Enough Wicker: Intellectualizing the Golden Girls
By Lauren Kelly and Sarah Royal
Enough Wicker: Intellectualizing the Golden Girls Oct 11, 2020
Episode 158: It's Not in Yet, Don
Dorothy is putting together a family history for her grandkids and learns, despite Sophia's best efforts, that her mother was betrothed to a man named Guido! Huge reveal! Meanwhile, good two shoes Rose calls the City on Blanche when she plans to install a hot tub.
Episode 157: NurseyNurseNurse
Sophia sneezed and blew herself off a stool, resulting in two sprained ankles! Dorothy hires a nurse, and while she resists at first, Sophia becomes quite fond of her (not in that way). Meanwhile, Blanche parades her grandaughter around at a child beauty pageant where not a one kid seems to be having fun and one might actually set herself on fire.
Episode 156: The Case of The Wildly Popular Episode
The Girls head to the Maltese Falcon Club to participate in a Murder Mystery Weekend. Blanche is competing against Posey McGlinn for a promotion, and also maybe a romantic relationship with her boss? Sophia cops an entire place set, Dorothy solves the mystery, and Rose not only figures out what a maître d' is, but also gets back at Blanche for stealing her earrings! What a load of fun!
Episode 155: Skips a Generation, yahoooo!
We're back and we're entering the final season! Dorothy needs a hearing aid, Sophia might be a Jew for Jesus, and Charlie may have slept with Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux while he was visiting Miami.
Episode 154: 🎶 We Must Try & Try To Warn the King...that the 6th season is over! 🎶
The sky is falling and we're closing out Season 6 on top! Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche, 68 (and dead!) star in an elementary school production of Henny Penny narrated by a Robin Hood-clad Sophia. Meanwhile, Blanche tries to get Chugger Dietz to print a retraction on an obituary that does not result in the outpouring of grief one would expect.
Episode 152 & 153: Anyone for S'mores?
Nyquill shooters & a hotplate, a recipe for disaster! Sophia is under arrest when a deathbed confession implicates her in the Shady Pines fire. The rest of the girls reminisce while trying to work through an impossible situation.
Episode 151: Thank You For Listening to This Episode on a Night When our Hang Gliders are in the Shop, Congress is in Recess, and the Lepers are on Geraldo.
Blanche Devereaux's going on a diet....again. The girls participate in a bachelorette auction, the crown jewel of 90s sitcom plots. Uncle Angelo is back in town, and thanks to the timely death of Stan's own uncle, Dorothy is able to offer him an apartment in his hour of need. The place leaves something to be desired on the hide-and-seek front, but is apparently large enough for a formal party with a long guest list that doesn't include the Big Mean Bug Lady.
Episode 150: Somebody Here Doesn't Remember Prom Night, 1946
Hi Dorothy, Bye Dorothy. Blanche Devereaxu's goin on a diet. Blanche purges the kitchen of all sweet and salty treats as she tries to fit back into her wedding dress. Rose and Sophia, in different ways, make this all the more difficult. Meanwhile, Certified Golden Girls Hunk™, John Noretti is in Miami and he and Dorothy share an enchanted evening and rehash old memories.
Episode 149: Our Highest Rate EVAH--EVAH!
A rabbi, a mobster, and a copy in a dress walk into a house...
In this one, Rose is dating the Cheeseman! Miles comes back as an Amish windmill maker, and Blanche tries her yankee-doodle-dandiest to get into a club full of racist old white ladies. It's a hilarious, whacky ride.
Episode 148: We're the Brightest Kids In Brooklyn™!
When Dorothy struggles to connect with the kids in her honors progrum, Sophia tells her she was the brightest kid in Brooklyn™ growing up and it goes straight to her head. Speaking of State Fairs, Blanche's ego inflates until its bursts when a young actor mistakes her for Aurora's mother. It's grand..just grand.
Episode 147: Bushmania & Sensationalist News
Rose pursues a new career as a news reporter, but she's better with a hairbrush. Meanwhile, Blanche's perfect arrangement with Mel Bushman gets shaken up when she fears the Zipper King has died, finds out he hasn’t, and then seeks to complicate their “relationship.”
Episode 146: Enough Wicker Would Be Fine, Enough Wicker Doesn't Lie
Dorothy is in cahoots with the manager of Cyrpus Grove to trick Sophia into believing she's there to be something between an employee and a volunteer when really, she's a guest! Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche get a modeling gig for a penny saver that turns out to be less glamorous than they expected. We'd sue!
Episode 143: Guess We Have To Get Used to Calling Her 'Dorothy Zbornak!'
Dorothy and Stan have been sneaking around and no one bothered to ask Sophia aka the Godfather. The old flames decide to get married, again, not in the presence of their children or grandchildren, but under the instruction of a no-nonsense wedding planner and famed attorney Marvin Mitchelson. Surprise, it doesn't work out! Meanwhile, Rose is stalked and harassed by Myra, whose weapon of choice is a crustacean!
Episode 142: Oh Boy, A Totally Wacky Plotline that Goes Nowhere, Sign Me Up, Sign Me Up!
What was supposed to be an enjoyable evening of Miles reading poetry to celebrate that nose-nipper, Robert Frost, goes totally awry when news breaks that The Cheeseman, a mob boss, has been killed. Through a series of small reveals that don't make a ton of sense, Miles comes clean as Nicholas Carbone, shrimp lover and snitch in a tie.
Episode 141: We Bend Over Backwards for Clayton's Engagement! (laughter from the crowd)
Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than with Clayton and Doug's engagement! Blanche struggles with accepting her brother as gay...again, but with the help of the rest of the girls, comes around eventually. Meanwhile, Rose loses an award to a dead woman.
Our interview with Elliot Powell: https://www.enoughwicker.com/post/okie-dokie-daddio-sex-gender-jazz-in-the-golden-girls
Episode 140: We Run Towards You Saying "Mooooo"
Rose wants Miles to jump out of an air-a-plane to prove he loves her. Blanche is dating Rex Huntington, an abusive dirtbag who treats her terribly, and Dorothy decides to intervene. It takes Blanche a minute to come around, but luckily she sees the light. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Sophia work on the famous lunar landing puzzle.
All of The Golden Girls Villains, Ranked, with illustrations from Wicker Good Memes is here: https://www.enoughwicker.com/post/all-of-the-golden-girls-villains-ranked
Episode 139: You're the Old One, This is the Sad One
In what is arguably the saddest episode of the entire series, we mourn Phil Petrillo. Family man, poker player, and style icon. Sophia confronts Phil's wife Angela aka Big Sally about a decades-long feud and the rest of the girls try and cope with the loss.
Episode 138: It's Show BUSINESS for God's Sake
Blanche is checkin' out everything but the books at the library and comes across Mr. Ted Tanner, who turns out to be a jerk in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, Rose tries to convince the fam to let her keep Bingo, an absolutely adorable puppy, but as Dorothy puts it, no one lucid is home during the day to care for him.
Episode 137: We Care For You
St. Olaf is going through a drought and wants all of its one-time citizens, even those who live elsewhere, to join in the misery. Rose decides to commit to celibacy, but on the advice of Blanche, tries to use it as an opportunity to make Miles jealous, rather than tell the truth. Meanwhile, Blanche also inserts herself into Sophia's dating life, creating the infamous 65-year-old drag queen visual we know and love.
Episode 136: Sonny Bono, Get Off My Lanai
Mrs. Blanche Devereaux considers whether or not to stay Mrs. Blanche Devereaux when George's ghost shows up in Miami! Using one of the favorite tactics of TV at the time, Blanche dreams Geroge stained his desk and has been alive this whole time. Meanwhile, Sonny Bono and Lyle Waggoner compete for Dorthy's affection.
Episode 135: The Word Says It--Nun.
A nun has died and a dork in a Duster rams into Rose's car. Amid the grief of losing a friend, Sophia decides to join the convent. Meanwhile, Blanche uses Rose's car in a reckless attempt to meet rich men. None of it works out—what a load of fun!
Episode 134: THE NAMESAKE
Dorothy and Stan are back at it again! As though they're right back at prom night 1946, everybody's favorite divorced couple is sneaking around and carrying on like teenagers. Rose is having a problem at work with an overeager colleague that only Sophia can solve (sans dart gun).
Episode 133: HE Wants You to Listen to this Episode
Rose confronts her scumbag of a dentist who has been groping her while she's knocked out on laughing gas. Meanwhile, Dorothy aka Atila the Sub is filling in for a long-term job at a local Catholic high school. She has to decide whether or not to fail Kevin, a charming but lazy football star who refuses to apply himself academically, amid pressure from a priest, a dumb (but also charming in his own right!) coach, an active—and potentially threatening—alumni. Tunnels, he loved to drive through tunnels...
