Dare 2 Date

A question I am asked all the time is how did I decide to run singles events and become a Dating/Relationship Coach.

In this week's podcast, I share my personal story about why I started Dare2Date.

In this week's podcast, I interview Lauren Smith from  New Jersey in America about Mindful Dating. Lauren shares with us:

Lauren is an author, speaker, and host of the Date in Peace Podcast. Lauren combines her own personal success story with her professional mindfulness training, to empower singles to ditch the dating struggle and claim the loving relationship they so deeply deserve.

You can find Lauren on:

Instagram - @mettadate

Website - https://www.mettadatestudio.com

Combining her own personal success story with her professional mindfulness training, Lauren empowers singles to ditch the dating struggle and claim the loving relationship they so deeply deserve.

Last week I had a radio interview where I was asked a question that came from a reddit feed where a woman said how she tested men on dates to make sure they were suitable. She would meet them at a place where you BBQ'd your dinner and also shucked oysters. She felt that this was a great test to see how they dealt with doing something outside of the square. Also that shucking oysters is challenging and felt that it is a good test of the person's character to see how they respond.

In the radio interview, I was asked if this was a good test or not (find out my answer in this podcast).

This got me thinking about how do you make sure the person you date is right for you? 

Should you look for red, green, or beige flags on your date? Or is there a specific test that will guarantee you don't end up with another person who wastes your valuable time?

Let's face it you don't want another narcissistic, user or unavailable single.

In this week's podcast, I let you know what my answer was to the radio interview as well as answer these questions for you.

In this week's podcast, I am talking about having a broken picker!

What does this mean?

It means you keep dating the wrong type of people for you. You might think that they look different on the outside, and have different personalities but underneath all of that, they have the same behaviour as your ex.

Or you just have a habit of picking and being attracted to people who aren't good for you or want the same thing that you do.

Maybe you keep dating people who:

Maybe you think if only someone could choose for you, you could get the relationship you have always wanted.

I take a closer look at what will work to get you that relationship!

Time for another success story to give you hope that yours is on the way! There really isn't anything better than hearing someone's story who has been where you have been.

In this podcast, I talk to Donna Maree, who has a wonderful love story and is married to her soulmate. 

Before meeting him, Donna told me that she dated every disaster in Perth, Melbourne and overseas (slight exaggeration, but you get the picture, right)!

I ask Donna:

1. How did they meet?

2. How she got over all her dating disasters.

3. What type of ‘work’ did she need to do on herself to get the relationship she had always wanted?

4. And so much more. 

In this week's podcast, I am talking about what you can do to move from emotional fatigue in your dating life.

Dating can be full of people who:

You will experience:

Often there are no social ramifications for bad behaviour as there would be in a real-life situation.

I talk about what you can do to go from being a victim of your circumstances to changing the outcome.

So you can translate your matches into real-life dates. 

There are so many dating horror stories out there that it is easy to feel that it is impossible to meet someone you like let alone are able to fall in love with. I have decided to do a series of real-life love stories to help you see what is possible for you. Because there is nothing like hearing a love story from someone who is in a similar position as you are to see what is possible. The love stories will be sprinkled in with my regular podcast.

You are in for a treat in this week's podcast.

I am interviewing Becca Maxwell from Do Divorce Right about how she found love after divorce. Becca had divorced in her 40s, had two young children and lived in Asia at the time. She couldn't see how it would be possible to date let alone find love.

Today Becca is in a beautiful relationship with a man she adores and who adores her. They have created a wonderful blended family where her children adore her partner and his children love her.

I ask Becca:

1. How did they meet?

2. How she was able to open her heart up after the divorce?

3. What type of ‘work’ did she need to do on herself to get the relationship she had always wanted? 

4. When they introduced their children to each other?

4. How they were able to manage the blended family?

You can find Becca on:

The last couple of years of COVID has been tough for single people. I am sure you have asked yourself if 2023 be any better.

I have good news for you the majority of the dating trends and predictions for 2023 are positive!

Singles are entering 2023 with possibility and positivity - YAY!

A trend is something that is -

The general direction that something is developing or changing. or

The fashion.

 The trends and predictions are based on a significant amount of data.

Listen to this week's podcast to find out what to expect. 

You aren't alone! Did you know that:

The question I was asked so many times over the past fear weeks is:

I’m newly single and am nervous about trying internet dating as I’ve never done it. What tips can you give me?

There are so many tips I can give you that I’m not sure where to start!

Maybe you keep hearing from friends and everyone else that dating is horrific or it's a jungle out there. 

In this week's podcast, I will give you practical tips so you know what to do and how to have fun in the process.

If you have been single for a while, the podcast may give you a fresh perspective. 

