The Good Mood Show with Matt O'Neill

Are you looking for practical strategies to help maintain a positive mood and thrive each day? In today’s episode, veteran life coach Derick Johnson shares his tips for implementing simple routines, social connections, and exercise to help you stay in a good place – mentally and physically.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Clearing the path to change

• Morning routines and self-care

• Managing emotions and finding calmness

• The power of asking better questions 

[02:00] Clearing the Path to Change: Eliminating What Doesn't Serve You

To make meaningful changes in your routine and overall well-being, start by examining and eliminating things that don't contribute positively to your everyday life, such as unhealthy relationships, digital distractions, and physical clutter. By creating space through this process, you take ownership of your energy and pave the way for a more fulfilling lifestyle.

[04:52] Morning Routines and Self-Care for a Successful Day

To set yourself up for a successful day, Derick emphasizes the importance of establishing a consistent morning routine that includes one activity for the body and one for the mind. Options such as exercising or going for a walk energize the body, while practices like visualization or meditation promote calmness and focus. Keeping the routine simple with just one or two activities prevents feeling drained. Self-care activities are also important such as prioritizing sleep, staying hydrated, and nourishing your body with nutritious meals to support overall well-being.

[17:18] Emotional Management: The Power of a 10-Minute Window

Derick introduces the concept of a "10-minute window" as a powerful tool for emotional release and self-regulation. Within this designated timeframe, you have the freedom to fully express your emotions, whether it involves shedding tears, venting frustrations, or finding solace in nature. By allowing yourself this brief but crucial period of emotional release, you regain control over your emotional state, breaking free from the cycle of constant highs and lows. 

[22:15] The Power of Asking Better Questions to Reduce Social Anxiety

When you shift your focus from yourself to the other person, it reduces your anxiety levels and alleviates the pressure to perform. Ask thought-provoking questions about their work, hobbies, recent challenges, or interesting experiences to pleasantly surprise them and move beyond mundane small talk, fostering genuine connections. 

Notable quotes:

[02:00] Get rid of something that is not serving you today [02:17]

[09:45] I'm going to create but I'm not going to consume. Create more, consume less. [09:49]

[24:02] Asking good questions is like a cheat code for anxiety nowadays. [24:05]

Resources Mentioned: 

Stress is actually what makes you happy. In this episode you will learn that the higher your level of stress, the higher your level of life satisfaction will be. The only caveat to this rule is that you must have hope in a bright future as you endure your stress for your life satisfaction to be high. 

In this episode, Matt is joined by Adam Roach, CEO of I Love Coaching as they discuss the incredible insights from the I Love Coaching Summit. Matt and Adam explore how stress does not have to be seen as a negative thing and can actually make us stronger when we learn to reframe our mindset. They also share valuable lessons about surrounding ourselves with uplifting people who support our personal growth.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• How Dr. Ryan Smith stepped into fear and embraced stress

• Why stress is good for you

• Auditing your who’s and how to find your who’s

• Lessons from John Maxwell

[07:03] Why Stress is Good for You

Stress, often seen as a negative force, can actually be a catalyst for personal growth and development. Research shows that reframing stress in a positive light can make you stronger, more resilient, and a better version of yourself. Engaging in activities that push you out of your comfort zone, such as public speaking, can lead to adaptation and the creation of new neural pathways that benefit you. Moreover, studies suggest that moderate stress, coupled with hope for a brighter future, can increase life satisfaction. Difficult challenges and stressors, while challenging to endure, have the potential to strengthen relationships and family units. Finally, stress can inspire innovation, foster creative thinking, and enhance leadership skills when faced with significant obstacles or changes. 

[15:45] Auditing Your Inner Circle: Building a Supportive Community for Growth

In order to create a supportive and uplifting environment, it's crucial to audit the people you surround yourself with. Find individuals who not only lend a listening ear and shoulder to lean on but also offer genuine support, just like Matt did. These are the people who will help lift you out of challenging situations and provide the guidance you need. However, before assessing your community, it's important to establish your overall vision. Whether it's happiness, personal growth, or strong family connections, defining your vision sets the foundation for your journey. As you evaluate the individuals in your circle, ask yourself: Are they lifting you up or dragging you down? Seek out a community that genuinely supports your goals and allows you to be authentic. 

Notable quotes:

[16:01] Audit your “who’s” – Surround yourself with individuals that you can share your shit with… to lift you up out of that shit or… to have a shoulder, to have an ear – and then help you. [16:16] 

[18:15] You should be auditing the people around you at all times [18:20] 

[18:28] What is the overall vision? And as you look at the people who are your community around you, are they, are they lifting you up?... Or are they holding you down? Are they a community that you can actually go to, be real authentic with? [18:43]

[31:36] Our purpose, though, from a spiritual standpoint, is to bring God's kingdom into everyone's world. And our assignment is our passion.  [31:43]

Resources Mentioned: 

Jane Goodall has been called the Mother Theresa of our environment. She has spent the last 60 years dedicated to protecting chimpanzees in the wild. Recently, Matt and his wife Katie had the opportunity to meet with Jane and ask her questions about making the world a better place. 

Jane shared stories about how her mother encouraged her to be curious and didn’t punish her for wanting to understand how the world worked, even when it got Jane into trouble. Matt and Katie share how these insights have shaped the way they wish to raise their four children. 

