Call Now!

Welcome to a very special episode of Call Now Podcast! Dan, Dave and Mark are going way out of their depth and dealing with the uncomfortable topic of how self-defense was portrayed and sold to the terrified people of the 1990’s. Luckily for you, unlike the Pulse Wave Myotron - this won’t hurt a bit. You don’t need to worry about shocking yourself, or if this episode will work on people who are on drugs (spoiler…it will) or if it will work in West Virginia (the jury is still out). Buckle up for the most unique product the boys have covered so far and find out just how susceptible to violent crime you really are!

Dan, Dave and Mark attempt to make their Escape as they Ride Like the Wind through the Summer Breeze to see if they Can't Fight this Feeling for One More Night, or if they're better off to Drive, Listen to the Music and Steal Away. Find out What a Fool Believes as they go On and On about a Babe (Rosanna) and a Diamond Girl (Maggie May) they met down in Kokomo as they recount, Minute by Minute, the Lowdown on the time Jessie, Sister Golden Hair and Tin Man went Sailing on their Horse with No Name down Ventura Highway. Just remember, even it's a Total Eclipse of the Heart and you think you're All Out of Love, there's always someone who wants to Kiss You All Over and start Making Love Out of Nothing at All. 

Whether your slamming some Pinot Grigio or just trying to put on your favorite Miami-bathroom shirt, the boys are here for it! Dan, Dave and Mark their first foray into the slow-churning waters of Time Life's music collection and could not start in a sexier place than The Best of Soft Rock! There's something for everyone - Denim Vampires, Joel Hole survivors or coming to grips with the fact that we all know more about Bread than we sometimes want to admit.

Football season never sleeps and Call Now Podcast doesn’t either! Dan, Dave and Mark are putting their noses to the gridiron again and going deep with the Tampa Bay Storm! Find out who the host of America’s next great reality series “Extreme Makeover: Home Game Edition” will be and and join the boys in a battle of wits on their first ever appearance on “Who Wants to be an I-4 Warriare?”

It's time for Dan, Dave and Mark to toughen up and expand their boundaries to the gridiron as they get into the Xs, the Os, the Jims and the Joes and see how the 2004 Tampa Bay Storm prepared their local community for the coming battle of the War on I-4. As a special bonus - see if you can figure out where our hosts land in another battle - Swordsmen vs Beaumen.

Let’s make one thing clear right from the start - if you’re uncomfortable with the fact that this blender is the catalyst for untold numbers of swingers parties/events/bouts across the world then this might not be the podcast for you. Dan, Dave and Mark have no choice but to address the upside-down pineapple in the multiple-mattress adorned room as they get to the bottom of key bowl and figure out why anyone needs a portable blender (other than swingers). You’ll also learn all about the joys of camping, how the boys really feel about Berman and what alternate realities could have brought this battery-powered mischief maker to Mick’s Mount Rushmore.

Happy 50th Episode everybody! Accomplishing what few other infomercial themed podcasts have done before - Dan, Dave and Mark boldly cross the threshold of the half-century mark by going mobile and celebrating with their old pals from the Magic Bullet crew. They may not be the same sandy-haired stallions they once were, but they are Nokia compatible and unafraid to jump into the politic(k)s of blending on the move. Mind your oily elbows, and be wary of low grade Bonds, and you might just find yourself enjoying a hamburger of garlic in Big Bear.

Dan, Dave and Mark have the privilege of speaking with the Human Calculator himself - Scott Flansburg! The boys take a trip down memory lane with Scott and fondly review his experience on Amazing Discoveries and the wild path he took to get there. Hear all about how Scott has made some of his most impactful revelations, his non-mathletic talents and what he’s been up to lately (hint: Alice Cooper is prevalently involved in all three of these areas). As a special bonus, Scott puts the boys to the test and we find out which host takes home the inaugural Call Now Counting Bee Championship!

