By Curtis Charles
Cool ParentsJun 07, 2023
Groff the Chain is back, along with a surprising update on Nick Groff's exit from Ghost Adventures! In other news: Pervert Proverbs.
We solved the mystery of the Mummy Nun. We also have a special visitor, a Time Witch, to tell us about out moons. Just listen, it'll make sense. Maybe...
Rippin' Butts With Scooby
Justy Boy has an amazing poem loosely based on his childhood in Revere, MA. We also talk about Alan Jackson's daddy and the lyrics for his silly country tune "Drive (For Daddy Gene)" and then we have another installment of the fan favorite segment Making a Muscle Boy!
By Noodles, It's Chip Glitz & Tip Glamour!
Googie Reviewbies is here to rock your world before getting into The Book of 2 Chainz ("100 Joints"), but most importantly, we ask the question... would you eat a Gumby?
H4KM4N (Working Class Bimbos)
You want some new Tough Guy Poetry? How about a Truckdate? Tindergarten Cops, you say? Sure! Just hit play, you freak.
A Huge Eureka
Hey look, another 69th episode and it's hornier than ever! We have some peepee-related news articles to discuss, a round of Pervert Proverbs of course, and what may be the greatest AI-generated story of all time. It's called Whistleblowers and it stars Jesse "The Body" Ventura and a bunch of sexy Illuminati reptoids. Enjoy!
Julia Stiles Was Not In The Mask
Chatbot Poetry (featuring ChatGPT), Butterman, and Clickbait Headlines are all here to grace your ears.
To Suck A Thug
It was hard not to call this episode "Baby 2: Pig City," but I felt "To Suck A Thug" may be more fitting because this episode revolves heavily around the hit song My Neck, My Back by Khia. We also dissect the lyrics(?) of Junkie Man by Rancid. Spelling Bee and Missed Connections (Canadian Edition) are also featured!
Action Bronson Eats That Meatball
We have a great idea for a new show on Vice. It involves Action Bronson putting his life in danger in order to eat every meatball. We also have a nice selection of Googie Reviewbies!
Thanks for listening!
Treat Me Like A Steak
We have a bucket of Pervert Proverbs and some prank calls! Now enjoy this list of alternate episode titles we considered:Him Yum Wee Mama Tig is Back on YouTube Hard Tit Froggy Style Normalize Crap Mouth The Early Worm Gets the Bug
Chatbot Poetry and Tindergarten Cops are back with a vengeance! Please enjoy responsibly.
The Myth Of The Male Mons Pubis
Justy Boy is taking us back to school and sharing some childhood relics. Also, Brain War!
Voodoo Twins (Ying Yang Twins x Godsmack x KoЯn x Disturbed) Mashup
I realized the mashup from our latest episode was oddly compressed, so here it is in all its hi-fi glory! Fingers crossed it doesn't get taken down...
Curtis is back from Costa Rica and he's talkin' about the mysterious "squish lizard" a little bit. He also has a musical mash-up you will not want to miss...
"The Condemned" Listen-Along Commentary
We'll be back next week for a brand new episode.
Today, we're talking about several Updates, Curtis kind of introduces a "new" segment called Why Come? and challenges Justy Boy to a new guessing game involving isolated vocal noises. Then, we close it out with a round of I Love This Business.
Thanks for listening!
Murderfied: An Dungeon Mystery At 10,000 Feets
Hello! We've finally figured out what the heck Davey Havok is saying in AFI's "Dancing Through Sunday." Justy Boy also brought some Missed Connections, Curtis chopped n' screwed that "Bugle Boogie Boy Bee" song, and we educate ourselves on Gen Z slang. Thanks for listening!
Ya'll asked for it, so Spelling Bee is back! We also have a new installment of The Book of 2 Chainz, a Mumpdate (mummy update), our review of an old Kerrang interview with Jonathan Davis of KoЯn, and much more. Believe me, this one's a true banger. Thanks for listening!
Gideon Yago: The Cumshot King Of Amsterdam
This one's got ropes! It's got Pervert Proverbs! It's got Alfred Hitchcock! Oh, and the effects of medicine withdrawals... Enjoy!
It's More Than A Truck, It's A Friend Of Mine
It's a new dawn for computer creatures (artificial intelligence) and we're more than prepared to exploit this creepy new tech for the sake of absurd comedy. We're doing exactly that on this episode. We have A.I.-generated song lyrics in a new segment called Chatbot Poetry and very glitchy (meaning extra funny) text-to-speech voice models from Uberduck.
Additionally, we have a new installment of Googie Reviewbies and Curtis predicts a new aesthetic movement: Covidcore.
If you like our show and want to show your support as well as gain access to hours and hours of bonus content, sign up for our Patreon for only $3!
Those Who No Longer Do
I hope you like sound effects! We've got a lot of 'em. We also have a brand new POME from Justy Boy, some shrimp news, prank calls, and a new trivia segment: Crash Course!!!! There's other stuff in there too, soooooo...
Throatorcycle Nightmare Freak
Mr. Robert Zombie has some words for you. We can't really tell what those words are, but we can certainly give our best guess! It's also time to review some of the most searched terms on PornHub in 2022 and some strange banned hashtags on Instagram.
Pincer (2000, dir. David Fincher)
Do you remember the classic David Fincher film Pincer from 2000 starring Morgan Freeman as a detective uncovering a mystery involving a surreptitious invasion of Earth by a race of shrimp-lobster-alien's and their human hybrid offspring? What a picture!
Strap in for a rottin' tootin' mud truckin' good time as we discuss what a good ol' boy's truck says about him.
Thanks for listening!
Oh My Foot
We answer the internet's burning questions, then Governor/Fighter/Frogman Jesse Ventura is back and he's prepared to exchange blows with Donald Trump. And speaking of Trump, we've got a nasty batch of Pervert Proverbs, too!
Thanks for listening!
Soaked In Milk & Victorious
Making a Muscle Boy is back with a vengeance! We also have a brand new segment called The People in the Comments and so much more.
BBL: Big Beautiful Lip
We finally took down the Liver King. Yeah, that was us. You're welcome!
"Prioritize. Execute. Do." - Nostradingus
Blonde Ass At The Bust Stop
Googie Reviewbies is back with a vengeance and it's brought Missed Connections with it! Don't miss this absolute unit, listen now!
Thanks for listening!
Brother Luke's Penis Root
Today's main event is a new segment we're calling Slamazon! We also tried one called Gucci Bane, but the results were mixed... but in a good way? Listen and tell us what you think!
Thanks for listening!
Duplicate My Groove
The Book of 2 Chainz is back, but before that, Justy Boy presents a new Jabroni Jamboree. Oh, and we close the episode with I Love This Business!
Scratch My Disk Up
This one's gonna make you squirt. Simple as that. It's an instant classic. We got Pervert Proverbs, we got Buttermans, and we got a new segment called Brain War! What else do you people need?!
Support the show and get super sick bonus content on Patreon:
Releasing The Insect
This one's getting real spooky and real sexxxy, so put your stupid kids to bed. Olivia is here to share her nasty cryptid fanfiction and we guarantee there won't be a dry panty in the room. We're also chatting with some local ghosts via spirit box, among other Ghostober endeavors. Enjoy responsibly!
If you like the show, support us on Patreon where you can watch House of the Dead with our commentary starting at only $3!
Put A Boob On It!
Happy heckoween! In this special treat we're joined by the one and only BWETTTTTTT to watch Uwe Boll's House of the Dead (2003).
Video version (for Patrons only): HERE!
The Grotus Tapes
This episode is more fun than a "barrel full of supernatural," as Nick Groff would say. That's right, Groff the Chain is back with a vengeance! We also talk politics (uh-oh), have a Spooky Bee, and Justy Boy reads a new Ghostober POME. Enjoy!
Thanks for listening! Follow us and support the show below:
Muck Mummy Bison
You ready for more spookies? You better be! We're talkin' Frankensteins, skeletons, Draculas, and mad scientists! Oh, and don't forget the TikTok time traveler. Did you know humanity is effed? Listen for more details!
