Courtship Code

Humility in your spirit is a beautiful virtue to have but it can make you shrink in your courtship process in a way that is unhealthy for both your partner and most importantly, you. Take a deep dive into this episode to know why humility does not serve successful women during dating and courtship.

Since time immemorial women have been taught to be less, speak less, and express less. It has never been safe for a woman, especially women of color to be seen and heard. We grow with generational trauma and triggers that severely impact our understanding and expression of our most authentic selves. It is not unexpected then, that we develop the idea that we have to shrink ourselves in order to be loved, valued, and respected. If we don’t, we fear that there will be rejection and abandonment.

Many women are what we would call, modern traditionalists. Women who have worked hard to create a completely modern life but the values they hold are traditional. In that case, a traditional or an anti-traditional man can again force us to shrink our boundaries, needs, and wants. If we don’t, there comes the fear of rejection again.

However, although this may come across as contradictory, the truth is you can have both - balancing modernity and traditional values. Navigating the complexities of courtship can be challenging but the real problem is not external. It is the self-doubt, the insecurity of being too successful and still not being enough, it is the disbelief in the ability to have a fulfilling relationship. This happens because we place our value in external things like our home-making skills or our sex appeal or mostly, our accomplishments.

The solution to this? Setting boundaries in courtship and embracing your most, authentic self, placing your value in your growth. The end goal here is overcoming self-doubt in dating, and owning your value in courtship because if you don’t, humility can keep you in a loop of compromise. Inner-work for successful women isn’t easy as you must challenge the beliefs that come up and question your worthiness, making you want to hold back and shrink but this reprogramming of how you show up in a relationship is the most important takeaway from today’s episode. Listen now!

Time stamps for this episode:

00:00 - Introduction

1:33 - On Lifestyle Shifting

11:18 - Storytime!

15:55 - Is it okay to not be heard?

17:08 - Generational impacts of trauma

19:03 - Wanting to be enough

19:22 - Modern traditionalist in relationships

21:55 - Trophy partners and the problem with looking at them as a prize

24:48 - The reason why humility does not serve successful women in dating and courtship

26:58 - Problem 1: Self-doubt and insecurity in your own worth and value

Problem 2: Fear of rejection and abandonment

30:35 - The solution to these two problems

32:00 - Embracing Your Authentic Self in Courtship

33:30 - Honoring and enforcing your boundaries

35:42 - Reclaiming Your Worth: Ending the Cycle of Settling for Less in Relationships

36:53 - The changes you will notice once you start the inner-work

37:47- 5 Tips for Cultivating Self-Worth: Building Confidence to Pursue a Fulfilling Courtship

37:53 - 1. Identify & challenge limiting beliefs

39:32 - 2. Create new routines

40:30 - 3. Work on building effective communication skills

41:45 - 4. Practicing sharing and communicating with a community of women

47:17 - 5. Prioritizing and Investing in personal development and growth

49:00 - Accelerating your courtship process

49:41 - Humility - the virtue that can become a vice

50:00 - Conclusion

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

Attract Your Match Game Plan Call

If you have been dedicating 10-15 years of your life to education, growth, and self-development, you deserve a partner who understands you and is authentically aligned with your values. Today’s episode brings you an in-depth dive into the 3rd and 4th mistakes of the Courtship Mistakes series of episodes in our podcast!

If you find yourself jumping into situations that don’t go too far, it is because there is somewhere in you a lack of confidence in your own ability to feel valued, loved, and respected. There is thus a high level of urgency and you don’t trust any man, no matter how valuable to take his time to make the decision to commit to you. The problem, to begin with, is ourselves. If we don’t truly believe in the value we bring to the table, how can we expect to be able to qualify a man?

This could look like a disaster, but these human mistakes need action. You need clarity to first know and then own your authentic value, you need to open up your social circles and tap those social resources for your courtship process too to meet these valuable men around you (believe us when we say there are plenty). You have to very necessarily take the effort to go through the courtship process in a way that is intentional and will lead to commitment. This is where knowing how to get courted, and stepping back into your feminine energy comes into the picture.

It’s not a rule but this is why at Captivating Courtship, we focus on getting to know how men think and their perspective in commitment psychology. It truly could be life-changing for your courtship process. The Love Loft is a tool that has the power to transform your framework, shake and reconstruct your belief system and most importantly get you commitment-ready so you can meet, qualify, and get courted by valuable men.

Take a plunge into this insightful episode and know what not to do when you’re trying to court for commitment!

