Emotional Optimism: Living in The Silver Lining Podcast

Today Nov 21st, marks the 15-year anniversary of my cousin Dayn taking his life. We had adopted Dayn as our brother.  A phenomenal, gorgeous, handsome, funny, and grateful human being, Dayn was a light in this world and his light went out. In this episode, I’m sharing some things I’ve learned over the years that I would have told Dayn today – although he might be listening to me right now as well. So I’m sending all of these thoughts out into the universe today. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: On nurturing relationships On love, courage, patience, and belonging On joy, gratitude, and forgiveness On passion, purpose, and presence On acceptance and action Episode Highlights: [00:58] On Nurturing Relationships - Family first, last, and always. Blood will always run thicker than water. - There is nothing like lifelong friends. Cherish them, keep in touch, don't disappear, and don't ghost them. They will be your memory when you forget, but they will also love you always, and most often,  laugh at any of your bad jokes. - Answer the phone when you know the person calling needs to hear your voice. We may not use the phone much anymore these days since we use a lot of text messaging and everything else. But when that phone rings, pick it up. [01:35] On Love, Courage, Patience, and Belonging - True love is like water. True lust is like lightning.  Learn the difference. Make your choices wisely. - Courage – when you taste it, don’t give up. Keep moving with it and life opens up. - It's never too late to let love in. And it's never too late to let someone love the real you. It's never ever too late in the day to tell the people you love that you love them. - Limiting beliefs – we all have them. Once you spot them, do your best to not let them take over. When you can acknowledge them, smile and put them all in the backseat. - Worthiness, recognition, belonging, attention, love –  these are essential to us just like oxygen. - It's okay to be a late bloomer. Be patient, your time will come. [02:33] On Joy, Gratitude, and Forgiveness - Music – find what moves you and crank it up! - Bow down to each sunset, moonrise, and dawn… Bow down, rise up and give thanks! - Happiness is your birthright – and it is a choice. - Forgive yourself. Shame is a real killer of the soul. If you can’t kick it yourself, find someone to work it out with. You are bigger than it is. [03:04] On Passion, Purpose, and Presence - Never ever let someone steal your sunshine. There will be people who feel the need to do so… detach from them and walk into the light. Find stillness somewhere. - Pause enough to look and see the goodness in others. Do this on purpose. Take time to listen. And be curious. - Find a career that is not a job. Find what turns you on and lights you up and makes you want to get out of bed daily! - Keep the past in the past. [03:42] On Acceptance and Action - You are I and I am you. We are all the same. With that, there is no judgment. - It’s one thing to listen, and another thing to listen and act. Take action. Without it, there is no motion and there will be no outcome. You don't get points for holding back. Don't take yourself so seriously. We are all in this together. Finally, in the words of Dayn, dance as though no one was watching. Wishing everyone beautiful sunrises, gorgeous sunsets, and a warm holiday season!

We can really never truly feel a sense of belonging if we are constantly betraying ourselves. You might have heard of the term self-sabotage and wondered what that even means. Well, it’s actually the same thing as betraying yourself. And part of that self-sabotage is having that feeling that you’re not worthy of anything. You’re not worthy of being loved or worthy of loving yourself. You can mask the pain with all the substances and relationships you have, but that will never go away unless you face it head-on. Don’t come looking for the solution outside when all the answers you need are right inside of you. You are worthy of loving yourself. You are worthy of being loved. You are enough. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Your self-awareness journey is your birthright Looking into the ways we’re sabotaging ourselves Our responsibility to take care of one another Episode Highlights: [02:43] How to Find a Sense of Belonging Some people might say emotions shouldn’t be in the workplace. But then as leaders, what are we running from? Finding a self of belonging is everybody’s work. And in order to do that, you have to find ways to develop self-awareness and practice vulnerability as a leader. If you’re sabotaging or betraying yourself, there’s that feeling that you’re not worthy of anything. And that you don’t even have the right to be vulnerable. But this is everyone’s responsibility, not just yours. It is our responsibility to take care of one another. And the only way to truly do that authentically is to be vulnerable with ourselves. Look at the things you might be running from and ways in which you are sabotaging and betraying your own sense of belonging. It takes time, it takes work, and it takes support. But you can definitely start this journey of silencing self-sabotage by reaching out to others who might also be silencing their own selves through their own self-sabotage.

Gone are the days of leadership when leaders would never show an ounce of weakness. Vulnerability used to be seen as a flaw, .but it can actually be a superpower in the toolbox of anyone on their own hero journey. In this conversation, Colonel J. Scot Heathman, a retired Air Mobility Wing Commander, shares his love of Star Wars, skills he learned and developed in the Air Force, and the power of spreading positivity in leadership. Whether it’s getting involved in the community or serving his country, Scot has always loved doing something bigger than himself. Joining the Air Force was a way for him to accomplish his dream while serving at the same time. Scot is now getting into coaching and consulting, with the mission to help elevate others. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: How Star Wars was based on the hero’s journey The power of having a vision Being vulnerable enough to talk out loud as a leader How to spread a higher level of positivity in your team The power of servant leadership in the military Working with different generations Episode Highlights: [05:35] How to Stay Optimistic as a Leader It's important for a leader to have that vision that they can also give to their team to make sure everyone is headed in the same direction. Having that vision fuels your optimism, which also fuels how you lead the team. Surround yourself with people who have a high level of optimism and stay away from those who are fond of using the victim card. [16:47] How to Spread Positivity in Leadership As a leader, be vulnerable enough to talk out loud to your team about some things in your weekly meetings. Tell them not to take things personally if, at times, you just don’t feel at your 100% best. That little dialogue with them wipes out any perception, judgment, or defensiveness. Understand the psychology of positivity in the workplace because it leads to a higher level of performance as well as better relationships. Take subtle risks to show somebody or a team that there is some good out there. Kindness on display is not a bad thing. There are a lot of crises happening right now and people need a bit of level-headedness. Even a little pick-me-up or telling them you got their back is so subtle. That level of optimism could change the nature of a crisis and how you work through it. Be able to see your team from 20,000 feet up to know what's going on in your organization. See how you can connect people with each other and foster diversity in thinking. At the same time, don’t just stay at the 20,000-foot perspective.  Go down and get the frontline perspective and see it from there to get a richer picture. That probably means more listening and watching than talking. [50:38] Working with Different Generations If you have Gen Z members in your team and they’re not used to struggles, give them challenging experiences in a safe environment. Let them work through things on their own. You have to zoom in and out to see how beautiful things are at all levels. Resources Mentioned: Website: www.elevating-others.com Instagram: @jscotheathman

It’s not about winging your answers to the questions thrown at you. The point is – if you’re a great leader, your leadership skills are not something you need to read about before any conversation. It’s all common sense. And so, the next time you’re asked to be interviewed, you can tell the interviewer to save their questions. Besides, there’s nothing better than having a natural and spontaneous conversation about something that is so intuitive to you. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Staying in your strength Kindness and empathy are common sense if you’re a great leader Some traits of a leader that should be a natural part of us Episode Highlights: [00:58] Should You Prepare for Leadership Conversations? If you’re a great leader, there’s no need for you to prepare or read about leadership before having any leadership conversations because everything you do is just common sense for you. You don’t need to know the questions ahead of time to talk about the things you’re passionate about because that should naturally come through. [01:46] A Natural Part of You Your ability to listen and your desire to better something for someone else are things that should be a natural part of you. Empathy, kindness, and vulnerability are as natural as breathing , and not something that you need to study before talking about it. As a leader, you’re standing at the ready – with heart, intuition, and common sense. You’re ready to serve, take care of people, be with them and ride with them. You’re there to guide them. And all of that is who you are already. It’s not something you need to think about when you’re asked about these things.

In this episode, I’m switching chairs with my good friend, Andrea Wetherald, as she interviews me. We go in-depth about starting life over again at 40, leading people, and walking together on this journey. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Claude’s dream at 9yr old to be a movie director Finding your creative outlets Starting life again at 40 Everyone’s responsibility to cultivate the culture in your workplace Making people seen and heard Dealing with burnout Episode Highlights: [16:32] Building a Healthy Work Culture Develop a mindset in your workplace that gives off a vibe where everyone is just walking each other home. There are minutiae, but as humans, there's not a whole lot of difference. We all experience similar emotions. We’re all going to experience traumatic situations at some point because that's just how life is. We’re also going to go through our own healing journey. We're all going to experience loss, joy, happiness, and wonder. As a leader, you have to be able to instill in your managers the importance of caring about people and what they’re working on outside of work. Think about how you can serve and show up because that is what you’re called to do. As a leader, you’re there to hold your people’s hearts and help them hold their own hearts. [25:24] Getting Past Your Fear of Advocating for Yourself When you’re in a room full of people, it’s normal to have that fear of speaking up. But you’re not going to get any points for holding back. You’ve got to learn how to advocate for yourself. If you're invited to a meeting, you're there for a reason. Speak up. There are a lot of things that may get in the way – hierarchy, limiting beliefs, etc. – but cultivating the culture of a workplace should be everyone’s responsibility. Look to create a space where everyone can share their ideas because no idea is wrong. It doesn’t mean every idea is going to be accepted, but at least they know there’s a safe space for them to be seen and heard.

In the wake of the Great Resignation, there's this real desire to make "work" work for everybody. And so, we have to unpack what that means and what that looks like. In this episode, Deepa Purushothaman shares her journey as a woman of color who, although an ultra-achiever in corporate America, made the decision to walk away and serve a deeper purpose. Growing up, Deepa had a lot of questions about identity as one of the five students of color in her school. Her mother and her sister were very light-skinned while Deepa and her father were darker-skinned. They didn't talk about race at home and this happens to a lot of immigrant families. There was a lot of confusion and Deepa didn't have a sense of feeling she belonged. She ended up questioning herself– why she was not enough–when nothing ever had to do with her. Deepa served as a corporate executive and a partner at Deloitte, being the first Indian female that made partner. After 21 years, Deepa left at the height of her career and in the early stages of COVID because she knew she was just done. She eventually started a company focused on creating a community and helping women of color advance, and she also wrote the book The First, the Few, the Only: How Women of Color Can Redefine Power in Corporate America. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Growing up in an immigrant family of color Walking away at the height of her career Reflecting on the way people work Three questions for self-introspection Trusting your body to find that wisdom Signals that your workplace is not for you Redefining leadership and how we can change the future of work Episode Highlights: [10:21] The Power of Community Deepa wrote the book realizing that in these spaces where we're navigating and having to figure it out, we have these shared stories around microaggressions, racism, and othering or just feeling like you didn't belong. There's magic in those rooms where we can unpack what needs to be unpacked and hold space for each other. [11:53] Questioning the Way We Work Although the book is focused on women of color, it does apply to so many people. It's a critique of the way we work and the model we're in. There is a real overworking, overperforming, and a real deep sense of security ingrained in so many women they don't even realize it. Coming out of COVID, everyone is asking questions such as:  What is the space I want work to take in my life? How do we do more fulfilling work? The book opens up a whole conversation around people's willingness to understand so we can make work work for everybody. A lot of us are measured by external accolades and success. Deepa shares these three questions you should start asking yourself: - What would you do if you didn't do this job? - Do you have to do a big job like this to feel worthy? - Don't you  see that you are worthy of just being you? We should not lose this moment that we're in, in terms of how we work, where we work, and all the questions in the last few years that have opened up an opportunity to do things differently. We're in a moment where we need more people to stay. But more of us are also awakening to the disconnects. And so this is a fascinating time to be asking these questions. Resources Mentioned: The First, the Few, the Only: How Women of Color Can Redefine Power in Corporate America 

So often, we are literally using a ruler to measure our worth based on what someone else thinks of us, or here's a real crazy part. What we think they think of us what we think they think of us. Remember what you think of yourself how you walk into the room, the energy you carry, that is what matters because it matters to you first and foremost.

