Grief After Dark

D and Micki end the season with another fun, open, stream-of-consciousness-style conversation that goes from Star Trek, to showing up for our own excellence, to allowing harm, to the limitations in our belief systems and in own damn narratives. So much of Season 3 was about the ties that bind. Humanity is the condition. Connection is the medicine. If you can dream it, go forth and we will cheer for you. Til next time, friends!

Shelley Leiphart is a psychologist and neuropsychologist working in healthcare ethics, and boy did she bring some expertise to the GAD party this episode. She explains part of the trauma experience as a loss of innocence, sense of self, goodness, safety and justice, and how therapy can help break apart thought and emotion vs. what is actually happening. Shelley is a huge advocate of pursuing psychotherapy as an avenue to process trauma, see your grief from a different perspective, and find a new path forward. Grief is hard. Help helps.

Kristi Gerhardt joins Grief After Dark today with a beautiful and honest perspective on living with clinical depression. Not being sad when things happen. Not good ol’ fashioned teen angst. We’re talking the deep dark hopelessness that is one of the most common and also most undiagnosed struggles in the US today. And…we still manage to laugh through the conversation! C’mon, join the party and let’s all have a really good time talking about really shitty shit so we can all finally normalize mental health issues.

Here's some words for you: Perfectionist, impostor syndrome, eggshells, praise kinks, flimflam artist. D and Micki’s 20 minute bonus episode ended up being 40 minutes because there was simply too much to talk about. How much can you relate, though?

This week enjoy some both/and with D and Micki as they discuss The Plight of the Empath. What is empathy, and what is it to be an empath? Is it learned or inherited? Is being a highly sensitive person a blessing? Or is it a curse? Sometimes the best conversations are the ones where the answers just lead to more questions. And sometimes not-rapid-fire questions should not be publicly answered.

Sincere hardship and trauma vs. self-victimization. Small hurdles and big rewards. Moments of resilience. You know – just a little life catch-up, D and Micki style. Sometimes the hard shit is where it’s at. We are your cheerleaders, friends. Thank you for being here.  

This week Joshua Liberman joins D and Micki in a conversation about family estrangement. Because you all know how we do love a good difficult and vulnerable conversation amongst good friends! This reflection is truly a reminder of what true family and love looks like, unfortunately learned by experiencing the antithesis of those things. I would do anything for love...but I won’t do that.

You don’t “arrive” at spirituality. Divinity is not static. Enlightenment is not “a thing.” We can’t talk about spiritual growth that doesn’t involve psychological death or spiritual death. So…where does that leave us? With spiritual COMMUNITY. Who knew? AJ did.

AJ Turner is currently finishing up a PhD in Philosophical and Theological Studies of Religion at Drew University’s Graduate Division of Religion. And he absolutely brought all the things we love about great conversation here in the GAD family. Join us. Bring a spritzer. And a photo of Chris Hemsworth.

Lynsey Powell joins D and Micki this week to talk about her lupus diagnosis, feeling betrayed by your own body, the benefits of allowing yourself to sit in grief, and how to handle when people “at-least” you. Pain that others can’t actually see can be a tough one to carry. Good thing knitting can be so cathartic.

D and Micki are back with Season 3, Glow in the Dark! This season will once again explore the many facets of grief with a special focus on grief that isn't death. Special guest and Podcast Editor Extraordinaire Tim Hassemer shares his own difficult experience, and the book he wrote that helped him process his pain and survive the feelings of losing himself.

This episode includes talk of suicidal ideation, so please listen with care. If you need a resource, you can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling, texting or chatting 988, or visit  988lifeline.org

D and Micki reflect on the year past and the year that is to come, discuss what New Year is and can be, and celebrate the ability to see when to dig in and when to coast. It's never too late for a glass of champagne, and any time of year is a good time to celebrate.

For this special Grief After Dark Episode, Adventures of Grief Girl gathers bereaved mamas from around the world to answer questions sent in by friends and family who want to support bereaved mothers and families more fully. Join Jamie (our facilitator), Tina, Kim, Domenique and D as they dispel myths and beliefs surrounding grief, mourning and bereavement. This episode is powerful and informative, as always listen with your own discretion, take care of your mind and may you find clarity and gems to carry forward in your life as you open your arms to grievers. 

Deck the motherf*^*in halls and get yo kids. In this Turkeysode, D and Micki reconvene to give thanks for the simple joys of walking the talk during the Season of Expectations. And always. 

D and Micki wrap up Season 2 with recaps, fond memories, laughs, gratitude, real AF friendship, and just a little Aquaman. 

This week D’s 11 year old son Pierce joins us to discuss chickens, rockets, superheroes, life and death on a farm, the importance of a clean house, and the healing power of being wacky and telling Dad Jokes. Heart = Warmed.