Time Stamps For This Episode:

00:00 - Introduction

1:55 - Comparison is the thief of joy

2:50 - Why you deserve an authentically aligned partner

4:04 - Importance of understanding commitment ready levels

5:00 - Mistakes 3&4 introduction

5:13 - 2 processes to help attract quality men

7:00 - There actually are valuable commitment-ready men around

7:20 - Importance of understanding the way he thinks

9:44 - High-achieving women vs high-achieving men

13:08 - What a man truly wants

16:27 - The 4 big problems

21:00 - The Love Loft Introduction

21:54 - The signature 6-Step Process

22:03 - Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

23:13 - Attracting from a place of distrust

23:40 - Helping you embody the Queen energy

24:15 - Helping you to meet men

24:57 - Knowing how to move through a courtship that ends up in commitment

25:08 - Getting grounded in your favorite energy

25:38 - Make commitment decisions & conversations

26:36 - The Love Loft - A deeper look

30:00 - Conclusion

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

Attract Your Match Game Plan Appointment

Being committed is defined as being devoted to seeing it through. It means when you know you’re in it to win it. Today’s episode works through understanding commitment readiness levels, in not just your potential partner but also yourself.

A relationship starts with you looking inward first. Before questioning if the man is commitment ready, it is essential to work on yourself and get to the point where you are able to receive that commitment healthily.

There are cold guys, warm ones, and hot guys. Cold guys are inconsistent, rejecting, and emotionally unavailable. You only attract the hot & ready ones when you yourself are self-secure and fully commitment ready. There can be endless debate on the third type of guy - the warm guy.

Warm guys who are valuable and ready to explore are tough to decipher. Not courted with intent and knowledge, warm guys can even turn cold. Then there are men who are valuable and warm but they’re not commitment-ready. Many women get stuck in these grey spaces with valuable and warm guys who they think are hot guys.

The underlying truth is you can’t expect every man you meet to be “The One”. We are actively working in the Captivating Courtship Code to break these stereotypes. The common thing about all three types of guys is: they come to teach you. You must be open to receiving and learning from each man you meet. The more experience you gain, the more value you show up with, in the ultimate relationship that later turns into a successful and valuable marriage.

Dive into this episode to learn about the three types of men, three things that could happen when you meet these men, and what you can do when you meet a warm, valuable guy.

Time Stamps for the episode:

00:00 - Introduction

1:40 - What is a commitment?

2:10 - Check-In with Yourself

4:00 - You have to be able to receive a commitment

4:33 - Three Types of Guys

10:20 - What to expect from guys in the relationship market?

14:02 - Every man you meet is not going to be your husband

15:18 - 3 things that could happen when you get out there and meet men

16:55 - More on the 3 types of men|

20:20 - How Warm Guys Are Different

22:28 - Conclusion

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Attract Your Match Game Plan Appointment

In todays's episode of the series, 6 courtship mistakes successful women make and how to correct them, we dive into courtship mistake #1: Successful women not focusing on valuable and authentically aligned men. Many accomplished and successful women don’t know how to identify and attract valuable men. 
Over my 8 years in the relationship industry, we’ve worked with a spectrum of professional women who desire to partner with men they deem as valuable. 

It became clear they had no real idea how to identify a man of value and how to focus their energy on being courted by them. Even if they had attracted these types of men in the past, they didn’t actually know why they attracted them, or how to meet more men they actually desire to partner with.

The big problem for these women, and maybe even you, is that valuable men meet women with the same accolades often. Women who are successful, educated, and attractive. That’s not enough to feel emotionally moved to commit. You must understand the psychology of commitment. Why they want to commit to a woman and how the process of commitment works so the relationship naturally and authentically moves in that direction, or you will find yourself in hot-cold relationships and situationships.

Two important things women need to consider: Valuable men want women like you and there are lots of valuable men available, right now.

Today's podcast breaks it down and provides a clear understanding and perspective of the shifts necessary to focus your energy on valuable men so that you can attract the types of men you deserve.

Time Stamps for this episode:

00:00 - Introduction

3:15 - Not attracting commitment

4:15 - What is a valuable man?

7:21 - Building an authentic connection

7:30 - Logical Attraction

9:00 - How successful women will sometimes fear a valuable man's circle of influence

9:35 - Accolades aren't enough to move a man to commit

10:13 - Not understanding commitment psychology

10:35 - Do you believe you're worthy of a valuable relationship or do you question it?

11:11 - You are already worthy enough to attract a valuable partner

11:49 - Successful women are often the first of their kind

14:15 - How you will notice shifts in your life once you start working on yourself

15:25 - Holding the initial interest beyond the initial desire

15:57 - Low value thoughts and emotions arising in courtship

17:00 - Valuable men actually want women like you

17:42 - What makes a valuable man feel supported?