Do you have FOMO (fear of missing out)? Or are you just a voracious reader or avid learner who wants to constantly learn new, different things? At some point, you just have to learn to pause, take the time to read your mind, and ultimately realize that you don’t need anything else – because you are enough! In this episode, sales and business growth coach and consultant, Martin Stellar, shares his insights into the power of reading your own mind as well as how to change your perspective in dealing with problems. Martin also stresses the importance of getting over yourself so you can focus on your customers or buyers instead. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Entering the monastery Changing your perspective on problems Living in the monastery vs. the outside world Dealing with external vs. internal struggles Why you need to get over yourself The “good egg” problem Not a numbers game, but people game The power of reading your mind Episode Highlights: [05:19] A Change in Perspective on Dealing with Problems – Both Externally and Internally There is really nothing for you to make a fuss about because if you change your perspective, the problem becomes irrelevant and completely immaterial. When you’re experiencing external struggles or worldly problems, you can always deal with them by reading about them, Googling them, or getting a mentor or a coach. You can always find the solutions. On the other hand, when you’re fighting against your internal battles, like self-arrogance, for instance, you may try to ignore that for years. But at some point when a pivoting moment finally happens, you have no other choice but to face yourself. And you can only deal with it either by letting that go or by learning to accept yourself despite your shortcomings. [14:26] Get Over Yourself – and Focus on the Buyer! Stop making it all about yourself when you're running your business. It's not about you, but your customers. Focus on them, be curious, and ask questions about them. Price is irrelevant at this point and you'll get that later anyway. But first, connect with your customers, show empathy, and see where that takes you. Once people make that switch, then sales and marketing will just come naturally without having to feel that you always have to do something. [14:59] Not a Numbers Game, But a People Game Realize that we are all separate beings and each of us is just a drop of water in this vast ocean. Now, what if you could stop thinking about your own droplets? Look at the other drop, and ask yourself questions about that person. Instead of pitching yourself, step in with an open mind. Find out what is going on in the other person's life. what their concerns and visions are, and how they should solve them. Once you have sought permission to join them in that conversation going on in their head then both of you can create a shared vision and move forward together because you're not trying to sell something to somebody. [37:00] The Power of Reading Your Mind You could be a voracious reader, but how much do you actually remember what you read? How much of the knowledge, insights, and connections do you actually deploy in what you do? Sometimes, you have to let your thoughts meander and see what connections come up and just process everything in your mind instead of constantly adding information to it. Sometimes, you don’t need anything more than what you already have because you’re already complete as you are.

“It’s impossible,” said Pride. “It’s risky,” said Experience. “It’s pointless,” said Reason. “Give it a try,” whispered the Heart. This popular quote is a perfect depiction of this new era of leadership in the future of work. Leadership used to be something that just came from the top. People were bound by the confines of an organizational hierarchy that lead with fear and at times held them back from growing and flourishing. But we’re now ushering into this new space of leadership where more and more companies have taken the courage to add color and texture to their culture, and have become more intentional with their leadership – which is to lead with a heart. In today’s episode, find out how you can change the kind of leadership in your business today and what your next practice should be for your company? Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: The new era of leadership How we can change our leadership today Focusing on your next practices instead of best practices Episode Highlights: [00:50] The New Era of Leadership We are now headed into an era where leadership at work is now filled with heart, courage, vulnerability, grace, curiosity, resilience, generosity, humility, acceptance, and so much more. We see humanity and empathy at work that the workspace now has never felt more alive and fluid. We’re moving into a space where it’s okay for leaders to embrace and express vulnerability – they know they don’t have to have all the answers, nor do they have all the answers. It’s not always about being right, but about being better in the world. Author Daniel Pink says, “Companies are finally realizing that we’re full-fledged human beings, not single-minded economic robots.” And that’s the way forward – 100% human at work. [02:20] Transforming Leadership Leadership transformation begins with those tough conversations. Have open discussions with your people and teams about real-world events. Make sure your employees feel seen, heard, valued, and that they matter. Provide them with challenges and opportunities for growth. Now, how are you able to do that? This is all about the next practices, not the best practices. It’s no longer about what you did in the past that contributed to your business’ success. But what are the things you can do moving forward to help you evolve, and where are you evolving to? Coming out of this pandemic, we all find ourselves in a space of great transformation. Now, it’s up to you how that transformation is going to look like for your company. Ultimately, it takes courage for you to set aside your pride, experience, and reason, and start listening to your heart to become the space where all the magic happens!

Forgiveness is the most important skill you can have as a leader because it takes courage to take accountability and to allow yourself to be vulnerable. In this discussion, Andrea Flack-Wetherald talks about how you can use forgiveness as a superpower in leading so you can find joy in your life and your work. Author of the book, The Funny Thing About Forgiveness, Andrea highlights lessons from improvised comedy and mindfulness practice, teaching leaders how to master the art of forgiveness by making it a part of their daily lives. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Why forgiveness is the most important leadership skill How she found her love of improv Choosing curiosity instead of judgment How forgiveness gives support and accountability together The concept of motivational interviewing The coming together of mindful improv with motivational interviewing Building a culture based on trust What forgiveness looks like in confrontation Episode Highlights: [11:33] Finding Her Love of Improv Andrea did an improv workshop for the first time with a group of social workers who were helping refugees that had come to America and then found themselves becoming victims of domestic violence. Andrea reminded them that they were already living improv and they were even good at it. It was just a matter of identifying the tools they have so they could readily call upon them as needed. At that moment, Andrea realized her purpose on earth. [13:05] How Improv Helps Your Daily Life Through improv, you’re able to connect with people and explore with curiosity rather than judgment because you’re creating that safe space to just be who you are. It’s a tool belt you can use where, sometimes, you may need a chisel, or sometimes, you need a hammer. And so, you just use whatever comes in handy at that moment. Improv teaches you the principles of being present and trusting that everything you need is inside of you. [16:52] Forgiveness is the Most Important Leadership Skill Forgiveness is the most important leadership skill because everything else that you aspire to do as a leader hinges upon whether or not you’re carrying around shame, resentment, or fear. And only through forgiveness – forgiving yourself and giving yourself the grace to be authentic – are you able to free yourself up from those things. [36:14] Why Forgiveness Has to Come First It’s commonplace that when we forgive, we do it backward. We muster the courage to enter into confrontation and then see if somebody earns our forgiveness. But forgiveness has to come first. Don’t put your freedom in someone else's hands because once you’ve forgiven first, you’re also inviting the other person on this growth journey with you. Resources Mentioned: www.andbeyondimprov.com The Funny Thing About Forgiveness Twitter: @andreawetherald

The word "mental" is often thrown around, and it does make sense considering how the term is often associated with academic fields like psychology and psychiatry. However, the mere use of the term somehow ignites this stigma, which has been used by society for many years to signify crazy, deranged, or out of mind. Mental health, mental fitness, mental issues – these are words that are still creating some stigma. And so, people who are going through something feel like they don’t have a safe space to be who they are, afraid that they would be judged. As a society, we have to be more conscious and aware of how we’re using the term “mental” to de-stigmatize what someone is going through emotionally. This then shifts how we look at things from a mental perspective into focusing more on a person’s emotional health and wellness. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Using mental illness as a label on someone or something Using emotional health or fitness instead Episode Highlights: As a society, we loosely use the term “mental” to label people, things, and even soft skills and hard skills. But someone hearing it who’s going through something may probably be feeling shame or embarrassment that they want to run away because they don’t want to be labeled as such. Now, what if we could all be more aware and more intentional with not using the term at all and instead, use the word “emotional” when referring to health or fitness? Not only does it take help to take the sting away, it also makes people who are going through these emotional challenges feel like they’re seen, heard, and understood. And knowing they have that safe space to be who they are is a good start. Quote: “When we use the term mental illness as a label… there is a person who is cringing and hiding their head in shame and embarrassment.” “Words like mental health and mental illness ignite this stigma… why not use the word emotional health?”

How do you create a culture of kindness in the workplace? In today’s episode, Linda Cohen talks about the power of doing intentional acts of kindness and the ripple effect that can transform your life and your business. After her father died, Linda started a 1,000-Mitzvah (act of kindness) project in his memory. Five years later, she translated her project into how it affects businesses and organizations and how leaders can bring kindness in the workplace. In her book, The Economy of Kindness: How Kindness Transforms Your Bottom Line, she talks about how successful organizations are thriving because they make their people feel like they are humans – not just a number, not just doing a job, and not just punching a clock. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Living an intentional life of kindness How her 1,000-mitzvah project changed her life Intentional acts of kindness Kindness in the workplace What holds people back from being kind The ripple effect of kindness The grace of receiving kindness Creating a culture of kindness Episode Highlights: [06:41] Acts of Loving Kindness Doing acts of kindness doesn’t have to be pre-planned. It could be whatever idea that comes up on any given day. Pick up garbage on the way to the park or help someone in the grocery store. Open the door for someone, say thank you, or write a quick text or note to someone. These acts of kindness don’t require much of our time. It costs us nothing and it pays us everything. It’s something that you do for another human being just because you took the time to put your phone down and look at another human being. [09:14] Kindness in the Workplace Kindness sometimes gets a "bad rap" because people call it a weakness. They think a leader who shows kindness is too vulnerable, too unguarded, and doesn't have the authority needed to run the organization. But the opposite is true. Especially during the pandemic, people are now talking about hiring for soft skills and training for the hard skills, because you can't necessarily teach an employee to be a kind, giving, caring, empathetic person but you could teach them the hard skills. [11:50] What Holds People Back from Being Kind Three things that hold people back from being kind are stress, time, and overwhelm. Research shows that engaging in acts of kindness intentionally reduces feelings of stress and anxiety because you are now "othering" and there's a giver's high that comes from them. [13:42] Three Lessons About Kindness 3 Lessons about kindness: The size of the kindness might not matter. There is often an unexpected ripple effect. Giving and receiving kindness are different gifts. Kindness is no longer a "nice to have" soft skill in the workplace. A kinder employee will make a better employee, a better manager and a better leader. Leaders that develop their kindness skills will excel. Organizations that cultivate intentional kindness practices as a core value will have improved employee retention and morale. They will also have an enhanced bottom line! [19:40] Creating a Culture of Kindness If you create a culture where people feel valued, respected, and seen, you’re creating a work environment that people want to be in. Consider hiring for soft skills to make sure the people you bring into your organization fit the kind of culture you want to create. Resources Mentioned: The Economy of Kindness by Linda Cohen

