Confidently She

I learned I had mental health issues because of my body image. I didn't think of the two as related, I just thought that's how I thought about myself. But a negative body image is definitely a mental health issue. You can’t have a conversation about mental health without including body image and I think that’s overlooked in the conversation, so I'm talking about it on this episode.

Body image isn't something you have to "manage" or "deal with" it's something you can fix! It's a powerful tool in strengthening your mental health (not to mention it does wonders for your physical health, too!)

Important links:

The Body Image Solution Book: https://bit.ly/3pzeOeE

Work with Rebekah: https://bit.ly/3psetu2

Shop Body Image Resources: https://bit.ly/3O0lmwY

Negative body talk is normalized in our culture to a point you might not realize you're doing it. It's become its own genre of comedy, especially for women, but I'd like to UN normalize this kind of thing. We shouldn't make fun of our bodies in an attempt to avoid criticism or "say it before someone else does" that's not what confident women do. Confident women over come negative body talk and this episode gives you my strategies and tips for how to have positive self talk.

Join the challenge! https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/challenge

Welcome to season 4! We're getting started with a BANG because I'm sharing my personal journey of body image healing. The result of building a positive body image is the absence of stress and pain. I explain how it feels like the freedom to just do things. I'm sharing my "Big 4" body image issues that I struggled with, the breakthroughs I made to heal them, and how I think about these 4 things now that I'm fully confident and comfortable in my body.

Important links from the episode...

Passion & Growth box: https://passionandgrowth.com/

Body Confidence Breakthrough: https://bit.ly/3MNBIII

The Body Image Solution Program: https://bit.ly/3A2IFhl

The Body Image Solution Book: https://bit.ly/3KFxsbq

Pepper Small Boob Bra Brand: https://www.wearpepper.com/

Feeling disconnected? Not spiritually fulfilled or inspired? It might be your body image distracting you from your spiritual practice! When you struggle with body image, you can easily overlook how you are made in the image of God. Listen to this episode to understand what's stopping you from being more connected to your body, why being connected to your body is essential before you can be spiritually healthy, and perspective shifts to honor and care for your body as part of your spiritual practice.

Important links from the episode...

Body Confidence Breakthrough: https://bit.ly/3L1qZZQ

Body Image Resources: https://bit.ly/3L0rfbr

Do you struggle with self worth? Find out how body image intersects with identify and how it might be harming your self worth. Separating your appearance from your identity helps ease your body image struggles - find out how on this episode of Confidently She! Don't forget to check out all the ways to coaching options, courses, and resources using the links below:

Day of Voice Notes, Coaching - https://bit.ly/3Kq2IMI

Resources - https://bit.ly/3M5TKpd

Shop - https://bit.ly/42ZKDfO

Body shame and guilt are a common barrier to body confidence. Listen in to hear the sources of body shame, what shame really is, and how to overcome guilt and body shame in a healthy way.

Resources:

Day of Voice Notes: https://bit.ly/3Gbyp9X

Get The Body Image Solution book!: https://bit.ly/3Ka23hg

Do you want peace and joy in your relationship with food & exercise? Believe it or not, God has a plan for that. You might wonder, what does my body relationship have to do with holiness and godliness? What does being christian have to do with body image?Well, let's talk about it. In this episode, I'm covering the tension between how the world views bodies and how God views them. Since we are made in the image of God, it's no surprise that God has something to say about what we eat and how we care for our bodies. This episode outlines the mindset and heart posture towards our bodies I see God desiring for his children. 

Links: https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/book

Raise your hand if you've been personally victimized by purity culture?? Religion has a lot to say about how women should dress, but what does scripture actually say? What does God's heart say in this? How does the fact women are also created in the image of God influence how he designed women to exist in this world? In this episode, Rebekah addresses personal style, modesty, and cultural conditioning around "appropriate" dress code.

Want guidance building a healthy relationship with food + body? Join UNdiet Online here: https://undietonline.com/?rfsn=7096606.4f00d00

Giving money away releases the grip it has on your heart. This is what I learned from giving 10% of each paycheck to church and charity over 2022. Scripture calls this tithing, but for a long time I didn't do it. When we choose American traditions and culture over God's advice for holy living, we start putting our trust in things other than God. Listen in for how my financial journey of 2022 shaped me spiritually. I hope this encourages you and brings new perspectives on your relationship with money, tithing, church, and how God provides in all our lives. 

