicitly being called derogatory terms for cheap laughs, we discuss all the subtle and direct ways that being Arab in America is distinct from the experiences of those from other communities.

On a more positive note, we end the episode by discussing ways in which we see hope for more acceptance of the diverse range of communities in the U.S. as a result of the more open conversations we as a nation are having around race relations, diverse perspectives, and generally thinking outside of oneself. 

----

For those still reading, let's dedicate a moment of silence and respect to all those who have lost their lives, family, and friends on 9/11 and in the 20 year long war we're finally closing the chapter on. Thank you to all the heroes who have fought for, and continue to fight to keep our country and our allies safe. 

Have you heard of the "lie flat" or "tang ping" movement in China? It's a movement among young people that first cropped up in April 2021 largely in reaction to China's infamous 9/9/6 culture (working from 9am-9pm, 6 days/week), and has since been reported on widely by western and eastern media. 

Young people are rejecting the ideas they've been sold on what makes for success and happiness - constantly hustling at work to move up the ladder (even at the expense of your personal life and mental well-being), marriage, family, owning property, etc. Instead, they favor living a life in which they are getting by, but not striving for much more. 

In this episode, we dissect what this movement is, we speculate about why it came to be and how prevalent it really is, and we relate the sentiment back to our own struggles in terms of the pressures facing the millennial and Gen Z generations of conforming to a traditional definition of success and happiness. 

We end the episode by postulating what our own definitions of happiness are. 

We've spent a lot of time investigating our own perspectives of what it means to be Asian American. But what does being Asian American mean to other Asians across the world, and how does the larger Asian diaspora think of race and identity?

We're joined this week by Cherrie from With Chinese Characteristics podcast to dive into this topic. We kick off the episode by asking Cherrie to explain her experience transitioning from the majority in China to a minority individual in the US. Along the way, we ask her to reveal the most amusing and the wackiest experiences she has had as an Asian American individual. We also look into how the disparate ethnic groups in China think of each other, and how socioeconomic divides reinforce divisions between and within ethnic groups. 

Join us at the close for the Fortune Cookie, where we ask Cherrie to spill the secrets on how Asians in Asia really perceive Asian Americans. 

You can listen to With Chinese Characteristics podcast on all major podcast networks! With Chinese Characteristics is a podcast where co-hosts Cherrie and Natalie discuss interesting topics involving China and Asian-Americans. 

The idea of "saving face" is so foundational to Chinese and broader Asian culture that it's often difficult to accurately describe in English words and within a western context. Shame? Disgrace? The opposite of bringing honor to your family/community? 

How do you explain the importance and impact of such an underlying, community-first concept to a "me first" western society? 

In this episode we break down what "saving face" or avoiding "diu lian" (in Mandarin) means to us, how it's driven some of our big life decisions, and the amount of pride or disappointment those decisions have brought onto our families and communities. Though we don't agree with everything around the idea of saving face, we also discuss some positive elements of this concept that we think are valuable and that we would want to pass on to future generations. 

Acupuncture, gua sha, ashwaganda - as a lot of East/South Asian medicine become more popularized in western society, we wanted to discuss what happens when East meets West.

This week we discuss Chinese medicine, Ayurvedic medicine, and "traditional" aka western medicine with special guest, Dr. Sandeepa Mullady, an Indian-American neurologist who is trained in western medicine but who is very spiritually-centered and grew up seeing Ayurvedic doctors.

We discuss how the thousand years-long practices from Eastern medicine are focused on preventative care, maintaining the balance of mind, body, and soul, whereas western medicine continues to make impressive technological advances but is largely focused on fixing what is already broken. How have these two sides of medicine started to integrate with each other, and what benefits can we gain from utilizing both? Listen in to find out!

Note: Opinions of Dr. Sandeepa Mullady are her own and not affiliated with her place of work.

Dating can be a minefield of expectations, both from yourself and from your culture.

This week we're exploring what it means to date outside the race, and why we would want to (hint, hint: societal pressures growing up telling us what was attractive played a huge part). While our parents had expectations of who we should be courting, the reality of not living in our motherland is that those expectations tended to fall really short. We dive into this and other ideals our parents had about who we should date based on their cultural upbringing. And we certainly brought our own glamorized images of our potential partners to the table, omitting many of the challenges that come with dating someone who comes from a different background. We look into these internal goalposts and how they influenced our desire to (or not to) date outside of the race. 