Jane’s message to Matt and Katie was also about hope for a bright future for the planet, but only if we act with urgency to address the issues facing all of us. Tune in to learn simple actions you and your family can take to help to protect the Earth. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• The power of curiosity and exploration

• Supporting your kids’ dreams and passions

• Showing up for family through difficult circumstances

• The importance of patience and understanding in parenting

• Jane Goodall's groundbreaking chimpanzee research and environmental activism

[02:56] Lessons From Her Mom

Jane Goodall's mother played a pivotal role in shaping her future as a renowned conservationist. She fostered Jane's curiosity, even when it led to minor inconveniences, and always encouraged exploration. She backed Jane's dreams, no matter how improbable they seemed, and never let fear of danger or inconvenience stifle her daughter's curiosity. Through thick and thin, she showed unwavering support, even accompanying Jane to Africa to live in an army tent. This nurturing environment cultivated Jane's enduring love for nature and animals, ultimately fueling her groundbreaking career in conservation.

[09:22] The Importance of Patience and Understanding in Parenting

In our fast-paced lives, it's crucial to slow down and fully comprehend the moments we're experiencing, especially with our children. Caught in the whirlwind of life, Katie recently found herself profoundly affected by Jane’s message, urging her to slow down and appreciate the present. She realized the potential harm in hastily reprimanding children during their moments of curiosity and exploration. These instances, though seemingly insignificant, are crucial to their growth, and this has prompted Katie to adopt a more patient and understanding approach towards parenting. 

[21:32] The Interconnectedness of Everything

Before Jane Goodall, the prevailing philosophy separated humans from the rest of nature. However, Goodall revolutionized this belief by promoting the concept of interconnectedness. She observed that humans, animals, and the environment are not distinct entities, but rather parts of a greater whole. Drawing parallels with Buddha's teachings, Goodall emphasized that the survival and prosperity of humans are intrinsically linked to the health of the animal kingdom and the planet itself.

Notable quotes:

[09:37] Any little situation or anytime we get upset with the children or fuss at them, we could be having some negative consequences. [09:44]

[22:00] We can't thrive if the animal world is dying. We can't thrive if the planet is dying. [22:08]

Resources Mentioned: 

Books, podcasts, and audiobooks can completely change your life. But not all methods for consuming the information are created equal. Have you ever considered how you can maximize the impact of the information you wish to receive from your books and podcasts?

In this episode, Matt sits down with Nick Hutchison, author of 'Rise of the Reader' and discusses how to get the most out of the time you spend reading books and learning from podcasts and audiobooks. Learn about effective note-taking, SMART intention setting, and the transformative power of accountability groups. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Setting intentions before reading

• Taking action on the intention through effective note-taking

• Strategies for effective reading and implementation

• Nick’s book recommendations and favorite quotes

• The power of accountability groups

[19:02] Setting Intentions and Taking Action

It's important to be clear on why you are reading a particular book and what you hope to get out of it. Intentions should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound (SMART). Write your specific intention down, such as "Find two strategies to improve my communication skills from this book by next Friday." This makes the goal clear. Having a strong intention and "why" behind it leads to greater retention and follow through on applying what you learn. Vague intentions like "learn something new" won't lead to clear action. Write your intention on the inside cover to stay focused. Also, be open to surprises as well because your understanding and goals may evolve as you read, leading to unexpected insights or applications.

[23:21] Effective Reading and Implementation

Avoid multitasking when reading a book. Reading, taking notes, and implementing those notes are separate activities that shouldn't be combined. During your reading session, mark points you want to revisit or note down, but keep reading. Afterward, rewrite those notes, focusing on those that can help fulfill your reading intention. Remember, repetition leads to retention, and retention prompts action, making it more likely for you to act on these rewritten notes. You can use platforms like Evernote, your phone's notes section, or a physical notebook for this purpose. Once the book is finished, review all your notes and apply the 80/20 principle. Identify the 20% of notes most likely to bring about the desired behavioral change.

[32:33] The Power of Accountability Groups

• Forming an accountability group with motivated individuals is a powerful strategy for turning information into action. This was inspired by Darren Hardy's The Compound Effect, advocating for tracking weekly activities. If a book provides a strategy to improve communication, set a goal and track its implementation, discussing progress with the group. The group then offers reminders, suggestions, and celebrates successes, embodying the idea that personal growth is influenced by our closest peers. This collective approach to reading and implementing strategies fosters mutual growth and fresh perspectives.

Notable quotes:

[24:04] Repetition leads to retention, retention leads to action. [24:16]

Resources Mentioned: 

Are you curious about the benefits of reducing alcohol? Discover why we often feel pressured to drink socially. Also, explore the surprising negative effects even moderate drinking can have on our health, particularly our brain and sleep. 

