Convergently Speaking

Local friend and colleague Addie Michlitsch joins us to share about her work as a trauma therapist. We discuss how trauma is stored in the body and some of the ways that she brings people through the process of resolving this. We also discuss codependency and boundaries.

Overall, Addie shares her amazing grounding energy and a beautiful vision of what life can be like beyond our triggers and coping mechanisms.

Jumping off from last week's episode about positive vs. negative sentiment in relationships, today Dan shares some practical ways that you can increase the positivity between you and your partner.

In this episode Dan discusses how negative feelings in your relationship can pile up and create their own momentum, so that it colors every interaction you have.

He also shares how to get out of this pattern and why it's not as hard as you think!

Enjoy the last episode in this series - the differences between Judgers and Perceivers. 

We'll be back with a new episode next week!

In  the 3rd episode of this series on relationships and personality, Dan  discusses the difference between thinkers and feelers.  Do thinkers still have feelings underneath all that cold, hard logic?  (yes!) Can we ever get on the same page?  Listen to understand where your partner may be coming from and how they  see the world, and you'll begin to speak the same language and  appreciate what each other is bringing to the table.  

This second episode in the series about personality and relationships,  Dan discusses the differences between Sensors and Intuitives.  Understanding this difference between people can make a huge impact on  how we relate to each other, maybe more than any of the other 3  dichotomies of the Myers-Briggs system. Sensors and Intuitives see and experience the world in very different ways and yet these polar opposites can be complementary making for a great partnership dynamic.

We're taking a break from podcasting for the month of January, but we won't leave you hanging! 

In case you missed it, here is a re-release of our series on Myers-Briggs and relationships. This week, Introverts and Extroverts - how this difference plays out for couples and how to manage some of the struggles that come along with it. 

We are SO excited to bring this episode to you.

Happy New Year and enjoy this re-release as we work on a big episode for next week! 

This episode is part 2 to last week's about the Dreaded Drama Triangle. 

Learn how you can flip the script on the vortex that is the Drama Triangle, and change your mindset into a more empowered one. 

You may be in a situation in your relationship that you feel completely powerless over. You don't like how your life is going, but you don't know how you could possibly change things. You are tired of the status-quo, and feel like if your partner could change, then things would be better. 

But what if you have more power than you think? What if changing yourself or the way you interact with the dynamic would have a bigger impact on things that you even realise? 

Listen to Dan and Caitlin discuss how the system of a relationship can be changed and share some examples from their own experience of big shifts they have experienced from small actions. 

Intro to our new ongoing series where we will be interviewing couples about how understanding personality types has impacted their relationships. 

Dan and Caitlin discuss some examples of how personality types have massively helped their relationships and those of clients. 

Dan talks about a concept he uses in his practice, which was coined by Terry Real as "Bad Deals". This is when a couple gets into a pattern or unspoken agreement that really doesn't work for either of them, but they just keep continuing their side of the "bargain" because they are just stuck and aren't aware of another way of operating. 

Dan also shares how he works with couples who are in this situation to break out of these cycles and come up with better ways of operating. 

Caitlin has her little sister, Heidi, in for a chat about the Enneagram. Heidi is a certified Enneagram Coach and takes us through an overview of what the Enneagram is and a brief rundown of all the numbers.

She also shares how she uses the Enneagram as a coach and how it has made a huge difference in the ways that she approaches her life and relationships. 

It was so fun to witness her impressive understanding of the system and hear about all she has going on!

Dan and Caitlin share a huge change they've undertaken as a family. They've recently moved from Adelaide, Australia to live in Caitlin's hometown in Minnesota, USA.  You'll hear a bit about the reason for this big move and also plans for Dan's practice going forward.  

Dan is an INFJ and Caitlin is an ISFJ in the Myers-Briggs system, and anyone who knows a little bit about IxxJ's knows that they are not very good with change. The couple discusses how their individual personalities played out under the pressure of a big move, how their similarities were helpful in having an understanding of the other person's experience but also how those similarities meant some blind spots that made it more challenging. Dan, as an INFJ, leads with the cognitive function "Introverted Intuition" (Ni) and Caitlin leads with "Introverted Sensing" (Si). These 2 functions relate to time and stress very differently and you will hear specifically how that played out in this situation. 

We're back! We've been quiet on here, for reasons we'll explain in the next episode. But we're back with this chat about what it means to be curious in life and especially in relationships. Are you more likely to get stuck in your own perspective or are you able to keep an open frame of mind? How can we change these impulses to embrace curiosity? 

To round out our series on the Gottman Method, we have an interview with Psychologist Steve Wiese who has been working with couples and singles for over 30 years and using the Gottman Method for nearly 20. 

Steve talks about the research-based tools that he uses with couples - things to build their fondness and admiration for each other, how to maximise the dreams and priorities of both people and how to assess if a couple is on a disastrous path or if things can be turned around for them. 

One tool in particular, the Caring Behaviours exercise, is a favourite and Dan has also found it very helpful with the couples he works with. 

Enjoy the episode!

Steve can be found at: https://www.stevenwiese.com/

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This is the final episode of our 4-part series on the Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. 

We outline what stonewalling is, and why it happens. We talk about why someone who is stonewalling and appears calm is actually anything but calm. And we give you some excellent ways to remedy the situation if you are finding this an issue with your partner. 

Look out next episode for a bonus discussion about the Four Horsemen with Steve Wiese - a Psychologist who has been working with this material for many years (and who happens to be Caitlin's dad).

Dan Anear is a relationship counsellor and Personality Hacker certified Myers-Briggs coach who works with individuals and couples through periods of change and stress, supporting them to transform their pain into growth.

