By United Way of Utah County
EveryDay Strong is the podcast for any parent, teacher, or caring adult who wants to support youth dealing with anxiety and depression. Our interviews with experts will answer your questions about real-life experiences—and teach you the perspectives and tools you need to help kids bounce back, no matter the issue.
EveryDay StrongAug 29, 2022
Needs of Homeless Young People in Utah
Heather Hogue has been working with Utah's homeless population for 16 years. In this episode, she talks about the complexities of homelessness and what might be done to alleviate the suffering of those experiencing it.
Emotional Safety of Young People Amidst Today's Political Climate
Representative Marsha Judkins shares the insights she has gained while working as a college professor and Representative for Utah's District 61.
Building Confidence Through Goal Setting
Therapist Catherine Johnson talks about encouraging our teenagers to set long term goals and the trajectories and desires that we have for them.
Why do teens today seem so apathetic?
EveryDay Strong co-founder and child psychiatrist Matt Swenson explains that he believes today's young people are NOT apathetic, but they appear to be for various reasons.
Maintaining and Strengthening a Loving Relationship with Your Child
Social Worker Jay Snyder and EveryDay Strong Director Michaelann Gardner explore the topic of loving your children even when they make it difficult.
Does my child need therapy?
Parents and caregivers of young people want to give their kids the very best chance at a happy life. When they struggle we may wonder if therapy is the right thing for your child. If you do decide to put them in therapy, how do you go about it? What if your child is resistant? Allan Pauole, CMHC explores these questions in this episode.
How do I teach my child responsibility?
Catherine Johnson, LCSW, talks about teaching children to take responsibility for their lives, the importance of parents being on the same page and how to reach a compromise.
Los desafíos únicos que enfrentan los jóvenes latinos en el condado de Utah (Unique Challenges facing Latino Youth in Utah County--Spanish)
Kathryn Malmstrom de EveryDay Strong habla con Abraham Hernández del Centro Hispano de Provo sobre las presiones que a menudo sienten los hijos de inmigrantes. EveryDay Strong's Kathryn Malmstrom speaks with Abraham Hernandez of Centro Hispano in Provo about the pressures children of immigrants often feel. Please share this episode with any Spanish Speakers you think could benefit from learning more about the mental health of Latino youth.
We have an English version for any caring adults who interact with Latino youth here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/everydaystrong/episodes/What-challenges-are-Latino-youth-in-our-area-facing-e27skib/a-a8nkgvo
How can I be a trusted adult?
Did you know that young people who have at least one trusted adult in their lives tend to be more successful and have a better overall well-being? What is a trusted adult and what characteristics do they share? Brooklyn Raney, speaker, workshop facilitator, and author of the book, " One Trusted Adult: How to Build Strong Connections & Healthy Boundaries with Young People," answers these questions and explains the importance of boundaries.
What challenges are Latino youth in our area facing?
Did you know that Latinos make up 17% of the population of Utah County? Many of these people are immigrants with unique challenges. Centro Hispano Communications Director, Abraham Hernandez talks specifically about the mental-health needs of children and teens in immigrant families.
My kids are always fighting. How do I get them to stop?
How do you maintain safety, connection, and confidence at home when your kids just want to fight? In today’s episode, Eliza takes a look at one family struggling to keep the peace between two siblings. Taking time to understand the needs of each of your children will help you model healthy relationships, resolve conflicts, and communicate expectations of kindness.
How do I respond to my child's negative self-talk?
Question: "I’ve got a twelve year old who routinely says things like, 'I’m so stupid, I can’t do this math homework.' When I try to coach her through the problem or tell her she’s smart enough to figure it out, she just gets angry and shuts down. It often results in her not turning in her homework at all, and I’m already forseeing how this is going to affect her long-term life skills. What can I do?"
Michaelann interviews Allan Pauole, Clinical Mental Health Counselor with Revere Health. He draws from his experiences as a father and therapist working with youth in the foster and court systems.