The question I am often asked is: 

I am smart and successful. I have achieved results in my life but I’m not getting the same results when it comes to love and relationships. Why can't I get the same success in my love life?

This is a question I am asked all the time. Now if you asked me this in a coaching session I would take a deep dive and look at exactly what is happening in your life and why this is the case because of course everyone's situation isn't the same.

In this week's podcast, I’m unable to do that. So, I will answer the question generally with some of the common reasons that it happens.

I will also give you a step-by-step guide for what you can do to change this.

In the podcast, I ask some reflection questions. In case you didn't manage to write them all down, here they are:

As the year comes to an end, it is time to take a step back and reflect on the year you have lived. Let’s look at what happened in your life and what you did to achieve that.

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for abundance.

What do you want to happen when it comes to love in your life?

I have just come back from an overseas trip to India/Singapore. It was delightful to be able to go overseas again and one of the best parts of travelling is the conversations that you have along the way.

As a Dating/Relationship Coach, people open up to me with their love stories, their heartaches and everything in between and this trip was no different.

While I was in Hyderabad I met a 71 lady who told me told me her sad story and unfortunately it is one I hear all too often.  In this week's podcast, I talk about her story and how you can make sure that her story doesn't become your story.

This weeks podcast is for you if you are waiting and hoping to meet someone and it hasn't happened for you.

Are you single and don't want to be? Are you getting frustrated that you just aren't getting the results that you want when it comes to meeting someone you like.

In this week's podcast , I give you some insight into what could be getting in the way of your own success and how to change that.

The reality is you are not given the desire for love without the capacity to make it happen.

The latest trend is manifesting and everyone is talking about it. They have even come up with new terminology  - ‘manifest-dating’.

On TikTok any videos that have the hashtag, #manifestation have received 20.2 billion views. Yep, you heard right 20.2 billion views!  That is an enormous amount of views!

You may hear the word manifesting and feel like it sounds woo-woo. Yet you only have to look at the 20.2 billion views to see that people are into it. 

According to the dating app Badoo – who can up with the term manifest-dating – there have been more than a quarter of singles who have already tried manifest-dating and then there are almost two-thirds who want to try it.

Why is manifest-dating so popular? It is because dating can feel so tough nowadays and daters are looking for how to change that. They want answers!

More research from Badoo found that 96% of daters struggle with negative thoughts, nerves, and self-sabotage when it comes to dating and love. The research found that the most common worry for 38% of singles was doubting that their date is interested in them.

The good news is that Badoo found that 74% of people who have tried manifest-dating have become luckier in love as a result. 

In this week's podcast, I explore the world of manifest dating and how it can work for you.

Is your biggest fear walking up to someone and being rejected?

Does the fear of rejection stop you from taking action to meet someone?

If you have answered yes, this week's podcast is for you!

I am sure you have heard the cliche advice, 'Don't take it Personally' but how do you do that when it feels personal?

Listen to find out the way to deal with rejection and get the results that you deserve!

An article by Psychologist Greg Matos has gone viral. You will see it everywhere! In the article, Greg talks about the rise of the Lonely Single Man and three broad relationship trends.

He starts the article by saying that younger and middle-aged men are the loneliest they’ve been in generations. That over the last 30 years, men have become part of the larger group of the growing number of long-term single people. The problem is that research has found that men are generally happier and healthier when they are in a relationship than being single.  

He then discusses the 3 reasons why.

In today's podcast, I talk about the article. Then I discuss what men and women can do to get success in the dating world rather than increase their loneliness. 

Ghosting is a modern phenomenon! You may be lucky enough not to have never been ghosted and wondering what it is! It is when someone you have been chatting to on an app, dating or in a relationship with disappears from your life. This could be after chatting online, a date, months or years!

People have been ending relationships badly since the beginning of time but it has become so much easier on mobile phones and dating apps have made this so much easier. Ghosting people you barely know and who aren’t part of your daily life is easy to do without facing or seeing the effects.

I have been collecting the survey results of What Singles Think. In the survey, I asked lots of questions and three specific questions on ghosting.

In this week's podcast, you will find out what 335 singles thought about ghosting.

As a coach for men and women, I talk about how ghosting on dating apps is causing people to miss out on amazing singles. As well as how to date without ghosting and how to deal with ghosting.

Do you want to meet someone and feel something you haven’t felt before? Are you looking for that wonderful spark and to meet your soul mate?

It’s natural to look for that wonderful feeling. However, basing who you chose to be with solely on chemistry can be a recipe for disaster rather than happiness.

Let me explain why.

What can happen is you are attracted to people due to unresolved issues within you then you go on to recreate those very issues in your relationships.

This can happen from one failed relationship or even a series of failed relationships. Or it can come from childhood without you even realising it.

In this week's podcast, I explain what a Wound Mate is, and why it initially feels so good but doesn't stay that way.

