Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Laurie Mintz, a Professor at the University of Florida where she teaches Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduates yearly. She has published over 55 academic works. She is the author of two popular press books—both with published studies demonstrating their effectiveness: Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It  and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex.  Mintz has a private practice, working with clients on general and sexual issues. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, indicating that her work has had a positive national influence on the field of psychology. Key points: Laurie introduces herself Eating disorders and sexuality Penis size anxiety Representations of the penis The importance of the clitoris Prioritizing pleasure with vibrators Men being invested in women’s pleasure Closing the orgasm gap Relevant links: Laurie’s Website: https://www.drlauriemintz.com/  Laurie’s Instagram: @drlauriemintz  Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/ 

Todays Quicky is an excerpt from Season 2, Episode 3; #18 Transformations and Self-Discovery (with Franko Heke) Today on the podcast I chat with a beautiful man who I met in New Zealand a few years ago. We shared a meal together and I resonates with so much of his story. His name is Franko Heke and he is on a mission to raise consciousness through his music and workshops. Drawing on ancient mantra in combination with his own cultural roots, Franko’s devotional sessions are bound to coax your own divine voice into the open with his distinct fresh sounds for today. With years of touring rock music under his belt, Franko’s compass has drawn him north toward a movement, which brings people together, celebrating our unique gifts, our connection to one another and to mother earth. Sought after for yoga, meditation and transformational festival events, Franko’s boundless energy for the betterment of all beings. Having opened for Xavier Rudd and Nahko & Medicine for the people as well as sharing the microphone with Donavon Frankenreiter, Franko is poised to have his message heard far and wide. We spoke about personal transformation and choosing a different path by return to the self and not being scared to make mistakes.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Lorraine. She is a Somatic Therapist, Pleasure Coach and Bodyworker based in the Western Suburbs of Melbourne. She has been working in the field of sexuality for the past 25 years. Starting out in the strip clubs of the UK and moving into therapy and bodywork in 2015. She works with all genders, specialising in working with people who have experienced sexual and physical trauma and people recovering from surgery and illness. Helping them to feel more pleasure and restore sexual function. She works both online and in person offering 1:1 sessions and group workshops. Key Points: Lorraine introduces herself Common experiences of trauma How trauma manifests in the body Cam shares about his own traumatic experiences Feeling pleasure after trauma Men acknowledging their trauma Advice for moving forward Relevant Links: Lorraine's Instagram: @lorrainepentello Lorraine's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lorrainepentello Lorraine's website: https://lorrainepentello.com/

Quicky #16 is from Season 2, Episode 2; Porn Yoga: Healthy Porn Watching (with Joseph Kramer, Ph.D.) Welcome back to the #MenSexPleasure podcast, this is episode 17. Today, I'm chatting with Joseph Kramer, Ph.D. For forty years, Joseph has traveled the world teaching erotic bodywork. In 1984, he founded the Body Electric School in Oakland, California, where he trained thousands of professional massage therapists, erotic bodyworkers and somatic educators. In 2003, Joseph founded the new legal profession of Sexological Bodywork™. Joseph Kramer teaches in Sexological Bodywork trainings in California, Europe, Canada, Brazil and Australia and through his educational websites:  OrgasmicYoga.com, EroticMassage.com, EroticIntegration.com and YogaofSex.com. Joseph and I discuss his practice of Porn Yoga, now called Erotic Integration. I've spoken on many other podcasts about my opinion that porn can be used intentionally as a tool to aid our arousal. This point of view comes directly from Joseph and the work that he does. We speak about how to watch porn healthily.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Kute Blackson. A beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher, Kute offers a fresh, bold look at spiritual awareness for a whole new generation. Born in Ghana, West Africa, Kute’s multicultural upbringing as the child of a Japanese mother and a Ghanaian father has spanned four different continents. His unique lineage lay the foundation for his approach to breaking down barriers and unlocking an individual’s true gifts and greatness. He is a national best-selling author of You.Are.The.One. and his new book, The Magic of Surrender, is a guide to move you past inner struggle to discover the power of letting go of control and how letting go leads to more. Key Points: Kute introduces himself Narratives imposed upon us Cultural influences and returning to our roots What it means to surrender Freedom to be yourself Surrendering to pleasure Letting go of fear Relevant Links: Kute's website: www.kuteblackson.com Kute's Instagram: @kuteblackson Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/

Quicky #15 is from Season 2 Episode 1: Getting Men To Open Up About Sex (with Dr. Juliana Hauser) On the first episode of season 2 (episode 16 overall) of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Juliana, the “girl next door” (with a PhD). Dr. Juliana is always up for a down and dirty conversation about sexuality and intimacy. As a credentialed therapist, academic, and a bonafide (S)expert, Dr. Juliana has spent decades counseling and supporting thousands of individuals on their paths to discover and own their sexual agency. Having traversed her own journey through love, loss, motherhood, and the world of academics, Dr. Juliana has come to understand that ownership over one’s own sexuality is the at the foundation of every fulfilled and confident person. She has developed a clear, action-driven method to help people of all backgrounds discover their own path to authenticity through holistic sexuality.  Dr. Juliana is a certified by Betty Dodson as a BodySex Workshop facilitator and offers tons of tips, insight and support through coaching, therapy, online courses and in person retreats for becoming your own (s)expert over at dr-juliana.com. We chat about working with men, the differences between being a man and woman in this space, and how we can get men to open up to talk about sex.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Habeeb Akande. Habeeb is a British-Nigerian sex educator, erotologist, and author. Habeeb has authored several books on Islamic erotology and African sexual practices to empower women and couples. His bestselling book, Kunyaza: The Secret to Female Pleasure, explores the ancient African practice of squirting and sexual pleasure. He recently helped produce and feature in the BBC documentary, The Orgasm Gap exploring female sexual pleasure in Rwanda. He is passionate about female sensuality and aims to close the gender orgasm gap. Primarily based in the UK, Habeeb has given intimacy workshops and seminars in the UK, France, Brazil, Curaçao, and the US. The two of us talk about his research into Islamic erotology and also his education of the practice of Kunyaza. Beyond that we discuss religious and cultural perspectives of sex and pleasure as well as the importance of speaking directly to men about this. Key Points: Habeeb introduces himself A Taste of Honey: Sexuality and Erotology in Islam Ars erotica vs scientia sexualis Kunyaza: The Secret to Female Pleasure Changing your approach to sex Engaging men in sexual development African sexual practices and cultural appropriation Relevant links: Habeeb’s Instagram: @Habeeb_Akande Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/

Quicky #14 is an exerpt from Season 1 Episode 15: What Do Men Fantasize About? (with Dr. Justin Lehmiller) On this episode of the podcast, I chat with Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is author of the blog Sex and Psychology and the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs. We discuss his research about fantasies and particularly about what men fantasize about, as well as how to healthy explore your desires.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dane Tomas. Dane is an entrepreneur, artist, and teacher whose work is focussed on the healthy integration of the spiritual and material aspects of life. He is the author of 7 books, the creator of various transformational practices and the founder of the EE academy - a not so secret society of spiritual entrepreneurs who want to have a significant worldly impact. You can find his podcast, The EE Podcast with Dane Tomas, on Spotify and iTunes. The two of us briefly talk about his work but we mostly discuss things like how polarity coaches use outrage marketing to exploit people’s insecurities and how the nuance of masculinity is lost in the social media landscape of stereotypical alpha bros and lefties. Key Points: Dane introduces himself What is Esoteric Entrepreneurship? Attaching a monetary value to spiritual healing Social media and the lack of nuance Unpacking “polarity” Is masculinity under attack? Men’s work and collective action Advice for young men Relevant links: Dane’s Instagram: @dane.tomas Dane’s website: https://www.danetomas.com/