19:42 - You already have the qualities that you value in someone else

21:26 - The odds are in your favor

22:07 - Envisioning life with a valuable partner

23:00 - Attract Your Match Game Plan Call

23:26 - Two reasons you're not attracting commitment ready men

24:00 - Conclusion

Links mentioned in this episode:

Book a 20 minute Attract Your Match Game Plan call

You come to bed tired from home, you switch between the dating apps, you get drained from introducing yourself to men who don’t match your energy, before you drool to sleep.

Now imagine finding men you can authentically connect to, men who are willing and eager to create a deep, heartfelt connection with you without being hesitant or having their walls up. Spend time with this image in your head, sit with it, embody it. Because you are about to actually find these “imaginary” men like many other women in this community did.

When you repeat the same actions and expect different results, you disappoint yourself and get stuck in the Loop of Distrust. However, changing your courtship actions and decisions can be a first step to having valuable relationships with a man worthy of your time and effort.

This episode gives us a quick and impressionable glance at 6 courtship mistakes made by successful women like you and how you can correct them. Tune right in and click on the link below for a 20 minute Attract Your Match Game Plan Call which will guide you with actionable steps on starting your courtship journey right.

Time Stamps For This Episode:

00:00 - Introduction

1:25 - Envisioning Valuable Men

4:02 - Spending more time living your vision

5:00 - Making different courtship decisions

7:40 - Shifting the focus of your energy

8:59 - First Mistake

9:52 - Quality men vs Valuable men

11:01 - Second Mistake

12:07 - Third Mistake

13:07 - Fourth Mistake

14:30 - 5 Steps for commitment

15:08 - Fifth Mistake

16:19 - Sixth Mistake

17:30 - Conclusion: Attract Your Match Game Plan Call

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Attract Your Match Game Plan Appointment

DID YOU KNOW that YOUR BIRTH CONTROL could impact the kind of partners you’re picking or decisions you’re making in your courtship process?

This episode is eye-opening for millenial women who are trying to balance busy careers, love and wellness. Hormonal health directly affects how your relationships and potential body image issues, anxiety, fatigue, emotional management and how you feel about yourself! Your hormones also can affect how you emotionally react, communicate and navigate your relationships and your love life.

In this episode, Zara J. interviews Jasmine Filiatrault, who is an ER Nurse and a specialist on Hormonal Health and Relationships, who takes us on a journey of how her mother had Endometriosis, her struggles with her cycles as a young woman and how she discovered the path to feminine wellness.

We learn about hormonal health, PMS, uterus alchemy, period cramps, birth control methods, their pros and cons AND fertility which is a concern to many women listening to this podcast because you’re looking to start a family or you see commitment and marriage in your future plans!

Take away life changing knowledge and tips from this enlightening episode of Captivating Courtship Podcast. LISTEN NOW!

Time-Stamps for the Episode:

0:00 - Intro

2:58 - Jasmine’s background and life

4:12 - Jasmine’s painful period cramps, is that normal?

4:32 - What happened to her body on birth control pills

7:07 - Birth Control stopped, IUD started

14:26 - Why do doctors insist on other solutions outside hormonal balance and nutrition?

17:55 - Jasmine specializing in hormonal health

19:05 - Women pick better partners, make better decisions when not on birth control

19:35 - Certification in Australia

21:25 - Do we inherit period/hormonal issues from our mothers?

24:02 - Over-working out

25:55 - Why is hormonal health something that matters?

30:26 - What is one of the biggest misconceptions some women have about their hormones?

31:29 - Can you have COFFEE?

33:45 - How Jasmine assessed Zara and her hormones!

35:05 - 3 to 5 big things YOU’RE ignoring!

40:43 - Funny Story by Zara

43:15 - Cancer, Breast Cancer

46:36 - How your hormonal imbalances are directly impacting YOUR LOVE LIFE!

49:37 - Misconception you might have about hormonal health or fertility!

53:13 - Tips for someone NOT ON BIRTH CONTROL!

54:20 - Concluding notes and tips.

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Attract Your Match Game Plan Appointment

If you’ve been feeling like you’re running on a treadmill and not making any real progress, it is because you don’t yet know who you truly are in a relationship - what your relationship patterns are, what works for you & what doesn’t and what you want in the future of your love life.

If you’ve ever had the thought of marriage and a family in your future, know this: it is 100% available to you and the voice in your head that tells you it’s not, is lying to you. No matter how much action you take, if your mindset does not welcome new, healthy relationship patterns, you are not going to be able to bring about a substantial change in your love life. This is exactly what is called self-sabotage.

In this episode, we discuss that the key to changing this is being powerfully vulnerable & transparent with yourself about what you want in your relationship and taking full ownership of the choices you make in your courtship & dating journey. You have to decide that your old patterns are not serving you any longer and you want to make the decision to be committed to making your future happen.