Join Matt O'Neill as he interviews James Swanwick, a former Hollywood correspondent turned alcohol-free lifestyle coach. Enjoy a lighthearted moment as James shares his hilarious encounter with Bradley Cooper, as well as some amazing transformations he's seen in people who have reduced their drinking. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Even moderate drinking destroys brain matter

• Social pressure to drink stems from ancient 'lizard brain' survival instinct

• Alcohol disrupts quality sleep and leaves you feeling foggy

• Removing visual alcohol cues and replacing with healthy cues aids reduction

• Stopping drinking allows more energy, money gains, and an enhanced experience of life

[05:38] The Reason Behind the Societal Pressure to Drink

James provides fascinating perspective on the existence of  social pressure to drink. He explained that thousands of years ago, humans lived in small tribes, and being ostracized from the tribe essentially meant death. Our "lizard brain" still holds onto that ancient survival instinct of needing acceptance from the group. Even though logically we know it's not true today, on an unconscious level many feel social rejection if they don't drink with others. This helps explain the resistance people feel to stopping drinking, as it triggers fears of being kicked out of their "tribe." Understanding this biological root of social pressure can help people feel empowered to choose their own path free from unnecessary influence.

[13:38] Even Moderate Drinking Destroys Your Brain Matter

Even moderate drinking of just one standard drink per night can destroy gray and white brain matter. James discussed a 2022 study of 35,000 middle-aged adults that found those who consumed this seemingly low amount of alcohol weekly showed brain degeneration. This challenges the common perception that casual, weekly drinking is harmless. It highlights how any level of regular alcohol consumption can physically impact the brain over time. This finding shows everyone should be aware of the risks even moderate drinking poses to cognitive health.

[18:50] The Benefits of an Alcohol-Free Lifestyle

• Living an alcohol-free lifestyle can lead to weight loss by reducing empty calorie intake and curbing cravings for sugary foods. It promotes clearer, more youthful-looking skin by preventing visible wrinkles and premature aging. By improving sleep quality, it increases energy levels, overall well-being, and allows for better focus and mental clarity. Moreover, abstaining from alcohol can enhance productivity and performance, potentially leading to higher income and wealth creation. Most importantly, it enables individuals to fully engage with and appreciate life's richness without the need for external substances.

Notable quote:

[14:16] Even moderate drinking can cause brain degeneration. [14:20]

Resources Mentioned: 

Boost your mood and optimism with four habits that will change your life. Discover the research-backed strategies that Matt learned from happiness expert Shawn Achor. Optimism is one of the strongest predictors of career success and life satisfaction. These four habits take as little as two minutes each day and will increase your gratitude, reduce your stress, and strengthen your social connections. 

Join Matt O’Neill this week and take on the 21-Day Happiness Challenge to boost both your well-being and success. Because everything gets better when you feel happier. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Why happiness is elusive despite achievements and external factors

• The pursuit of happiness

• How negativity works and the key to true happiness

• The four habits to increase optimism

• The 21-day Happiness Challenge

[06:25] Rediscovering True Happiness Within

In our pursuit of happiness, we often look to external factors. We believe that achieving certain goals or possessing certain things will bring us joy. We work tirelessly to earn enough money, find a life partner, have children, and eventually retire, all in the hopes of attaining happiness. But despite all our efforts, we still find ourselves feeling unfulfilled. The truth is that happiness is not found in these external circumstances; it resides within us. If we strip away all negative thoughts and patterns, what remains is the innate happiness of our being. However, society has conditioned us to believe that happiness is contingent upon material achievements and societal milestones. We are taught to believe that if we can just reach the next level, then we will finally be happy. But time and again, we realize that these milestones only provide fleeting satisfaction. It's time to shift our perspective and realize that true happiness is not found in the pursuit of external validation, but in embracing the happiness that already exists within us.

[11:04] The Key to True Happiness

• The power of emotions is contagious, as both negativity and positivity can spread from person to person. Our brain's mirror neurons and empathy enable us to unconsciously absorb the emotional states of others, impacting our own mood. While removing negative people from our lives isn't the solution, fostering inner positivity allows us to be a beacon of happiness amidst suffering. Putting on our happiness armor each day, we can uplift and inspire those around us, making a positive difference in the world.

[22:43] The Four Habits to Increase Optimism

The four habits to increase optimism discussed in the transcript are:

• Write down three new things you're grateful for each day.

• Go for a 15-minute brisk walk 4-5 times a week.

• Take two minutes each day to watch your breath through mindfulness meditation.

• Spend two minutes a day sending praise or thanks to someone new via text or email.

Notable quotes:

[06:41] Everything we do, we're trying to be happy. Well, then why aren't we?... because we're chasing after happiness in the wrong place. [06:52]

[12:07] Negativity is contagious. And so is positivity. What are you spreading? [12:15]

[13:11] Become so good at your internal happiness that your mood lifts everyone around you. [13:32]

[16:42] Everything improves with happiness. [16:45]

Resources Mentioned: 

Legendary football coach Lou Holtz joins Matt on The Good Mood Show!

Coach Holtz shares lessons on leadership, character, and living a purpose-driven life. He emphasizes doing what's right, commitment to excellence, and caring for others. 

Coach also discusses overcoming challenges and achieving your dreams through having the right attitude. This interview provides great insights into how you can win every day.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• The three rules for success

• The importance of trust in relationships

• Teaching others beyond football

• Defining a champion

[04:56] The Three Rules for Success

1. Always do what is right. By making ethical choices, we lay a strong foundation for growth. 

2. Do your best in everything you do. While not everyone may achieve All-American status or be at the top academically, we all have the potential to be the best version of ourselves. 