I also talk about how you can break this pattern to choose a healthy relationship instead.

Do you think you will just meet someone and just know they are the one because you are pre-destined to meet? That you will click, feel chemistry or that elusive spark?

Do you base your decision on who you will date purely on physical attraction?

Dating apps have made dating more superficial than ever before but it takes so much more to fall in love. 

Did you know that there are four parts/steps to falling into love and physical attraction is only one part of that?

With approximately 50% of first marriages ending in divorce, it helps to know what they are. It is also important to follow the same steps to keep your relationship strong and healthy.

In this week's podcast, you will take a look at what it takes to fall in love and keep your love alive.

You're single and want to meet someone and have an amazing relationship.

But how do you guarantee that it will be a good relationship?

What should you look for and what should you do why you are waiting to meet the right person for you?

In this week's podcast, I tell you what research of 11,196 couples found were the three things to look for that make you much more likely to have a wonderful, healthy relationship.

I came across a meme on Instagram that said:

Stop telling people that no one will love them until they love themselves. Stop planting the idea in people's brains that they are unworthy of love because of their own struggles.

In this week's podcast, I talk about whether you need to love yourself to find love.

I recently saw a meme with a green stagnant swimming pool with the heading, 'The Dating Pool' and the comment missing the sharks!

I regularly see memes like these talking about how bad the dating pool is. However, is it?

In this week's podcast, I give you the answer as well as the top 6 ways of thinking that could be keeping you single.

It doesn't matter where you meet someone you will always need to have a conversation with them.

Did you know that that conversation can either get you a date or guarantee you don't see the person again?

In this week's podcast, I am talking about what works and what doesn't. This is based on over a decade of experience seeing singles meet in action.

I am sure you have heard of the gender pay gap and gender equality but have you heard of the Romance Gap? It’s like the pay gap but for your love life! The dating app bumble commissioned a survey with interesting results. They found that 86% believed that equality was important in dating and relationships. However, 74% of respondents said there were different expectations and expected behaviour depending on your gender when it comes to relationships.

They found that traditional gender roles and expectations are still very present, and even, accepted in dating. In fact, they found that some of the actions we feel are romantic for men are seen as negative/bad when women do them.

For example, it is seen as passionate when a man says he loves you after a month but needy if a woman does the same. When a guy doesn’t text, he is seen as playing it cool but when a woman doesn’t text back she is playing hard to get.

In this week’s podcast, I discuss what they found and what the solution is.

Everyone I talk to wants to meet someone they like and someone they feel something they have never felt before.  They want to meet someone with who they have that wonderful, mysterious spark of attraction. Hoping when they follow that intense attraction for the other person that they will be lucky enough to find someone who is also compatible, who has a good character and who they can trust.

However, I see too many single people looking for a solid type of love from someone who is simply unable to give it to them.

There is a Buddhist saying - 'If you meet someone and your heart pounds, your hands shake and your knees go weak - that's not the one! When you meet your soulmate you will feel calm, no anxiety, no agitation!

In this week's podcast, I talk about why that initial attraction is no guarantee that your relationship will work out. I also talk about why the initial attraction can die out for one person and how to avoid this. 

Do you hate being single and want to get results.

Singles tell me every day just how frustrated they are. 

Being a Dating/Relationship Coach I always ask them what they are doing about meeting someone!  

They often answer ‘Not much’ and add ‘it doesn’t work so why bother!’

Or for others, they are exhausted from spending a lot of time on apps swiping obsessively. Yet when I look at what they are doing they don’t send messages or arrange any dates.

The reality is that this is the reason why way too many singles are not getting results on dating apps.  They are doing dating apps by not doing them!

Spoiler alert, if you don’t do anything you are going to stay single. Dating, just like anything else in life it takes some type of effort on your part.  Laziness doesn’t get results nor does avoiding it!

Do you Hate Being Single But......

Okay maybe you are a hopeless romantic and you are hanging out for that rare love story where you meet serendipitously (found by some miraculous chance) as it is your destiny. But, I see way too many singles who have waited for a decade and nothing has happened. The reality is that you can’t count on that chance meeting. What you can count on is putting some real effort into getting results on dating apps

Having your shit together will instantly make you more attractive to the type of person you want to meet! 

This isn't just based on my opinion, it is based on research and data from all the major dating platforms/apps.

Back in 2019 singles rated physical attractiveness as the thing they most wanted in a partner, yet in 2022 only 70% did.

In 2022, singles are looking for people who want to be the best versions of themselves and put more importance on stability and security.

I tell you more in this week's podcast.

This week I talk about how women don't owe you pretty. I will also talk about why safety matters to women and why approaching women you don't know calling them pretty doesn't work as it does in the movies!

Men and women are equal but the reality is that they think and act completely different in ALL areas of their life, particularly dating! Those differences are what gets in the way of success.

Both men and women put themselves out there holding to be loved, accepted and validated. However, in the superficial world of dating, they often get the opposite - rejection, disappointment or crappy relationships that even border on abusive!

Maybe it makes you feel like you need to kill, change, squish or minimize who you are to be wanted!

That doesn't work, in fact, it leads to more unhappiness and losing who you are just to be wanted by someone else.

In this podcast, I will have the conversation about what you can do and how you can feel good about yourself.

At the moment in an uncertain world where you still want to meet someone, online dating is a good option. 1/3 of all Australians and around 50% of Americans meet and marry someone they met online.

The problem is that you have heard all the horror stories about online dating and it scares you.

How do you keep yourself safe from dating scams and even date rape?

In this week's podcast, I give you the simple tips that will keep you safe and allow you to enjoy online dating without being scared that you will be another terrible statistic.

If you have come out of a string of failed relationships, you might not be able to trust yourself anymore.   

Maybe you have a habit of picking someone who isn't over their ex, someone who doesn't want the same type of commitment that you do or worst of all people who cheat on you.  You may want to meet someone but don't trust yourself not to choose another loser.  

After a string of failed relationships, it is hard to trust your own judgement! So, you think what if someone could just choose someone for me, surely then it would work out. 

But you only have to watch an episode of MAFS to see that isn't always the case as you may be stuck in the trap of self-sabotaging your own happiness.

In this week’s podcast, I talk about how self-sabotage can get in the way of your happiness even when you meet the right person.

I was excited to do my 1st Podcast for 2022 and it was the perfect day for it - National Ditch the New Year's Resolution Day! It seems the 17th day of the new year is the day people decide to ditch their new year's resolutions. You know they decide to ditch the torturous diets and horrible exercise regimes and celebrate with an extra glass of wine!

Did you set a new year's resolution to find love in 2022 and already feel a bit disappointed with how things are going? Or have you decided you want this year to be different but it seems the same as any other year?

If you have answered yes, then this podcast is for you!

'Each day is a blank page in the diary of life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.

Every day, you're given a chance to determine what the words will say and how the story will unfold. The more joyful and rewarding you make each page, the more amazing each chapter will be.

And I hope you turn the story of this whole year into a masterpiece.' - Douglas Pagels

This week's podcast is for the ladies out there, especially those who are sick and tired of wasting time on men who don't want to commit or who change their minds about being in a relationship. 

I have the bigger conversation about sex when to have it, does it matter and what are the odds of a one-night stand turning into more. 

I also talk about what the 10 Date Rule is, as well as the pros can cons of the 10 Date Rule.  

In this week's podcast, I give you the answers.

Single? How do you survive and thrive in the lead up to Christmas and the actual day?

Expectations run high, right?

There is stress related to money,  family, overspending and loneliness. In fact, 1 in 5 feel lonely and almost 50% dread Christmas. All these stresses can remain hidden the rest of the year but are in your face during the Christmas period.

Being single can be tough at any of of the year but it can be worse at Christmas when it can feel like an ordeal you need to survive!

It is all too easy to look around you and see happy families/couples EVERYWHERE!  You see it on TV - those cheesy Christmas movies with people with picture-perfect lives, hear about it on the radio,  billboards and as you go about daily life. It can bring up all sorts of regrets, especially if you are divorced and not part of the happy family that you had always imagined you would be.

In this podcast, I give you practical tips to survive and even thrive!

Are you stuck in the Instant Trap and is that preventing you from being successful in meeting the right person for you?

We live in an age where things happen instantly! You can send a message to someone on the other side of the world in real-time, you can have a photo instantly, download the novel you want to read instantly without leaving your house, there's instant coffee, ready-made meals - you don't have to wait for anything.

We live in an age of instant results and expect the same when it comes to meeting the right person.

In this week's podcast, I am talking about how to avoid the instant trap as well as not fall into the scarcity trap.

Most people have heard of burnout – the term was originally related to work and happened when people felt exhausted and disinterested in work and often life in general.

What is dating burnout? Pretty much the same as regular burnout – you can’t bring yourself to get ready for yet another date, you experience a lack of interest in dating overall, you feel exhausted and you have lost hope of meeting anyone remotely decent.

Dating has significantly changed in the naughties – we have more access to singles through different means, yet it has never been harder to meet ‘the one’ or someone we at least want to date. Now because there appears to be so many options and singles available it is more depressing when you don’t find the relationship you are looking for.

In the age of Tinder and internet dating, dating really can feel like a 2nd job. Dating apps can be accessed through your mobile phone so the whole dating world is EVER present.

Now 2 things can happen at this stage:

The frustration you feel at this point is totally understandable and it is now you are susceptible to dating burnout!