Listen to this podcast to finally give yourself the permission to not shrink yourself when you decide to dream, think and live big. You are allowed to design a Captivating Life with a man who wants to grow with you.

Link in bio, listen now.

In the 3 day Virtual Relationship Reset this weekend, you will get tools and coaching on how to manage your thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Learn how to be on the driver's seat of your love life.

You can register in the link mentioned below and set the “reset” button on your love life!

Time Stamps For This Episode:

00:00 - Introduction

00:29 - Self Care Weekends

4:01 - Cycle of repeat experiences

6:20 - You should know this, if you really want a marriage & family life

7:57 - Owning the desire for a partner

10:06 - You have to get clear on your patterns

12:00 - You have help available to you

12:33 - 5 Tips to create new authentic, high value relationships

13:05 - 1st Tip

16:47 - 2nd Tip

19:24 - 3rd Tip

24:00 - 4th Tip (The Gap)

26:58 - Make the Decision (You are committed to make that happen)

30:00 - Note on Making Decisions

34:32 - There is no Plan B

35:58 - Conclusion

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Register for 3 Day Relationship Reset

Of the top three relationship pattern types (The Too Goods, The Love MEs and the Trophies), which one are you? Most people fit into one dominating pattern type and one or two other sub pattern types.

Not knowing and owning your authentic value in a relationship may be happening because your inner girl is still choosing your partners and making decisions in your relationships. So, you seek validation or settle in a relationship.

In this episode, we deep dive into the three main relationship pattern types to understand what each type can do to break a toxic pattern and create new patterns that take their relationships to the next level.

Listen to this podcast episode to know how to reverse this and shift all control to the hands of your authentic adult self. This will help you create the high value love life you’ve always wanted to manifest.

Link in bio. Listen Now!

In the 3 day Virtual Relationship Reset this weekend, you will get tools and coaching on how to manage your thoughts, beliefs and feelings. You too can make your way through the courtship process and qualify & attract a man who is aligned with the love life you’ve always wanted to manifest.

You can register in the link mentioned below and set the “reset” button on your love life!

Time Stamps For This Episode:

00:00 - Introduction

1:49 - 3 most popular pattern types

5:06 - The Too Goods

9:10 - The Love Mes

12:07 - The Trophies

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Register for 3 Day Relationship Reset

In this episode, Zara breaks down why discovering your relationship patterns will be the turning point of your love life- not just for your love life but your other relationships, your career, your finances, your health and your self image.

What takes you from being a Wounded Princess to a Captivating Queen is healing your inner child. Your inner child has felt insecure, abandoned, ignored, unheard and triggered. This is why, even now, your inner child is running the show. This is why, after all these years of relationships, you could feel like you “ruin” even good relationships even though that’s not your fault you went through all that at such a young age. This is why your inner child needs to heal.

Because you value your love, career, finances and time, learning how to communicate your value to the right types of men is essential so that you can attract the right kind of relationship.

In exciting news, Captivating Courtship is holding a 3 Day Relationship Reset! It will be a 3 day live virtual event and it will leave you with the tools and knowledge you need to reset your love life in the next 30 days. Time for you to get intentional and take action. Allow yourself the opportunity to hit the “RESET” button on your love life!

Time Stamps for This Episode

00:00 - Introduction

1:19 - What Transformed Zara’s Life

3:50 - Why Matchmaking Was A Challenge

5:05 - Turning Point For Zara

5:26 - Why You Probably Sabotaged That Perfect Relationship

8:24 - Zara’s Breaking Point

10:46 - You Are Gonna Have To Do The Work To Bring Change

12:23 - How Zara’s Heartbreak Made Her Feel

14:23 - This Time Zara Focused On Herself

17:14 - Zara & Hypnotherapy

19:50 - Zara’s Decision to Captivating Courtship

21:40 - Patterns

26:22 - Why It Might Not Be Working For You

28:28 - You Don’t Have To Live A Life Of Regret

31:00 - Why Your Inner Child Needs To Heal

33:17 - 3 Day Relationship Reset & Conclusion

Links Mentioned In This Episode

If you attract emotionally unavailable men there may be a chance you are also emotionally unavailable. Do you want to know how to build and turn a long distance courtship into marriage? Maryama says “Don’t wait until things get worse. The sooner you take action, the better your life will be!”

If you’re a successful millennial woman and you have been actively courting and dating and you don’t know where to start, this podcast is tailor-made for YOU!

