Cinema Supercollider

Jake Busey as dollar store Brett Michaels does a star turn in this comedy horror gem.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1987 arm wrestling movie Over the Top, starring Sylvester Stallone and Robert Loggia! If you've ever wondered what goes into a double elimination professional arm wrestling competition before, this film will go into confusing detail for the entirety of the third act... and we still have no clue what's going on.

In this Charles Band comedy/horror picture, the Stackpool family is quadruplets, each of whom has special powers. One has super senses, one has super strength, one has boobies, and one is a giant head, the titular "Head Of The Family."

When a local dirtbag tries to blackmail Myron (the head) he has other plans.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1972 environmental science fiction film, Silent Running starring Bruce Dern! In a future where all flora is extinct on Earth, orders are given to destroy the last of Earth's botany, but one man, along with his robot companions, makes a stand to save the plants.

Tom Selleck is a future cop with acrophobia who gets drawn into a cyber-mystery in this sci-fi, action film from the '80s. Written and directed by Michael Chriton and featuring Gene Simmons from Kiss as the bad guy.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1988 sci fi rom com, Earth Girls Are Easy! Three furry aliens crash into Geena Davis' swimming pool and shenanigans ensue. Also, shirtless Jeff Goldblum made a significant impression on young Megan. Just sayin'.

Jon Voight and an all-star cast hunt for a giant snake in the Amazon.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1978 Donny and Marie Osmond movie, Goin’ Coconuts!  It’s a little bit of that one episode of the Brady Bunch when they went to Hawaii and a little bit of the Beatles’ film, Help, but with 100% more wholesome 1970s Osmond goodness.  Megan was a little disappointed in the level of goons, but we were very impressed at Marie Osmond’s scream queen abilities.

Race car driver Emilio Estevez wakes up in the not-too-distant future of 2009 and finds himself playing hide-and-seek with Mick Jagger, Mike from Breaking Bad, & Anthony Hopkins.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1985 action thriller from Cannon Films, Runaway Train.  It scored three Academy Award nominations and won Jon Voight a Golden Globe for Best Actor. It was based on a screenplay by Akira Kurosawa.  It was nominated for Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival.  Critics loved it. BUT IT WAS A CANNON FILM THO. 

This trilogy of movies from the Lifetime Network stars Eric Roberts as an erotomanic heart surgeon who stalks girls in his spare time.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1986 sci fi horror comedy, Night of the Creeps! Fraternity pranks are never good for anyone involved, but especially when they result in the campus being overrun by slug monsters. Thankfully, Tom Atkins is here to save the day.

The all-singin' all-dancin' musical family horror-comedy from Japanese director Takashi Miike! This picture has something for everyone!

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1989 Hulk Hogan wrestling action flick, No Holds Barred! Network executives looking for extreme wrestling action find it in the form of Zeus, a killer wrestler out for blood, and pit him against Rip (aka Hulk Hogan) for a bloodthristy battle to be televised for the highest ratings.

Charlton Heston is the last man on earth after a biological weapon turns everyone into albino luddites.

In this classic episode, we talk about the notorious 1988 big budget flop, Ishtar, starring Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman!  Two terrible lounge singers get booked to play a gig in a Moroccan hotel but somehow become pawns in an international power play between the C.I.A., the Emir of Ishtar, and the rebels trying to overthrow his regime.

It’s not good, y’all.  It’s just… not good.  So not good.  At all.

Gene Simmons, John Stamos, and Vanity star in this '80's action schlock about a young college student who teams up with a sexy secret agent to get revenge for his father's death, and maybe save greater Los Angeles.

In this classic episode, we take a look at one of the most notorious big budget flops - the 1995 Kevin Costner action vehicle, Waterworld! Everything about this one is soggy, including the acting, plot and overall production.

Giant bird-monster attacks, and ritual gruesome murders in Manhattan. Sure, that's an ordinary day in gritty NYC, but are they somehow connected?

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1973 black comedy The Girl Most Likely To... starring Stockard Channing and written by Joan Rivers! It's your typical Ugly Duckling tale, but with a lot more murder and revenge.

John De Hart's glorious action thriller, starring John De Hart, directed by John De Hart, written by John De Hart, with songs by John De Hart. Co-stars Wings Hauser and Playboy's Miss April 1978, Pamela Jean Bryant. A passion project of awful.

In this classic episode, we look at the 1989 action movie Road House, starring Patrick Swayze! Dalton's a hotshot bouncer that has been called in to clean up the Double Deuce, a rowdy bar that is a reflection of an equally rowdy town. Remember to be nice (until it's time to not be nice).

