Terribly Honest with David Tensen

I think religious leaders today face very unique challenges - particularly as traditional church attendance drops, yet people are still 'walking with God'. How can you lead a faith community which accommodates people of all stages of life and faith without ostracising or overlooking the young for the old and vice versa. In this unscripted chat, Pastor Gary Grant and I talk about stages of faith, the journey of humanity, and the importance of creating a safe space for people with different experiences and beliefs. We also talked about: * the limitations of traditional church methods and the need for a more inclusive and diverse approach. * different forms of worship and the importance of preventing problems in marriages and families. * the importance of connecting with Jesus and personal transformation. * concept of stewardship and the importance of taking care of oneself in all aspects of life.

In this episode, I delve the complexities and challenges of parenting. Beginning with looking at what raising 'successful kids' might actually mean, I highlight the importance of intentional parenting and the difficult decision of releasing children into adulthood. I share thoughts on the the sacrificial aspect of parenting and the immense pressure parents can feel to be all things for their kids - which is not possible or fair on either party. The tangental chat finally concludes with a discussion on the ABCs of parenting, with the first being "always be modelling." Find this on Youtube: https://youtu.be/3tWzJ_QMqvo Additional Resources: Blog article on the ABCs of parenting

This is part 2 of 2 on the topic of Foundational Sacrifice. In this episode I talk openly as a guy who sacrificed my well-being and my family's well-being in the name of church growth. I hit burnout and suffered from compassion fatigue, realising that I was taking on the sins of the people I was helping. For the first time, I publicly share about one of the key realisations I had which led to my recovery - being a sin-eater. "Historically, a sin eater was a person who would be called upon to perform a ritual that involved consuming food and drink that was believed to symbolise the sins of a recently deceased person. It was believed that by consuming the food and drink, the sin eater would take on the sins of the deceased person, and in doing so, would absolve them of their sins, allowing them to enter heaven." In sharing I hope to explain how some people with church-based wounding can end up there both voluntarily or involuntarily. Youtube here: https://youtu.be/bZOJS4SDU8U

In this chat I start to unpack an uncommon perspective on church-based wounding that, over the years, has helped a lot of people put words around something they have felt deep in their hearts. A quick Google of the term Foundation Sacrifice will reveal a practice that only physically stopped in Europe just a few hundred years ago. Today, however, the principle of sacrificing others relationally, emotionally, a d spiritually to build something still lives on in many organisations, including many Church communities. Find this on Youtube here: https://youtu.be/uKy_5h7Fhd4 Referenced: My Out of the Tomb teaching. Anne Hamilton books on Threshold covenants

In this interview with my dear friend Gary Grant from Friends First Church we chat about the importance of authentic relationship with God and one another.  We cover some of the sticky topics of miracles and theology including PSA and ECT. Gary shares on how they effect covenantal relationships in community. Find this on podcasts: https://anchor.fm/david-tensen Links: Gary and Debbie Grant pastor at: https://friendsfirst.com.au/ Link mentioned at end: https://www.godwit.com.au/

What role can religious trauma syndrome (RTS) play in someone's faith deconstruction and spiritual journey. In this episode I unpack some considerations on the tail end of the preceding 4 episodes on Stages of Faith. Article Referenced: Reducing Church-based Trauma. Should we start with the Ministry Workers? https://davidtensen.com/reducing-church-based-trauma-should-we-start-with-the-ministry-workers/ Excerpt:  "Symptoms in those suffering with RTS range in severity. Areas of the person’s psychological response effected by RTS include cognitive, functional, affective, social/cultural and developmental (delay). It is suggested that RTS develops in toxic religious environments where two basic narratives are communicated: “You are not okay” and “You are not safe.”. If you’ve been around varied presentations of the Christian message, you may agree there are plenty of doctrines that reinforce these two messages, including; original sin, eternal damnation, retributive wrathful judgement , end-time views, demon possession and gender/hierarchal/racial submission to name a few. You may also be aware of the ecclesiastical authority styles birthed from and supported by these doctrines." Video Youtube Version: https://youtu.be/vZI0X1OWVjw