3. Show genuine care for others. A simple smile, kind words, and offering support can make a significant difference in people's lives, even in challenging times.

[06:22] The Importance of Trust in Relationships

If you don't have trust between two parties, you cannot have a relationship. Lou remembers benching star players before a big game because they had broken his trust by being late multiple times. He believed that trust was critical for a coach to have a good relationship with players, and for players to have a good relationship with each other on the team. Trust is important for any other relationship. It is the foundation that allows relationships to thrive.

• [18:29] Defining a Champion

• What does it mean to be a champion? Being a champion means striving to be the best version of yourself. It means pushing yourself to reach your full potential. It's important to remember that you may deceive others, fool your teammates, or even fool the crowd in the stands. However, deep down, you can't deceive yourself. When you lay your head on the pillow at night, only you truly know if you gave your all, if you did everything in your power to support and uplift your teammates. That inner honesty and dedication are what set champions apart.

Notable quotes:

[06:22] If you don't have trust between two parties, you cannot have a relationship. [06:26] 

[07:23] Life is about choices, and we make the choice to do what's right, because trust is critical. [07:30]

[25:31] If you need drugs to help you get through the day, then you got some serious problem because you're making bad choices. [25:40]

[4:56] Three Rules for Success: 1. Do what is right  2. Do your best  3. Care for others. 

Resources Mentioned: 

As a parent we always want the best upbringing for our children. But what does that look like? Kids don't come with instruction manuals. While some may have had a good childhood, there is no such thing as a perfect one. 

In this episode Matt sits down with Bonnie Compton, a child therapist and one of America's most trusted resources regarding parenting. Bonnie teaches us that kids don’t respond well to being controlled by their parents. Instead, what they need is to be guided to make their own choices and learn from their own mistakes. Whether you’re a parent or you plan to be one, this is a conversation you will want to take in. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Guiding children to make responsible choices for themselves

• Discipline is not a dirty word.

• Parenting and expectations for the youngest child

• The downsides of helicopter parenting

[03:17] Nurturing Children: A Responsibility and Opportunity for All of Us

• While some may have had a good childhood, there is no such thing as a perfect one. Those who want to emulate their own parents' parenting styles should approach with caution as every individual and family dynamic is different. It's important to bring in other ways that you want to be as a parent or seek guidance from experts to ensure a well-rounded approach. For those from dysfunctional families, it's important to avoid swinging too far in the opposite direction and putting pressure on yourself to create a "perfect" childhood for your own children. Instead, focus on being present, nurturing, and supportive.

• [12:15] The Importance of Allowing Children to Make Responsible Choices

• Kids don't respond well to being controlled by their parents. They often rebel and resist our efforts when we try to control them. Instead, it's important to guide our children towards making responsible choices for themselves and allowing them to experience the consequences of those choices. This is how we raise children to become independent young adults and eventually, fully functional adults. By trying to exert too much control over our children, we risk pushing them away and fostering resentment.

• [25:47] The Downsides of Helicopter Parenting

• Helicopter parenting can actually prevent children from learning how to handle failure and make their own decisions. Instead of learning from their mistakes, young adults who were overly protected often become paralyzed by fear of doing the wrong thing or making a mistake. Failure is an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than a catastrophic end result. However, this type of overprotective parenting can ultimately do more harm than good, as children are not given the chance to develop their independence and problem-solving skills. By stepping back and allowing children to make decisions and experience the consequences, parents can help foster their children's self-reliance and confidence in their abilities.

Notable quotes:

[10:32] Maybe the dishes don't get done. What kids care about is that you are there and that they are seen. [10:42]

[25:25] Kids don't come with instruction manuals... you're learning as you go. [25:31]

Resources Mentioned: 

Failure is a part of life, right? Not according to leadership coach Emily Sander. She believes you can live a life where you never fail again. 

Our fear of failure often holds us back from taking risks, pushing our limits, and becoming our best selves. By adopting the mindset that every perceived "failure" is actually an opportunity to grow, we can overcome the fear of failure and live a more bold and fulfilling life. 

In this episode of The Good Mood Show podcast, Matt sits down with Emily Sander as she shares her concept of the "failure loop.” Learn how to reframe failure as a success by embracing the learning opportunities.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Reframing failure as a learning opportunity

• Embracing failure and personal growth

• How the fear of failure can hold us back

• Overcoming public failures

• Why staying comfortable isn’t the best life you can have

[02:22] Reframing Failure as a Learning Opportunity

• The Failure Loop framework helps redefine failure by viewing it as a growth opportunity rather than a negative experience. By extracting lessons from failures and applying them to future endeavors, we propel ourselves towards success. Embracing failure as a catalyst for personal development and pushing beyond our comfort zones leads to success. Each time we encounter a challenge, we move up the failure chain, entering the next loop of personal growth. By reframing our perspective on failure and consistently embracing it, we set ourselves up for success in all areas of life. Embracing failure as a natural part of the journey is a hallmark of success.