Quicky #13 is from Season 1, Episode 14: Sexual Energy Sublimation (with Taylor Johnson).  On this episode of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Taylor Johnson about sexual energy sublimation. Taylor is a sex educator and intimacy coach who helps men master their sex lives in an integrated way. Our philosophies about masculinity and sexuality seem to align and so Taylor and I had a great conversation together about the practical elements of sexual energy transmutation and sublimation. If you've ever been interested in learning how to work with sexual energy and use it to create and manifest other things, this is the episode for you.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Teddy Loveny. Teddy is a social impact obsessive who is passionate about bringing an intersectional perspective to the way we observe, measure and interpret change. They have fingers in many pies, working in outcomes measurement for the community sector alongside designing and delivering learning experiences to promote queer literacy and allyship. Teddy is loudly and proudly queer and trans. They love to help others be curious about the intersections of identity, the space we take up and the impact we have on the community around us. The two of us talk about Teddy’s experience as a transmasculine non-binary queer person as well as what all those terms mean to them. We also discuss the supposed erasure of womanhood and attack on masculinity. Key points: Teddy introduces themselves Defining transmasculine and non-binary Privilege and transitioning Societal pressure and the trans narrative What does being masculine mean? Labels, language, and specificity Experimenting with hypermasculinity TERFs and the erasure of women The attack on masculinity “Queer” is a verb Relevant links: Teddy’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teddy-loveny-8a4b9048/ Show Notes: Abigail Thorn YouTube video: https://youtu.be/v1eWIshUzr8

Quicky #12 is from Season 1, Episode 13: Create Your Own Sexual Rituals (with Paisley Heart) On this episode, I chat with entrepreneur, artist, and Shamanic practitioner, Paisley Heart. He embodies the hybrid archetypes of the Wild Businessman and Lifestyle Artist. Founder of the shamanic rite of passage event The Funeral and panel style podcast Curious Conversations, and previously such businesses as the holistic digital marketing agency DigiLove and Independent record label Fight Music -  his gifts are unique and diverse. Paisley is known to prowl the mysterious shadow realms of business. With the flaming torch of innovation, he sets the normal and mundane ablaze with alternative business approaches. Combining his obsession with spirituality, artistic expression, nature, and ritual, he has made a strong impact on the music, social media marketing, and personal development industries. Paisley’s unorthodox style has often been challenging for his clients and for professionals in the industry. Pushing against these paradigms has become a strong and recognizable brand he is proud of. Paisley has proven that he has a sharp eye in discerning who he works with and where he invests his creative magic. The accolades, achievements, and rapid growth shared between his clients, artists and business are a testament to his uniqueness and grit.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Finn Deerhart. Finn is an AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor. Through his courses, workshops, retreats, and private sessions, men learn tools to confront their limitations, unravel internal narratives of shame, and spark deeper human connections—grounding themselves into a deeper experience of life. Finn also creates educational erotic content and provides on-site erotic coaching for various organizations, including Himeros TV, an online service that provides explicit educational content for queer men. He co-hosts the weekly Himeros Backstage podcast which can be heard on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Podcasts. As a Sex and Intimacy Coach, Finn helps gay and queer men ignite their eroticism and step into their emergent selves. The two of us talk about Finn’s work with gay and queer men, highlighting some of the similarities between his work and my work with straight men. We also discuss our opinions about porn and how to expand the way it is used. Key points: Finn introduces himself Finn shares his coming out story Do we need labels for our identity? What you do isn't who you are Overcoming fear, finding solidarity Being confused by the porn you watch Where sexual fantasies come from What is it about porn that turns you on? Bad porn vs good porn Relevant links: Finn’s Instagram:@finndeerhart Finn’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/finndeerhart Finn’s website: https://www.finndeerhart.com/ Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/

Quicky #11 is from Season 1, Episode 12: Dualism, Relativism and Masculinity (with Jarred Dickie)  On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with a very good friend of mine, Jarred Dickie. Jarred is a friendly face you might have seen around Fremantle, Western Australia, for years. He started his Yoga journey in 2013 as a student of Ava Irani (Spanda school founder) and progressed through the teachings of Hridaya Hatha Yoga. This gentle style of meditative Yoga is rooted in the “Self enquiry” method of Ramana Maharshi. Jarred also co-founded Kommunity Brew Kombucha in 2015, learning the incredible journey of running a small, conscious business. We chat about the dualistic nature of masculinity and femininity as well as the idea that all spiritual practices are true, relative to our own perception and understanding. We also reflect on the current global conditions.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Traver Boehm. Traver is the author of the books “Today I Rise” and “Man UNcivilized”. He’s a two-time TEDx speaker, men’s coach, and the founder of the UNcivilized Men’s Movement. He’s helped men all over the world to become UNcivilized as they wake up to the power of their hearts, the brilliance of their bodies, and the wisdom of their souls so they can blaze their own path by uniquely blending both the primal and the divine within them. He is dedicated to doing his part to help end the suffering in men, and the suffering caused by men, by guiding them through their own journey into an actualized version of masculinity. The two of us talk about Traver’s approach to men’s work and his ideas about masculinity, which he breaks down into two categories; primal and divine. We speak about the mainstream narratives surrounding what it means to be a man and how we can explore these narratives to see if they serve us. Key Points: Traver introduces himself Identifying toxic masculinity Leadership in the locker room Narratives about what it means to be a man The importance of men’s work Redefining masculinity Anger vs aggression Practical advice for men Relevant links: Traver’s website: www.manuncivilized.com Traver’s Instagram: @traverboehm

Quicky #10 is from Season 1, Episode 11: Lover Earth: Relating with the Feminine (with Devin Fredericksen) On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast I chat with Devin Fredericksen about reframing our relationship with the earth, from Mother to Lover. Devin helps people reconnect to themselves, each other, and Mother Earth in a heart centered path. He supports the Regeneration of the Masculine, with the intention to reunite the global brotherhood. He specializes in sacred sexuality, conscious intimacy, permaculture, and is an ecstatic chef and regenerative farmer. By weaving these elements together, Devin facilitates the process of living in harmonious relationship with ourselves. Devin embraces life with gratitude for every day because of the gift of this opportunity to live life NOW!

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with "Intimacy Expert to Millions,” Susan Bratton. Susan is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. She is co-founder and CEO of two corporations: Personal Life Media, Inc., a publisher of heart-connected lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills and The20, LLC., a manufacturer of organic and botanical supplements that enhance sexual vitality. A best-selling author and publisher of 44 books and programs including Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him, Steamy Sex Ed™, The Passion Patch, Hormone Balancing, and Hot To Trot. Susan has been featured in the New York Times and on CNBC and the TODAY show as well as frequent appearances on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox and NBC. You can find The Susan Bratton Show® at BetterLover.com, her personal shares on Instagram @susanbratton, and her lust-for-life supplements, FLOW and DESIRE at The20store.com. The two of us talk about being a better lover, going from simply having sex to making love, and how good sex is good for your health. Key Points: Susan introduces herself Pleasure vs gratification Diversification of pleasure Penetration and different strokes Fingers, lips, and nervous system toggles From having sex to making love Communicating with your partner Aging and life-long sex Relevant Links: Susan’s websites: https://susanbratton.com/ https://gainswave.com/ https://femiwave.com/ Susan’s Instagram: @susanbratton

Quicky #9 is from Season 1, Episode 10: Confessions of a male stripper (with Josh Hardy)  Today, I chat with depressed Heavy Diesel Mechanic and Male Stripper turned Agency Owner, Gym owner and Holistic Lifestyle Coach, Josh Hardy. Josh lived a life making decisions ruled by fear of not being enough, and self pity from not meeting high standards. He quit his job to pursue his passion in health & fitness, hand built his gym from scratch and is still on a huge journey of personal growth to become a better human, role model and leader. Josh and I recently connected again at a men's group after 15 years of lost contact. We used to play soccer together when we were kids. Josh offers a fascinating peek behind the curtin into the stripping industry, from the hen's nights and dance shows to the pressure to perform to the insecurities.