Have you ever tried to keep a New Year’s Resolution only to scrap it two weeks into the new year? Tired of feeling guilty for not living up to your commitments? Great! We knew you did! So check out this week’s very special episode where the boys sit down with The Trainer to the Trainer® Tom Purvis and look at all the incredible ways infomercials can make you a better person this year! How do you get there? Start here by learning about all of the foundational building blocks of any good resolution and be able to answer these questions: What is dynamic inertia? Can you explain vibration science vs. wiggling? Is it a wig? Once you process all of it, feel free to enjoy a nostalgia sandwich with a little extra juice in your Hawaii Chair.

Dan, Dave and Mark never claim to be mathemagicians so they go to the well for some expert insight and land on Call Now Mathematics Expert and high school math teacher Jared Chivers! The boys have a lot of hard questions for Chiv but, in professorial form, he keeps them focused on the tasks at hand and helps determine: is this SYSTEM worthwhile? Who is the REAL winner of man vs. machine? What exactly is ‘new math’? Scott Flansburg…sex symbol? There’s a lot to uncover, but don’t worry, you don’t need to show your work, just kick back and use your mind to enjoy this episode!

Dan, Dave and Mark are going back to school and crunching the numbers with Mike Levey and the Amazing Discoveries crew! Scott Flansburg aka The Human Calculator is 110% convinced that 99% of his program will be able to improve the math skills of at least 64% of those who complete his training. No need to show your work, we're doing it all in our heads this week!

Dan, Dave and Mark feel like they have the inside track to figure out everything about this SJPL Production! They take a long look at a quick show and try to keep track of each meal, bite, pan and recipe that Cathy and Joe dizzy them with. Find out what Living Single would look like the boys and solve once and for all what’s lurking on, under and around everyone’s countertops even if one of our hosts just can’t stick to the company line.

Dan, Dave and Mark are hungry again and thinking about all the dangerous munchies they can muster with Cathy Mitchell and Joe Farago. For full transparency, one of the hosts of the show shares a number of controversial anti-ranch opinions which are not representative of Call Now Podcast or B+ Effort, LLC. While we do not necessarily support these comments, we feel it is our journalistic responsibility to allow for productive dialogue on key issues regardless of their political, religious, moral or ethical implications.   

Hey Sarge! Great news - Dan, Dave and Mark may have finally cracked the code on what makes the Vitality Cookware system so valuable! We don’t want to spoil the magic for you but here are a few hints: it’s not that it took two sets of hosts within two different disjointed infomercials crammed together into a single show to explain what the product is. It’s not that the pans are (allegedly) stackable or even that we finally know what to do with all of those nickels we have laying around! Listen closely and you can find out how this cooking system becomes the first known infomercial product that incentivizes it’s customers to literally abandon the product. The tuxedos aren’t the only fancy-like thing you can get from Vitality, you might just change your life.

Dan, Dave and Mark are back in the kitchen and exploring the value of vertical cooking! Vitality cookware is so complex it took them two separate sets of hosts to explain it! The Clever Cleaver Brothers try their best to force feed us the “right” way to cook with the Vitality Stackable Cookware vs Conventional Cooking Challenge. While Jim and Susan go straight to the heart and to let you know that you'll never go hungry as long as you know how to properly cook mixed vegetables. We also find out just how far Dave would go for a ravioli.

Dan, Dave and Mark and cleaning up around the green and taking a wrist-led swing at figuring out everything that led to the Hammer X putter. Get some real-life, first-hand feedback from the boys as Dan and Mark breakdown the true power of wielding a hammer in public (golf courses). Uh oh - new nickname alert! Find out which one of our hosts will henceforth be known as Dr. Knockdown and see if Beau’s southern charm is having any positive effects on Mark, or his short game.

Dan, Dave and Mark are getting some sun, trimming some strokes and feeling Jolly because they finally found the one putter that makes all others OBSOLETE! Lots of big questions raised in this one: Is that a golf club? How much thigh is too much for a two-shot? When did they stop letting children buy heaters for their parents? And while the boys might not have all the answers, the smooth-talking Southern Swing-oil Saucier that is Beau Rials does his best to help them draw their own conclusions.