This is part 4 of a look through the Stages of Faith. In this stage I chat about what happens at THE OUTER JOURNEY stage 5, and THE LIFE OF LOVE stage 6.   These are rather hard to talk about in that it is all rather unprescribed in its appearance. Main text: The Critical Journey https://www.amazon.com.au/Critical-Journey-Stages-Life-Faith-ebook/dp/B00UZDO9C2 Find this on Youtube: https://youtu.be/3V2Za6AFqd4 My Poetry book: The Wrestle https://www.amazon.com/Wrestle-Poems-Divine-Disappointment-Discovery/dp/0648989321/

This is part 3 of a look through the Stages of Faith. In this stage I chat about what happens at THE WALL in stage 4, The Inner Journey.  This stage has also known as the Dark Night of the Soul or the moment that surrender is the only way through.  Main text: The Critical Journey https://www.amazon.com.au/Critical-Journey-Stages-Life-Faith-ebook/dp/B00UZDO9C2 Find this on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-LIld355o My Poetry book: The Wrestle https://www.amazon.com/Wrestle-Poems-Divine-Disappointment-Discovery/dp/0648989321/ Poem mentioned: The Descent

This is part 2 of a look through the Stages of Faith. In this stage I chat about what happens and how we get to stage 4, The Inner Journey.  This stage has also been coined as the deconstruction phase. If you have never heard about deconstruction put forward as a normal stage in your spiritual growth, this (and others in this series) are a must listen. Main text: The Critical Journey https://www.amazon.com.au/Critical-Journey-Stages-Life-Faith-ebook/dp/B00UZDO9C2 Resources Mentioned:  Brad Jersak's Book. Out of the Embers  https://www.amazon.com.au/Out-Embers-Faith-After-Deconstruction/dp/1641238887 Brian McLaren: https://www.amazon.com/Faith-After-Doubt-Beliefs-Stopped/dp/1250828376/ Keith Giles Books: https://www.amazon.com.au/s?i=digital-text&rh=p_27%3AGiles%2C+Keith%2C&s=relevancerank&text=Giles%2C+Keith%2C&ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1 Justin and Abi Stumvoll Connected LIfe Podcast Interview: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/112-6-key-phases-of-faith/id1447545040?i=1000510141274 My Poetry book: The Wrestle https://www.amazon.com/Wrestle-Poems-Divine-Disappointment-Discovery/dp/0648989321/

One of the most helpful frameworks to grasp on your faith journey is to understand that it naturally happens in stages. Healthy faith matures beyond birth and should really blossom beyond it's troubling teen equivalent. In this chat I present and explain the 6 stages described in The Critical Journey book.  This is a teaching I have found INCREDIBLY helpful, particularly as I went through a years of deconstruction and doubt. In this chat I give an overview of the six stages present the first three stages in more details. Watch it on video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAJDHit6H2A RESOURCES Book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Critical-Journey-Stages-Faith-Second/dp/1879215497

What is your capacity for joy and why does it matter in healing and recovery? In this chat I explore some of the amazing work of Dr Jim Wilder and others from the Lifemodel.  We consider safe and secure bonding as a primary factor in thriving in life. I talk about the BEEPS model of addiction and how we create pseudo joy in our life. I end the chat with walking you through and IMMANUEL moment.  A beautiful practice for cultivating more joy and emotional regulation. Watch this on youtube: https://youtu.be/UadhsBVNhqA Resource mentioned: LifeModel website: http://lifemodel.org/ Living from the heart Jesus gave you BOOK: https://www.amazon.com.au/Living-Heart-Jesus-Gave-You/dp/193562914X Immanuel Approach: https://www.immanuelapproach.com/ Immanuel Focused training *Recommended* : https://immanuelfocusedtraining.com/events/ my site: www.davidtensen.com

A final instalment on 3 chats on how our dysfunctional upbringing can play out in church life. We explore patterns and behaviours in these 5 scenarios: The Church Terrified The Church Compulsive The Church Seen, but Not Heard  The Church Disconnected  The Church in Denial On Youtube here: https://youtu.be/NavV6n-5JvE Chart: https://www.dropbox.com/s/5y4ix0xhisffiww/church%20family%20patterns.pdf?dl=0 Book mentioned: https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Your-Family-Tree-Healing/dp/0802476740 My website: www.davidtensen.com