Seth Westhead is a proud Father, Husband, Aboriginal health researcher, Men's mentor and host of The Sentient Savage podcast. With family connections to the Awabakal (Ah-Wah-Bah-Cul) and Wiradjuri (Wi-rad-Jury) nations of NSW, Seth draws on his ancestral knowledge systems and practices to guide his work as a multi-contextual space holder. Seth also holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Nutrition/Physiology and a Master’s Degree in Public Health, utilizing his deep understanding of the body and determinants of health to advocate for holistic approaches to health and wellbeing services and supports. Within his personal life, work and business, Seth strives to uphold the values of self-development, equity, agency and personal sovereignty. The two of us talk about his experience as an Aboriginal man in Men’s Work spaces, covering topics like cultural appropriation, archetypes and Aboriginal mythology, and personal accountability and integrity. Key Points: Seth introduces himself What does it mean to “hold space”? Regulated vs unregulated industries Personal accountability Professional integrity Aboriginal archetypes Cultural appropriation Relevant links: Seth’s Instagram: @s_westhead Seth’s website: https://sentientsavage.my.canva.site/

Quicky #8 is from Season 1, Episode 9: The New Dating Rules for Men (with Harris O'Malley) On this episode, I chat with Harris O’Malley, a dating coach who provides geek dating advice at Paging Dr. NerdLove, as well as on Kotaku and elsewhere. He and his work has been featured on Nightline, Vice, The Guardian, New York Magazine, The Huffington Post, Wired, Sex Nerd Sandra, Daily Life, Slate, The Austin-American Statesman, Austin Monthly, Geek and Sundry, Boing Boing, Everyday Feminism, Buzzfeed, The BBC, The New Yorker, The New York Post, The Daily Dot, The Washington Post, Kotaku, Lifehacker, NeilStrauss.com, The Good Man Project, MTV’s Guy Code, The Harvard Business Journal, and many others.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jennie Williams, the founder and CEO of Enhance The UK, a user-led charity campaigning to change public perceptions of disability. Enhance The UK provide face to face and virtual training to businesses and organizations on a variety of different topics surrounding disability awareness. All of their training is delivered by disabled trainers, utilizing a powerful combination of expert knowledge, and lived experience. Jennie is very passionate about the charity’s Undressing Disability campaign, which focuses on the sexual rights of disabled people. The two of us talk about the intersection of disability and sexuality, the sexual stigma surrounding disability, and how Enhance The UK is both educating non-disabled folks as well as advocating for folks with disabilities. Key points: Jennie introduces herself Biggest wins and challenges Expectations about disabilities Communication is the key to bridging the gap Self-advocacy and accessibility needs Concurrent education and advocacy Advice for people listening Relevant links: Enhance The UK’s website: https://enhancetheuk.org/ Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser

Quicky #7 is from Season 1, Episode 8: Sacred Sexuality and Ancient Lore (with Ryan McKenna) On this episode, I chat with wellness wizard Ryan McKenna. He embodies ancient knowledge and wisdom, in unison with modernized teachings and techniques to create alchemic medicine to nourish the mind, body and soul. Fusing together elements of Celtic shamanism, Druidism, Astrology and herbalism to create optimized transformative awakening journeys for high dimensional existence. Ryan specializes in detoxification and regeneration of the physical organs through sacred healing modalities, sacred sexuality, nutritional balancing, fasting, qigong and elemental meditational journeys through ceremonial sound and music therapy. Bringing the body forward into balance and harmony, on a multidimensional level, by clearing stagnation and blockages, releasing toxic belief systems, and creating space within ones vessel allow new higher frequencies to enter and prepare the soul to ascend into higher realms of consciousness to embody new earth golden age frequencies.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Charles Dubois. Charles’ journey of sexual healing started two years ago when he met a woman. Up until that point, he did not know what masculinity meant. He always found it easier to connect with his feminine side, and was afraid to embody anything remotely like the constant portrayal of “Toxic Masculinity” that permeates our media. Charles knew what he did not want to be, but had no idea who he did want to be. Then he met a woman so consciously connected to and embodying her femininity that it awoke something inside of him - and broke something inside of him as well. She had introduced him to himself, as the feminine oracle does so well, but she was not meant to save him from it. Charles spent the next two years on a journey of healing and discovery, seeking out masculine teachers and leaders, and exploring what deep sexual intimacy really means. The two of us talk about his experience with my Sacred Sexuality Coaching certification as well as his approach to working with men who feel shame about their sexuality. We also discuss the socialization of boys and men as well as how to engage with men from the ‘manosphere’. Key Points: Charles introduces himself From 12 Step to Sacred Sex Cock shaming Ego in the bedroom Doing the work to heal men The socialization of boys and men Are there irredeemable men? The toxicity of online discourse Relevant links: Charles’ Instagram: @​​charlesdubois801 Charles’ website: https://www.charlesdubois.net/

Quicky #6 is from Season 1, Episode 7: Working Through Shame and Trauma Changed My Life (with Mos Nepia-Rangi) On this episode of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast. This is a very special and vulnerable conversation with Amos, also known as Mosman or Mos, for short. He is a loving partner as well as an adventurous father who is on a journey of self love and self healing. His passion is to connect with people. Mos is working in construction and studying to be a personal trainer. In this conversation, Mos shares a little chunk of his story about sexual trauma, vulnerability, masculinity and intimacy. He feels it is a subject that gets left in the dark and that there’s so much shame around it. Because of his journey of self development, Mos felt that it was right to share his story. He also wants you to remember you are not alone.

This is another solo episode of #mensexpleasure. In this episode, I share my thoughts about erectile dysfunction. I thought it might be interesting and useful to have an entire podcast episode dedicated to erectile dysfunction so that it could potentially be used as a resource for others. Feel free to share this around if you have someone asking about erection issues. Key Points: Welcome back Defining erectile dysfunction Unrealistic expectations Difficulty getting an erection Arousal non-concordance Safety and masturbation patterns Viagra and ED medication Can we trust prevalence rates? Emotional erections Relevant links: Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser Cam’s YouTube video about ED: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_WsxyIb6Jg

This is another solo episode of #mensexpleasure, where I share my thoughts about premature ejaculation. I thought it might be interesting and useful to have an entire podcast episode dedicated to premature ejaculation so that it could potentially be used as a resource for others. Feel free to share this around if you have someone asking about premature ejaculation issues. Key Points: Welcome Defining Premature Ejaculation Intravaginal Ejaculation Latency Time (IELT) Premature ejaculation in the media Ejaculation as a survival response Sympathetic nervous system The sponge analogy Stop-start method and other practices Relevant links: Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser

Quicky #5 is from Season 1, Episode 6: Natural Viagra: Aphrodisiacs and Erotic Plants (with Joel Camp) On this episode of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Herbal Alchemist, Kitchen Wizard, Sex Magician, Mescalero and traveller on the Poison Path, Joel Camp. Joel is a student of the natural world, its medicines, its magick and its mysteries. I met him several years ago when he was dishing up incredible plant-based food at some of Perth's best restaurants and cafes. He is a good friend of mine and an absolute wizard when it comes to plant medicine. We talked about his journey overcoming sexual function issues with the use of herbs and adaptogens as well as discussed ways in which you can incorporate aphrodisiacs into your sex life. This is an episode about cultivating relationships with natural medicines.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dabaco Sunset (he/him). Dabaco is an embodiment counsellor helping you connect deeper with your body, sexuality and sensuality. He combines somatic psychology, pillars of awareness and yogic principles in his practice. Dabaco also draws on meditation techniques, intuitive movement and creative mediums to empower participants to explore untapped areas of themselves. Dabaco is the co-founder of personal development project (and app) Time To Decompress, he holds a Diploma of Counselling and is currently undertaking post-grad studies in Gestalt Therapy. He also facilitates workshops and retreats for NAKEDMAN and is a trained Yin Yoga teacher. Alchemizing the world of creativity and somatic therapy, Dabaco is facilitating himself and countless queer and curious folk into a new paradigm of embodied artistic liberation. The two us talk about queerness and the sexual spectrum, particular how men who are sexually fluid experience challenges like performance anxiety. We also discuss sexual identity, the queering of heterosexuality, the necessity of labels, and the importance of celebrating the sexual pioneers and provocateurs who came before us. Key Points: Dabaco introduces himself The flattening of queerness Fluidity and difficulties The universality of performance anxiety Queering heterosexuality Should we use labels? Celebrating queer elders Relevant Links: Dabaco’s Instagram: @dabacosunset Dabaco’s Website: http://dabacosunset.com/ Cam’s Patreon: http://patreon.com/thecamfraser

Quicky #4 is from Season 1, Episode 5: The Healing Power of Naked Men's Yoga (with Will Blunderfield) On this episode of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Will Blunderfield. He has been teaching yoga throughout Canada, the US and Asia for the last 11 years. He has a degree in Musical Theater from the American Musical & Dramatic Academy of New York (AMDA) as well as a degree in psychology from UBC with a minor in Food, Nutrition & Health. He recently completed a year long kundalini yoga teacher training program in Vancouver and India, Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Facilitator training (program from University of Massachusetts Medical School), and was grateful to study in 2020 with Sexual Kung Fu Taoist Grandmaster himself, Mantak Chia. He performs original Kirtan/Sacred Song in his classes, retreats and workshops and his music is released through Nettwerk Records/Sony. His original music has reached number one on the iTunes world music charts multiple times. This was a great chat about how using sound, yoga, and nudity can heal men's sexual insecurities.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with M’kali-Hashiki. M’kali-Hashiki is a Somatic Sacred Storyteller & Erotic Ritualist. She holds certifications in Sexological Bodywork; Sound, Voice, & Music Healing; and Tantric Sacred Intimacy. As a Somatic Sacred Storyteller, she helps you uncover the stories your body is holding onto, jettisoning the ones poisoning you, and helping you to reframe & retell the ones left. As an Erotic Ritualist she designs journeys for you to commune with The Divine using your physical pleasure as the conduit of communication. Her Divine Purpose is helping folx heal their erotic wounds so they can have the joyous & juicy life that is their Divine Birthright and move further along in their path to individual & collective liberation. Her site FiercePassions is a Somatic Cyber Temple offering community journeys, rituals, individual coaching, instructional videos, private sessions for couples/triads, and guided visualizations to help us survive & thrive during these chaotic times. In her nomadic travels across North & Central America, she teaches at colleges & universities, conferences, and the occasional adult toy store or educational center. She offers sexuality training & employee wellness/team building skills to organizations & companies. She is also a skilled Sensitivity Reader hired to read manuscripts to make sure they avoid explicit & implicit systemic bias. Her lived experiences as a fat, Black, queer, femme, trauma-survivor inform every aspect of her work. The two of us talk about the sacredness of the anus and the healing and pleasure that can be explored by incorporating anal play, particular anal massage, into our life. We also discuss breathwork and how breathing can be a tool to expand our eroticism. Key points: M’kali-Hashiki introduces herself Sexual politics and pleasure Pleasure-negative childhood stories Resistance to sexual exploration Anal massage and play Anal breathing Breathwork as a tool Erotic breathwork practices Relevant links: M’kali-Hashiki’s website: www.FiercePassions.com M’kali-Hashiki’s Instagram: @fierce_passions

Quicky #3 is from Season 1 Episode 4: Leadership In and Out of the Bedroom (with Tully O'Connor) On this episode, I have a great chat with a very good friend of mine, Tully O'Connor. Tully works as a transformational coach and facilitator. Working primarily with men, Tully has a passion for helping people expand their personal leadership and develop connected, fulfilling relationships. Known for his down-to-earth approach, Tully speaks about complex intimate issues with ease, clarity and humour. His unique ability to hold a deeply present and safe space allows him to facilitate powerful and meaningful transformation in both a 1-1 and group setting. The thing he’s most proud of is his relationship with his wife Kaitlin and being a father to their son. We spoke about leadership, relationships, vulnerability and how what leadership means in a sexual context.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Alice Child (she/her). Alice is a certified Somatic Sexologist, Sex Educator and Coach, and founder of Vulva Dialogues. She works with individuals, couples, and groups of all gender identities, helping them achieve happier, healthier and more fulfilled sex lives - whatever that means for them. The two of us speak about creativity and playfulness are they relate to sexual exploration. We offer a lot of different games to try by yourself and with a partner. If you’re looking for inspiration to play with your partner, this is the episode for you. Key Points: Alice introduces herself Creating a space for vulnerability Art, creativity, and playfulness The gamification of sex Fun sex game suggestions Laughing with your partner Relevant links: Alice’s Instagram: @vulvadialogues Alice’s website: https://www.vulvadialogues.com/

Quicky #2 comes from Season 1, Episode 3: Gender Expression, Masculinity & Sex Education (with Kai Schweizer) On this episode, I chat with Kai Schweizer, a sexologist, sexual health educator, and Masters student. He has a specialist interest in trans and gender diverse sexual health, including dyspareunia, contraception, and HIV prevention. Kai is best known for his sexual health education work with queer young people. This is an eye opening conversation as Kai share's some of his personal story, including his gender transition, as well as some valuable insights into models of masculinity.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat again with Devin Fredericksen. Devin joined me first on episode #11 of the podcast and I have the pleasure of welcoming him back. Devin helps people reconnect to themselves, each other, and Mother Earth in a heart centered path. He supports the Regeneration of the Masculine, with the intention to reunite the global brotherhood. He specializes in sacred sexuality, conscious intimacy, permaculture, and is an ecstatic chef and regenerative farmer. The two of us talk about regeneration, from the very literal sense to the more esoteric and energetic sense. We also discuss the practice of consuming ejaculation and finding sexual pleasure in nature, including the phallic symbolism of mushrooms and the sensuality of forests. Key Points: Devin reintroduces himself The definition of regeneration Consuming ejaculation and energetic regeneration Nature and sensuality Phallic symbolism of mushrooms The practice of ecosexuality Pleasure from being outdoors Devin’s Instagram: @devinfredericksen Devin’s website: https://www.devinfredericksen.com/ Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser

Quicky #1 comes from Season 1, Episode 1: From Caveman to Multi-Orgasmic Man (with Nicolas Spadaccini) On this episode, I chat with engineer, author, film maker and life-long student of all things Tantra, Nicolas Spadaccini. This clip is taken from Season 1, Episode 1. He dropped a lot of practical knowledge about male bodies and multiple orgasms. Nic has a refreshingly open way of talking about the not so talked about parts of our sexual bodies. In 2016, he started writing the soon to be released book entitled, "Penises & Vaginas - A Users Manual." It's a hand guide to the basics about our sexual bodies that are often overlooked in our modern world. I really resonate with Nic's approach to sexuality work and always gain valuable insights whenever I chat with him.  Link to full episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/pUZlo0fh9ub 