What differentiates luxury service from ordinary service is that it’s not transactional – it’s relationship-driven. But how do you communicate in a real, authentic manner that grabs on to the hearts and souls of your customers? With 32 years of experience in hospitality, Bart Berkey, former Ritz-Carlton Global Executive, shares some best practices in exceptional customer experience. Bart is the author of Most People Don't (and Why You Should) where he shares inspiring ideas about exceptional doing, going above and beyond, and sharing kindness. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: How Bart got into the hospitality world What led him to write his book Customer service –  should there be one? How to create exceptional experiences for customers Best practices in the world of human interaction Feeling worthy about giving and receiving Episode Highlights: Customer Service - Should There Be One? Luxury hotels are built on the premise of customer service – not just any transactional customer service, but authentic, exceptional experience.  For instance, a lot of sales people representing hotels will talk about square footage or about their 43-inch television screen. But these are only table stakes that poor customer service can trample down easily. At the end of the day, it’s all about the stories that people tell about your company. As a business, it’s important to cultivate a culture of exceptional customer experience as you’re building and growing your brand. But how do you do that? Luxury service is all about going above and beyond. Do what most people don’t – and that’s anticipating their unexpected, and often, unpronounced needs. It doesn't need to cost you a lot of money. It’s as simple as getting the door for someone or delighting your customer with the little things like extra towels, free-flowing coffee, or whatever that looks like for your business. These are things you can do simply by listening and observing. And the key to making that happen is to hire the right people who have that propensity to deliver amazing, exceptional service. Best Practices in the World of Human Interaction When interacting with customers, keep your eyes and ears open. Ask questions and understand what their needs are and what problems you can solve for them. Make customer (and employee) experiences unique and memorable, and also make them fun and interactive. Be authentic and let your passion fuel your actions. When having conversations with your employees, you want to see and feel that you're affecting them. Remember their birthdays, celebrate for no reason, show your gratitude, and recognize the little things they do. Doing what most people don't is what makes all the difference. Resources Mentioned: www.bartaberkey.com Most People Don't (and Why You Should)

Matthew Zaremba is a multidisciplinary artist best known for his minimalist illustrations examining the human condition and the intricacies of the head and the heart. Boston-based and internationally recognized, Zaremba is a published visual storyteller whose work spans a myriad of mediums from print to paintings to public murals. Fashion brand 2006 Bodega has been curating the finest selection of footwear, apparel, and accessories for men and women from over 100 brands. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: The counterculture to internet access Grounding yourself by going analog Fostering creativity in your kids Tapping into the creative realm of kids Matthew’s definition of emotional optimism Episode Highlights: The Counterculture to Internet Access While the internet is a bridge for communicating with other people, sometimes, you can also get lost in it. Therefore, it’s important to ground yourself by going analog. It's part of dealing with the human experience – emotions, feelings, and reactions to the world. For example, if your art is known through the lens of a digital presentation, people are absorbing it with their eyes through a screen. But at the same time, the substance of it is so far from that. Although there are pieces that are reactionary to that, a lot of it actually is social commentary. Using a typewriter or recording on a tape or a reel where you're connected to a physical conduit makes everything more intentional because you can't just delete it off your feed. There’s a ground effect that allows you to be present. Tapping into the Creative Realm of Children As adult artists, they try to find that unbiased, unjaded realm of creativity that only kids can do. For instance, abstract artists get back to the naive state of not being influenced by the outside world. In other words, it’s untethered. It exists. It just is. On Emotional Optimism Matthew relates emotional optimism to survival. As bad as it gets, it's most likely going to be a temporary thing. No matter what this is right now, it's got to get better than this. People are getting anxious and it is a huge inconvenience. It is very taxing on all of us for a myriad of reasons, but it has to get better. If you're breathing, things are still moving. Resources Mentioned: www.bdgastore.com www.matthewzaremba.threadless.com

One of the things I love so much about life is you can learn anything from anyone at any time. Today, I’m sharing with you this 15-minute conversation I had with a media resident out of our West Coast office. He specifically asked me about this quote that you’re a product of the five people you surround yourself with. As humans and social beings, we want to feel we belong, not just comfortable. We want to feel safe enough to become learners, students, and teachers, and feel safe even when we get things wrong. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Creating a safe place for people to learn and grow The 5 people that you surround yourself with Episode Highlights: The 5 People You Surround Yourself With Heard of the quote that you become one of the five people you surround yourself with? Now, even if we surround ourselves with those people, we do some ebb and flow and morph into one another because of our energies. And for some reason, we're attracted to those people and vice versa. Whether that’s five people in our squads, or six people or 10 people, or even just two people in our squads, our squads are everything to us because they make our tribe, our people.

Chris Ferreiras, also known as @ItChris on Instagram, is an author and poet, who calls himself observant, but really, he's a sage. Chris is also a teacher, which for him was an inherent calling. Not only a student of the game but a student of life and his craft, Chris constantly finds a way to do that, mostly through writing and just letting the words come to him – and the way he does it is just amazing and soulful. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Who is Chris Ferreiras? How he developed his gift of words The power of writing The role of a Chief Heart Officer Listening to the heart and letting it lead your way What brings you validation Episode Highlights: The Power of Writing Writing is a useful tool for self-expression that allows you to let go out of urges or whatever is within you. Whether writing words in your journal or sketching, such expression allows for more creativity in your life. Following Your Heart As a Chief Heart Officer, you have to speak to your heart, which has a gravity of its own. If you don't listen to your heart, it makes things weird for you –  for your body and your interactions. Therefore, seek to do everything in service to your heart. Now, this can be challenging, especially since we are living in a material world, but this only makes the dance of life all the more exciting. Letting Your Heart Lead the Way Your heart can lead you to where you need to be. However, this is the type of awareness that’s missing in the dynamics of many people. We do strive for answers because the unknown can be scary, and whatever we have at hand is just a byproduct of discovery. Hence, even when you don't really have the answers, just give yourself the space to be with the “non-answers.” In Search of True Validation The number of followers you have on Instagram doesn’t mean enlightenment. What validates you as a human being is that you got up today and you're breathing oxygen. It’s that feeling a sense of sheer gratitude, meditating, and finding joy in everything you do each day. Resources Mentioned: IG: @ItChris

Martin Atkins is an English drummer and session musician, best known for his work in post-punk and industrial bands including Public Image Ltd, Killing Joke, and Pigface, which has been around since 1990. Martin is an entrepreneur, educator, and musician who has been in the music business for 40 years now. In this episode, Martin shares his crazy experiences being in a band, joining an initiative that impacts the community, and writing a book, Band:Smart, which probably holds the World Guinness Record for the number of f#%* in a book. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Martin’s band journey Finding empathy inside music despite all the chaos The transfer of energy from music to coffee Why Martin thinks optimism is “naive stupidity” Episode Highlights: Finding Protection From Charisma In a music world where spit and piss were commonplace back in the 70s, Martin believes there’s this swirling dark side of charisma, which is a powerful magnetic force. He recalls seeing their vocalist, Johnny Rotten, magnetize 10,000 people who protected them at a time when no physical security guards or barriers could protect them. The Tiny Things Many people want to be a worldwide superstar, a global person, or number one in whatever field or industry they’re in, and so, the tiny things can seem useless and not worthwhile. But this pandemic has definitely shown us how it’s those little things you do to help other people who are struggling that actually make a huge impact. Martin’s Thoughts on Optimism Martin thinks optimism is “naive stupidity” because what really matters at the end of the day is how you’re able to express little acts of kindness to the people around you. Resources Mentioned: Band:Smart

In this episode, international keynote speaker John Ruhlin talks about the power of gifting not only as part of your business’ powerful marketing system but also in building lasting relationships. John grew up on a farm milking goats in Ohio with a lack of abundance. Thanks to the generosity of his girlfriend’s dad whom he also looked up to as his mentor, he landed the largest deal in the history of selling Cutco knives. John realized it wasn’t just about gifting knives. It wasn't about the gift. It was about how you show up for people in uncommon ways – that’s the generosity factor. In the last 21 years, John has been trying to model and perfect this model of generosity. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Generosity is love Some examples of acts of kindness and generosity The importance of having boundaries Gifting a tangible artifact vs. consumables How your generosity could impact your employees, their families, and everyone around you The return on relationship Promotional items are not gifts, they’re a form of manipulation You don’t wait for 10 years before you say thank you Episode Highlights: Generosity is Love Most people equate generosity with money but generosity is just love. When you're generous with somebody, you're loving them. And that could be with your time, a physical gift, an encouragement, , or just any of the five love languages. If you take care of the family and business and are generous to the whole family, everything else takes care of itself. The spirit of generosity unlocks a hormone called oxytocin in our brain which is the hugging drug or the bonding drug that makes us feel good, calm, confident, and safe. Different Acts of Kindness and Generosity Size doesn't matter when kindness is in play. Kindness is holding the door open, it's a thank you, it's dropping the note. Kindness is surprising someone. Kindness is forgiveness. Kindness and generosity are not about giving a person a car. It's as simple as treating the janitor and the receptionist that same level of respect as you would a CEO. It's about respecting and seeing somebody as a human being. Make somebody feel something they haven't felt for a long time. Having Boundaries Around Your Generosity Be strategic with your generosity and be intentional with it. You can't expect something back otherwise that's manipulation. Moreover, promotional items where you have the logo on the item you’re giving them are not gifts, but also, manipulation. Generosity is simply the state of your heart. It's just where your heart is. There shouldn’t be any expectations – but almost always, the return on relationship is 100%. Resources Mentioned: www.johnruhlin.com

