CPTSD Recovery: We Are Traumatized Motherfuckers

Back to NonViolent Communication! Here are 10 things the experts say destroy our attempts at vulnerable disclosures and requests. Just in time for the holidays, let's talk about why these conversational reactions burn our t-brains and why people are programmed to use them, anyways.

For the full transcript and all the doods, check t-mfrs.com and get ready to peruse for hours.

To jump into the full-length conversations and deep dives, head over to patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. And help support this project's continuation while you're there!

Let's run through a bunch of messages today, and end on a trauma recovery inspired tune - sent by a gifted MF putting their skills to good use for all of us. We'll talk about fearing borderline diagnoses, redesigning life to meet our recovery needs, the utility of journaling and trauma narration, and beyond.

Thanks again to Somber Mercy for their share and song submission! Find them at instagram.com/sombermercy

If you want to be a part of the Mailbag or Motherfuckers Speaks episodes, send your shiiiiiit to traumatizedmotherfxckers@gmail.com to get on the show, in written or recorded form.

Cheers y'all

MFJess

Ever feel like you've got a whole household of people contained in one skull? Fighting, just like they did in your family home? Turns out, that's normal. 

Today, let's talk about Internal Family Systems and the roles cemented in your brain. Protectors, Exiles, Distractors, and their vicious cycles that leave us feeling out of control of our own noggins. Plus, how to work with them, instead of hosting raging battles inside forever.

Looking for more deets or just want to help support this solo-DIY project? It's much needed and appreciated. Hit up patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers to keep the knowledge spreading through diverse social systems. 

Check t-mfrs.com for more info on the whole community healing project.

🍻 Cheers y'all

Jess

When your brain is a spiralling hellhole of "not good enough, never have been"... sometimes you withdraw. When that shitscape is finally over, it's time to reconsider the hiding you've been doing. 

Let's talk about what happened in those isolative times '21-22 and the sudden re-release of episodes from the beginning days of this accidental podcast. 

Stoked to get better acquainted... and hail yer damn Self, Fuckers. 

Cheers

MFJess

Let's talk about the opposition we face during trauma recovery - namely, from our social contacts who aren't ready to have their own histories and perspectives pulled into focus. And, let's discuss the reason why the battle is worth all the effort.

Don't give up, brave Motherfucker. Remember that what you're doing matters. For everyone. ✊

Related eps: perspective series, filial obligaton series, brain programming series, family hijinx series, NC eps, refind yer Self series, inner and outer work series

So we do this painful and energetically expensive inner work. And then what? Return to the same old lives? Naw, Fucker. That's the fastest way to hit "revert to draft." Once the integrative inner work starts, the outer labor has to keep up. 

Let's talk about supporting our brain changes by building new lives, to enable further cognitive evolution as we keep stepping. 

Related eps: inner and outer work series, refind & empower yer Self series, re-association eps, confronting common human fears ep, early season motivation eps

Aiming for recovery, but finding that you never have the conditions to make progress?

Let's talk about what it takes for a brain to heal. The basic mediums of life that most of us are unable to access in our traumatized society. 

Related eps: time distortion series, "rat cage" societal trauma series, inner and outer work series, refind yer Self series

A brain is busy with all those survival processes running in the background and the second-by-second management of triggers and symptoms. So what happens when that system gets overloaded?

Today, we're talking about the pattern of symptom masking/ignorance, overcompensation, loss of functionality, and eventual collapse. And how does "resilience vs. resistance" change our perspective?

Related eps: brain operations series, perspective series, inner and outer work series

Back to this self-limiting conversation... what happens when our "selves" are limited by incohesion? When we have inner wars over "the right thing," or oppositional memory and emotional responses confusing every issue?

Let's talk about the battle that rages inside. Revisiting "parts" and how they're the crux of pulling your shit together for long-lasting recovery. 

Related eps: fragmentation series, DID series, find and empower yer Self series, inner and outer work series, derealization and depersonalization eps

You've decided to enact new behaviors to change your life... only to find you can't actually put them into practice. You stall out and revert to old programs to your own bewilderment. Something is stalling progress from the inside.

Let's talk about self-limiting strategies for living spawned by trauma. And the ways they become "default modes" of daily existence. 

Related eps: self-limitation series, the cages we create ourselves, refind yer Self series, inner & outer work series

Ready to retrain your brain and behaviors? Talked a lot about these topics, and highly recommend diving deeper for reflection. Hit patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for the full series on this subject. 

So we all have a penchant for fear, it's a foundational aspect of PTSD. But what happens when our brain relay system is wonky due to those adaptations? 

Let's talk about the faulty DMN. How it throws us into disjointed memories, disables continuous autobiographical recall, explains poor sense of somatic (bodily) self, and interacts with those pesky sub-sensory threshold fear triggers. Reflect on this one, it'll explain a lot.

Related eps: DMN ep, entrapment series, developmental biology and disassociation eps across seasons

We know, trauma brains create patterns that can stall us out and keep us stuck. This is especially true when talking "relationships" of all forms. Unfortunately, leading many to feel permanently socially-tethered, personally incapable, and suicidal, instead.

Today, let's talk about how relationships often corrupt our lives, how to re-work them, and when it's time to say goodbye - all for recovery's sake. 