On this extra long episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with my good friend Tully O’Connor. Tully is a committed father and husband who has a deep passion for supporting people to access their full creative potential in life, love and leadership. Through his transformational coaching programs and events, Tully supports men to cultivate more confidence, depth and fulfillment in every area of their lives. He also works with couples to support them in developing rock solid foundations for a secure, connected and intimate relationship. The two of us talk about being fathers and how our lives have changed since the birth of our sons. We talk about the ways in which we’ve had to navigate intimacy with our wives and the importance of intentionally connecting with them as well as with the men in our lives. Key points: Tully and I drop in Conscious conception and miscarriage The birthing process and trauma Toddlerdom and intimacy Expectations about sex Support for families Values and communication Relevant links: Tully’s Instagram: @tullyoconnor Tully’s Website: https://www.tullyoconnor.com/ Cam’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thecamfraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Justine Ang Fonte (she/they). Justine Ang Fonte, M.Ed, MPH is the child of Philippine immigrants and award-wining intersectional sex & health educator, consultant, and professor based in New York City. On Instagram, she's known as "Your Friendly Ghostwriter" composing the texts you avoid sending about setting your boundaries. The two of us talk about their social media page _good.byes_ and their work as a ghostwriter for boundaries. We discuss the importance of setting and recognizing boundaries and the reasons why so many of us aren’t very good at this. Key Points: Justine introduces herself Comprehensive sex education Consent beyond sex Ghostwriting boundaries Different types of boundaries Online vs in-person Boundaries in the body Recognising boundaries in others Relevant links: Justine’s website: https://www.justinefonte.com/ Justine’s Instagram: @imjustineaf Justine’s Instagram: @_good.byes_ Cam’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thecamfraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Lucy Rowett, CSC CS ACS. Lucy is a certified sexologist and sex coach who is passionate about helping women and people with vulvas let go of sexual shame and hangups and embrace pleasure to create the passionate relationships they've always desired. She uses a combination of mind body tools with evidence-based sexuality education to create a fun and open space for womxn to explore their full erotic potential. Her speciality is working with women and people with vulvas who come from Faith backgrounds who are struggling to let go of sexual shame and enjoy pleasurable and intimate relationships again. She is a resident on UK contraception platform, The Lowdown, and she is regularly quoted in the media for her expertise in sexual health and wellness, pleasure, and sexual shame- including Men's Health, GQ, Kinkly, The O Diaries, The Sun, Insider, and Glamour. The two of us take a critical look at the sacred sexuality and Neo-Tantra community, addressing some of the things we’ve noticed, and sharing some practical ways for listeners to explore and embody their sexuality. Key Points: Lucy introduces herself Conservatism and religion Casual sex vs hookup culture Polarity coaches New-Age to Alt-Right pipeline Heteronormativity Embodiment practices Relationship with pleasure Relevant Links: Lucy’s Website: https://lucyrowett.com/ Lucy’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucylurowett Lucy’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lucyrowett Lucy’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lucyrowettcsc Cam’s Patreon: www.patreon.com/thecamfraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Sarah Martin. Sarah is an anti-fascist sex & dating coach who helps horny people get laid ethically. She's the host of the Slutty Activism podcast and the creator of the Dignified Hedonist framework. She wrote her master's thesis about economic metaphor in pickup artist handbooks. She calls Vilnius, Lithuania home. The two of us talk about her Masters research regarding pickup artists and the seduction community. We discuss the way that sex and relationships are framed in this community, why this is detrimental, and how to reframe these for men. Key Points: Sarah introduces herself “High value”: Dating and economic metaphor Men as buyers, women as sellers Women are liars The Manosphere Masculinity and anti-femininity Shame free dating advice Talking with someone you’re attracted to Relevant Links: Sarah’s website: https://dignifiedhedonist.com Sarah’s FacebookL: https://www.facebook.com/dignifiedhedonist Sarah’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/HedonistDating Sarah’s Instagram: @dignified.hedonist

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Oliver Morton-Evans. Oliver has had a diverse career journey and is the founder of a MedTech startup based in Sydney, Australia. He has advocated for the rights of people with physical disabilities for most of his life and openly talks about sexuality. The two of us talk about Oliver’s experience dating as a person with a disability. We also talk about the lack of representation and inclusivity at Tantra and sexuality events. We then discuss the perceptions people have about disability, dating, and sex. Oliver is passionate about dispelling these misperceptions. Key points: Oliver introduces himself Disability representation Inclusivity at sexuality events Perceptions around dating Perceptions around sex Dispelling misperceptions Making sexuality work more accessible Relevant links: Oliver’s Instagram: @oliver_me79

Dr. Tara is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton (recieved her tenure at the age of 33), an award-winning researcher, a sex and relationship coach, and the host of Luvbites by Dr. Tara Podcast that focuses on sexual wellness and sexploration. Her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health Magazine, Insider, and other media outlets. She's also the Relationship Tech consultant for Couply and Scratch Adventure mobile apps. In 2022, Dr. Tara gave a TEDx Talk titled Become Sexually Powerful that highlights her 5,000-participant study examining predictors of sexual satisfaction, and her journey from an anxious immigrant to a confident Sexpert. Her life's goal is to normalize sex talks, and help people live a more passionate life and feel more sexually fulfilled through confidence and communication coaching. The two of us talk about the common concerns our clients have as well as the creative ways in which to navigate these concerns. Dr. Tara shares a lot of advice about how to communicate with your partner about sex and how to begin exploring your sexual desires. Key points: Dr. Tara introduces herself Managing mismatched libido Meeting sexual needs creatively Cultural influences on Dr. Tara’s work How to have a thriving sex life Talking before actioning Advice for exploring your fantasies Relevant links: Dr. Tara’s website: https://www.luvbites.co/ Dr. Tara’s Instagram/TikTok: @luvbites.co