When she joined coaching, Maryama felt like she had “nothing to lose” and she needed “external help to figure out” her love life. From the Captivating Courtship Community, she found the examples, healing and relationship skills she needed to attract the right match for her. Coaching helped her also establish healthy boundaries and improve her career and her relationships, she finally learnt to advocate for herself!

In this episode, Captivating Courtship Code student shares her journey of becoming an emotionally available woman, attracting love, getting married and moving abroad. We dive into tips for long distance relationships and what made her decide to commit to her husband and take the leap to get married.

Get to know how Maryama turned around her love life and the ONE thing that was holding her back! She also gives us a sneak peak into her life as a wife and how coaching has impacted that. Head over to the podcast and LISTEN NOW!

Time Stamps:

00:00 - Introduction

2:22 - Where Maryama was before she joined coaching

5:57 - The benefits she had after joining coaching

8:07 - Maryama’s No.1 thing to work on when she joined coaching

10:23 - How she turned around her No.1 thing to work on

13:27 - How Maryama met her husband during coaching

16:30 - Long distance before marriage

20:40 - What about her husband was a “YES!” for her?

23:00 - What impact did coaching have on how Maryama shows up now as a wife?

25:20 - What has life been like now?

27:00 - Her wedding!

28:16 - Moving abroad and some important advice!

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Attract Your Match Game Plan Appointment

YOUR BRAIN IS NOT WIRED TO FIND LOVE!

The good news is that you can rewire it.

Do you feel like every time you take one step forward with attracting a partner, you go three steps back in your love life? Do you at this point question your desirability or ability to find love?

We are all operating on negative thought loops and patterns we default to because they feel familiar and safe. The way out of this cycle is to learn how to process from the present and the future instead of your past. You have to get new experiences that validate new beliefs. You have to rebuild your trust muscle so your brain has proof that you can have the type of relationship and commitment you want from the types of men you want.

Listen to this podcast to make high quality relationship decisions so that you can attract the right partner faster and to get more information and action to develop the skills you will need in this courtship journey with us!

We have a Freebie for you today. It's called Total Package Confidence. It breaks down the pillars of stepping into the best version of yourself and that includes trust & intuition. To get the free download, message Zara on Instagram, “TPC”.

Time Stamps for the Episode:

00:00 - Intro

4:16 - Time is now to make your love life a priority!

6:17 - The Loop of Distrust and its effects

14:47 - Attracting the same type of men

16:54 - How To Break The Loop of Distrust

18:14 - First & Second Hand Proof

18:57 - Captivating Courtship Coaching Community - why YOU should be part too!

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Get FREEBIE DM “TPC” on Instagram

Twenty-three percent of Americans aged 30-49 are single. With millions of Americans looking to attract a relationship and committed partner you may ask yourself, "Why am I still single?" This episode will bring clarity and help you take intentional action towards a high quality love life so that you can attract a compatible partner for marriage. We delve into the three beliefs of Desirability, Availability and Inevitability and the 8 reasons holding you back from taking actionable steps to improve your relationships.

We discuss the importance of self worth and how low self worth can negatively impact our efforts to seek partners. From attachment styles, childhood trauma, sense of self to emotionally unavailable men, we discuss everything that is keeping you looped and leashed. At the end of the episode we discuss the top three reasons why you might be feeling like love is not meant to be and what to do about it.

Book a 20-minute relationship assessment call to figure out what’s holding you back and take actionable steps!

If you’re someone who struggles with inconsistent communication with men, over-investing in someone who is not ready yet or find it difficult to maintain your boundaries, then this is an episode tailor-made for you.

This episode reflects on the importance of communication. There can be different types of communication like articulate and effective. Being good at one doesn’t ensure the other. What about what you should FEEL when you’re in the right commitment, how your struggles can affect your relationship, the importance of preparing for your future commitment and when to really have a commitment conversation?

Take high quality relationship insights away from this episode of the Captivating Courtship Podcasts.

DM ‘90’ to get Free video training on 5 Steps To Attract Commitment in 90 Days.

Join the CCC Program to be in the driver’s seat of your love life!

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Do you feel like no matter how consistent you are with dating, your love life isn’t moving forward? Well, that could be because of love blocks. Love blocks create relationship patterns in your life. These love blocks could look like childhood wounds, triggers, self sabotage and abandonment.

Many high achieving women let relationship anxiety, communication issues, disappointment, or low self-worth hold them back from attracting the right partner. Identifying your relationship patterns such as fear of rejection and difficulty setting healthy boundaries, can create a ripple-effect of change in you. This episode will help you get clear how you can dig deeper into your own mindset which is the first step towards a high value love life.

Join us for this Monday's Coffee Chat behind the scenes of the Captivating Courtship Code coaching as we explore how to break free from patterns that may be holding you back from achieving the love life you desire.