Episode 132: Outsourcing Child Care and Matchmaking, but We Can't Get Anybody to Do Our Windows!
Big Daddy created a lot of problems for his family, even in death! Viola Watkins, Blanche's beloved "Mammy" shows up in Miami (after calling!) to ask for a music box she gave to Blanche's father, who we learned she loved. Blanche has to reconcile with the affair, while Sophia covertly signs Dorothy up for a matchmaker. Rose reveals her nanny was a goat and learns how to pronounce the first name of Mrs. Eisenhower.
Episode 131: Is Mrs. Taylor the Original Q-Anon? It's Been Deleted By Authority of the Governor!
In this one, Dorothy Zbornak (Miracle Worker) tries to help Jimmy, played by the incomparable Martin Mull, confront decades of life as a shut-in. Is she qualified, you ask? Not at all! Meanwhile, Rose decides she must throw Blanche a birthday party, even as Blanche's preferred method of coping with aging comes in the form of young men and living with women who look a lot older than she does!
Episode 130: Stan and St. Olaf Come Into Some M-O-N-E-Y
With his invention, the Zbornee, Stanley is helping thousands of people open baked potatoes without burning their fingers and raking in the cash. He wants to share with his very best used-to-be (and her mother, who willfully accepts) but Dorothy is hesitant at first. Meanwhile, Rose makes sure to hold onto her I Lost My Ass in Vegas cup but somehow lets Blanche take thousands of dollars in St. Olaf war bonds. Blanche has to decide if keeping her newfound fortune is worth bankrupting the Cradle of Idiocy.
Episode 129: We Don't Have Any, We Never Did.
We lost Sophia, but we found Rose's father (he's an earthling!). The Girls are back at the hospital because Sophia has a hernia that we're led to believe is from moving furniture at Dorothy's request, but is actually a consequence of a hilarious prank. While there, Rose, an expert candy stripper and purveyor of Traditional St. Olaf Funpacks runs into her natural father, who turns out to be a dancing monk.
Episode 128: Becky Squats in a Laura Ashley Showroom
We're officially in Season 6 and Becky is back! After visiting a birthing center where it sounds like a mommy is on fire, she decides to instead deliver her baby at a Miami hospital, without regard for what that will to do Blanche's reputation. Eventually, Blanche accepts that Becky is pursuing single motherhood and has a moment of reflection where she realizes that is actually incredibly brave. Meanwhile, hyper-competitive Rose tries to satisfy her dead parents by pursuing an ice skating career.
Episode 127: Where Can We Get a Point of Light on a Stick?
Another two-part, clip show, season finale! Only this time, President Bush is stopping by to visit. Dorothy plans to share all of her gripes (most of which we share!) with the Prez, but freezes up in a classic "..Bush..." scene. Meanwhile, a charming Secret Service agent grills the girls to make sure it's safe for Mr. No New Taxes to stop by. Stanley brings over his greatest novelty to date, and it's a great end to Season 5!
Episode 126: Old Brisker, Ma's Mouth, and A Gambling Problem
Rose takes up painting and obviously, she can't paint a horse from memory, so asks someone to accompany her to the racetrack. Blanche, despite having a pass to the jockey's lounge, can't make it--largely because she's working her new boss Donald for 12 hours a week at the museum--so Dorothy hesitantly agrees to go. Unfortunately, one good day of picking winners reignites a vicious gambling problem that almost cost Dorothy everything years earlier.
Episode 125: Who Needs Spanish Flies? Just Go To Your Best Friends' God-Daughter's Wedding!
Beloved by oldster fans of the Golden Girls and beginners alike, the Girls are hot and heavy at the wedding of Dorothy's god-daughter to the grandson of Giuseppe Mangiacavallo, Sophia's once betrothed and now multi-millionaire. Dorothy and Blanche work through some deep-seated stuff that will continue to come up again and again, and we learn that Rose is peeping the priests' buns! Meanwhile, Sophia watches a very slow-acting curse in action. What a load of fun!
Episode 124: There Really Is No Reason My Mother Shouldn't Have Her Cookies
So Glen, how come you cheated on your wife?
Glen O'Brien, Dorothy's old and formerly married flame, is back--only this time he's played by Jerry Orbach. The two have such magnetic chemistry, but ultimately, Dorothy must choose herself. Meanwhile, a couple of fraudsters prey on the old and the gullible at the mall and Blanche & Sophia lose thousands of dollars--what a load of fun!
Episode 123: Vixen, Story of a Comrade
In this all-time favorite, Blanche's sister Charmaine and Stan's cousin Magda are both in Miami at the same time. Charmaine and Blanche appear to be getting along--a surprise for Hollingsworth siblings--until Blanche is convinced Charmaine borrowed her life story and sexual escapades for her book. Meanwhile, Magda butts heads with all of the other Girls, but most strongly with Dorothy, on the merits of communism vs. capitalism. One thing we can all agree on is that sex sell and slurpees rule.
Episode 122: You're Kidding, Buzz is Here Too?!
Buzz Mueller, Rose's 'one that got away' is in town! The snappy-dressing showman sweeps Rose off her feet and wants to bring her on tour with his band. Despite things going well with Miles, Rose considers it and asks if it is possible to love two men at the same time. Meanwhile, Sophia is hanging out with the wrong crowd and Dorothy firmly objects after a night that starts with Blanche's friend Mr. Big and ends with Schlomo. Sophia moves in with a senile art collector for a bit until everything is resolved.
RE-RUN: Episode 85: Fifty Shades of Clay with Special Guest Chris Gallo!
In a very special episode, we are joined by the only man to ever put his own head on Fifi's body, Chris Gallo of OhShuptUpRose.com and Golden Girls Posters! We start by talking about all of Chris' Golden Girls-related projects and then jump into one of his favorite episodes, Scared Straight. We cover everything from Phil Petrillo's significance to whether or not Rose would have actually said "Clayton is a hobo" to #coughgate88. It's bound to be Doug's favorite and is our last episode of the year! Have a great holiday, waterlilies, and catch us in 2022!
Golden Girls Posters Etsy Shop
Golden Girls Posters Tee Public Shop
Episode 121: It's Time to Get Real, Grandma
In this frequently-referenced and celebrated episode, Rose learns she may have contracted HIV through a blood transfusion years ago. Our main focus is the the 72 hours, hence the title, between getting tested and receiving the results. This is an incredibly powerful episode even today but especially at the time it aired. There is a throughline of de-stigmatizing HIV/AIDS and a poignant scene where Blanche directly addresses Rose and America at-large with the simple truth that AIDS is not a bad person's disease.
For interviews and full papers by the scholars referenced, check out our website.
Episode 120: So Good Enough Wicker Named It Part 2! An Illegitimate Concern
Barrett and Kay from So Good We Named It are here to help us cut those ribbons at Piggly Wiggly! Yes, it's another Hurricane Saturday, as the four of us discuss episode 120 of the Golden Girls, An Illegitimate Concern. David shows up out of nowhere and borderline stalks Blanche, who at first (naturally) finds it flattering, but then is hit harder with reality than Rose is with the Metro Section when David reveals he's Geroge's son. Meanwhile, Sophia and Dorothy make lovely first runners-up at the Shady Pines Mother/Daughter Pageant. What a load of fun!
To hear Part 1 of So Good Enough Wicker Named It and more of Barrett and Kay, including interviews with fans and writers and hot takes on Virginia Hollingsworth, subscribe to So Good We Named It.
Episode 119: Everybody's Got A Nickname For It
Blanche has to get a pacemaker put in and is overwhelmed with the fear and anxiety that comes with that. Also, because it's Blanche, physical health=sexuality, so the effect is even deeper. Each of the other girls offers support in their own ways, the most memorable being Rose's World War I lullaby.
Episode 118: Memories, like the Corners of Clinton-Washington Avenues
Sophia's memories are fading and so she and Dorothy make a trip up to Brooklyn, where, thanks to a pretty rude version of Sal's ghost and a few sentimental visuals, it all (kind of) comes back. Meanwhile, Blanche accuses Rose of sex discrimination and bolsters the case that the two of them are maybe not meant to work together.
Episode 117: Mail call! Me, Me, Me, Me, Me
The government is being kinder, gentler, and supplying Sophia with an extra $170K in social security checks, Blanche is using a rented Mercedez as a way to meet men, and Miles' daughter Caroline is being a real B to Rose, who is just trying to make his birthday special. This three-plot episode has a ton of great lines and doesn't require too much analysis.