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Daniel Di Pietro. Daniel is a Melbourne-based sexologist with a Masters in Sexology and provisional psychotherapist with several certifications in sex therapy; including how to treat mismatched sexual desire between couples and navigating issues of sexuality and sexual difficulties. Daniel has a keen interest in male sexual health, behaviour, pleasure and function and has presented his thesis on male sexual health for the Queensland Society of Australian Sexologists branch. Daniel enjoys working collaboratively with binary and non-binary people of all ages, cultural backgrounds, beliefs and sexual orientations. The two of us talk about the research Daniel conducted for his Masters in Sexology regarding erectile dysfunction and its impact on masculinity. We discuss how erectile dysfunction impacts men’s self-esteem and the strategies they use to compensate for it. We also look at the issues disseminating research related to men’s sexual health and functioning. Key points: Daniel introduces himself Introducing Daniel’s research The different types of erectile dysfunction Hostility and masculinity Problems recruiting study participants Compensating for erectile dysfunction Traditional sexual scripts Managing erectile dysfunction Relevant links: Daniel’s website: www.dipietrosexology.com Daniel’s instagram: @dipietrosexology Cam’s website: www.cam-fraser.com Cam’s patreon: www.patreon.com/thecamfraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Justin Houman, M.D. Justin is a board certified, fellowship-trained Urologist and Men’s Health specialist whose mission is to enhance men’s quality of life by improving their sexual, reproductive, and hormonal health. His focus is on making a difference in people’s lives through state-of-the-art, compassionate, and personally tailored care. The two of us talk about the issues men come to see him with in his position as a urologist, from low/no sperm count to low testosterone to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation to Peyronie’s disease to vasectomies. We cover a lot of gound in this episode about men’s sexual health and the types of treatments available. Key points: Justin introduces himself Sperm count and infertility issues Testosterone replacement Erectile dysfunction Premature ejaculation Pharmaceutical interventions Peyronie’s disease Vasectomies and reversals Relevant links: Justin’s Instagram: Justin.Houman.MD Jusitn’s Twitter: @JustinHoumanMD Justin’s YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/jhouman Justin’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAMensHealth/ Justin’s TikTok: @justin.houman.md Justin’s Website: https://houmanmd.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Leeza Mangaldas. Leeza is India’s foremost pleasure positive content creator. Given how shrouded in stigma sex is in India, Leeza started creating sex education content on YouTube and Instagram in 2017 with the intention to normalize conversations around sexuality, sexual health, gender, pleasure, and the body. Her videos reach millions of young people around India and the world, everyday. She also hosts a Spotify Exclusive podcast called The Sex Podcast by Leeza Mangaldas that provides scientifically accurate, judgement-free answers to commonly asked sex questions in Hindi. Leeza is a recipient of The Pleasure Project’s Pleasure Fellowship, and was named Sexual Health Influencer of the Year at the Cosmo India Blogger Awards this year- the first year they introduced this category. She has also been named one of GQ’s Most Influential Young Indians in 2021 and 2022, and received the Google x SheThePeople Digital Women Award for Content. Prior to establishing her digital platforms, Leeza presented several lifestyle, sports, and current-affairs shows on Indian television channels including ET Now and Star Sports, as well as contributed to global publications including Forbes.com, Elle, and Harper’s Bazaar. Leeza spent her childhood in Goa, went to boarding school in Kodaikanal, and then to college in New York City on a scholarship at Columbia University. She graduated magna cum laude with a BA in English and Visual Art with a focus on gender and sexuality in 2011. In this episode the two of us talk about her experience as a sex educator in India and the culturally specific things that she has noticed doing this work. Key Points: Leeza introduces herself Sex education in India Historical sex-positivity Colonial sexual repression MRAs and feminism in India Sex and marriage Sexual misinformation Dhat syndrome Relevant links: Leeza’s Instagram: instagram.com/leezamangaldas Leeza’s Youtube: youtube.com/leezamangaldas1 Leeza’s Podcast: https://spotify.link/TheSexPodcastByLeeza

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with physical therapist, life and intimacy coach Dr. Kyle Freeman, PT, DPT. Kyle guides clients toward living a more authentic life by harnessing their sexual energy, finding greater clarity in their life's purpose and shedding any negative beliefs they have about themselves. Through sex education, conscious breathwork as well as mindset practices, his clients learn to find a home inside themselves & embrace their unique qualities. As a Doctor of Physical Therapy, breathwork facilitator, online sex/lifestyle coach & mental health advocate, Kyle has learned to coach people on quality health habits that lead to overall improvements in physical and mental well-being. The two us talk about how sexual self-awareness, from being sexure in your sexuality to communicating boundaries to expressing emotions during sex. Kyle and I believe that all of these things and more are important for bettering your sex life. Key points: Kyle introduces himself Creating a safe container Communicating boundaries Emotional expression during sex Being secure in your sexuality Sexual self-awareness Comprehensive sex education Relevant links: Kyle’s Instagram: @drkyledean Kyle’s Men’s Group: patreon.com/themodernman Kyle’s Onlyfans: drkyledean-free

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jacob O’Neill. Jacob describes himself as a holder of visions, leader of heart-centered men, and absolutely hellbent on reactivating the grounded loving masculine within each man. He was a serial yes man & addicted to people-pleasing, on a mission to fit perfectly into the box society had so generously offered him. He contorted his SELF into the “model citizen” & settled in for a comfortable & safe life. But the universe had other plans, Jacob answered the call of his soul & followed what felt GOOD. Does his life look like he thought it would? NO, but it feels better than he ever could have imagined, because he is living his TRUTH. So now Jacob is committed to holding sacred space for men on the journey home to their TRUTH. The two of us talk about his personal experience of transformation and the catalysts which brought that about. We also speak about the practices he implements for becoming more aware of sensations in the body as well as the elements of pleasure, comfort and complacency. Key Points: Jacob introduces himself Routine: Double edged sword Catalysts for transformation The practice of stillness Find your own beat “If you can’t dance after the battle, then what are you fighting for?” Comfort vs complacency Relevant links: Jacob’s Instagram: @thejacoboneill Jacob’s website: https://www.jacobatoneill.com/

On today’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Anthony Ragonese. Anthony is a writer and public speaker who explores the intersection of the erotic and esoteric. He specializes in topics including masturbation, self-love, body positivity, sacred sexuality, sex magic, and enthusiasm for penises, all of which are part of his spiritual philosophy called Autoerotic Phallicism. The two of us talk about his personal philosophy and his approach to self-pleasure. Anthony also shares advice for men who are interested in exploring their sexuality and spirituality. Key Points: Anthony introduces himself The intersection of sexuality and spirituality Phallicism and self-pleasure Fascinus: the divine phallus Practical sex magick Creating an altar Advice for exploration Relevant links: Anthony’s website: https://strokingthesoul.com Anthony’s Instagram: @StrokingtheSoul

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Euphemia Russell. Euphemia, (they/them) is a full spectrum pleasure coach and bestselling author of Slow Pleasure. Euphemia is trained and certified in somatic coaching, international coaching federation, sex-positive education, sexual violence counselling, trauma-informed facilitation, and has a background in Community Cultural Development. Their work, which aims to support people to flourish and feel pleasure, despite our collective crisis of pace and disconnection, has been featured in Elle, Cosmopolitan, Vice, Harper’s Bazaar, and multiple national radios and newspapers. They are particularly dedicated to resourcing and cherishing people who are distanced from their pleasure and bodies – usually because of holding minority identities and being socialised to be people-pleasing and appeasing, defaulting to others, overgiving, and/or playing small to be safe and liked. Euphemia is of Scottish descent, born a settler on unceded Kulin Nation lands (AKA Melbourne, Australia), and a migrant to Tongva land (AKA Los Angeles, California). They hold the identities and experiences of being white, queer non-binary, able-bodied, born middle-class, and a trauma survivor. ‘Slow Pleasure’ is both the name of Euphemia’s best-selling book and their theory of change. Euphemia believes that by accessing the full spectrum of pleasure, drip by drip and microdose by microdose, readers and clients can feel their own aliveness and reestablish a nourishing connection to self, others, and the land. They see pleasure and somatics as a journey of creating moments to pause, listen and remember, rather than ‘fix’ or accumulate knowledge. Key Points Euphemia introduces themself The crisis of pace and being in the moment Microdosing pleasure and hustle culture Pleasure for the sake of pleasure Self-care vs Aftercare Post-ejaculatory vulnerability Digital boundaries Savoring the pleasure of using technology Pleasure and other emotions Relevant links: Euphemia’s Instagram: www.instagram/com/euphemia.russell Euphemia’s website: https://euphemiarussell.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Leah Carey. Leah is a Sex and Intimacy coach and host of the podcast “Good Girls Talk About Sex.” She works with people eager to explore new avenues of their sexuality and fulfill their greatest desires, like: diving back into the dating pool after a long time away, having first-time queer experiences, investigating consensual non-monogamy, or learning how to communicate about kink. Her superpower is radical empathy. The two of us talk about the harmful messages we tell our kids and how we can undo the social conditioning that limits our ability to express ourselves and explore our sexuality. Key Points: Leah introduces herself What does sexual repression look like? Harmful messages we tell our kids The “Don’t Say Gay” Bill Comprehensive Sex Education Undoing social conditioning Teaching consent to kids Relevant links: Leah’s website: www.leahcarey.com Leah’s Instagram: @GoodGirlsTalk