Febus & His Fluff Knife Go To Nom Nom City
Don't miss this Ghostober episode, it's really good. We met a demon named Febus, what else do you need to know? We sifted through some backwards music to hunt for secret Satans and also had an A.I. write us a spooky story for a robot to read to us. Like I said, this one's really good.
Thanks for listening!
The Leprechaun's Liquid
And so begins the Ghostober festivities, sooooo...
We got Are You Afraid of the Dark? commentary, spooky Rope Hero, and spooky Spelling Bee. Bring a change of paaaantyyyy...
Thanks for listening!
Thanks for listening! Support us on Patreon pretty please!
Spooky Reviewbies are here! We also have another edition of It Really Makes You Think... and then we pick apart a Rusted Roots song. WTF he sayin????
Thanks for listening!
You're gonna hear from some real ghosts in this episode, so be ready... Other topics include: pumpkin bote (sic), pope dubauchery (sic), robot catfish bios, and a round of I Love This Business.
Thanks so much for listening! Please leave us a rating and review and sign up for our Patreon via the link below:
Mummified Slug Nest
We're back! We're answering some of life's deepest philosophical questions in a new segment called It Really Makes You Think... Plus, we start our preparations for Ghostober 2022 and then two failed Buttermans lead to some new discoveries in songs from both KoRn and Shaggy!
Thanks for listening, don't forget to leave reviews everywhere you can!
Varsity Blues Commentary [Patreon Preview]
"WE GON BEAT BING BONG!"
This commentary track for Varsity Blues was recorded for our Patreon, but here it is as a sneak peek in case you're not a Patron. Now you'll know what you're missing! Get access to all our other commentaries and a whole lot more at:
Thanks for listening!
Dripping Wet Freakery on the River of Load
Guess who's back
Hoss is back
Tell a friend
Thanks for listening to our show! If you like it, please leave a rating and a review. Also, check out our Patreon and social media accounts at the link below:
Sorry ladies, this one's for the boys! Wait, no, I'm kidding, please still listen. Today we're making fun of country music, specifically songs considered to be "manly," whatever the heck that means.
Listen, the title says it all. We've got Pervert Proverbs, our re-worked version of "Supercharger Heaven," and some isolated vocal tracks!
Thanks for listening!
Remixing the Chicken Dance
There's a yogi on the internet who's obsessed with his own cumshot. Not sure what else you need to know... Oh, Tindergarten Cops returns. So there's that too. Thanks for listening!
Honk Yonder Speaks Snake
Did you know that God can speak through humans? He just doesn't use English, or any other earthly tongue. Don't know why. Maybe you can decipher some of his messages. Listen and let us know! You'll also hear some Missed Connections and some more Jesse Ventura interview gems!
Hawk Tuscon in the Age of the Robot Soldiers
Justy Boy prophesizes the future of Humankind. Then we discuss our findings in our ongoing "Super Charger Heaven" experiment (now titled Slob Zombie), followed by some superb Googie Reviewbies!
Thanks for listening and if you enjoy it, be sure to support us on Patreon. Smack this link!
Oregano Mega Cheeseball Man
You don't want to miss this one, folks! Here are just a few things to look forward to in this extra thicc episode (in no particular order):Tim Burton's Todd Fungus Bigfoot Update Filthy Fan Fiction (Mostly) Metalcore Buttermans Oregano Mega Meatball Man Oregano Mega Cheeseball Man Extra Large Pervert Proverbs Muuuuch more!
Thanks for listening, don't forget to rate and review! Also, smash this link to follow us on social media and support the show on Patreon!
Justy Boy got his hands on some letters written to his sister from Korean teenage English students and they are truly interesting. And back by popular demand is part 2 of the infamous Jesse Ventura hypercut podcast interview. We also talk alien hair, Kate Nash, and FOOTBALL!
Thanks so much for listening! Don't forget to support the podcast below:
She-Thang in the Flesh World
Big Puddle of Pre-Peoples
We have a highlight reel of Jesse "The Body" Ventura talking about basically nothing yet saying so much. It's hilarious. Also, we have some yearbook bios to review and some very captivating news stories to talk about. They may or may not contain piss. Thanks for listening!
We have ourselves a two person roundtable to discuss the flag. The flag. The only flag. We also have some Googie Reviewbies (working title) and a real nice round of I Love This Business! In addition, we have a world premiere cover of Bruce Springsteen's "I'm on Fire" for you. Thanks for listening!
Support our show, would ya? Thank you!
Have a Good Organism (Because Vagina)
Curtis got COVID, so this episode was recorded remotely. Don't let that scare ya though, Justy Boy has an excellent forty dollar gaming headset... We've got a bunch of top-notch Pervert Proverbs for you in addition to a very mysterious Truckdate! G'head, listen!
Jazz II: Shrink Wrap That Rat
Jazz comedy is a type of improv we invented very early on in the life of this podcast. It's when our goofs cannot be constrained to the standards set by the mainstream, just like jazz music but dumb. This episode gets wacky, but we do have some topics: "Ghost Adventures House Calls," Listener Questions, "Bubble Boy," and more!
Clifestyles of the Rich & Famous
Our special guest Charlie (AKA Chuck Finn) tells us all about the "Angelic Initiative," a weird af yoga/energy-healing show on YouTube, as well as Lil' Lunchbox, a clown lady from hell. Then, Justy Boy shares an exciting new development in our quest for ghost: "Paranormal Destination." Don't miss this one!
That's Verb, My Guy
We took the liberty of isolating some more vocal tracks from an assortment of songs. Curtis even did some choppin' and screwin' of those vocals to a very satisfying end. You'll love what you hear! Also, we've got a "Cryptid" Update and some fantastic Pervert Proverbs.
Thanks for listening!
The Room of the Toilet
The Cool Parents Travel Agency has you covered! We're visiting some businesses, calling some others, and creating our own in I Love This Business! Also, did you know seagulls are space aliens?
TRAVIS POP IS A THIEF & A SCUMBAG!!!
Hey there, slimes! You wanna hear about some real cool kids in a 2006 high school yearbook? We got that! You wanna hear about some missed connections and "activities" on CraigsList? Well stop reading this and press play, you PERVERT.
Montana Silversmith's Big Danzig Belt Buckle
You got another top-quality episode on your hands today, folks! We have a couple Buttermans and Umpdates runnin' wiiiiild, then we listen to some incredible isolated vocal tracks from Rancid, Boxcar Racer, Disturbed, and Tom Waits. All that topped off with a Tough Guy Poetry from Soulfly!
Thanks for listening, don't forget to support us pleeease!
We've got a new segment to take for a spin called Round Trip Translations and an oldie but goodie, Tindergarten Cops! Give it a listen and tell your friends!
Love, Butt, & Gunfire
We brought our A game to this one, folks, so strap in! Or strap on, because we've got Pervert Proverbs. We also answer your burning questions about all kinds of stuff upon which we are the authority.
Thanks for listening, and be sure to join our Patreon to show your support and get bonus goofs!
Have You Read These Documents?
Google reviews are back! We also discuss the lyrics of a song called "On the River" by Young Dolph.
Thanks for Listening!
Justy Boy has a new segment! It's called Pomp Quiz. We also have some high school yearbook photos to review.
Thanks for listening!
Are you up for something new? You'd better be, cuz we got a couple two tree new segments runnin' wild! Cowpoke Poetry, Hoss Fooey (AKA Horse Code), and Message Board Confessional all make their debuts alongside a new installment of Spelling Bee. Enjoy!
If you like the show, please support us on Patreon and get free goodies!
The Ancestral Rudder
This just in: THE LIVER KING EATS CHILDREN. We got the proof. We also got some top-notch Pervert Proverbs and a Butter Man for you, so g'head and listen, would ya?!
Thanks for listening and please support the show on Patreon!
Nick Groff's Ghost-Sucking Kirby Vacuum
Thanks for listening, and please support us on Patreon for more very nice goofs:
We're talkin' about some obscure Wikipedia articles dug up by @depthsofwikipedia on Instagram, a Tough Guy Poetry from Five Foot Thick, and another installment of Tindergarten Cops!
Support us on Patreon, sheepeople!
Thanks for listening!
Bring Me the Lingam of Julio Gomez
A Pervert Proverb for the ages! We also cover the lyrics of "Stuntin' Like my Daddy" by Little Wayne and Birdman. The main event: a sexxxy Jurassic Park fanfiction written almost entirely by an A.I.