Lastly, listen to the end to hear about the most difficult cultural concepts we've had to explain to our partners in the closing Fortune Cookie. 

We always like to end on a sweet treat, but why not dedicate an entire episode to one? This week we're talking about boba or bubble tea - the delicious dessert imported from our motherland Taiwan. Prepare for a history lesson, as we open the episode with a look into how boba came to be and how it found its way to the United States. As such a ubiquitous treat, we discuss how this tasty snack is actually entangled with Asian culture both here for Asian-Americans and in Asia where it originated. Of course with its rising popularity, many new shops have taken boba to the extreme - and we review all of these new fads. Finally, we share our favorite boba orders with you, listeners - try them out! 

Sorry y'all, we're not talking about XLBs (xiao long baos) today - in fact, we're talking about the Taiwanese universal health care system and the colloquially referred to "jian bao," which is the health insurance card every Taiwanese citizen carries to get access to these services.

We introduce how Taiwan was able to reform their health care system in the 90s to provide universal health care, what benefits its citizens gain from this system as well as the drawbacks for not only citizens but also the health care providers themselves, and then we speculate about why we think this sort of system could or could not be adopted by the United States. 

Have you ever wondered what your college degree has done for you?

Well, so have we! It has been such a contentious topic that we decided to turn it into an episode! This week we're talking all about college education - our personal experiences as well as our perspective on how our parents viewed it. We discuss the investment versus payoff of matriculating at a name-brand school, both from an undergraduate and graduate level. We also dive into what we actually got out of education, whether it's actual knowledge or just street knowledge. Finally, we take a look at popular new forms of education and how that could transform the traditional Asian studies pathway into something more.

Tune in and educate yourself! 

Would you like to play a game....about Asian TV and cinema? 

This week we're bringing you a fun new game show format co-hosted by Raymond Luu and Renee Ya from Reel Asian Podcast! We compete in a semi-free-for-all, semi-team-based game where we answer questions regarding all things Asian-American pop culture as it relates to celebrities, fun facts behind popular films, and plots from Asian TV/film. Along with shenanigan trivia, we share some must-watch Asian media and talk about how Asian representation in cinema has transformed. Finally, we close with a recap of some of the comically worst representations of Asians and yellow face in throughout recent history. 

What's the winning team get? You'll have to tune in to find out!

In honor of 4th of July, we wanted to examine where we are as a nation and if there's still hope for all of us to come back together after a very divisive past 4+ years... 

We discuss an often underrepresented (up to half) of the country that self-identify as independents, moderates, and/or centrists, and how a lack of strong identification with either extreme of the political spectrum has left many of them feeling underrepresented by the two-party system. We also discuss some hot button current issues (further restrictions on voting, $15 minimum wage), and how there is a lot to agree on in terms of the problem and the desire to find a solution, but where we often get stuck is the *how* and a lack of a trust in our elected officials to properly execute on these visions. We end things by postulating on if we feel hopeful for our country coming back together in a less divisive way in the future (spoiler alert: we do, with time). 

As always, we are not proclaiming to be experts on these matters by any means, and we always welcome feedback, especially from those who are much more informed! All discussion is simply our personal opinion on these matters :)

Arranged marriages are often thought of as an archaic relic of the past. But what impact does the cultural and historical relevance of this practice have on the marriages of today? This week, we'll attempt to answer this question with our special guest, Shibani Joshi. Shibani is an accomplished business and technology journalist, lecturer, and professional speaker, and is an Indian-American who has had first hand experience with trying to reconcile with checking off all the "Indian-approved" boxes and the realities of what it takes to build a successful marriage. 

We dive into the roots and perceived benefits of arranged marriages, as well as how they operate in India and the US. We also examine the cultural context of marriages in general, including how perceptions of marriage and divorce differ. Finally, we look at how we can reconcile personal happiness and cultural expectations in pursuit of love and marriage. 

