Believe you ARE a Good Mom with Emily Wardrop

You are a Mom of young kids. Your life is crazy, chaotic, and busy. Everyone is pulling you in a thousand different directions all the time. You never get a break.

Day in and day out (and all through the night!) you are meeting everyone else's needs.

You are nurturing relationships with each one of your children and that takes a lot out of you.

You love your kids fiercely and you are also a person. That needs taking care of.

When and how do you take care of yourself?

My friend and fellow life coach Amanda Louder believes that one way we, as women, and as moms, can take care of ourselves is through sex.

A lot of us have been conditioned to believe that sex is for the man. And that our husbands are just one more person that we need to take care of. But if you look at the sexual differences between men and women, maybe God actually had something different in mind.

Listen in to this episode to learn more.

Amanda Louder is a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach who helps Christian men & women overcome their obstacles to create a more emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically intimate relationship.  She is also the host of the Sex for Saints Podcast that has over 1 Million Downloads.

In addition to being a coach, Amanda is also a wife to Kevin, and mom and step-mom to 5 kids, ranging in ages from 14-23.  In her spare time, she enjoys reading, watching her kids play sports, fishing, and camping.

If you are ready for support in this area, you can contact Amanda through her website or on instagram:

Do you wonder if you or your kids have ADHD and what should you do about it? Brigette is here to answer a lot of those questions for us.

Brigette Little is a Certified Coach and Proud ADHDer
She is the Mom of 6 and Parent of ADHD kids
Avid learner and lover of all things funny and interesting

To learn more from her:

Intuitive Parenting is being your own parenting expert and not having to look to outside sources for answers. You know best how to parent your own children.

Last episode we discussed that our sacred bodies are the user manual for this earth life, today is some specific hows to actually do so.

I have special guest and Intuition Coach, Megan Nicole Windhorst joining me to teach us more about how to tap into our own inner wisdom, heal our childhood wounds, believe in ourselves, reparent, etc. We've got ALL the goods for you today! Including actionable ideas that you can implement right away to start calming your nervous system in order to connect with your own intuitive parenting style.

Megan Windhorst is the owner and CEO of Megan Nicole Coaching LLC.

Megan is an intuition coach and nervous system expert helping women heal and connect deeply to their own inner knowing so that they can follow their soul's calling confidently. Megan is a former school counselor and teacher turned full time online entrepreneur. She holds a master's degree in counseling and a bachelor's degree in education. Megan is a best selling author, certified Reiki Master, certified breath-work facilitator, and an Intuitive.

Get access to all of her incredible offers here:

Satan doesn't have a family or a body.

So he uses ours as his centers for attack.

We frequently talk about how to protect our families with love.

How about our bodies?

Body love is a hot topic right now and I think that is awesome.

Cause our prior cultural body shaming tactic didn't work and actually caused much more harm than good.

You cannot beat yourself up better.

Love and Acceptance is the only way to change.

I am offering a new 8 week coaching package to support you in your journey of self-love, body-love, and transforming into your aligned eternal self both inside and out.

I am the T1D Moms Coach.

Two of my five kids have been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in the past few years and so I love to support other moms with T1D children. Because we do SO much to keep our kids healthy and well, but how much time and energy does that leave for us to take care of ourselves? And if we don't do it, who will?

And, of course, the mental and emotional load of caring for young kids is taxing enough but then add the constant stress, scared, and sad feelings and we've got quite the hot mess of a mom trying to manage her child's diabetes. Not ideal. We need clear minds and bodies ourselves in order to take care of everyone else. So I teach strategies to generate on purpose more feelings of connection, calm, and confidence instead!

So, I've got you Momma!

And today I have an extra special treat for you. Dr OC and I discuss her personal journey being a T1D Mom herself in addition to her pediatric career. And her son is all grown and doing amazing things in the T1D world now also! So it is really fun to be able to learn from her years of experience and "light at the end of the tunnel" perspective.

When I tell you that you ARE a Good Mom, what comes up for you?

All the "yeah buts"

"reasons" why you think that you are not a good mom.

But nothing you can tell me that you did, thought, or felt will convince me that you are anything but a Good Mom.

Why?

Because I know that God Loves and Accepts you.

Just as you ARE!

Even just as you are today.

In your imperfect state making all sorts of mistakes.

And when you can love and accept your flawed self, then and only then can you make improvements.

I promise that this is how it works.

If you don't believe me, just try it!

No matter how old your kids are, the number one LIE that your brain is telling you is that their behavior means that you are a bad mom.

That is just NOT TRUE!

You ARE a Good Mom! No matter how your child is behaving or no matter how they "turn out"!

Just try to believe that with me for a minute.

Your child's behavior does NOT determine whether you are a good mom or not.

What?

It doesn't?

Well then, what does?

How do I know if I'm a good mom?

You just decide right now to believe that you inherently ARE Good.

It's who you Are!

And that doesn't change by what you do or by what your kids are doing.

We all make mistakes but those mistakes do not affect our worth.

Heather Rackham is the face and voice of the Latter-Day Saint Life Coach Directory.

She is also the host of the Latter-Day Life Coaches podcast.

After making such amazing transformations in her own life from coaching, Heather certified as a life coach herself and then decided that one way that she could help the most people get those same transformations is by creating a place where latter-day saints can come searching for a coach in one place. And the directory was born.

In our chat today we dig in deeper to what those personal transformations were for Heather and why it is so awesome to have a coach!

Maybe you already love your life. So what is a coach for, then? Well, what if there is more? It's fun to up-level from good. There doesn't have to be a big problem that we need to fix, but as humans, we are wired to progress and to grow. We crave the need to continually move forward.

We all understand the basic physical maintenance that our bodies need. We go to the doctor and dentist for routine check ups. A life coach does the same for our mental and emotional health.

Listen in for more about that and be sure to check out the directory to find a coach that resonates the most for you.

You ARE Special! and You ARE a Good Mom!!

Are you familiar with Max Lucado's children's book called "You Are Special"?

It's a great book for humans of all ages, actually.

I love love love it!

It's my favorite!!

And that is really saying something cause I love a LOT of children's books.

In this book he tells the story of a little wooden boy named Punchinello who gets lots of bad marks and decides to make that mean that he is a bad Wemmick.

But he meets a friend named Lucia who doesn't have dots or starts, nothing sticks on her!

I won't spoil the whole book for you, but listen in to the episode to learn HOW to Believe you ARE a Good Mom from Max Lucado's book.

And be sure to be the Lucia in your friend's lives by sharing this episode and this podcast.

We don't have to let other people's judgements define who we are!

God made you, you ARE Good!

You are not a mistake. You make mistakes, but that's all part of the plan for our learning and growth.

Through Jesus Christ, we can be make stronger through the repeated mistakes, picking ourselves up, not beating ourselves further down, quickly forgiving ourselves, asking for forgiveness from God and the offended, dust it off, and try again. and again. and again. Through the reps we get stronger! Jesus will help us!

Daily as we turn to God and remember who we ARE we will make the improvements we are yearning for.

You've got this Momma!!!

Our kids want to be heard and understood.

When they talk and we interrupt with corrections, comments, or critiques, they will stop talking to us.

And that would not be good!

So if you want to join me on this journey of getting more present in order to listen for understanding, check out today's podcast!

In our busy world, busy schedules, and busy brains it is really hard to silence the noise and listen.

It is hard to even find the time to be present with our kids and when we finally find the time, they're not in the mood.

So we have to be sure to have our needs met in order to be ready for them when they need us.

This is what we work on in coaching.

Give it a try with your FREE RBC Relationship Boost Call.

Who is your kid that you have the hardest time keeping your cool around? Who pushes your buttons the most? Who knows exactly how to trigger you?

Let's improve your relationship with that sweet kiddo!

God gave you them for a reason!!

There is SO much goodness you can learn from your triggers.

There are glorious opportunities to re-parent yourself, to heal your own childhood wounds.

Let me guide you, it's so Good!

Feeling a little burnt out?

Dr Wendy Schofer generously shares her burn out story with us and gives us tips on how to not burn out in our Motherhood.

If our energy levels come from our thought/feeling combinations, paying attention to what our thoughts and feelings even are gives us half the battle of regaining more precious energy in our busy days.

You are not failing, you are just burnt out from beating yourself up with thoughts of not being enough.

We have to catch those sneaky thoughts, remind ourselves that that they are lies, and redirect to the truth that you ARE a Good Mom!

Wendy Schofer, MD is the straight-talking pediatrician and life coach who specializes in helping parents learn how to raise kids to be healthy at every weight. Life doesn't revolve around portion control and the scale, and neither should our approach to health.

Learn how to love your kids and let them love themselves as they are, while creating lifelong healthy relationships with food, body and self.

www.wendyschofermd.com

Are you having a hard time with your littles and you don't know what to do?

Is life so crazy, chaotic, and you get swept up in the mayhem?

Did you know that you can feel peace amidst the chaos?

And that You have the answers within yourself!

Marielle Melling helps us today with finding answers to our questions. She uses her AWAY framework.

A-Apart, take some time apart from the problem to study and get in-tuned

W-Walk in your child's shoes, try to see things from their point of view

A- Appreciate what's going well

Y-You can do, focus on what's in your control

Marielle shares more of this wisdom live every Wednesday on instagram "Move and Muse"

You can also find her at

Nobody benefits when you're running on empty, and nobody suffers when you take care of yourself.

It's not that you are more important than your kids, it's that you Are important also!

Self care and alone time, my friends, is NOT selfish!

You cannot pour from an empty cup and you must put on your own oxygen mask first.

Elizabeth is a stress coach for Christian moms. She is the host of Emotionally Healthy Legacy podcast and a mom of 4. Elizabeth is super passionate about mental health and emotional wellness in motherhood. She helps overwhelmed Christian moms reduce the mental stress so they can respond with patience and calm towards their kids. She teaches proactive ways to be less stressed, prioritizing moms needs without guilt and ways to regulate emotions when feeling triggered.

To get her help with "5 ways to calm down when you are getting triggered"

Your worth is NOT determined by your works!

You ARE 100% Valuable

You Are 100% Good

You Are 100% Beautiful

You Are 100% Magnificent

You Are 100%.

You Are 100% Lovable

You Are 100%!

You just ARE

It's inherent

Your value is set

There is nothing you can do to change it.

Who you ARE never wanes.

It's not one of your batteries that drains and needs to be recharged.

It just IS.

The worth of souls is Great in the sight of God.

You are 100% Great!

You just ARE!

Because of HIM.

Jesus Christ makes it all possible.

Happy Palm Sunday, friends!

Have you heard of the most awesome, inspiring, motivational, uplifting, FREE Event that is happening THIS weekend?!! And you can tap in virtually from your own couch in your jammies?!

We call it General Conference which sounds stuffy and boring but it is packed with the Holy Spirit and messages straight from Jesus Christ to his Prophet and Apostles in our day!!

What?! Yes! God has called a prophet to the earth again! A modern day Moses! The people in Noah's day needed to be warned about the flood if they didn't repent. What do we need to be warned of? What does God want to tell us now? What messages does He have for YOU specifically?

Come find out!!

Are you living your dream as a Stay at Home Mom but sometimes it doesn't feel like the "Happily Every After" you thought it'd be?

Do you find yourself saying "I just want something" to help you feel more alive, more like yourself, more fulfilled, more validated?

Then do you feel guilty that being a mom just doesn't feel like enough even though you're thoroughly exhausted and drained?

Do you feel bad wondering about getting fulfillment outside of motherhood?

As if being a mom is supposed to be the end all be all of your existence and should meet all of your very complicated human needs?

If so, Mama, You are NOT alone!!

A LOT of us have felt this way and on the podcast today I have special guest Jennie Lakenan who will share with us her similar story.

She resisted a lot of these feelings also but after she found coaching, she realized that it was not only ok to feel this way, but embracing her true self and her God-given desires was actually the biggest gift that she could give her children!

What is your motivation to be a good mom?

What are you trying to prove?

Who are you trying to impress?

Or is it just who you Are?

Tap in to find out more

Jodi Schilling is a certified life coach for world-changers, a mental health advocate, and behavior support specialist in schools. She’s also a mom of 4 neurodiverse adult kids and the host of The Good Mom podcast. She believes strongly in equity, inclusion, and strength-based approaches to problems.

When asked what changes she would like to see in the world, we had a great discussion about inclusion and belonging. Acceptance goes both ways and it starts with accepting ourselves. Listen in for more!

Not one soul of them did perish AND neither was there one soul among them who had not received many wounds.
Immediately gave orders that my men who had been wounded should be taken from among the dead and caused that their woulds should be dressed. 

Jane Copier is the Empty Nest Coach for midlife women so she is frequently helping Moms empower their children to make their own decisions and fix their own problems. And I propose that we can do the same for our kids even while they are small. 

Jane is starting an amazing group program on April 3 called "Empty Nest Academy" so be sure to check out her website for that info and get the early bird freebies right away. 

God is perfectly patient. 

We are not.

So we need patience with our own imperfections.

And faith in His perfect patience. 

Learn more about how in this episode.

Love is one Breath away.

Calm is one Breath away.

Peace. Sanity. Patience.

Getting in touch with your Spirit, your True Self.

It all just takes a PAUSE.

In the very heat of the moment, 

All you have to do is Remember to Breathe! 

Just BREATHE!

Get your brain back online.

It takes one intentional breath. 

Hyo and I are both starting women's support groups.
Hers is for her "Divorce and Discipleship" women and mine is for my T1D Moms. 

Listen in today as she describes what her group will be like and send all your friends who are going through a separation or divorce over my dear friend's way, she will take great care of them! Hyo has been and is still in the thick of it and has great tools and experience in turning to the Savior in the most trying times in life.
Hyo is a Spiritual Mastery Coach and has such a soothing and pensive approach to coaching that helps me on the daily with whatever I'm stressed about. I am delighted to share her with all of you. 

Scheduling link:  https://hyonorthcoaching.as.me/ (https://hyonorthcoaching.as.me/)

Instagram handle:  Hyo North, Spiritual Mastery Coach (@hyonorth_coaching) • Instagram photos and videos (https://www.instagram.com/hyonorth_coaching/) 

Website:  Hyo North Coaching – Life & Spiritual Mastery Coach (https://hyonorthcoaching.com/)

Waitlist for Women at The Well:  

Drop the "Shoulds"
Drop the "Do Betters"
We are expansive beings so we will always want to elevate our perspectives.
Nothing wrong with where you are, you ARE Good.
AND you can move to a different perspective.

Kami Banks helps moms who want to move reach new heights.
In this episode you will learn how to (similar to my AAA Battery framework) go from the island of awareness, through the sea of C's to get to your islands of Excellence. We also discuss the idea of listening to your body and the continuum between indulging in our primal brain comfort and pushing ourselves too hard. When is it "no pain, no gain" and when do we "let ourselves off the hook" 

I know you think that a Good Mom is Patient.
With her kids.
But what about Patient with yourself?!
Has it ever bothered you that in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus commands us to be perfect?
Like the "higher law" isn't too high already, how the heck does He expect this also?!!
On today's episode I shed some light and a lot of HOPE on all of this. 

You know that you have a relationship with your child, but did you know that you have a relationship with their Type 1 Diabetes also? 

In this episode fellow life coach Andelin Price and I chat about our experiences having children with T1D and how life coaching tools have helped us manage ourselves as we manage our child's diabetes. 

The way we think about the disease matters and it can make it harder or easier on you as the Mom.

Whether your child has T1D or not, the principles discussed in this episode can be applied to any struggle you are dealing with. 

Please forward this podcast to any Moms you know that do have children with Type 1 Diabetes, there is so much additional suffering that can be eliminated as we work together to manage our relationships with Diabetes! 

Happy Valentine's Day!

On this day of Love, let's remember that

"The first great truth of all eternity is that God loves us" -Elder Jeffrey R Holland
John 3:16 For God so loved YOU that He gave his only begotten son. 

Today we are exploring what might be keeping you from Believing this and feeling His Love. 

Remember, it's not about what you DO. You can never earn his love or do anything to lose it! 

Once you are filled with God's Love, and experience the unconditional-ness of it, you can more easily love yourself and then you can release yourself from expectations of perfectly being unconditional to your kids and release your husband from the impossible task of making you feel loved. 

Let's fill our own buckets, enjoy other's attempts at showing us love, and love hard on all of them! 

Enjoy your Valentine's Day of Love!! 

Our special guest on the show today is "The Conscious Mommy" on IG (etc) and she is here today to teach us more about how to be a conscious parent.
Bryana is a licensed marriage and family therapist, an infant family early childhood mental health specialist, a perinatal mental health specialist, and a certified conscious parenting coach. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝

**BIG Announcement Day!!***

Starting February 21, 2023
Every Tuesday Morning at 9:30 AM MT

I am going to host a support group for Moms with children that have Type 1 Diabetes on zoom. 

Happy Groundhog Day! 

This is a very important holiday at our house because we all love the summer/spring so much! Any chance that winter is ending is a cause for celebration!! 

Don't let your life turn into a perpetual groundhog day! You don't have to repeat the mistakes from yesterday today and tomorrow and forever!
Yes we will always be human and we will continue to make mistakes but that's all part of the learning and development of this mortal life. And learning and growth don't happen in ease and perfection. Growth also doesn't come from making the same mistakes over and over. That's insanity. 

So, with our recharging our Triple A Battery coaching framework, we can actually learn from the Awareness of our current mistakes, be ok with them as we fill up our Acceptance battery, and then live into Alignment with the truth of who we ARE. 

Please go and learn all you want from the "parenting experts" and then come back to me to reassure you that you ARE Good even if you currently are not doing all of their great advice. 

There is a reason you can't quite get that "A line" dialed in. Your actions are not aligned because you don't have the first two batteries filled. We have to know where you're starting from and know that it's not a problem that needs to be fixed. 

Today I give you an example of how this works. 

One of my guiding parenting principles is "Connection for Cooperation" but yesterday there was a serious lack of both in my house trying to get the kids out the door. Listen is as I walk you through how the learning and growth AND CHANGE can happen through these coaching tools, both human and divine. 

Are you "in a funk"? 

Or do you sometimes or often feel like you're in a funk?

That's my favorite way to describe the low energy, low motivation, especially during the winter mood that comes and goes and 

It's not a Problem! 

Nothing has gone wrong here.

If you really believed that your worth does NOT depend on your productivity, the acceptance of the funk would come easier.

I've been working on this myself lately as I've been riding some gnarly waves of funk and illness.
I finally got my voice back so I've recorded a few of my percolating thoughts on the subject for you.

Marla Beech is a self connection coach. She helps her clients really learn how to connect with themselves in order to live their best lives!
In this episode she walks us through her Daily Compass routine to start our days off with purpose. This includes self care to service, a spiritual practice, and affirmations. Listen in for all the details!

All things are present before God (D&C 38:2 and Moses 1:6)
Past, Present, and Future are just mental constructs created in this mortal state that we are living in right now.

But we are divine eternal beings. 

So we can try to keep an eternal perspective and "time bend" the way God can. 

When we trust that He created us and called it good, then we get a glimpse into remembering our eternal goodness.

You ARE Good because you always have been, always will be, and therefore are now in the present also.

Even though you made mistakes in the past and you are trying to be better in the future.

If you could bend time and put the past and future into the present, you could believe that you Are a Good Mom and then easily live into that.
Still never perfectly cause we are limited by our mortality but trusting in the immortal state of our souls, we can tap into our divine goodness more often and with so much more grace and compassion. 

Try it on. Try time bending. It's life changing. Literally. Cause we are so used to living in a world misguided by the human invention of the clock and calendar. 

But if you believe in your eternal presence, you can be her now. You are her now. You're not what you did in the past or how you hope to behave in the future. You just are who you are. Believe that and you'll be ready to enjoy the. miracles of being who you've always been.

Stacy Saunders is a certified life coach who coaches moms of kids with food intolerances. She is the Mother of 3 and is a Member of Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And is a Homeschooler.

When Barbara coaches moms of adult children, the same fears, doubts, and lies come up for them as come up for my Moms of young kids!

No matter your age or your child's age, Believing that you ARE a Good Mom can be a challenge.

Reprogramming your brain to just believe in your inherent goodness that is not dependent on your actions is a new skill for most of us. 

Listen in today as you learn from Barbara's experience and wisdom and start believing. 

You are not wrong. You don't have to make yourself wrong. Even if other people are doing things differently. And even if your own true self would do something differently, the way you just did it was right for that time. 

Connection coach Jill Wright helps all of us believe that we ARE Right Also! (we're not Wright like she is but we ARE Right!) You are not wrong!! You Are Always Right!!

You ARE with a capital letter A!
Your (capital letter) D Desires are who you Are!
What you Want matters! 

If your brain is always going to judge, at least we can drop the war with it by calling it discerning instead. And if we have to compare, let's compare ourselves to something useful, like our eternal self. We always have been and always will be but we need to remember who that is. 

Instead of trying to make the right decisions and do everything right, let's just make decisions, make them right and believe that we ARE a Good Mom! 

You have all the information that you need. You don't need another book, blog, email, or IG post to give you more information on how to be a good mom!! You already ARE and when you believe that, along with acceptance of the awareness of where you are now, then you will live in alignment with who you've always been! And it's SO Fun!! 

Laura Hernandez is also a Mama Coach and we have a super fun conversation about how Systems can help us keep our Sanity and get us out of Survival Mode.

Here is a little more about her: 

"I am the owner of Mama Systems and the mother of ten children.

In just five years, My husband and I added six children to

our family - three biological and three through adoption. Four of the kiddos

attend public school, we home-school five children, and I

manage 20+ appointments a week for our four special needs children.

I am passionate and dedicated to helping women bring more peace to their

homes.

Designing customized systems that help a family run more smoothly and

What does your heart yearn to do but your brain tries to tell you is impossible?

We are buried in limiting beliefs that keep us living small. But you are an eternal being. What does your soul know that your mortal brain has forgotten? Your desires give you clues into who you cosmically are. 

Now is the time of year that we let ourselves remember. We tap into more of our potential as we get intentional about what we want the new year to bring. 

What would you love to believe is possible? that the world has conditioned you into believing is impossible? 

The world was flat until it wasn't. It wasn't humanly possible to run a mile is less than four minutes until someone did it.

What record to you want to break? 

What goal would people laugh at you for if you shared it with them? 

That's a good goal. Probably not a "SMART" goal but who cares? 

Let's do the impossible this year! 

Let's break records and tear down our limiting beliefs so that we don't feel stuck anymore!! 

Who's with me?! 

Let's go! 

Marci Owen is a dear coach friend of mine. She puts on an incredible coaches retreat which I got to attend a couple years ago and it was amazing! 

On this episode, she shares with us a couple of her very impactful personal stories which I find so inspirational in motivating me to Be Myself, believe in myself, and to live my dreams, "Because I Can!" 

Believing that you ARE a Good Mom IS Believing in Yourself so this is the perfect message to share on this podcast and at the perfect time of year as many of us are embarking on a New Year, New You! 

Earn the confidence to be this new version of yourself by doing the thing that scares you. Feel the courage by feeling the fear and doing it anyway. And by doing so, you develop the confidence you're seeking. 

BE YOU!

It's Day Two of the New Year!! 

Are you a whole new person since switching out the calendar?

Did everything you resolved to do daily without fail, fail on day one? Me too. So, let's just throw in the towel, shall we? Why not, that's how most years go. Let's just add one more to the failure pile...

No! Let's not do that. Let's come up with some realistic expectations of ourselves this year instead, eh? 

You do not have to be perfect overnight. It's not a new you from Dec 31 to Jan 1 but rather, what "new you" would you like to see in the mirror on Jan 1 of 2024?! 

That is something we can work towards! We can't white knuckle will power our way through the whole year. Change is not an overnight one and done process. It is slow and has ups and downs. So let's plan to fail forward instead of messing up and giving up this time. 

I propose that you resolve this year to the meta skill of believing you ARE a Good Mom!! This will help you with all the other goals you have for your parenting, I promise! And in this episode I explain a little more about how that works. 

Perhaps you've resolved to be more kind and patient and loving to your "hardest" child. How many minutes on January 1st were you able to do that? You woke up with the same brain that has the same memorized patterns. It takes time effort and especially compassion to change those patterns. I'd love to help you do that. Don't beat yourself up that you'll never change and that all because the date changed, you weren't able to. Yet! Change is possible and actually quicker than you might expect but your brain is stuck in its own lies that it has developed lots of evidence for over the years. A coach can help you navigate all of that. 

My Coaching Origin Stories Series Part 3

Tyson Bradley 

I always wanted to be a Mom and after Jody helped me love living my happily ever after, I decided to combine what she'd taught me with the parenting coaching from many different coaches and experts over the years and become a Peaceful Parenting Life Coach. Then after Crystal helped dig me out of layers of shame about my own parenting, I was ready to get back to my commitment to my business.

I always wanted to combine Jesus, Jody, and parenting skills. But I wasn't doing it at home or in my coaching practice. I knew that the life coaching tools and the parent coaching tools fell flat when they weren't backed by the actual enabling power of Jesus Christ but I was still trying to figure out how that actually works and how to share it. 

Enter Tyson. Tyson was doing it! He started a group called Entrepreneurs of Christ and he was talking about Jesus and business together. Just like I wanted to be doing with parenting. Partnering with Christ to build and grow a business. And he seemed as awkward and uncomfortable as I was feeling but he was doing it anyway! So I decided to join him in his journey and our business calls felt more like sunday school lessons on steroids than funnel building and ad improving. And I loved it!! 

So I've been in on the ground floor and seen how Christ has been transforming Tyson's message and that has helped mold my message also.

He transitioned from Entrepreneurs of Christ to "Inherent Identity" and as we all worked on remembering who we Inherently ARE, I could feel in my heart and soul that I AM a Good Mom! It's who I have always been and as my identity, it didn't matter anymore what "a mess" as a Mom I was, I knew my inherent worth and nothing I did or didn't do could change that. 

Growing up in Primary we learn that we are Children of God and in young women's I firmly believed that I was a Beloved Daughter of Heavenly Parents who loved me and I loved them. I didn't start to forget what that identity meant for me until I got married and had kids. Irony of life since that, I thought, was supposed to be God's whole plan for me! 

It's easy to believe we are good and loved when we are doing good but what about when we make mistakes? Does that affect/effect our worth in the sight of God? No! Of course not. We still are as 100% valuable on our good days as on our not so good days. Or moments. 

Once I really started believing that! wow!! the magic really started! 

It's as simple as "the model" really. When we think "I am a good mom" then we feel confident and show up in the ways that we want to and our result is that we are a good mom. But we are usually in a shame model from the lies that our brain feeds us that whatever we did or didn't do makes us a terrible mom and then that is our result. 

I understood that. But adding on the inherent identity process from Tyson really solidifies the truths and helps me chip off the lies daily. 

None of this work is "one and done". Every single day I need to connect to Heaven and be reminded of my worth and that I am a Beloved Daughter. 

And then showing up as the Mom I want to be and the Good Mom that I've always been is so much easier!! 

My Coaching Origin Story Series Part 2

Crystal Haitsma is "The Parenting Coach"

She was my parenting coach after I finished coach training and was drowning in imposter syndrome. 

I wanted to be a peaceful parenting life coach because I wanted to combine the life coaching world with the parenting coaching world that I'd been learning from and I didn't know of anyone who was doing that. But then when I learned about Crystal I thought," oh good. someone is doing it so I don't have to." Ha ha! Cause one coach can really take care of all the moms in all the world?! Not so much!
The first time she coached me, she told me that (yeah yeah bla bla I know I know...) there are people out there that need my specific voice. I will say things differently and in a way that will resonate with them. 

But I still felt way too off in my own parenting to be of any help to anyone else. Until she asked me this one life changing question.

What if you are a 10/10 Mom already? 

What? Surely, that couldn't be true. I long ago dropped the war on expecting myself to be perfect. No one on this earth except Jesus was ever perfect and that's obviously because He didn't have kids!! ;) So the thought took a while to seep in but when I changed the 10/10 from meaning perfection to just being a fact that I am a 10/10 Mom.... whatever my best is for today is the best i could do today and nothing has gone wrong here? Could that possibly be true?! 

Pair that with the Inherent Identity work with Tyson Bradly (episode coming soon!...) and i was off! In a good way this time. I finally had a message. I found a truth that I could believe and that actually did start changing things for me in my parenting!! 

Between Crystal's 10 out of 10 Mom idea and Tyson's "I Am Me" work, I birthed MY Belief that 

I AM a Good Mom! 

And believing that I inherently AM a 10/10 Mom, changed me. I am far from perfect still but I am so much closer to staying aligned with who I Truly AM more often and when I don't, I have so much more grace for my human self that is going to mess up. A lot. But I don't make those mistakes mean anything about my inherent worth anymore. I've peeled off so many layers of shame, I am finally free! The truth has set me free!! And now I AM ready to help other Moms break free also. By Believing that You too, my friend, YOU ARE a Good Mom!! You are inherently a 10/10 Mom!! Believe it to Be it! Cause you already are. Always have been. Always will be. It's just who you ARE. 

Jody was the first life coach I had ever heard of and she continues to be my life coach to this day, over 6 years later. 

She helps me love my life. What else would you expect from a life coach? 

My whole life, I always wanted to be a mom and once I finally got my "Happily Ever After" most days it felt more like a nightmare than living the dream. Everything was perfect, no actual problems. So why did I feel so terrible? What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just enjoy my blessings?
Enter Jody Moore. Life coaching tools changed everything for me and then Jody helped me birth a new dream: to help others the way she had helped me. 

When I was 11, I cross stitched a pillow that said "I can follow God's plan for me" and for decades I thought that plan was to get married and make babies.
Turns out as Jody puts it, that was a "gross oversimplification".
Now that I am married and finished making babies, what is God's plan for me?
To learn how to love that amazing husband and adorable kiddos more fully? Yes!

AND what else?!

Did you know that it's ok to yearn for more?! It doesn't mean that you're ungrateful or unappreciative of what you have.
On the contrary, it magnifies all that you have when you continue to expand yourself. 

You are a person also, Momma! Not just a Mom. You ARE a Good Mom! And you ARE a Good Woman. What does she WANT to do? Who IS She?

AND what else? 

Enjoy your bounteous blessings this beautiful Christmas Eve AND allow yourself to dream big. To get what You Want! To let ideas flow. Open your heart to your true desires. Let those desires take root and grow and flourish. Be more of who you are. Who you've always been. 

If this sounds impossible or out of reach, I've got you! 

I love stories. I love to hear people's experiences. To understand better where they are coming from. To get to know them better. 

Today I am sharing an overview of my coaching origin story. The quick google search definition of origin is "the point or place where something begins, arises, or is derived."

So in today's story I explain why I got into coaching, how it helped me, and then why I wanted to become a coach myself to pay it forward and help others. 

My origin story includes three of my coaches whose influence helped me form the messages that I share with you today. There are countless other friends, family, coaches, and teachers who have influenced me and continue to do so. Many of them I have already shared with you. 

In the coming weeks I will share these three coaches with you in what I am calling my special "origin story series". 

So be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss the incredible episodes I have coming up with Tyson Bradley, Crystal The Parenting Coach, and the original of the origin, the one and only Jody freakin Moore! 

Jody Moore started it all and was so gracious and generous to give me the Christmas Gift of an hour of her time yesterday to record an origin episode where she shares my story from her perspective. 

No more spoilers, gotta be sure to be subscribed to the podcast so that you don't miss when these incredible episodes drop. 

We've all heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Well, today we are flipping the pyramid on it's head! I think we need "self actualization" the MOST and it is the highest priority. And after we have charged those batteries, the basic needs fall into place. 

Especially with Faith in Jesus Christ! Because He himself told us in Matthew 6 to take no thought for the things at the bottom of the pyramid. He's got us! He has our air, food, shelter, water, even reproduction in His control. He tells us to seek FIRST "the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you"

So what does that mean exactly? Well, that is up to you to figure out for yourself but today I share some of my recent thoughts on the subject.

What is your job as a Mom anyway? Aren't we supposed to take care of our children's basic needs? And our own? And our husbands? Are we?
or is your job to take care of their "higher needs" things up higher on Maslow's pyramid?
Like Dr Paul Jenkins always says, that our job is to LOVE our Children. That's not till the middle of the layers! 

What is your New Year's Resolution? 

How confident are you that you'll be successful with it? 

I would love to help! Life Coaching is for people with beautiful wonderful lives like yours AND you also yearn for more. And you might feel guilty about that. You have it all. You've always wanted to be a mom and you finally are. You have a great and supportive husband. And it's still a struggle. Why? And what do you do about it. A life coach can help you answer those questions! I'd be honored to be that life coach. 

My New Year's Resolution is to do 365 FREE Coaching Sessions this year!! 

Shalom is a Hebrew word meaning Peace! 

We are all about dropping the war to create more peace in our parenting here at Drop the War Life Coaching!!
So I love this idea of Shalom!
It is a peaceful wholeness, perfection, and tranquility. 

Peace be with you, my friend! Especially at this Christmas time of year when we are all about Peace on Earth. And especially at this Hanukkah time of year also!!

How do we create more peace when it's just chaos of kids swirling around us all the time? That is what we explore in this episode! 

Peace be with you, my friends! Shalom that is not an absence of trials or of "negative" emotions but a Peace that comes from believing that you Are a Good Mom and that it is all part of the plan. It's all good. It's all for your good. Eternally. You are a good eternal celestial being and in order to continue to progress, we are in this mortal experience and it's all for our learning, growth, and development. It's all good. Even the bad. For me, with this perspective, I get into a Peaceful state of mind. A way of being. Shalom Peace is a calm reassurance that everything is as it should be. 

When things start getting wild, breathe in the Shalom! Acceptance. They are doing what they're doing. You are reacting the way you are reacting. It's all part of the human experience. Shalom. Acceptance. Peace. It is as it should be. It is as it is. Literally stop and breath it in. 

Merry Christmas season, my friends!!
Hope you are all enjoying the decorations and symbols of Christ all around us at this glorious time of year! 

Today's episode is "story time" so grab your teddy and gather around on the carpet criss cross apple sauce for me to read you this great book By Melissa Sunday and Alyssa Parker "See Christ in Christmas. 12 symbols of Christmas"

In this beautiful book, Melissa and Alyssa remind us of how each symbol around us represents Jesus and helps us to see Him everywhere at this time of year. 

I love this so much and I love to see Him everywhere at all times of year and that, my friends, is how we drop the war to find more Peace in our Parenting. It is through Jesus Christ. No matter what mayhem and chaos comes with raising all these little kiddos, Peace is always still available. One breath of heaven away. 

Enjoy a peaceful Sabbath day today with love and laughter. And fighting, tantrums, and whining. ;) My wish for you today and all season is that you soak it all in deeply. It is going by so fast. No time to wallow in self pity with blame and shame. Give yourself the gift this year of dropping those wars and enjoying the peace that comes from loving your life! Love on those littles so hard. They are only little for so long. And we have the rest of eternity to look back with fondness to this magical time when we can celebrate Christmas with our small children! Don't let the stresses and task distract you from the love and joy and peace. 

I frequently talk about your need as a Mom to fill up your cup first. You can’t pour out of an empty pitcher. And you have to put on your oxygen mask first in order to keep anyone else alive also.

So in these metaphors, what is the oxygen exactly? How do you put on that mask? How do you fill your cup? And with what?

The amazing and lovely coach Zil Eiler tells us her story today of when she was a struggling young mom who was filling her cup with the wrong juice. She loves Orange Juice and maybe she was drinking that but must have been trying to drink it from a sippy cup. Ever try to drink freshly squeezed OJ from those tiny holes? Doesn’t work! Or maybe it was milk. Are you trying to fill your cup with the wrong bev?

In modern-day slang, “juju” typically refers to a sort of positive, magnetic power — an energy, feeling, or vibe that any of us can create, give off, or experience.

I’d like to offer that we all fill our cups with our own personal form of juju juice. You have to discover what that is for you specifically. And it can change with your changing seasons. But what works for one person doesn't necessarily fill someone else. You are an individual. Your job is to learn who you are. And what fills you. 

You ARE a Good Mom! If you don't feel that, maybe you haven't discovered your flavor of jujujuice yet. But you can. Keep exploring. Keep trying. 

And know that you are worth it! You are a person also. You have talents and gifts and interests and the world needs them. You are a Mom AND you Are YOU! 

Brooke Oniki coaches moms who are in the transition from raising the kids to letting them go off on their own in the world.
Her perspective not only gives us light at the end of the tunnel but also we can see the pitfalls that the next season of life can bring if we completely lose ourselves in this phase.
Of course we love our children and want to support them in their interests, but what are your interests outside of them and theirs?
This is a tough question for a lot of Moms who have just been trying to survive the early years of raising kids but it is an important one to ponder. 

Brooke often walks up to busy Moms at the store and makes sure that they know what a rockstar they are! This is no easy task we've undertaken and we are way too hard on ourselves. So listen in and let Brooke give you a big warm virtual hug for this holiday season and take our permission to give yourself all the things you need this Christmas! Emotionally and physically. 

Alyssa Michaela Jaco is a People-Pleasing Expert and Health and Life Coach. She stopped waiting to be saved & became the hero of her own story.
Now she is helping you feel better, love yourself, be yourself & love your life! 

Alyssa shares with us her journey and how coaching has helped her. She said that before coaching she never knew that she had choices.
Of course we know we have agency, but do we really know we have agency?
If someone wants you to do something and you want to do something else, which do you do?
How free do you feel to make that choice?

Learning how to own your own agency is liberating, and a bit scary on how it will affect those around us.
But if you don't take care of yourself, who will? 

Codependency can come into play when we are trying to control other people's emotions with our choices.
We are free to choose what we want and they are free to choose how they want to feel about it.
And that is differentiation in our relationships. So that we can be interdependent. Not too independent and not too dependent. 

And we are all dynamic people who swing from one end of the continuum to the other all the time. We can't arrive at a static destination and stay there forever. And we don't need to identify ourselves by any certain action or trait. 

None of this work is one and done. 

That's why we all need a coach or two all the time! Cause we'll never coach ourselves out of being human. 

We use rechargeable batteries which I think is AWESOME!
Today we are going in depth into my coaching framework which I call

Recharging Your Triple A Batteries!

AAA are Awareness, Acceptance, and Alignment

No spoilers here, you've got to tap into the episode for the details on how to recharge each. And seriously, this is the secret sauce, my friends! The secrets to getting the life you've always wanted. To becoming the Mom you've always desired to be. 

My life coach, Jody Moore, taught me that what my brain is (almost always!) doing is what she calls the Shame/Blame trap.

I'll teach you what that is in this episode

AND I will teach you the quick and easy brain hack to get you out of the trap!! 

Are you trying to get on the same page with your husband and kids? How is that working for you? When you think about it like that, how do you feel and act?
What if we look at it like being on the same TEAM instead? Each player on the football team has a different job to do and if they try to be someone else, the team as a whole struggles. Same with our families. Just do your own 1/11th and then trust that team work will make the dream work!

Together
Everyone
Achieves
More

Ben Pugh is a friend and fellow coach who also coaches Moms to believe that they ARE a Good Mom!! Because the way you think about things not only affects your results but also you child's. In this episode we explore how that works. Whether your kids are teens that Ben usually coaches or toddlers Moms that I coach, these principles can blow your mind a little in all the best ways. 

Ceri Payne is an incredible business coach for entrepreneurs and executives. She is also and Mom and built a thriving business while serving as RS Pres in her ward! She knows how to juggle all the hats!  
We have an incredible conversation around rethinking the concept of Balance in order for you to feel better about the way you spend your time.
Ceri helps us define our True Priorities so that we CAN Believe we ARE a Good Mom. 

For more from Ceri check her out here:

Sarah Larsen Shiozawa is a Leadership Coach! She is also a Good Mom to 4 year old twins and a 6 year old so she is in the thick of it with us and gives the working mom perspective plus she does a lot of work with Military Moms! She has a Masters in Public Administration and tells us a little bit about her work in Washington DC back in her single days. I love how she describes "interpersonal dynamics" whereas I tend to call that "drama" in my house. I think I'll do that thought switch to see the kids fighting as interpersonal dynamics and my role as preparing them for having these dynamics outside of the home already and forever throughout their lives. Drama is just part of life and doesn't have to be such a negative thing. Seeing it as such usually just exasperates the conflict. 

If you need glasses to see clearly, you understand why we enjoy modern medicine for thinking clearly also.
I am not anti any of this. Yes to glasses. Yes to medicine that helps you live your life the way you want to.
As a general society, we are terrible at accepting the full range of emotions and the ebb and flow of ups and downs in our days and in our whole lives.
Seasons and cycles in the world give us a pattern to help us understand ourselves better. 

We erroneously expect ourselves to think, feel, and behave a certain way all day every day day in and day out.
This is unsustainable and unfair to expect of ourselves, our kids, and any other human.
It's just not how we are made. 

Our inherent selves are not stagnant or flat either. We need to be careful in our efforts to "get better" that we're not breaking our own spirits to fit into a cookie cutter mold that we were never meant to fit into.

If God made every single tiny snowflake unique, why do we think that He expects us to conform to some cookie cutter person? No! It is majestic to ponder on each of our uniqueness.
Find out who you really are. Live into Her. She has depth that only your shadow side can bring out. If you're feeling the darkness, that means that there is light. Light is what casts the shadows. Both sides are Good. It's all good. It's all part of the plan. Opposition in ALL things. 

If we succeeded in getting rid of all of the "negative", we would never comprehend the positive. 

Special Thanksgiving edition of the podcast today we have special guest Bonnie Lyman! 

As we are spending more time with our families this week, remember that your only job as a Mom is to Love your children. When you Believe you ARE a Good Mom no matter how they behave, you can drop the judgement and be free to just love them for who they are. 

Bonnie coaches Moms about their relationship with their adult children. And I coach moms about their relationship with their young children. So send your Mother In Laws to Bonnie at bonnielymancoaching.com or send your Daughters in Law to dropthewarlifecoach.com to work with me!  Either way, no matter how old you are and how old your kids are, Love always wins. Love is the answer. So go Love on Purpose, my friends and Believe you ARE a Good Mom! (that is the name of both of our podcasts ;)

We are all eternal beings having an earthly experience which includes the full rich human experience. Which includes ups and downs. Good times and bad times. We are everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. 

So when I say to Believe that you ARE a Good Mom, that includes your shadow side. You ARE Good. God made you, He is good, He called it very good after he made woman. You ARE Good. It's who you eternally Are. 

AND you are a human being feeling all the feels, experiencing all the roller coaster of emotions, doing all the things, the full rich human experience. 

And it's all good. It's ALL good. It's for our eternal good. The good, the bad, and the ugly will all lead us to our ultimate capital G Good. 

So. Today Elisa and I talk about how embracing all of us, even the parts we can feel ashamed about, will set us free. 

For more from Elisa

Meredith Gardner is The Hard Conversation Coach. She and I were going to talk about how no matter the outcome of the conversation with your children, you Are a Good Mom! Your child’s behavior, your behavior, and the way the conversation goes doesn't determine your worth as a person or as a Mom. Or the worth of your child. You are both Good. No matter what. 

But of course, I digress. So instead she ends up coaching me a bit on conversations with my husband.

Then Meredith shares several of her tips for more connecting conversations instead of creating contention. Which is something we can ALL work on! 

To get more of her wisdom, be sure to sign up for her weekly email and hop on her "pop in calls" they are both fantastic! 

Who Are you? Really? Who were you before you can remember? If you knew, how would that affect who you are being now? How do we find out? 

Davina Fear is here to help us!
Seeing the truth of who we are helps us in an eternal perspective but it also helps us see our day to day drama clearly.
If you find yourself thinking things like "I'm always yelling at my kids" "she is always pitching a fit" "they are always fighting" pretty much anything with "always" in it cannot be a fact. No one is ALWAYS doing anything. If for no other reason than, they probably aren't fighting in their sleep and even if you think that they "never sleep" that can't be 100% true....
Davina helps women understand the truth of who they are!
(and so do I! The truth is that you ARE a Good Mom!! ;)

In her own words she is "mom to four kids, married for almost 25 years to Hot Guy (Mike).

I have been working with women in all kinds of capacities for over a decade.

Being with women, as a photographer and coach, on their most memorable and big days as well as in their everyday, in-the-trenches-kinds-of-days, is my specialty.

Seeing women, like you, at their best AND in their most challenging moments and being amazed and inspired by them.

Caleb the college coach was raised by an amazing mom who didn't necessarily believe that she was a good mom until she became a life coach. Huh, that sounds familiar! ;)
Listen in to this episode to get an interesting perspective on motherhood- from the pov of the son himself! He had a great life with a great Mom AND he can testify to the difference that life coaching can make on the Mom and the whole family, for generations to come! When she felt better about herself, he could tell that parenting became lighter, not so heavy. Loving yourself has more of an effect on the rest of the family than anything else can. 

We all think we need to DO all the things in order to BE a good mom. Caleb and I chat about why we don't think that is the case. 

Trying to control another person's emotions is the biggest uphill battle you'll never win.

Jennifer Mullins is a Small Biz accountant and advisor.
In this episode we discuss how coaching has helped us so much.
One of the main concepts is learning what we can and what we can't control in order to empower ourselves in our lives no matter what choices the other people around us are making.  

If you are also a small business owner, Jenn would love to help you out with your finances.
Don't let the money fear drama stop you from creating your dream life! 

Cheree Murdock coaches teens so today we are talking about how we can help our kiddos learn about how to manage their emotions in a healthy way so that when they grow up, they know better what to do with their feelings instead of escaping or distracting from them. 

We can even find Connection through our Emotions. Being human is all about emotion. None of them are good or bad and if we can actually believe that about our own feelings, we can give that grace to our kids also and let them feel all thier feels also.

Feelings are not a problem we need to fix. Ours or theirs. 

We don't need to escape, distract, buffer, or act out our emotions. We can just feel them through our bodies. 

And when we don't make ourselves wrong for feeling any sort of way, we can then receive the message that those emotions have for us to learn. 

If you have a teen that needs some help, you can find Cheree at:

When I ask you "What kind of Mom do you want to be?" what comes up for you?
When you get to "define for yourself" what kind of mom you want to be? 

Look at what you wrote down (or thought of)

Is it a big long list of DO's. And don't do's?
It's all in your action line, right?
Maybe with some feelings you want to feel.
And maybe even some thoughts you want to think.

What does a "Good Mom" look like for you?
Does your brain interpret that mostly as 'What does a good mom DO?"

Let's talk about the difference between BEing and DOing! 

You are a human BEing which means you are going to DO a bunch of messy stuff that's not your ideal.

But who ARE you actually?
You Are actually an eternal being, not just a human being.

And our job is to REMEMBER who She IS!

It's not actually about what you DO. It's about who you ARE.
Not even who you are becoming, cause you already Are Her.
You just need to remember who She IS! 

And then live into in. Meaning your thoughts, feelings, and yes, Actions will align eventually once you believe and remember that you already ARE Good!! 

So, instead of "What kind of Mom do you want to DO?" which is your your brain might have interpreted that first question, just know that You already Are the kind of Mom you Want to BE! Cause your desires (your wants) yours, your specific to you! tell you who you ARE. 

What kind of Mom ARE you? (not what kind of Mom are you doing?)
Who have you always been? Your spirit is trying to tell you. Listen to your heart to find out. And the rest of the model will follow along. 

Amber and I are gonna start the "vibrant hair coaching club" 😉 

Amber Haider is no hater! She is full of love and fun and she shares her story of always wanting to be a SAHM but not loving it like she thought she would and her journey to now loving life to the max! 

Listen in especially if you are feeling unfulfilled in your role as Mommy and you feel bad about that. You think you should be happy and loving life since this is the most important gig there is, then why do you feel so terrible while doing it? 

Cause "Isolation, resentment, frustration… not good fuel for momming"

For more from Amber:

Coach Cris Berlingeri MD wears many beautiful hats! She is a physician, a baker, a business owner, a coach, and of course a wife and mother!
And in all her roles she is a Christian through and through!
I have always admired her faith ever since we went through coach training together years ago.
In this episode we discuss how coaching and Christianity have helped us in all aspects of our lives. 

To my dear friend with her first baby wrapped in her arms hoping that she's "doing it right", girl! I have a message for you today!

And for the rest of us:
How do you feel when you sing this song with your kids...
"There's a RIGHT way to live and be happy. It is choosing the RIGHT everyday..."

For me, I cringe a little every time.

Yes, I believe in Choosing the Right. I have worn CTR rings my whole life also.

But not until recently have I noticed how that thought doesn't actually make me feel so great.

If there is a right or wrong way to do things, I am often, if not always, doing them wrong. And that feels terrible. And my brain makes that mean that I must be a terrible mom.

But I am trying to Believe that I AM a Good Mom!
And You ARE a Good Mom!! 

You are not wrong! 

You do not have to make yourself wrong!!

You may do things that you wish you hadn't. You may have a long list of things that you want to do but can't seem to make them happen.
You are still not wrong. You are Good. And you are trying. "Beating yourself up" is never helpful.

So say it with me now... "There is no right or wrong way to be a Mom!"

again. "There is no right or wrong way to be a Mom"

If your brain rejects that idea and may even feel like it's a little bit scary, I get it. I grew up with the all or nothing "black and white" thinking also.

But I've noticed over the years how this thinking is not serving me.

When I believe that there is a right or wrong way to do this gig, I feel pressure and I choke. Every time.

But when I believe in loving Heavenly Parents who sent me to earth with my divine attributes that I inherited from them, full well knowing that I'd use my agency and "mess up" time and time again so they also provided me with a Savior?! Oh yeah. That's when I can start living! I'm not paralyzed by the prospect of perfection or perish. I am actually free to choose joy and eternal life by not being scared of making mistakes, failing, and going to Hell. 

I believe that because of Jesus Christ, I can use my agency to choose whatever I feel directed by Him to do. 

It's not about right or wrong, per se. It's about making choices and learning and growing which only happens through trial and error and strength from the Lord to try again. To repent over and over and over and over again. 

You will be a Mom forever. You have a long time to practice, refine, repair, and practice some more.

It's all Good, my friend! And you ARE Good! 

Do you sometimes feel like you are not doing a good enough job at being a Mom?
Is that what is keeping you from feeling like you are a good Mom? 