Enjoy! Don't forget to share and join our Patreon at:
Ridin' Pit with Bwort
We return to the confusing depths of high school senior yearbook photos and comb through the lyrics of Kid Rock's latest abortion, "We The People."
Thanks for listening, go ahead and support us on Patreon for extra bonus goofs and gags!
Satan's Seeing Walrus (Snake My Empty Bean)
Some Type of Sick
We also talk a little Meatloaf and play a Justy Boy original guessing game, Jabroni Jamboree!
Thanks for listening and if you like whatcha hear, please support the show on Patreon:
My Jaded Cells
Pervert Proverbs is back in its original form! Also, we have an exceptional new installment of Tough Guy Poetry. Please enjoy responsibly.
We're back with new business reviews from Google and another installment of The Book of 2 Chainz! Come on, GIT IT!
The Longest Testes in the Westes
Dana White? More like Dana Brown! Did you know MMA fighters love to shit all over themselves? It's true!
And did you know that the moon is full of yellow jelly and ruled by a moon king named Bibi Onini? That's also true, probably.
All that, Missed Connections, I Love This Business, and more on this hott hott episode.
Thanks for listening!
Pull Up, Suck Foot
Thanks for listening, love youuuu!
Cuth Cuthbertson, Wrangle Them Boys!
Welcome to the second season of the Cool Parents Podcast! New here? Don't worry, jump right in and we'll get you up to date in no time.
We've got a new segment for a new season in which we discuss user reviews of random small businesses across the country. We also take a look at PornHub's year-end search trends for 2021.
You'll also hear an old Christmas song we recorded years ago. It's about tugjobs and stuff!
Thanks for listening, and don't forget to subscribe to our Patreon if you dig our goofs!
200 - BEET GOD (Bluffington Season 3)
Beware the Order of the Beet!
Thanks so much for listening, everyone! We love you!
Bonus Episode: Bluffington Recap (Seasons 1 & 2)
Previously on Bluffington...
Best Prank Calls
Here are some of our favorite prank phone calls!
Best Goofs! (Ep. 146 - 199)
What a wild ride it's been, and we're just getting started, baby!
Here are some more fun goofs we did.
Thanks so much for listening!
Best Goofs! (Ep. 91 - 146)
What a wild ride it's been, and we're just getting started, baby!
Here are some fun goofs we did a long time ago.
Thanks so much for listening!
199 - Crumhorn Assjob
If you don't know what a crumhorn or an assjob is, you're not alone. Come along with us and learn as we parse OnlyFans category tags! We also play some Mad Libs and discuss Peter Popoff's "Miracle Spring Water." Thanks for listening!
198 - Hub Nut & the Electric Big Rig
This one's a banger! We got Tindergarten Cops, Tough Guy Poetry (a new pile of shit from Kid Rock), and a phone call to a new celebrity "guest." Check 'er out!
197 - Do She Scrump?
Well? Do she?
We've got some pretty incredible Pervert Proverbs for this one. We also take a look at the lyrics of "Like Me" by 2 Chainz in a brand new installment of The Book of 2 Chainz!
Hope you like it! Find more goodf and support our endeavors on out Patreon, pretty please, over at:
Thank you and god bless.
196 - The Flesh Tentacle
195 - Papa Rope
Thanks for listening! Support the show at:
194 - Amazon for Wizards
This episode contains irrefutable evidence of FOOT GHOST. We communicate with the other side via the Necrophonic app after talking wizards and Butter Mans.
Thanks so much for listening! Consider contributing to our Patreon pretty please:
193 - The Fresno Grinch Finger
You cannot squaredance in a circle. You also cannot listen to this spooky Ghostober episode (featuring special guest Olivia) without getting aroused by cryptozoological smut!
Thanks for listening! And please join our Patreon at:
192 - I Sing with my Whale
Ghostober is in full effect, so we've got a new Groff the Chain for you and an Are You Afraid of the Dark? episode commentary!
If you enjoy our show, consider contributing to our Patreon and get yourself some real cool extras:
191 - Devil Moves
Ghostober is here! We have to talk about the spookiest ghost of them all: the Holy Ghost. Oh, and also mummies, Draculas, etc.
Subscribe to our Patreon if you like our show, please! We've got bonuses for you and it's only $3!
Thanks for listening!
190 - A Hard Y7
Did you forget about Goof Dad?! Of course not... So you'll be happy to know we're finally fleshing out the TV movie event of the century!
Thanks for listening and don't forget to subscribe to our Patreon!
189 - Paul Thomas Cruiser
Can you believe we have more Truckdate? I mean, these things just keep coming out of the woodwork, usually towing a redwood on their big strong winch. But after the tucks have come in gone, we have a new installment of Tindergarten Cops and I Love This Business.
Thanks for listening! Join our Patreon for only $3 and get instant access to a whole bunch of bonus material. Plus, you'll be supporting our show, which is so cool of you!
188 - Pliss
I heard you freaks like Pervert Proverbs. Do? Listen, pliss! We also play some The Shame of Life card game and pick apart some terrible wrestle man theme song in a segment Justy Boy calls Beef Boy Broetry. Pliss enjoy!
187 - Plump Goddess
More news from the McFlurby front and it's... weird. Also, Curtis murders a truck (it deserved it) and Justy Boy brings the Missed Connections! Plus, Joe Rogan got COVID! lol
Word of the day: NIMROD. Thanks for listening!
Hey, you wanna check out our Patreon to support our show and get awesome bonus content? Then go ahead and do!
186 - "The Cactus & Sexy Lump Show" (feat. Pinky)
Guess who's back... It's Pinky! We've got games to play and trucks to discuss on this Double Stuf episode. I know it seems like it's too long but we assure you, this is the Snyder cut of podcasts. It's lengthy but you'll be okay with it because it rocks.
Thanks so much for listening and don't forget to support the show on Patreon!
185 - Cigarphagus
Thanks for listening! Mosey on over to our Patreon for bonus content and to help support our podcast:
184 - 100% Sticky (What the Horse Knows...)
Listen here pardners, we're crackin' some whips tonight, I'll tell you what. We also must discuss "PopoZão" by Kevin Federline ASAP. And what's up with those grape thieves behind Curtis' house? Any clues are greatly appreciated. Tip lines are opening soon.
Thanks for listening! If you enjoy our goofs, please do us a solid and get on our Patreon. You'll get bonus content, too!
183 - Jose Camacho's Premium Juice
Jose Canseco is on a roll this week with several head-scratchers on his Twitter feed. Also discussed are goats, Don Chena and The Suicide Squad, McFlurbies, skimboarding, and a couple new Butter Mans from BLACKPINK!
U liek podcast? Plz do a Patreon plz. You'll get bonus goofs!
Thank you for listening!
182 - The Maserati of Susans
We have some choice Missed Connections and Pervert Proverbs in this one! Some of the best. We also finish the segment on cowboy slang we started a few weeks ago. Enjoy, pardner.
Do you appreciate our work? If so, the best way to show it is over on our Patreon where you can also get bonus movie commentaries! Only $3!!!!
181 - Lump
We got Butter Man! We got Tindergarten Cops! We got the gas, baby!
Thanks for listening! Hop on over to our Patreon for bonus content and to support this podcast if you haven't already. You certainly will not regret it!
180 - My Alien Green
Join us as we discuss egg, among other things. We have another brilliant Android game description to decipher and another installment of I Love This Business!
Thanks for listening! If you like what we've made for you, join the VIPs supporting our endeavors over at our Patreon. You'll get bonus content!
179 - An Pegasus
Justy Boy's throat is all toe up, but he's gonna tough it out for you good folks. What a troopah!
We got some real yucky Pervert Proverbs for ya and also a Tough Guy Poetry by Static X and a couple new Butter Mans.
Thanks for listening and don't forget to hop on our Patreon and support the cause! You'll also get some hot bonus content:
178 - The Rotten Corpse of Mr. America
We've got some prime cowboy content in this one, folks! And also, some excellent Missed Connections.
Thanks for listening! If you like us, please support us on Patreon. You'll get bonus content and it's so cheap!