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Kabelo Chabalala. Kabelo is the author of “A journey from boyhood to manhood.” He is the founder of and senior mentor at the Young Men Movement (YMM), an organisation that focuses on the reconstruction of the socialisation of boys to create a new cohort of men in our society across the globe. He is a columnist for the Sowetan, and his column appears twice a month in the paper on Fridays. He was the Community Builder Awardee of the year in 2019 for the Marcia Lebambo Foundation. He was 1 of 200 Obama Leaders: Africa 2018 and a Finland Correspondent Participant 2018. Kabelo is a former PR Specialist for Lingashoni and Mzansi Magic, and a former Columnist for the The Citizen newspaper. Kabelo describes himself as a feminist at heart and as an advocate for equality as well as for the well-being of the boy-child. He is also a preacher, having obtained a Theology certificate from the Johannesburg Bible College. The toy us talk about his work as a mentor with teenage boys and how he is helping them to shift their perspectives about masculinity. We discuss how absent fathers impact these boys and how Kabelo helps them take responsibility for their sexuality. Key Points: Kabelo introduces himself Unresolved anger Stereotypical gender roles in rural South Africa Shifting ideas of masculinity Fatherlessness Responsibility and sexuality Becoming a husband Relevant links: Kabelo’s Instagram: @kb_the_village_boy Kabelo’s website: https://villageboyvoice.wordpress.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Carla Crivaro. Carla is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach. She works with men who experience sexual dysfunction and a lack of sexual desire after being present for the birth of their child. She also works with men who miss intimacy with their partner and feel disconnected from them since becoming a father. The two of us talk about what Carla has dubbed ‘The Forgotten Father’ phenomenon. We discuss the ways in which men struggle with fatherhood and how their childhood wounding can impact their relationships. Key Points: Carla introduces herself What does it mean to be trauma-informed? The Forgotten Father phenomenon Releasing trauma from the body Men’s changes in desire Testosterone and fatherhood Inner child and parenting responses Response 1: Overcompensation Response 2: Withdrawal Response 3: Passive Aggression Relevant links: Carla’s website: https://www.carlacrivaro.com/ Carla’s Instagram: @the.sexuality.sanctuary

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Rachel Overvoll. Rachel is a Somatic Sex and Intimacy Coach and author, living in Colorado. She works with clients to move beyond shame, step into safety in their bodies, and to live a life embodied in pleasure. Using her credentials from the Somatica Institute and Kinsey Institute, she works through the mediums of embodiment and self attunement to help clients step outside of shame and into the power of their authentic selves. The two of us talk about Rachel’s experience leaving a religious cult and how she overcame her sexual shame. We also discuss her work, particularly as a practitioner of the Somatica method, and how we can be more in our body when experiencing sexuality and pleasure. Key Points: Rachel introduces herself Leaving a religious cult Unpacking “purity culture” Physical manifestation of sexual shame What is the Somatic method? Men’s intimacy needs Practical advice for being in your body Relevant links: Rachel’s website: www.rachelovervoll.com Rachel’s Instagram: @rachelovervoll

Evelyn Sparks (she/her) is a certified sex coach who works to help people heal their sexual trauma and step into their most liberated sexual and emotional expression. She emphasizes bringing aspects of sacred sexuality teachings into the mainstream and curating an inclusive and approachable environment. The two of us talk about how trauma can create numbness in the body as well as how to work through this by reconnecting to the physical sensations of emotion. Evelyn shares about some of the ways we tend to avoid feeling emotions and we discuss how men can healthily tap into and express anger. We end with a conversation about kink and how BDSM containers can help with both emotional expression and regulation. Key points: Evelyn introduces herself Numbness after trauma Reframing your relationship with your body Learning to check in with yourself Avoiding emotions Creating containers to express emotions Men and anger Kink and catharsis Relevant links: Evelyn’s Instagram: @theevelynsparks Evelyn’s website: www.evelynsparks.com

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Emily Gough. Emily is a human connection coach, writer, speaker and host/founder of the respected top 200 Room to Grow™ Podcast. Fuelled by insatiable curiosity for the nuance and complexities of relationships and the human experience, she takes a holistic mind/body approach using the psychology and physiology of emotions to give you the guidance, real-life tools and perspective you need to take ownership of your life, revolutionize your relationship to yourself, and create thriving connections with others. An old soul, Emily’s style of both teaching and coaching combines powerful insights and wisdom with a playful attitude and sense of humour. With features in well-known publications like Forbes and interviews on dozens of podcasts, Emily is sought after for her compassionate, direct and genuine approach. The two of us talk about interpersonal communication and how a lack of compassion is hindering our capacity for connection with the people in our lives. Emily also shares ways in which we can cultivate courage within relationships so as to help our partner and ourselves feel safe enough to be vulnerable and authentically open up. Key points: Emily introduces herself Communication and compassion Giving people space to share Embodying compassion “The story I’m telling myself right now is…” Feeling emotions as physical sensations Courage, safety, and vulnerability Comparison and authenticity Relevant links: Emily’s Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Emily’s website: www.emilygoughcoaching.com

On this week’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jessica Harvey. Jessica is a certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach with Layla Martin’s VITA coaching. She is professionally-certified with the ICF at the PCC level, and is a student of Process-Oriented Psychology with David Bedrick. Her trauma-informed coaching is also inspired by her devotion to classical tantrik meditation and non-dual philosophy under Paul Muller-Ortega and Christopher Wallis. Jessica spent 10 years in a successful career as a Ph.D. chemist before leaving it all to go say ‘yes’ to what scared her. She spent 4 years in full-time study and practice of neo-tantric sexuality, shadow work, and kundalini in a tantric community in Asia. Now she likes to say that she studies a different kind of ‘chemistry,’ and people often call her the ‘tantric scientist.’ Since launching her Bliss Science coaching business, she has worked with hundreds of men - CEOs and leaders in tech, finance, and consulting - to rekindle passion in sexless marriages, recover confidence post-divorce, heal from performance anxiety, communicate in ways that women love, and develop a tantric mentality to life. Her offerings include: her proprietary Love, Sex, and Confidence course for Men, her new Sex Mastermind for Men, in-person VIP days, and custom-tailored 1:1 online coaching for all genders. The two of us talk about the ways in which men can open up more to their sexuality and take their sexual experiences to a deeper level. Hint: It requires getting in touch with your emotions. Key Points: Jessica introduces herself Going a journey of sexual self-discovery Men opening up about sex How to talk to your partner about sex Taking sex deeper with emotions Creating sexual safety for women Practical advice for men Relevant links: Jessica’s Instagram: @bliss.science Jessica’s Website: https://www.bliss-science.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Samantha Zipporah returns to chat with. Samantha is a fertility, sex, & cycle educator, author, & activist with over 20 years of experience. She is devoted to breaking the spells of oppression in reproductive & sexual health through collective healing, liberation, & education. A former birth doula, she provides radical love for navigating the womb continuum & reclaiming ancestral wisdom. Sam’s unique praxis weaves a balance of scientific data & spiritual presence to offer knowledge & embodied wisdom for claiming inner authority, pleasure, & power in fertility, sex, & cycles. Sam provides vital education for everyone from professionals to preteens and inspires individuals to claim their power through body literacy & sovereignty. The two of us pick up where we left off from our previous conversation and talk about the parallels between ejaculation and ovulation, and how men can take responsibility for their ejaculation by learning about the energetics of ejaculation and practicing what I call conscious ejaculation. Key points: Samantha reintroduces herself How do we reach men? Unexpected pregnancies in the Tantra community Conscious ejaculation/ovulation Fertility awareness and pleasure Presence and consent The energetics of ejaculation Connecting with ancient wisdom Relevant links: Samantha’s website: www.samanthazipporah.com Samantha’s Facebook: facebook.com/samanthazipporah Samantha’s Instagram: @samanthazipporah