Take your Queen of Courtship Assessment now to know which of the 4 Courtship avatars you are right now. This will give you specific actionable steps you can take to attract better relationships.

Time Stamps for this episode:

00:00 - Trophy Pattern

2:15 - How to Qualify a Man

4:47 - Get to Know People for Who They Really are!

5:29 - 1 Limiting Habit Women Have

6:05 - Why Qualifying a Man is Important

9:33 - Fear of Rejection is Fear of Vulnerability

10:02 - Ways to Make Yourself Heartbreak Proof

12:43 - What is stopping you?

13:50 - Manifest Your Match by Paying Attention to Your Patterns

16:52 - Boundaries are Scary but Very Important

17:11 - It’s mostly All About Plan A!

19:42 - How to Get Clear on What You Want

22:51 - Where are You Positioned?

25:07 - Journaling Your Courtship Journey

29:25 - What You Can Do Differently

31:35 - Conclusion

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

15 Minute Courtship Assessment Call

In this episode, we dive into setting clear boundaries and knowing when and why you need to lean back to build a sustainable, stable relationship. Join us for this Monday’s Coffee Chat as we explore things you can do before reacting to disrespect in your relationships.

One key to attracting your ideal partner is being clear on your own relationship needs. The more clear you are on your relationship needs, the more intuitive you will be in courtship and choosing the right partner. Clarity will help you narrow down and focus on quality men who desire your authentic value as opposed to men who disrespect your boundaries and ultimately leave you feeling unworthy.

Or maybe you’re attracting good men but they’re just not meant for you.. You probably need to break up with your type?

The Relationship Assessment Call linked below is for career driven millennial women who want to assess their love blocks and have a game plan for courtship.

Time Stamps for the episode:

00:00 - Introduction

4:11 - Why Being Clear on Relationship Goals is Necessary

7:00 - Things You Can Do Before Reacting to Disrespect

8:57 - You Don’t Need To Raise Him

13:07 - How To React To Expectations of Exclusivity on The First Encounter

15:04 - How To Make The Right Choice And Not Regret it

18:35 - Misalignment in Values, Visions, Decisions

22:43 - Expectations of Long Distance Exclusivity

29:29 - How To Score Your Man on The Commitment Scale

33:57 - Why You Both Have To Be On The Same Page

35:12 - What He Might Be Feeling & Why You Should Post In The Group Proactively

37:50 - Know When & Why To Lean Back

43:18 - Your Focus Should Be Alignment

48:00 - Conclusion

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

20 Minute Relationship Assessment Call

If you're meeting men and the relationships only last for a few conversations, weeks or short months but not fully moving into a secure, committed relationship then this episode is for you. When you've been in a cycle of this type of dating and courtship experiences then you will feel uncertain about where the relationship is headed and if your time is being valued with the potential for a real future with a man.

This is an important cycle to break, especially for women over 30 because you do want marriage, family, and to create a life with a partner who wants the same things out of life as you. You don't have time to waste and you have given dating & courtship lots of tries up to this point in your life so it’s time to fill in the blanks with what you need to do differently.

In this episode you will learn how to attract an exclusive relationship that’s committed which will lead to an engagement and marriage.

DM "BRAINSTORM" to join our next live training

Apply to CCC 2.0 for February Enrollment

Today I’m sharing 10 courtship secrets of confident successful women. These women often do a great job of masking what’s really going on in their love lives and how they actually feel. If you are like many confident successful women are hopeless romantics who are extremely resilient with relationships. You will try again and again the same way you go after any career goal in life. The thing is with career goals most follow a career success path and know the blueprint to achieve their goal. However, with relationships you tend to do the opposite. Due to shame and guilt you are uncomfortable with asking for help or letting others know how you actually feel inside when it comes to relationships. And that you don’t feel as confident internally as many assume. This shame leads to a lot of time and years wasted with a facade about how things are supposed to be and how you want others to perceive you while you're suffering with low quality relationships. In this episode I breakdown 10 secrets and how you can stop shrinking with men and start attracting the commitment you want.

DM "BRAINSTORM" to join a brainstorming call and get our commitment blueprint

APPLY TO CCC 2.0 BOOK YOUR CAPTIVATING SESSION

Over my years of running a matchmaking service I had the privilege of getting the inside scoop of what commitment ready men actually want and have concerns about when it comes to making the decision for commitment. These men were actively looking for wives and would share their personal thoughts and feelings with me to ensure they were introduced to the types of women they'd want to commit to. In this episode you'll learn three things matchmaking taught me about commitment ready men and what you may be doing during the first 90 days of courtship that's preventing a man from feeling safe to make the decision to move the relationship forward and commit.