It’s been a tough couple of weeks in the world of Call Now, but the boys are happy to return you to your regularly scheduled programming! Come along and spend a little under 21 days going from sagging to bragging and focus on a few things other than John Abdo’s proximity to his demonstrators. And to make sure they had appropriate levels of specificity, the boys called in the the Trainer to the Trainers ® himself - Mr. Tom Purvis! Check out Tom’s heroic return to Call Now as he explains what this “machine” is actually (allegedly) trying to do, how he keeps his buns in such incredible shape and also presides over the Ronnies! This episode may not, technically be a swift lift, but it is definitely bunbelievable and will have you wearing that dress you bought two years ago in no time!

(Note: this episode was recorded July 27, 2021, prior to the passing of Ron Popeil)

Last week when they heard the news, the boys gave you their thoughts and reactions in the moment, hours after learning of the passing of Ron Popeil. Now, they do their best to pay homage, and their proper respects, to Papa Ron. They celebrate the King of the Infomercial and dig into what made Ron's Ronness so singular and take a tour through the incredibly diverse array of inventions he developed and marketed for the past half century-plus. 

In the immediate wake of the news of the passing of Ron Popeil, Dan, Dave and Mark hop on to share some quick thoughts on what Ron has meant to them, his unparalleled impacts on direct marketing, product pitching and infomercials. 

Dan, Dave and Mark are feeling the power of compression and getting tighter than ever. Forget all that nonsense about how to get in shape - there's only one part of the anatomy that really matters and John Abdo is going to make sure you don't focus anywhere else! Watch along with the boys as they keep their eyes on John (and his wandering hands) and try to figure out who this is for, how to handle catching a couple in the throws of a passionate workout, and what's really on Abdo's mind that made this happen.

3..2..1…lift off! Dan, Dave and Mark are blasting deep into stains and fabrics, discussing domestic and foreign policy and doing their best to weather another spin cycle with the Sputnik! John and Terry are as waxed, vaxxed and relaxed as ever and helping the boys cut their #laundrytime with a host of characters and shine some light on life’s most personal questions. And just in case you've ever questioned the nature of your reality, you'll feel very comfortable with the number of creative scenarios, locations, names and opportunities that could have taken the Sputnik all the way to the moon! (Special set of shout outs this week: @AaronLewisMusic, #divorceddads, #onetwopunch, @ColdPlay)

Dan, Dave and Mark have seen the light and are on bended knee at the alter of Father Ron. Please join the boys, grab a pew and listen as Brother Arnold preaches the good gospel of the Full Tang and reads passages from the book of Surgical Steel, Father Ron’s homily espouses the creation myth of the Showtime Knife and bear witness to sisters Shannon and The Other One prepare the gifts for the delivery of the sacrament. The Church of Ronco knows how difficult of a moral quandy it can be to choose your blade, but open your heart to the possibility of being very surprised by the feeling of buying lunch. Slice be with you. And with your flatware.

Dan, Dave and Mark have arrived at the cutting edge of kitchen excellence and jumping in to a full on family reunion! Ron is back, so is his cousin Arnold, his daughter Shannon and his other daughter Lauren - the whole famn damily has their aprons on and trying to give away as many implements of culinary destruction as possible! The boys fall under Ron’s spell momentarily but never forget the magic of Arnold and all of the wisdom he possesses. Some special guest appearances including a couple of very well known thespians who can definitely stand the HEAT in the kitchen.

That’s right - the Trainer to the Trainers® himself, the one and only, Mr. Tom Purvis is on the line and hanging out with the boys this week! Tom drops some serious intellectual weight on Dan, Dave and Mark (don’t worry, momentum was not a factor) and can’t resist taking them through a full circuit to build their bodies of knowledge. TTTT exercises some patience with the boys and fills them in on a few behind-the-scenes flexes and spots them for a few reps around the world of fitness informercials at large. As a special bonus, Tom sends the boys on an Easter egg hunt and plays a quick game of “Fair or Jowl.” So take the Call Now Challenge! You can finish this entire episode in just 20 minutes, three days a week and if you’re not completely satisfied, send it back to us for a full refund. Once you listen, you won’t know how you could get this type of entertainment from any other podcast.

