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The Toxicity Survival Guide

The Toxicity Survival Guide

By Dr. Louise Williams

Tips, Ideas, and Explanations for how to survive toxic people from a philosopher's perspective.
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Is healing content on social media exploitative?

The Toxicity Survival Guide Mar 14, 2023

00:00
24:19
Is healing content on social media exploitative?

Is healing content on social media exploitative?

Come with me as I wrestle with the realization that creating raw vulnerable healing content on social media can be both healing and harmful. I have no clear answers in this episode, just a real exploration of the reality of being a survivor content creator online. 
Mar 14, 202324:19
Why you need to know yourself to make hard choices

Why you need to know yourself to make hard choices

In this episode I explore the ancient wisdom of "Know Thyself." I discuss exactly what this phrase means, and why this is a critical step in making difficult decisions. I then show how difficult decisions in my own life have been much easier to make because I did the work to know myself. 
Mar 07, 202326:08
Why cycle breakers don't know nothing about philosophy (Spoiler: its the philosophers' fault)

Why cycle breakers don't know nothing about philosophy (Spoiler: its the philosophers' fault)

I am spilling the tea on my colleagues! In this episode I explain why you tend to see a lot more psychology in cycle breaker spaces than you see philosophy, and what I am doing about the situation.  Check out my new work with me page: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/work-with-me  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dr-louise-williams Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.louisewilliams
Feb 21, 202329:00
Hang on a sec, what exactly is this philosophy thing?

Hang on a sec, what exactly is this philosophy thing?

Its taken me a long time to try to tackle this question head on here on the podcast since there really are so many different ways people define philosophy. However, I am finally laying out exactly how I think about this in my own work.  I break down the two main ways to understand exactly what philosophy is and where I think the real magic of philosophy lies for cycle breakers. 
Feb 14, 202325:06
Philosophy's not just for survivors

Philosophy's not just for survivors

After some hard thinking about what the real secret sauce is to philosophy, some changes are coming to Empowerment Through Thought. Inspired by the struggles with flying monkeys, I'll continue to serve my fellow survivors and call in all those seeking to go against the norms.  Website: www.empowermentthroughthought.com  Contact me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Feb 07, 202328:08
Philosophy as the Untapped healing tool

Philosophy as the Untapped healing tool

There is trend in the healing space to reject psychology's talk therapy and embrace that healing must come at the level of the subconscious. In this episode, I explore how we can acknowledge the limitations of psychology's talk therapy without necessarily moving to the much more vulnerable space of the subconscious. I share how philosophy can is another way to engage in conscious dialogue that can produce extensive healing. And I share why I think philosophy has some intense benefits over psychology's approach to talk therapy.  Get the details on the Grey Rock Masterclass here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MzDm6GHRwBcurFFdejcFK45-xMLkjzKKVveHk7e6LJQ/edit?usp=sharing  Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Jan 18, 202334:33
How to deal with suffering as a survivor of narcissistic abuse

How to deal with suffering as a survivor of narcissistic abuse

Suffering follows us wherever we are on the survivor journey. We might as well learn how to live well within its presence. In this episode, I share some of Marcus Auerilius' thoughts on how to deal with inevitable suffering.  Learn more about the Grey Rock Masterclass here Catch me on IG: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com 
Jan 10, 202325:11
Let's Deep Dive Into Grey Rock

Let's Deep Dive Into Grey Rock

You may have heard of grey rock, but I bet you haven't heard of Stoic Philosophy or Marcus Auerilius. In this episode, I explain why understanding the philosophic foundation of this popular technique for navigating toxic people can help you immensely. I share how it helped me on my journey and why it can help  you deal with both guilt and anger.  Learn more about the Grey Rock Masterclass here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MzDm6GHRwBcurFFdejcFK45-xMLkjzKKVveHk7e6LJQ/edit?usp=sharing  Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Jan 05, 202327:55
The Holidays Can Be Whatever The Hell You Want Them To Be

The Holidays Can Be Whatever The Hell You Want Them To Be

I pull insights on the value of listening to yourself as I reflect on what the holidays are looking like for me. Its a weird season and here are some good reasons to think that is totally okay.  Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Dec 21, 202225:45
5 Months Since My Toxic Father Died - its affecting so much

5 Months Since My Toxic Father Died - its affecting so much

Started playing with my current angst in the form of a fiction piece and I have discovered that it is wildly difficult to live in the peace that so many of us strive for on the journey.  The post on IG that I refer to is here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cl9z_a3jGnr/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Dec 15, 202229:06
There is no such thing as "Fully Healed"

There is no such thing as "Fully Healed"