• [13:19] Embracing Failure and Personal Growth

• Emily's journey on a podcast revealed her deep-rooted fear of judgment and rejection, stemming from our primal instincts for survival. Despite her desire to perform well, her amygdala triggered a fear of being disliked and abandoned. Through guidance and self-discovery, Emily rewired her brain's association between podcasts and the fear of death, liberating herself from fear's grip. Now approaching podcasting with confidence and a growth mindset, she sees failure and judgment as opportunities for growth. Emily's story reminds us to challenge our primal fears and embrace personal and professional growth through self-awareness and reframing failure.

[19:58] How the Fear of Failure Can Hold Us Back

Imagine a world where every endeavor you undertake is destined for success. How would your approach change? What dreams would you pursue today, knowing that they will flourish? This thought experiment unveils a plethora of opportunities and breaks down the barriers imposed by the fear of failure. It encourages us to reflect on how much this fear holds us back and empowers us to embrace a fearless mindset. So, let go of hesitations and doubts, and embark on your journey toward success with unwavering determination.

Notable quotes:

[18:32] Our brains are still wired where we think of our identity and our reputation as our actual survival. [18:39]

[19:58] If you knew that everything you would do would be successful, what would you do differently? [20:03]

[28:30] If you're playing small, you're not doing your job... and other people are missing out because of that. [28:40] 

Resources Mentioned: 

In a world chasing happiness, how do you find true and lasting joy? In this episode, you will learn the 5 powerful ways to live beyond happy, including creating your own definition of success, leaving it all on the field, and serving a purpose greater than yourself. 

Join Matt O’Neill as he interviews intuitive business coach Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell. Lynita shares her insights on how to live a successful life, which she defines as living a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment. 

It's time to live your life beyond happy!

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Finding success from within

• How to find peace

• Five ways to live beyond happy

[02:49] Finding Success From Within

• In the midst of a life filled with external achievements and accolades, the weight of stress began to take its toll. It was a wake-up call when Lynita discovered that her daughter found her passed out from exhaustion one day. She then realized she needed to redefine her notion of success. It couldn't be solely based on material possessions like clothes, cars, money, and fame. She had to find something deeper, something that would allow her to be present for her kid as she grew up. Unsure of where to start, Lynita embarked on a journey within herself, creating a new list of priorities that aligned with her true values. She crafted a blueprint for her own happiness, letting go of the expectations imposed by others. It was time to stop ticking someone else's boxes so she paved her own path to fulfillment.

[14:29] 5 Ways to Live Beyond Happy

1. Create your own definition of success rather than following someone else's definition. Focus on intangible things like peace, joy, and fulfillment. Happiness and joy differ in their nature - happiness is derived from external factors, while joy comes from within. It's crucial to discard societal definitions of who we should be and how we should live, and instead, forge our own path. 

2. Leave it all on the field. Do your best with what you have in each moment and don't dwell on what could have been better. Be grateful for the opportunities and experiences.

3. Debunk the myth that being busy is the same as being productive. Cut unnecessary things off your plate so you have space to enjoy life.

4. Serve a purpose greater than yourself. Come within to understand what truly fulfills you rather than just saying yes to everything to seek approval.

5. Live your modern life by setting your own daily practice for peace. See challenges as opportunities for growth rather than problems.

Notable quotes:

[05:53] There will never be enough money… because that is not what brings joy. That's what we're all really chasing is – joy – not happiness. [06:06]

[14:39] We have to put aside someone else's definition of who we are and we have to create our own. [14:47]

[16:30] There's nothing else that we want than to be happy... But we're never taught how to do that. [16:43]

Resources Mentioned: 

Life can sometimes feel out of control. To regain our feeling of control, it is important to reduce the size of our circle of personal control. We can minimize this circle by focusing on our own response to the world, rather than trying to control the entire world. Ultimately, the only thing any of us can control is our own reactions to external conditions.

In this episode, Matt O'Neill interviews recovery coach Bryan Yates. Bryan opens up about his past struggles with alcoholism and achievement addiction. When faced with big challenges like addiction, it is important to understand where your true power lies. It lies in this moment, in this response, in controlling the only thing we can control, our reactions to the world.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Who are you becoming? vs. Who are you?

• Embracing self-acceptance and accountability

• The “over and next” exercise

• The power of self-control

[10:47] Embracing Self-Acceptance and Accountability

Bryan emphasizes the common tendency to negotiate self-acceptance away. We often set conditions for accepting ourselves, tying it to external achievements or milestones. This pattern is prevalent in our late 20s, 30s, and early 40s. From a sobriety perspective, Bryan shares two essential rules: surrender, and then acknowledge powerlessness over alcohol, people, and emotions. By accepting our past avoidance and taking full accountability for our actions and responses, we can truly embrace self-acceptance and personal growth.

[18:26] The Over Next Technique

The "over/next" technique is a simple yet powerful exercise that Bryan uses in his coaching. It involves writing things you want to let go of or be "over" in one column, and what you want to replace them with in the "next" column. This exercise helps you consciously identify behaviors, thought patterns, or habits that are no longer serving you. Writing them down makes it more real and committed. The "next" column is where you get to envision positive changes and how you want to grow or improve, providing motivation and direction. 

Simply writing it out takes it from your head to your heart in a way that visualizing can reinforce changes on a deeper level. We naturally fall back into old patterns, so revisiting your "over next" lists helps keep you accountable to evolving in a healthy way. It acknowledges that change is a process by focusing on replacements rather than just "cutting things out," and so, it tends to be more sustainable long-term. 