What is accomodation? And why should parents avoid it?
Research shows that 95% of parents who have an anxious child practice accommodation. This might look like changing a family routine or helping a child complete a difficult task. Eliza explains why accommodation can be counterproductive to building resilience. Listen to find out how your response to a child’s distress can help them overcome anxiety.
How can I support emotional resilience in my young athlete?
Have you ever wondered if the increasingly competitive nature of youth sports is helping or harming your kid? Do you want to know the best way for parents to be involved in extracurricular activities? This episode talks about the state of organized youth sports in America and how parents can support their young athletes.
Dr. Michael King is a parenting and family relations expert. While studying at Utah State Univesity, he participated in the Families in Sports Lab under the direction of Dr. Travis Dorsch. Today, Michael is the director of a program called “Legacy Kids”, a youth development program serving families in cache valley, UT. In this program, Michael helps parents foster the senses of connection, capability, and autonomy within their children.
My child hates school. How can I help?
Is your child skipping class? Do you suspect anxiety is the culprit? School avoidance is different from playing hooky. This episode talks about the only long-term solution for anxiety, and how parents can help kids take baby steps back into the classroom.
Is social media hurting your teen's mental health?
Social media and mental health is a hot topic in the news and scientific community. Listen to this episode for an update on what the experts are discovering about how social media may influence teen wellbeing.
Megan Gale is an adjunct professor at Brigham Young University in the school of family life. For several years she's been studying the effect of media on families. Click the link below to read more about her research on parents' use of social media and teen mental health.
Sleep and Mental Health: Part 2
What if your kid wants to get more rest but anxiety is keeping them up at night? Picking up where we left off last week, Eliza talks about what parents can do when time management isn’t enough to help their kid get more sleep. In this episode, take a peek into a teenager’s head as they lie in bed and learn what adults can do to slow the flow of racing thoughts in young minds.
Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls, by Dr. Lisa Damour
Let's talk suicide - creating safety and connection with difficult subjects
With deaths by suicide happening as young as 5 years old, we know it's important to talk about, but that doesn't make the topic any easier. Please know you're not alone if you struggle to know what to say. Take a deep breath, and give this episode a listen.
Join Darrin Brandt, a local therapist at Revere Health, as he helps us find ways to:
- navigate conversations with children who ask us about suicide
- create a safe space to talk if a child in your life is feeling suicidal
- build connection by allowing space for you and your child to process feelings at an individual pace
Sleep and Mental Health: Part 1
If the lofty goal of 8-10 hours of sleep a night for your teenager seems unrealistic, you aren’t entirely wrong. Not only are high school students incredibly busy, they’re fighting their biological clock to get to bed earlier.
In part one of this episode, Eliza shares some strategic ways you can partner with your teen to improve sleep habits. Then, next week, join us for part two, when we dive into what to do when anxiety keeps your child up at night.
Chronic illness and resilience
One in five kids in the United States has a long-lasting medical condition or disability. In this week’s podcast, Eliza has a conversation with Davi Vitela, a child life specialist at Primary Children’s hospital. Davi shares how she helps kids feel safe, connected, and confident while receiving medical treatment. Listen for tips on helping kids cope with stressful situations.
Managing the emotional flood
When was the last time your teenager had a meltdown? Developing adolescent brains are sometimes overwhelmed by powerful feelings. In today’s episode, we share an excerpt from an article by Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, about how parents can respond to a child’s emotional tidal wave.
How can I best support my child through my divorce?
If you're going through a divorce, you may feel powerless when it comes to helping your child adjust to the separation and the changes that come along with it.
What can you do?
What do they need?
Where do you start?
Therapist Catherine Johnson shares her personal experience and professional advice on how to learn and meet your child's needs in this turbulent time. Join us as she shares how to create safety in your relationship, address their questions, and ensure them they are loved no matter what.