Here’s a confession: I don’t journal. In fact, I've been afraid to journal and write things down. I know I am an emotionally brave person - I talk through my processes, share with friends, have deep thoughts.....that’s why I’m not quite sure where such resistance comes from. One thing that actually prevents me from journaling is my handwriting.  Another reason is that I've been afraid to ask myself certain questions because probably I’m not ready to see what might come out on the page. During my conversation with Marc Champagne back in Episode 54, he left me with three prompts to start this process. Marc recently wrote a book called Personal Socrates where he talked about the power of journaling – and it's really about asking yourself questions. And so today, I want to hold myself accountable to, at least, try to journal this week. I'm going to give this a shot and I'm going to write it down in a notebook. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: My resistance to journaling and 3 prompts to help you get started with journaling During my conversation with Marc back in Episode 54, he left me with three prompts to start this process. Marc Champagne recently wrote a book called Personal Socrates where he talked about the power of journaling – and it's really about asking yourself questions. And so today, I want to hold myself accountable to, at least, try to journal this week. I'm going to give this a shot and I'm going to write it down in a notebook. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: My resistance to journaling 3 prompts to help you get started with journaling Episode Highlights: 3 Prompts to Help You Get Started with Journaling What did I learn this week? What would I have changed this week? What can I celebrate this week? Don't spend more than 15 minutes. Do it like on a Thursday or Friday morning so you can go into the weekend feeling lighter and freer, and not carrying any baggage around. What about you? If you’re struggling with journaling, what do you think has kept you from doing it? Or have you been journaling for a while now? I’d be more than happy if you could share some useful strategies! Resources Mentioned: Personal Socrates by Marc Champagne Episode 54: Mental Fitness with Your Own Personal Socrates

Kindness should never ever be mistaken for weakness. Whether we experience kindness, we deliver acts of kindness, or we witness other people being kind – we all get the same emotional payout. It's called feeling good. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: The science behind kindness Why kindness shouldn’t be mistaken for weakness Kindness is the glue. Episode Highlights: The Science Behind Kindness Known as the hugging drug or the love drug, oxytocin is a type of hormone that gives us a sense of calm, confidence, and a sense of love. It creates safety and removes fear. This happens either when we are giving kindness, watching someone else be kind, or someone is kind to us. Kindness is Not a Weakness. Kindness should never ever, ever be mistaken for weakness. Nor should kindness just appear as a strategy that encompasses your well-being, nor a strategy at work or a sign you often see on the wall. It should be seen through your actions. Kindness and empathy guide us through failures and springboard us into innovation because they create a sense of true psychological safety. It gives you a sense of belonging and that someone has got your back. Kindness is the Glue! Every single organization benefits from fostering kindness actively and proactively. There's a domino effect that happens which is exponential. Whenever a person receives an act of kindness, they are more likely to pay back an act of kindness. And they pay it forward, whether with a stranger and whether it’s as simple as holding the door for someone else. It leads to an expanded heart which leads to a feeling of generosity as well as a culture of generosity in the workplace. Kindness is the glue, hence, it should never be mistaken for weakness because, in truth, kindness is strength.

Today, Sope Agbelusi gets as real as real gets, helping clients shift their mindsets and become comfortable with risk and uncertainty. Born in Nigeria, Sope moved to the UK when he was a teenager and later realized that he was living a life to please other people and behaving in ways that were not aligned to his true inner self and his true inner character. From then on, he made a decision to not live for others, but to live for himself. As an executive coach, Sope helps leaders in organizations and startups grow to develop, as well as lead themselves and their organizations really well. He helps clients understand the value of inclusion, equity, and belonging to help create a culture that embodies these values in a practical way. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: People over profit Sope’s struggles as an immigrant in the UK Asking people how you can help them grow The idea of belongingness as you work from home Disruption from the lens of authentic leadership Episode Highlights: The Value of People Over Profit In business, our people are your greatest asset. But a lot of times, people haven't been focused on. You see resignation and people just leave their spaces that they are no longer willing to tolerate being treated a particular way. Because now they have more options and opportunities to go to other places and because they've been treated as commodities, rather than being valued. Organizations need to focus more on their people and look after their mental health. They have to create spaces where people can grow, evolve, and develop so you're going to be the best that profit just naturally follows. Building a Culture of Trust When you ask people how you can help them grow, a lot of times, they're taken aback by it. They think you're trying to trap them because they’re not used to it. But when they start to get to know you and you start to share a bit about yourself, they will realize that you're genuinely interested in them as people. The more you get to know them, the better you'll understand what motivates them, not just inside of work, but also outside of work. Then the more opportunities you're able to create for them. When you approach people that way, the way they're also going to say thank you is to work hard. If you look after your people, you get the profit back. The Idea of Belongingness When You’re Working From Home The reason why people are crying out for change is that sometimes they feel unheard and they feel powerless to do anything about it. It's so easy to slip into a space and you start to deceive yourself into thinking you belong. When you're at home, you can be yourself. You can wear what you want to wear and eat whatever you want to eat. But when you're at work, you're spending so much of your mental energy to fit into the crowd and to get involved with conversations, or to present yourself in a very particular way. All of that drains who you are from a mental aspect, and then it flows into your physical psyche. Disruption from the Lens of Authentic Leadership Disruption isn't necessarily a bad thing. First, it creates some fear and some anxiety. That's why you get peer pressure or conformity. But in authentic leadership, you don't get that fear because you're leaning into curiosity. Balancing yourself and balancing others are centered around self-awareness.

Marc Champagne is a mental fitness strategist and host of Behind The Human Podcast. Marc previously worked in medical sales. He loves to connect with another person, especially in sales when it doesn't feel like sales. It's just two people having a conversation and there's no hidden agenda. With all the rejection and the struggle that come with sales, that’s when the idea of mental fitness came up for him. From medical sales, Marc leaped into the mental wellness space, creating an app, which is a combination of daily reflections and a gratitude journal. Out of that experience came his book, Personal Socrates: Questions That Will Upgrade Your Life from Legends & World-Class Performers – the vehicle has changed but the path and the work remain the same. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: When his mental fitness journey started The power of journaling The pivotal moment for Marc entering the mental wellness space Staying out of your autopilot Connecting the unknown to the opportunity The experience of deleting his app business and writing his book Episode Highlights: The Road to Mental Fitness When you're able to shift your mindset into gratitude or something positive in your life, you become more aware and awake regardless of whatever situation in life you're in. Instead of complaining about your life, default your day with a morning routine such as journaling. The Pivotal Moment If you're working towards a certain goal, you need to have a solid plan and strategy. Be excited for the unknown versus fearing the unknown. Marc’s leap into the mental wellness space wasn't because he couldn't stand driving to work anymore, but more like he would regret not trying it. Connecting the Unknown to the Opportunity Do everything now as humanly possible to stay out of the autopilot. If your life has been structured and so planned out and you jump into a new world full of uncertainty, replace fear with excitement. Be excited for the unknown and connect the unknown to opportunity. The Idea Behind Personal Socrates The idea was to write a book of profiles that opens up the dialogue around mental fitness from all these different perspectives in different industries and different people. And then have the question be the lead-in to basically meet people wherever they're at in life. The first step is asking questions about getting clear. Step two includes questions to help us be more intentional with our activities, and habits, thoughts, or how we react. If you do the first two, the third one just happens naturally, which is the expansion of possibility. Ultimately, for you to hold space for others, you have to first hold space for yourself. Resources Mentioned: Behind The Human Podcast www.behindthehuman.com https://www.baronfig.com/personal-socrates

It's important that we're changing the paradigm of what leadership looked like back in the day to where we need to go with leadership today, based on the problems we're trying to solve and the talent we're trying to attract as well as our bottom and top-line growth. Today, David Robinson shares some great insights into leadership as well as some actionable steps we can do to improve as leaders. David selected the military route as his career choice, which led him to the U.S. Naval Academy but ended up spending 25 years as a fighter pilot in the U.S. Marines. For him, it was the best thing that ever happened because it helped shape and develop him as a leader, something he's really passionate about. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Why David chose the military route and the life lessons he got 3 common denominator traits in leaders today The marathon mentality vs. the sprint mentality Responding in adversity 3 questions when debriefing with your team Retention strategies and ideas The 3 P’s of developing a high-performing mission The power of emotional connection to influence others Episode Highlights: Things David Learned in the Military Self-leadership comes first. You have to be able to discipline and lead yourself before you can effectively lead others. With that comes emotional awareness, pressure, and how you respond emotionally to that pressure. 3 Common Denominator Traits in Leaders Today 1. Persistence The burden of leadership is real. Perseverance and persistence are important components of being able to lead an organization because things don't always go well every day. There are fires to put out and challenges to overcome. People can be complicated at times, and getting people to work together toward a common goal is quite a challenge. And that takes a level of marathon mentality. Many leaders take a sprint mentality, which can be harmful not only to themselves but also to the people that report to them. 2. Commitment to Self-Improvement Exceptional leaders have an element of humility where they are committed to self-improvement. They know they have blind spots, and they are looking for other people to help them fill in those blind spots. Acknowledge that we all have growth areas. And the first step is to get into a mentality that there is room for growth. Ask feedback from others and 3. Ability to listen As a leader, you have to listen first and then speak last. Say, "What do you think we should do?" as opposed to saying, "This is what I want you to do." Because when you listen to your people, they have great ideas most of the time, much better than your ideas. And if you stifle that conversation, expressing your opinion early on can inhibit innovation and finding the best solutions. Allow your team or two or three sub-teams to go come back to you with some answers on how they would go about accomplishing the task. This opens the aperture and allows them to think innovatively and creatively. It allows them to bring their own experience and expertise as well as ownership to their solutions. 3 questions when debriefing with your team What happened relative to our goals? Why did we either achieve or not achieve our goals? What can we do as a team to improve so the next time we do this right? Resources Mentioned: The Substance of Leadership: A Practical Framework for Effectively Leading a High-Performing Team

Hannah Brencher joins us today to share inspiration through the power of words. An author, blogger, and a TED Speaker, Hannah initially moved to New York City for what she thought was a dream job yet she found herself struggling with depression. As a way to cope, she started to write love letters and leave them around New York City for others to find and draw inspiration from. Today, she runs a global organization called More Love Letters, which marks its 10 years now, inspired by those first letters to strangers in the lonely city. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: The power of words to either cut people down or build them up What productivity means and ways to be inspired What it means to be with it all How to show up for other people The story behind More Love Letters Episode Highlights: Utilizing the Power of Words – for the Good It’s wonderful to make others feel that there are other people in the world that’s cheering for the, and that they can show up and do something for somebody who needs it at that very moment. And with how people use words nowadays to cut others down mercilessly, why not do the opposite of it since words hold power. And we need to use words that build people up. What Productivity Means and Ways to Get Inspired Productivity doesn't necessarily refer to what you produce, but how you show up to this moment. Inspiration comes through reading great books and reading great words, as well as through prayer and meditation. But first, you need to figure out how to be present. And sometimes, it takes shutting off your phone to be in the present moment and feel everything around you. It's all about giving yourself the gift of being present. What It Means to Be With It All It's about knowing how you're in this dark day but also realizing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. And you will get there not not in a toxic way. Not everything is great and it’s hard and it hurts. You’re going to stub your toe a million times because it’s dark. But having that support from people around you, and being able to support one another, you will get out of that darkness. It’s a matter of being a beacon of light for the person next to you. Showing up for other people comes in a lot of forms. You could just sit down with a friend and hold them in your arms. Or bring someone a meal or give them something to do. More importantly, you also need to figure out ways for you to pour into yourself so that you can show up and pour into the people you need to pour into. Self-care is key because you cannot pour from an empty cup. Resources Mentioned: www.hannahbrenchercreative.com www.moreloveletters.com