We often strive to be the version of ourselves that are no longer burdened by the challenges of long-term abuse, but this idealization of our fully healed selves may be causing more harm than good. I explain why I think that there is no such thing as being fully healed and what survivors can focus on instead.  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com 
Dec 08, 202222:33
You do not have to make progress on the healing journey

You do not have to make progress on the healing journey

Survivors often assume that they are busted and in need of immediate healing. In this episode I invite you to challenge that assumption and get really curious about when it is appropriate to seek real deep growth on your healing journey and when it is best to switch into a maintenance phase. I discuss how this perspective shift can especially serve us as we are making our choices about navigating this holiday season. 
Nov 17, 202230:10
Why Social Media Might Be Hurting Your Healing Journey

Why Social Media Might Be Hurting Your Healing Journey

Have you ever thought about how much power the algorithm has when it comes to your healing work? The more we rely on social media to help us on our healing journey, the more susceptible we are to the preferences of this robot.  In this episode I explore the potential shortcomings of social media as a tool for healing from abuse and what you can do about it.  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email Me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com 
Nov 10, 202233:37
Learning to Welcome In the Feelings: Publicly Crying as a Survivor

Learning to Welcome In the Feelings: Publicly Crying as a Survivor

Learning to allow emotions that once brought us a lot of heartache back into our lives in the wake of healing from toxic people can be a CHALLENGE. In this episode I reflect on my own recent experience crying in a public space and what us survivors can do who want to learn to heal our relationship to these formerly dangerous feelings.  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought.com Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com 
Nov 01, 202227:48
How To Let Go Of the Ghosts of Your Past

How To Let Go Of the Ghosts of Your Past

This episode is all about the identity crisis that comes up for us survivors of narcissistic abuse. Often we cling to old parts of ourselves since that served us well in navigating abusive environments, but as we make progress on the healing journey, we can struggle to make sense of these older parts of ourselves and the new folks that we are becoming.  As a fellow survivor currently going through some big identity shifts, I am sharing some of what I plan to do to help myself make peace with these ghosts from my past. You can follow my journey through this space over on my Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Oct 25, 202231:16
Witnessing My Toxic Father's Final Words

Witnessing My Toxic Father's Final Words

In this episode, I talk about the final communication my toxic father ever sent me. I discuss a particular "witnessing" technique that I have been using to help ease the absolute horror and dismay his final cruel words have created in me.  I do not share any direct quotes from the letter, but I do discuss death and many of the harsh realities sacrifices we make to toxic parents.  Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought.com 
Oct 18, 202231:52
Finding Freedom in the Forbidden: Lean in to what toxic people ruled out

Finding Freedom in the Forbidden: Lean in to what toxic people ruled out

Ready for some fun healing! In this episode, I invite you to consider the stuff that toxic people forbid you from doing. I also share how this has been quite liberating on my own journey, including some spicy talk on the paranormal.  When you are ready for some one-on-one support, reach out  Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Oct 11, 202226:26
Why you need Radical Curiosity on your healing journey

Why you need Radical Curiosity on your healing journey

Radical Curiosity can help you transform our tendency to judge ourselves harshly into something fun and playful. As survivors of narcissistic abuse, we internalized a lot of the negative judgements that toxic people handed out to us. Through radical curiosity we can let go of these habits to judge ourselves so harshly and instead learn to explore and play with ideas. I think that this is essential in our healing process.  Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com IG: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Oct 04, 202228:30
Losing Friends on the healing journey

Losing Friends on the healing journey

In this very raw episode, I share with you my recent experience of losing a friendship and how this too is part of the healing journey as survivors of narcissistic abuse.  Email: Dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Sep 27, 202236:15
Permission to Feel GOOD as an Abuse Survivor

Permission to Feel GOOD as an Abuse Survivor

Sometimes feeling ok isn't enough. At some point on your healing journey, you are likely to want to actually feel GOOD. But how the heck do we accomplish that after navigating so much darkness? I share my recently developed ideas on how exactly to do that.  Learn about working one-on-one with me here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/work-with-me Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com 
Sep 20, 202232:01
How being guilt-free helped me at the memorial service

How being guilt-free helped me at the memorial service

Much to my surprise, the memorial service of my toxic father was overall a good experience. In this episode I recap how the event went and unpack some of the reasons I think it was an overall good experience.  If you would like to join me for the 5 day guilt-free boundaries challenge you can do so here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/guilt-free-challenge 
Aug 11, 202231:51
Deciding to go to the Memorial

Deciding to go to the Memorial

In this episode I walk you through my reasoning process to attend the memorial service for my recently deceased toxic father. Consider this a sort of case study of one survivor's journey through this part of the experience of being the adult child of a toxic person. 
Jul 12, 202232:05
On the passing of my father