How adults can help with stress
Today’s episode takes a look at the lives of two 15 year olds experiencing chronic stress. Although Adam and Zara's circumstances are polar opposites, the EveryDay Strong resilience framework shows how caring adults could make a difference in both their lives. Listen for ideas on how to use safety, connection, and confidence to help your teen feel less stressed.
Adam and Zara’s stories are borrowed from the first chapter of The Self Driven Child, by William Stixrud, PhD, & Ned Johnson.
Mini episode: how do I talk to my child who is anxious about current events?
For the past two years, we’ve heard different versions of this question over and over again. There’s no way to completely shield your child from everything that is going on in the world these days. And if your child is extra sensitive, you may worry that talking with your child about current events may increase their anxiety.
Today, we’ll explain why it’s important to have conversations with your kids about what they see or hear on the news and how you can help them feel safe. We’ll cover five general tips that will help you be there for your kid when something scary has happened. The world may feel like a crazy place at times, but you can prepare your child for a resilient future.
Mini episode: will my child be successful in life?
You love your kids, so you probably spend a lot of time worrying about them. Not knowing what your child’s future has in store can make you feel anxious and tense. But remember–secondary education and careers rarely go according to plan. Yet things almost always work out better than we could have imagined!
Today’s episode includes a reading from the book The Self Driven Child. The authors, Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, have spent their entire careers counseling and tutoring gifted and struggling students. You’ll learn that keeping an open mind about the path to a successful life will help both you and your kid feel happier and less stressed.
The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, by William Stixtrud PhD & Ned Johnson
How can I support my kid who has decided not to go to college?
While growing up in Maine, Dustin Jones was a top student and founder of his school’s competitive robotics team. He graduated high school with plans to become an engineer. After several years of grueling work, his plans came crashing down when his college put him on academic probation.
This episode features Dustin’s personal journey to find a fulfilling and promising career. His experience shows how young people can be resilient in the face of setbacks and what parents can do to help their kids achieve their goals.
Mini episode: when is it ok to let my child quit?
Are you having arguments with your child about their participation in a sport or another extracurricular activity? Is your child losing interest or facing a temporary setback? It can be difficult to know whether the right move is to encourage your child to keep trying or support their decision to quit. Both can help your child become more resilient, depending on the situation.
In today’s episode, we’re sharing a really fascinating story from a popular memoir called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua. You’ll hear one mom’s take on this dilemma as she raises her two daughters to become talented musicians. The link to the book on Amazon is listed below.
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua
Creating a positive family culture
Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Each child will add his or her own unique personality and influence the shared family experience.
Join us this week as we talk with Ben & Gabrielle Blair, who live in Normandy, France and are the parents of six kids ages 12 and up. They share their personal experiences living abroad, creating a strong family culture, and watching their kids leave the nest.
You can learn more about their family on Gabrielle's Instagram: @designmom
Mini episode: how to survive middle school
Parenting begins to take on a new meaning when your child reaches the pre-teen years. For both parents and kids, the move to middle school can be a difficult adjustment. Keeping track of a schedule, organizing a binder, and navigating a new campus are challenges for still developing brains.
If you are worried that your child has been thrown in the deep end, this episode is for you. We’ll talk about how the everyday disasters of middle school are actually helping your child become more resilient.
Today’s reading came from Jessica Lahey’s book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed.
Tap into the power of teens to make the world a better place
Research shows that volunteering can make people feel happier and more confident. Maybe you know and admire a teen who is always willing to help. What motivates these youth to serve? And how can parents help their child become more involved in the community? In today’s episode, we’ll answer these questions and talk about why your teen is probably thinking about how they can make the world a better place.
Dr. Andy Harris is an assistant professor of Human Development and Family Studies at Utah State University. He also works closely with HOBY, a youth leadership group, and the Utah Association of Youth Councils. At Utah State University, Dr. Harris studies the civic attitudes and behaviors of teenagers, especially the community service efforts of young people.