[30:36] The Power of Self-Control

Bryan highlights the essence of personal control as a small circle. Through his own struggles with sobriety, Bryan realized that by minimizing this circle and focusing on his own response to the world, he gained clarity on the limited influence he truly possesses. Ultimately, the only thing any of us can control is our own reactions to external conditions.

Notable quotes:

[18:10] Knowing the meaning of two words – over and next… Over, it’s like I'm letting go of this thing. Next, let's hit the next thing. [18:24]

[31:12] The only thing I really control is my response to conditions in the world. [31:17]

[07:21] We're constantly in this process of becoming... Who are you becoming?... That's a much harder question to answer but it's a much better question that who are you? [07:53]

Resources Mentioned: 

Sometimes our talents are mistakenly seen as our life's purpose. But our true purpose is to seek, find, and experience joy. This perspective relieves the pressure of constantly striving to live a life of meaning. By simply embracing the present moment, sharing love, and serving others, we are already living our purpose. As we deepen our connections and expand our capacity for joy, we naturally attract greater opportunities to connect with, and impact, more people.

In this episode, Matt interviews Victoria Rader, and they delve into strategies for cultivating joy in life. Know that you deserve to be joyful without needing to earn the right to be joyful. No matter what you have experienced or caused in your life, nothing can prevent you from reclaiming your joy. Tune in to embrace the profound joy that awaits you.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Living with purpose: Embracing joy and impact

• Breathing exercise for stress

• The concept of the mindset as a thermostat

• The four-step principle for marriages

[02:17] Living with Purpose: Embracing Joy and Impact

We all have a unique purpose that manifests itself through our individuality. Sometimes, our talents are mistakenly seen as our life's purpose. However, what we do is a reflection of us living out our purpose, which is to seek, find, and experience joy. This perspective relieves the pressure of constantly questioning our life's purpose. By simply embracing the present moment, sharing love, and serving others, we are already living our purpose. As we deepen our connections and expand our capacity for joy, we naturally attract greater opportunities to connect with and impact more people, allowing our purpose to unfold in unexpected ways.

[10:42] The Concept of Mindset as a Thermostat

The concept of mindset as a thermostat versus a thermometer is a profound understanding. A thermometer's role is to measure the environment, solely reflecting the temperature without influencing it. However, to measure accurately, it must align with the temperature it is measuring. In our lives, we often function as mere thermometers, absorbing and reflecting the energies around us. If anger or intense emotions escalate, we unintentionally measure and match them, becoming stuck in that emotional state. By embracing the role of a thermostat, we can take control of our reality. Instead of reacting to external energies, we proactively choose the emotions and energy we wish to radiate, creating a harmonious and abundant existence.

[33:19] How to Access Joy in Your Life

Reset into knowing that you deserve to be joyful without needing to earn the right to be joyful. No matter what you have experienced or caused in your life, whether you have inflicted pain upon others or carried the burden of guilt, nothing can prevent you from reclaiming joy and restoring yourself. It may require effort, humility, and embarking on a journey of forgiveness. Many of us unknowingly hinder our own joy through self-incrimination and the lack of self-forgiveness. Today, it is imperative to know that you no longer need to punish yourself. It is time to release the weight of guilt, forgive yourself, move forward, and embrace the profound joy that awaits you.

Notable quote:

[33:19] Know that you deserve to be joyful, without needing to earn the right to be joyful. [33:27]

Resources Mentioned: 

If you find yourself dealing with intermittent pain, such as headaches, knee pain, back pain, or neck pain, it's important to recognize that this is not a natural state for the body. Recurring pain is your soul's way of getting your attention. It signifies that there may be unresolved emotions within you that need to be addressed and released in order for you to experience freedom from pain.

By becoming more attuned to the pain in our bodies and recognizing the emotional component behind it, we can clear both the emotions and the physical pain. In this way, we can live a healthier life, both physically and emotionally. 

Join Matt O'Neill as he explores a never-to-be published chapter of his book regarding subconscious emotions manifesting as physical pain in our bodies. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• The reason subconscious anger can cause so many problems

• The primitive aspect of human personality

• Pain in our bodies is a sign of suppressed anger

• Understanding the link between pain and emotions

• How to muscle test yourself to identify trapped emotions

• Exercise to release trapped emotions

• How to deal with anger

[02:29] The Reason Why Subconscious Anger Can Cause So Many Problems

The impact of subconscious anger stems from societal conditioning that portrays anger as a negative emotion. As children, we expressed anger openly, resembling tantrums and outbursts. However, as adults, we suppress and conceal our anger, having learned to hide it from punishment and societal expectations. This suppression leads to unresolved anger residing within us, often unbeknownst even to ourselves. Many individuals claim not to be angry, yet the truth is that most adults harbor unexpressed and suppressed anger, tucked away in their subconscious mind, manifesting in various ways.

[12:54] Pain In Our Bodies is a Sign of Suppressed Anger

If you find yourself dealing with intermittent pain, such as headaches, migraines, shoulder aches, knee pain, back pain, or neck pain, it's important to recognize that this is not a natural state for the body. Physical pain is typically meant to be acute and serve as a warning sign that something is causing harm. Just like how a rock in your shoe would cause pain in your foot, prompting you to remove it for relief, recurring pain is your soul's way of getting your attention. It signifies that there are unresolved emotions within you that need to be addressed and released in order for you to experience freedom from pain.

[29:44] Exploring the Hidden Emotional Roots of Pain

When you are feeling pain in your body, ask yourself these questions: Are you feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the demands of your life? Perhaps you're carrying too much and need to make a change. It may be time to prioritize self-care and create space for relaxation. Do you feel that others are not respecting your boundaries, and do you need more personal space? Being honest about the true source of your tightness or pain is the key to healing it completely. Once you acknowledge that emotional elements contribute to your pain, it will start to diminish. To avoid future pain accumulation, revisit these questions and address them honestly.

Notable quotes:

[01:22] When you start to get really in tune with pain in your body... that is when you start to open up... to really manage your emotions in a much better way.  [01:45]

[12:54] If physical pain keeps coming back, your soul is trying to get your attention. Most likely, there is an emotional blockage keeping you from being pain-free. [13:05]

[27:17] Being honest about the true source behind your tightness or pain is the solution to fully healing it. [27:23]

Resources Mentioned: 

Wendy Wallace lost both her hands and both her feet, and almost lost her life to a flesh eating bacteria. She survived by the grace of God. Challenges in life are a part of our journey. Instead of worrying, it's important to focus on gratitude and live in the present moment. 

In today’s episode, Wendy Wallace joins Matt O'Neill to discuss how she finds peace, joy, positivity, and gratitude in her life despite losing both hands and both feet. Wendy shares how her deep connection with God helps her help other women rediscover God's joy and fulfillment amid life's trials. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Embracing life’s challenges with gratitude and faith

• Overcoming limitations and embracing the power of “can”

• The importance of seizing the present moment

• How to live a life without worry

• The importance of giving more than you receive

[07:22] Embracing Life’s Challenges with Gratitude and Faith

Life is filled with challenges, regardless of how virtuous we strive to be. Wendy's story serves as a testament to this truth. She believes that sharing her experiences is a divine calling, an opportunity to inspire others and instill hope in the face of adversity. Wendy emphasizes the importance of gratitude, faith, and maintaining a positive mindset. She reminds us that even when life doesn't go as planned, we can still find peace and joy by shifting our perspective. Wendy's words resonate with the idea that with the right attitude, we can navigate life's difficulties and cultivate a sense of well-being.

[12:03] Seizing the Present: Embracing Action and Opportunity

In life, we often hold back from pursuing our desires due to timing and financial constraints. But waiting for the perfect moment only hinders our progress. Living in the moment means seizing opportunities as they come, rather than making excuses. By taking action and embracing new experiences, we open ourselves up to personal growth and hidden opportunities. So, don't let your dreams go to waste. Take the leap and embrace the present, because what's the worst that could happen?

[16:06] How to Live a Life Without Worry

In Philippians 4:6-7, the Lord encourages us to replace anxiety and worry with thankfulness. By shifting our perspective and focusing on gratitude, we can find a silver lining in every situation. No matter the circumstances, actively seeking reasons to be grateful can change our mindset and bring peace amidst the chaos. When worry arises, take a moment to reflect on what you are thankful for, knowing that gratitude has the power to transform even the toughest challenges. Embracing a spirit of thankfulness allows us to navigate life with joy and resilience.

Notable quotes:

[12:49] Living in the moment means "do or do not, there is no try." [12:53]

[16:28] If you're worried about something, why not flip the switch on that and say, Okay, well, let's think about what I'm thankful about in the situation. [16:35]

[16:39] There is a silver lining in every dark cloud, in every test, in every boo-boo, in every challenge, there's something to be thankful for. [16:50]

Resources Mentioned: 

#1 NYT best-selling author and spiritual teacher Mark Nepo joins “The Good Mood Show” once again to share insights from his highly anticipated new book Falling Down and Getting Up. 

Mark has been named by Watkins as one of the 100 most spiritually influential living people. In this episode, he discusses how the essence of life is an evolution of falling down and getting up, each time with a little more wisdom. As Mark explains, we never reach an "arrived state" without problems, because that’s not how life truly works. We can't bypass the challenges; we have to live through them. 

You will learn how the strength of being alive comes from embracing our wholeness, being real, and being authentic. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• The mystery of life and how it works

• The importance of making amends

• Seeing things as they are

• The wisdom of being present

• The story of Gilgamesh

[08:12] The Mystery of Life and How It Works

In life, we often seek the good times and avoid the tough stuff, but that's not how life works. The strength of being alive comes from embracing its wholeness, being real, and authentic. We can't bypass the challenges; we have to live through them. It's like water - we can't just have hydrogen alone and call it water. Life is a mystery, and its wholeness requires us to support and journey together. We've always chased the ideal state without problems, but the truth is, there are no problems only in death.

[10:38] The Power of Authenticity of Making Amends

Pain and suffering are inherent in the cycle of life, according to Buddhist teachings. While unavoidable, we must learn to work with it. When we unintentionally hurt each other, it's often a mistake that can be rectified through sincere apologies and making amends. This process plays a crucial role in fostering intimacy and growth. However, there is also deliberate harm caused by evil, which stems from personal pain and avoidance of facing one's own issues. The courage to be authentic and face our own pain reduces violence in the world and allows us to support rather than harm one another. 