Related eps: relationship obligation series, covert abuse series, brain patterning series, filial obligaton series, self-limitation series

The time comes for all of us; the family call to duty. And then what. We know it's going to trigger unwanted trauma reactions. But resisting often feels futile, immoral, and socially-punishing.

Let's talk about the dangers of family re-immersion for a healing trauma brain and what we can do to protect ourselves before the filial phonecalls start. 

Related eps: filial obligation and entrapment series, family brain hijinx series, fawning series, brain operations series, social psychology ep

Perspective; A word with many meanings, depending on who's speaking it. Namely, the bane of, "that's just ONE perspective."

Let's talk about the real definition of the word, how it pertains to post-traumatic stress development, where attention vs. willful ignorance comes into play, and how no one can ever have your irreplicable perspective. Trust your guts, Fuckers. You know where you've been. 

Related eps: perspective series, time distortions series, covert abuse series, family brain hijinx series

Have you been struggling to make meaningful progress? Well, these global events don't help. Especially when they feel so... family-iar... to our trauma brains. 

Let's talk about the semi-accepted phases of trauma recovery - destabilization, processing, and integration. And how societal systems keep bringing us back to square one.

Related eps: "the rat cage" societal trauma series, refind yer Self series, inner work series

Ever doubt that "it was significant enough to count as t-word"? 

Well, the key word is significance. 

Let's break this down simply and talk about what really creates PTSD; our brains' subjective experience of fear and the meaning we give events (and ourselves) in the aftermath. 

Related eps: filial obligation and entrapment series, perspective series

We're back! Let's wrap up a year of in-depth trauma research and community insights with a new season. 

• Free holiday support Discord server: https://discord.gg/5AYuCuQRhn 
• Public holiday episodes (browse or search "holiday"): patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers
• Full episode guide: https://www.t-mfrs.com/epguide

Ho-ho-ho, Motherfucker. I'll see you there. 

Convinced you aren't individually damaged, doomed, or destitute yet? Sick. But that comfort doesn't do much good if your brain, behaviors, and life don't change along with the perspective. 

Here are 10 steps for CPTSD recovery and your life redesign. Keeping in mind, "different strokes for different folks," "different gains for different brains." Let the experiment begin. 

See you on the other side, Motherfucker. 

For a lot more "moving forward" information and support... you know by now. Patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for the catalogue of podcast episodes so far, some videos, some worksheets, and access to the private Discord support community. 

Submit your recovery or struggle story any time - just send your recording to traumatizedmotherfxckers@gmail.com. Reach a hand back for the Fuckers that follow. 

Cheers y'all, and thanks for the time you've given your brain. 

Jess

Do you edit your daily activities to feel "acceptable," to the detriment of your own wants, needs, and goals? Can you see yourself clearly from the outside, on one timeline? Do you have the power to "drop out" of your brain and observe its activities as a separate observer? 

Maybe not.

Today, we're talking about the loss of "Self" - the most flowery and easily dismissible of the CPTSD hallmarks... which might explain why we continually lose progress in trauma recovery. It's the key to keeping your brain, behaviors, and 'balance' on track. The cognitive task-manager that knows what you're here to accomplish. The center of human "purpose" and autobiographical experience. And the most elusive of the CPTSD recovery tools - especially when its been deemed "shameful" for so long. 

Let's talk about your Self. My favorite top-down and bottom-up tool for bypassing dissociation and keeping that brain in working order. 

Uh, lot more to say about this one. My Self has been a bit conceptually Self-obsessed, as it relates to neurobiology and plasticity. Check those detailed episodes out at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and prepare to see your brain from a management-enabling distance that allows life-managing clarity. 

It might be the best thing you've ever done for your Self. 

Cheers Fuckers.

Jess

What's the difference between "being a good person" and sacrificing your whole life to support others? In most of our families and social structures... there isn't one. Which makes it pretty hard to name the problem, re-examine your instincts to serve, or stand up for your right to operate your own brain. 

Today, let's talk about one of the most ignored and normalized survival responses. Fawning. 

If history has anything to say - sorry to everyone who kickstarts a new round of therapy because of this conversation. It's been a commonly enlightening topic for revealing accepted, pervasive, trauma patterning. 

For a lot more talk on fawning, including some 2021 year-end wrapups that are coming out in January, hit up patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Check t-mfrs.com if yer curious about the whole project, and to find visual versions of the shows. 

Cheers, MFucking Fawners. 

Jess

Here's a holiday release for ya. Merry whatever-you-do, and let's talk about families fuckin things up.  

Mental illness seems to run in families, do'nnit? Turns out, there's some biological mirroring mechanisms you might want to hear about. Why are you "the way you are"? It's because of them. Why do they refuse to see your progress and personality realistically? It's also because of them. 

Today, let's talk brain development, brain programming, and brain-protection tactics (you might know them as scapegoating, cognitive dissonance, and delusions). Buckle up, Blacksheep. it's time to talk about the dangers of dysregulated humans penning the blueprints for younger brains. Generational trauma, yeehaw.  

Want to hear more about this? I've got a few shows from this summer that might make sense of your... world. Hit t-mfrs.com for more project information and patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers whenever you're ready to jump in to the episode backlog, exercises, and support community.  

Cheers and good luck out there.  Jess