Episode 116: That Sounds Good, Where Can We Sign Up For that Group?
Rose signs up for a positive thinking group where the leader won't even tell her she's special. Dorothy buys it for a minute, but a good order of lunch meat and a few days later, she and Melanie Griffith are off it. Meanwhile, Blanche goes back and forth with a new flame but is scared out of making a real commitment when he runs into a health issue and plunges into a bit of self-referential deep thinking herself.
Episode 115: A New President of Knocked Up Single
Episode 114: Merry Christmas Enough Wicker Subscriber
In this holiday-themed episode, the Girls pull names (whose names are they gonna be anyway?!) out of a hat for a gift exchange and decide since they all stand an equal chance to have their Christmas ruined by receiving a nonrefundable yodel lesson, it's a fair way to do gifts. Meanwhile, Stan hits rock bottom and totally loses perspective, unable to recognize the privileges life has afforded him, even as he discusses the consequences of the Soviet Empire falling while being surrounded by homeless children.
Episode 113: A Period or State of Decline
Big Daddy, Blanche's beloved--if wildly problematic--father has died. Rue McClanahan delivers a powerhouse of an emotional performance as Blanche works through grief, and we're reminded that Dorothy Zbornak is one hell of a pal & a confidante. Meanwhile, Sophia turns the Girls' home into a guest house for clumsy tourists who have no respect for commemorative plates.
Episode 112: Son of a Zbornie
Michael is in town and he is at his most insufferable! Dorothy, encouraged by Blanche, challenges Michael to "grow up" and take control of his life. Eventually, Stan and Sophia see she's right and they all hit him with a bit of "rough love." Meanwhile, Rose is overworked and confronts her boss Enrrrrrique Mas, who because he is an absolute gem of an employer, hears her and heeds the call.
Episode 111: You Call This Tapioca?!
Dorothy is emotionally rocked when an old high school friend Helen Colquist, known to some as the fat woman with a wooden leg and a hairless cat named Cincinnati Jake, died during a visit to Miami before the two of them could get together. As she goes through her yearbook, Dorothy is shocked to find how many of her classmates have died (fun, fun, fun!) and comes to a realization that she must try a standup comedy set, a dream she had put on the backburner. Meanwhile, Rose deals with something just as heavy--a coworker who doesn't like her!
Episode 110: Sheila Patterson's Daughter Lets Her Marry Her Dead Husband's Brother!
George's younger brother is in town and Blanche, forgetting how much Jamie looks and sounds like George, has fantasies of becoming Mrs. Blanche Devereaux. Meanwhile, Sophia commits grand theft auto using the phonebook as a booster seat.
Episode 109: Martha, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down
TW: Talk of suicide and suicidal thoughts.
In one of the heaviest episodes of the series, Sophia's friend Martha contemplates ending her life as she fears what is to come as she ages. Meanwhile, the rest of the girls give an iconic performance of Mr. Sandman as they babysit little Frank, whose fever is concerningly high.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or in crisis, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255. You can also text HOME to 74174.
Episode 108: Speculating....
Rose, Miles is here! This episode features the return of Harold Gould aka Arnie aka Nicholas Carbone aka Miles Webber, who is Rose's partner at the ballroom. They have physical chemistry--he dips her all evening--but Rose is intellectually intimidated by his college professor friends. Meanwhile, Sophia charges for dances and Blanche tries to work off her "excess sexual energy" with the most tedious house task of all.
PS. If you haven't already, check out So Good We Named It here.
Episode 107: Clowin' Around
Didn't they almost have it all! In this one, Dorothy is dating a top Miami lawyer™ played by TV Great, Dick Van Dyke. Their chemistry is so palpable, that she even contemplates life as Mrs.KennethWhittingham, but ultimately, Ken's choice to switch from lawyering 70 hours a week to performing with Ringling Brothers illuminates that there's something just not there for the two. Meanwhile, Rose motivates the crew to protest the tuna fisherman's killing of dolphin and Blanche throws a punch.
Episode 106: No Prudes
In this one, Rose asks Enrrrrrique Mas to help her out with an age discrimination case after losing Charlie's pension and ends up with something even better--a job as a production assistant! Meanwhile, Sophia uses her Shopper's Warehouse card to buy toothbrushes, oatmeal cookies, and sardines.
Episode 105: A Cow and a Sperm-Pusher Wonder "Where's Mine????"
Oh boy, we're going to a sperm bank! Blanche's daughter Rebecca is back in town with big news: she's getting impregnated on Monday! Blanche, who spent her mothering years screaming for the governess for nothing, feels betrayed, confused, and infuriated by Becky's decision...to take control of her own life. The rest of the girls coach her through it, but not before a classic universal "ewwwww" to artificial insemination around the dinner table. Meanwhile, Dorothy tries to trick Sophia into going to the doctor, and ultimately, her winning bargaining chip is a trip to the sperm bank.
Episodes 103 & 104: Chronic Illness, Dismissive Doctors, Sleep Deprivation and A Bag of S̶u̶n̶s̶h̶i̶n̶e̶ Egg Yolks
We're up and running in Season 5! In the two-part season premiere, we find Dorothy, an otherwise healthy woman whose only medical woes were once digesting raw vegetables and a cracking jaw, feeling exhausted, sick, and frustrated that no doctor seems to believe she has a real, medical problem. This storyline represents Susan Harris, the creator of The Golden Girls, and her own struggle to get doctors to believe her Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was not a 100% tiptop mental problem. Meanwhile, Blanche decides she must publish a Great Southern Novel™, even if that means not sleeping for days and hallucinating "little balls of sunshine in a bag." An ace of an episode to start the fifth season of the greatest television show of all time, The Golden Girls.
Episodes 101 & 102: Another Clip Show ft. Wally's Sexual Proclivities
In a less-than-thrilling send-off to an excellent Season 4, Mr. Yakamora, a wanna-be real estate mogul (played by the late, great Ralph Ahn), makes a wildly high offer on Blanche's house. The Girls contemplate the realities of moving, Rose and Sophia most fearful, and reminisce about their musical escapades, the relatives that have stayed with them, and more. It's a decent slip show with a pretty bizarre ending that neatly wraps up the 4th season.
Episode 100: Middle Aged Bambinas & Dirty Dancin'
In one of the whackiest of all-time episodes, Sophia's old friends Dominic and Philomena Bosco, aka Freida Claxton and Vincenzo the Contractor (actually aka Nan Martin and Vito Scotti) come to take Dorothy, their alleged biological daughter, back to Sicily for an arranged marriage. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose are inspired by Lawrence of Arabia and decide to take up dirty dancing, with one of them taking much easier to the craft than the other.
Thank You For Being a Fan: Enough Wicker Contest Submissions
In honor of Golden Con next week, we are rerunning our fan contribution episode. The Golden Girls is about community, so we hope you all have the best time, send us your photos--we'll double exposure ourselves right in!! We'll see you at the next one and we hope you'll contribute to our next Enough Wicker fan episode! TYFBAF!
Hello and Happy New Year! This episode is made up of your scholarly observations, thoughtful takeaways, and hilarious impressions of the greatest television show of all time, The Golden Girls. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We dedicate this episode to Betty White, who walked the Earth as a queen & visionary for 99 years.
Episode 99: Charlie Horse!
Oh boy, a whole episode about body negativity and dieting, wahoo! We kid, we kid. But in this one, the Girls are all dealing with their weight and appearance; Sophia is hellbent on gaining a pound to get back to her ideal weight while the rest of the crew tries working out and new hairstyling in order to look their best for an annual summer party. A classic clip show where, even in their desperation, the Girls can't be convinced to join Stanley's self-help pyramid scheme club.
Episode 98: We Are The World
In this one, Sophia busts her friend Lilian out of Sunny Pastures, a rundown nursing home struggling in the age of Reagan-era cuts. Meanwhile, Blanche gets a bonus and initially plans to put the money in her bosom account, but in the end, decides her found money would be better spent in another way.
Episode 97: Tough Holly
She's mopey, dopey, and full of crap, Rose's sister. In this one, Holly, Rose's flute-playing, philandering, annoying AF little sister comes to Miami and charms Blanche and Dorothy right away. Sophia sees through it a bit and councils Rose to let them see it for themselves, and boy do they ever. Meanwhile, Sophia agrees to dogsit two Dreyfuses.
