Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast

This week, Ali & Roark cover listener questions in a Hot Topics episode. They start with a question about friends who choose to stay friends with your ex. Then, they tackle a question about disclosing *your own* red flags. And they conclude with a Dating Mythbusters question – do men just decide they’re ready one day? During the Updates portion, Roark accidentally hard launches Lots of Dogs, and Ali has a fabulous date with the Disco Ball!

Timestamps: Topic Talk begins at around 22:00

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She blinded us with science! Ali & Roark are joined by Dr. Abby Medcalf – a psychologist who tells them all about how the brain affects our relationships. The focus of the conversation is closure – what is it, why do we want it, and how can we get – but Abby goes much further and they probably could have talked for hours because she is so darn lovely and interesting. During Updates, Roark recounts an epic Phone Throwing Moment in her friend-group group chat, and Ali goes on a first date and gives a Disco Ball status report.

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 27:00

Where to find Abby: at her website https://abbymedcalf.com/about/

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark are joined by Desiree Simone this week to talk about dating after divorce and dating a partner who has kids. As is par for the course, they bite off more than they can chew, and the three mainly discuss dating after divorce. First, Desiree shares her own story. Then, she offers perspective on sharing your divorce story with a new partner, and, if you’re dating someone who is divorced, how to discuss it with them without being invasive. For the first time in a while Ali and Roark both have first dates lined up this week. Roark’s guy is a blast from the past, while Ali’s unfolds live on air!

Timestamps: Desiree joins for Weird or Nah and Topic Talk at around 23:00

Where to find Desiree: Listen to her podcast Break Bottles, Not Hearts anywhere you listen to podcasts, on Instagram @iamdsimone and on TikTok @_iamdesiree

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

It has been a minute since Ali & Roark did a Grab Bag episode and they are excited to bring it back! In this round of Grab Bag questions, they tackle dating as an introvert, breaking up with someone you live with, whether an age gap is too much to overcome in dating and many more! But first, it’s the updates - Roark gets Googled before a first date and Ali gets blocked!

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk at around 26:30

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

This week, Ali & Roark have Meghan Wainwright on the podcast to share her experience being lovebombed. She talks about what it felt like to experience a “whirlwind” romance and the moments that gave her pause and the red flags she should have seen more clearly. And the three discuss how Meghan approaches dating differently now and how to call out a lovebomber. During updates, Roark is looking at her flaws and Ali heard from … the ROWER.

Timestamps: Meghan joins the show for Weird or Nah and Topic Talk at around 24:10.

Where to find Meghan: On TikTok and Instagram @theblondeinpink and listen to her podcast Main Character Moment

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark dive into the five love languages this week! Although this isn’t a series, this is a big topic and they will definitely revisit it, so please send in your questions if you have any. They walk through the five different love languages, then discuss the utility of the framework, its shortcomings, and their own experiences sharing their love languages and receiving their partners’. During their updates, Ali gives the full story of the end of the Rower, and Roark talks about dating in Dallas.

Timestamp: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk beings at around 33:00

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

This week, Ali & Roark cover listener questions in a Hot Topics episode. They start with a question about dating burn out from solid first dates that don't turn into seconds dates. Then, they read a dating-app screenshot where the listener is curious about how she should react to a match’s sexual opening message. And they conclude with a discussion of a listener’s situationship. But before all that, Roark reveals how the first date she was excited for went, and Ali checks in emotionally about where she’s at with The Rower.

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 35:10

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

It’s part two of Ali & Roark’s breakup series. This time they’re discussing what it’s like to be the one initiating the breakup. They start by discussing the difficulty of knowing whether your relationship problems are “normal” or “breakup worthy.” And then analyze how to end things with someone as kindly as possible – is there an ideal time, location, or mode of communication? But first, Ali gets vulnerable and shares her story of New Year’s Eve with The Rower, and Roark has her first first date back on the scene.

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 25:45

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark start off this week’s episode with some huge personal updates – buckle up! Then, they continue their discussion of anxiety in dating from early dates to during a relationship. They cover a huge range of topics including how to share your needs, how to self-soothe, when to bring your partner into your anxiety and ask them for help, and how to manage anxious feelings about being on the same page. Ali and Roark share personal anecdotes of experiences that have made them anxious – accidentally giving each other new things to worry about – and how they reframe their thoughts to feel calmer.

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 29:00

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark start to tackle a big topic this week: feeling anxious. Dating can (and does) frequently cause anxious thoughts and feelings, so Ali & Roark start the multi-episode series by discussing some tried-and-true anxiety management strategies they use. Then, they discuss the situations leading up to a first date that make listeners anxious ranging from wondering if their date will find them attractive to stressing about finding a parking spot. First, Ali is on vacation again (can you believe it!), and Roark seeks her advice on making birthday plans with the Classmate. As a note, Roark’s audio is not up to our usual standard, sorry about that!