In this day and age, so many people are still afraid to seek treatment with regard to their mental health issues. Hence, specialists like our guest today, Dr. Jen Wolkin, work hard in destigmatizing what it means to be abnormal and what mental health versus illness is. In today's episode, learn more about the segmentation of mental health and mental illness, and what we all can do about it to bring more belonging, mattering, and acceptance into the world. Dr. Wolkin is dedicated to advocating for people with mental health challenges as well as for the accessibility of treatment. Unfortunately, we're in a society that still stigmatizes and likes to label and put down people. And that's not okay because we're doing a great disservice to not only ourselves but those who are really struggling. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: What got her interested in Psychology Changing the language around mental health Why she named her class from Abnormal Psych to (Ab)Normal Psych The life-changing exercise Dr. Wolkin did to her class Using the DSM book just as a guide, not a gospel Seeking therapy as an act of bravery The power of rewriting your story Episode Highlights: Changing the Language Around Mental Health Dr. Wolkin changed her class at NYU from Abnormal Psych to (Ab)Normal Psych. She wanted to use it as an opportunity to educate people that the mere use of the label "abnormal" is detrimental. She used it to have a dialogue about what normal versus abnormal really means. Normal is just a percentage under a bell curve and what's abnormal is anything outside a certain percentage, both on the lower end and the upper end. And so, in theory, when people talk about brilliance or Mensa, that's abnormal. Hence, these metrics and the way we use these words like "disorder" or “abnormal” can hurt people. Using slurs like – idiot, retarded, or schizophrenic –are hurtful and we don't really feel its magnitude until we put ourselves in such a position. It's then important to just conceptualize "abnormal" as something that deviates from what wellness is, impairs your overall functioning, decreases your quality of life, and creates suffering for you. We don’t want to minimize what they’re going through because it’s real and painful. But we can talk about it in such a way that will ultimately take the stigma away. Seeking Therapy as An Act of Bravery Recognizing there's something going on, and you may not have the tools for, or you don't know how to decipher is an enormous act of bravery. Unfortunately, a lot of people are still afraid of seeking treatment. The Power of Rewriting Your Story We try to tell stories to make sense of ourselves in our worlds. And oftentimes, we tell a story that maybe once helped us survive. But that no longer serves us and just holds us back. And so, try to figure out what story are you telling and how is that holding you back? How is that not serving you? How is that even contributing to anxiety and mood struggles? Then you have to rewrite your story. This doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes we have to delve deep into why that other story was told and written. At the end of the day, the story we tell ourselves should shapeshift as we evolve and grow.

Today, let's talk about voice. Voice is an expression. It's a form of communication. It's a seed for creation. It's a manifestation of confidence. Voice can also be power – because each one of us has a voice that can change the world. All of us have unique and very important stories to share. And sharing our stories allows us to connect with others so we can experience joy and free ourselves from any pain or shame we're carrying by keeping our secrets to ourselves. Now is the time to let our voices be heard and use your voice to create the change you want to create in this world. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: How voices come in different sizes, shapes, and forms It takes practice to use your voice and train those muscles. Encouraging other people to voice out their messages Episode Highlights: How Our Voices Come in Different Forms Our voices don't all sound alike. All of our differences can create a stronger quilt when we can encourage others to step up, put their courage capes on, and express themselves in any way they wish to. It's not only through speaking that we can voice out our message. It may be through a cello or through a paintbrush, or a guitar. It Takes Practice But staying quiet does nothing to build up our confidence, nor does letting others speak for us. It doesn't help us train those muscles. And in order to do that, you need to practice. Sometimes, you may not even know what your voice sounds like or what your voice could possibly do for others. Pass It Forward Now, if you have already found your voice, it's just as important to be able to give encouragement to others so they, too, can find their voices and share their message. Reach out to someone who needs the courage to use their voice today. Whether that’s a quick text message, a short email, a tweet, or a DM, you’ll never know how much the phrase “I got you” could mean to them. Let's spread kindness Let's spread love. And let's spread the word!

It is time to move into the full expression and the best possible version of you. But you have to be able to find that person and become that person as those shoes are just waiting for you to step in. However, when your head is in a lot of negative self-talk, it doesn't matter if anyone and everyone tells you how amazing you are – unless you consciously change that self-talk and make it a habit. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: What is an imposter syndrome How to overcome imposter syndrome Making it a habit to find evidence Changing your self-talk Episode Highlights: What Is The Imposter Syndrome The imposter syndrome is telling us we're not worthy. We're not good enough. We're a fraud and we're going to get found out. It's super fictitious, but it seems incredibly real in the moment. Now, it's time to outsmart this negative self-talk. Finding Proof and Evidence Here's your challenge: Look around and see where there's proof, or evidence that we actually do know what we're doing. Find the proof and evidence that you are good at this or that, and here's the reality of it. People may come to you time and time and time again because they may want to be mentored by you. Or maybe someone just sent you an email telling you how great of a mentor you are. Make it a habit to find that evidence. And make sure to catch yourself in that negative web. No one else can do it for us – that negative story that goes on and on. You have to change the story legitimately. Changing Your Self-Talk No matter how many Instagram posts you're seeing about how you are so worthy and how you're deserving of so much, and that you are enough. But it all starts within us. So it is time to internalize your successes. It is time to change the story you are telling yourselves. You need to change your self-talk and what your subconscious is picking up on. No one else can do it for you, but only you.

"You’re not a good fit." – what does that even mean? Saying such a phrase is impersonal and it has no humanity in it. In fact, it can be dangerous in the workplace because it’s devoid of emotions. And oftentimes, people are not conscious of it. When I took the role of CFO, I changed the way we hired from culture fit to skillset fit and culture addition. Culture addition because we want people that come in and add to the wonderful quilt that we've created and bring curiosity and different ways of thinking and different languages. While skill set fit allows us to line people up in the right roles and play to their strengths based on core competencies and what they're great at. Today, find out why even our language should be aligned with your intentions, actions, visions, passions, and purpose – to make sure you’re able to create a space where people go to feel ignited and where people come to feel loved. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: How “fit” is devoid of emotion Following it up with a why How you can change the language Episode Highlights: Why “Fit” is Devoid of Emotions The only time you really want to use the word "fit" is when "your shirt fits perfectly" or "These socks fit me perfectly." It's devoid of emotion. And so when you use that word, it creates this real "us versus them." People who say that don't mean they're being rude or disingenuous or they don't want to build inclusivity. But many of us are just unconscious whenever we use that word. Putting Intention Behind Creating a Culture When we're creating cultures of bravery and belonging, we are following up and acting on that. We're putting intention behind that. People already feel "other" and are dealing with not fitting in – whether racial issues, religious issues, sexuality issues, seen and unseen disability issues, whatever it is – they are already feeling that they don't fit in. So let's not add to that and find another way to say “this role doesn't align with your skill sets or with your strengths.” Instead, say something like: "We want to put you in another role because we want to set you up for success."

Dr. Jeremy Goldberg is a writer, a speaker, coach, podcast host, and spoken word poet. His mission is to make kindness cool, empathy popular, and compassion commonplace. He believes that kindness and empathy are a life hack that allows people to navigate their lives with the least amount of strife, struggle, pain, and then the most amount of acceptance, love, and belonging. In this episode, Jeremy talks about how to cultivate emotional bravery and how to create an authentic space for people to come to. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Becoming a man at six years old How to create a space for people to come to His thoughts on emotional bravery The three-step framework to cultivate emotional bravery Discovering and exploring what you truly want Episode Highlights: Becoming a Man at Six When Jeremy was six, his parents got divorced. One day, his dad got down on a knee and told him that he was going to be going away for a while and so he needed Jeremy to be the man of the house. And he asked Jeremy to look after his mom and his sister. And so, at age six, Jeremy became a man. He was partly angry about that because he felt his childhood was stolen from him in a sense. But he took on the responsibility nonetheless. How to Create an Authentic Space for People to Come To It's hard to make big ideas small, and small ideas felt because life is complex and there are so many intricacies to address. And so, it's hard to communicate easily and to convey your message in a way that's short, snappy, memorable, and fits into the Instagram character count limit, but also tackles important issues fundamental to the architecture of life. Thoughts on Emotional Bravery The most vulnerable courageous person is the one that takes their guard down first, or puts their sword down first, and drops the bravado and allows themselves to be seen, felt, and heard. And so, Jeremy thinks of emotional bravery as authenticity or sovereignty. It's about being okay with whatever it is you're feeling. And being brave enough to share that with the world, or with someone, or even with yourself. The Three-Step Framework to Cultivate Emotional Bravery The A-team of emotional bravery is awareness, acceptance, and action. Develop an awareness of what you're feeling. Accept that without trying to judge, shame, change, or negate it. And then take action from that place that is most aligned with your integrity, courageousness, and the most loving, generous, best version of yourself. How much do you love yourself? How much do you like yourself? How much do you accept yourself? These questions are very important to ask yourself. Then know what you want because a lot of people don’t really know what they want. So you have to start from there. Resources Mentioned: www..longdistancelovebombs.com Follow Dr. Jeremy Goldberg on Instagram @longdistancelovebombs

Claude had an incredible jam session with our VaynerMedia Media Residents and she’s going to answer some questions around positivity, empathy, and tapping into your natural superpower. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: How to start off your day Showing your natural superpower Finding your best learning style How to deal with confrontation The journey of knowing yourself Experiences that helped raise Claude's self-awareness