Mini episode: how do I know if my teen is overscheduled?
Day to day life can be hectic, especially for teens. Although extracurricular activities are really helpful in a child’s learning and development, kids also need unstructured time to take care of their needs.
In this episode, we’ll describe an activity that will help you reflect on your family schedule to find the balance between active and quiet activities. Prioritizing down time will benefit the entire family’s mental health!
Connect with your kids through family time
You’ve heard the saying “the family that plays together, stays together” before. But if you’ve ever been on a chaotic family vacation, you may have doubted the truth of that statement. In today’s episode, our guest Dr. Jasmine Townsend talks about the benefits of family recreation and how you can connect with your child–toddler or teen–through play.
Dr. Jasmine Townsend is an Associate Professor in Recreational Therapy within the Department of Parks, Recreation, and Tourism Management at Clemson University in South Carolina. She has worked in community adaptive sports and therapeutic recreation programs as a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist, as well as in wilderness and residential behavioral treatment programs for adolescents.
Mini episode: Is my child texting too much?
Do you keep track of how many texts your kid gets each day? If so, it might not surprise you to learn that adolescents typically send and receive thousands of messages every month. But how bad is texting really? And does it affect mental health?
In this week’s mini episode, Eliza talks about how parents can set boundaries around phones and texting that support their child’s physical and emotional needs.
Help your kids manage technology
GIVEWAY CLOSES FRIDAY 9/16 *See below for instructions*
Tech is complicated. So are kids. There are many factors that influence mental health and behavior, and phones are one small piece of the bigger picture.
In today’s episode, we talk about some common situations parents face while navigating digital parenting. Our expert, Carrie Rogers Whitehead, shares what parents can do to promote safety, connection, and confidence online as their child grows and develops.
Carrie’s company, Digital Respons-Ability, trains parents, educators, and students on digital citizenship and internet safety.
For a chance to win a signed copy of her book, The 3 Ms of Fearless Digital Parenting: Proven Tools to Help You Raise Smart and Savvy Online Kids, follow EveryDay Strong on social media and send us a DM with the codeword we share in this episode.
You can also buy her book here.
Podcast Rewind: How do I get my child's teacher on the same page as me?
To end this season, in case you missed catching this episode from Season 2, here's a rerun episode with Jenny Howe!
You might have a vision for what your teenager or child needs in order to thrive. But you're not the only adult in your kids' life: there's her teacher, perhaps his other parent, or their youth leaders at church or a club. Are they resistant to what you know your child needs?
Licensed clinical therapist Jenny Howe deals with this all the time. She specializes in helping parents collaborate with the school to figure out a plan that will work for everyone. Listen now to learn how to have a better conversation and what actions you can take to support your kid.
To learn more about helping your child, Jenny suggests reading Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them by Ross W. Greene.
Finding peace amidst life's storms
In today's episode, we talked to Lisa Clark, a mother of five, and she shares one of the most challenging experiences her family has experienced and what she did to stay calm and persevere and help her kids thrive through these challenges.
Lisa cared for her husband with a terminal illness in which she learned how to cope by doing things to calm her, she learned how and who to reach out for support, she learned that modeling healthy emotional behavior means staying authentic to your emotions, and she learned to don't sweat the small stuff.
Listen as Lisa shares her story and how she cared for herself and her children during the hardest time in their life with laughter, love, and tears.
How can I be more confident in my parenting?
What can you do when you constantly do the same "parenting fail" over and over?
You lose confidence in your parenting skills, feel hopeless, and are stuck. What can help with these feelings is changing your mindset to view confidence as something that grows through experience as you overcome challenges.
And having a clear vision of what you want to accomplish as a parent can build your confidence, which you can impart to your kids. You have to be confident to instill confidence in your kids.
In today's episode, we talked with clinical mental health counselor Scott McConnell about the challenges of building confidence and how that affects how we parent our kids.