Timestamps: Topic Talk begins at around 22:15

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

This episode is filled with lightbulb moments as Ali & Roark are joined by relationship therapist Charisse Cooke. And they promise they don’t *totally* derail the Q&A with Charisse by making it a personal therapy sesh. Charisse covers a ton of ground and answers listener questions such as how to handle having doubts about your partner, how to get what you need from a relationship, and how to set boundaries in a gentle way. In the updates section, Roark shares her feelings about not being able to see the Classmate for a bit, and Ali is in much better spirits after a great third date.

Timestamps: Charisse joins the podcast for Weird or Nah and Topic Talk at around 21:40

Where to find Charisse: her website - https://charissecooke.com/ and her Instagram - @thecharissecooke

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, Ali & Roark are here this week to discuss a very timely topic: meeting the family. When’s the “right time” to meet someone’s family? Should you bring a gift? What if your relationship to your family isn’t exactly stellar? They answer these questions along with many more and share horror and success stories of their own. In the updates section, Ali gets vulnerable and lets the listeners in on some of her anxious feelings, and Roark recaps her New York visit. Also, this episode has a particularly fun feel as most of it was recorded when Ali & Roark were together in person!

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 23:20

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

How can you navigate dating multiple people before becoming exclusive with someone? Ali & Roark talk through the logistics and emotions of that early-dating phase. Topics include, how to tell someone you’re still open to dating others (and whether you have to), running into someone you’re dating while on another date, and how to manage your attachment. Before that, Ali reveals she is invested in a new guy, and Roark has been sick.

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 22:20

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark are joined by special guest Kirstie Taylor this week to dive more deeply into attachment theory and answer listener questions. Kirstie, a dating and relationship writer who authored the book What I Wish I Knew About Love, drops about 83 insightful bombs this episode as the three women discuss their own attachment journey, and answer questions about anxious-avoidant couples, how to move towards being more secure, and many more! In the updates portion, Roark is dealing with the Classmate’s social double-booking, and in a weird or nah and update crossover, Ali reveals a conundrum she’s had with the Threepeat and gets Kirstie’s advice on the matter.

Timestamps: Kirstie joins the show for Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 24:45

Here are all the ways to find Kirstie! Her website: https://www.kirstietaylor.com. Her TikTok: @kirstietaylorr. Her Instagram: @wordswithkirstie

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

After being asked many times to discuss this topic, Ali & Roark are finally talking about attachment styles. This is the first of two dedicated episodes on the topic. This week, they define each attachment style, discuss where their styles came from, and share a few anecdotes about navigating dating through an attachment-style lens. Also, they take an attachment quiz and analyze their results – you can take it too at: https://dianepooleheller.com/attachment-test/. In the updates portion of the podcast, Ali talks about how she’s feeling after another fun date with Threepeat, and Roark drops the L-Bomb!

Timestamps: Topic Talk begins at around 30:40

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

It’s the social media sequel! This time around, Ali & Roark talk about how to navigate social media pitfalls while in a relationship and after a break-up. For example, how to handle a partner who refuses to post photos of you. When (if ever) to delete photos of your now ex. And whether you should block your ex. Before addressing these questions, and many more, Ali talks about BEING IN FRANCE (yes, we all are very jealous) and Roark talks about balancing her new job with her relationship.

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begin at around 23:00

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

This week, Ali & Roark tackle how social media affects early dating. Is it weird if someone doesn’t have social media? How do you handle someone asking for your social media handle before you’ve gone on even one date? And once you’re ready, do you need to discuss posting your new partner on the grid? First, Ali gives an update on the Aussie and shares about the latest potential matchmaker date while Roark complains about how tired she is.

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begin at around 23:00

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

It’s another Grab Bag week where Ali & Roark take your questions submitted to @findingmrheight on Instagram. This round, topics include: how to move forward after a break up, dating in a new city, and setting boundaries in a new relationship. Before they answer questions, Roark discusses communicating her needs within her relationship and Ali fends off TikTok trolls regarding a text interaction with The Aussie.

Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begin at around 27:30

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

This week, Ali & Roark are thrilled to welcome Jonah Feingold (@jonahfeingold) back on the pod! They had the pleasure of watching Dating & New York – Jonah’s debut movie as writer and director – and then getting to chat with him about it. Jonah shares about his creative process, tells an incredible casting story, and discusses rom-com tropes. Before bringing Jonah on, Roark has a big personal update to share with the listeners and Ali continues on her matchmaker dates. Additionally, they weigh in on a couple listener questions: how to find dates who won’t react poorly to personal success; and when calling out a ghoster may not be the right call.