Mental health used to be non-existent some 25 years ago. Now, there's this huge awareness when it comes to taking care of your brain and mental health. Mark Metry is a coach, author, and speaker. Today, he talks about dealing with social anxiety as well as some tools you can use daily to improve your mental health. His book, Screw Being Shy: Learn How to Manage Social Anxiety and Be Yourself in Front of Anyone. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Dealing with social anxiety Being an introvert vs. social anxiety How mental health is the same as your physical health Social anxiety in the guise of shyness Everyday tools you can carry in your pocket The benefits of meditation Episode Highlights: Being an Introvert vs. Social Anxiety Social anxiety is a result of placing different limitations on your life and then seeing years go by, you realize you were never really able to be yourself. And that inner judgment that is just built-in for a lot of people. An introvert's brain is just the way it's made. It has an inclination to think more internally. You're more introspective. And then in turn, the way you perceive the world, and how you act in the world is a little different. An average person may experience moments of being socially anxious. Oftentimes, it starts when you're around 9 to 11 years old and a lot of people are not conscious of this. And it's a moment where your brain basically breaks. Maybe it's because of an experience that triggers them and traumatizes them to a point where the hardware in their brain is just damaged. Ultimately, when you're an introvert, your brain is operating more inwardly whereas social anxiety has the potential to really mess up with your brain. The Parallels Between Physical Health and Mental Health For instance, if you break your leg, you're going to feel a lot of pain and so you go to the doctor. They're going to give you crutches, and then you come back in a month for a different cast. Then after three months, you're out. A lot of times, this is the same with mental health. There's a part of your brain that is seriously suffering as a wider result of different issues. And so, you have to do the same thing – put yourself in a crutch and a cast.  And imagine that happening to a 9, 10, or 11-year-old. Social anxiety leads to a host of other issues such as weight gain, social isolation, and depression – and for some, it could even be suicidal. Tools for Better Mental Health Meditation has been done for thousands of years and it has been backed by science. It shows you first-hand that you've got voices in your head. Your brain is feeding you information. And when the brain does that, you never question what you think because you think that's you. But when you start meditating, you then begin to differentiate yourself from that thought. Meditation builds that muscle that helps you slow downtime and is able to make a decision. On top of that, make sure your brain is healthy. Another thing you could do is to talk about your experience. Understand neuroscience and how your brain operates. And when you understand that there's this biological experience occurring because of social anxiety, it could completely change your perspective on life.   Resources Mentioned: Screw Being Shy: Learn How to Manage Social Anxiety and Be Yourself in Front of Anyone

Bart Scholtissen, Lars Schmidt, and Dalia Feldheim share their thoughts on emotional optimism. Bart Scholtissen Based in the Netherlands, Bart is the Founder of Back To Your Nature Coaching and is a Wim Hof Method Academy instructor. With a background in neuroscience, he earned his PhD degree in Neuropsychology. Feeling burned out in the field of science, he felt he needed to reinvent himself and get back to his core. But it was also through science that he got into the Wim Hof method. Through his coaching strategy, he helps people who don’t know how to deal with the changes in their lives to reconnect to their own nature. *** Lars Schmidt is the Founder of Amplify, an HR executive search and consulting firm that helps companies build progressive people teams and capabilities. He's spent over 20 years in the industry working in and alongside a range of leading global companies. In 2015, Lars co-founded a not-for-profit aimed at democratizing access to modern HR practices - HR Open Source, a free global community of practitioners who collaborate and share learnings to prepare themselves, and their organizations, for the future of work. Part of his foundation is being centered on the employee experience and the impact to employees. This is the lens through which he sees decision-making in HR is done. *** Dalia Feldheim is an ex-CMO (Chief Marketing Officer) in the corporate world who now calls herself Chief Magnificent Officer. She's an organizational psychologist and an adjunct professor. Upon completing her army service as a platoon commander (a crash course in leadership in and of itself), Dalia studied Psychology and Business and landed her first job at P&G, the world’s largest consumer goods company, and thrived there for 17 years. Dalia’s passion for teaching and coaching has led her to find her purpose deeply rooted in women empowerment leading some of the world’s most iconic advertising campaigns such as the award-winning Always #LikeAGirl and Whisper’s "Touch The Pickle”. Episode Highlights: Join Claude Silver as she and her guests shared their thoughts on emotional optimism. Listen to the full episode Here: E40 : Getting Out of Our Boxes and Getting Into Nature with Bart Scholtissen https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e40-getting-out-our-boxes-getting-into-nature-bart/id1441782924?i=1000521299541 E44: Skateboarding is to Open Source as Redefining HR is to People with Lars Schmidt https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e44-skateboarding-is-to-open-source-as-redefining-hr/id1441782924?i=1000525785066 E43: Dare To Lead Like A Girl with Dalia Feldheim https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e43-dare-to-lead-like-a-girl-with-dalia-feldheim/id1441782924?i=1000523981494

Blankets of Hope Founders Mike and Nick Fio deliver blankets to homeless people during the winter and so much more! Inspired by their mission is to bring kindness to the entire world by 2025, what started out as a simple project has now become much bigger than themselves as they’re now teaching the future generation to think with a mindset of kindness and compassion, and giving back to their community through experiential learning. Fast forward to today, five years later, Blankets of Hope partner with schools in over 40 states across the U.S. and have delivered over 40,000 blankets of hope. Episode Highlights: Join Claude Silver as she and the Founders of Blankets of Hope, Mike & Nick shared their thoughts on emotional optimism, on a deeper level. Resources Mentioned: Listen to the full episode Here: https://anchor.fm/eoandthesilverlining/episodes/E41-Bringing-Kindness-to-the-World-One-Blanket-at-a-Time-with-Blankets-of-Hope-Founders-Mike-and-Nick-Fio-e11230f

Mike McHargue is a Purveyor of empathic skepticism and a science expert. He has a podcast called The Cozy Robot Show. He has worked with companies like Marvel, Apple, and the New York Times. Today, we cover all kinds of territory from the science of empathy to the psychobiology of mythology and emotional optimism. Episode Highlights: Join Claude Silver as she and Mike have a deep connection around his thoughts on emotional optimism. Resources Mentioned: Listen to the full episode here: https://anchor.fm/eoandthesilverlining/episodes/E39-Psychobiology-of-Mythology--the-Deep-Brain--and-What-is-Empathy-A-Conversation-with-Mike-McHargue-e106477 The Cozy Robot Show

Lars Schmidt is the Founder of Amplify, an HR executive search and consulting firm that helps companies build progressive people teams and capabilities. He's spent over 20 years in the industry working in and alongside a range of leading global companies. In 2015, Lars co-founded a not-for-profit aimed at democratizing access to modern HR practices - HR Open Source, a free global community of practitioners who collaborate and share learnings to prepare themselves, and their organizations, for the future of work. Part of his foundation is being centered on the employee experience and the impact on employees. This is the lens through which he sees decision-making in HR is done. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Lars’ career background in recruiting How his mentor has paved his way to success What planted the seeds towards his embrace of open source Dealing with imposter syndrome Understanding the culture of skateboarding Skateboarding is an individualistic sport within a collaborative community The biggest challenges in HR today His thoughts on emotional optimism Episode Highlights: Dealing with Imposter Syndrome People look at imposter syndrome as being lacking confidence. But you can be supremely confident in your ability, and still feel imposter syndrome at the same time. You just have to believe in yourself even though you're questioning your competence. And the lack of fear of failure is the antidote to imposter syndrome. You're going to take some risks, and you know you're going to do some things that are not going to work out. But you also know you will learn from that. And you're not going to beat yourself up by that. Just chalk it up as a lesson and incorporate your learnings the next time you try something similar. You're going to fail a lot before you get it right. The Culture of Skateboarding Analogy In the culture of skateboarding, unless you're in an actual contest, but for the most part, you're competing with yourself. It's more of individual individualistic support, but everybody is supportive of everybody else. Everybody rallies around everybody else. Nobody wants to be proprietary about their tricks and approaches. They want to help each other up because you elevate everybody together. Translating this into the field of HR is why Lars got so passionate about open source projects. The Biggest Challenges in HR Today Most HR leaders are burned out at this moment in time but they're massively in demand because companies are realizing the value of HR now. As an HR leader, you have to understand the financials of the business and understand the market positioning strategic roadmap. You have to design a custom people strategy that moves all of those things forward. You're overseeing and supporting the most volatile asset that the business has, which is their people. And people have been through a lot in the past year. And so, this puts HR leaders in an incredibly difficult position. On Emotional Optimism Optimism is a choice although, for some people, it comes very naturally. And for other people, they have to work to be a bit more of an optimist. In emotional optimism, your default is assuming good intent. It's a belief in the good in people. It's a belief in humanity and human nature. And you trust that positivity is going to be more of a default for people than mistrust or that they're here to do harm to you.

Dalia Feldheim is an ex-CMO (Chief Marketing Officer) in the corporate world who now calls herself Chief Magnificent Officer. She's an organizational psychologist and an adjunct professor. Upon completing her army service as a platoon commander (a crash course in leadership in and of itself), Dalia studied Psychology and Business and landed her first job at P&G, the world’s largest consumer goods company, and thrived there for 17 years. Dalia’s passion for teaching and coaching has led her to find her purpose deeply rooted in women empowerment leading some of the world’s most iconic advertising campaigns such as the award-winning Always #LikeAGirl and Whisper’s "Touch The Pickle”. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Her career background and her passion for coaching Seeing the value of women empowerment Focus on purpose and the golden link Purpose-led brand-building How the famous campaigns came to be and the inspiration behind them The value of empathy in business ad the workplace When zero-tolerance works How Dalia defines emotional optimism Episode Highlights: Purpose-led Brand-building It's not a choice between purpose and profit. Companies that invest on purpose outperform the market 12 times. Find your own purpose, what really lights you up, and find a way. Link your personal purpose to the company purpose and make sure you bring it to life every day. And when you’re able to connect your own purpose with the brand’s purpose, you have one plus one equals three. The Value of Empathy In Business and The Workplace Empathy is about making your employees feel good and all these soft factors. Take care of your people and the business takes care of itself. Empathy is immensely important for employee engagement and passion. People perform at their peak when they are nourished and when they are cared for. Empathy is a muscle you can train even if you don't have it. Empathy is critical for innovation as well because how can you innovate if you don't understand and if you don't listen between the lines to the unmet needs of your consumers? Therefore, it’s important to hear from consumers and how you can make their lives better. And being able to leave your thumbprint or heart-print on another person is an incredible gift you have every day. When Zero Tolerance Works You can't change someone that doesn't want to change and there are cases where empathy is not the right strategy. One in two employees experienced some element of abuse of the workplace, either directly or even seeing it impacts them. When you find yourself in an environment that’s really toxic, the only strategy that works is zero tolerance. On Emotional Optimism Emotional optimism is about emotional bravery, which is about accepting all emotions even those that are negative. And it's when you reject them that you become sick. Emotional optimism is even when you're sad. So stay with it and let it flow through you so that you can ultimately make room for the positive emotions. We are in the midst of a major mental health crisis and it doesn't have to be that way.