On the passing of my father

My first thoughts on some big takeaways from the recent passing of my father. It turns out the way people said this experience would go were wrong...
Jun 21, 202232:04
Dealing with Loneliness as a Survivor

Dealing with Loneliness as a Survivor

Loneliness and isolation is one of the hardest things to deal with on our survivor journey. The bigger our boundaries get the more distant we can feel from the folks around us. In this episode, I talk about how I am working to ensure that us survivors never have to feel lonely again! Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought
Jun 14, 202225:43
Self-Worth On The Survivor Journey

Self-Worth On The Survivor Journey

Toxic people taught us directly that we are not worthy of goodness and beauty in our lives. Unfortunately, survivors have likely interanlized these messages and are likely to have self-worth issues popping up in unexpected places. Listen to this episode to hear what I'm talking about and what you can do about it! Join the waitlist for my new survivor experience: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/brand-new-survivor-experience Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Jun 07, 202229:47
Shutting down my toxic father's house

Shutting down my toxic father's house

Hot of the heels of shutting down this house, I am bringing you a recap and the biggest lessons I learned along the way. If you have worried about what it will be like shutting down the house of a toxic person, this episode is for you.  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
May 31, 202230:55
Body Shame and Toxic People

Body Shame and Toxic People

This episode original published in September 2021 covers such an important topic that I really wanted to bring it back to y'all. It is was a very difficult episode for me to originally come up with, and it hits on topics that are so so important in the abuse recovery journey. Hope you enjoy! Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
May 03, 202226:40
What the heck is philosophical counseling?!

What the heck is philosophical counseling?!

In this episode I share a piece I wrote on explaining what exactly philosophical counseling is. I explore how it differs from mental health services and how it compares to life-coaching.  You can read the original piece here https://theprofessorisin.com/2022/03/31/what-the-heck-is-philosophical-counseling/?fbclid=IwAR3rbDoHHfHPAKSnly6U0ZMwlMVv4KXWBTxp5OFsea0WtjrybKqcF4dFbc4 Find me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
Apr 26, 202221:54
Forgiveness really *is* optional

Forgiveness really *is* optional

After a recent explosion on Instagram, it was clearly time to do a deep dive on the controversial topic of forgiveness. Many folks in the survivor community seem to think that you must forgive toxic people in order to heal. In this episode, I bring in the work of Aristotle, Kant, Hume, and a contemporary philosopher named John Kekes to show why forgiveness really is optional.  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Resources I used in this show:  Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy Entry: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/forgiveness/ Kekes, John. “Blame versus Forgiveness.” The Monist 92, no. 4 (2009): 488–506. http://www.jstor.org/stable/27904141.
Apr 19, 202231:00
Not everyone has the privilege of no-contact

Not everyone has the privilege of no-contact

While the standard advice for dealing with toxic people is to go no-contact, what enables a person to be able to do that often depends on a bunch of things that are outside their control. In this episode I explore how privilege plays into the decision to go no-contact, and why those folks who are not able to do so can still make a lot of progress on their journey.  If you are ready for some support navigating toxic people in your life, reach out to me Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Apr 12, 202228:10
Why anger at toxic family is a good thing

Why anger at toxic family is a good thing

This episode I turn to the wisdom of Aristotle to help us unpack why anger is totally good and appropriate for us survivors of toxic family. I break down Aristotle's views on when anger is good into three main criteria and show how almost everyone who has experienced long term abuse at the hands of toxic family will benefit from being angry.  Let me know what you think of this episode:  www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought dr.louise@empowermentthorughthought.com
Apr 05, 202228:46
Why an apology still wouldn't give you closure

Why an apology still wouldn't give you closure

So many survivors just want to officially close the chapter on this toxic relationship. Many of us imagine that if we just got an apology from the toxic person we could move forward with our lives. In this episode, I explore why this apology, even if you got it, is unlikely to bring you what you are looking for.  Email: dr.louise @ empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Mar 30, 202227:59
What about my siblings still living with our toxic parents?

What about my siblings still living with our toxic parents?

It is hard to figure out what the right thing to do is when it comes to siblings. Whether you are navigating a younger sibling who is still legally in the custody of toxic parents or your adult sibling is acting as a flying monkey for your toxic parents, these situations are ethically complex! In this episode I give you three big ways that you can successfully navigate this situation.  If you want to know more about philosophical counseling reach out:  Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Mar 22, 202233:01
Why assuming parents do the best they can is harmful to survivors

Why assuming parents do the best they can is harmful to survivors

We hear it all the time - "Don't talk bad about your parents, they were only doing their best."  And it is a bunch of BS. Here is a deep dive look at why these sorts of comments are harmful.  Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: @empowermentthroughthought
Mar 16, 202228:01
Why being an overachieving survivor can slow down your healing process

Why being an overachieving survivor can slow down your healing process

Overachieving survivors are amazing at getting focused to achieve their goals. But sometimes this ability can create a challenge in our pursuit of becoming a thriving survivor. I explore what those challenges look like and what you can do about it.  Contact me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Mar 08, 202230:53
How do I handle being triggered?

How do I handle being triggered?

It can be very disruptive to be triggered as a survivor. In this episode, I talk about why triggers are hard to handle and also why they can actually help us advance on our healing journey. The answer might surprise you!  Contact me: dr.louise @ empowermentthroughthought.com  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Mar 01, 202223:42
Its ok to overreact when boundary setting

Its ok to overreact when boundary setting

Three big ideas on why you should be setting those boundaries even if it is coming from a place of overreacting.  Grab the boundary setting guide here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/GuidetoNoContact Chat with me over on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Feb 22, 202225:59
Why Survivors Struggle to Feel The Love

Why Survivors Struggle to Feel The Love

It is not irrational to be suspicious of love for survivors. We have tons of lived experience to support the fact that love is not trustworthy and we have nervous systems that reminds us that love has historically been dangerous for us. The good news is we absolutely can learn to authentically feel the love.  Learn about working with me on my website: www.empowermentthroughthought.com 
Feb 15, 202226:20
Should I be bitter toward toxic people?

Should I be bitter toward toxic people?

I explore whether it make sense to be bitter and give some concrete tips on what you can do if you decide you want to let go of bitterness.  Learn more about working with me: www.empowermentthroughthought.com/work-with-me
Feb 08, 202224:31
Why you need to mourn the loss of the Toxic Person

Why you need to mourn the loss of the Toxic Person

Learn more about working with me: www.empowermentthroughthought.com/work-with-me
Feb 01, 202226:02
How do I get my partner to understand that my family member is toxic?

How do I get my partner to understand that my family member is toxic?

This is tricky thing that many survivors have to deal with. I've got some concrete things you can do as a survivor to help your partner make the realizations that you have already discovered.  Website: www.empowermentthroughthought.com  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Jan 25, 202230:13
Why Seeking External Validation, Even From A Therapist, Isn't Helpful

Why Seeking External Validation, Even From A Therapist, Isn't Helpful

This one might be controversial, but that supposed *need* to have somebody else tell you that you did the right thing might not be helping you on your healing journey.  Learn more about working with me here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/work-with-me Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Jan 18, 202228:04
Doing Hard Things WITHOUT Retraumatizing Ourselves: The Power of Choice

Doing Hard Things WITHOUT Retraumatizing Ourselves: The Power of Choice

Toxic people abused us by controlling us, so turning around and exerting control over ourselves doesn't seem like a good plan. But then how do we push ourselves to do stuff outside of our comfort zone? The answer lies in recognizing our agency and really getting in touch with all the many choices that are available to us.  Work with me: www.empowermentthroughthought.com/work-with-me Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Jan 11, 202227:39
Why survivors should ditch the diet and focus on LISTENING to our bodies

Why survivors should ditch the diet and focus on LISTENING to our bodies

The glories of January are upon us and so comes the horrible entourage of diet ads and exhausting exercise regimes. Here are three big reasons survivors should think twice before the jump on board the diet train.  Want to know more about HOW to listen to your body? Join us over at The Survivor's Plaza over on Facebook for a free training on doing exactly that. 
Jan 04, 202224:01
What To Tune Out in the New Year Hype As A Survivor

What To Tune Out in the New Year Hype As A Survivor

Three big things to be aware of as you move through the New Year Hype for 2022. These ideas can keep you from undermining your own healing work on this survivor journey.  Survivor's Roadmap: www.empowermentthroughthought.com/roadmap Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Dec 28, 202128:31
Why NOT spending holidays with toxic people is the right thing to do

Why NOT spending holidays with toxic people is the right thing to do

Three big reasons that you might be doing the morally right thing by choosing not to spend your holidays with toxic people.  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise @ empowermentthroughthought.com
Dec 21, 202126:46
Its OK to feel "meh" about the holidays

Its OK to feel "meh" about the holidays

I cover three big reasons it is totally ok as a survivor to not be into the holidays. Survivors are on a complex journey and sometimes that holiday energy hits us differently depending on where we are in our healing journey.  Be sure to get your complementary session booked.  Instagram: @empowermentthroughthought Email: dr louise @ empowermentthroughthought.com
Dec 15, 202123:28
Red Flags for Working With Therapist, Coaches, and more!

Red Flags for Working With Therapist, Coaches, and more!

Inspired by a recent experience of having another coach steal my work over on Instagram, this episode covers red flags for working with professionals on your healing journey.  If you have been considering hoping on a complementary call with me, do so here.  If you want to join me over on Instagram, do so here. 
Dec 07, 202128:58
How to heal your relationship to the holidays

How to heal your relationship to the holidays

After explaining how I am not totally healed when it comes to the holidays myself, I explain how I have done a bit better with Christmas. I lay out three big things you can do in order to heal your relationship to the holidays, even if you are still actively dealing with toxic people in your face.  Grab the masterclass here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/offers/Tp9PjLDo/checkout  Hit me up on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Dec 01, 202127:03
How To Deal With Toxic Family Dinner Conversation

How To Deal With Toxic Family Dinner Conversation

Three big strategies for getting through that dreaded holiday meal.  If you are looking for more support, be sure to check out "Surviving the Holidays: How to Deal When You Are Navigating Toxic People"  You can check it out here In this episode, I mention a reel over on my IG, you can find it here Email me: dr.louise @ empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought 
Nov 23, 202128:22
How to talk to kids about toxic people

How to talk to kids about toxic people

Toxic people are super challenging to deal with as an adult. They can be even more challenging to deal with as a kid. In this episode, I reflect on some of the things I would have liked as a child of toxic parents, and some concrete things you can do to help the kids in your life navigate these difficult topics.  Surviving The Holidays Masterclass:  Email me: dr.louise @ empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Facebook www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivorsplaza 
Nov 16, 202127:55
Why you need to stop learning about toxic people

Why you need to stop learning about toxic people

So its a bit controversial, but honestly, I believe becoming an expert in how psychologists unpack toxic people is not the best move as survivor. Be sure to listen to the end to hear what I think is a much better strategy for survivors.  Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Nov 09, 202121:29
What I Wish I'd Known Before Going No-Contact

What I Wish I'd Known Before Going No-Contact

Three things I wish I knew before setting those big boundaries. The last one is so so important so be sure to listen till the end.  Catch me on Instagram www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Sign up for my emails here https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/ig-link-in-bio Shoot me an email directly dr.louise @ empowermentthroughthought.com
Nov 02, 202123:19
Dreaming as Resistance: Why envisioning a better moment is a Survivor Necessity

Dreaming as Resistance: Why envisioning a better moment is a Survivor Necessity

You might not have thought of it, but taking time to envision a future where we are no longer under the control of toxic people is so important. This act of dreaming can really help us undermine the power of toxic people and reclaim our agency along the way. I this episode I cover why dreaming is so important and some concrete ideas to help you jump start your own dreaming habit. 
Oct 26, 202125:49
12 Years No Contact: 0 Regrets

12 Years No Contact: 0 Regrets

One reason we sometimes hold back from going no-contact is this fear that someday we will regret cutting these folks out of our lives. The first person I ever went no-contact with was my toxic mother. Its been 12 years since that day and I can honestly report to you, I have never regretted it for a minute. I hurt a lot but its not because I miss her - it is because I miss having someone to be the mother role in my life. Take a listen to learn more about my journey and the things to look out for as you walk your own path with toxic people. 
Oct 19, 202124:41
Why Meditating And Staying Busy Aren't The Solution To Healing From Toxic People

Why Meditating And Staying Busy Aren't The Solution To Healing From Toxic People

Meditating and staying busy might have a role to play in the healing journey, but in general they aren't the end all be all solution that some folks make them out to be. In this episode, I pull on my background in Buddhist philosophy and my lived experience as a survivor to do a bit of a reality check on these methods.  Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivorsplaza Email: dr.louise @ empowermentthroughthought.com 
Oct 12, 202128:30
When Is It Time To Start Thinking No-Contact?

When Is It Time To Start Thinking No-Contact?

You hear all over the internet that you need to go no-contact the second you realize you are dealing with a toxic person. But that just isn't realistic. In this episode, I cover four indications that you may be ready to start exploring going no-contact.  Download the Quiz: Are You Ready To Seriously Explore If No-Contact Is For You? www.empowermentthroughthought.com/Quiz
Oct 05, 202120:14
Should We Ever Meet with Toxic People?

Should We Ever Meet with Toxic People?