DM "BRAINSTORM" to join a live call to learn how having a commitment blueprint can help you

@zarajcaptivatingcourtship

February Enrollment to the CCC 2.0 Accelerator Program is NOW OPEN 2/6/23-2/17/23

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Regardless of how confident a woman may appear on the outside, many high achieving women have a deep fear of never being lovable. This leads to seeking validation, chasing unavailable men, and never feeling worthy or good enough to have the type of commitment they want. Surprisingly, many successful women have low standards when it comes to love. Yes, they may be attracted to and even enter situationships or relationships with men who would be considered high status or a prize, but they settle for poor behavior and non-committal men time and time again. 

On this episode we discuss how many successful women secretly fear of not being loved and how to turn this around.

15 Minute Courtship Assessment Call

After 8 years of helping women attract partners so that they can get married I’ve learned that courtship is actually a simple process. It’s not easy. But it’s simple. Right now you may think it’s difficult and complicated because that’s what your past experiences have taught you. So because you’ve been winging it for so long you have patterns that cause you to repeat past mistakes. In this episode we discuss why it's time to stop overcomplicating courtship and how to make it simple.

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Instagram @zarajcaptivatingcourtship

Queen of Courtship Assessment

Today's episode is a Monday Coffee Chat replay. Coffee Chats are living coaching calls in the CCC student community where students get to submit questions for live feedback and coaching. This call features insight on the first 30 days of courtship, the importance of being present during the first 30 days, and why it's more important to focus on intention vs attention in the early stages of dating & courtship with a new man.

15 Minute Courtship Assessment Call

“Choosing you is always the best option,” says mom and entrepreneur, Ceceily, of The Captivating Courtship Code coaching. In her thirties, with three children, she finally feels like she has full permission to be her most authentic self in relationships.

In this episode, Ceceily details adjusting to life after divorce and rediscovering dating and courtship as a newly single woman. She discusses how she struggled to distinguish the values learned as a child from the values she truly embodied as an adult woman, and how her inner child impacted her romantic relationships. Through her journey in coaching and healing childhood triggers and wounds, Cecily began her transformation into her now blooming love life to attract better partners, increase her business as a female entrepreneur, and feel more empowered for a quality relationship.

Listen to this podcast to take the first step towards joining a community of career driven millennial women who own their value, value healthy relationships, and use a simple dating and courtship process to attract committed relationships and marriage.

The Relationship Assessment Call linked below is for career driven millennial women like you who want to assess their love blocks and have a game plan for courtship.

Time Stamps for the episode:

00:00 - Introduction to Cecily

4:25 - How Zara Met Cecily

5:40 - How Cecily Joined Captivating Courtship

9:46 - Being a Chameleon: placing value in what you do for others

16:41 - The Change in her Courtship Experiences

21:02 - What Would Have Happened If She Chose To Not Join CCC

24:28 - What Happens When There Is A Gap Between Identities

32:48 - Her Love Life Right Now

37:33 - Being a Mom Of 3 & Courting

41:12 - Online Dating

43:50 - Expectations from: “Dating with Children”

49:55 - Cecily’s advice to YOU!

56:26 - How it Feels to Be A Part of This Community for The First Time

1:00 - Practicing Vulnerability

1:06 - How Coaching Impacts Courtship

Links mentioned in the episode:

20 Minute Relationship Assessment Call

If you anxiously attach as soon as you like a guy and put all your eggs and focus in his basket this episode is for you. When you are dating & courted for a few weeks or months, and then the relationship doesn’t turn into actual commitment, it may cause you take some time off out of frustration and disappointment. Then after some time you may work up the courage to do it all over again, and the new cycle begins. Feeling like you’re on a treadmill is exhausting. 

And you can stay in this same spot for years. This pattern causes a lot of wounds, heartbreak, low self worth and relationship anxiety due to always waiting for the ball to drop and for the man to say he isn’t ready or just end things out the blue

If you want a man who is compatible, will commit, and you don’t want to get emotionally attached too quickly you have to get off of this treadmill that’s wasting your time and making your more distrusting and fearful of getting hurt. In today's episode you will learn how to break this cycle and start meeting men who will commit in the next 30 days.

CCC 2.0N JANUARY ENROLLMENT IS OPEN APPLY NOW

A secret many high achieving successful women have is that they struggle with confidence and self worth. And society has made the mistake of confusing a woman with goals with a woman who isn’t fragile, fears rejection and failure, and a woman who doesn’t actually have it all together.

So you’re often treated as strong, or expected to have all of the answers, or to figure it out on your own. And while this may have allowed you to accomplish things you’ve set out to make happen…it’s also left you feeding into the beliefs and expectations others have put on you.