The Body Image Solution Book: https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/shop

Redemption Church Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/redemption-church-twin-cities/id1290360653 

Dating in 2023 is crazy. There's a lot of advice out there for how to date as a christian and what christian dating should look like, but have we stopped to ask if it's really part of the Christian calling? If you attend any church service in America, you might think it's a requirement for membership. In this episode, Rebekah challenges confusing "The American Dream" with God's plan and considers 1 Corinthians 7 when Paul wrote that it's better for christians who are single to "remain as they are" rather than get married. Perhaps God is, again, trying to save us from struggles, distractions, heartbreak, and more by encouraging singleness. Listen in to get reassurance that singleness is not a disease to be cured, but a powerful (recommended) status for members of the church body. Links: The Body Image Solution (my book!): https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/shop Sign up for my 16 Days to Beat Negative Self-Talk (free!): www.thebodyimagesolution.com

As we approach the end of this season, I want to level set on what body confidence feels like in the relationship with your body. There's a difference between body positivity and body confidence. In this episode, I talk about why body confidence is more powerful than body neutrality, or positivity, etc. 

Learn about Everyday Upgrades: https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/everyday-upgrades

Fix your body relationship: https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/program

Book a Magic Hour session with me: https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/offers/gYvPQBHW

Most health goals are really just vanity metrics. You probably learned this from companies like Beachbody and WeightWatchers that used things like inches, pounds, and dress sizes to measure success of their health programs. But that's not health, it's vanity. Just like with Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, some creators want millions of followers, while others want to make an impact in people's lives. It's possible to do both, but when you're chasing the metrics it's easy to burn out and lose focus of what's important. Listen to this episode to get all the tea on how to set good health goals, the cringy rebrand of Beachbody, and why people are trolling WeightWatchers on Twitter.

Everyday upgrades: https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/shop

If you've considered getting implants, a nose job, etc. you'll like this episode. Here's why I don't agree with the "it doesn't impact anyone except me" response to questions about cosmetic surgery, implants, and fillers. In this episode, you'll hear me break down a few points of consideration most people don't think about when weighing the pro's and con's of these procedures. Putting aside all the health risks, cost, side effects, etc. I'm bringing to light humanist and feminist perspectives of racial appropriation, generational confusion, and economic disparity. These treatments and surgeries widen the economic gap of beauty where the rich can be beautiful and the poor cannot. There must be a deeper level of accountability in how we approach these decisions, and my hope is people stop.

Links mentioned:

Get $20 off Sprinly: https://i.refs.cc/ADQH4Ucy?smile_ref=eyJzbWlsZV9zb3VyY2UiOiJzbWlsZV91aSIsInNtaWxlX21lZGl1bSI6IiIsInNtaWxlX2NhbXBhaWduIjoicmVmZXJyYWxfcHJvZ3JhbSIsInNtaWxlX2N1c3RvbWVyX2lkIjoxMjc5MTk0MTIxfQ%3D%3D

Enroll in The Body Image Solution: https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/program

Join Everyday Upgrades: https://www.thebodyimagesolution.com/everyday-upgrades

I don't have all the answers, and I want to be a voice you can listen to when you're struggling. I'm right there with you and working out my own challenges in different areas of life. One thing on my mind lately has been the pressure to have your art, book, podcast, music, or hot takes go viral simply because it's possible. Everyone talks about making money doing something you love, but is that what we are designed for? I'm not sure. This episode was straight off the dome because honestly I had no idea what to talk about. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I bite off more than I can chew and over commit to things in an effort to "hold myself accountable" See? I'm still trying to tame my inner perfectionist and high achiever. I'm still learning how to rest and find rhythms of healthy productivity.

These days it's hard to find healthy body image mentors. With all the filters, surgery, and inauthentic "realness" constantly in our faces...knowing what healthy looks like can feel impossible. That's why I'm here! Listen to this episode to have some healthy reminders of what physical health, fitness, etc. actually looks like for you, me, and everyone in between. 

Don't forget to join The Body Image Solution email list and grab my downloads!

Want to join the list? www.thebodyimagesolution.com/join

Need the basic body goal setting checklist? www.thebodyimagesolution.com/checklist

Wanna learn how love (actually) grows? www.thebodyimagesolution.com/love

This one is a heavy hitter! Women's bodies have been sexualized and objectified by culture so much, we do it to ourselves without realizing it. Listen to this episode to find out ways this is hurting your body image and body confidence, plus how you can challenge your body to do impressive things (like when I ran a marathon) to help anchor your body confidence in things that matter.

Don't forget to join The Body Image Solution email list and grab my downloads!

Apply for an American Express Card with this link. With your new Card, you could earn a welcome bonus and your friend could earn a referral bonus. Terms Apply. https://americanexpress.com/en-us/referral/REBEKBB7In?XLINK=MYCP

Want to join the list? www.thebodyimagesolution.com/join

Need the basic body goal setting checklist? www.thebodyimagesolution.com/checklist

Wanna learn how love (actually) grows? www.thebodyimagesolution.com/love

Body confidence is wrapped up in the idea of a “body goal” but it shouldn't be that way. Listen to this episode to learn about the tombstone test and how to focus on what really matters. You don't need to reach your body goal before you can be confident in your body. Grab the free checklist to set better body goals for yourself! Scroll down to get it now. Confidence doesn't come from looking perfect (for real) it comes from valuing your body on deeper things than just what you look like.

Don't forget to join The Body Image Solution email list and grab my downloads!

www.thebodyimagesolution.com/join

www.thebodyimagesolution.com/checklist

Welcome to season 3 of Confidently She! I’m sure you have an idea of what will make your body better. Listen to this episode to get my perspective on how beauty standards have never been about how you look, but about creating an impossible standard to chase. The thing about body image is you always think looking better will make you happier, increase your confidence, and all the things commercials promise. Here's what I've learned, better never really comes. Why? Because if you don't change how you think about your body, your brain will always find a new version of "better" to chase. Stop chasing unrealistic beauty standards and body ideals and start living your life! Listen to this episode now.

Don't forget to join The Body Image Solution email list and grab my downloads! 

www.thebodyimagesolution.com/join

www.thebodyimagesolution.com/checklist

Well, well, well. How the turn tables...I'm back for a special bonus episode! Listen in to get the tea on how 2022 has been for me, book updates, how I'm thinking about growth, and how to get more Confidently She in your life.

Do you beat yourself up for not making necessary changes soon enough? I've felt that. No matter how long you stayed somewhere you "shouldn't have" you still made the courageous decision to make a change. Change is one of the hardest things for people to do! In this episode, I'm offering some encouragement and perspective on making changes and the two ways people respond to it. 

How do you speak with confidence? Let me tell you. This episode has some gems from my college days as a speech kid winning multiple state championships and (in my book) tying for 2nd place in the nation in persuasive speaking. The ability to articulate your thoughts and opinions is a vital tool in your confidence belt. These tips will help you become better, no matter what level you're currently at.

Whew! Have you thought long and hard about why you're insecure about what you're insecure about? There are women half way around the world feeling insecure about completely different things...why? Because nearly everything we believe is a result of cultural conditioning. When you grow up in a patriarchal culture, misogyny can play a role in how you view yourself and other women. In this episode, I'm breaking down where your worth comes from and how that's tied to your self-worth.

Sexism in Christianity - it's all over the place, what do we think about it? Well, the Bible elevated women above their social status at the time, which was a very feminist thing to do - if you ask me. To help in the heavy lifting of this discussion, I brought a guest. Again, I don't always have guests, but when I do, I prefer to have guests who are very smart and provide deeper insight I simply don't have exposure to at the moment. We are blessed by Phylicia Masonheimer to do a mini Bible study on how God clothes virtues within men and women.

Struggling to love yourself just as you are? Can't seem to feel confident 24/7? Yikes. Same, girl, same. Misogyny makes you believe even existing as a woman is a burden. There's a lot to unpack around that topic. Thankfully, confidence isn't a state of being. Confidence isn't a personality type. Confidence is a practice and mindset! Listen to this episode to get my no-longer-a-secret sauce to facing my day-to-day insecurities and how I think about day-to-day things like buying new jeans, etc. Your thoughts are not who you are. Your body is not who you are. Your clothing size is not who you are. 

Do you have a fear of being noticed? Are you afraid to stand out? Women are socially conditioned to expect criticism for standing out, whether they look good or bad. This causes a hindrance on your ability to express yourself. Self expression is one of the purposes of life. I believe and see in scripture that God designed us to express his glory through our unique and distinct attributes and gifts. This is something you should practice doing if you want to grow in your confidence! Listen in for the full story on why I was hesitant to get bangs and much more. P.S. stop warning people about bangs. Lots of women can pull them off, just don't go to GreatClips and expect them to look good.

What's your go to verse on body insecurities? Womp. womp. Someone asked me this and I didn't have an answer. Why? Because body image actually isn't the issue. It's a symptom of an underlying illness. That illness could be pride, shame, but ultimately it's insecurity. The Bible speaks to how to deal with pride and shame, but obviously not body image. One challenge with trying to solve body image from a worldly perspective is that it's based in nothing more than your own opinion and belief. And your own opinion and belief can just as easily be negative (and most often is) so who are you to say your body is actually good v. bad? What authority do you have? Hmm. None. That's what leads me to giving the authority of my value over to God, the one who created me in His image. I don't get to decide who I am or what I am.

Every time you feel down about your body ask yourself a simple question, compared to who? I have another rare occurrence of a lovely guest on the show, Heather Creekmore, the author of Compared to Who? which is a book title I'm obsessed with. Listen in to catch our conversation about comparison and body image and how to use God's truth to direct our thoughts about bodies, self worth, and confidence.

Why are beautiful women insecure? Expectations create insecurity more than flaws or shortcomings. Believe it or not, looking good doesn't solve insecurities. Confidence has nothing to do with the way you look, to be honest. It's all about your mindset and perspective, what you value, and what you pay attention to. Listen in for some relatable words about feeling insecure even if people call you beautiful...and how to have real confidence.

I invited my mom on the show! This cute (and brutally honest) conversation with my mom showed me how much we sound alike and the generational wisdom I'm lucky enough to have - and share with you! In this episode we talk about parenting, a man's relationship with his mother, and navigating the changes of life and family with grace.

I don't always have guests, but when I do, I prefer speaking with women like Tanner Hobbs. Do you know the difference between the "brand" of Jesus and having a real relationship with him? Oooof. Tanner brought the heat with this interview and didn't shy away from sharing her very relatable story of coming back to faith. If you've felt alone in your walk with God, in your journey of understanding what it even means to be Christian, this is the episode for you!

Do you have a fear of rejection? Are you playing small and not pursuing the life you really want because you know your family will hate it? Especially as a Christian, lots of people aren't going to like you or agree with what you believe. You're gonna have to outgrow the evolutionary trait that tells us we must "fit in" socially...at all costs. Because in our current economic environment, you're going to be totally fine if you uproot and leave behind the small minded people who make fun of your dreams (I did it - more than once, and I'm still here!)

How do you get closure? By realizing not everything is about you, babe. So much of what we stress about is a result of a self-centered worldview. Listen to this episode to learn how to create closure for yourself around anything from a friendship to a breakup or job interview that didn't go "your way" (see? again, self-centered) Tap in to listen now, you won't regret it.

Is your whole world wrapped up in romance? Yikes. That's dangerous for your heart. We are designed to flourish within a community. That means deep friendships...even if you're married, sis. For my fellow single ladies, too, an over focus on dating or progressing in a romantic relationship can trick you into being with someone who is not right for you. That's the most lonely feeling in the world! Trust me, I've been there. So this episode is encouraging every woman (single, married, or otherwise) to build your life outside of a romantic relationship. Make sure you are in good, solid community so when life hits you with a wave of unexpected trials, you have a village there to catch you.

Some people, no matter what you decide to do, won't support you. When you're starting on a healthy path, unhealthy people can't help but feel threatened by your growth and courage. Your steps make them feel insecure about their lack of progress. This is not up to you to fix or make them feel comfortable. Your growth is your business. When you're growing, you will soon see who is truly supporting you and who is just accepting the parts of you that are like them.