To learn more about building confidence, Scott suggests the following books:
No drama discipline by Dan Siegel
The whole-brainchild by Dan Siegel & Tina Bryson
Parenting with love and logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay
Brainstorm: the power and purpose of the teenage brain by Dan Siegel
How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
Find friendships and make them last without wearing yourself out
When raising a family distances us from old friends, starting a new friendship from scratch can be intimidating! Remember this isn’t your first rodeo. Today's episode with local therapist Collette Dawson-Loveless, LCSW, will help you jump the mental hurdles and make meaningful connections even as an adult! Listen for her tips about building vulnerability, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding roadblocks on your path to connection and support.
To learn more about building connections, Collette suggests the following books:
Love Sense by Dr. Sue Johnson
Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A.
Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin Psy.D.
Parenting From the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel M.D. and Mary Hartzell M.Ed.
Doing the right things to take care of you but still feeling on edge?
The balance is HARD between focusing on a kid’s needs and not forgetting about your own.
If you feel like you’re always living on the edge of a breakdown, it might have to do with learning to calm your body, not just your mind. When your own needs for calm and peace are met, it’s a lot easier to parent the way you want to.
Today’s episode with Dr. Andrea Moore (who has a doctorate in physical therapy!) shares science-based grounding techniques for preventing getting to the edge.
Why is self care so hard?
One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to take care of yourself.
We all know the list: get enough water, get enough sleep, get some exercise.
But that's so much easier said than done.
Kristin Erskine, assistant professor at Rocky Mountain University of Health Professions, is here to share the simple things you may not have thought of that can change your ability to take care of your needs.
Mini episode: change your teen's mind
You've told your teenager that they really, really need to focus on bringing their grades up or it's going to be difficult to get into a good college--but it's so much more fun to NOT do that, they argue. You're trying to convince them that they should go to bed at a decent hour but they push back: "none of my friends have to go to bed by then."
These arguments go around and around. Sometimes it's simply a matter of being the heavy and laying down the rules. Sometimes, though, we can try a different tack.
Today's episode is a reading from medical doctor Atul Gawande about how he persuades his unwilling patients to listen to his wisdom. See if you can glean insight about how you might interact with your balking teenager--and ultimately help her change her own mind.
Mini episode: how to be less angry
Do you find yourself having mini adult meltdowns from time to time? Where you just lose it and yell and get angry for seemingly no reason? (the feeling of "breaking.") Or a strong sense that you just have to get out of the house, away from your life, no matter what.
These feelings usually relate to the amount of safety we feel in our own bodies and that we have created for ourselves. The good news is: you can learn to create more safety for yourself so that you can parent the way you want to. Tune into this week's mini-episode to learn how.
For more information:
How to turn off the fight/flight response: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agdpFsKGdOE
Resmaa Menakem: My Grandmother's Hands https://www.amazon.com/My-Grandmothers-Hands-Racialized-Pathway/dp/1942094477
Off to college: I'm so worried about my child's ability to make friends
When our kids go off to college for the first time, it's a HUGE and sudden shift in our relationship with them. Up until now, we've been able to protect and shelter them from the worst of what life has to offer. But now they are on their own for the first time. They might struggle to make friends. They might struggle to manage their schedule. And sometimes we feel so helpless.
You don't have to be helpless, but you do have the chance to learn a new kind of relationship with your child. Tune in to our conversation with Licensed Clinical Social Worker Catherine Johnson to learn what you can do to be a support for your child but also give them the room to spread their wings.
Thank you to our sponsor, Revere Health, for making this podcast possible. Learn more at www.reverehealth.com
What about harm from other adults?
One of the hardest things as parents is feeling helpless when we know our child has to come in contact with another adult who may be harsh or punitive. For example: if you are divorced and your child is court-ordered to spend weekends with their other parent. What can you possibly do to help your child feel strong, loved, and protected?