177 - Red-Hatted Gorilla Demon
Are you prepared to learn about how Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst copes with the guilt of creating a Frankenstein?
We also discuss a horse/truck Android game and the lyrics of "MFN Right" by 2 Chainz!
u liek show??? Keep us runnin' strong buy contributing to our Patreon! You'll get some very nice bonuses too:
176 - Dimension It (feat. Darth Sepius)
Neil Wannabe is haunting my home. I know this because he spoke to us through the Necrophonic app. All this and much more spooky goofery (including Groff the Chain) on this very haunted episode!
Now, g'head and check out our new Ghost Adventures parody, Polterguys: Michael the Doll!
If you love this business, drop us some coin over at Patreon, please!
175 - Keith Sweat's Sex Territory
Yo, you like juice movies? Huh?
We got the hits this time: Tindergarten Cops and Pervert Proverbs.
Thanks for listening! Check out this real nice Patreon, pleeeease.
174 - No Tongue, No Nose, No Mask
In this episode we discuss some of the stupidest things ever uttered by famous idiot Joe Rogan, we discover the meanings behind our recurring dreams, and Tony Boogyman makes his professional wrestling debut!
If you like our content, please consider supporting us on Patreon! You'll get some very cool freebies along with the satisfaction of helping some hard-working independent creators. Thank you so muuuuuuch!
173 - Killing Tony Boogieman
Chris "Milkman" Milton joins us to discuss the first episode of History Channel's The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch! But before that, we've got another installment of Butter Man among a myriad of other fun topics.
Thanks for listening, and get on that Patreon tip for some super sick bonuses! Only $3! WOW!
172 - Motorwayne & the Mystery of Spit Crick
Thanks for listening, everyone! If you like our show, you can support us over at Patreon and get some sweet extras in the process:
171 - Big Honkin' Pig
You got a problem with me, wiseguy? Huh? I'll have ya whacked. Feed ya to my pigs. They eat the bones!
Hop on our Patreon for extra content, including full-length movie commentaries! It's so inexpensive and so worth it, I promise. Thank you!
170 - The Ultimate Choice
This episode contains a lot of laughs. I mean this literally. A lot of time is spent laughing. Just know that I cut out about half of it. In reality there was roughly twice the laughing. Sooooo...
Did you know you can support our goofs and get some sweet bonus content at the same time by contributing to our Patreon? It's true, so please do! Thank you!
169 - Born Hard
From high atop a horse egg pyramid we answer the internet's burning questions after discussing a Mighty Ducks theory in which Gordon Bombay poisons a bunch of kids!
Support us on Patreon and get more super nice goofs, please!
168 - Ghosts Don't Wear Leather Jackets
"You have to have at least ten years as a DJ under your belt in order to communicate with ghost," said Justy Boy. Luckily, we've been DJing since the early-90s Acid House underground rave scene, so we can talk to ghosts. Not a problem. Listen and you'll hear us communicate face to ghost-face with intelligent entities via the sick smart phone app Necrophonic.
Subscribe to our Patreon to support the show and get some dope bonus content!
167 - An Day Off with Foot Girl
Jetskis. We've never used 'em but we love 'em. Very powerful machines with very powerful pee pee streams!
Now call up Quick Meat™ and hop in the beef, cuz this one's a slapper!
Wanna support Cool Parents? You do. G'head! Get some bonuses while you're at it:
166 - RoboJoan
Allegedly there was once a female pope! Any evidence of Pope Joan is hiding in the Vatican archives, accessible only to the Christ. Duh, everybody knows that... What you may not know, however, is the story of the first robot Pope.
If you like what we do, please subscribe to out Patreon! You'll get all kinds of sweet gifts for doing so and we would appreciate it so much. Thank you!
165 - EGG WAR: The Temple of Al Spud
Got mud? Call Spud!
Hey, friend! You wanna support our podcast? Please? We put a lot of work into this thing, SOOO... G'head!
Thank you so much, and Jingus bless!
164 - The Scorpion Kink
We've finally identified the Seal Team 6 of ghost killers!
Please support the show and get some sweet swag over at our Patreon!
163 - American Food Baby
Have you heard about Joe Biden's performance-enhancing earlobes? Have you ever participated in egg-swapping? Have you ever mistakenly activated a Tom Clancy? No? Well...
Please consider supporting our show! Head on over to our Patreon to do so and we'll give you all kinds of goodies!
162 - You Can't Shave a Mummy
Tindergarten Cops is on the docket but we're also gonna dive into the epic poem "Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne. Additionally, we have some new information on POPE as well as noted warlock José Canseco.
Thanks for listening! You can support the show and get siiiiick goodies over at our Patreon:
161 - Evidence of Skin
These alternate titles for this episode should give you a great idea of what to expect:The Rock Has Eyes Bubble Gum Tongue Muscle Joseph Smith: Skinwalker Joseph Smith: Realm Squatter God Hole Shrimpin' for Oil
If you'd like to support us on Patreon, you'll get free gifts and a TRUCKload of extra content for only $3 or $5. Help us out, would ya?!
160 - Wet but Classy
Join us on our quest to locate Billy Football's soul. Witness a cryptic transmission form an ancient space caveman. Then later, experience the first ever "Bucket Match" in the history of CPW.
Thanks so much for listening! Please show your support if you can over at our Patreon:
159 - Bowel Knights: A Sinister Bean
"Do the Queen Bean Dream?"
Listen up, Groff the Chain is back! Need I say more? Park your heat, mister, and check out this new episode. Oh, you'll love what ya hear.
And don't forget to support us on Patreon for extra goodies, please and thank you!
158 - Horny Bay Boob Theory
Please don't throw us in the clink for using suggestive language in our episode title. It couldn't be avoided, I swear!
This episode is fiah. Simple as that. You better listen. G'head. It's got egg talk, peepee talk, and some life hacks to help relieve you of your freaks. What else could you need?
Hop on over to our Patreon and show your support! You'll get all sorts of goodies for your kindness.
Thank you all sooooo much!
157 - Rydo Honks Twice
We got a Race Track Man. We got a five gallon bucket. We got vials of spit. Last but not least: we got RYDO.
Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy Rydo.
Have you subscribed to our patreon? You totally should! We appreciate the support.
156 - Impervious to Nut
Wanna see my pit? Hit me up!
Don't forget to support us on Patreon if you can. Thank you!
155 - Lasso Lizards from Hell
Biiiiig slugger and friend of Bigfoot Jose Canseco is back and looking to throw some fists. Could he be the meathead Nostradamus?
Also, do you hate snakes and love apes? We have the story for you!
Thanks for listening! Please consider supporting us on Patreon at:
154 - Pope Floats
POPE. That's all. Short n' sweet. Pope Sean Paul... just not that Nazi Pope. Not my POPE. NOPE.
Please support us on Patreon over at:
Thank you and POPE bless!
153 - Cartier Wallet Chain
What's up, you puke freaks?! I'm sorry I called you puke freaks just now... I meant it in a nice way. Anyway, check out this new episode! It features the return of Tindergarten Cops and Jabroni Jamboree, as well as a conversation with Nick Einstman (of Nick's Not Creative) about Cartier jewelry.
If you like our stuff, please consider becoming a patron over at:
152 - Meat of the Loom
I really hope you're not listening to this via 5G. Especially if you've been vaccinated. You know Big Brother? I heard on Facebook he's trying to do some stuff. So...
Will.i.Am? More like Will.i.AIN'T! Shooooot.
Please consider supporting us by becoming a Patron over at:
Thank you so much!
151 - Dope Runt in the Bongo Zone
Have you been to the Bongo Zone? Come on in, be my guess! Are you a melancholy alpha male like Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst? Be my guess! Interested in my "Runtz?" Be my guess!
And don't forget to support us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/coolparents
150 - The Legend of Goof Nugget: Bigfoot's Bounty
On this special 150th episode, we're joined by Nick "The Post Master" (and dungeon master) to embark on an unforgettable quest to save Bigfoot. In return, Lord 2 Chainz will grant us back our lives after we were killed by a huge truck. Will we prevail?!
