EvesDropping
By Emily Brown & Meg Miller
EvesDroppingApr 13, 2023
Episode 3.1: Dropping the Hostage Complex
Emily & Meg discuss how people and stories are holding them hostage. They explore how we give other people our power, letting them determine our happiness, our value, our worth. They consider how we take other people’s stories personally and that begins this hostage situation because we get into the blame game and self-righteousness, all ways that deplete our personal power. The keys to our freedom begin with awareness, self-compassion, self-validation, courage, and detachment.
“One of the keys to freedom is awareness: when you realize your head is spinning, your focus is outside yourself or proving yourself.”
“We have to learn to distinguish if we are in a lower state of being, a lower vibration in our bodies, in order to clear it.”
“The moment you realize you are doing mental gymnastics, you are in a tortured state.”
“It can be as simple as I am going to let go, let go, let go, release all those sticky stories, even just on every exhale, it helps us reach for freedom.”
“I realized I constantly braced, waiting for the moment I let these intense feelings pierce my soul. But that’s when I knew I had to let them come in. I could handle them.”
“Sometimes the hardest thing to understand is that you are bracing because there is some truth in other people’s assessments of you or your situation and you are not being honest with yourself.”
“Once you know your own limits, no one can hold them over your head anymore.”
“Am I grounded in my body by these choices of nourishment and care or am I taken out of my body with my fearful thoughts?”
“Are we constantly thinking that we are broken and a problem needing to be fixed?”
Original Art by Meg Miller
References from the episode:
#byronkatie #eckharttolle #budha
For further exploration, we loved this book:
Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships by @kellymcdanieltherapy
#detachment #stateofflow #mythsthatmakeusmiserable #surrender #trust #Evesdropping #personalgrowth #spotifypodcasts #applepodcasts #healing #positivevibes #selftrust #attachmentwound
Episode 2.6: Dropping Righteousness & Revenge
Emily & Meg discuss those feelings that comes up for every single human being: righteousness and revenge. They explore how revenge is a powerful internal force we must seek to understand. They offer ways they practice deeper self-inquiry to find out what stories are really underneath these intense feelings. They decide setting better goals - like inner peace instead of vindictiveness - can alleviate the need to prove to others we are right and they are wrong.
“How am I making this story bigger than it needs to be? How am I getting locked into proving I am right and the other person is wrong?”
“I let go because I want to be at peace.”
“Sometimes we get so bound by the ‘liner perspective’ of one possibility that we are not open to creative input or the infinite number of possibilities that exist so we torture ourselves staying in this one narrative.”
“Inner peace is the only issue you need to concern yourself with - not faking this ulterior motive of forgiveness.”
“Be careful that you are picking your course of action from a place of inner knowing, not being triggered into responding, which corrupts your decision.”
“Underneath the reacting, is a frantic feeling of powerless.”
“What is my pay-off in this story? Am I getting attention, pity, a story to entertain people, etc.?”
“The answer and the problem are always so simple.”
Original Art by Meg Miller
References from the episode:
#byronkatie
For further exploration, we loved this book:
Letting Go - The Pathway to Surrender by David Hawkins
#wearejustmonkeys #vulnerability #gratitude #freedom #revenge #reactive #empowered #sweetrevenge #surrender #youareworthy #surrender
#podcastersofinstagram #podcastinglife #applepodcasts #spotifypodcasts #personalgrowth #selfdevelopment #selfhelp #positivevibes #infinitepossibilities
#mindsetpodcast #personaldevelopmentpodcast
#podcastaddict #femalepodcasters #spiritualwarrior
#useyourgifts #youaremorethanyouthink #thinkingofyou #trust
#spreadinglove #motivationeveryday
#startyourevolutionbaby
Episode 2.5: The Power of Asking & Receiving
Emily & Meg discuss what it means to be stripped of adornments, health, and abilities. They discuss their feelings about being vulnerable enough to ask someone for help during these times and what happens when we don’t allow ourselves to receive that help.
“When you are stripped away from feeling well, strong, radiant, it feels like a new level of vulnerability.”
“People love doing things for me. I love receiving.”
“If you cut off the receiving, it kills the whole cycle - the balance of giving and receiving - and it kills joy.”
“You don’t get what you don’t ask for.”
“Asking is an act of love for another person.”
“The words and metaphors we use determine our outlook in life, so the word ‘needy’ is sticky for me.”
“Prayer is simply asking for help.”
“Fear, anxiety, anger, dependency are all present during moments of our deepest vulnerability.”