In this weeks podcast, I give you tips to AVOID dating burnout and enjoy dating. 

Both men and women are frustrated with dating just now. In fact, there are wonderful singles who miss each other EVERY SINGLE DAY!

The reality is that men and women approach dating and relationships in a way that doesn't work for the opposite sex.

There are common mistakes that men make and common mistakes that women make. Understanding what they are and how to avoid them is a game-changer when it comes to getting results!

The REAL HONEST TRUTH is that most guys are bad daters as they often don't know what they SHOULD be doing. The guys who are great at dating are often the charmers, the players, the narcissist and the psychopaths and they are the ones you don't want as it is all about them!

In this week's podcast I talk about what you could be doing that is stopping you getting results on your dates and causing you to miss out on the person who could have been PERFECT for YOU.

You are single and want to meet someone! You thought that dating and meeting people would be fun but that's not your reality, is it? Instead of it being fun you are frustrated.

After weeks and weeks and weeks of bad conversations and dates, you feel so much frustration! You feel so disheartened and wonder if it will ever happen. Nothing prepared you for the frustration you would feel.

Why, why, why does it have to be this hard for you, everyone else seems to be meeting people?

You just aren't getting the results or meeting the types of people that you want you.

You know you don't want to settle but not sure how it's ever going to happen, going on what has happened so far.  

It is much easier to focus on other areas of your life like your job, your family or literally anything else!

But as good as they are, they just don't feel the void inside you. You can't help feeling you still want to meet someone.

You are a nice guy/woman why can't they see that. It is that nice guys finish last or that men only want younger women for relationships? You even ask yourself if everyone is too broken to want a real relationship. Or is it just that all the good ones are taken? 

There is one thing I know I see so many singles do that is repelling rather than attracting the opposite sex. Are you guilty of falling into this common trap?

Listen to this week's podcast to find out what it is and how to change it to get the results you deserve!

The most important relationship you have is the relationship that you have with yourself. It sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.

One of my favourite sayings if from the Perks of Being a Wallflower and it is, "We accept the love that we think we deserve!" When you are able to love and accept yourself you will also be able to accept healthy love. 

Self-love, self-acceptance, self-esteem are often given a bad wrap! They are seen as being a moral flaw, selfish, conceited, egotistical or at worst narcissistic! However, the reality is that loving yourself is a basic human necessity and one that will give you a life you enjoy.

In this week's podcast, I give you insight and tips on how to love and accept yourself so that you will allow someone else to. 

Spring is the time for new possibilities.

It’s been a wet, cold winter and finally, it’s spring. Time to look at what is possible and clean up what isn't working ready for summer. Spring is the perfect time to look at what is and isn’t working for you when it comes to life, dating and love. It is time for a fresh perspective before summer. Oh and whatever you plant now will get the chance to grow by summer!

Did you know the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and the next best time is now? 

This is the time you spring clean as spring sheds light on what you couldn't see in the dark, cold winter. The sunlight also gives you the motivation to do it. So it's time to spring clean your dating and love life and in this week's podcast, I let you know how with five practical tips.

1. Make space 

2. Clear Away the negative, just like you might get rid of the weeds in the garden.

3. Fresh Mindset - putting in the nutrients into the soil so the right plants will grow.

4. Fresh look and new profiles

5. Acknowledge how awesome YOU are for doing all the hard work!

Are getting in the way of your own happiness when it comes to life, dating and relationships? When you read my question you might dismiss it, thinking why would anyone do THAT!?

But I want you to think about it for a moment. Do you avoid doing things because they are too hard, because you may fail or get caught up thinking what's the point as things haven't worked out before?

So as much as you might want something or something to happen you don't do anything about it!

This can happen in all areas of your life and not just in relationships.

But let's look at dating - maybe you don't date because it is too hard, or you have been rejected too many times so what is the point. 

Or you might have had the person you loved the most in the whole world leave you or betray you and you are scared that it will happen again.

So as much as you want to meet someone the thought of being rejected again scares you. You might stop dating altogether, date unavailable singles or push people away.

When these types of things have happened to you then you start to protect yourself from it happening again.

But instead of protecting yourself are you self-sabotaging your own happiness? Sabotage means deliberately damaging, destroying or obstructing your own happiness! When you see it written that way it would seem a crazy thing to do but it happens more often than you think.

In this weeks' podcast, I talk about why you may be getting stuck in the pattern of self-sabotage as well as how to break it so you can have the happiness you deserve.

In this week's podcast, I talk about the myth that if you just met the right person everything would just fall into place. As well as how having the mindset that you are 'unlucky' in love is making that a reality!