Please consider helping us out by becoming a Cool Parents patron at patreon.com/coolparents
149 - A Gutter Punk Christmas
Ohhh baby, we got ourselves a hot one here! We're finally hearing the voices of our sweet slimes (and one frienemy: Don Palumbo). Wanna know what a gutter punk Christmas looks like? Listen to find out! You'll also learn about diesel fuel, Santa Claus AKA your dad AKA a liar, and Scottish snow plows!
148 - Rod
Look out for Rod and Mr. Meat!
We've got some Pervert Proverbs for ya, a brand new (to us) cryptid, a nun game, and... wait, did you know horses can SWIM?!?!
147 - Ghost Train Hussein
Got lasagna snakes? We got a Garfield for that!
146 - Bingo Night in the Kingdom of Heaven
Please do not say a prayer for my motha, for she has been expelled from the Kingdom of Heaven. Instead, listen to us goof off real niiiiice! We'll solve a mystery or two and talk a little Tough Guy Poetry so tune in, would ya?
145 - Billy Brews & The Famous Pilgrims
THE PILGRIM IS HERE.
144 - The Cinnamon Submission
Have you ever wanted to do bath salts with Jesus of Nazareth? Of course you have, so just join us, would ya?!
And guess what. Making a Muscle Boy is back with a vengeance!
143 - Joe's Pump
Somehow Joe Exotic's penis pump was not the spookiest part of Ghostober 2020. Zozo stole the show!
142 - El Chupacaballo (A.K.A. Night Horse)
Other titles considered for this episode:Horse Trap Horsetopus Horse Morsel Horseferatu El Chupacaballo (The Horse Sucker) Insane Horse Pussy Horse Terrors Horse Cork
Notice a trend? Horse! Why would we end #Ghostober with horse? Because horses are... spooky? Olivia joins us to elaborate and introduce us to the terrors of the Night Horse!
141 - Never Trust a Hagrid
Can't get enough Ghostober? Neither can we. So here are some more ghosts to suplex!
140 - Speak the Latin, Become the Worm
We're back with more #GHOSTOBER goofs and spooks and we're asking the question: Why are child ghosts scarier than grown ghosts when the small ones would be easier to put down with wrestling moves?
139 - Body (Parts) of Christ
This one's got all the sweet details of Jesus' foreskin! And since it's Ghostober, Groff the Chain makes its triumphant return. We also have an UPDATE regarding Australia's own "Bowl Cut Yowie" and a (sadly) Bigfoot-free episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark?
138 - Unravelling the Human Pop Tart Putty Monster
Hope you like MUMMIES! We're going deep into the tombs and pyramids of the ancient mummy pharaohs, firmly crossing our fingers to avoid the dreaded Mummy's Curse.
137 - Are You Afraid of the Blood Mummy?
It's almost Ghostober, folks! That means we're talking about them BIG pumpkins! Sure, we may discuss a truck or two, but they're electric so are they even really trucks? You be the judge. And then we move on to our very spooky conclusion in which we watch not one, but two episodes of Nickelodeon's classic Are You Afraid of the Dark?!
Beware the BLOOD MUMMY!
136 - Experimental Amoeba
It's FORD TRUCK MONTH, BABY! And we're getting all the truck out of our system before Ghostober comes around. That means we're talkin' Toby Keith and Kid Rock. There's plenty to love in this episode, so give it a listen, would ya?! We'll be sure to give you the ol' Kid Rock Salute.
135 - WAP (Wet Ass Poetry)
Are you a fan of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's smash hit "WAP"? If so, you came to the right place. Listen to us deconstruct the track's controversial lyrics in the climaxxx of this episode!
If you like glory holes, you've also come to the right place, because we're discussing their resurgence amid the current COVID pandemic.
Also in this episode: a special Tony Hawk's Pro Skater edition of Butter Man!
134 - Colossus is a Scorpion
Topics covered in this episode:Skull Skirt/Dome Crown Super Machino Jungle Heaven Master Chief from the popular video game series Halo Nick Pit Nick Pit's Big Beard Company Nick Pit's Pit Pit in general Colossus' waxed scorpion body Mt. Pico and so much more!
133 - The Humble Cornholer
Curtis went up the country and did some cornholin' with the boys. Justy Boy looked at Craig's List's Missed Connections and got sad. Then Spineshank changed the world of rock n' roll in another installment of Tough Guy Poetry. Now... may I see it?
132 - The First & Last Caveman: The Joe Rogan Experience
This episode is brought to you by the letter "C" for caveman!
The first ever caveman podcast was from the original caveman: Joe Rogan. Of course, this was way back in the times of the cavemans of Pangea. Wanna learn more about cavemans? We have a segment for that!
We're also diving back into some senior yearbook quotes from 2003! Listen, come on, listeeennn!
131 - Weaponized Horse Cleat
Humans should have horseshoes. It just makes sense.
Today we're looking at another wonderful Android game called Super Miami Girl: City Dog Crime and topping it all off with some Pervert Proverbs!
130 - Amazing Spider Rope Frog Hero
Amazing Spider frog is new fantastic Spider game. K? Fly like a flying hero with Iron Rope Hero and take down The Bad Gangster.
Want to know more about Frog rope game? Listen to this episode.
Other topics include:Bionic pee pee Green Banana Blue hole Worm cult Mud Church Moon harpies
Seriously folks, you don't want to miss this one!
129 - "I'm Rocky Balboski, Punch My Meat"
Justy Boy's taking the reigns for this one! Get ready for a journey through British slang and 2003 yearbook quotes in another instant classic episode of the Cool frickin' Parents Podcast.
Warning: This episode contains monster erotica. Please be discrete, ok?
128 - Cotton Eye Puff (on VH2)
The worst song ever written... but viewed through the eyes of a young Puff Daddy. Tough Guy Poetry featuring a band called Soil. A new musical genre called Mountain Funk. Lisa Loeb. All that and more on this installment of the Cool Parents Podcast!
127 - Blood Light
Did you think you could escape the BOPIS? You just can't, you'll have to learn to live with it. Learn to love the BOPIS. We're also taking some time to answer some of the internet's questions and to discuss Lil Wayne's big worm farm.
126 - BOPIS
Got a new ear worm for ya: BOPIS. It's a big deal. Trust me.
125 - Jesus Was a Cucumber
You like VeggieTales? Yeah? Then you'll love this podcast!
124 - Frequent Squeegee
New segment alert! It's called Squat Watch and we're perusing the darkest corners of the internet in search of muscle-related questions that need answering. So get that ass to the grass and tune in, people!
123 - Mud Gargler
I bet you didn't know that the Baha Men's "Who Let the Dogs Out?" is actually about female empowerment. That's a fact and we're totally here for it. Listen to the story and then listen to us answer your questions about gargling, hot dogs, and everything in between!
122 - Nipple Wedgie
FACT: The "G" in "G-string" does stand for GHOST.
That's right, everybody, we back on our ghost shit! Hope you're happy. We sure are. Can't get enough ghost to be honest. We're also dipping our toes into some alien hell portal business, so...
121 - Spirit Fight: Extendo Stilettos
Guess what, everybody. We're talkin' cryptids! Again! Except this time they're local to us here in New England. Ever seen a garden gnome come to life? Me neither, but I wouldn't really care to.
And among other things, we're Making a Muscle Boy tonight, so expect bloodshed!
120 - Bill Mudd
You probably would like to know who Bill Mudd is... He's Brad Pitt's alter ego, so keep an eye out for Mr. William Bradley Mudd.
WARNING: Contains much Sexy Boy.
119 - My Grand Pappy's Mud Puddle
Do you know the fascinating story behind Sisqó's timeless booty jam "Thong Song"? If not, prepare to have your mind straight up freaked!
We've also got some fresh as mud truck talk you will not want to miss. At one time, there were five fathers... until one was consumed by a mud puddle.
Finally, we have a few Pervert Proverbs to discuss and some other odds n' ends. (We don't mean to get political or nothin'...)
118 - Broken Benjamin
Benjamin has been breaking for so long, it's time that boy breaks! Speaking of Sevendust, we're getting into some Tough Guy Poetry in this episode along with a brand new segment Don't Get Bent out of Snape. Don't miss it!
117 - Knight Wiener
You know it's a party when we got Olivia up in this here cluhhhh!