Girl, don't let anyone convince you that a massage, pedicure, or reflexology is a "once a year treat" - nope. I used to feel self conscious getting my body "serviced" by people. I would feel guilty, like I shouldn't be doing it. Or I would hope they didn't notice parts of my body I was insecure about at the time. This made what was supposed to be a stress-free experience...stressFULL lol. Don't let this happen to you! Listen to this episode for examples and inspiration on why investing in professional care for your body is an honorable way to care for yourself, especially as a single woman with no man around to rub your feet, girl.

But for real, dating as a Christian can feel like when the Israelites were in the desert for 40 years. Lots of complaining, messing up, and the thirst gets real. Here's an episode of the podcast to bring some practical advice and encouragement when you're single and dating. Remember that every man in the church is your brother before he is your husband. He's your brother in Christ who has desires of his heart and is being transformed by God right there with you. Give grace and stay humble, but don't get it twisted - you deserve a dynamite amazing spouse...if that's what God is calling you to. P.S. you can be single and not looking to date, it's 100% okay to not be pursuing marriage as a Christian woman. THAT IS OKAY. You are not a second class Christian if you're single, ask Paul to back me on that one.

Dating is crazy, but does it have to be? Maybe not. If you're a single Christian woman looking to date, you really should only be going on a few dates here and there. Don't make it your main focus or priority. Godly men will come to you, and if they don't - they need to work on their leadership ability. Op. Here's my advice if you're trying to attract a Christian man on a dating app. This advice has been PROVEN to work. I got a DM from someone who made a dating profile from listening to this episode, and met the man who would become her husband. BOOM. You're welcome, everyone.

Woah! let's talk about it. Everyone is sexually impure, so let's start there. It's completely possible for you to be a confident, single Christian woman and not be a virgin. There's so much shame and guilt that creeps into body image issues from that church doing an inadequate job of talking about purity. Purity has purposes beyond just "not getting pregnant". If you grew up in church, please listen to this episode to get a genuine perspective on the benefits of purity without the shame and distain normally put on women who've had sex before. If you're not a virgin, you're welcome here, babe. Join the club. Purity is a lifelong practice that doesn't end when you're married.

If the relationship you have with your earthly father is strained or non-existent, your perspective on God as a father is most likely suffering as a result. In this episode, we take a dive into what it really looks like to have a perfect, heavenly father and explore this component of your faith.

God works in crazy ways and my life is no different. My journey of faith hasn't been smooth, in the 100th episode of this podcast I'm sharing ways God worked in my life to bring me back into His will for me. This will always be a journey, but this is where I'm at in this current season.

Vulnerability builds confidence. If you want to build your confidence, stretching your love languages and showing love in super practical ways is a great way to get started. First, because it's kinda awkward and makes you vulnerable. Second, because you're not focused on YOU so much. You're focusing on other people and what they need. When you do this, you're more likely to appear confident because you're not so worried what people think of you...you're focused on them. Listen to hear a story about how I anticipated needs of my friends and made serving each other contagious.

Who is on your life team? Go read the book Safe People by Henry Cloud & John Townsend, then get back to me. This episode is essentially a master class in discernment, emotional vulnerability, and picking the right people for your life. Relationships influence everything, you might not notice it right away, but over time you will see how the people you surround yourself with impact what you value and how you live. Listen in to this episode for a download on discernment, wisdom, and why it's so darn important.

I see a lot of advice around "how to get anything you want" but in my experience, I don't want to get anything I want. Sometimes I've wanted really bad things. Instead, in this episode I'm giving you "how to get what you need" by changing this slightly. It is Biblical to ask for things, absolutely. Asking for things means you have the confidence to speak up, but the humility to be wrong about it. Listen to this episode for encouragement about speaking up for yourself, pursuing a life you desire, but trusting in the safety God provides by closing doors.

How do you reply when someone is mean? What's the confident way to handle rude comments? If you have a question please email hello@rebekahbuege.com and I'll respond in an episode. When you have an encounter with someone rude or intentionally nasty, there's a few ways to emotionally protect yourself while still responding to the situation. Listen to this episode to hear how I handle these scenarios with grace...because I used to have a rude, nasty side of me that came from insecurity. It wasn't cute, guys! Thankfully, that's been mostly worked out of me, but I still have moments where I really want to give people truth without love.