This podcast will teach you two things:

Great relationships aren’t delivered to you by cupid or the love fairies. The reality is that they are created by two very imperfect humans who have insecurities, baggage, past experiences and yep – flaws!

Conflict is Inevitable even in healthy relationships! No matter who you chose to be with you need to be able to communicate what you want and need, as well as being able to listen to what they want and need!

After listening to this week's podcast you will learn how to change YOUR luck.

Like it or not text messaging is a HUGE part of how you date in the 21st century. It's a pretty new skill that you HAVE to have to get results.

If you want to be successful in getting a first, second or third date you need to have good texting skills otherwise you will miss out on dating the person you want. Especially when it comes to online dating, where it is your first ever conversation.

When you text, you don't get to see how the other person feels about what you are saying. You don't get the chance to see if they are smiling or offended like you would in person! Texting is SO open to misinterpretation and is one of the biggest reasons you could be missing out on meeting the person who is right for YOU.

As a Relationship Coach for men and women, I see how simple mistakes from both sexes STOP them from getting dates. I see how the assumptions they make get in the way of results.

Men and women tend to communicate differently by text message and I see this every day when I see the text message they send and can instantly tell why they are missing the mark.

Men often treat messages as outcome-based and transactional. They will use them to communicate a set outcome like - 'Let's meet for dinner at the Queens at 7 pm. Rather than having a conversation to get the lady, they are talking to feel comfortable enough to meet them.

Women on the other hand want to get to know someone a little, to feel safe and comfortable and do this via a text message conversation.

Women get frustrated, thinking if a guy was really interested in them, he would make the effort to be interested when he is talking to her via text.

The problem is men aren't always super great at messaging and ladies you miss out on quality guys who can't message - which is a high percentage of them!

In this week's podcast the ladies will find out how to stop doing this and the men will find out easy-peasy ways to text to get results!

Win-win, right?

Do you know what you want in a relationship? Do you know what you want to feel or are you so used to putting everyone else's needs first?

Today I want to talk to all the nice people out there, those who are busy making everyone else happy but who don't get their needs met.

Maybe, that is ok to start with but as time goes on your resentment grows because all that you give to others doesn't come back to you.

How do you change this without being a b..tch or an ar...ole.

In this week's podcast, I give you the answer as well as a challenge.

I had to record this podcast four times to get it right. It can feel tough talking to yourself on a podcast to explain how men and women are going about meeting the opposite sex that isn't working for them.

I see wonderful men and women miss each other because of how they approach dating and talking to the opposite sex.

Men and women want the same things but miss each other because they don't understand how the opposite sex thinks and acts.

Men and women are equal but different - like chalk and cheese!

As a Dating/Relationship Coach for men and women, I get to see firsthand and it still sometimes blows me away just how different we are in how we think. 

Men and women want the same outcome - to meet someone that feels good to be around, but they go about it in a completely different way. As a result, they miss out on the very thing and person that they want.

In this week's podcast, I act as a translator so you can both understand how the opposite thinks. This is so important because it will STOP you from missing out on meeting the type of singles that will make you happy.

It will give both men and women insight into what works and there are nuggets of gold this week that will change your life - ha I know a  big call but it is true.

There is one thing that I hear EVERY - SINGLE - DAY from single people no matter how old they are. 

I hear it from 20-year-olds, 30-year-olds, 40-year-olds, 50-year-olds, 60-year-olds and 70-year-olds.  

This one thing is often a way of thinking that is keeping them single  

Can you guess what it is?  

Listen to the Podcast to find out what it is and how to change it.

Have you heard that you need to love yourself to find love? Is this fact or fiction? True or false? You might have heard about self-love, self-compassion, self-esteem, self-worth and self-compassion.

What do they mean? Can you find the right relationship without them? 

Or if you love yourself will you end up being a narcissist?

In this week's Podcast, I answer these questions and more as well as tell you the 'how'.

You hear that you need to be vulnerable, that you just need to open your heart and that you should be yourself! This is all generic, cliche advice that you will find out there that isn't useful unless you know what it means! 

You may have heard that you need to be vulnerable but what does that even mean and what is it? 

People mistake oversharing for vulnerability or they find it easy to sleep with someone but not ask what the relationship is. 

In this week's podcast, I talk about vulnerability in dating. 

I let you know what it really is and how to use it to get a 2nd date or success at speed dating.

This episode focuses on the early days of dating and how to be vulnerable to get a 2nd date or even a match at speed dating.

You didn't think it would be this hard to find someone you liked. It's left you thinking that all the good ones are taken and that there simply aren't any simples out there. I hear you and

Maybe your friends have told you that you are too fussy, too picky and you need to settle for what is available.

I don't believe that you should EVER settle as research has proven that the person you chose to be in a relationship with has the biggest impact on your life.

