Boxflap

We start off with tip #3 to help you get your novel-writing unstuck on the business end of the mullet - and then be party in the back end of the episode with a wild Minnesota road trip story involving a 60-foot statue, a drain hole, and a violated drive-through window.

Today's episode is decidedly a new direction for Boxflap! I reveal my first-ever car, declare an un-training manifesto for lions (or bold writers), and unveil the 1976 Ford Elite that makes you realize we are regressing as a society.

In spring, young men's hearts turn to thoughts of love, but for the rest of us, thoughts of mash-ups abound! Author update, pitch session to important movie development producer, and the glory of the laugh track. 

In this quick-take episode, I lay down a heavy thought about creativity and I tell you a marsupial-themed joke - all in under five minutes. PRODUCTION NOTE: This was an on-the-fly recording, not with my cool new microphone, but I really wanted to get an episode out and appease the guilt monkey until I have more time to do a fully produced episode.

SEASON 2 - EPISODE 3: Oh, boy is this a juicy episode! One-star reviews for George Orwell's 1984, a special work by the new Surgeon General, and the perfect solution for your friends who have a "face for radio". Oh, and Cardi B blows our minds! Literally!

Brought to you by the noodle-of-the-month club. That's using your noodle! This is the most very-est Valentine's Day special ever!* In this episode you'll learn why The Cure had to change their name, and why we need to put the Valentines back in Valentine's Day! (Mostly because no one seemed too excited about celebrating VD day.)

*Not when compared to most other shows.

It's a new year. Time to set goals. Time plan what to eat once you get out of jail. Time to talk the world's second and/or third richest man on the planet. And what about babies? Shouldn't they have goals? Also, breaking news about my latest book release: Sea Monkeys. Now get cracking on that baby-making!

Two - count them - TWO Christmas reads today: 

• Wilton the Whistle Pig Rides the Christmas Bus to Lily Pad Pond
• Mrs. Fezziwig's Complaint

Also, some author news and a heart filled with holiday cheer.

To quote ol' Fezziwig: Chirrup! Hilli-ho! Scrumwumpery and fiddle!

As soon as I press publish on the episode, the Christmas season officially begins. I hope you haven't decorated yet: that is not allowed. I will be checking. In this episode, you are treated to a rare moment when the world's greatest mind magician is persuaded to play Santa Claus at an orphanage. Let's just say the orphans were very surprised.

What can I say? When life hands you a morning brainstorm, go for it! Sure, it might take all day, but solitude builds character, right? And it's not like I was trying to avoid sanding sheetrock today or anything. Heck no! This is a genuine Thanksgiving episode. It's got a turkey dinner and all the trimmings...including MURDER! Mwaahaahaaa! Think Off 3, a new fake sponsor, and the Worst of the Best Books looks at one-star reviews of The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers.

The Book Reader Wrecking Crew and I tag-teamed to perform a new funny story called Clickbait. But we also played some Think Off 3, and now you know how it's done! Direct all talent inquiries to wilhelm.hellentrance.the.third@hellmail.com. 

This transmission is brought to you by the Beyond...Episode 25 is devoted to the audio version of the comedic (that means "funny") paranormal humor story called OUIJA BORED. It's my Halloween gift to the world! Take that, Mercury Retrograde! 

Do you have friends? Do you even like them? You can share this episode or share just the audio version of Ouija Bored from my website at: https://chauncestanton.com/ouija-bored/

Turn down the lights and unbuckle your spacesuit! We've got calls from the beyond and terrifying book reviews on this first-ever Halloween edition of Boxflap.

This episode was a blast. I started putting it together, feeling pretty low energy, but then the creativity just started flowing. Guaranteed to make 2 out of 3 people chuckle - assuming you're standing next to a couple of idiots.

You get it all in this episode - a dramatic author reading, a new wiener-related sponsor, and the history of the phrase "crook of the tree". Yes, you should be worried.