We're talkin' truck (duh), bote (duh), and wieners (duh). We're also rebooting the COVID-19 virus and re-introducing the world to Tindergarten Cops!
NOTE: May contain Wandy. Please be advised.
116 - Hippopotapus
What is a Hippopotapus? We can't say for sure, but it's probably some sort of hybrid creature on exhibit now at Owen Wilson's zoo! He bought a zoo, wow!
In this episode, we're talkin' shit about a lot of things, starting with the obviously disingenuous ad campaigns exploiting the COVID-19 pandemic. It's more fun than it sounds...
Also, you won't want to miss the latest Fred Durst update. It's a doozy! And I'd be remiss not to mention the triumphant return of beloved sex symbol Sexy Boy!
Now g'head and listen to our rock-n-roll album, would ya?
115 - The Tsunami Code
We out here. We doin' our thang. Trucks, botes, and bootyholes await!
And check out our new album wherever you stream music!
114 - Big Loads Real Quick
Talkin' shit about lil/big rappers, trucker slang, elitist chef culture, and some other stuff I can't remember right now. Who cares?
"BOTE" by Shark Marvelous & J-Slicky
In honor of Bote Month, here's a new slappin' rap jam straight outta the yacht cluhhh. Hope your bote's got huuuuge subwoofers.
113 - Horse Violence & The Doomsday Ghost Bote
We're prepared for doomsday and we plan to bug out on the one and only Ghost Ship, star of the motion picture Ghost Ship. We're gonna solve a mystery as well: the infamous "My Way Murders." Also, be prepared for discussions regarding horse, truck, and of course BOTE.
112 - Diesel Bath
Every day is truck month, baby! Let's cover that white truck in mud and make that brown POP! Oh, and of course we gotta talk about ghost sex and Bigfoot a little bit.
111 - Mystery Business
We have a new business and it takes place in the Mystery Truck. That's because it's TRUCK MONTH, we love mysteries, and we're the rap game Scooby Gang. Got it? First order of mystery business: what the heck happened to Akhenaten's mummy? Did Tom DeLonge buy it? What about his tummy? We can figure this one out, no problem. Not a problem at all.
110 - The Deep Brown Crystal
We're broadcasting live from our doomsday bunker and we're just having a blast down here! But be warned: the end of this episode contains a lengthy and graphic reading of a particularly horny bit of Ghost Adventures fan fiction. So bring a change of underpants.
109 - Go Worm
Have you ever gone worm? In the club or otherwise? Well maybe you should try, all them Tik Tok kids are doin' it. #goworm #mcflurby #kswiss
108 - Carbon Smeeker
Curtis doesn't care much for wrestling. Justy Boy does. Who cares?
Stick around after our little argument for a reading of eleven year old Curtis' school project: an enthralling story about an undercover alien boy in Boston called The "Experiment."
And don't forget to check out the new Cool Parents single Crazy If True, available know on all major music streaming services!
107 - Future Ghosts
Strap in for a wild ride to the moon and back with Justy Boy and his friend Andre the Giant. Then we're bringing back Groff the Chain in what may be a display of Nick Groff's most... poetic work yet.
106 - T'Wario McFlurby
Ice cream has a new name and it's McFlurby.
Listen to this episode for the return of a beloved O.G. segment: Tindergarten Cops! There are plenty of goofs to go around, bring your friends!
105 - Truck
I'll be honest, you're gonna love this one. Tons of truck talk. Also, stick around to the end to hear some very important phone calls!
And don't forget to take our survey, the link is right on our home page: coolparents.co
104 - Fuzz Banjo
When you think "fuzz banjo" what comes to mind? Is it a banjo plugged in to a fuzz pedal? Incorrect. It is not. It is something far cooler. Listen to find out!
Also, don't forget to take our survey! You can find the link right on the front page of our website at coolparents.co! Thank you, slimers. And remember... Bernie Sanders cares deeply about your cock.
103 - Cyclopean Pesci
What's it mean to pop one's pussy? You really wanna know? Well, listen to this show, you freak! We're also gonna tell you about each one of the Best Picture Oscar nominees' original concepts. You'll be surprised to hear they were quite different...
102 - Hard Blood: Enter the Goid
Let's have a chat about Skull & Bones & drones! We've got some great mysteries in store for you on this episode, so let's solve 'em, k?
101 - Dark Susan Rises
We're chatting about Gwyneth Paltrow's pussy candles, Air Buds, and (of course) Bigfoots! Also, The Book of 2 Chainz is back. Thank you for listening!
100 - TOOK: The Untimely Disappearance of Sexy Boy Justy Boy
Justy Boy has gone missing. Can Curtis peel back the layers of a seedy New England criminal underworld and uncover the vast conspiracy that's concealing his whereabouts? The truth will shock you...
Best Goofs! (Ep. 20 - 90)
Here are some of our favorite goofs spanning from episode 20 up to 90. Enjoy!
See you next week for our extra special 100th episode!
99 - The Ufoglyist Pageant
"I got 99 episodes and this is one. Hit me."
Olivia pays us a visit to cover a topic we're all wild about: CRYPTID SMUT!
98 - Goof Dad Begins
A wild Goof Dad appears! Listen to our first Goof Dad brainstorming session and prepare for an emotional roller coaster. The guy just cannot stop goofing... and he's a judge!
Later, we take a look at some interesting Tinder profiles in a brand new edition of Tindergarten Cops!
97 - The Blueberry Enigma
Chuck Biscuits played drums for Danzig. That's just a fun fact for you folks. Also, is Kid Rock actually a misunderstood genius? Nope. He fully sucks shit. Wanna know why? Listen to our dang show! Luv u
96 - Shrimp Criminal
The Bible is a little out-dated, let's just face it... It's time for a reboot! Listen as we plan our own take on the "Good Book" with a hip new all-star cast! Also discussed: electric RipStiks, butt-chugging sunlight, Kid Rock, and a masturbating ghost ape. Have fun! #rebootthebible
95 - Punk Suck
Confused by the title of this here episode? We are too. Help us figure it out, please. We got Tough Guy Poetry, Pervert Proverbs, and a brand new segment called Fittin' Pipes here for you folks! Enjoy!
94 - Web to Web
We're joined once again by Warren (AKA W.C. Brigham) to discuss Valomilk candy, Twilight tote bags, idioms, and how "real" men shake hands. Then we dive into some Tindergarten Cops! What we find may shock you... but it most likely will not.
93 - The Dart Cobra in "Operation Eyeball Tattoo"
This may be the most outrageous Making a Muscle Boy this world has ever witnessed. We're talkin' snake creatures and the long-awaited return of the Neck!
Also, Justy Boy presents an... interesting conspiracy theory regarding John Lennon's death. Hint: it involves Stephen King?
92 - Mo' Ghost, Mo' Problems
This week, we're doing a little experiment! We're watching and commenting on the Ghost Adventures Halloween special: "Curse of the Harrisville Farmhouse" in which Zak and the gang investigate the house that inspired that Conjuring picture.
[Ghost Adventures is property of Travel Channel. Any audio excerpts presented in this podcast are used under fair use for critique/parody.]
"Smorgasbord of Orbs" by Cool Parents
Happy Heckoween everybody! Here's a track about hunting GHOST from our upcoming full-length album Who Cares?
91 - Born Nasty
The return of Mad Lips! Also some chit-chat about ghosts, mummies, demons, and deep sea lake tortoises. Real spooky stuff.
90 - Sasquatch Your Back
Folks, we have a banger on our hands here. We're talking 'squatch and Missouri's Bigfoot, Momo! We've also got some Pervert Proverbs for ya, along with a couple additions to our newest segment Butter Man. Listen for the premiere of a brand new Cool Parents track, "I Got Eaten by a Bigfoot," off our upcoming album Who Cares? Thanks for listening!
Bonus Episode: Butter Man
Here's a quick introduction to a brand new unnamed segment in which we discuss misheard song lyrics!
89 - Dr. Killdoctor & the Dark Dork Detective Dagency
It's Ghostober and we decided to punish ourselves by watching Feardotcom! This is our live commentary. Neither of us had seen it before, so we watched it with no sound and no subtitles, relying on the video portion alone to piece together a plot. The results are very spooky!