Episode 96: Perfect Pizza with Pizzazz & a Pill Problem
Episode 95: Welcome to the Dorothy Killed Trudy Party
And she's a teacher too!
Dorothy's high school best friend Trudy McMahon comes to Miami for their high school reunion and brings along her handsome husband Jack, a pair of new A+ breasts, and a drive for competition. Dorothy literally kills Trudy on the tennis court, or so we think, and then wants to spend the entire evening of her reunion screwing around in the bedroom when there are important things to do outside. This is a laugh-out-loud episode with a plot that makes no sense, and that is something we have to accept.
Episode 94: Kid Pepe Later Went On to Have a Very Successful Career in Consumer Reporting
Rose makes the mistake of trusting Sophia with a large sum of money the Girls intend to use for a joint CD account, and rather than buying a handful of magic beans or completing the task, Sophia brings home a prizefighter. Apparently, some kind of transaction goes down at a bus stop, and bim bam boom, the Girls are now responsible for training and housing this young fighter who, as is later revealed, is also a multi-talented artist.
Episode 93: We're The Laughing Stock of The Ladies Auxiliary
Dorothy is in charge of finding talent for an upcoming variety show and recruits Rose, Blanche, and Sophia to help. The Donatello Triplets prove to be worthy headliners, even if the one juggling Sklarkievich Brother leaves a bit to be desired, but the major gap to fill is that they need an MC. Rose, leaning heavily on a parasocial relationship she built with Bob Hope, tells the girls not to sweat it, as she'll just make a quick call to her birth father and their problems will be solved. There's a drag scene, a reference to old vaudeville, and a couple of kinder-than-we-usually-are digs at Reagan. Plus, we reveal that ironically, Betty White was the one to make the call to Bob Hope for this appearance!
Episode 92: 1000 Points of Light
Chalk it all up to synergism. In this one, Dorothy and Sophia are shaken up by the rate at which Sophia's friends are dying. Dorothy's response is to book a suite at Disney World and look at old photos, rather than ride the rides (or, thankfully, to have Sophia seized by Shady Pines staff on the tarmac). Sophia, meanwhile, wants to leave Memory Lane for Space Mountain. At home, Blanche, who apparently has a talent for drawing, and Rose work on a children's book about Toonder the Mediocre Tiger and his friends.
Episode 91: Fun in the Buff This St. Valentine's Day
Episode 90: The Eddie Effect
In this one, Dorothy engages in the age-old practice of #sportnookie with Eddie, whose apparent sexual prowess is hidden beneath an unassuming exterior. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose decide to mentor two teenage punks and end up in the slammer.
Episode 89: Nothing More Frustrating than Waiting for One of These Suckers to Rise and it Just Won't
Sophia is called upon to perform a Sicilian act of vengeance while Rose deals with sexual frustration, just another day in the Golden Girls' house. In this one, Rose is seeing a man named Ernie, a corporate attorney who does not have a drinking problem, and everything is going well until he reveals that he is impotent (bon appetit). After a romantic getaway fails, a steamy exchange over dinner finally does the trick. Meanwhile, Sophia receives a feather in the mail and must avenge her scarecrow uncle.
Episode 88: Music Lovers for the Win
In this episode, Blanche meets a charming, handsome man who knows the ins and outs of high society food pairings. It should be perfect, but John is blind, and so Blanche, who derives most of her self-worth from her looks, is left wondering what he could possibly like about her. Meanwhile, Rose and Dorothy (and eventually Sophia) coach a peewee football team where all the boys are named Victor.
The Coaching Lessons of the Golden Girls
Episode 87: We Will Waste 22 Minutes of Your Time
Is that an original DeKimmel!? In this one, the roof is leaking and rather than shell out the dough like any normal landlord, Blanche is focused on preserving a towel that never contained baby Skippy. While trying to come up with the cash for a new roof, the girls hear that Jasper DeKimmel, a cranky-but-talented artist is nearing the end of his life, so naturally, they divert their funds and buy one of his pieces at an auction.
Episode 86: Stan Yells at Some Hospital Staff
We open this episode by paying tribute to our dearly departed Betty White, who entertained millions with her command of comedy and inspired just as many with her commitment to kindness. Thank you for being a friend, Betty
Rerun of Episode 36: Merry Christmas Sarah, Merry Christmas Lauren
What the hell is this, The Waltons?! In the first Christmas episode of the series, the girls do quite a lot. Blanche tries to bong a mall Santa and gets caught, Rose offers counseling to her clients right in front of the waiting room, a would-be armed robber takes Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose hostage until Sophia saves the day, and after their flights are grounded, our favorite ladies spend Christmas Eve watching a diner, while the owner spends less than an hour with his family. Plus, the men of Blanche's boudoir actually turn about to be the men of the Golden Girls crew. What fun!
Episode 84: Three Palm Trees & A Real Downer of an Episode
We revisit Brother, Can You Spare that Jacket, in which each of the girls has their own personal reckoning with the state of things in America. After a brief bit of riding high on a winning lotto ticket, Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia, and Rose trounce all over Miami to find the ticket after it is mistakenly given away. There's a celebrity auction, a do-nothing councilman, and a mixup of Michael J. Fox and Michael Jackson, but all in all this is a pretty heavy episode that handles important subject matter in a really powerful way.
Episode 82: Max Weinstock Wastes No Time Getting In (to town!)
Sophia's getting married, Rose and Blanche are establishing a Miami-based chapter of the Hunka Hunka Burnin Love Fanclub, Dorothy is smoking, and somehow the caterer is still the star! We talk about Sophia's Wedding Parts 1 & 2, which for us, represents a very specific era in The Golden Girls. This one has a ton of funny moments and reveals something deep about the addictive Petrillo genes. We also think when you're in your 80s, if you wanna get married or just find a long-distance hook-up buddy from your past, that's A-OK with us, so long as you always carry an array of Lifesavers.
Episode 81: The Power of Stan Compels Sophia
Dorothy is battling Stan for Sophia's soul and Blanche & Rose are up all night howlin. In the nosebleed seats of a baseball game, Sophia gets whacked on the head with a ball. Stan comes up with a way for the two of them to join forces and scam some money out of the insurance company, though we think it's a few days too late to be believable. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche are cast in Cats in the community theater and wholly immerse themselves in the character.
Episode 80: Never Go to Beaver Falls
Rose is up for St. Olaf's Woman of the Year! OOOFDAH! There's only one problem, Blanche and Dorothy are back to their Issac Q. Newton/rez-ume ways and they've stretched the truth a bit on her application. Mighty flood, etc. Meanwhile, the AC is out and the girls struggle to keep cool. All in all, this one is incredibly goofy, there's a bunch of funny lines, and it's a pretty revealing picture of Rose's naive all-American nature.
Episode 79: Turns Out Virginia WAS the Slut
Rose and Dorothy assume the roles of Mulder and Scully after seeing what appears to be a UFO. Meanwhile, Blanche attempts a conquest for Ham Lushbough, the one man--the one--who has ever rejected her advances. The UFO story is A++, especially considering Dorothy's natural skepticism and Rose's naive assumption that the extraterrestrials are here to help us earthlings. The Ham story is a little tough to get through and rife with body-shamey jokes, but the conclusion that his lousy night of sex decades ago was with Virginia, not Blanche, is pretty funny.
PS. Check out EnoughWicker.com/contest
Episode 78: If You Don't Listen You'll Regret it For the Rest of Your Life
The three younger girls sit around the kitchen table lamenting that Sophia is letting the last of her life slip away. Rose's puritanical work ethic, Blanche's overactive sex drive and Dorothy's grounding nature all abound as the rain comes down outside. Meanwhile, Sophia--ironically the only one to leave the house, has a full adventure of a day complete with grocery store advocacy, hospital volunteerism and conducting an old lady jazz band. For more on this episode and the show's relationship to jazz, check out our interview with Elliot H. Powell here.
PS. Head to EnoughWicker.com/contest before November 28 to make your scholarly submissions!
Episode 77: Fidel Santo Domingo & A Woman Without A Sheepskin
Season 4 starts with a bang! Fidel Santiago, a snappy dressing cigar heir and all-around charmer dates both Blanche and Sophia. His long teeth raise questions, particularly around his relationship with Blanche, but his life and death serve to prove that age is just a number. Meanwhile, we learn that Rose started a mono outbreak in St. Olaf that may have actually contributed to the Allied victory in WWII as she enrolls in Ms. Zbornak's history class.
For more info and to contribute your contest submission, visit Enoughwicker.com/contest
Episode 76: Wasn't Virginia the Slut?