“Asking takes courage.”
Original Art by Meg Miller
References from the episode:
Happythankyoumoreplease movie
For further exploration, we loved this book:
The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
by #amandapalmer and #BreneBrown
#personalpower #receiving #33percent
#powerofasking #needy #softening #prayer #vulnerability #gratitude #health
#podcastersofinstagram #podcastinglife #applepodcasts #spotifypodcasts #personalgrowth #selfdevelopment #selfhelp #positivevibes
#mindsetpodcast #personaldevelopmentpodcast
#podcastaddict #femalepodcasters #spiritualwarrior
#useyourgifts #youaremorethanyouthink #thinkingofyou #selflove #trust
#spreadinglove #motivationeveryday
#Evesdropping #startyourevolutionbaby
Episode 2.4: The Evolution of Boundaries
Emily and Meg go round two on boundaries. They discuss what they’ve learned about what boundaries they need, how to express them, and how to manage the feelings that come with that new power.
“Lack of clear boundaries are the root of all of our dysfunction.”
“We can not state our intentions, manifest our intentions until we clear some really deep behavioral patterns that are driven by the boundaries that we were taught as children in order to belong in our family as a survival mechanism.”
“Knowing your own values, trusting your intuition, not doing things out of obligation, sharing with others who have earned your trust are just a start of working with boundaries.”
“Anxiety or overthinking are some immediate signs that our boundaries are not clear - either with our self or others.”
“When my boundaries are working, I feel light and straight as an arrow.”
“When you take action, however small, that moves you out of victim mode.”
“In delivering boundaries, remember to be honest by giving them a reason, and then keep the communication to the fewest words possible.”
“Boundaries are the gateway to healthy relationships and way we take care of ourselves.”
References from the episode:
#BreneBrown
#selfcarewarrior
For further exploration, we loved this book:
by Shahida Arabi MA and Andrea Schneider
*****Original Art by Meg Miller*****
If you need help communicating with a high-conflict co-parent, please take Emily’s course on Udemy:
https://www.udemy.com/course/high-conflict-co-parenting-communication-course/
#boundaries #personalpower #boundariesbadass #healthyrelationships #settingboundaries #recovery #toxicrelationships
#podcastersofinstagram #podcastinglife #applepodcasts #spotifypodcasts #personalgrowth #selfdevelopment #selfhelp
#mindsetpodcast #personaldevelopmentpodcast
#podcastaddict #femalepodcasters #spiritualwarrior
#useyourgifts #youaremorethanyouthink #thinkingofyou #selflove
#spreadinglove #motivationeveryday
#Evesdropping #startyourevolutionbaby
Episode 2.3: Dropping Playing Small
Episode 2.2: Dropping Resistance
Emily & Meg discuss their resistance to their feelings of letting go. They talk about how the mind wants to repress, suppress, deny, or make stories up about why certain feelings are there and how they are working on letting go.
“The emotions that we all feel can be calibrated numerically on a vibrational scale - the highest one isn’t love, it’s peace. The lowest one isn’t fear, it’s shame.”
“When you do deep healing, a lot of times you can’t find the stories again, but let it go. Don’t even fucking try to remember the stories.”
“What is the payoff from this story? Is that payoff/vanity keeping me in the story?”
“In a ‘desire/craving’ state, we are operating in a lack state, not a relaxed and trusting state.”
“Surrender is simply- it is ok if it happens and it is ok if it doesn’t.”
“You can’t stop others from hurting by hurting yourself for them. There is no value in that.”
References from the episode:
Heal (Netflix Documentary) Featuring – Deepak Chopra, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Married at First Sight
Oprah
For further exploration, we loved this book:
Letting Go - The Pathway to Surrender by David Hawkins
Original Art by Meg Miller
#podcastersofinstagram #podcastinglife #applepodcasts
#spotify #anchorfm #spotify #spotifypodcasts #personalgrowth #selfdevelopment #selfhelp #habits
#lettinggo #divineintervention #ridethewave #simple #letthatshitgo #vibrationalenergy #twelvesteps #vibratehigher #incrementalrelease #detachment #takingontoomuchresponsiblity
Episode 2.1: Dropping Being a Pleasure Seeker
Episode 7: Dropping the Shame Around Embarrassing Moments
Emily & Meg share tales of their biggest faux pas and embarrassing moments. Bringing these stories out from the shadows for all the world to hear, and laughing at themselves in the process, takes grace and vulnerability. While they may have many regrets, the stories live on to remind us we are human, we are all works-in-progress.