Timestamps: Listener Questions begin at around 29:30; Interview with Jonah begins at around 41:45. Distributed by IFC, Dating & New York opens in theatres and video on demand on Friday, September 10. Follow on IG @datingandnewyork and watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKfOZGfyrG8

Don't forget to join The Search Party at our Patreon for exclusive, additional podcast content: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark have a big one for you this week! First and foremost, they have launched a Patreon (cue the confetti)! If you want to become a Patron and have access to exclusive, additional podcast content as well as a private Discord channel head to this link: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. Thank you in advance for your support!! In this week's episode, not only do Ali & Roark have some exciting personal updates (which even required an emergency recording session to update the updates!), but they also welcome on the amazing Jenna Langbaum, author of Me in Search of You. Jenna's book is a unique approach to sharing stories of modern dating. In a collection of short stories, she highlights the complicated emotions and bizarre dating stories we all accumulate as we search for the one. You can find her on Instagram @jennalangbaum and you can find her book anywhere you purchase books! Timestamps: Interview with Jenna begins at approximately 34:30 If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark think you’ll enjoy this podcast only if you’re smart, cool, and can hold a conversation. Did that statement make alarm bells go off? It should, because it’s an example of negging! (And to be clear, we would never say that for real, we love you all!) This week’s topic is negging: the back-handed compliment aka an insult that unfortunately permeates dating. But first, Ali & Roark start the episode with their updates – including an epic phone-throwing moment on Roark’s part. Next, they recap the insanity of FBoy Island episodes 4 through 6. Finally, they talk about all the ways negging can appear in dating – from subtle to blatant and from dating profile to within a long-term relationship – and how to be aware of it and avoid those who do it.

Timestamps: FBoy Island recap begins at around 23:00; Topic Talk begins at around 40:45.

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

This week, Ali welcomes on Ilana Dunn of Seeing Other People (@seeingotherpeople) to co-host while Roark takes the bar. Ali has about a million personal updates this week ranging from ghosts to phone throwing moments. Then, Ali & Ilana get into how friendships impact dating relationships. For example: how to handle friends who don’t like your new person, and how to handle it when you don’t like your friend’s new person.

Topic Talk begins at approximately 25:00

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Have you ever been lovebombed? Would you like us to describe it to you? Well, Ali & Roark are here to do just that. Before Topic Talk, both Ali & Roark have dating updates to share this week! Then, they define lovebombing and talk about how tricky it can be to separate it from genuine affection and interest. Both share their own experiences being lovebombed and address how to set effective boundaries when you notice lovebombing behaviors.

Topic Talk begins at approximately 23:30

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

I think we got a situation, here! Well, a situationship that is. Ali & Roark delve into the messy topic of relationships that aren’t quite relationships, but they’re also totally relationships. We said it was messy! As usual, Ali & Roark share their personal updates including Ali’s fun first date and Roark’s CRIME story. Then, they tell stories of their own experiences with situationships and answer listener questions about them like how you can avoid getting into one, and how to voice your needs when you want more.

Topic Talk begins at approximately 26:20

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark finally finish the first date trilogy and address after the first date. How do you tell if you’re into someone enough for a second date? Who should send the first text? Should the text say thank you or something else? How much texting between dates is appropriate? Who should set up date two? They address all these questions and more!

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark have wanted to do an episode focused on LGBTQIA+ dating for a while now, and Pride Month felt like the perfect time! As always, they start with their updates. Ali is *accidentally* perpetrating CRIME and has an all-time phone throwing moment and Roark ran into an ex at a coffee shop. Then, they have two amazing guest segments. First, Ariella Serur, @queerdatingcoach on Instagram, comes on the pod to have both an insightful and fun conversation. Ariella tells Ali & Roark all about her work as (you guessed it) a queer dating coach. They discuss how queer daters don’t have a “map” or “playbook” of norms like heteronormative daters do, and Ariella shares her “four quadrants” for how to meet people. Then, Ali & Roark welcome in Roark’s friend Nicole, @nic_nak_cooks. Nicole is a gay woman dating in LA and brings wild stories from the dating front lines.

Timestamps: Ariella’s interview begins at around 23:20; Nicole joins at around 1:10:00

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark thought discussing the first date would be two episodes, but turns out it is a trilogy! In Episode 14 they covered everything before the date and in an upcoming episode they will tackle after the first date. But first, in this episode, they answer a bunch of listener questions about going on the first date itself. Topics include: how to keep a conversation going and how to end a date before it becomes a marathon hang. 

Timestamp: Topic Talk begins at about 25:00

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Ali & Roark are together this week for a second grab bag episode. You read that right - Ali & Roark are literally together! They had a blast recording this one in-person in New York. Both girls went on first dates this week (some more promising than others), and Ali received an apology text from an ex from five years ago. After sharing their updates, they take a bunch of listener questions.

On this episode Ali mentions her friend Brandon - the professional photographer who took our pictures. Follow him on Instagram @blhstudio

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

It's Ali & Roark's longest episode yet - and for good reason! They welcome on Ilana & Jonah, the duo behind the Seeing Other People podcast, to discuss everything surrounding being friends with an ex. The four swap stories of times they've attempted to remain friends with people they've dated. And they tackle several listener questions: such as the difference between being friends with someone after a couple dates versus a full-blown relationship, and how to set a boundary when someone you're dating is friends with an ex. Follow Ilana & Jonah @seeingotherpeople and download their podcast on your preferred app! 

If you want to send in a "weird or nah" suggestion, share your own phone throwing moment, ask a question, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast