Filled to Flourish

We promised we would do some teaching on the mixed states of the nervous system- so here is an entire episode on it! 🌿we review the 3 primary states of the nervous system🌿introduce the 3 mixed states (play, stillness and freeze)🌿differentiate between freeze and shut down🌿the goal of nervous system regulation🌿touch on the importance and role of the vagal break🌿explain how to expand your regulation capacity through beauty🌿share how we’ve personally grown to experience the states of play and stillness more in the last few years....and more!

We hope this helps expand your understanding of your nervous system and those around you!

You can also watch this episode in video format on our YouTube channel.

A regulated nervous system has an important role in a healthy and connected sex life. In this episode we explore how the NS is needed in the 4-stage sexual arousal cycle, how cues of safety and cues of threat play into sexual engagement and the aspect of novelty in a sexual relationship. We are excited to introduce the "M.A.P. of Sexual Responsiveness", a model we created to help guide couples to deepen their sexual connection and pleasure. This episode has A LOT in it -- go slowly if needed. Find us on social and let us know your thoughts or questions once you have listened!

"Many abuse, assault, or trauma survivors experience The Second Wound when they disclose their experiences: a combination of disbelief, minimization, shaming, victim-blaming, silencing, and ostracism." In this episode we talk with Miranda Pacchiana of The Second Wound, and explore the dynamics of this gut-wrenching re-traumatization, how to prevent yourself from unknowingly causing this harm, as well as how to begin to heal from the second wound. We discuss childhood sexual abuse, and the issue of consent, arousal and memory related to this form of abuse. If you are survivor of the second wound, you are sure to leave this episode feeling so affirmed and understood. Some listeners may even feel compelled to reach out to those that they have unintentionally harmed with their minimization, shaming or ostracism. Understanding the second wound is so vitally important for the individual and collective healing of the traumas of our stories. Please share this episode with others who have gone through subsequent harm after their initial abuse as it is a lonely and confusing road to walk. Miranda Pacchiana, MSW is a writer, personal coach, creator of the website The Second Wound, and host of the podcast Truth and Consequences. She writes and speaks about recovery from abuse, family estrangement, parenting, and grief, among other topics. A survivor of child sexual abuse, Miranda applies the lessons she learned through the traumatic events in her own life to provide comfort, information, and support to others. She works and lives in Sandy Hook, Connecticut. You can find her on: Instagram @thesecondwound, Twitter @SecondWound, Facebook @SecondWound, Website https://secondwound.com/

Today on the podcast we share our interview with the lovely Julia + Jeremiah of @sexvangelicals on the intersection of high-control religions and sexuality. We explore:🎙How to establish safety around sex and conversing about sex 🎙How relationships require a challenge of your sexuality in a way that not being in a relationship doesn’t 🎙How high-control religions prescribe a lens of fear and how this can hinder you from asking questions, being in tune with your desires, exploration, playfulness and pleasure🎙How sex therapy is not glamorous, rather always includes grief and loss 🎙How patriarchal views are incompatible with genuine intimacy 🎙Approaching sexual “dysfunction” diagnoses from the root in a supportive, partnered way…..and more! We think these conversations are a much-needed, unfortunately over-due addition to the mess of information out there that is largely religiously and culturally driven. GUESTS: Jeremiah Gibson and Julia Postema are the co-hosts of the podcast Sexvangelicals: The Sex Education the Church Didn't Want You to Have. They are both licensed psychotherapists in Massachusetts, and certified sex therapists. They are currently living in Utrecht, the Netherlands for the next 18 months to do three of their favorite things--travel, hike, and eat amazing foods. You can learn more about them on IG @sexvangelicals.

We asked Clinician Andrew Bauman to join us as we attempt to explore this landmine topic mindfully and truthfully. While more are becoming "abuse-informed" it is still incredibly common for couples and helpers alike to feel very unsure how to identify these dynamics in themselves, their spouses, or who they're working with. Andrew shares with refreshing honestly what he looks for as he helps couples in his practice, and how he navigates what he finds.

This episode is only intended to be informative, and we encourage you to seek out a qualified abuse-informed, trauma-informed practitioner to help you navigate this for your individual situation.

Andrew J. Bauman is the Founder & Director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) He is a licensed mental health counselor with a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Andrew is the author of How Not to Be an *SS, The Sexually Healthy Man, Floating Away, Stumbling Toward Wholeness, The Psychology of Porn, and (with his wife Dr. Christy Bauman) the book A Brave Lament and award-winning film. You can find him at ChristianCC.org & Andrewjbauman.com or on facebook @andrewjamesbauman

Join us for this episode-with-a-twist! Lauren randomly pulls from a hat 2 distinct therapy modalities, and Luke jumps in with an on-the-spot explanation of how they are connected. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It's a helpful episode if you are in the trauma healing world (personally or professionally) and are trying to better understand how these worlds connect. We have a tendency to learn through what we already know, to understand what is new, so hopefully that is what we are offering to you here!  Check out our site FlourishTherapy.co if you'd like to learn more about our offerings.

In this latest episode we have a WONDERFUL chat with Bethany, the new mental health practitioner @flourish_therapy! 

In the first half we ask a bunch of fun questions so you call get to know her and the lovely human that she is. 

Then we delve into some questions about therapy.  It's like a refreshing drink from the wellspring of insight and goodness she offers! 

We hope you enjoy this time getting to know Bethany and hearing each of our hearts about this special work we do. 

If you are looking for a partner in your trauma healing journey, please contact us via www.flourishtherapy.co to connect with Bethany!

Parenting can be one of the most dysregulating relationships and there are SUCH legitimate reasons why! We've invited parenting coach Lelia Schott from @leliaschott_synergyparenting on the podcast to explore what it is about parenting that makes you so vulnerable to dysregulation, how to better understand yourself as a parent, creating safety for yourself amidst the triggers of parentings, and how to cultivate a healing relationship with yourself and your child. You will find Lelia to be such a tender, encouraging soul, and we know this episode will be a breath of fresh air to weary parents.   Lelia is a Trauma-Informed Counsellor, NeuroEmotional Practitioner, and a Certified Parent Coach. She is a South African living in a small coastal town in Cape Town with her family. Lelia’s children turn 26, 24, 22, 19, 12, and 9 this year. She loves swimming in the cold ocean and walking in the fynbos mountains. As a family, they are dedicated to softening the hurting and strengthening the healing for generations to come. Find her at https://www.leliaschott.com/ and on IG @leliaschott_synergyparenting   🌿 Lauren + Luke @flourish_therapy 

One of our 5 pillars of healing is "slowing down", and we have a wonderful interview for you with someone who has been intentionally cultivating the "slow life" for many years. Jodi shares, "I think we don't know what we're missing. Slow down and your passions will start coming out. You'll start seeing people in front of you in a totally different way. Your world will come alive!" With modern life so often running at a break neck speed, most everyone can  benefit from slowing down their pace and prioritizing their true desires for their life. We've found when people can customize what the "slow life" looks like for them, they deepen their healing of the mind and body.  Jodi Grubbs is a slow living advocate and lover of deep conversation over coffee. She lives outside of Raleigh, NC and shares a 1952 bungalow with her husband and teen daughter. As a former island girl, she is passionate about coming alongside women who long for that shift to slower living. She's a writer & the host of Our Island in the City Podcast, where she love conversing with guests about slowing down, faith, ordinary soul care and deep community. Her forthcoming book with IVP will release Spring of 2024. You can find her on IG @jodi.grubbs and on her site-  http://www.jodigrubbs.com/ 

This episode should have happened already- but we're just now getting to it! The episode all about nervous system REGULATION. We explore the 3 primary nervous system states (safe + social, sympathetic and shut down) including what they feel like, what is happening on a biological level and what the body might need in these different states. We share a few helpful ways to easily remember the states, as well as the life-changing concept of "story follows state".  We even delve into our own personal default states and how these impact our marriage relationship. While certainly not comprehensive, this episode will for sure give you a deeper understanding of regulation and your body! Which has the potential to impact practically every area of your life.  Click on our about section to follow us on social media or visit our website www.flourishtherapy.co.

In this special episode Lauren lets you in to the private spaces of her story with chronic illness.  She details the slow evolution of her failing health, the impact on herself, her marriage and family, and what ultimately propelled her into the healing modality of brain retraining.  When she began brain retraining she had 70+ symptoms, multiple diagnoses, was down to eating only 10 foods, and had spent tens of thousands of dollars to get better. The first half of the episode is the time before she began brain retraining, while the second is her exciting process of recovery once she attended on program on brain retraining.  Analogous to a wild, unknown trek in the outdoors, Lauren's story is teeming with heartache, physical suffering, trauma, ups and downs, healing and restored joy.   The brain retraining program she originally did can be found at www.retrainingthebrain.com.   If you want to work with Lauren and Luke to rewire from chronic illness and pain, check out the "Flourish Signature Program" at their site:  www.flourishtherapy.co

There is a uniquely devastating effect of being betrayed and harmed by leaders of faith.  Ryan Ramsey so poignantly shares what contributes to the formation of environments where this type of harm is so pervasive, and how this deeply impacts a person's identity, worldview, mental health and faith. Join us for this sobering and worthwhile conversation on betrayal, grief and healing.  Ryan Ramsey (M. Div) is a writer, chaplain, & soul care provider who focuses in the areas of religious abuse advocacy and grief support. He’s published in places such as Ekstasis Magazine and Fathom Magazine. You can follow him on social media at @rramseywrites and he also writes regularly on Substack.

The field of Interpersonal Neurobiology teaches that the reasons you are feeling stuck relationally and personally as an adult, is very likely to have its roots in how your nervous system developed in those early years of your life. The evidence is mounting, and many are finding they can no longer ignore these realities churning beneath the surface of their lives. Join us as we sift through WHY our younger years have such a powerful impact on our adulthood, WHAT it can look like and HOW to move forward with this hard-to-accept knowledge. If you are interested in joining our online therapy group Regulate + Recover for Unhealthy Childhoods- message us or click the link in our Instagram bio. We would love to have you! 

Do the relationships and systems you are a part of promote healthy commitment or toxic loyalty? Join us as we explore these distinctly different types of relationship, and discover the insidious nature of toxic loyalty masquerading as healthy commitment. We share what characterizes both, and the powerful question you can ask regarding reciprocity. This episode is a deep dive as we explore culture, systems, "covenant" relationships, coercive conditioning, how homogenous groups tend to promote toxic loyalty and how to empower yourself to make choices that honor your well-being.

"When people in positions of power create a system where there has to be agreement, sameness and loyalty they are exploiting the genuine needs that people have to be attached and to belong."

This episode we had the opportunity to talk with Dr. Camden Morgante again, this time about male and female "gender roles", sexism and the ideology of patriarchy. We explore the continuums within complementarianism and egalitarianism thought, as well as the fruit of such systems. Dr. Camden explains the difference between benevolent sexism vs hostile sexism. We share some personal anecdotes of being judged when we didn't fit into the "traditional gender role" categories. Lots of great nuggets in this episode, we hope you enjoy it! | Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist and former college professor. She writes and speaks about relationships, sexuality, and faith and is a regular contributor to Christians for Biblical Equality’s blog Mutuality. She is currently writing a book on the myths of purity culture. Camden also provides Coaching services for purity culture recovery, egalitarianism, and faith reconstruction. Camden lives in Knoxville, TN with her husband, their daughter and son, and two rescue dogs. Website: www.drcamden.com IG: www.instagram.com/drcamden FB: www.facebook.com/drcamden Twitter: www.twitter.com/doctorcamden

Join us for the last webinar in our "Finding Your Way Back" series!  In this webinar we explore the concept and practice of EMBODIMENT.  What embodiment is. What the opposite of embodiment is. How we become cut off from our bodies. Barriers to developing an embodied sense of self. How trauma impacts how embodied we are. The benefits of embodiment. How embodiment helps us heal....and more! If you're just checking in to this series, make sure you take a listen to the other 4 Pillars of Healing.   If you'd like to work with us 1-on-1, check out our services at www.flourishtherapy.co.

This is our 5th episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. Here we explore the concept and practice of "slowing down". Why slowing down feels bad. Barriers to slowing down. P.A.U.S.E. Our pace + the NS. The benefits of slowing down. How slowing down helps us heal. The invitation of slowing down. This is the 4th of Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. We will share about the last pillar next week. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube or on IG.  The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF", and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30".

This is our 3rd episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. This is all about BEAUTY.  The anatomy of beauty. The purpose of beauty. How trauma disconnects us from beauty. The invitation of beauty. The benefits of beauty....and more!  We hope you enjoy and you FEEL an accessible invitation to enter more deeply into goodness and beauty.  This is the 2nd in Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF". and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30". 

This is our 2nd episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. 

This is all about ACCEPTANCE. 

Why acceptance matters for healing.

What to/not to accept.

The place for storywork + grief in acceptance.

The VERY BEST part of acceptance.

How acceptance (and lack of) affects the nervous system.

This is the 1st pillar in Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. 

If you'd like to checkout the presentation with slides: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-roPAJYxUA 

If you want to join our next webinar live, and have access to the Q&A, join us Thursday April 21st, 9 PM EST. Sign up in the link: https://www.flourishtherapy.co/findingyourwaybackwebinar?r_done=1 

Limited time discount codes for 3-Month Signature Program: 30%OFF, or 2.5 Day Intensive"INTENSIVE30"