Are there any circumstances where the potential harm to us would be justified? I cover three conditions that might make it appropriate for you to have a meeting with a toxic person. There are a lot of variables to sort out to determine whether this is the right sort of move for you.  Hop on a complementary zoom call here: https://app.squarespacescheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=23235526&appointmentType=24141218 Join The Survivor's plaza here: www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivorsplaza
Sep 28, 202122:45
Body Shame & Toxic People

Body Shame & Toxic People

Its pretty common for toxic people to use body shaming as a tool to exert control over us. In this episode, I explore how the norms of diet culture actually help toxic people cause us harm and the challenge this creates for us survivors on our healing journey. 
Sep 21, 202123:58
The Healing Roadmap for Survivors of Toxic People

The Healing Roadmap for Survivors of Toxic People

I asked over on my IG if folks had a general roadmap of what the journey looks like for survivors of toxic people. Today I share with you my first thoughts on what that journey looks like. Turns out its 7 steps and if you think I missed anything or have any feedback shoot me an email dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com 
Sep 14, 202123:17
Things NOT To Say To Survivors of Toxic People

Things NOT To Say To Survivors of Toxic People

After a bad experience with someone who was supposed to help me, I started to think about what things people should just never say to the survivors of toxic people. This episode is about three of them! Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com 
Sep 09, 202121:10
Why Successful Survivors have to be Jerks, at least sometimes

Why Successful Survivors have to be Jerks, at least sometimes

So maybe its not actually *being* a jerk, but it can definitely feel like being a jerk. Most survivors tend to be people who care a lot about taking care of the folks around them. While that is a beautiful thing, reclaiming our agency post-abuse sometimes requires stepping outside of that role.  Struggling to navigate reclaiming your identity? Join my community to get support from fellow survivor Wanting to go no-contact but not sure how? Check out my free guide to going no-contact here
Aug 19, 202122:49
Are you REALLY attracting toxic people?

Are you REALLY attracting toxic people?

Three reasons to think the reason you keep finding yourself surrounded by toxic people has less to do with something fundamental about you and more to do with our tendency to seek out the familiar.
Aug 11, 202118:16
Are you a High Functioning Survivor?

Are you a High Functioning Survivor?

I lay out three criteria for being a high functioning survivor. I also share several reflection on how the survivor community needs and deserves more vocabulary to characterize their experiences.
Aug 04, 202125:05
Survivors of toxic people face EXTRAordinary circumstances

Survivors of toxic people face EXTRAordinary circumstances

I get real vulnerable here and talk about three big reasons every survivor should be so freaking proud of the ridiculously difficult stuff that we've all had to navigate. While some of these may feel basic, they really can be super important to keep in mind on our journey.
Jul 27, 202125:60
Is it our job to worry about stigmatizing mental illness?

Is it our job to worry about stigmatizing mental illness?

Survivors are often told that they shouldn't share their stories because it is stigmatizing to folks who have the same mental illnesses as their abuser. In this episode, I explore whether that has any merit and what, if any, conditions survivors should be open to revising their beliefs about toxic people.  Join The Survivors Plaza: www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivorsplaza Follow me over on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought 
Jul 20, 202121:11
Becoming an Evidence Based Survivor

Becoming an Evidence Based Survivor

When you can balance being data driven while honoring your feelings, you have a powerful method for navigating toxic people. I contrast this method with being an emotion based survivor and discuss three reasons being an Evidence Based Survivor can help you on your journey.  Reach out on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Join The Survivor's Plaza: www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivorsplaza
Jul 13, 202122:01
What to do when you are frustrated that you aren't over the toxic person yet

What to do when you are frustrated that you aren't over the toxic person yet

After sharing a bit on the timelines of my journey through my toxic parents, I share three things you can do to soothe the frustration we all feel about our speed of recovery from toxic people.  Join The Survivor's Plaza https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivorsplaza Follow us on Instagram www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Jul 06, 202118:47
Building Community Together

Building Community Together

Check out the brand new Facebook Group Here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivorsplaza Get the details on the clubhouse July 2nd 1pm Eastern here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CQi3xrKDgZd/ 
Jun 29, 202109:14
 How to debrief after a holiday when you have toxic parents

How to debrief after a holiday when you have toxic parents

This past Sunday was Father's day and this holiday, like so many for those of us with toxic family, can be a real struggle. I share my three-question debrief after every holiday to help myself get out of despair and into action. 
Jun 23, 202115:13
How to get closure from a Narcissist without breaking no-contact

How to get closure from a Narcissist without breaking no-contact

Three concrete things you can do to get the closure that you deserve without having to put yourself in harm's way.  Website: www.empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Jun 15, 202114:41
3 Reasons To Make Peace With Your Boundaries

3 Reasons To Make Peace With Your Boundaries

Making peace is an often overlooked part of the boundaries journey. In this episode, I explore three of the major payoffs of doing the work to make peace. I also introduce a tool that I have designed to help folks make peace with their boundaries. 
Jun 08, 202107:58
Our need for boundaries doesn't stop with the toxic person