If you chose the right “type” of person they will support you, have your back and inspire you to be a better version of yourself. They will keep you laughing along the way, help you see what’s important, stick to your goals, keep you on track as well as not take yourself too seriously. However, when you chose the wrong 'type' of person it can grind you down until you are barely visible.

In this week's podcast, I talk about what can be holding you back from finding that person, because I can tell you that there are plenty of good singles out there and the good ones aren't all taken.

Socials, Social Media (SM) is a way of being connected with friends, family and business contacts it can be amazing and you can get the best out of it. However, you can fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others and end up feeling despair.

Did you know that people spend an average of two hours per day on social media! 

That's almost a 5th of your waking day!

Yet couples only spent an average of 10 minutes a day talking to get other and then it is often about their to-do-lists or children.

Singles often spend more time on socials than with real people.

In this week's podcast, I talk about how to get the best out of socials and the traps to avoid so you can feel good about yourself and your relationships.

Should emotional consent be talked about in the same way as physical consent when dating new people? 

Often singles meet someone they like and go with the flow without saying where they want things to end up. They worry that if they push the issue, they’ll jinx it and drive the other person away. 

They go on dates and have sex without having ‘the’ conversation. It may go well for a while, then the other person ghosts or drops them because the grass might be greener with someone else they just matched with. 

A certain level of trust and respect gets broken each time and gives birth to a whole world of pain in the modern dating world. 

In this podcast, I talk about whether the answer is emotional consent.

Is it OK to approach women is one of the most common questions I am asked by men?

Men want to meet women in the real world but don't want to come across as creepy and worry about being rejected.

In this week's podcast I answer this question as well as give you some valuable tips.

In 2021 there are more ways to meet singles than at any other time. Yet, there it's never felt harder! 

You hear the horror dating app stories in the media, as well as dating horror stories from everyone around you. Venting about them makes you feel better!

Is it possible to actually find a relationship in 2021 without having to settle?

The answer is a huge YES! 

In this week's podcast, I tell you Sally and Julie's story of how got results so YOU can too!

How do you know the difference between love-bombing and the real thing? 

In this week's podcast, I give you the answer so you don't fall victim to one. The purpose of this podcast is to make you aware of toxic behaviour, rather than hyper-focused on what could go wrong. Becoming the victim of love bombing can leave damage that will have a lasting impact. 

It is much easier to recognise the difference rather than have to heal after a toxic relationship.

I will give you 6 easy steps to stop the difference between a lover. bomber and someone who is genuine.

Dating can be tough and it can feel hard to meet someone who you like and who likes you back. If you have experienced people ghosting you, had a string of horror dates or been dating people where you just don’t know where you stand then it is easy to get excited when you finally meet someone who shows they care!

For a minute I want you to imagine how it would feel to meet someone who gives you all the attention, affection, appreciation and love you have always wanted.

They give you flowers, compliments and want to be with you all the time.

It would feel amazing right? Like all your dreams have finally come true.

So much so that you overlook the red flags and the things that just don’t feel right. You feel like it is hard to meet someone so why would you pass this up.

But what if that attention was toxic instead of being real love?

You could be experiencing love bombing instead of the real thing.

Communication is the foundation of every healthy relationship including dating, love, family friends and work. Yet with the people, we are the closest to, we assume that they will know us well and will automatically understand what we want and what we need from them. When that doesn't happen you get disappointed and it can build resentment in your close relationships.

When you first click with someone, they do get you and it happens easily. It feels amazing to just click with them and have someone finally gets you! You feel heard, seen and understood. It generally happens without any effort.

You will finish each other sentences, do anything to make each other happy and feel you 'get' each other and easily meet each other's needs.

Then life gets in the way and those things fall away.  

This is the time when communication issues come up. You may hear yourself saying - 'If they really cared they would have .......', 'If they loved me they wouldn't have acted that way'.

You expect that if they really cared they would know what you need and end up feeling resentful when they don't.

In this podcast, I talk about how that happens and how to communicate so you are heard.

I am sure you have heard that nice guys finish last. Is this true or is this a myth?

You might say that you see the evidence of this every S.I.N.G.L.E DAY with women choosing to be with the arsehole or bad guy. The one who gives her crumbs and treats her badly. You can instantly spot he isn't a good guy, so why can't she?

In this podcast, I give you the answer as well as what women really want in a man and how you can win her over.

Honesty bombing is the new black and the new emerging dating trend.

It's the dating trend that's good news for singles.

Are you thinking about getting back out there at events or going online, yet scared that people will tell lies about who they are?

You are not alone, it is a HUGE concern for singles out there.

In this week's podcast, I talk about honesty and dating. 

I also talk about the 10 Common Lies Singles tell and how to spot them.

The reality is in a world that has been interrupted by COVID singles don't want to waste any more time!