Robert Barber is the author of CEO for Life: Gain Full Control of Your Life and Your Business Forever. He realized he had to walk the walk of the CEO in his everyday life and take responsibility for everything. He had to become the CEO of his life, for life. And today, he shares his journey. He talks about where he gets his optimism from and his fuel. Robert is the founder and lead coach of Return On You Investment Academy, a learning academy around the concept of investing in yourself, creating a culture, and having a company around that culture. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: What is the CEO for life? Your job description as a CEO His mom as the most powerful influence in his entire life The best relationship you can have How to create a culture of trust in a remote environment Leading with your heart Robert’s thoughts on emotional optimism Episode Highlights: Becoming a CEO for Life Start seeing yourself as a CEO of your life. You may not have a huge company with thousands of people working for you. But you do have an impact on people. You impact your family, your colleagues, your clients, etc. So start acting like a CEO, and a CEO for life! We've all been forced into a situation that we didn't plan for, but we still can be the CEO for our life. We still can be accountable, make the decisions we need, and take care of the people around us. The Best Relationship You Can Have The best relationship you can have is somebody who doesn't need you but needs you. Your partner doesn't need you but they need you to be their partner because you both have equal footing. Translating this into the workplace setting, treating each other as equal creates so much more empathy within the workplace. How to Create a Culture of Trust in a Remote Environment You can still hold space for someone on screen and show up. You can still create safety together. That could be in the form of eye contact, validating someone, or listening. These are skills you would do whether in-person or not. But in order to reach across a screen and make people feel seen and safe, you have to show up with more emotional courage. Make sure you're using the word "trust" more. It's just another word for having your back and that you're in this together. Leading with Your Heart You can love people without having to like their behavior. This means that whatever you do, you can always come from a place of love. If you start there as a person, the rest of it is going to work itself out. If you lead with love, and you may have an adverse agreement, then love is still going to win. Even though you disagree or you may not like each other, love will always win. The individual has the ability to have an impact that will ripple forever if we just care for each other. And even if you believe in nothing, if at least you went through the intellectual process of discovery, and trying to figure out what you believe in, that's awesome. On Emotional Optimism Not much grows on the mountaintop while everything that grows is in the valley. And so, the valley is where our growth happens. Now, we are going to have valleys and mountain tops, and knowing that life is going to go through that is an optimistic way to look at life. It may suck right now but there's growth happening.

Blankets of Hope Founders Mike and Nick Fio deliver blankets to homeless people during the winter and so much more! Inspired by their mission is to bring kindness to the entire world by 2025, what started out as a simple project has now become much bigger than themselves as they’re now teaching the future generation to think with a mindset of kindness and compassion, and giving back to their community through experiential learning. Fast forward to today, five years later, Blankets of Hope partner with schools in over 40 states across the U.S. and have delivered over 40,000 blankets of hope. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: How they got into creating the Blankets of Hope Getting support from a venture capitalist Their real mission behind this simple project How you can get involved in this project The kindness workshop: How the experiential learning works Episode Highlights: The Beginnings In 2016, they both quit their jobs in the hope of getting out of the corporate hamster wheel. For the next six months, they jumped from one project to the next until they went broke. Inspired by the idea of wanting to help a homeless guy on the subway, Nick went to GoFundMe and started writing about how he wanted to raise money to give blankets to people outside the world. Soon after, they got picked by a Californian venture capitalist. Although they grew up in a household full of Italian-Americans constantly yelling, there was an undercurrent of unconditional love they've always received. And so, they've always felt this pull to share that love with others because they felt so blessed to have it. And seeing how Italians value the concept of family. For the next six months, they jumped from one project to the next until they went broke. Then they started dreaming bigger about the impact they can make with this simple project. The Mission There is a much deeper purpose than blankets being donated to people experiencing homelessness. It's to inspire a movement of kindness and how we treat each other. People living out on the streets or in shelters need human kindness more than anyone else. The real value is in going into classrooms and teaching these students how to impact someone's life in their local community. How the School Partnership Works If you are an educator or know of an educator, or even if you are a youth leader of some sort, you can go to Blankets of Hope and schedule a time to meet with Nick. And he'll walk you through three simple steps. The first step is funding for them to be able to send you blankets. You can either donate a lump sum for those blankets which will be shipped to you or launch a fundraiser to raise that money, where they'll help you set it up. The Kindness Workshop: How the Experiential Learning Works Kids go through a guided visualization of empathy exercise. Then they would write their handwritten letters of encouragement and attach them to their blankets. Next, they’re guided through a loving-kindness meditation where they send love to themselves, to the person receiving the blankets, or their classmates. This creates an energy of love in the classroom that hopefully ripples on so they would also pass this experience. And then the teacher collects them and delivers them to a local homeless shelter. The whole workshop is done virtually.

We’re living in challenging times. But we need to go through those in order to create the new world that we want to see. It's necessary for us to transform into a new level of living –and one of the ways to achieve that level of personal development is going back to your core and going back to nature. Today’s guest is Bart Scholtissen. Based in the Netherlands, Bart is the Founder of Back To Your Nature Coaching and is a Wim Hof Method Academy instructor. With a background in neuroscience, he earned his Ph.D. degree in Neuropsychology. Feeling burned out in the field of science, he felt he needed to reinvent himself and get back to his core. But it was also through science that he got into the Wim Hof Method. Through his coaching strategy, he helps people who don’t know how to deal with the changes in their lives to reconnect to their own nature. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: His journey into becoming a Wim Hof Method Academy instructor How the Wim Hof method allows you to go out of your own limiting beliefs How travel gets you out of your comfort zone Why go back to nature Recognizing the dark to experience the light Why balance isn't a flatline Episode Highlights: Going Out of Your Self-Limiting Beliefs Through the Wim Hof Method and Bart’s nature coaching, one is forced to look inwards in order for transformation to occur. Being in a survival mode in nature brings you to your stress and fight mode. And in the process, you learn to embrace it and get out of your limiting beliefs. You stop fighting – and you start living. How Travel Takes You Out of Your Comfort Zone People have created this comfort zone of what life should look like. But when you travel, you go to other places. You get to experience and embrace different cultures, as well as letting yourself be embraced by these cultures so it keeps you enlightened and connected. Why Go Back to Nature Nature is more uncut and less domesticated. We have been domesticated as a Western society that we have been spoiled. And that's not good for our system. And so, going back to nature realigns you and helps you get back in touch with your superhuman powers. On Emotional Optimism Only by knowing the dark side, can one appreciate the light. If everything would be light, it would be boring. We need to hit our head sometimes and get hurt to feel alive. We need to actively seek discomfort to become more comfortable within the uncomfortable. People are afraid of dying. And by being afraid of dying, people unconsciously decide not to live. They're only paying attention to the negative stuff that is there. But even in these challenging times that we're living in now, there is so much positivity going on. You just need to open up not your eyes, but your heart a bit more. Why Balance Isn’t a Flatline Sometimes people think that balance is a flatline. That's not life. Life is ups and downs and embracing the ups and the downs – embracing the journey. Highs only exist by the grace of the lows. If the lows aren't there, the highs aren't there. This is life. Life is cyclical. It's a phase, everything is passing and everything is renewing again. And so, we better make it an enjoyable, comfortable, crazy ride. We're not here just to be innocent bystanders, leaning backward, and letting opportunities pass. Instead, you’re here to make a lasting impression. Show your gifts and lead life in a different way. Don’t just wait for things to happen. But go for it and live it!

Mike McHargue is a science expert. He has a podcast called The Cozy Robot Show. He has worked with companies like Marvel, Apple, and the New York Times. Today, we cover all kinds of territory from the science of empathy to the psychobiology of mythology and emotional optimism. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: Understanding the psychobiology of mythology How a given spiritual belief system impacts the culture of a society Having a sense of intellectual humility What is empathy? What is empathetic skepticism? Empathy comes from the deep brain, not the right brain Mike’s thoughts on emotional optimism Episode Highlights: Understanding The Psychobiology of Mythology Psychology and biology as two interconnected things that are not divisible. In other words, you can't conceptualize the brain without the mind. The psychological groundings in human behavior don't make sense unless you look at the brain. The notion is that our thoughts and feelings come from our bodies, but our bodies also shape our thoughts and feelings – forming an interconnected system. Having a Sense of Intellectual Humility We seem to be excited to learn from each other. It is easier to see all of the worlds when we share and receive the perspectives of others as well as the tools they've used to understand reality. And when we have that kind of sense of intellectual humility, it opens up an opportunity for us to grow. What is Empathy? Empathy is the ability to be in touch and aware of our own emotions, and to be aware that other people have their own emotions as well. In some way, our feelings are shaped by our experience with another person. And we're aware that each person has their own emotional life. Unfortunately, there's a massive collapse in the awareness and practice of empathy in people's lives. Empathy alone can actually lead to some dangerous places. Because if our empathy would cause us to dismiss or ignore the harm of what a serial killer did to the victims, for instance, then that empathy is incomplete, which introduces a real potential for cognitive dissonance in our lives. What is Empathetic Skepticism? Empathy is absent in a lot of skeptical people who think critically and who are aware of the conflicting value systems in our world as well as some of the harm that happens in our society. They think so critically that they tend to forget that human emotion is the primary motivator for human action. Therefore, it's important to be able to combine being in touch with our emotional, intuitive core, and having our thoughts and feelings work as peers, instead of having our thoughts stand superior over our feelings. That way, when we're faced with real, polarizing issues in our society, we can lean into empathy to act as a bridge, where we make people safe and at the same time, and at the same time, have an informed discussion so we can come up with pragmatic solutions that will further expand our empathy. The Deep Brain Empathy doesn't come from the right brain, but from the deep brain, composed of our brain stem and our limbic system. Those are the older parts of the brain trusted to solve our problems. But most of the problems in our society today come from too little awareness of deep brain activity, hence, too little connection with our feelings.

Shasheen is a high performance coach and author.  His upcoming book is called The Kid and The King. He navigates business outcomes and brings personal change to people. Shasheen has been a trusted adviser to an incredible group of high achievers on everything from business and strategy to personal relationships, communication, and leadership. Being the only Indian kid in an all-Jewish community, Shasheen didn't feel he belonged. But this set him off on this journey of trying to figure out how to navigate this world effectively. And along the way, he found his interest in business, in people, and strategy. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: - What blocks people from being good to great - The role of our past, childhood experiences in becoming who we are today - Understanding and mastering self-awareness - About his book, The Kid and The King - 3 hard questions to ask yourself - Embracing the duality of the kid and the king in you - How to re-engage and reignite your life Episode Highlights: What Blocks People From Being Good to Great It's all about emotional survivability. There are a lot of studies about the biology of the brain and how we go into this fight, flight or freeze mechanism. As humans, we're just trying to emotionally survive everything. We're trying to look good and gain admiration. We make sure we use the right words or say it the right way. That voice inside our head is just incessant. Now, people deal with that part of the human experience in a variety of different ways. Some people can navigate it really well. They have it under control and they will go out and accomplish things. And others haven't yet developed the skill sets needed to navigate it. This adversarial relationship we have with that part of ourselves is responsible for a lot of the reasons that we end up pulling back. We fight, flee, or freeze and we don't take a risk because we want to keep it together. The Role of Our Past We underestimate the extent to how our childhood is affecting us in our modern day world. And so, we need to understand how we got to be the way we are today. There's also the complexity of recognizing the depths of those emotional wounds. And part of the work is recognizing those patterns. Be familiar with the conditions, situations, the tonalities, the language, the environment, and your body, whether you're hungry or tired, whatever it might be, and the conditions under which that part of you is going to show up. Understanding and Mastering Self-Awareness People want a quick fix. But instead of evading and avoiding things to numb the pain away, try to flip the conversation. Know your triggers and know that what's coming is an opportunity for those to get resolved once again. Those voices will never go away. But what it comes down to is developing a new relationship with that side of yourself. The idea is to come to understand how you got to where you were. What are the components? What are the stories? What is the wiring of your survival instincts? Then how do you look forward and create from a place of not the past, but from where you want to go? 3 hard questions to ask yourself: - What do you want? - Why do you want it? - What are you willing to do to get it? The Duality of the Kid and the King in You Allowing both to coexist is the most loving thing you can do for yourself. There's a relationship between your younger self and your big self. And it comes out with the people that we have the greatest vested interest in – with our loved ones, our family, our intimate partners, or even our co-workers. *** www.shasheen.com