Listen in today as we explore this idea! 

Today my guest host is none other than the relationship expert and Master Coach Candice Toone!
Candice helps women stop wondering if they married the right man and start putting all their energy toward having the marriage they imagined when they said "I do." 

I love helping women do the same with their parenting also! Before we had kids, we imagined such beautiful relationships with our children someday. We were going to be the perfect mom. And then one day we woke up and our happily ever after dream feels more like a nightmare. 

Candice and I discuss how it's our own list of "rules" or "expectations" of ourselves and our families that causes this disconnect. 

Check out all of these additional resources from Candice here: 

What does Anxiety and Cotton Candy have in common? Find out in today's episode with special guest Theresa Diulus! 

Whether it's anxiety specifically or any other emotional overwhelm you may be feeling- especially with the holidays coming up!, Theresa shares with us some great practical tips of managing all the feelings! 

To find more from the amazing Theresa Diulus, check her out at:

Angela Adams from the "Embrace it all" podcast helps women who are struggling with anxiety understand that anxiety and overwhelm do not need to define who you are. You can embrace your hard emotions and thrive in your life. 

She is in the "empty nester" phase of Mothering and has some great advice for us as Moms of Young Kids! 

Learning how to embrace your emotions and your child's emotions is one of the most powerful tools you can have in your Mommy toolbox! 

My friend Candice Noss is a shining example of the message that she teaches: You are designed for Greatness!
Candice is a physical therapist and Life Coach at "The Mind, Body, Spirit Trifecta". 

Some of us love to talk.
We love having someone who will just listen.
Sometimes when we don't know what to say, we avoid the conversation all together and that can hurt more than saying the "wrong thing".
Sometimes what people need is not for you to say the right thing, but just to know you are there for them.
Just Listen.

Even our children.
They are little humans that need to be heard also.
If you don't know what to say or ask, just use a phrase that I learned from my Peaceful Parenting coach, Lisa Smith, "Tell me more" 

Do people look at you with your "litter" of children at church and say comments like "I don't know how you do it all!" or ask you "How do you do it?!"

What is "it" exactly? 

Cause when people ask me that, my answer is that I don't do it "all". Who could? Who does? 

I don't think that anyone can or does "do it ALL"

We all have to make decisions all day long about what we are going to and not going to do. Sometimes we make those decisions unconsciously but regardless, the decisions are being made. I suggest you get intentional it and "pick your fights" where it best serves you and your kids.

And remember, if it doesn't determine whether you are a "good mom" or not, then just decide by what you want to do and not do.

You get to decide! You are the mother here now! No parenting expert on instagram or even your own mom can decide for you. You know you, you know your kids, and your desires will lead you to your best life. So start paying attention to you! You can be your own parenting expert. You have The Almighty God in your corner! He will lead you and guide you and walk beside you. He gave you the exact kids that you need and that need you for the optimal earth life experience. Trust the process. And do what you feel called to do. And drop the war on the rest! 

You've got this Momma! You don't have to do it ALL, you ARE a Good Mom no matter what. 

Feliz Dia de los Muertos! (Almost) we love Halloween at our house and we love Day of the Dead now too (thanks to Coco!)

Today's episode doesn't actually have anything to do with Halloween or Dia De Los Muertos but it does have to do with Spanish. 

In Spanish, they have it figured out how to differentiate between "I Am" and "I Am" (see how we don't have this figured out in English?)

Find out what this has to do with Mothering in today's episode! And tap in on Spotify if you want to see the video!

At "Drop the War Life Coaching" we are all about dropping power struggles with your littles to create more peace in your parenting. 

In this episode I demonstrate how I successfully did that with my 3 year old this morning before preschool. 

Secret Number 1: There is NO "Mommy report card"
or in other words, your child's behavior does not reflect on you as a Mom.

You ARE a Good Mom and your kid is just being a kid! 

If you don't make their "misbehavior" mean that you're a terrible mom, then it doesn't have such weight. It wouldn't "drive you crazy" when they do what they do if it meant that it was just them being them. AND you are Still a Good Mom! 

You ARE a Good Mom and they ARE a Good Kid. And you both are humans doing the best you can. Now you can relax and wonder what's going on for them that is making them act this way and you can confidently handle the situation instead of feeling panic and needing them to stop asap so that you can feel better.
Feel better first by believing that you are a good mom, and then step in as that good mom that you know you are. 

Identity is sometimes yes or no and sometimes a little more complicated. 

Are you a Mom? Yes

Are you a good Mom? More complicated?..

It doesn't have to be. 

Try it on...

Are you a Mom? Yes

Are you a Good Mom? Yes! 

Say it with me now, "Yes! I AM a Good Mom!'

Drop the War on the connection between productivity and worth. 

You can not DO enough to prove to yourself that you ARE enough!

Believe that you ARE Good and then you will do good! 

You were not "productive enough" today AND you ARE Still a Good Mom! 

Today you get to meet my bestie, Sheri Brasier! She is a STYLE Coach! What?! Did you know that those exist?!
If you are in the thick of raising small little humans right now, like I am, you may wonder why you would need a style coach?
Well, maybe style was something that used to be important to you but in this new life and in this new body, you just don't seem to have the bandwidth to even begin to think about what to wear or how to accessorize it!
Maybe you just need someone to help with the "heavy lifting" beforehand so that you know what you're actually looking for before you even step into the store.
Sheri helps Moms like you with these scenarios and so much more!
She shares some practical tips with us today like how to actually planning in advance for our family photo shoots and to schedule a time that you don't have the kids with you to go try things on at the store.

Hyo North is a Spirituality Coach for women going through a separation and divorce. She helps her clients really learn to rely on the Lord Jesus Christ to get them through some of the toughest experiences they've ever had to navigate.
I love learning from Hyo's deep spiritual wisdom and in this episode we explore how Believing you ARE a Good Mom can help moms who are extra piled in guilt drop the shame that their brains want to offer them in their difficult circumstances navigating being a newly single mom. 

The main reason I find that people think that they are a "bad mom" is that they are not able to comply with a long list of expectations or "rules" that they have for themselves which qualifies them as a good mom. I think that this is all a big thought error. You ARE a Good Mom! Inherently. You just ARE. AND you do and don't do things that are not on that list. And it's ok.
One of the first things I do with my clients is get awareness of this "list of rules" that we have for ourselves and our kids. Our unrealistically long list of expectations is what is causing all the havoc in our lives. It's not that we are a bad mom, it's that we don't understand that we are a good mom no matter what, even if, and especially when. 

So break the rules. Who cares? Who made up this rule? Why should you comply with it? You're probably breaking it anyway but you're beating yourself up about it. Let's drop that second part and then we can work on "following" the rule if you decide it's actually something that is important to YOU. Not to your mom or your neighbor or sister or the author of that book you read. YOU! You are the mother here and you get to make the rules. Make the list short and doable and break all the rest! It is amazingly liberating!!

And as a bonus tangent concept in this episode I go on my rant about how you don't HAVE to do anything and if you are doing it, then you DO actually WANT to. 

Going along with "Letting him be him" another thought I love to remind myself (and my kids!) which immediately drops all the wars is

"She can think that if she wants to"

All arguments stop dead in their tracks when you use this phrase. 

The ONE simple secret on How to BE a Good Mom!

Watch the whole "talking presentation" video on Spotify!