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Naomi Harrington (fellow INFJ) joins Dan all the way from Hawaii for a chat about being Highly Sensitive and an Empath, and how this shows up for her in her work, marriage and parenting. You'll really enjoy all that she has to say, especially if you are someone who finds lots of sensory input overwhelming, or who absorbs and processes the emotions of others. She shares about how she and her husband have navigated their differing personalities and held space for each other to thrive. Enjoy! 

For this 40th episode Caitlin joins Dan to discuss the biggest personality difference a couple can have in the myers-briggs personality system and understanding this difference as a gift rather than a curse.

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Dan has an incredibly interesting chat with Samantha Mackay who is a fellow Typology-Lover and Personality Hacker Profiling graduate. Samantha is a former Lawyer, current Trainer and Coach who uses personality frameworks to work with people. 

Dan and Samantha chat typology and health - Samantha shares her journey with chronic illness and the work she has done to heal and integrate all parts of herself. She also talks about emotions, grief, our relationships with our bodies and lots more.

You'll really enjoy this episode!!

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In this solo episode, Dan talks about the root of many misunderstandings in relationships and friendships and what we can do about it.  He shares some insights on how we can gain more understanding and empathy for the people around us, rather than getting frustrated and annoyed at our differences. 

Find Dan: 

Instagram: @convergentlyspeaking  

@danielanearcounsellingcoaching 

Facebook: @convergentlyspeaking 

@danielanearcounsellingcoaching 

Here we have for you a huge guest and a great chat! 

Dario Nardi, Ph.D. is a world renowned author,  researcher, speaker and expert in neuroscience, personality, and body-mind practices. He holds a Senior Lecturer position at University  of California (Los Angeles), where he won UCLA's Copenhaver Award for  Innovative Use of Technology in 2005 and UCLA's Distinguished Teacher of  the year in 2011. His books include Neuroscience of Personality, 8 Keys to Self-Leadership, Jung on Yoga, and Facets of Ayahuasca,  among other titles. We writes game books and fiction. And he is the  creator of the Personality Types iPhone app. Since 2006, Dario has  focused on conducting hands-on brain research, utilizing insights of  real-time EEG technology. Applications extend to coaching, counseling,  education, games, healthcare, leadership development, yoga, and many  other areas. He regularly keynotes international conferences and  facilitates workshops, teaching professionals about the art and science  of the brain. Dario is currently based in Los Angeles, USA and Oslo,  Norway. Dan and Dario cover many topics around personality, growth, shamanism..... and so much more. This is a prime example of a thoughtful conversation between two Intuitives. Hope you have enjoyed both parts of this epic chat. 

Dan digs into some more of the technical parts of the Myers-Briggs System and how the different parts of a person's personality interact. He talks about the upsides and downsides of "specialising" in our strengths, and how this can play out in our lives. 

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Life brings us pain, unfortunately there's no way around that. It is certainly not easy, but when we have particularly painful times, we have the opportunity to harness and use that pain to learn and grow and transform. We may just find ourselves coming out the other end with purpose, all the stronger for finding meaning and healing amongst the pain.

Dan share's some simple but profound quotes that he has gotten a lot out of while doing the work of healing and transforming his own pain to purpose. 

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Enjoy this beautiful conversation with Jamie Ryan, who is a social worker, counsellor and educator with over 25 years experience in the Mental Health field. 

He and Dan talk about the ways that the mental health sector is transforming to put people's experiences more in the centre and how Peer Work is part of this transition. Jamie shares about some of his own experiences, which we are honoured to hear. The two also talk about what people's mental health will look like post - COVID, and how we move forward to grow as society. 

Enjoy the episode!

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Dan discusses what can happen when one partner in a relationship begins to get into self development, heal past traumas or question their beliefs. How do you manage these changes and how they affect your relationship? How do you best communicate about what you're learning and what's going on? Is the relationship doomed? 

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Solo episode from Dan, talking about how to deal with our human tendency to immediately reject and therefore not listen to ideas that are contrary to our own beliefs or are from the other side of a particular issue. What is the antidote to this seemingly inbuilt wiring? How can we teach ourselves to listen better and more fully? 

Listen for more!

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Interview with Neville Starick, who shares some of his story as a third culture kid and a life of international travel. 

Neville is a counsellor who specifically looks at the role of change in people's lives, and how they can move through the grief that change brings with it. He shares some beautiful insights and stories, as well as some bonus Enneagram content! (Neville is an Enneagram 4). Have a listen, you'll love it. 

The Enneagram is pretty ubiquitous in culture at the moment, everyone is talking about it and everyone wants to tell you your number. 

Dan talks about the Enneagram, which he's been studying for over a decade, how he's found it helpful and transformative in his life, and some insights on how to journey with it as a tool for personal development. 

Stay tuned for more Enneagram content in the future! 

Find Dan:

hello@danielanear.com

Rohan Harry - comedian, podcaster, and friend from way back - joins the podcast to share his story of overcoming some incredible health issues. It's an inspiring, funny, and at times heartbreaking interview, you're sure to enjoy it!  Dan and Rohan talk personality (Rohan is a classic INFP), motivation, the trickster archetype.... and much more. 

The fourth and final episode in our series about personality and intimate relationships. 

The Judger/Perceiver split can be a tricky one to navigate, but with a little understanding, a J/P couple can really thrive as they appreciate and grow from the other's way of doing things. And what if you're both the same type? Dan talks about that too! Something for everyone. 

Enjoy the episode and hop over to social media to tell us what you thought about it!

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This second episode in the series about personality and relationships, Dan discusses the differences between Sensors and Intuitives. Understanding this difference between people can make a huge impact on how we relate to each other, maybe more than any of the other 3 dichotomies of the Myers-Briggs system. Sensors and Intuitives see and experience the world in very different ways and yet these polar opposites can be complementary making for a great partnership dynamic.

Find Dan: