Emotional Talk
By Jay Roberts
Join creator Jay Roberts as he discusses the science of emotions and how you can use your emotions to free your mind and even relieve yourself from deep emotional struggle.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
Emotional TalkApr 27, 2020
#28 - To Judge or Not Be Judged? - That Is The Question!
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
You're going to get judged by others It's a fact of life and one that you have to accept. But you know what...you’re going to judge other people too. You can’t help it. Even at a subconscious level, you are frequently making small judgements and assumptions about people throughout the day.
They don’t have to be mean judgements, or particularly large ones, but every single small detail of a person makes you create a picture that’s filled in with assumptions about that person’s life. But every single judgement you make is totally inaccurate, because it’s only based on your own experiences, that are probably totally different to the person you’re judging.
So on that idea that your judges of people are nothing more than imaginary, I want to focus on why people are so scared of being judged. Because after all, if a person’s judgements are only based on their own ideas of the world and don’t mean anything to you, then why are you so scared of being judged by other people?
#27 - Acceptance Is The Key To Self Improvement
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Imagine you’re going to take a trip to Los Angeles and you’re planning to set off from Houston. You get your map ready, plan your route and set off, but it turns out that you were actually in New York the whole time.
How quickly do you think you’re going to get confused and lost? Your self improvement journey is exactly the same! If you don’t accept where you are now, then you are never going to be able to properly and accurately plan your road to self improvement and recovery. By not accepting how much help you need, you will most likely end up trying to rush your progress and get completely derailed.
So today, I want to look at the journey to self improvement and why it’s so key to fully and completely accept your current situation and restrictions, so that you can have a fruitful and properly planned road to your mental recovery.
#26 - You Can Choose To Be Happy? Screw You!
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
WHY DON’T YOU CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?
This is probably a phrase that you have heard time and time again. I’ve been through bouts of depression and serious anxiety, but whenever I tried to talk about it with anyone, people would often ask why am I living like that. Why aren’t I choosing to be happy?
The question is insulting. If we could choose to be happy, then why would anyone live any other way? Why would we have depression, sadness, a worldwide mental health epidemic, if being happy was as simple as flipping a switch?
And it’s this subject that I want to touch on today and discover how we can work out a way towards happiness, if it isn’t simply a choice to be made.
#25 - Head Into The Storm of Your Emotions
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
It's natural to want to run from your problems and your fears.
But I’m going to say something that will sound ridiculous. Something very out of the ordinary. I think that you need to start heading into the storm of your emotions. Next time you have a terrible trauma or response, I don’t want you to avoid it and get through it.
I want you to face it head on and truly engage in the emotions you’re feeling. Because I believe and swear by the Emotional Trigger Method, that this is the only way to begin truly healing from your emotional traumas.
#24 - Why Postive Affirmations Don't Work
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
Most of us have tried those special mantras and positive affirmations to help us improve our lives. While so many self help teachers and books will tell you that positive affirmations are a great way to improve yourself, I have some bad news.
Behavioural research shows that they rarely ever work and the reason is simple. There are often underlying unconscious feelings and traumas that are holding you back, which no positive messaging is going to change.
But I don’t want to be negative, so today I want to talk about positive affirmations and how you can put them aside and start discovering techniques that can actually improve your life and make your more productive and happy.
#23 - Wall To Wall Assholes
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
One of my favourite writers Stewart Wilde once said: "Thank you lord for sending me wall to wall assholes,I'm gonna learn so much about myself". This is the basis of today’s episode.
I want to discuss the wall to wall assholes that you most likely have in your own life, and explore how the things that you hate in others can teach you so much about yourself.
#22 - Mirror Mirror On The Wall
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There’s a very popular concept in psychology called the Mirror. It’s the idea that all our thoughts and feelings about the world are simply a mirror of what we think and feel about ourselves.
In this episode, I want to explore your own personal mirror. The reflection that you are projecting onto the world, that is affecting every thought you have.
And today, we’re especially going to look at how your negative feelings towards others might just be a mirror into the things that you dislike about yourself and how you can go about changing them.
#21 - How Can I Stop Taking My Baggage Into My New Relationships?
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
Trying not to bring emotional baggage from past relationships into new ones is one of the most common issues that we see when doing our EMT sessions.
Whether it’s a new romantic relationship or a friendship, it can be hard to let the past go and truly learn to trust someone again after being hurt by someone. But assuming that every new relationship will be the same as your old ones and letting the treacheries of the past cloud your judgement today is the quickest way to get in the way of your potential future happiness.
It’s unfair on your new partner and it’s self destructive, so let’s take a look at how we can save you from a lifetime of pain, based on past hurts.
#20 - They Upset Me!
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
Following on from yesterday’s episode, I want to talk about how shifting the blame when you get upset can help you deal with the negative people in your life.
“They Upset Me”. It’s something I hear all the time, especially from my own kids, but it’s a phrase that is so quick to blame the other party and put them at fault.
Now I want you to think of it, not as they upset YOU, but that “YOU were upset by something that they said”. Do you see the difference. One is someone else’s fault, and in the second example, you take responsibility for your own emotional reaction.
And taking responsibility for your own reactions can do wonders in giving you a thicker skin and helping you move past the insults of others, to become truly self improved and independent.
#19 - It Is NOT Your Fault!
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It's Not Your Fault! It Just Isn't!
We have been constantly told it's our fault. We live in a blame culture now. You see it at work and at home. Maybe we blame others, or we are always being blamed for things that go wrong.
I know I have done it. Maybe you have too?
In this episode I want to explain how its not your fault, you aren't to blame for the things you do or say but how you can flick the switch, with a simple mindset shift to start to feel better and begin or continue your journey to a better you.
#18 - The Ultimate Knowledge Is Self Knowledge
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
I’m a huge Bruce Lee fan, so I wanted to kick off this week’s topic with a bit of wisdom from Bruce Lee himself.
“The Ultimate Knowledge Is Self Knowledge” I learned this quote when I was in my teens, but it wasn’t until I was in my late 20s that I truly understood the power of this quote and it’s one of the things that helped me go on to create the Emotional Trigger Method.
It’s this insight which can help you achieve your dreams, whether they’re finding love, hitting your career goals or discovering your passions - by learning about yourself, you can learn how to achieve what you want most.
#17 - Why Self Awareness Isn't Emotional Self Awareness
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
Self awareness has become a new hot topic and people everywhere are discovering the benefits that can be learned from being self aware of your own flaws and strengths.
However, I find that self awareness is being taught only within the realm of your abilities and talents - the things that you can do. In this episode I want to flip the coin and take a look at the lesser talked about sibling to self awareness: Emotional Self Awareness.
Let’s explore why emotional self awareness is much more fulfilling and rewarding for you to be able to open up and be truly vulnerable and honest with your loved ones.
#16 - How Can I Be Vulnerable? (from a man's perspective)
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
In today’s episode, I want to talk about vulnerability.
And I particularly want to talk about what it means to be vulnerable from a man’s perspective for other men. As men, we’re taught to be very stoic and never appear weak, but the fact of the matter is that this is a very unhealthy and unsatisfying way to live, and the male suicide numbers absolutely prove that without a shadow of a doubt.
So if you’re struggling to be vulnerable and don’t know how to do it, then take a listen and let’s talk about what it means to be vulnerable and get rid of the stigma.
#15 - Should You Ever Message Back Angry?
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
One of the most common questions I’ve been asked by the people I’ve worked with is “Should I ever message back when I’m Angry?”
And the simple answer is, no! However, discovering the root cause of your anger and learning coping methods in order to resist writing back, even when you’re blinded with rage, is a tough barrier to overcome before you can effectively control your feelings.
In this episode, I want to talk about how you can avoid writing back in a fit of rage and instead hold off for another day when you’ve calmed down. It’ll do you the world of good and save you from a life of headache.
#14 - Why Do I Get So Upset When Someone Ignores Me?
Being ignored is one of the biggest pet peeves for so many people.
But at emotional talk, we know that there’s always a deeper reason for why things annoy us more than they should.
So often, it’s a deep seated and hidden trauma or bad experience from our own lives that colours our current experience and makes us react a lot stronger and more negatively than we otherwise would to very small affronts.
In this episode, we’re looking at a question that many listneres have asked us: Why do I get so upset when people ignore me? And let’s explore if maybe the problem lies within your own past and self esteem.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#13 - Help! My Boss Has Annoyed Me
So your boss has annoyed you. Said something that’s really gotten under your skin.
Maybe it was about work?
Maybe it was just the way they said it?
But what we’re going to explore today is going to shock you. Maybe it’s not just your boss that is bothering you. Maybe it’s underlying thoughts, feelings and low self esteem which are making their words sting a lot more than they otherwise would.
In this episode I want to explore this idea and show you how you can have patience, remove yourself from situations when your boss annoys you with something they criticise you with, and get a better perspective to love yourself and not let them get to you.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#12 - What To Do During A Panic Attack
Panic attacks can feel like the end of the world when you’re in the middle of one. As a regular sufferer of panic attacks, I know exactly how bad they are and how much they can disrupt your day to day.
So in this episode I want to bring the panic down a bit and really put panic attacks in perspective. They might seem like the end of the world, but they really don’t have to be. So in this episode I want to take a look at how you can copy with your panic attacks and start living your life free from the worst of your panic attacks.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#11 - How I Reversed My Fear of Heights In Just 15 Minutes
In this episode I want to explore my own personal experiences of using the Emotional Trigger Method in my everyday life to stop myself from falling into the trap of losing out on making precious memories in my life.
This is also a story of me preventing my own fears and anxieties of heights being passed onto my son, and instead using the Emotional Trigger Method in order to give us a special memory that we remember to this day.
If you have a fear of heights or other irrational phobias and anxieties, then this may just be how you get rid of them in just 15 minutes.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#10 - Why Do We Cry At Movies?