Singles are over been lied to and game playing when it comes to dating, and want honesty! 

Rather than playing the pre-pandemic dating game of trying to present yourself in the best possible way and hiding your baggage, singles are being honest from the start. Why? Well, no one wants to waste any more time. They can't be bothered trying to create that perfect persona. 

Being transparent about who you are and what you want is the way forward. 

Time to be honest, real and authentic as you will get much better results when you do.

First impressions matter, especially in the competitive dating environment. You only get one chance to make a first impression in the superficial world of dating! First impressions matter and you have a short amount of time to make yours. 

You want to make a good impression but you don't want to lead anyone on, give them the wrong idea or even worse hurt them.  You want to make the most of your time and opportunities as you feel you don't want to waste any more of your. precious time. 

So how you make that killer first impression and be remembered for all the right reasons? 

This Podcast will tell how! You will found out why first impressions are crucial as well as how to make that first impression that gets you the results you deserve!

Have you ever been told that you need to write a list of what you want in a relationship? You know a bit like a shopping list, except for a person! I am sure everyone wishes it was that easy! It is common advice to tell you to write a list to make sure you find the right person.  In this video, I tell why that 'traditional;' list doesn't work when you are looking to find the one!

When someone you love breakups with you it is one of the most painful experiences you can go through. You might not be able to eat, sleep or function. Your friends and family may be sympathetic for a while but then start to tell you that it happened for a reason, that there are plenty of fish in the sea and you will meet someone better. They mean well, but that advice doesn't help in fact, will often make you feel worse. In this Podcast, I give you advice on how to get through the breakup. 

I see way too many single women waste time on men who are happy to spend time with them but don't ever want to take things any further. The ladies think the guys will see how amazing they are and change their minds. However, they don't and the worst part is that it can take women years to realise this.

Not every man you meet or go out with will want to make you happy (which is a huge red flag). There are many guys who want to enjoy your company without commitment. How can you tell the difference, especially when it feels so good when you are together.

I understand how you feel, after dating people you aren't attracted to it feels good with him someone who you are attracted to. You have told him what you are looking for and hope he is on the same page.

So how do you know?

It is actually simple when you know what to look for.

For me as a coach for men and women, it is easy for me to see the signs and I am going to let you know exactly what to look for so you don't waste your precious time.

This podcast will give you the answer to the question!

I saw a headline that said - can officially put the Fairytale to bed and forget about marrying the Prince and living happily ever after. The article was about Megan and Harry, in this podcast, I am talking about fairytales and happily ever after. How can you see the signs that a relationship will work or won't and how you can create your own fairytale rather than fall into a personal nightmare.

This is the number one question I am asked as a Relationship Coach - 'Where can you meet quality singles?'  Nowadays there are more ways to meet other single people than ever before yet people are more likely to remain single.  

Crazy, right!

In this week's podcast I give you the answer so you can get the relationship that YOU deserve!

Why do women say that they want to meet a great guy, then end up liking the bad boys?

You know they seem to choose the narcissist who only thinks about what’s in it for them, the arsehole who doesn’t care about their feelings or the player who will just play them and leave them hurt.

A bad boy (arsehole, narcissist, player) is a guy who doesn’t care about the women’s needs or wants – it’s all about him and what he wants. He is heartless and the equivalent of a bitch!

Seems crazy to choose people who are going to be bad for you, yet women do it time and time again.

Leaving the nice guy feeling like he is totally out of luck as he just can’t get the girl!

It might seem like a crazy thing to do but there is actually a good reason why women don’t choose the nice guy and I am going to let you know what that is. Oh, and  It is not that the women are choosing to deliberately cause themselves pain.

This podcast will give women the reason why they do this and help men understand what they can do be successful.  b

I love the language we use when we talk about love - we say we fell in love, that we are madly in love or even crazy in love! In the Western world where we spend so much time in our heads, we love the feeling of being out of control and giving ourselves over to something we can't control!

In this week's podcast, I talk about that elusive spark that everyone is looking for. It doesn't matter how young or how old you are, everyone wants to meet someone where they feel something that they haven't felt before.

I talk about what the spark is and some of the common myths that could be stopping you getting the very love you want.

Maybe you have been given the advice that – ‘you will find love when you least expect it’. Or you have heard the cliche? Things are usually a cliche as they happen so often. In this week's podcast, I let you know why people do find love when they least expect it.

As a Relationship Coach, I am always asked this one question I’m often asked is "How on earth did you get started in all this?"

It's a great question and one I answer in my first podcast along with what I do!

I’ve been doing this for over a decade. I’m consumed with empowering singles just like you to be successful in love. I am obsessed with having bigger conversations about love, dating and relationships. The ones that change lives. 

I want to cut through the superficial stuff that just doesn't work.