We've made it to the end of the third season! In this vignette/flashback Mother's Day episode, we see Dorothy play her own grandmother, Rose lie to the police for a friend, Stan's mom acknowledge his yutzdom, and learn Blanche's true age! It's touching, funny, and we have a lot to say about it--the perfect way to close out the season.
Episode 75: Mister Worse than the Empty Nest Episode
In what is the opposite of a fan-favorite, Rose dates Mr. Terrific, Dorothy attempts to fix his show and is sexually harassed by a puppet, and Blanche gets a different bed than the one she ordered. We're here to dunk on the sub-par (for this show) writing, the strange deliveries of lines, and pretty much everything else.
Episode 74: Mixed Blessing(s)
We give all of our thoughts on the controversial Mixed Blessings episode, as well as a lament at how bad this show handles issues of race in general. For a further scholarly take, check out Dr. Stephen Trasher's The Real Mud on the Golden Girls piece for Variety.
Episode 73: Neater Than Hard Salami
Al, Rose's new boyfriend, just retired from a successful career as a deli owner. While he could be content just sleeping late and watching reruns of Moonlighting, Rose compels him to do something better with his time. So, rationally, he decides to purchase a yacht and sail around the world without ever bothering to test his sea legs--bad idea! Meanwhile, Sophia brings in a pervert from the senior center to remodel the Girls' garage into a guestroom.
Episode 72: Middle Aged Daughters Just Don't Understand
In the ultimate role reversal, Sophia has a new boyfriend that Dorothy can't stand. Rocco, played by Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney, adores Sophia, but his disrespectful attitude, cigar habit, and shady past all give Dorothy pause. She tries to impose rules like leaving the bedroom door open, but it's hard to parent an 80-year-old. Meanwhile, Blanche and Dorothy break into Rose's 4-H Pig Diary (YOU KNOW A BETTER WAY TO GET A 4-H PIG DIARY BADGE?) massively invading her privacy.
Episode 71: Handle it?! I can't even get to close to it!
Sophia is feeling bummed as all of her friends her own age have either moved out of town, died, or assumed new identities as Pinky Lee. Dorothy, thinking only of her mother's happiness, starts bringing her along on dates with her boyfriend Raymond. Eventually, Raymond (understandably) grows tired of this, and Dorothy decides it's more important to preserve Sophia's happiness than have an awkward conversation. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose run against each other for the prestigious position of Fashion Show Chairman of the Tinkerbelles.
Very Special Episode with Claire from Golden Girls Fashion Corner
Golden Girls Fashion Corner is the place on the web for the clothes of our beloved Golden Girls. The woman behind the blog, Claire Sewell, joins us to talk about what inspired her to start the site, the thought behind the wardrobe choices, and how sometimes fashion has a scholarly element to it, but sometimes it's just plain fun. Check out GoldenGirlsFashion.com for more insight and enjoy!
Episode 69 (and 70!): Is That Seafood Medley?
Golden Moments Parts 1 and 2 aired on the same night, so audiences were treated to a full hour of clips they'd already seen before. Through flashbacks, this 2-parter revisits classic scenes, such as Sophia's arrival, Blanche's discovery that Danny Thomas was not a lesbian, and Rose nearly blowing poor Lestser's head off. In the meantime, Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose work on convincing Sophia to stay in Miami as she considers a move to help Phil with his indistinct number of children.
Episode 68: Can you believe that, 68! It's a-me, Angelo.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to tell a fib. Angelo, Sophia's priest brother, is visiting for the first time in 40 years and Sophia can't bear to tell him Dorothy and Stan are divorced. Using the power of pasta and cheese, she convinces the two to masquerade as though they're still married (spoiler: they're not that convincing). Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche are rehearsing for their roles as two nuns in the community theater production of The Sound of Music.
Episode 67: This Episode Will Make You Scream, Holler, and Jump for Joy
In an absolute classic, the Girls head to Hollywood to appear on polyester and teeth-clad Guy Corbin's epic game show, Grab that Dough. This one features the return of the Horse Statue™, original hustler Nancy, soup, soup, and more soup AND happens to be the all-time favorite of another artist with an incredible body, the genius behind Oh Shut Up Rose and Golden Girls Posters!
Episode 66: Dorothy Zbornak is [still] the Hero We Need
Dorothy is in a rut. Between Blanche's celebrity rags and Rose's...well, Rose in general, the Brightest Kid in Brooklyn™ is feeling a little unstimulated, intellectually. At the behest of her friends and mother, Dorothy decides to get out and do something for herself, and so she attends a lecture by celebrated author and metaphor-user Barbara Thorndyke. The two become friends, and even though it's clear to Rose and Madge that Barbara totally sucks, it takes Dorothy some time to see it, but boy is it worth the wait. Dorothy confronts Barbara when she reveals that she's a member of a club with antisemitic policies in a way that is still so relevant today; standing up to intolerance is always the right thing to do, even if there's a great breakfast and the parking is free.
Very Special Episode with Dr. Wendy Burns-Ardolino
Dr. Wendy Burns-Ardolino joins us for a very special episode in which we discuss her book, TV Female Foursomes and Their Fans. We talk about the devotion surrounding The Golden Girls and other shows like Designing Women that relied on an all-women ensemble cast to move society forward and make us laugh. This is one for you fan-scholars!
Episode 65: Norma Rae Petrillo & A Whole Lot of Gross Fat-Phobia
In what is perhaps the worst episode of the entire Golden Girls series as it relates to body-shaming and fat-phobia, we meet Rebecca, Blanche's formerly estranged daughter, and her douchebag boyfriend, Jeremy. Jeremy--who ranked #2 on our list of Golden Girls villains-- is verbally abusive to Becky and every other line from all the characters except for Dorothy (the hero we need) seems to be a crack about Rebecca's body. It is not good. The B-story, however, has Sophia essentially unionizing Pecos Pete's Chow Wagon, and that, we can get into.
PS. Listen until the very end to hear Lauren try and do Becky's accent--it's not great!
Episode 64: Looks Like We're A Hit
Hold onto your chisels, Laszlo's in town! The Hungarian Hunk initially plans to use Blanche as a nude model for his sculpture, but eventually, he asks Rose and Dorothy as well, seeing that they each bring a different set of qualities that he wishes to capture. This creates a rift in the household because all three women are interested in helping Laszlo buff his marble, if you catch our drift, but his heart (and marble) belong to someone else. Meanwhile, Sophia gets into practical jokes but for some reason, doesn't exploit her ex-son-in-law's connection to novelties at all!
PS. Click here for a list of more than 2 Hungarian sculptures of any time.
Episode 63: The Uncle Fingerbinger Story
Buddy Rourke, an alleged friend of Charlie's is in town and he (like Jean) has the hots for Rose. The two strike up what seems like a relatively mild romance, but then all of a sudden Rose is packing up and moving to Boston with him! Obviously, that doesn't happen, but the Girls decide to let Rose have the sweet little memory, even if it's a lie. Meanwhile, Blanche and Dorothy agonize over what to wear to the museum banquet--we've all been there!
Episode 62: That's Definitely Not How Therapy Works
The Girls have been living together for five years and they have HAD it. From Blanche's Designing Women accent to Rose's seemingly incessant need to sprinkle everyday conversation with Norwegian words, to Dorothy's holier-than-thou attitude, they need a headshrinker STAT! This one is a little weak in the writing of the main story, but there are a couple of real gems in the vignettes ($8/an hour).
Episode 61: Brother of the Scalp
Babe, I'm afraid we're being audited.
Stan's back and this time he's bringing Dorothy down financially. He reveals he's being audited, and because Uncle Sam is going back so many years, that means Aunt Dorothy is too. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche take a Spanish class down at the local community college, and in their typical fashions, Blanche promises to sleep with the teacher for the answers while Rose refuses to habla ingles (that means speak English). A lot of laughs, a couple of really, really offensive jokes, and a middle-aged guy doing the bare minimum and being praised mean this is the quintessential 80s sitcom formula!
Episode 60: Come on Swen!
Friends, welcome to the VERY FIRST in-person recording of Enough Wicker. Yes, Lauren and Sarah sit together in the same space to talk about the perils of Little Sven (not to be confused with Big Sven or Big Sven 2). Blanche tries to get back at Floyd by cozying up to Rose's nordic cousin, who mistakes it for love--that is until he sees the dime piece he's been promised to. Meanwhile, Sophia begs Dorothy to let her drive again & the two try to navigate road safety for an 80+-year-old.