“Never get rid of a pair of shoes you love even though they repeatedly try to kill you.”
“Never try to be sexy and cover yourself with Baby Oil after a long day in the sun and drinking alcohol.”
“Never wear white after shoving an Andes Mint there.”
“Never eat fish tacos on a first date.”
“ I had to sit on a windbreaker.”
“Always tell your teacher, “Yes, call my mother.”
“Always have thicker jeans on everywhere you go. Carry an extra pair in a bag. Then, you’ve got both ends covered.”
“Toxic shock syndrome in so many ways.”
“7/11 doesn’t judge.”
References from the episode:
TED TALKS
7/11
Andes Mints
Original Art by Meg Miller
Episode 6: Dropping Our Old Wounds: Welcoming Transformation
*Trigger Warning: CHILD ABUSE
Emily & Meg talk through how they recognize they are ready to shift and transform to the next level. Meg opens up about her childhood and how her past shows up in her life today, even though she has done the work on healing this trauma for years.
“There are signs that you are being called to transform to the next level - like shedding clothes that no longer fit you. You may have this urge to clean out your closet."
“When I start crying that deep sadness, I let myself go there. It’s like taking a shower from the inside out.”
“You are not responsible for the hurt that was put on you, but you are responsible for healing yourself from it.”
“The perpetrator is in me, so the healer must be in me too. Otherwise, I am going to carry this pain around with me for the rest of my life."
“We might avoid transformation because this is hard stuff. That’s why we avoid it. It brings us stuff that we have pushed away for so long.”
References from the episode:
The Silence of the Lambs
Mark Manson
Fierce Compassion
For further exploration, we loved this book:
Loving Bravely by Alexandra H. Soloman, PhD
Original Art by Meg Miller
#transformation #surrender #shame #selfcompassion #childhoodtrauma #intuition #power #selflove #awareness #witnessing #healing #podcaster #podcastersofinstagram #podcastinglife #podcastingcommunity #anchorfm #spotify #spotifypodcast #applepodcasts #personalgrowth #selfdevelopment#selfhelp #selflove #selfcare #motivation #mentalhealth #inspiration #personaldevelopment #mindfulness #selfimprovement #healing #mindset #personalgrowth #lifecoach #quotes #selfdevelopment #anxiety #positivity #success #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #motivationalquotes #spirituality #loveyourself #happiness #selfhelpbooks #psychology #life #positivevibes #selfawareness #wellbeing
Episode 5: Dropping Toxic Relationships
Emily & Meg explore what is at the root of toxic relationships. They examine why they feel a pull toward them in their personal life and the two tips they use to recognize when they are dealing with a toxic person: tuning in to our bodies after an interchange & journaling the objective facts and the “story” I have created about this person/relationship.
“We all have traits of these toxic patterns within us. But the difference is that we are self-aware and curious about them.”
“What you didn’t get from your parents, the ways we didn’t get witnessed by them, we now seek in our partner.”
“It feels like me grasping instead of being in my power.”
“Sometimes we meet toxic people in life who teach us lessons, depending on how self-aware we are. Then it's time to move on"
“We are actually two people - the child within and the parent. We now have the power to get out of our victim/story mode”
“If you check-in with yourself after an interaction and you feel drained, exhausted, or polluted, that’s a sign you just had a toxic interchange.”
“If I just study more, read more, it becomes a protection measure and another perfectionistic tendency….it’s a self-correcting tendency, which blocks us from tuning in.”
“We are primed by movies and the cultural implications of those and we grow up to think about toxic foreplay as romantic.”
“Seeking what we need from the wrong people is due to something in us we need to heal. What is the original source of that drive?"
“Maybe you aren’t a ‘loser’ because you attract toxic relationships. It might be that you are amazing at relationships. It’s not just as simple as: you want something from them emotionally. They want something from you, too"
“I am going to look at my responsibility and see if i can change the dynamic. But sometimes you have to just get the f*ck away from these people without feeling guilty.”
“As soon as the word ‘should’ comes out of your mouth, then you know you "should" be checking-in with yourself.”
“Instead of saying ‘should’ say ‘could.’”
References from the episode:
“Opposites Attract” by Paula Abdul
“Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places” by Johnny Lee
Nicola Tesla
Inner Bonding
Epigenetics
Bonobos Monkeys
Tyler Shulz
“Tricky” by RunDMC
For further exploration, we loved this book:
The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Dealing with Toxic People: How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators by Shahida Arabi, MA
Original Art by Meg Miller
Episode 4: Dropping the Myths Around Spirituality - Finding Our Personal Relationship with "God"
Emily & Meg explore their internalized beliefs around the religion of their youth, how they connect to their spirituality now, and wonder how life would be different if we had balancing female imagery for God.