The idea that we ever "finish" or "arrive" is a lie to make you unsatisfied with where you are right now. Eternity is set in the hearts of man. We always long for more, different, or better. In this episode, we're thinking about that moving goal post of "success" and how to find peace as a living work-in-progress.

Do you apologize for everything? Are you constantly saying you're sorry? Or on the flip side, do you avoid taking any kind of responsibility for hurting others? These are all insecure responses to when things go wrong in life. Say it with me, balance! You gotta find the balance in your apology life. Confident people should be quick to show empathy, discerning about what they take responsibility for, and humble in their apologies for wrongdoing. However, somehow we got it all twisted up and are apologizing for things just to "make the problems go away" but actually are taking blame we don't need. Listen for the full context!

Did the church make you feel like having sex outside marriage makes you less valuable as a woman? Yikes. I bet it did, cause same! Guess what? Thankfully, that's not true. Your worth as a woman does not depreciate by the number of men you've slept with. It also does not appreciate by only having intercourse with your husband. Ope. Sorry. Not according to God. Is purity important to God? of course. But impurity comes in 10,000 different flavors and sex outside marriage is just one of them. There's a lot of work to do to remove sexism from the message of purity within churches. I'm here for the women who feel shame and unworthiness around their sexual past. The good part of being human is we all miss the mark and God renews us. Girl, none of us are pure on our own. Listen to this episode for the full context!

Has someone called your jealousy a sign of insecurity? This is a tricky topic because it's misunderstood. You're allowed to feel jealous when someone is being unfaithful to you in friendship, business, or a romantic relationship. God has this trait, He is jealous when we worship things other than Him. This is not a flaw in God (blasphemy?) so it is not a flaw in us. Listen for the full context for this episode about having healthy expectations and standards for your relationships- and why you jealousy isn't a universal trait of insecurity.

Time doesn't heal all wounds. This listener is searching for the courage to cut her hair even though her ex boyfriend told her she never should. If you have a question, email me at hello@rebekahbuege.com and I'll answer in an episode. Letting these limits control your life, even if they seem harmless, shrink your confidence and make you doubt yourself. In this episode, I cover how to work through actually healing from damage past relationships have done to your body image and confidence. P.S. she ended up cutting her hair and loving it! yay!

Do you feel like your beauty is only worth something if someone else sees it? Specifically, if you can use it to get attention from a guy? Yikes. I have been there, though. Beauty is valuable without anyone else seeing it. Your beauty does not need to be a tool to influence or manipulate other people into giving you attention. The relationship I used to have with my own beauty and confidence was definitely not being used to glorify God, but I'm really trying to figure out what the purpose is for me on this planet and it's been a bumpy ride. Listen to the episode for the full context!

You are called to care for your body. Loving your body starts with knowing the definition of love. We have a perfect definition in scripture and it's the best way to get started fixing the relationship you have with your body. I used to hate my body and wish I could switch places with someone else. Go to www.thebodyimagesolution.com/program to get the course on how I changed this relationship with my body. To start, listen to this episode for the full context on what it looks like to really be a good steward of your body.

What does it mean to submit to your husband? Yikes. The church talks about this one a lot, but you know what they don't focus on? The character husbands need to have in order to be worthy of submission. The Proverbs 31 woman seems to be married to one heck of a man, and not every guy who shows up to church on Sundays is worthy of that type of wife. This idea of wives submitting to husbands has caused so much abuse and pain within marriages and "Christian" community. It's used to further sexism and toxic masculinity. It's turning many people away from God and rightfully so. I wouldn't want to follow a God who forced me to get married and become, essentially, a slave to my husband. Thankfully, that's not in scripture...but you sometimes get that vibe when you're around "Christian" circles. Listen to the full episode to hear my perspective on how a confident woman goes about selecting a husband who's safe to submit to. Also, read Wild at Heart and Captivating for further insight and study.

Ever wonder what a "good Christian woman" looks like? You probably have the image of a quiet wife, loving mother, and Pinterest perfect family pictures every Christmas. There are so many more ways God is able to use you besides casting you in the role of "wife" and "mother". You can be used by God use as you are and I'm talking with Stefanie Gass about pursuing a purpose for your life that God places on your heart, whatever that may look like.