Everyone cries at movies. It’s one of the safest and most socially acceptable ways for people to let our their emotions. But have you ever thought about what you cry at in movies?
Maybe it’s a romance scene?
Maybe it’s a domestic drama?
Maybe it’s someone reconciling with their parents?
The things we cry at in movies (and music as well for that matter) can be used as signposts to guide us to the things in life that really bother us. So in this episode I want to teach you how you can use the things that make you cry in movies to explore your own traumas and work on improving your emotional health.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#9 - How To Avoid Avoiding Your Problems!
One of the simplest ways for people to deal with their emotional traumas is to simply avoid them.
We all do it, and yet while avoiding your problems often feels like the best response, mostly because it feels the nicest, we need to stop searching for the easiest and most pleasurable outcome.
You can only solve your problems by facing them head on, so in this episode I want to discuss how you can start standing up to your traumas and past experiences, and drastically improve your future, by showing you how to avoid avoiding your problems and triggers.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#8 - How You Can Reverse Your OCD
In this episode of Emotional Talk, I want to explore just how effective the Emotional Trigger Method can be in treating a range of issues that people experience every single day.
One of our most breakthrough examples ever was a patient who suffered from terrible OCD that completely ran his life.
In this episode I want to discuss that case and walk through exactly how the Emotional Trigger Method severely reduced an issue that he’d been seeking help with for years, and decreased it hugely in just under a week.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#7 - My Kids Annoy Me!
We've talked before about how our worst habits are the easiest things to be passed down from generation to generation. In the same way that we receive our shame and guilt from our parents, those same negative emotions that we deal with all our lives are passed onto our own kids.
In this episode, we're going to look at why your kids annoy you. Don't worry, it's totally normal for your kids to annoy you, I know mine do.
But the important thing to identify is, why do they annoy you? The truth may surprise and shock you, because the real reasons why your kids annoy you, is that they are doing all the things that you hate about yourself.
Join me for the the podcast and we'll explore just why when you get angry at your kids, you're really just getting angry at yourself.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#6 - Is Crying Good For You?
This is an episode that always puts the men off.
While the phrase is currently "Man Up", it should be "Man Up And Cry". Trust me, a lot of men would benefit from a cry here and there.
There's a strange belief that crying is bad, which is example of some of that shame and guilt that we were talking about in an earlier episode.
In fact, there's a tonne of evidence to suggest that crying is a great way to relieve stress and depression, and its people avoiding having a good cry which is the unnatural response, not the other way around.
So today we're going to look at how crying is good for you and how you can start using it shame-free to relieve stress and start feeling better.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#5 - Emotional Triggers
We all know the phrase "Don't Get Triggered!"
If you spend any time around teenagers and kids like I do with my own kids, then it'll be a phrase you hear a lot.
But outside of just a way for kids to rile each other up, it's interesting that this word and idea has started to appear in their vocabulary. People getting triggered and feeling negative emotions certainly wasn't anything taken seriously when I was their age and it's great to see that these ideas for negative emotions having a negative impact on people's lives and the awareness of that becoming such a common turn of phrase.
In this episode, I want to explore what being triggered means and how it's a great word to explain what we've been talking about so far when we refer to negative emotional reactions to past events (getting triggered).
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#4 - Shame & Guilt
Today I want to talk about the King and Queen of emotional vulnerability - Shame and Guilt.
Every other reaction and every negative label we have, stems from shame and guilt. Shame and Guilt are particularly nasty because they are one of the most prominent things that get passed down between generations and make their way down the family tree, to affect your life in such an invisible, yet such a defining way.
And it's those invisible effects that I want to talk about today with you.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#3 - How Emotions Connect To Events In Your Life
Now that we've talked about our emotions and why they're important, I want to take a look at how emotions connect to events in our lives - to explore how we pick up the emotional responses we get to certain memories or events.
We'll also talk about how emotions connected to events can stay buried and hidden from view, only to emerge much later in your life (and sometimes not in the prettiest ways). We're going to become emotional archaeologists and start sweeping away the hidden emotions that are connected to events in our lives and try to understand why we have buried emotions that are triggered by past experiences.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#2 - What Are Emotions?
What are emotions? It seems like an easy question, but if we dont understand what our emotions are, how they work and where our emotional reactions come from - then we can't control them.
In this episode, I want to talk about our emotions and what the science and evidence says about our emotions and why we even have emotions in the first place.
Once you understand why you have emotions and what causes them (especially strong outbursts of emotions), then you can get on the road to controlling your emotional outbursts.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.
#1 - Let's Talk About My Backstory
Welcome to Emotional Talk, where we talk about emotions in a way you've probably never thought about before.
I want to talk about your emotions, but before that, you have to know a little about my backstory and why you should bother listening to someone like me.
To kick off our emotional talk, I'm going to go into my own backstory and detail how I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, and how I managed to pull myself back from it and began my journey to discover this amazing method that helps you learn and master a most amazing life skill using your emotions to free you from the deep struggle inside.
To find out more, join us at www.emotionaltriggermethod.com.