Very Special Episode With Dr. TJ West
What better way to close out Pride Month than with the author of some of the most dynamic, queer-focused Golden Girls content out there! Dr. Thomas J. West III, TJ to his pals and confidantes, wrote a paper called “Thank You for Being a Friend:” The Politics, History, and Fandom of The Golden Girls and Its Feminist Message for the Coming Decade," and has since written extensively about The Golden Girls, television, politics, and more. He is the co-host of the Queens of the B's podcast and was kind enough to talk to us about queerness of Phil Petrillo, the controversy surrounding Mixed Blessings, and the underrated genius of Susan Harris. Find TJ on Twitter @TJWest3 and check out his Medium page here: https://tjwest3.medium.com/
Episode 59: Yo! Ted-ay!
Stan's brother is in town and spoiler: he really sucks! Initially, he goes out with Blanche but he's not into it, and the next thing we know he and Dorothy are aggressively hugging on the front step in the morning. Turns out he's impotent and wanted a babysitter, unrelated to each other, but important. Meanwhile, Rose is downing caffeinated tea, which she thinks is making her bones strong but is actually keeping her up all hours of the night and Sophia wonders where Ted was her to waltz her down the aisle after Dorothy and Stan got divorced.
Episode 58: Then Why Does It Say The Explosion Was So Great it Shattered Windows In The Building Next Door?!
What is there to say about Gil Kessler that hasn't already been said? This episode hits on a plethora of big issues including sensationalized politics, trans representation, why it's so hard to believe women, toxic masculinity, and of course the challenges of picking out the perfect tie/sock/hanky combo. We talk about what works here, what doesn't, and speculate as to why this one isn't as celebrated in the Golden Girls queer canon as some others.
PS. Run, don't walk, to watch Disclosure: Trans Lives on Screen on Netflix.
Episode 57: Comrade Rose Attempts to Broker an International Peace Deal--NBD!
Rose is leading another pseduo-Girl Scout troop and this time she's concerned about nuclear war. In one of the most bizzare episodes, Rose writes to both the American and Soviet governments calling for peace, but only the Soviets respond. There's a Coca-Cola shower, a bangin' jingle about Medicare and of course a dream sequence that features all four Girls speaking at Red Square. Off the wall, but that's why The Golden Girls is the second best thing about America (after Slurpee, of course)
Episode 56: (56?!) Fears, Bolts, and a Buzzed Dorothy
From public speaking at Aunt Gretchen's funeral, to a totally unheard-of fear of flying, to a completely ridiculous phobia of being surrounded by bald men in an enclosed space, Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche each face their biggest fears in this episode. It's also the first of four appearances by Meg Wyllie, who delivers the best line of the entire episode with "yes, that's it -- the beverage cart." Real ones know.
Very Special Episode with Jared Clayton Brown
In this very special episode, we talk to popular culture scholar Jarden Clayton Brown about his paper Sex and the City, Platinum Edition: How The Golden Girls Altered American Situation Comedy. We talk about the popularity and the cultural impact of the show, and how the Golden Girls used the Norman Lear style of gently and indirectly presenting audiences with heavy subject-matter.
Episode 55: Marguerite Deserved Better
Peak Golden Girls scholarship here! In this episode on The Housekeeper, we praise Paula Kelly's performance as Marguerite, call out a couple of the laugh-out-lines, and spend some time critiquing the use of a racist trope here. On the flip side, the writer of this episode, Winifred Hervey, deserves a nod for recognizing that the Girls' stereotyping of Marguerite could be used against them, and boy was it ever.
Morgan Parker's Magical Negro book of poems: https://tinhouse.com/book/magical-negro/
Episode 54: Two Grown Women Record a Podcast about a Pig and He's the One With a Mental Problem?
WELCOME BAABYY! This is an off-the-wall episode wherein Rose inherits responsibility for her dear old uncle's pet pig (although, not that dear, since she's unclear on his offspring). The rest of the girls are initially definitive "no"s but when Baby's escort/attorney reveals that care of the pig comes with a $100K bonus, they change their tune, at least temporarily.
Dr. Elizabeth Yuko and the Intersection of Bioethics, The Golden Girls & COVID-19
In this Very Special Episode, we are joined by Dr. Elizabeth Yuko, an award-winning journalist and an adjunct professor of ethics at Fordham University. We found Elizabeth through her 2016 Ted Talk called “Everything I Know About Bioethics I Learned from The Golden Girls," which, as we continue to navigate a global pandemic, has never been more relevant. Elizabeth shares specific examples of how the Golden Girls tackled topics like generalized health, ethics of physicians, sexual health, and shares how she recently referenced Dorothy's world-famous takedown of Dr. Budd in her own real-life struggles to convince medical professionals to take her seriously.
Episode 53: ♫ Gonna Stuff a Chicken ♫
Episode 52: Jenny Lewis and The Blues
In this first episode of the third season, we discuss the adorable relationship between Sophia and Alvin, and reflect on what makes the diagnosis of Alzheimer's--for Alvin and anyone else affected by this awful disease--so devastating. Because the A-story is so heavy, the B-story has to be equal parts ridiculous and hilarious, and that is exactly what we get when little Daisy (aka Jenny Lewis) bearnaps Rose's beloved Fernando and holds him for ransom.
Episode 51: Rita Moreno's Nest Might Be Empty, But Ours Isn't!
Episode 50: Deleted by Authority of the Governor
What do Cheryl Strayed, Señor Frogs, and DZ Discovery Zone have in common? They’re all mentioned in this episode! This clip show is the penultimate episode of the second season and includes Dorothy’s birthday party at Mr. Ha-Ha’s Hotdog Hacienda, a flashback to the Petrillo home in Brooklyn, an utterly heartbreaking monologue from Betty White as a recent widow back in St. Olaf, and culminates in a conga line and finally, a successful surprise birthday party for Blanche. What a load of fun!
Episode 49: George Clooney Gets Shot--Good Thing He's Got Health Insurance!
Episode 48: It Takes Discipline to Shut The F*ck Up
Hello Mother Dorothy. Kate and Dennis come back to Richmond Street amid marital discord. Dennis cheated, and Dorothy, still reeling from Stan's habitual infidelity, is heartbroken at first, but that quickly turns to anger, confusion, and disappointment when Kate decides to stay with Dennis. Someone is projecting, hence the title of this episode. Plus, Rose and Blanche stay up all night watching I L̶i̶k̶e̶ Love Lucy, a show that Rose has never seen due to her inexplicably active sex life.
Episode 47: Jake is the Sexiest Man Alive
The girls are putting together a charity banquet for a local hospital and Blanche falls for the hunky, yet unrefined caterer. Why we need to hold fundraisers for medical expenses in America is a topic for another time, but this episode is not without critical discourse. The class divide between Blanche and Jake, who pushes his food with his fingers and wears white after labor day, seems to be the major problem here, but actually, when we dig a little deeper, it's really just a matter of the SPARK. Plus, this one features a jazz band made up entirely of drag queens. What a load of fun!
A Very Special Episode with Meanwhile At The Podcast's George & Kristin
The Golden Girls had a ton of celebrity guest stars, pop-cultural references, repeat guest appearances and more. To help us recall all those who are so famous they need not be mentioned in this description, we called in some help. Our friends George and Kristin who host Meanwhile at the Podcast are experts on pop culture, fandom, and comics (you'll be surprised how much Batman 66 comes up!) and they were kind enough to come on our show and go down the very long list of famous faces who made appearances on our beloved Golden Girls.
Check out their show here: https://meanwhileatthepodcast.libsyn.com/
Episode 46: Dorothy Prepares A.C. Slater for Bayside High
Mario Lopez guest stars in this wildly problematic episode, which has not one, but two offensive and outdated storylines! The A-story features Dorothy tutoring Mario, played by Mario Lopez, a gifted young writer (despite his trouble spelling 'February'). Eventually, we learn that Mario is undocumented and facing deportation, and that's where the 'rah-rah America' of the Reagan-era seeps through, with Dorothy encouraging him to "come back and do it the right way." Yuck! In the B story, Rose attempts to reconcile with Blanche by serving as her vedenfreugen, or PERSONAL SLAVE, so yeah, there are some issues in this one.
Episode 45: Beauty is in the Eye of the Bea-Holder
Rose is a burgeoning filmmaker in this one and decides her first (and to our knowledge) the only documentary will be a day in the life of her roommates. Sophia sees it as a great opportunity for free publicity (for only $5.99 the recipe can be yours) and Dorothy, who receives crueler treatment in this one than usual, is hesitant at first but eventually comes around. But Blanche provides the focus here--after a reunion with her sorority sisters, Blanche returns home upset because she 'wasn't the center of attention and no one said she was the prettiest.' Seeing herself on camera only makes it worse and she vows to pursue a perfect body through drastic plastic surgery. This one has us in its corner right up until the end when Blanche's entire self-worth is reinvigorated by a man!