“Santa Claus, God, and The President”
“I was raised with my religion telling me how to think about God. It didn’t work for me.”
“What if young Mary held a baby girl?”
“There really are no rules. Religion tells us how to relate to God, but it’s really a personal relationship.”
“We ignore our natural intelligence and allow it to be controlled and corrupted.”
“You have to see it to be it.”
“We just accept things instead of examining these hand-me-down beliefs.”
“How does our natural intelligence relate to finding our spirituality?”
“If we were to surrender, it would open up the pathway to a higher power.”
“Are psychedelics being pushed as the next ritual for us to connect spiritually?”
“We are talking about Spirituality, which is subjective, versus organized religion, which is a prescribed way to make you feel spiritual.”
References from the episode:
Girl God Books
Indiana Jones
The Holy Bible by Adam Broomberg & Oliver Chanarin
Notre Dame
Damien Hirst
Genesis 3:16
Liquid Geography Wine
For further exploration, we loved this book:
The Dance of the Dissident Daughter - A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine by Sue Monk Kidd
Episode 3: Dropping the Illusion of Control - Diving into Surrender
Emily & Meg explore the pushback of asserting ourselves/telling our truth unapologetically and analyze what “bitch” really means. They examine what surrender means, how they use it in their life, and how perfectionism plays a role in the illusion of control.
“Can we let go of that worry because it compromises our authenticity, and when we care more about the outcome, and what they think of us. We care more about being defensive and protective instead of telling our truth.”
“A lot of people see surrender as giving up or relinquishing control.”
“When we surrender, we get better guidance about what steps we should take. Surrendering is clearing the path for ourselves to get clarity, serenity, and just not feel all the triggers all the time.”
“Suffering makes us into a seeker.”
“The magic drops in when we surrender into the unknown, into not having all the answers.”
“When you surrender, how does it feel in your body? There is lightness in the unknown.”
“Is there a reason for everything or do I make stories fit in hindsight?”
“We are all manifestations of God, so when we surrender, we tap into that higher power within us. It’s such a powerful FORCE.”
References:
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
Star Wars
For further exploration, we loved this book:
The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
Episode 2: Dropping the Confusion Around Boundaries
Emily & Meg share how confusing it is to set boundaries when they weren't used to using them, what to expect from themselves and others when they do set them, and how to read their bodies to recognize when they need a better boundary.
“Boundaries are traffic signals to keep things moving freely, flowing, or yielding.”
“Two factors that have to do with healthy boundaries: radical honesty and authority.”
“You need clarity with who you are, what you deserve...what your worth is to have authority, to not give your power away.”
“We want them to be who WE want them to be instead of who they ACTUALLY are. This requires honesty with OURSELVES.”
“When you stop giving so much, you open up space to receive.”
“Expect disruption in relationships where you change your boundaries. Prepare for the pushback.”
“Our bodies are always telling us when we are off course.”
“The computer brain will try to keep us from making a hard decision.”
References in this episode:
Create The Love - Mark Groves
For further exploration, we loved this book:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Original Art by Meg Miller
And if you loved this episode, please remember to leave us a review & follow us on IG: evesdropping_podcast
Episode 1: Dropping the Inner-Critic: How Do We Learn Self-love
Emily & Meg explore their inner-critics and tips on how they practice self-love.
“I don’t know how this is going to be perceived but not my business.”
“The story I’m telling myself about what you said is this…”
“What story are you keeping alive right now? What are my stories that are causing my pain?”
"Men and women are taught different rules about failing."
“Is my niceness used to manipulate others’ perception of me?”
“Am I chasing my self-worth or is this choice rooted in my self-worth?”
"How can my privilege be used in service to others?"
“Did I give you an erection, Emily?”
“The Guru is you.”
References from the episode:
The Social Dilemma Movie
Byron Katie - How to Do the Work
For further exploration, we loved this book:
The Inner Bonding Workbook by Margaret Paul
INTRO Outtakes!
Please laugh with us.
Start Here: Meet Emily & Meg
Emily & Meg host EvesDropping.
Emily is an English professor, blogger, writer, & mother.
Meg is an Energy Healer, interior designer, artist & mother.
Together, they process their most embarrassing secrets, juiciest revelations, & lightbulb moments on-air.