Check out our sponsor at www.mybookie.ag and use our promo code "PARENTS" to double your first deposit!
88 - Party in the Front, Opie in the Trunk
Hi everybody! We're here to discuss some Hosstory with ya. We're also fixin' to honk a little bobo later on in the episode, so be ready. Thanks for listening!
If you're in the New England area, come on down to Curlies Comedy Club in Rochester, NH on October 15th to see our first live podcast! Tickets are only $7 and are available here: www.bit.ly/cplivepod Check out our sponsor at www.mybookie.ag and use our promo code "PARENTS" to double your first deposit!
87 - Up Camp
We have some outstanding Pervert Proverbs to discuss, along with the return of Missed Connections! We also review some reviews of Moose (incorrectly known to some as The Fanatic) among some other fun goofs.
If you're in the New England area, come on down to Curlies Comedy Club in Rochester, NH on October 15th to see our first live podcast! Tickets are only $7 and are available here: www.bit.ly/cplivepod
Check out our sponsor at www.mybookie.ag and use our promo code "PARENTS" to double your first deposit!
86 - Small Man, Big Paws
Olivia is back with us to finish what we never started the last time she was on the show! The big question: What would Curtis' animal counterpart be in the "bear/cub" culture? Spoiler: It's probably a ghost!
85 - There Will Be Moose
It's time. Moose is risen. In this episode, we spoil the already rotten: Fred Durst's new film Moose (also known as The Fanatic by people who are wrong) and give our impressions. You won't want to miss it! This episode I mean, you may very well want to miss the movie. Ultimately, however, we do believe it's something you must witness at least once. It's ummm... it's really something...
Justy Boy also introduces a new segment that has nothing to do with Fred Durst or John Travolta. Check it out!
84 - Wayne Jetski's 3D Hockey
Olivia joins us to chat a little bit about porn comments in Pervert Proverbs and we also discuss the possible celebrity couple names for her and our very own Justy Boy! Wanna know about Johnny Pelvis, ectogasm, and squishy music? We got you, homie. Thanks for listening!
"Run the Game" by Shark Marvelous & Hunnit Dolla Bill
A brand new club banger from famous rap superstars Shark Marvelous and Hunnit Dolla Bill. This is audio codeine.
83 - Cleats
Justy Boy is coming out of the dog house and we're talking about a promising new Travel Channel show by the name of Strange World, the return of XFL (it's just worse football), Bernie Sanders microimpressions, 2Chainz's section, The Sex Light™, Joe's aroma, a little Joker, and Fred Durst's Moose aka The Fanatic.
82 - True Grint
Everything in this episode has been overshadowed by the monolith that is Thunderpants, however we do discuss Tom DeLonge's Angels & Airwaves lyrics as well as some Horse Tornado. There's a little Tindergarten Cops action as well. Enjoy!
81 - A Bad Batch of Sludge
This week's topics include:Bella Thorne [Disney -> PornHub] Anti-sex toilets/anti-fat toilets Ghost Brothers vs. the "Bad Man" Holly Madison x Zak Bagans Singer by name Jewel An exorcist rocking chair Horse toes R.L. Stine's Truman Show Green pee pee Bed pee pee Testicular evolution
Thanks for listening!
80 - Forever Hard
Wanna hear our horoscopes? Of course you do, you won't believe their accuracy! Also, we're discussing Pervert Proverbs, chiropractors, DoorDash, and more!
Check out our sponsor, Arrowhead Extracts, HERE!
79 - Daylight Mummy
The bulk of this episode focuses on Making a Muscle Boy, in which we stage our first ever "Fatal 4-Way," which is not as sexy as it sounds, albeit still quite sexy. We also have a heck of a time talkin' Bigfoots and that weird Christian rap song from which Katy Perry allegedly stole. Thanks for tuning in!
78 - Monster House 1: Demon House 2
Justy Boy is a horse. End of paragraph. And speaking of Hoss, we dive into some Hosstory in this episode. We also talk Moose, prepare for Ghostober, and answer some big questions.
77 - Pongo Peep
We're back up in this club, swangin' our chains around, finna bust a nut! Please join us on this incredible journey. Thanks so much for listening!
Best Goofs! (Ep. 1 - 20)
Justy Boy has fallen ill, so here's a super sick compilation of some of our favorite clips from episodes 1 - 20. Check out bit.ly/cpsampler for even more! We'll be back next week with a real episode, thanks for listening and UNDERSTANDing!
76 - Milk That Moth
Justy Boy unveils a story about a boy named Curtis and his sexual encounter with the Mothman. Have your tissues ready... and I don't mean for tears.
But before that, we discuss the lyrics that make up a very good rap song from former Ghost Adventurer Nick Groff in a segment called Groff the Chain.
Also discussed: human cows.
Bonus Episode: Roll Pizza
Hey everybody! This week's episode is running a little late... (When it gets here, you better believe I'm gonna whoop its ass.) In the mean time, here's some sound for your skull holes. I'm talkin' prank phone calls and a brand new hot track from the very famous rapper Shark Marvelous! Keep an eye out for this week's main episode in the coming days. Jingus bless!
75 - The Mysteries of the Many Moons
It's time we discuss the sciences! Wanna know about rats that loooove cat piss? You came to the right place!
74 - Ghost to Ghost AM
We're joined by a special guest: Duncan, son of Gary! We discuss ghost pirates and Duncan introduces us to the wild world of NBA players' nicknames.
Also, have you ever wondered how to be your own Diplo? Well, wonder no more! We have a hip hop tune to help you figure it out!
73 - Joe Rogan: Dolphin Mutilator
Oops! All Proverbs! We know ya'll nasty. So here's an episode that's mostly freaky video comments. We hit a few other topics, but we know you're here for the sperms n' stuff. Don't lie. Enjoy!
72 - #KEEPITDIDDY
It's time to start the revolution, everybody. It's time to get Diddy and stay Diddy. Join the movement, please. #KEEPITDIDDY
On this episode, we talk Diddy, Bizkit, Bigfoots, 311, and the Old Testament. Then we answer some superb listener questions for you kind folks!
71 - Tubular Gronkowski
Much to discuss. We're talkin' Diplo, EVPs, text robots, Ripstiks, and weird-ass kids. Also, we got Tindergarten Cops and some Mad Lips if you nasty. Thanks for listening!
70 - Bubble Mother
"Wow, 70 whole episodes! That's just wonderful, muchacho."
This episode is gonna rattle your bones, I hope you're ready. We dive into some Missed Connections, Horoscopes, and Tough Guy Poetry. We promise you'll enjoy it, or your money back!
Bonus Episode: The Holy Kiss
Hey everyone! There's no new mainline episode this week, but you won't want to miss this bonus episode. You'll hear a handful of new phone calls and a brand new trap joint! We'll be back next week for episode 70, thanks for listening!
69 - A Very Funny Number
This one's Pervert Proverbs all the way down, baby! You're welcome.
Also, please share our podcast sampler with all your buds:
Thank you so much!
68 - Thicc Wolf
We're joined in this episode by Dr. Bwett (@brett.brindamour on Instagram) to discuss the chilling realities of the Hollow Earth Theory along with some Tindergarten Cops! Please enjoy.
67 - A Tricky Species
You asked for it, ya perverts! This episode is loaded with bodily fluids, so be prepared.
66 - In the Time of Cavemans...
This week's episode is finna knock ya down! We talk Cavemans, we talk Bigfoots, we talk idioms, and we talk trucks. Please enjoy this ice cold glass of Goof Juice, courtesy of Cool Parents! Thanks for tuning in!
65 - Diphtheria Through Friendship
We got the scoop on black holes and vape tornadoes! In this episode, we review a whole bunch of Tinder profiles in a fresh installment of Tindergarten Cops and we answer more of your listener questions. It's a real hoot!
64 - Brown Snowman
Curtis recaps Wrestlemania 35, much to the chagrin of Justy Boy (the actual resident wrestling fan) and then all your burning listener questions are answered! Maybe not all of them... But at least a few.
63 - Hangin' Krang
Hi there, friends! We've got a fresh new spin on the old favorite Pervert Proverbs, the triumphant return of the classic You, Me & Goatee, some cooooool calls, and so much more for ya in this here episode!