Episode 44: Aunt Angela is Back & She Fried Count Bessie!
Guest star Nancy Walker returns as Angela, Sophia's sister, who has decided to move from Sicily to Miami (with only a single piece of luggage). Angela overstays her welcome with the girls as her apartment search becomes more and more complicated; none of these places have enough room for a goat! Sophia grows impatient and everything boils over when it looks like Angela has slaughtered and deep-fried the show biz chicken Rose is caring for.
Very Special Episode with Dr. Kate Browne!
Lauren and Sarah are joined by Dr. Kate Browne, a culture writer and essayist who wrote The Golden Girls edition of the TV Milestone Series. Kate holds a PhD in English studies from Illinois State University and researches pop culture and body-based autobiography. In this episode, we go chapter by chapter with an in-depth look at Kate's book. First, we look at Dorothy's sometimes unconventional gender performance and shifting desirability; next, we dig into Blanche's complicated relationship with motherhood & aging; Rose's chapter, perhaps the most intriguing, paints a failed picture of the American Dream, with Rose embodying the role of someone who did everything 'right' but still struggles; lastly, we talk about how Sophia drives the action as a trickster--bending plots to her own desires and offering moral lessons. You'll laugh, you'll learn, you might even slam down a few boilermakers during this one.
Buy Kate's book here: https://bit.ly/3b4wOlW
Golden Girls Podcast Enough Wicker: Official Trailer
Episode 43: Dorothy Tries to Help A Holy Man in that *Special* Way
Dorothy's romantic escapades are the center of this one. She really should have made that pamphlet. Laying the groundwork for Fleabag, Dorothy develops a crush on a hip teacher she hopes is wearing a Nehru jacket, but he turns out to be a priest. Blanche insists she go for it anyway, Rose is distracted by the tushie of love, and Sophia, in between writing letters to Hugh Downs about her corrupt Bingo game, warns of hellfire. This one is full of laughs and particularly amazing outfits.
Golden Girls Fashion Corner: https://goldengirlsfashion.com/
Episode 42: Sweet Jesus Is This A Weird Episode
If nothing else, this episode offers shoutouts to Lauren's stepdad, a long-time fan of chipped beef, and our rad friend and unofficial Sicily researcher Gina. Bedtime Story is a flashback episode of the Golden Girls; it's pretty out there, but there are a couple of LOL moments. We're laughing WITH the writers, not AT them as we take a look back at this Season 2 clip show.
Episode 41: An Abandoned Baby and An Octogenarian Olympic Hopeful
On the Eve of our Dear Betty White's Birthday, we bring you this LOLfest. Sophia enters a walkathon and while she initially shows a strong performance in the 80+ category, she experiences every runner's worst nightmare and hits the wall. Meanwhile, the other girls decide to babysit the children of the race participants and have two notable guests: a little punk named Norman (whose father is played by Family Feud's Ray Combs!) and baby Emily. Emily takes to Blanche right away, and soon the feeling is mutual. Emily serves as a way for the audience to really get to hear about Blanche's regrets around motherhood and wow is it a heartbreaker. Despite the heavy throughline of Blache's regret and a lowkey neglectful child services agency, this one is full of laugh out loud lines.
Episode 40: I Ate Life Once
Anyone who knows the kind and gentle Rose Nylund knows she would do anything for a friend or a neighbor, even if that included making two wedding cakes. This attitude gets the best of Rose and she ends up in the hospital with what thankfully turns out to just be an esophageal spasm (try to say that three times fast). After what she interprets as a near-death experience, Rhonda (oops, we mean Rose!) embraces a lifestyle that would seemingly go against the doctor's orders of staying out all night and partying with her new beach friends. As is often the case with minor tifts on Richmond Street, Rose packs up and moves out. The girls thankfully reconcile and all ends well, but wow what a ride!
Episode 39: Mr. Patrick Vaughn Starring In...not Our Town?
Merry Christmas waterliles! Our gift to you is this LOL-filled episode featuring Mr. Patrick Vaughn, the hunkiest hunk that ever hunked! The Actor is in town to join the cast of what we always thought was a local production of Our Town, but is actually a parody of the Paul Newman show, Picnic. The girls each vie for his affection, though Blanche inflates her efforts (da-da-ching). Meanwhile, Sophia gets a job at a pirate-themed restaurant.
Episode 38: One Episode for Every Year of Marriage
In this season 2 gem, Blanche dates twins and Stanley undergoes heart surgery. Truly, everyone in the house is doubling up on their vitamins! In this one, we take a scholarly look at the relationships between Dorothy, Stan, and Sophia, and ask ourselves why so many women find themselves bending over backward (like Doug) doing emotional labor for men who don't deserve it.
Episode 37: The Grudge
I'd like to write a description here but I hate your mother. Kidding!
Dorothy recruits Blanche and Rose (reluctantly) to help her surprise Sophia with what she thinks is a great birthday gift--a surprise visit from her sister Angela. The two women haven't seen each other in decades, and it turns out, there's a reason for the distance. Nancy Walker guest stars in this hilarious episode.
Episode 35: How DO you spell 'Saskatchewan'?
There is nothing worse than watching your friend suffer because their romantic life is in the garbage. Well, actually catfishing that friend by assuming the identity of one Mr. Issac Q. Newton, a citrus farmer from central Canada might be. Blanche and Dorothy have their hearts in the right place, but no one knows where the hell their brains are when they try to trick Rose out of her dating slump. Meanwhile, Sophia tries to fight off the advances of an English golddigger.
Episode 34: Gaugins?! What Are You, A Pervert?!
Dorothy's job hunt isn't going well, so Blanche insists she comes and works with her at the museum. It sounds great at first, but when their loser boss Mr. Allen asks Dorothy to discreetly work on something, Blanche gets territorial. Specifically, she tells Dorothy to 'eat dirt and die, trash,' so things get a little tense at home and in the office. All the while Rose introduces us to the first iteration of recurring guest star, Dreyfus. Plus, Lauren and Sarah ruin two of your favorite things: surprises and dogs.
Episode 33: When the Revolution Comes, You'll Be Glad You Don't Got a View
Ok now everybody SHUT THE HELL UP. We're talking about Vacation, arguably the goofiest episode of the first season. Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose go on a vacation that starts with a skeezy motel and ends with the three of them shipwrecked on a deserted island thanks to the subpar sailing skills of their new friends. Meanwhile, Sophia tries to woo the gardener, which is mostly cute to watch, though her tactics involve quite a few microaggressions.
Episode 32: Michael and Bridget Share More Than A Cab
When Dorothy's son Michael and Rose's daughter Bridget visit at the same time, the seemingly inevitable happens, and the two share a night of so-so sex (too much wine) in Blanche's bed. Because this is a sitcom, all four of the women walk in on them, and the awkwardness makes for a really awkward and icky confrontation between Dorothy and Rose.
Episode 31: The Widdah Spencer is Cuter than an Intrauterine
Happy Halloween! It is the perfect time to get out your bolo tie because Big Daddy Hollingsworth is back in Miami! This time to introduce Blanche to his would-be bride, Margaret Spencer, aka the Widow (pronounced Widdah) Spencer. Excited at first, Blanche's enthusiasm quickly deflates when she realizes Margaret is barely 40, or as Blanche puts it, "practically my age." Meanwhile, Dorothy and Rose enter a songwriting contest and butt heads over whether or not an extra "Miami is Nice" hurts the music. This episode is, in every sense, a hootnanny.
Episode 30: Isn't Danny Thomas One?
Dorothy's college roommate and all-around lovely person Jean is in town for a visit. Though she lives her life out and proud, Rose's fascination with ice cream sundaes and Blanche's immediate insistence that she go out with a man from the discard pile inspires Jean to keep the lesbian thing her hat. But you know what they say about the Lebanese--they bring a u-haul to the second date. Jean finds herself IN LOVE with Rose, a woman she met three days prior. This one is full of laughs, tender moments, and puts a queer character--not the sexuality of a queer character--at the center of the story.
Episode 29: RIP Pfreida Claxton
There is nothing like civic participation. In this episode, we see all four ladies rally together to save an old Oak tree on Richmond Street. While their petitioning tactics vary (and are sometimes questionable), it is admirable to see how seriously they take environmental and historical conservation. The girls have a formidable opponent in Freida Claxton, a crotchety peeping tom of a neighbor who insists the county get rid of the tree, and when Freida pushes Rose to pfar, she is forced to take matters into her own hands.