Naja is a child and family therapist with a specialty in childhood trauma, and works in decolonizing clinical constructs in the world of therapy. In this episode, Naja brings beautiful wisdom on topics like supporting kids in grief, why social media is addictive, how isolation translates as danger, the chemical origins of love, and why “we need to be invested in each other if we’re going to survive.” 

While some of this episode is about kids it's not for kids. We ended on a sentence that contains the trifecta of uncomfortable English words including the mother of all swears. Be ye warned.

Where and how do you find validation? Could it actually be healthy or even possible to seek it outside of yourself? What does living in love look like? Do you experience in-the-moment tranqility? Can you let chaos just be chaos without responding? We know. It’s all easier said than done. But...how ready are you?

Updates, housekeeping, technology struggles, naps, juggling life, cookies from the universe, etc. You know. Just checking in with our friends. (That’s you.)

Behold, a conversation full of laughter and love with our friend Kim De Los Reyes, aka Kim of the Kings. Kim walks us through how grief made her lose The Music, and the beautiful way she found it again in nature, in movement, and in coming back home to herself. We discuss how we shake it to channel destruction into prayer, the wisdom of how movement can start as simple as going for a walk, and so much more. Come dance with us. Get movin.

Welcome to Season 2: Dark Matters! Come hang out as D and Micki ease right on in to a brand new Season of experience. We are still showing up with laughs and epiphanies and good times. We hope you do, too. 

Who's expecting too much from you this holiday season, and how much are you (over) expecting of yourself? Join us in this holiday vent session where we take some time to remind ourselves of how this time of year feels, and why, and that it's all ok. Even if it's not.

The Randosodes begin, and thus continues D and Micki's journey with you! In Randosode 1 we discuss thoughts on our habits to compare our pain, grief, suffering, emotional state, ability to be productive, etc. And thoughts on how we all need to cut it out. Can you randomly relate?

Coming full circle. Reintegration. What love is and isn't, and how you do or don't make time for it. Docking isn't always what you think...

Giving thanks to so many for so much. That is all.

This week, D and Micki explore several different concepts, ideas and definitions of anchors: what they are, who they are, when and how we use them, and the importance of mindfulness in anchoring. 

In this bonus episode, Micki sets the stage with a heart opening meditation, and we get a solid dose of passion, intimacy, vulnerability and immense beauty as James Barros, Amanda Furdge and D each offer up a love-inspired piece of original poetry. You dropped a bomb on me, baby.

The curse of distraction, the injury of oversimplification, and the fact that sometimes it's not sinking OR swimming, but rather it's BOTH/AND. Sometimes it's just about finding buoyancy so you can stay afloat. Sometimes people drop turd bombs on your nice emotional landscape. It's hard being a person.

D takes some time to talk to us about her life as a prolific artist and her Adventures of Grief Girl. Singing, dancing, painting, photography...our talented friend has seemingly done all things art, and is full of fun and wisdom about the process of creation.

The path to healing is not at all straight forward - it often loops back around on itself enough times to make you feel like you're failing, or flailing, or falling straight into the shark's mouth. There are ways to recalibrate. Perhaps with a Keanu fan club.

A quickie about Micki's obsession with jewelry-making, gemstones, and other various passions as she shamelessly self-promotes her art and business, Moonstar Charms.

Lots of shiny, pretty, alluring things out there that will try and convince you they're the quick fix for your whole life. Do not trust the sirens - they are full of nonsense and fuckery.

Micki takes the STFU Challenge and her struggle is real, while D offers modern wisdom about how we get desensitized to noise. The quest for meditative peace continues.

How in God's name do we get through this? Here we revisit expectation, look into the biology of fear, explore how triggers work, delve further into the Survival Kits, and discuss general ways to cope that are potentially more productive than just punching people in the neck.

The truth of Uncharted Territory is…it’s SCARY! In the second episode, D. and Micki discuss the loneliness and camaraderie that can come with feeling lost. There are important things that it behooves (beHOOVes) us to remember about ourselves and about each other while sailing these Dark Waters, including packing our Survival Kit and what that means! We also listen to D’s cat yowl for a second.

Maiden Voyage is the first episode by Grief After Dark with D. Anaya and Micki Hassemer, a podcast where we discuss love, life, death and everything in-between. It touches on the embarking on a journey you don’t want to take through Dark Waters that nobody else has ever seen, traveled, or experienced quite like you have and will. You have not chosen this mission, yet you know you must do it.

In Uncharted Territory, we explore surviving as kids and what those experiences have led us into. We also talk about a lot of other stuff including books, music, friendships and bananas.