Dan, Dave and Mark do their best to unravel the mystery of Operation BluBlockers and go knuckles deep in Sugarman (credit: Limp Bizkit) investigating the publicly available information surrounding the well-known psy-op. The boys explore details behind Sugarman’s military background, his intelligence experience and it’s impact on his more notorious asset: Zorp. It’s hard not to fall victim to the bright lights of Hollywood with all of the celebrity lookalikes and imitation BluBlockers. But keep your eyes open, don’t blink (or even squint), don’t succumb to the headaches and before you know it every wrinkle will be smoother than Dr. Geek and all will be revealed in a moment of clarity.

Dan, Dave and Mark are looking cool and have it made in the shade because they are finally seeing things clearly thanks to BluBlockers! Watch along with the boys as they learn how to make a television commercial in a completely unrehearsed and unscripted format they've never seen before. Pack your bags because they search high and low for the Sugar Man from Hawaii to New Orleans to Venice Beach and, of course, in the sunshine capital itself - San Francisco. Come along with us, the trolley's leaving and you don't want to miss out on your BOGO BluBlockers!

Dan, Dave and Mark are dialed in this week and taking some big swings at some big food…and even taking on (trigger warning) BIG OVEN. It’s ok though, because between Dave’s research, Mark’s first-hand air frying prowess and Dan’s terrible puns, there is no trio more qualifried (nailed it) to act as your countertop Sherpas. So make sure your anemometers are charged and your soul patches are trimmed because you’ll need both to fill up your Shout-Out BINGO Card! And if you should ever have any doubts along your journey, just recite the mantra from Friar Theiss’ sermon.

Dan, Dave and Mark order up another full plate of Eric Theiss and, even though they don’t get pounded with flavor, they do get plenty of piles of food (mainly onion rings)! Eric takes the PXLAFG head-to-head against every cooking device known to man and shows us every way to make chicken! He even tries to make the concept of air frying understandable to everyone…except Dave.

Dan, Dave and Mark are doing their job and hopping back in to be your Screw Guides with Mick'n'Dick and finding out what's in the box (SPOILER: it's a Power Driver). The boys take their best run at keeping up with the Mick's pace on this star-studded episode that includes visits from Jon Gruden, Outkast, Ron Popeil, Rush, Marty Scorsese and more! As a special bonus, make sure you listen all the way to the end to hear Dave's big joke! 

Dan, Dave and Mark are a mess! Luckily they have nothing to fear because Joe Fowler is here! They’re putting in the time to make sure they pick up all of the pieces (glass, broken eggs, etc.) and blowing out all of the information they’ve sucked up since last week. Shout out to everyone who listens in the next 30 minutes because whoever finishes last buys lunch!

Dan, Dave and Mark meet up with a couple of old friends and have a good ol’ fashioned Watch Party with Uncle Joe (Fowler) and Aunt Mimi (Umidon)! This one sucks up everything in sight with head-to-head competitions, inexplicably messy messes, a tale of two Joes and a special visit from Angelo LIVE from the set! And if you’re one of our first 5,000 viewers/listeners you can get a 2nd H2O Vac Turbo absolutely FREE!

Dan, Dave and Mark hit the links and walk nine with Doug Reed and learn all about…The Controller! We’ve got tight lies, decent lies and some tee box shenanigans that cause one of our hosts to throw out a challenge flag! Oh, and did we mention an attempt at breaking a WORLD RECORD!! Grab your sticks, but protect your hozzles, and take listen (or WATCH) with the boys as they uncover the fastest way to cut six-to-eight strokes off their games!