Our need for boundaries doesn't stop with the toxic person

When you start out, it looks like all we need to do is establish some firm boundaries with toxic people and we can just go on with our lives. It is right that we need those firm boundaries, but it turns out we probably need a lot more smaller boundaries along the way. I go over three different spaces you may not expect to need boundaries when you start out, but you are probably going to discover as you work through your journey. 
Jun 01, 202122:22
What Are Flying Monkeys and How to Deal with Them

What Are Flying Monkeys and How to Deal with Them

These characters are some of the hardest to deal with on our journey with toxic people. After exploring what exactly flying monkeys are, I talk about some of the ways that I have found to be effective in dealing with them. 
May 25, 202108:08
My Number 1 Tip for Surviving Toxic People

My Number 1 Tip for Surviving Toxic People

I know this might make you feel uncomfortable, but seriously every bit of work you can put toward this one is absolutely worth it! Join our community over on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought/    Work with me here:  https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/consultation-page
May 18, 202110:46
5 Day Boundaries Maintenance Challenge Plus some tips and tricks!

5 Day Boundaries Maintenance Challenge Plus some tips and tricks!

I am officially announcing the start of my newest challenge - Boundaries Maintenance! This 5-day challenge is all about helping you advance on your journey by maintaining the boundaries that you've established to protect yourself against toxicity. Besides announcing the challenge, I give some general tips and tricks on how to navigate the boundaries maintenance stage of navigating toxic people! Sign up for the challenge here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/5-day-challenge-opt-in    Join our community over on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought/    Work with me here:  https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/consultation-page
May 11, 202115:00
How to go no-contact in 5 steps

How to go no-contact in 5 steps

It's high time I talked about what you should actually do when you are ready to get the toxic people out of your life. In this episode, I break it down into a 5 step process.  Get the pdf guide here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/opt-in
May 04, 202120:38
Why Adult Children of Toxic Parents are Not Always Toxic

Why Adult Children of Toxic Parents are Not Always Toxic

Sometimes the way we think about toxic people in the survivor community can bring us to some uncomfortable spaces when we are thinking about the children of these folks. In this episode, I explore that dynamic all thanks to a convo I had with a follower over on my Instagram page!
Apr 27, 202108:11
Top 5 Mistakes Navigating Toxic People

Top 5 Mistakes Navigating Toxic People

I've made some pretty big mistakes on my journey. Take a listen to this one and you might be able to save yourself from some of the same errors!
Apr 20, 202111:25
The top 3 reasons to go no-contact with toxic people

The top 3 reasons to go no-contact with toxic people

Going no contact may not be the right choice for everyone, but it has some definitely benefits. In this episode, I cover three of the best reasons for folks to build that no contact boundary. 
Apr 13, 202111:01
How to take back control from toxic people

How to take back control from toxic people

Three concrete things you can do to start regaining a bit of control, even if its just small chunks at a time. If you want support as you implement these strategies, you can work with me by signing up at www.empowermentthroughthought.com
Apr 06, 202115:36
An Unspoken Truth about Surviving Toxic People

An Unspoken Truth about Surviving Toxic People

Once you accept that you cannot control the behavior of toxic people, you have to start looking at the things you can control. Expectations are one of those things. 
Mar 30, 202108:22
How Narcissists Impact our Productivity

How Narcissists Impact our Productivity

I'm being real real in this one. Some experiences with toxic people in my life recently made me think hard about the exhaustion they create and the consequences to my ability to crush my goals. 
Mar 23, 202107:15
The exact survival tool I used to defend against toxic people

The exact survival tool I used to defend against toxic people

This tool has been so powerful on my journey navigating toxic people. It takes a bit of adjustment to get into using it regularly, but it really is so powerful. 
Mar 16, 202113:26
Ancient Wisdom Applied to Defending Against Toxic People

Ancient Wisdom Applied to Defending Against Toxic People

This wisdom wasn't originally about navigating toxic relationships, but with a little bit of work, we can fasten it into an incredibly powerful tool to protect ourselves against toxicity. 
Mar 09, 202115:22
My Secret Weapon Against Toxic People

My Secret Weapon Against Toxic People

This is an often misunderstood tool that has made a HUGE difference in my own life and navigating toxic people. 
Mar 02, 202114:49
Preview - The Insider's guide to protecting yourself against toxic people

Preview - The Insider's guide to protecting yourself against toxic people

In this teaser episode, I briefly cover all four of this season's big topics!
Feb 23, 202114:34
Can we hold folks with NPD accountable? Some Buddhist thoughts on Mental Illness

Can we hold folks with NPD accountable? Some Buddhist thoughts on Mental Illness

BONUS Episode inspired by some recent events in the abuse recovery space. My thoughts on whether it makes sense to call NPD a mental illness and how Buddhism shows us there is another way. 
Feb 19, 202121:11
5 Things Dealing With Toxic People Has Taught Me

5 Things Dealing With Toxic People Has Taught Me

These are just a few nuggets that I have walked away with from my years of navigating toxic relationships 
Feb 16, 202114:18
3 Tips for Talking to Family about Toxic People

3 Tips for Talking to Family about Toxic People

If you've ever tried chatting with family about toxic people, you might have been disappointed in the results. Here are three tips to make the process less painful 
Feb 09, 202112:40
10 Things You Didn't Know About Toxic People

10 Things You Didn't Know About Toxic People

10 nuggets that can help save you a lot of hurt in the future 
Feb 02, 202118:04
What you can do ONCE AND FOR ALL to settle if you are the toxic one: Action Items

What you can do ONCE AND FOR ALL to settle if you are the toxic one: Action Items

Here I lay out TWO different things you can do to start sorting this out for yourself.  If you want to check out the written version of this episode, check out www.empowermentthroughthought.com/blog/S1W4ActionItems
Jan 28, 202116:57
What you can do ONCE AND FOR ALL to settle if you are the toxic one: Examples

What you can do ONCE AND FOR ALL to settle if you are the toxic one: Examples

The story of Shannon, a thirty-five-year-old elementary school teacher who is ready to get some serious answers. 
Jan 27, 202109:23
What you can do ONCE AND FOR ALL to settle if you are the toxic one: Theory

What you can do ONCE AND FOR ALL to settle if you are the toxic one: Theory

If this question is really important to you, you really can get good answers. We explore what that looks like in this episode!
Jan 26, 202115:56
What does it really mean if you are asking "Am I the toxic one?" - Action Items

What does it really mean if you are asking "Am I the toxic one?" - Action Items

Two things you can do to start unpacking what it really means if you are asking "Am I the toxic one?"
Jan 21, 202115:56
What does it really mean if you are asking "Am I the toxic one?" - Examples

What does it really mean if you are asking "Am I the toxic one?" - Examples

Follow Cindy, a toxic person, and Jessie, a non-toxic person, on their journey through the question "Am I the toxic one?"
Jan 20, 202116:44
What does it really mean if you are asking "Am I the toxic one?" - Theory

What does it really mean if you are asking "Am I the toxic one?" - Theory

You actually know more about the answer to this question simply by exploring the way you ask it. 
Jan 19, 202117:43
Why We Wonder If We Are Toxic: Action Items

Why We Wonder If We Are Toxic: Action Items

Two concrete things you can do to begin exploring the reasons behind your own journey with the question "Am I the Toxic One?" 
Jan 14, 202120:05
Why We Wonder If We Are Toxic: Examples

Why We Wonder If We Are Toxic: Examples

Here we explore the interactions of Cindy, a toxic person, and Jessie, a non-toxic person. We see how Cindy utilizes Jessie's concern about toxicity ultimately as a way to control Jessie. 
Jan 13, 202110:53
Why We Wonder If We Are Toxic: Theory

Why We Wonder If We Are Toxic: Theory

There are lots of different reasons we might be asking ourselves whether we are the toxic one. Some of those reasons are more problematic than others. In this episode, we cover the theory behind asking this question. 
Jan 12, 202111:20
Toxic People Versus Toxic Behavior: Action Items!

Toxic People Versus Toxic Behavior: Action Items!

We cover some basic things you can start doing today to investigate your relationship with toxic behavior. This is an absolute gold mine for anyone who is seriously wondering if they are the toxic ones in their relationships. 
Jan 07, 202119:02
Toxic People Versus Toxic Behavior: Real World Examples

Toxic People Versus Toxic Behavior: Real World Examples

It's all fine and good to know the theory, but what does it actually look like in real life? We explore the case studies of Cindy, a toxic person, and Jessie, someone who sometimes does toxic things, while they both independently try to plan a party. 
Jan 06, 202115:36
Toxic People Versus Toxic Behavior: The Theory

Toxic People Versus Toxic Behavior: The Theory

Together we walk through what exactly a toxic person and how that is different from someone who just occasionally engages in toxic behavior. We cover some definitions and some of the tricky ways these groups overlap. 
Jan 05, 202113:33
Season 1 is about to Begin!

Season 1 is about to Begin!

This overview episode gives you a glimpse into all of the good stuff that we are going to cover in the very first season of our Podcast: Am I the Toxic One?
Dec 30, 202003:36
Let's Get This Thing Started!

Let's Get This Thing Started!

I cover who I am, what this podcast is about, and some of the goodies you have to look forward to! 
Dec 28, 202005:23