If you like the phone calls we do, we've gathered them all (including several previously unreleased) on a YouTube playlist you can find at bit.ly/coolcalls
Don't forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel while you're there, and thanks for listening!
62 - Smiling Swamp Sharks
Hi everybody! Sorry we're a little late. But I think this one was worth the wait! This episode is haunted af... Beware the paranormal, because we've got ghosts on the brain!
61 - Lip Kiss 2 U
You like Jungle Movie? Well you're in luck! This episode contains the hit segments Tindergarten Cops and Pervert Proverbs. We also have a lot to say about Mr. Juicy J. Please enjoy, please.
60 - Garfield v. Terminator: Dawn of Justy Boy
Hi everybody! This here is our 60th episode. We're very proud of it. I hope you like it, and you should be sure to stick around till the end for some brand new, extra dank phone calls!
59 - Hungry for Ghost
Ever since we sold out and went corporate, we've just wanted more. So we tossed a couple ghost-based business ideas around. Also, 2 Chainz dropped a new album, so of course we had to take a look at some lyrics from his song "Whip" featuring country music singer Travis Scott in our returning segment, The Book of 2 Chainz.
Please check out this episode's sponsor, Arrowhead Extracts, on their Instagram!
Thanks for listening!
58 - Fudge Man at the Pizza Express
Justy Boy is sick and the energy is low, but the gags are still slammin'! We talk about Tom DeLonge, Korobeiniki, Family Values '98, and so much more. Also, listen to the world premiere of the hit rap tune Dick Like a Runt!
57 - Fountains of Pain: An Excess of Suplex
We're talkin' about Bigfoots! Jose Canseco and Tom Delonge join the hunt for answers. Also, Curtis gives Zak Bagans' Haunted Museum a call to get the inside scoop on various orbs, demonds, ghost, etc. After that, you're in for some real romantic Pervert Proverbs as well as the introduction of two deadly new professional wrestlers in the latest installment of Making a Muscle Boy. Thanks for listening, y'all!
56 - There Will Be Milk
This one's a banger, folks. We start with a little Tindergarten Cops as an appetizer, followed by an interesting phone conversation you won't want to miss, then some Groff the Chain for dessert.
"Kid shits feet."
55 - Tang-gential
The Soupy Bowl! Gronk won! Did you know that Gronk is where Muscle Milk comes from? That's a fact.
In this episode, we cruise through some Pervert Proverbs and discuss yesterday's horoscopes in an attempt to debunk the stars! Then, we perform an actual automatic writing ritual. The results are... interesting? I guess?
54 - Billy Wiffle
[Sorry for the audio glitches toward the end of this one... My recording interface is lousy with ghosts or something. It's really not that bad and still more than listenable, but I still feel obligated to apologize for some dumbass reason. Who cares.]
In this episode we go over some fun Bostonian colloquialisms, answer some listener questions, and make a couple phone calls. It's a hoot!
53 - Stonk Market Snow Day
It's a snow day! So naturally, we got a little tipsy and discussed the film Snow Day. We also answered a handful of listener questions in our newly-titled segment called We Want Answers. Throw a little Hosstory in there and you got yourself a party!
52 - Fatback
Our friend Colby (AKA Fatback) joins us to discuss some Tindergarten Cops and some exceptional Pervert Proverbs! And you better believe we took him to school when it came time to talk Mr. Marty Lawrence.
Check out the Florida Men on Florida Man podcast at fmofm.com
51 - Lousy Dad Bones
You can try to skateboard with shitty bones, but don't expect to survive. Especially if you're a dad.
This one's all about Hosstory and your listener questions. Enjoy!
50 - Chalky Studebaker: Murderballer
Happy 50th episode y'all! It's time again to talk Bluffington among other favorites. Thank you for listening, we love you!
Bonus Episode: Previously on Bluffington
Here's a recap of what we have planned for Bluffington, our dark reboot of the Doug universe, to get everyone up to date before we discuss season 2 of our imaginary dream show on our next episode. What we have planned is bound to shock you, so gather your yarn, thumbtacks, maps, and Polaroids and brace yourselves for an unforgettable and grim mystery:
Who Killed Beebe Bluff?
Sneaker Freaks & Sneaker Daddies
Ever heard of sneaker worship? We hadn't. Ever wondered what's in a black hole? It's snacks.
Cricket Bucket? Well, Shoot...
We're joined by Warren Brigham (AKA handsomecultleader on Instagram) for some goofin' on Nick Groff's exceptional hip-hop tunes and a new segment in which we determine the most likely origins of some of our most used idioms! We also discuss the implications of PornHub's "Year in Review" statistics. Turns out there's a high demand for Fortnite porn. Shoot...
Blue Man Centipede
Apologies for our sick (not the cool kind of sick) voices, but this one's still gonna rock ya good 'cause it's a real doozy! In this extra thicc 'sode we answer your burning questions, create some wrasslers from scratch and have them duke it out in the ring of our imaginations, and make a stunning conclusion about the future of the Blue Man Group. There's plenty more, too. Crank it up!
Yucky Boys Confusion
An old segment makes a triumphant return, joining Tindergarten Cops and Tough Guy Poetry in this very cool episode.
Get yucky with the boys!
This one's all about those off-the-rails goofs. We answer some listener questions and browse some "Missed Connections" in a brand new segment!
This episode is pretty heavy on the P.O.D. so you've been warned. We also follow up on the specifics of habitat-swapping sea creatures and birds. Skysharks, oh my!
Rap Game John du Pont
We discuss the merits of artificial intelligence, a couple different bigfoots, some Tinder profiles, and some Pervert Proverbs! We also answer some very interesting listener questions.
On this episode, we recap our most shining moment: the appearance of our tweet on the train wreck that was #GhostAdventuresLive. I still can't believe they didn't even open that Dibbuk Box... After FOUR hours! Sheesh.
It's the end of Ghostober, so consider this episode only semi-spooky. That doesn't mean we shy away from the spooky scaries. Disturbed is bound to come up...
We also discuss the word Orangutan, some spooky sex toys, and possibly reveal Whitey Bulger's killer! (Note: This episode was recorded the day before Bulger's death. No joke.)
Spooky Stories #3: Capone's Bones (with Julie)
Julie joins us to discuss ghost kids, ghost cats, and ghost ships in our final installment of "Spooky Stories!"
Johnny Hotsauce & The Goblin Cannons
Another very spooooooky episode celebrating Ghostober! Please be advised, this episode may contain David Draiman...
Spooky Stories #2: Lil' Meow (with Katie)
Joining us for another spooky-ass installment of our "Spooky Stories" miniseries is Katie Stone (AKA kittenwaffles). She regales us with tales of ghouls and glitches that will frighten the living piss outta ya!
Spooky Stories #1: Puddle of Mudvayne (with Nick and Mike)
Famous musicians Nick Avery and Mike Norton join us to discuss the paranormal in the first installation of our "Spooky Stories" miniseries!
Part 2 of the Ghoul Parents Halloween saga! For the first time ever, Justy Boy takes over as host an instantly regrets it. We talk demons and specters and wieners, etc. The usual stuff. Also, we finally hear from Justy Boy's dad! (Justy Man?) He schools us on how to catch a Bigfoot.
Craig's List Exorcists
It's officially the spooOooOOOoOookiest time of the year and we're ready to deliver the chills! Justy Boy's sister, friend of the show, and all-around excellent gal Jaime joins us as we recollect our spookiest memories. We also chat about our favorite Halloween movies and the most haunted places in New Hampshire. Turn off the lights and get under your covers for safety!
Neptune in the House
In these troubled times, we all strive for a little certainty. Is it possible we find it in the stars? Turns out, nah...
Would you have paid real life human money to see We Bought a Zoo if Owen Wilson had starred in it? We would have. We would have hopped right into Owen's gorilla bin. You heard me right. Take a walk down the Fred Carpet as we unravel all the earth's greatest mysteries...
Talkin' bout good cop/sad cop, talkin' bout tough guys, talkin' bout MOOSE... Also, we answer some of your wonderful listener questions!
[P.S. I'd like to formally apologize for our mouth sounds. We were too close to our mics and we are very very sorry, Thank you for your understanding.]