Billy Billy! Dan, Dave and Mark are balancing on their work platforms and going through each click of the Ultimate Ladder. They put Safety first in delivering some Quality insights and showcasing their Versatility as podcasters to give you as much Value as possible. This truly is the SQV of podcasts. BONUS: Did one of our hosts come away from this experience? You’ll just have to listen and find out!

Dan, Dave and Mark are reaching new heights in this one and want you to climb on up with them! (Don’t worry it supports well over 300 lbs so we’ll be safe). Listen (and WATCH) along with the boys as they get a look at the Ultimate Ladder and get an unexpected chance to spend some quality time with a legend!

Dan, Dave and Mark are digging back into their Perfect Steaks with Beau and Susan to answer all of the questions surrounding the world of sizzling red meat! Join these three kings of the barbeque as they get into some real issues: Is Beau a dweeb? What decade is Jimmy Kelly’s restaurant in? Is the Y chromosome the real secret to cooking a Perfect Steak? Pay close attention and you can also find out ALL of things you can cook with the Perfect Steak cooking system (spoiler alert: anything you can cook in a pan). Alright Dan-o!

It’s time for Dan, Dave and Mark to head back in to the kitchen and learn the secrets to cooking the Perfect Steak! Listen along with the boys as they get unprecedented access to #steakchefs and try to keep it cool as the temperature rises in the kitchen. Don’t confuse their stubbornness for thickness, they’re doing their best to keep up and limit their misteaks to medium-rare occasions.

Dan, Dave and Mark feel like dummies, but they know it's their duty to break down every air-filled piece of the Contact Body Blast on Part 2! The boys take us through things blow-by-blow, try to figure out exactly how CBBF supports the body AND the mind, whether or not we can properly use "batwing" in a sentence and who exactly is their target market? Make sure you listen all the way to the end! You don't want to miss out on some great tips and tricks for attracting bats to your home! 

Dan, Dave and Mark have heard your calls and are now taking action! Welcome to Part 1 of the Contact Body Blast! This week the boys will sit down and watch the Contact Body Blast informercial with you to make sure we're all on different pages for next week's deep dive. Learn about the best (only?) fat-FIGHTING system that will help you trim your batwings and dump all that emotional baggage. Pay close attention for the subtle review of the intro to basics section - because there will be a quiz.

SWEATER ALERT! It's time for another Amazing Discovery! Dan, Dave and Mark re-join Mike Levey, Ian Long and the whole Amazing Discoveries dream team and tackle the Power Steamer. There's so much to unpack from a London taxi, to a BYOL (Bring Your Own Laundry) situation, even a visit to the Hall of Pressing Past and the Academy Awards - that the boys needed to belly up, to whichever bar in Burbank the crew meets at, and watch this along with you. It's a hybrid episode, so get ready to run, pack your bags and join us as we Call Now!

Dan, Dave and Mark tempt fate and get hand-hammered as they tiptoe on the third rail of the Great Wok of China! The boys go to cooking school with well-seasoned pitchmen Wally Nash and Arnold "The Knife" Morris. Today's lesson includes: the basics of wok cooking, a utensil deep-dive (C-H-A-N) and an explanation on appreciating the value of a few good dents. And just to be safe, they check in to make sure Clark is ok. 

Dan, Dave and Mark are breaking out their bib overalls and throwing away their brushes and ladders, because Jan Muller has a new (assuming this is being read before 1996) way to paint! There's a lot to unpack but the boys try to answer some important questions like: are Craig and Betsy like...together-together? What happened to the curb-stomped PaintStick? Have you heard of anyone who paints houses? But be warned, there's always a #classicjan moment lurking around every quick-masked corner. 

What do Carmen Electra, Sinbad, Paula Abdul, TJ Storm and Shaq all have in common with Dan, Dave and Mark, besides listening to every episode of Call Now? That would be their shared admiration for their fitness guru - Billy Blanks. According to Billy, the things that are important to athletes and celebrities are the same things that are important to everyone! Which is great news for anyone hoping to get in better shape, lose some weight or just get followed into a parking lot. Double time, go!