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Freya Graf. Freya is a Yoni Mapping Therapist and Holistic Sex Coach & Educator. She has a background of study in Kahuna massage, yoni massage, facilitation, childcare, yoga teaching, tantric bodywork and sacred sexuality. Freya shares on her website that she was crippled by shame, guilt, and self-consciousness around her body, pleasure, and desire so she went on a journey to tackle this whole sex thing once and for all, which completely transformed her relationship to sex and her body. She says she is now deeply passionate about helping others do the same. The two of us talk specifically about her work as a Yoni Mapping therapist. Key points: Freya introduces herself What is Yoni Mapping? “Yoni” and cultural appropriation The healing power of Yoni Mapping Connecting with the genitals Tips for people who have a vulva Tips for people who like to play with vulvas Relevant links: Freya’s website: https://www.freyagraf.com/ Freya’s instagram: @freya_graf_ymt

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Silva Neves. Silva is a Psychotherapist specializing in Psychosexual & Relationship Psychotherapy, Sexual abuse, and Compulsive sexual behaviours. His model of psychotherapy is integrative and humanistic, which means that he uses different approaches from different therapeutic models to suit his client’s needs best. Silva integrates psychotherapeutic modalities, such as Gestalt, Psychodynamic, CBT, ACT, and Transactional Analysis with specific psycho-sexological knowledge and diverse relationships. The two of us talk about his new book, “Compulsive Sexual Behaviours: A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians.” We discuss the difference between the addiction and compulsion models of problematic sexual behaviour as well as the recommended approach for working with clients who struggle with watching porn. Key points: Silva introduces himself Acknowledging the problem with porn The difference between “addiction” and “compulsion” Language is important Subjectivity and personal values Shame and the problem with avoiding triggers “Becoming erotically aware, not erotically avoidant” Black-and-white thinking: Anti-porn vs Pro-porn Relevant links: Silva’s Instagram: @silvanevespsychotherapy Silva’s Website: ​​https://www.silvaneves.co.uk/

#115 Working with Men Who Use Domestic Violence (with Callan Craig) On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Callan Craig. Callan has a background in psychology and has been working in the industry specialising in healthy relationships, non violent communication and healthy masculinity. Currently working with men who use domestic and family violence facilitating programs to support them in their behavioural change process. The two of us talk about the factors contributing to situations where men use domestic violence as well as what the process of behavioural change looks like for them. Key Points: Callan introduces himself Callan shares about his work What kind of men use domestic violence? Motivations for changing behaviour Masculinity and violence The “golden thread” of violence, coercion, and abuse The process of behavioural change Resistance and vulnerability Relevant links: Callan’s Instagram: @callanncraig

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with acupuncturist, herbalist, and author Christine DeLozier. Christine specializes in sexual health and works with men, women, and patients of all gender orientation. Her book, DIET FOR GREAT SEX: Food for Male and Female Sexual Health, dives deep into the true catalysts of what makes our bodies fire on all cylinders and the best steps to maintain them through diet for as long as possible. The book introduces readers to several modalities of success including how to eat for clearer heads with stronger focus and connection, how to increase pleasure through blood flow and connected nerve pathways, meals for optimal body performance, a menu for after dinner activities to help stimulate the right places, and more. Christine says that DIET FOR GREAT SEX is for everyone who wants to have the best sex possible, through the most natural means possible, for as long as possible. It also covers common topics of concern such as erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, and reduced libido, to name just a few. The two of us talk about Christine’s book and some of the information she presents in there. Key Points: Christine introduces herself Acupuncture and the nervous system Christine talks about her book Food for improving erectile function Food for improving libido Food for improving testosterone More diet advice Relevant links: Christine’s Website: https://christinedelozier.com/ Christine’s Instagram: @dietforgreatsex

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Tyomi Morgan. Tyomi is a Certified Sexologist, Authentic Tantra Practitioner and International Pleasure Coach with 9 years of experience in the sexual health field. Her down-to-earth approach to sexuality has garnered the views of millions of eyes around the world via her advice-based Youtube channel and interactive social media presence. She is the founder of Sex Ed blog Glamerotica101.com and emphasizes sexual empowerment of black women worldwide. Tyomi's advice has been featured on several platforms and traditional media publications including Essence.com, EBONY Magazine, Blackdoctor.org, Huffington Post, Comedy Central, The New York Times, SHAPE.COM, Blacklove.com, Vogue.com, Cosmopolitan.com, Washington Post's The Lily, Clear Channel Radio, CBS Radio, Sirus XM, Playboy Radio and dozens of others. Tyomi currently serves as the Resident Sexpert and Seminar Coordinator for the Exxxotica Expo and is a member of the National Coalition for Sexual Health. The two of us talk about semen retention and how to practice this as a couple as well as the spiritual community’s shaming of ejaculation and sex toys. Key Points: Tyomi introduces herself Integrating spirituality and sexuality Introducing semen retention Semen retention is a couples practice Phallocentrism and decentering the penis Ejaculation shaming Sex toy shaming Men fear pleasure Tyomi’s Instagram: @realglamazontyomi Tyomi’s website: http://sexperttyomi.glamerotica101.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Steph Ganowski, a sex and relationship coach for men, living in NYC. Her mission is to help men improve their relationships with themselves and with their partners through tangible skillsets, mental reprogramming, and emotional awareness. Growing up, Steph was severely introverted and shy. Due to her low self-esteem, she allowed people into her life who “matched” the way she treated herself. This included the men she attracted romantically. Eventually, the prolonged mistreatment from men (and herself) was jolted by 5 incredibly caring, supportive, hilarious guys, she randomly befriended on Instagram, during a hard time. This was a huge wakeup call for Steph. It made her realize that not all men were “assholes” like she had thought. Her curiosity led her to want to understand her relationship with men more closely and understand men in general. Step one for Steph, was to start working with men, 1:1, gain their trust, reach their vulnerable side and find a way to help them. Through understanding men and helping them heal and see progress in their lives, Steph would also learn how to heal and bring people together. Her goal is to eventually get to the place where she can also help women who feel the same way about men, as she once did. Key points: Steph introduces herself Sexuality begins with you Understanding your arousal Translating masturbation to sex Non-linear sex Penis size and sexual skills Porn, stereotypes and anxiety Fear of feeling pleasure Dirty talk and sexy communication Relevant links: Stephanie’s Instagram: @stephganowski Stephanie’s website: https://www.stephanieganowski.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Samuel Shin. Samuel is an ex-psychotherapist now working as an Authentic Dating Coach. He's also a certified men's work facilitator. Samuel offers an alternative to the pick-up industry by helping men open up to their authenticity, masculinity & sexuality to naturally improve their dating & relationships. His work includes 3 components: developing masculinity, working on the root cause of insecurities, and learning what he calls "conscious pick-up.” After recording this episode, Samuel wanted to add a disclaimer for listeners. Though he shares his criticisms of the Western mental health system in the interview and why he stopped practicing therapy, he wants listeners to know that he is still a huge advocate of therapy and recommends everybody try it for at least 6-months with a therapist they really like & feel a connection with (he emphasizes personally liking them and feeling a connection as a prerequisite to successful therapy). Therapy has been instrumental in his path of growth & healing, and he believes there is nothing like it. Ge