You may really want love and a partner who will see you as their best friend. A man who loves and values you and respects you, but deep down inside you don’t really believe it’s possible or that it will happen. And you really fear failure. Not just failure of settling and being a man who doesn’t meet the expectations of the people you care about…but you also fear the possibility of failing at ever attracting and being loved for who you are.

In this episode we'll dive into the real deal about why successful women lack confidence with dating, courtship and relationships.

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Book Consultation and Apply to CCC 2.0 

Being a matchmaker taught me there’s a luxury in the convenience of having help with love. The successful men and women I worked with as a matchmaker understood the benefit of accelerating their path to love.

Yet they would overcomplicate finding a partner even with help. I realized there were key things happening:

It didn’t matter who I introduced them to if they didn’t change these things and had the belief that they didn’t need to…they prolonged the opportunity to attracting a partner, unnecessarily. And most importantly, they weren’t getting any younger and in the back of their mind was a time clock and family pressure only causing more stress. So they needed to work with their situation and avoid reality and work against it.

In this episode we discuss why letting love come naturally is outdated and the future of love and relationships for smart, successful women.

ENROLLMENT TO CCC 2.0 JANUARY COHORT JAN 9TH-20TH

Apply and Book Consultation

If you reflect on the last 6 months and you have had some ups and downs with meeting men, yet you are feeling confident that there are men available then you may be thinking something is missing that’s blocking you from attracting the right relationship for you.

Maybe you feel challenged with getting to 3 months and exclusivity, or had a breakup within the last 6 months and you are ready to move on?

Are you confident you can get to 4-6 weeks with a man with ease, yet you aren’t clear why relationships don’t go to the next level of?

If you want to attract a great guy, a committed relationship, and you want to see progress in your love life and that means the next courtship milestone which is 90 days
& exclusivity, engagement or marriage.

In this episode we discuss what to focus on during dating & courtship after the first 30 days so that the relationship is actually moving forward to commitment.

BOOK 15 minute Relationship Assessment Call

Are you feeling clueless about courtship? If you've taken some steps towards attracting a compatible man for marriage but the relationships aren’t lasting or the men you are meeting aren’t fully committing and you’re not quite sure why, this episode is for you. Here's the thing, right now you may be taking some old outdated ways to date/court the men you’re meeting and it’s not working for you, especially if you’re a woman who’s over 30 and you’re trying to be intentional about getting married. And if do you want to get married, start a family, and want a man who will lead the way with his words and actions then you must turn this around now. In this episode we discuss the power of knowing how to court for commitment so that you can confidently meet a great guy who you can commit to so that you can get married.

Links mentioned in this episode

Follow @ZaraJCaptivatingCourtship on Instagram

Apply to The Captivating Courtship Code 

www.captivatingcourtship.com/coaching

Take the Queen of Courtship Assessment

One mistake you may be making that you need to avoid is treating the first or second conversation like a job interview. You may be doing this unintentionally, but pay attention to the flow of conversations whether online or offline and if you’re communicating with the intention to quickly eliminate a man as not a match.  When you first meet a man and you are asking questions to quickly qualify him according to your current deal breakers or a list you’ve already put together to be intentional you block the opportunity to qualify a man authentically and you block the opportunity to create a pure connection that may lead to commitment. In this episode we breakdown this common communication mistake you will want to avoid if you want to meet compatible men for marriage.

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Juggling all the things in life and trying your best to balance career and finding a partner is doable, even if you’re not having much success right now. If you are having conversations and meeting men but the experiences aren’t lasting very long: hot-cold relationships, the men appear incompatible, and you put men on pedestals then this episode is for you. You already believe you can attract good men yet, it feels like there’s something missing in your courtship experiences and you can’t put your finger on what you’re doing wrong or what you’re not doing that other women are doing differently to secure the relationship. In this episode we explore the reason why high achieving women need relationship skills to attract better men and relationships with more ease and satisfaction.

ENROLLMENT TO CCC is NOW OPEN 

If you're a successful woman and you're actively meeting men, but the relationships don’t last very long and you find yourself always getting to the same relationship milestone and then the relationship falls off, then this episode is for you. Right now, it may feel like you attract hot-cold, start-stop relationships or men who just won’t commit and although you may not feel completely dissatisfied with the men you’re meeting, you just want your experiences to be better and to actually attract commitment. On today's episode we discuss 3 ways as a successful woman you can attract better matches that will lead to better connection and actual commitment. 

DM "GOALS" to join the end of the year Relationship Goal Getter planning session on Instagram @Zarajcaptivatingcourtship

Book your 15 minute Relationship Assessment Call