Today I talked with Kelli Stout, who works as a therapist at the Children's Justice Center in downtown Provo. Every day she supports the survivors of child abuse. She gives us ideas of how we can make our home a haven, how we can validate our child's right to their safety, and what's most important to do in our relationship with our child. Listen now to learn more.
Kelli also recommends two books for further reading: 1) The Yes Brain by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne and 2) What Happened to You by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry.
Thank you to our sponsor, Revere Health, for making this podcast possible. Learn more at www.reverehealth.com
I've never parented like this before and the change feels hard
"The boundaries you set for your kid make more sense when you do feel connected to them."
A lot of us were parented in a very top-down way: "do what I say or you're grounded" kind of a mindset.
You might feel like you want to do a different kind of parenting. But the shift is not an easy one!
Today we're talking to a very average, but very stellar, parent Kristina Pexton. Kristina walks us through her journey of trying to figure out how to connect with her kids and give her best even when up against all the normal parts of being a human. You'll find some inspiration here for your own journey to being the kind of parent you really want to be.
In addition to being a parent who tries her best, Kristina is also the Family Life Commissioner for the Utah PTA.
Thank you to our sponsor, Revere Health, for making this podcast possible. Learn more at www.reverehealth.com
Pediatricians and my child: how can I talk to them about our needs?
Your child's pediatrician is one of the most important players in supporting your child through anxiety or depression. They can prescribe medications, help you understand the chemical nature of what's happening with your child, and help you make sure all their physical needs are met (like helping them sleep or eat better).
But how can you make this relationship as optimal as possible? What does a pediatrician want you to know about how to work with them? This week, I talk with family doctor Dr. Dana Munn from Revere Health about how you can partner with your child's doctor to figure out solutions that will be best for your child.
My son can't socialize and I'm really scared about his future
As we go out and teach EveryDay Strong in the community, there are a lot of parents who are very worried about their teenager who struggles to carry on a conversation. Basic social skills are the foundation for everything else in life, like getting a job or having meaningful relationships. But if you can't even talk to your teenager about how they can't talk to people, what are you supposed to do?
Licensed Clinical Social Worker Jay Snyder talks with us this week about how the difficulty itself can be the path forward. That might sound a little strange, so tune in now for wisdom about how creating safety and patience can help you unravel this tricky situation.
My child needs professional help but I'm overwhelmed about how to find it
You probably know this feeling: a child in your life needs professional help but you have no idea where to start. Psychiatrist? Psychologist? Therapist? LCSW? LMFT? CMHC? What do these acronyms even mean? Will my insurance cover it? What do I do if I don't have insurance?
These are all questions that can feel overwhelming. Fortunately, you are not the first person to experience this and our community has resources for you. Today I'm talking with someone from one of my favorite programs, a NAMI Utah Mentor. A mentor's entire job is to help you figure out how to crack this. Mentors are people like you who have been down this path before and they can make a complex process much more manageable.
Listen now to hear Wendy's advice, and learn more about this program at www.namiut.org/resources/mentoring or by calling 801-323-9900 (M-F 9 AM - 4:15 PM).
Much gratitude to our Season 3 sponsor, Revere Health. Learn more at reverehealth.com.
The power of caring adults beyond parents
This week I spoke with Rachel Mortensen, who currently serves as Miss Eagle Mountain, about what went well for her and her mental health during the pandemic. She shares some particularly insightful ideas about how having support beyond just your parents can make an incredible difference for our well-being.
Bullying: how can we meet emotional needs?
Bullying is something we don't ever want to see happen in our schools. Unfortunately, it still does from time to time. When it does, how can we meet the emotional needs of the kid being bullied? And how can we think about meeting the bully's needs for safety, connection, and confidence to help her or him make better choices?
School counselor Lynnete Nielson gives us her perspective and some tricks.
Learn more about EveryDay Strong at www.everydaystrong.org.