As a continuation on the topic and response to Ep 11, I elaborate on the roles people play out in church communities. This list isn't exclusive and you may have heard the roles/archetypes in different ways but the outworking of them can be similar. Roles mentioned: Overly Responsible Member Acting Out Member Mascot Member Adjusting Member I also touch on church cultures, using Hillsong's ability to attract many volunteers, as an example. Find this on video at: https://youtu.be/bd_EK62k72k Resource: Book mentioned: https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Your-Family-Tree-Healing/dp/0802476740 Check out Ep 11. 

Research suggests there is a really big connection between your family of origin experience and the kind of worship / church service style you prefer. In this walk-and-talk I share specifically how the the DON'T FEEL and DON'T THINK rules of a dysfunctional home play out in charismatic and conservative evangelical church experiences. I also discuss my experiences with people who return from Bethel's School of Supernatural Ministry internships. Find this on video at: https://www.youtube.com/@DavidTensen/videos NOTES: Book mentioned: https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Your-Family-Tree-Healing/dp/0802476740 Chart from book: https://www.dropbox.com/s/95lz8nlawpzk8su/from%20Secrets%20of%20Your%20Family%20tree.JPG?dl=0 *note, I couldn't remember the TRUST part of the chart but you can fill in the blanks, I'm sure.

I have had plenty of people shake their head at me saying "I don't know why you engage with some of the commentary you get on socials. I couldn't do it."   Well, it's not by accident or because I'm looking for a fight.  But I am doing my best to enter constructive civil dialogue. Find this filmed on Youtube too at https://www.youtube.com/@DavidTensen Book mentioned by Os Guinness: https://www.amazon.com/Case-Civility-Why-Future-Depends/dp/0061353434

Part 2 of a chat on the topic. Watch it on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DavidTensen Book referenced: https://www.amazon.com/Hunting-Magic-Eels-Recovering-Enchanted/dp/1506464653

A brief chat on how reading people like Richard Rohr and Brennan Manning opened my eyes to the gifts of brokenness. A stark contrast to what I had experience in the predominant messages of my early pentecostal-based teens and 20s.

Find this on the Youtube  here: https://www.youtube.com/@DavidTensen ..... Trauma Informed Church Podcast mentioned: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4rGRBJ32rtBcx7JcgLBsYF?si=57882e6a97464b12 ..... Find David on FB and Insta and his blog www.davidtensen.com

This is part 2 of a 2 part chat walk where I give a summary of a research and experience driven workshop I used to teach on the complexity of being a church worker. In this episode we cover the complexity around CLAN / KIN and COMPANY.  audio here: https://anchor.fm/david-tensen

This is part 1 of a 2 part chat walk where I give a summary of a research and experience driven workshop I used to teach on the complexity of being a church worker. In this episode we cover the complexity around CALLING and COMMUNITY.

In this chat I discuss something that has helped me walk through church-based wounding.

I have three children. Two teens and a tween.  What has changed in my parenting and what do I want for my kids?  I talk about salvation, sex and youth group under a different paradigm.

Responses to questions and comments on social media.  *note:  at 17:50min I meant to say 'restorative' not retributive yes... the cicadas are loud... summer in SE Queensland  Article's mentioned https://bradjersak.com/beyond-hopeful... George Macdonald https://www.ccel.org/ccel/macdonald/u...  My links  Insta @david_tensen Fb /davidtensen Web davidtensen.com

An open response to those who demand I change my LGBTQ+ affirming stance too  An open chat about recent FB confessions, comments and conversations.  I cover topics like popular/ common evangelical and pentecostal theology pertaining to salvation and hell. I also speak openly about social media boundaries, recent LGBTQ+ questions and other things.  This was going to be a few tiny videos for instagram stories but I just kept talking 🤣  Thanks to all those who watched this already and reached out with the 'me too's and 'thank yous'