Joel Leon is a TED talk giver-creative-copywriter-rapper-father-and-the-list-goes-on – a perfect example that as humans, we’re all multi-hyphenated – capable of doing multiple things being the multi-heightened beings that we are. Today, Joel gives us some enlightening insights into how we can hold space for ourselves and for other people every day, as well as how we can bring awareness to diversity through empathy and compassion. Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: The grind of agency life Bringing your heart to work and holding space The goal of meditation and how to find inspiration through exploration How we’re all multi-hyphenates Understanding the cultural nuance and intersectionality of people Episode Highlights: Holding Space for Yourself and Others Bring your heart wherever you are because it’s important to hold space for yourself. While we strive to be the best versions of ourselves each day, we also need to recognize we're going to fall short of that, on some days. And so we have to create space for that as well. You then feel more inclined to lean into the heart spaces of others more because you see people are doing the same. And even if you're not necessarily looking at the results, you're looking at the energy the person brings into the spaces. This then creates room for that conversation to happen and instances that wouldn’t normally have otherwise. How to Find Inspiration Through Exploration It's okay to treat the things that we consider to be mundane or “the every day things” as part of our exploration. Every single moment is an opportunity to be inspired. Our brains are tracking everything – whether it be conversations or interactions. Creativity gets to show up in different ways and as you become aware, you become inspired and you open to the things in the spaces and the people you’re engaging with. Humans are Multi-Hyphenates Humans are multifaceted beings. We're multi-hyphenated because we all do more than one thing. We also have a level of creativity alongside the other roles and responsibilities we have as humans. You could be a photographer-copywriter-designer and that list could go on. We’re built to do more than one thing and be good at more than one thing. After all, we’re all multi-heightened beings. Understanding The Cultural Nuance and Intersectionality of People The way a person greets you in Japan is different than the way a person greets you from the Bronx. You may have clients who may have come from other countries whose way of saying yes or no is how they position their bodies. The way we read people is different. So we have to understand. We can’t be too presumptuous or make decisions or judgments about people without recognizing the cultural nuance of those situations. Distinguishing Empathy and Compassion Empathy lays the foundation for compassion. Compassion is the action, empathy is the feeling. And compassion is that empathy being put into action. The distinction is paramount. And so, a person is not only able to feel what you feel, but feel what you feel in a way that creates space to do something about it – whether by lending a helping hand or using your voice as an ally. Resources Mentioned: https://www.ted.com/speakers/joel_leon https://www.instagram.com/iamjoelleon https://twitter.com/joelakamag?lang=en

In this episode, Claude sits down with Shasheen Shah and covers inspired work, getting in our own way, and the importance of John Nash in the film " A Beautiful Mind." For more than 20 years, Shasheen has delivered breakthrough results to successful leaders around the world, navigating business outcomes and the personal challenges that go hand in hand with the journey. High-achieving professionals from Tesla, Hewlett Packer, IBM, Sotheby’s and Martha Stewart crafts are but a few who have benefited from. Shasheen’s life-altering coaching skills. His razor-sharp intuition, combined with his unique ability to tactfully navigate and address life’s most confronting conversations separates him from the rest, allowing him to cut through the barriers that stand in the way of the people with whom he works Understanding the work and world of Shasheen is to understand who he is from the inside out. Readers, clients and friends will benefit from the values that serve as his “operating system.” They include: * Living in and contributing to a kind and compassionate world. * Cultivating the art of listening * Teaching people how to put down their arms – pointed at themselves! Stop trying to fix what isn’t broken. * Learn and practice acceptance. * Mentoring young people, entrepreneurs and our next generation of leaders. * Share the lifelong commitment to our inner life as a practice not just a quick-fix, short-sighted theory. * Serving the greater good (not just ourselves). * Living the life we imagine – starting now! Find him here: https://www.shasheen.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/shasheen/ Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Officer at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 900+ people, infusing the company with empathy, kind candor and strength! You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver

Joel Leon is a performer, author and storyteller, born and raised in the Bronx, who writes and tells stories for Black people. He's been featured in the Columbia Journal, BBC News, Sirius XM, Forbes, Insider, Medium, Philadelphia Printworks, Blavity and the Huffington Post. He has spoken and performed at the Apollo Theater, Joe's Pub, Rockwood Music Hall, Columbia University, NYU and Webster Hall. He lives in the Bronx and is the father to Lilah and West. In this episode, Claude and Joel cover topics such as bringing your heart to work, how creativity isn't limited to a title, and the value of understanding cultural nuance. Find him here: Twitter: @JoelakaMaG Medium: https://iamjoelleon.medium.com https://www.ted.com/talks/joel_leon_the_beautiful_hard_work_of_co_parenting#t-551994 Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Officer at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 900+ people, infusing the company with empathy, kind candor and strength! You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver

Voted to Forbes' 30 Under 30, Inc 30 Under 30, & Adweek Creative 100 lists - John Henry is a Dominican-American entrepreneur, investor, TV show host, real estate developer, vlogger, and podcast host. You can find him at: Instagram: @johnhenrystyle Twitter: @johnhenrystyle LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/johnhenrystyle In this episode, Claude asks John about his journey from humble beginnings as a New York City doorman to becoming a Co-CEO of a fast-growing startup. Together they discuss growth and bringing your whole self to work. Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Officer at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 900+ people, infusing the company with empathy, kind candor and strength! You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver

Nancy J. Spotton is an expert in Connected Teams, Leadership Development and Personal Brand Building. She is a rockstar!! After 25 years leading corporate teams, Nancy completed her Masters Magna Cum Laude and at 52 launched MPWR, a business that fills the void of building future leaders. MPWR designs Immersive, Intensive and Impactful Live Learning Communities with the intent of training future Champions inside Champion Teams. Together, Nancy and Claude discuss leadership development, empathy ,and leading teams of people. Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Officer at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 900+ people, infusing the company with empathy, kind candor and strength! You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver

I had the incredible pleasure of interviewing Mark Crowley for my first ever vlog on The Silver Lining Podcast. Mark began speaking about a radical way to lead a handful of years back -  his "radical" approach was called "Lead from the Heart" and he captured my attention immediately as he was speaking my language!  I was nodding my head pretty much our entire conversation, as Mark shared where his empathy and incredible passion for the reinvention of traditional leadership thinking comes from. When it comes to employee engagement that moves people to do extraordinary work, Mark C. Crowley is an innovative, tested, and celebrated leader. We sit down together, and Mark tells the story of his life, his success in business, and the moments that lead him to his ground-breaking book "Lead From The Heart: Transformational Leadership For The 21st Century." Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Office at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 800 people, infusing the company with empathy. You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver

Leadership is about Love. Full Stop. Let’s work together to create cultures where people actually want to go to work on Monday morning. Let’s Go! Let’s bring more humanity and reality into our workplaces ❤️ Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Office at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 800 people, infusing the company with empathy. You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver

Name your fears and put them in the backseat. You get to drive the bus, not them! ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

It's my firm belief that "HR" needs to act as guides and coaches in today's organizations. Yes, we do need to know the hard skills of employee law etc.. but we need to have a heart that wants to actually serve and coach others. Everyone deserves to have a coach, not just the employees who struggle, but everyone.  

I’ve always leaned much more right brained than left - and balancing these sides has been a life long journey for me . The payoffs have been massive and given me an ability to see multi sides of situations.

To face vulnerability can be uncomfortable for people both in and out of the workplace, but when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, the world opens up.

The way I look at any and all employees is through a holistic lens of the whole human. This view allows us to keep in mind who they are as people, and what their personal boundaries are, and from there we can set them up for success!

Uniqueness in the workplace creates belonging and contributes to the growth of the company. 

My friend Bill Cummings asked me a powerful question that I don't get every day; "How has faith and spirituality shaped who I am today?" This was my kind of question! Spirituality is very much at the core of who I am, it is a compass for my life, and it's based on a lot of the great teachings - mainly Love. Give this episode a listen - I'd love to know your thoughts!

On this episode, I share insights into how we changed the hiring at Vaynermedia from Culture Fit to Skill Set fit and Culture Addition. Also, if everyone is a learner & everyone is a teacher, who is the smartest person in the room? Is it you? Is it me? Listen in and share your thoughts with me.

What inspired you when you were a kid? One of the questions I ask when someone is stuck. We only have one go around, so why not make it the best years of your life. Listen in to this episode if you are feeling stuck right now and need help.

How do you help someone become self-aware? I share a little bit about my own personal journey and how at Vaynermedia this has evolved from concept to real application with everyone we work with.

Transparency is a an interesting thing... It can be the gateway to your freedom...But how? And why is it that accountability and responsibility are kissing cousins when it comes to being transparent..? On this episode, I share with you my thoughts on the power of transparency.

On this episode, I share what for me is the true essence of what it means to lead your life and what is the role of a leader or a coach in someone's life.  If you have questions or thoughts on this topic I would love to hear from you.

When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.

Slaying Your Dragons: Emotional & spiritual growth await all of us. Slaying our fears and limitations is what brings us to a place of endless possibility and freedom.

Being Human: WYSIWYG. What you see is what you get. Let's imagine a world where we don't feel the need to put shields and armour up with one another. A world where we can simply be respectful, kind, generous and grateful.

We are invited into people's personal cultures every day. That is an invitation to take up space. So how do you want to show up when you are there?

Focus on living in the moments. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

Let’s find a way to give to this world rather than to take. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

Flexing your vulnerability is a way to move forward. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

You get to do you. Just ride your ride, one foot in front of the other you will find your footing. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

Human to human connection is what spirituality means to me. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

It's our responsibility as leaders to hold space and listen. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

It doesn't matter where you start, it matters that you start. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

How do you give yourself permission to do a job you love? ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

There is beauty in being a late bloomer. Eventually, you  bloom. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

Free yourself from the barriers you have created, and let happiness in. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

Give yourself the opportunity to take up space and be big! ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

Every high-five is a connection. Every high-five is of value. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

Flex your muscles of vulnerability and inspire others to do the same. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

When you hold space for someone, they can open up and surprise you. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com

Shed your skin many times until you get to the place where you feel home and most welcomed by yourself. ❤️ I love hearing from you! Your comments and questions mean the world to me. Email me at claude@claudesilver.com