A Very Special Episode with Very Special Guest Debbie Macey!
We sat down with the lovely and brilliant Deborah A. Macey, a communications scholar currently teaching at the University of Portland, to talk about her paper, Ancient Archetypes in Modern Media: A Comparative Analysis of Golden Girls, Living Single, and Sex & The City. In this interview, our new pal Debbie regales us with how she came up with her dissertation topic and how she went about assigning each of the girls to their designated archetype, a challenge considering how much "slippage" there is between the fab four.
PS. For all those cold Saturday nights when you're looking to curl up with a good book, these are the works Debbie cites in the interview:Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, and Culture by Julia T. Wood Goddesses in Everywoman: Powerful Archetypes in Women's Lives by Jean Shinoda Bolen The Goddess: Mythological Images of the Feminine by Christine Downing The Implied Spider: Politics & Theology in Myth by Wendy Doniger
Episode 28: Feeling Magenta? Eat a BLP!
Stanley, king of the yutzes, shows up and needs a friend. Since Dorothy is busy with her new naval officer boyfriend, she calls in a favor from Blanche. The two hit it off platonically, but their new-found closeness still leaves Dorothy feeling a little jealous, confused, angry--magenta--all of which becomes exacerbated by the end of her own relationship. Meanwhile, Rose and Sophia team up to muscle in on Johnny No Thumbs by selling sandwiches at a construction site, a standard business venture for a couple of aging women.
Episode 27: Burt, Butter, and Payback
In what can only be described as a classic, the girls win three tickets to see Mr. Burt Reynolds (who really appears in this episode and apparently wears monogrammed underwear) at a star-studded event. Ever the Tonto of the group, Sophia is left out and while Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose feel bad for a moment, they mostly think 'WHO CARES!" The tables turn, however, when the girls are arrested and need Sophia to bail them out. During their time in the slammer, Rose works through a nonsensical adolescent trauma, Blanche's inherent biases around class are revealed, and Dorothy rags on the public school system. All in all, this one is a real knee-slapper.
Episode 26: Minks, Menopause, and Stuff in a Garage
Episode 25: Golden Origins
E24: Get Out the Boots, He's Back!
Big Daddy Hollingsworth is in town with his antebellum lexicon and a gee-tar, as he informs Blanche that he sold the entire estate in order to pursue a country music singing career. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Sophia deal with Mr. Barton, aka "Mouth" and his complete disregard of neighborly responsibility through both civic involvement and the old stand-by, a Sicilian curse.
PS. Go to EnougWicker.com to check out the Golden Girls Starter Kit you heard about at the beginning of this episode and get ready to start spamming your novice friends!
Episode 23: Flying Blind
Turn on Channel 5, Lily burned the house down! Well, almost. Rose’s sister Lily, who recently lost her sight, comes for a visit, and the rest of the girls prep for the first of many garage sales at 6151 Richmond. The two stories allow the audience to bear witness to two equally difficult struggles: adjusting to life as a blind person and parting with a hockey stick once used by Bobby Hull.
Episode 22: Pretty Jumpy About Rose's Career Prospects
When Rose is laid off from her job as a grief counselor, she does what anyone would do---starts a pro bono 24-hour counseling service out of her home without telling anyone else that lives there. When that gets out of hand (pretty much right way, if you can believe it), Dorothy and Blanche step in to help their defeated friend in what turns out to be a very tender moment.
Episode 21: The Girls Get The Flu and We Get Our First Vibrator Joke
Episode 20: Bim, Bam, Boom, Sexual Harassment is Still a Huge Problem
Episode 19: Plumbers, Private Jets, and Misogyny
In this one, uh, Lou, Dorothy and Rose attempt to re-do their bathroom in the name of feminism, and Blanche contemplates marrying an old, rich man who uses racial slurs aboard his private jet. Plus, an homage to the late, great Rue la Rue cafe and an emphatic celebration of Sarah's husband's carpentry skills!
Episode 18: A Case of Morton's Neuroma and the Perils of the American Healthcare System
Episode 17: Lucy, Crockett, and Tubbs
Blanche's niece Lucy is in town and arrives with a bang (literally). The girls become concerned with Lucy's promiscuity, all while debating how to handle a field mouse who has taken up residency in their kitchen. Eventually, Blanche is able to offer Lucy some powerful words on self-respect and knowing your worth, and Rose finally finds a friend who appreciates her brain, if only for the vast amounts of useless Miami Vice knowledge it holds.
Episode 16: Estate Papers, Dickies, and A Snack You Can Panel Your Den With
In this episode, we break down the 16th episode of The Golden Girls, The Truth Will Out. Rose is forced to have a tough conversation with her daughter Kirsten about her will, which is made more difficult by Kirsten's hard-to-place accent. Plus, we explain what a dickie is and advocate for more girls to go to Space Camp for themselves!
Episode 15: Rose, the Killer
Rose wakes up to find Al Beatty dead in her bed, the second time a man has died while having sex with her. The girls help her work up the courage to tell Mrs. Beatty, who experiences all five stages of grief right before our eyes. Plus Sophia invents normcore and Rose dresses like a pilgrim. All a day in the life at 6151 Richmond!
Episode 14: Exploring the Morals of Dating a Married Man and Selling Your Friend a Lemon
Episode 13: Shrimp, Short-ribs and a Psychic to the Stars
In our 13th episode, we take a look at a great love story that never was--Rose Nylund and Dr. Jonathan Newman. Dorothy and Blanche stumble through dinner with this esteemed doctor who also happens to be a little person.
Episode 12: If Everybody Wants You, Why Isn't Anybody Callin?
We take a look at the 12th episode of the Golden Girls, which has us exploring the complexity of sibling rivalry and relationships as Gloria swoops into town. After a minor spat with Dorothy over her lack of social life, Sophia contemplates leaving her life with a slut and a moron to join her daughter who visits once a year in her mansion in Burt Convy's neighborhood.
Bonus! The Golden Girls & Gay Pride: A Very Special Episode
We are talking about the Girls and the Gays in our first Very Special Episode! In a lot of ways, the show was leaps and bounds ahead of mainstream American pop culture in regard to the LGBTQ community. From Jean to Clayton to Rambo the Caterer, we reminisce about our favorite queer-centric moments, examine why the show is still so pervasive in gay culture today, and express our deep appreciation that all four actresses walked the walk when it came to fighting for equal rights.
Episode 11: The Return of Stickman aka Big Stan's Return
Stanley is back in Miami in the 11th episode of the Golden Girls. He came to sell some property but somehow ended up in Dorothy's bed (and nightgown!). We break down how satisfying it is for Dorothy to finally choose to walk away on her own terms and examine the ethics of leaving your 80-year-old mother at home so you can go on vacation with your two best friends.
Episode 10: Scungilli Kills!
The girls have their first brush with death when Sophia goes from having a bubble in her chest to what she believes is a heart attack. We examine the finer points of this episode, such as Blanche's willingness to step in as the logical decision maker, Rose and Dorothy's shared vulnerability during a tender moment, and once again, how so many Miami doctors are still making house calls in the late 1980s.
Episode 9: Rose and her Older Mother
Episode 8: Fudge, Yarn and Gun
We take a look at the 8th episode of The Golden Girls, The Break-In. As the title suggests, the girls' home is broken into and each is left to deal with the mental anguish. Rose, ever the sensitive one, uses this moment to exploit Florida's lax gun laws, almost to the detriment of Lester!
Episode 7: Bowling with a Full Heart and Full Bosom
Episode 6: We Do For Family, We Don't For Rattails
Blanche's disrespectful grandson David visits Miami and learns important lessons about chores, discipline, and handicapped animals.
Episode 5: Ask the Towel Lady!
In The Triangle, Dorothy's housecall-making doctor boyfriend makes a pass at Blanche, and Blanche is put in the awkward position of having to decide whether to tell Dorothy and risk the repercussions, or watch her close friend pursue a future that will almost certainly end in heartbreak and a ruined coming out party.
Episode 4: Organ Transplants and Water-skiing Accidents: Bigger in the 80s?
We take a look at the 4th episode of The Golden Girls, Transplant. Blanche's sister Virginia makes her first appearance and comes with a big ask..she needs Blanche's kidney. A tough decision for anyone, but even tougher when you consider the bitter rivalry built growing up in Hollingsworth Manor. The other three girls care for a baby in one of the lazier B-stories.