Frank Striegl is Founder of 5AM Ramen and Tokyo Ramen Tours. We discuss what it was like growing up as a bi-racial Filipino-American in Japan, how he found his place within Japanese society, why he is obsessed with ramen and built a business centered around it, and how the pandemic has given him a unique opportunity to think creatively about his business and other ways he can share the joy of ramen with people around the world.

We are now entering the third decade of our lives - that's right, yours truly(s) are both in their thirties now.

But what's the big deal about the big three-oh anyways? In our opener to season 4 (!), we take a look at what it means to be in our thirties. We discuss some of the most anxiety-inducing topics associated with this decade, from job choices to personal life decisions. Listen to the expectations we set for ourselves as we compare where we are today to where we thought we would be. And finally, join us as we try to forecast the next decade of our lives - the forties. 

While we recharge and plan out new content for upcoming episodes, we wanted to take this opportunity to introduce you to other awesome voices from the AAPI community. This week, we're featuring Reel Asian Podcast, a podcast dedicated to exploring the stories and themes of Asian and Asian-American film. 

In this episode, the Reel Asian Podcast crew took a look at the timeless anime epic, Princess Mononoke (1997). Directed by the legendary Hayao Miyazaki, this instant classic touches upon themes that are still very relevant today, such as environmentalism, capitalism, and our personal responsibility to the natural world.  They also talk about their favorite anime growing up, and who "won" Princess Mononoke. 

Follow Reel Asian Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts!

Warning: NSFW topic ahead!

We are putting it all out there this week and talking sex and intimacy. What did we learn (or not learn) about sex growing up in our Asian households? How it works, who is "allowed" to have it, and under what circumstances it's "ok" to have it. And how did the taboo around talking about or having sex affect us in terms of our personal understandings of what sex is actually like, what we enjoy, and what will work well in a relationship? 

Spoiler alert: it absolutely stunted our development and we are still learning about ourselves today. 

We also discuss what intimacy means for us and how it's distinct from simply the act of sex, and what advice we have for you based on all the roadblocks we've gone through ourselves. 

This is our last episode of Season 3. We'll be back with Season 4 in a couple of weeks. If you've enjoyed what you've heard from our podcast so far, there are a bunch of ways you can support us - you can rate and review us on Apple Podcasts/iTunes, tell a friend, follow us on Instagram (@whereareyoufrompod), buy our merch on our website (butwhereareyoureallyfrompodcast.com), or support us on buy me a coffee (buymeacoffee.com/whereareyoufrom). Thank you, and see you in a few weeks!

Drag queens and kings have become one of the more public representations of the LGBTQ community. But beyond the polished acts seen through mass media, drag can be something deeply personal and raw. This week, we're joined by Untitled Queen, a drag artist based in Brooklyn, New York. Untitled's work uses drag as performance art to both construct and deconstruct different facets of his identity.  

Untitled shares with us all the behind-the-scenes of his journey with drag. We talk about his childhood growing up on Governor's Island, all the way to his beginnings in drag. Along the way, we discuss how the drag scene has changed since he started, and how drag can be a powerful tool to explore self-identity. Finally, Untitled gives some parting advice for those of us about to embark on new creative ventures. 

Follow Untitled Queen on Instagram at @untitledqueen and check out his various shows on his YouTube channel. 

On our never ending quest to meet all the Asians doing cool sh*t, we met "more than just a rapper" Lil Waterboi. He's a Montreal-based Vietnamese Canadian artist who's seeking to normalize and shine a spotlight on Asian Canadian artists through his own work and through Bahay Collective, his company dedicated to helping to support and promote Asian artists. 

We talk about what it was like growing up Asian in a French Canadian environment (he's trilingual in English, French, and Vietnamese!), the importance of a strong network and community, his hopes for his impact on Canadian culture and the broader Asian diaspora, and much more. 

Follow Lil Waterboi on Instagram at @lilwaterboi and check out his latest single "Crazy Rich" on Spotify and other streaming platforms.

Do you want to play a game?  

To take your (and our) minds off the news of the past few weeks, we're going to be drinking this episode. And not only will we be drinking, but we will also be attempting to trick each other with fake COVID-story headlines. So strap your headphones on for some fake news debunking, high-larious failures in pronunciation and enunciation, and some hot tips to avoid a drinking hangover.  

Who's keeping score? Who cares, we're drunk! 

Sophia Bailey is the founder of the More Than Yellow Blog - a community dedicated to amplifying the voices and stories of the Asian-American community. We discuss how she was inspired to start More Than Yellow by the challenges she experienced herself growing up as one of the few Asians in her small midwest town, fueled further by the recent wave of anti-Asian racism growing out of the pandemic. We discuss what we as a community (both Asian-American and the broader minority communities) can do to band together and start working towards some tangible ways to dispel this hatred moving forward. 

Follow More Than Yellow on Instagram at @morethanyellowblog and/or submit your own story to be featured on morethanyellowblog.com 

Loneliness is a universal experience that we've all had at one point or another. What's so interesting about loneliness is how we react to it and how the cultures we grew up with direct that reaction. 

This week we're talking about loneliness culture - the places, services, practices, and traditions that govern how we deal with loneliness, as well as the cultural norms that often signal to us what contexts it's "acceptable" to be alone in or not. We take a look at how the Eastern world has approached being alone, from tables for one to rentable companions. Then we explore how the Western world treats loneliness as an individual issue, how difficult it is to forge new connections especially in our adult years, and the impact this loneliness has on the mental health of our populations.

Feeling alone? Join us to get to know your loneliness a little better. And as always, you can always reach out to us and our community if you're ever feeling alone :). Email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com or engage with us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

**Podcasters' Note / Correction as of 3.29.21: In this episode we mention "Ellen" Page because we pre-recorded the episode prior to his publicly coming out as Elliot Page in mainstream media. We appreciate the listener who brought this to our attention so we could make this correction. 

The armed forces is such an important and foundational group keeping our country (and our friends around the world) safe, but is often under-appreciated or not thought of, especially in the realm of jobs our immigrant parents dream for us to pursue. 

This week we speak with Major David Phetmixay from the US Air Force about his experience serving as one of the few Asian-Americans in this branch of the military. We also discuss how serving in the forces has unexpectedly allowed him to reconnect with not only his Lao/Thai roots through language immersion programs, but also connect with his extended family in Laos while on assignment acting in the key role of translator in POW / MIA missions ("Prisoner Of War", "Missing In Action"). 

We thank Major Phetmixay and everyone else currently or previously in the forces for their service and for protecting the land of the free 🇺🇸

As Taiwanese-Americans, we have a complex relationship with China. We are ethnically Chinese and deeply value connecting with the history, culture, and traditions that stemmed from our longstanding Chinese heritage, but at the same time, our families grew up in Taiwan - a place that has developed its own identity, and is certainly run by a very different type of government.

In this episode, we discuss the meteoric rise of China from the original Mao-era Cultural Revolution days to becoming a competitive semi-capitalist world superpower today. We also discuss its controversial policies, its relations with the broader global communities and with Taiwan, and what we think the future holds for China's place in the world. 

Wait, did you know that your hosts are not related!?!

Yes, lifelong friends Jesse and Angela Lin belong to different Lin families! Jesse is an only child, and Angela has an actual brother - Johnny. He's our special guest this week where we talk about the sibling experience. Growing up in an Asian family can be complicated, but the dynamics of family size can make it downright dizzying.

From the pressures of being the "eldest male heir" to the loneliness of being an only child, we leave the sibling (or lack thereof) experience all out on the table. We also discuss how identity can be reflected differently even within the same family when one sibling was born in the motherland and immigrated to the US, and the other sibling was born and raised in the States. Listen in to this episode to hear more about the differences growing up in an Asian family with a sibling vs without. 

Do you remember your first time stepping into Chinatown? It's an otherworldly experience being surrounded by throngs of people and cornered in by restaurants and shops that beckon with mysterious foods and wares. Due to the global pandemic, these amazing neighborhoods are slowly dwindling. 

This week, we're joined by Jackie Wang and Harry Trinh, two volunteers with the organization, "Welcome to Chinatown." We talk with them about what their organization is doing to help NYC Chinatown businesses during this troubled time - from organizing grants to help them pay rent to getting them get set up on online delivery systems, and more. We also share our best tips for exploring Chinatown now - from the best places to eat to the shops with the most interesting items. 

Learn more about how you can help (donating, buying merch, volunteering) at welcometochinatown.com and follow them on Instagram at @welcome.to.chinatown

For Asian-Americans, it's hard enough to reconcile if you're more Asian or more American... now imagine adding on the additional complexity of figuring out if you're more Asian or more Black. Thus far we haven't delved deeply into the impact that being bi-racial can have on one's sense of self. 

We are joined in this discussion by content creator/actor Ryan Alexander Holmes, who is half African-American, half Chinese. We discuss what his journey has been like being outwardly categorized by society as Black, while simultaneously facing rejection or skepticism from the Asian community for not "looking" like he's Asian... AND, how making his own content on Instagram & Tik Tok about this subject has opened him up to connecting in a positive way with the Asian-American community. 

We also discuss his experience visiting and living abroad in the motherland, where colorism and racism cross paths, how the Asian, Black, and broader POC communities have come together in a post-George Floyd world, and much more.

Note: The episode title is an homage to Ryan's self-proclaimed slogan on his social profiles. You can find Ryan on Instagram and Tik Tok at @ryanalexh. 

We had such a pleasure speaking with the ~positive vibes only~ singer/songwriter AZRA on another segment of Asians Doing Cool Sh*t. 

We discuss what it's like to be one of the only Asian-Americans in the music industry, the challenge of fighting the cultural pressure to "not stick out" contrasted against what it takes to succeed in the U.S., how she's had to adapt in channeling her creativity and how she connects with her fans during the COVID-19 shutdown, and even how spirituality plays into her overall message of positivity that she shares with the world every day. 

AZRA's singles "Dimension" and "Dangerous" both hit #1 on the Independent Digital Radio Airplay charts, and she was selected as a '20 GRAMMY NEXT Artist by the Recording Academy. Check out her latest single "Turn Me On" now (song on Spotify, music video on YouTube). 

You can keep up with all of AZRA's upcoming music on Spotify and by subscribing to her YouTube channel, and can connect with her on Instagram at @theazraofficial 

In another segment of "Asians Doing Cool Sh*t," we talk to Amy Tsang, an actor and filmmaker based in LA. Knowing how stereotypical Asian parents feel about pursuing a career in the arts, Amy defied those norms and made her way into the film and TV industry. We discuss what it was like starting her acting career in Hong Kong and transitioning to the U.S. where suddenly her Asian-ness was something she had to consider in its effect on what opportunities were available to her. We also discuss the positive change that's happening now with a more diverse range of stories being told thanks to the rise of young Asian-American filmmakers taking things into their own hands and creating projects to highlight stories we otherwise would not see. Come be inspired by another cool Asian doing cool sh*t!

We're bringing you another "Reflections" episode where we highlight listeners' stories about their experiences. We hear what it was like growing up in a divorced household and the emotional consequences of trying to "save face," the hardship that immigrant parents had to face to learn a whole new language and re-learn their skill sets to "make it" in America, and how conflicting it feels to see more ethnic food growing in popularity but oftentimes commercialized by non-POC individuals. Join us for a really wonderful range of stories, and write us in your own story to telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com for a chance to be featured in a future Reflections episode. 

It's the spookiest season of the year (and one of our favorites)! We gush over what we love about Halloween and share ghost stories and folklore that we convinced our parents to share with us from the motherland. In addition to some spooky tales, we also discuss the traditions practiced around "ghost month" (July in the lunar calendar), and the difference between the concepts of Heaven and Hell in eastern vs. western contexts. Join us for this ghoulish ride!

It's Election season, and we want you to get out and vote! 

Voting is an important civic duty, and helps steer the direction of our country for the next 4 years! It's also really important to remember to vote in all your local elections, which can really help determine what happens in your immediate community. To stir up some civic pride and learn about the importance of voting in other countries, we've brought on a special guest - Savannah! 

Hailing from Taiwan, Savannah is going to give us insight as to how elections work in Taiwan. We'll discuss the similarities and differences in the voting process, and how that really impacts the ability of citizens to get out to vote. Given the pressures of the Taiwan / China relationship, we'll also talk about how the international political environment influences local voting behavior.

Remember...go, vote bitch! 

Love is in the...wait, no. Actually, we didn't learn much about love and relationships at all growing up. While our parents loved us in their own ways, they didn't impart the communication and analysis skills necessary to survive a modern relationship. And since we both entered the dating game late, we've had to develop these skills "on the job."

Love languages are the name of this game, and this week we'll be opening up about the impacts of growing up Asian on romantic relationships. We'll also be introspecting about what we would've liked to have known about dating. Finally, we'll warm it up with some appreciations of our current partners and what they've taught us. 

In celebration of Indigenous People's Day (fka Columbus Day), we spotlight the experience of special guest Maggie, who is half Navajo, half German. We discuss where the holiday first came from and what it means to her, what impact growing up "mixed" and racially ambiguous had on her sense of self, and stereotypes about native people that should be left in the past compared to the realities of what represents the modern-day native person. 

In today's tense political and social climate, it can be difficult to have nuanced conversations about sensitive topics because certain issues can feel extremely personal. As such, "cancel culture" has become a popular reaction to someone saying something that offends, or is in opposition to, a different group. 

We discuss how difficult it can be to discuss politics (!!), some examples of improper "canceling" being doled out that we've seen recently, the challenge of discerning the truth when everyone has become their own news outlet with the prevalence of live phone capture of incidents, and how we believe we should handle complex conversations. 

I'll make a *blockbuster* out of you! 

Disney's Mulan returns to the home theater as a live-action epic, and boy do we have the sizzlingest review of the movie for you. The live-action film surprised many Disney lovers by taking a significantly different approach from the animated originals. There are no musical numbers, fewer comedic-relief characters, and a less cheerful tone overall. 

Your resident Disney fan (Angela) and resident Dis-meh observer (Jesse) give you an honest review of the movie. We'll be talking about the cinematography, script choices, character performances, and more! We'll also be talking about the many controversies surrounding the release of the film - listen in to find out more. 

To catapult us into Season 2 with something that seems larger than life, we discuss the global sensation that is BTS. We bring ARMY super fans Leslie Kim and Diana Jin on as guests to help us learn more about what the magic sauce is that makes BTS so special and has helped the group smash boundaries to break into mainstream music charts and pop culture at large. We also discuss how being a fan of BTS is different for someone from a Korean-American perspective vs. someone from a non-Korean background, and how they see their affinity to BTS as part of their identities.

We come into this conversation with open eyes, a genuine curiosity, and a willingness to learn as we ourselves are not BTS fans - this episode is for anyone else looking to demystify this phenomenon and for ARMY alike. Join us for this fun adventure as we kick off our second season!

----

Podcaster's Note: At some point we refer to Korea as an island instead of a peninsula. This is a brain fart as we're used to referring to our own motherland country (Taiwan) as a tiny island in the East. Oops! :)

Have you ever been asked the dreaded "what are you?" or "where are you really from?" questions on a first date? Yeah, us too. This episode we talk about what it's like dating as an Asian-American. The expectations our parents put on us for our ideal match, our experiences dating in and out of the race, our worst dating experiences, and more!

Cap off Season 1 with us with this final fun episode! We'll be back with Season 2 in Mid-September.

Are you as clueless about birthing and raising babies as we are? If so, this episode is for you! We're joined by special guests Catherine & Mark Kim, first generation Korean-American millennial parents and co-hosts of Mom and Pop Podcast. We talk about the expectations Asian parents put on us to continue our family legacy by having children (esp. sons!), what parts of their Korean heritage they plan to pass on to their now 1 year old daughter, what was completely unexpected in the process of becoming parents, and what advice they have for future parents. 

You can find Mom and Pop Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. 

Kicking the bucket. Taking a long dirt nap. Meeting your maker. Feelings and thoughts about death can be scary and complicated, so this week we're digging up all those skeletons. From past life regression to our favored (or unfavored) ways to pass, we're giving you our most honest insights on death and dying. 

Beyond our own personal thoughts on the matter, we also face the realities of the near-ish future passing of our parents, and what that means from an east vs. west standpoint in terms of how they see end of life care, burial and logistics of where and how frequently we could visit their places of rest, and dealing with assets spread across Asia and the U.S. 

Talking openly about your religious and spiritual beliefs is fairly taboo in today's society, even though these beliefs can make up a big part of your identity. In this episode, we discuss our varying degrees of religious and spiritual beliefs with a special guest, Lindsay, where we compare/contrast how our beliefs and experiences have been shaped by our different upbringings and individual spiritual paths. We also discuss how searching for a tight-knit community, including the local Asian-American community, has affected the paths that we're on now. Jesse brings an agnostic point of view, Angela brings a mix of agnostic and spiritually-Daoist point of view, and Lindsay brings the evangelical Christian point of view.

Mentioned In the Episode:

Understanding personal finance is so important to #adulting, but no one ever taught us how to manage our finances or prepare for our financial futures - not our immigrant parents, nor the U.S. education system. We are by no means financial experts, but we have picked up a thing or two that have helped us save and plan for the future that we want to share with you. There are a ton of basic concepts that everyone should understand to properly manage your money, and we cover a few of those key topics in this episode.

*Disclaimer: NOT financial advice. This episode is meant to be educational to introduce financial topics to listeners, but should not be taken as financial advice. Always do your own research!

Episode Topics:

----------------------------------

RESOURCES:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what happens when you're viewing it through two different sets of eyes? We discuss the standards of beauty in the western and eastern worlds - where they are drastically different and where they are very much the same, our feelings of not quite meeting either of those standards, and the effect that has had on our sense of identity, representation, and self-worth.  

It's Pride month! While we love and embrace every part of what it means to be LGBT, being an LGBT individual can add to the confusion of the already confusing Asian-American identity. Our discussion this week will focus on the struggle of defining what LGBT means, even as we face erasure globally. Our guest Tong was invited to bring an Eastern and female queer perspective, joining us in discussions around how sex and sexuality differ from East to West. 

The most productive and legitimate way we felt we could address the explosion of discussion around racial injustice spurred by the murder of George Floyd was by examining the place that Asians hold in society as "model minorities." We take a closer look at the bias against the Asian community as a result of placing us in this category, but also the privileges we've gained from the label and the bias we hold against other minority communities (namely the African-American and Latino communities) as a result of buying into this idea that we are just behind the white majority in terms of societal status and importance.

By recognizing these privileges and biases, we hope to bring awareness to the broader Asian community about how we may be contributing to the problem of racial injustice against black and other minority communities, and hope to help us all strive to become better allies. At the end of the day, we are all one community and we need to do what we can to advance equality and fair treatment for all.  

Mentioned in the episode:

We're launching a mini series within the broader podcast called "Reflections" dedicated to sharing listener stories.

Join us for this first episode as we hear and discuss stories about growing up Asian in a predominantly white community, a modern take on filial piety, and how non-Asians have realized what it means to feel like they are "other."

If you would like to contribute a story or experience to a future episode of Reflections, email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com

Let's air a dirty little secret for y'all - drugs can be both life-changingly fun and spiritually meaningful. We talk about how we cut past the fear instilled by our Asian upbringings and societal inhibitions to explore the world of controlled substances. We share our experiences & the benefits we've gained from taking these substances for recreational purposes and in therapeutic settings. Come take a journey with us and explore the freedom of controlled substances...at the very least you may gain a new perspective.

This week's episode is inspired by the May 2020 theme for Asian Pacific American Heritage Month: "Unite Our Nation by Empowering Equality"

We discuss equality in the workplace, stereotypes that persist about Asian employees as a result of both our cultural upbringings of not wanting to "rock the boat" as well as external misguided misperceptions, and what else has hindered us from rallying more strongly as a community to truly break the glass ceiling that many marginalized communities find themselves stuck under. 

CORRECTION: In this episode we refer to our challenge in professional advancement as the broader "glass ceiling" phenomenon, but there is a recognized term to refer specifically to the challenge in advancement for the Asian community - the "bamboo ceiling"

We're closing out part 2 of our two-part episode around mental health. We reflect on what motivated us to ignore the taboos we were brought up to associate with mental health and discuss our journey seeking self-care for ourselves.