Singing sensation of the sixties Tiny Tim co-stars as a disturbed clown in this slasher/mystery film.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1986 action movie, Low Blow, starring Leo Fong! If you like lazy martial arts fights that take place in dirt pits and kids' playgrounds, this is the film for you. Also, Cameron Mitchell stops by to sit around as a mysterious cult leader.

A wacky comedy starring Yahoo Serious, full of gags (mostly about physics) and Aussie in-jokes that bombed at the box office.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1994 sci fi comedy film, Tammy and the T-Rex, featuring Denise Richards and Paul Walker! Girl meets boy, boy gets murdered, girl meets dinosaur with her dead boyfriend's brain in it... a love story for the ages.

In this episode, we take a look at the career of Phil Tippett and his film, Mad God, a bio-horror stop-motion animation, that was 30 years in the making.

John Stone, aka Joe Huff, aka Brian Bosworth, aka, The Boz is TERRIBLE at his job in this '90s action masterpiece.

In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1982 action movie, Megaforce, starring Barry Bostwick and Persis Khambatta! In the future, flying motorcycles and speed suits are all the rage, and kissing your thumb is the highest form of affection.

In this classic episode, we go on an adventure with the 1961 Jules Verne novel turned movie, Mysterious Island!  Come for the Harryhausen animation, stay for the giant crab boil. Also, books are drugs for your brain.

Save your quarter for the Killer Cow machine instead

Stuart Gordon's Weird masterpiece from 1986 featuring Jeffrey Combs & Barbara Crampton and tiny forehead dicks.

In this classic episode, we look at Mac & Me, the feature length McDonald's ad that tells the heartwarming tale of a boy and his cola-addicted alien, which is totally not a rip off of E.T. at all. Pretty nice!

In this episode, we take a look at the 1971 hard science fiction film The Andromeda Strain! Back in the 70s, movies were totally cool with showing you how actual science unraveled mysteries and this one is chock full of people looking at graphs, conducting tests and experimenting on rats. Will they solve the mystery of why a baby and an old man are still alive when they’ve been exposed to a deadly virus bacteria STRAIN from outer space?

Three PhD students head to a spooky castle in the woods to study folklore and find the place lousy with vampires. Some are the sexy brooding type and some are... Radu.

In this classic episode, we take a look at Thunder in Paradise, a movie that is definitely not a television show but an actual film movie cinema thing. Come for the Thunder, a TARDIS on water, stay for the romance between Chris Lemmon and Hulk Hogan.

There's ghosts in your flip phone!

A heartwarming tale of a girl, her seal and her weird grandfather (played by Sterling Holloway, better known as the voice of Winnie the Pooh). Definitely not an extended ad for Sea World. Also, Foster Brooks drives drunk because that's how you get the funny in your kiddie movie.

V.C. Andrews's bestselling novel about child abuse, murder, and inappropriate sexual situations is brought to the screen in glorious bland-0-vision.

Classic episode! It's part Biblical allegory, part musical, all big budget flop, the Apple tells the story of two naive singer/songwriters that get led into temptation by the evil dysptopian future (1994!) music industry.

Stunts, car chases, '70s hard rock music, and wizard fights!

Take off, ya hosers!

In this classic episode, we take a look at the very weird, very greasy 2016 indie film, The Greasy Strangler!  If John Waters and David Lynch donated their DNA to science and somebody slapped it together and dunked it in a vat of tapioca pudding, this is probably what you get.  So many fake penises too…

Everyone's favorite stoner comedy duo' first film!

Classic episode! We give in to the inevitability of the 1974 Sean Connery sci fi cult classic, Zardoz!  There was no way we wouldn’t eventually do this one.  The gun is good, the penis is evil, y’all.

Finally, D&D on the big screen!

A space alien takes over the body of a freaky worn-out drug addict and uses him to take a spin through the seedy underbelly of South Africa.

We conclude March-O-Gortner with Burt I. Gordon's second adaptation of H.G. Welles' Food Of The Gods. Hope you like ferry trips and giant rats!

March-O-Gortner month continues with the semi sexy rip-off of star wars.

An action movie starring Marjoe Gortner (and the daredevil Evel Knievel.) Kind of a dud but with lotsa motorcycle stunts, a drunk Gene Kelly, an exploding Porsche, and an evil, drug-lord mastermind played by Leslie Nielsen.