[13:00] Seeing Things as They Are

Being authentic requires us to embrace the challenging yet essential practice of seeing things as they truly are, rather than through the lens of our desires or the urge to escape. By facing reality head-on, we empower ourselves to navigate through obstacles and extend support to one another. When we acknowledge our mistakes and the harm we have caused, we can take the necessary steps to repair and prevent such incidents from recurring.

Notable quotes:

[09:00] The strength of being alive comes from its wholeness, and we can only access its wholeness by being real and authentic. [09:11]

[11:59] The courage to be authentic by itself reduces violence in the world because then we help each other rather than hurt each other. [12:08]

[17:46] If we are open-hearted, we are returned to life right where we are. [17:52]

[18:08] When we are stopped, or we willingly stop, there's always a teacher nearby, always. And often, we run right past it. [18:18]

Resources Mentioned: 

Tuesdays With Morrie is the bestselling memoir of all time. Rob Schwartz, Morrie’s son, discovered an unpublished manuscript in his father’s desk drawer years after his death. Rob recently published this incredible book, The Wisdom of Morrie, and he joins the Good Mood Show this week to discuss the deep wisdom of his father. 

Learn how to live fully in the present moment and appreciate the beauty of life. Rob teaches us about forgiveness, compassion, and strengthening relationships. When we have strong relationships with others who love and support us, it fulfills us at a deep level. It brings meaning and purpose to our lives, and it improves our wellbeing and happiness. You will come away from this episode with a greater understanding and appreciation for what it means to be human. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• The importance of strengthening human relationships

• How to appreciate the beauty of life

• What it means to stay human

• Why the most beautiful time in life is now

[07:14] The Importance of Strengthening Human Relationships

When we have strong relationships with others who love and support us, it fulfills us at a deep level. It brings meaning and purpose to our lives, and it improves our wellbeing and happiness. Our relationships provide opportunities for growth, as we learn how to be more empathetic, compassionate, and understanding of others. As Morrie Schwartz said, "Love is how you stay alive even after you're gone." The impact we have on others through strong relationships can continue long after we're gone.

[13:50] What It Means to Stay Human

To stay human means to stay true to the qualities that make us distinctly human - our capacity for love, compassion, empathy, creativity, and spirituality. It means relating to others in a genuine, authentic way and connecting deeply with their humanity. It means appreciating beauty, art, and joy. It means living in accordance with higher human values like kindness, honesty and integrity. In essence, to stay human is to avoid becoming hardened, cynical or indifferent. It is to remain open-hearted, thoughtful, and connected to others and to the world around us.

[16:51] The Most Beautiful Time in Life is Now

Now is the most beautiful time in life because it is the only time we truly have to experience life fully. The past is gone and the future is uncertain, so all we really have is this present moment. When we live fully in the now, we develop a greater appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. As we age and gain wisdom, we realize how precious each moment is. Understanding our own impermanence and mortality makes us value our time while we are still alive. Living in the present allows us to have more meaningful connections and be fully present with the people we love right now. Now is the only time we can act with purpose and express our values. So in essence, now is the most beautiful time in life because it is the only time we have to truly live, love, experience joy, and appreciate the gift of being alive.

Notable quotes:

[16:51] It's always now. The past and the future don't exist. So the most beautiful time in life has to be now because it's the only time. [16:59]

Resources Mentioned: 

When we are kind to ourselves, we are more able to extend kindness to others. But the Dalai Lama talks about how at the end of the day, he's tired, and he can get cranky. If that’s true for the Dalai Lama, it allows us to have a sense of graciousness and patience with ourselves. This is how we offer unconditional kindness to the world, it starts by offering it to ourselves first. 

In today's episode, join Matt as he interviews Swami Nityananda, a devoted spiritual teacher at the Awake Yoga Meditation community. Her teachings invite people to explore their innate capacity for love, wisdom, joy, harmony, and kindness – prompting people to ask, "How may I be of service?" Today's show unravels the power of unconditional love and kindness, revealing how all of us can triumph even in challenging times.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• What is a natural expression of our spiritual energy?

• The concept of equipoise

• The story of the mother who donated her son's heart

• Choose love first, or choose love second.

• Self-awareness and the ability to self-correct

• Focus on the light that is present everywhere

• How every human is connected to their own energy

[02:40] Discovering Your Unique Awakeness: Embracing Joy, Curiosity, and Dedication

Within you, lies a profound joy intertwined with an insatiable curiosity and an unwavering dedication to exploring spiritual questions. This innate awakening is the natural expression of your vibrant spirit. As each listener embarks on their journey, a fundamental question emerges - what form does this joy, curiosity, wonder, and creative life energy take for each of us individually? Like beautiful fingerprints, we possess a unique identity, but beneath it all, there lies a signature energy that defines our awakeness. Embrace the exploration of your own authentic expression.

[15:39] Choosing Love First, Or Choosing Love Second

Every human has the ability to choose love and kindness or just step out of the stream. If we do step out of the stream, just choose to step back again. The Dalai Lama talks about how at the end of the day he's tired and not his best self. This allows ordinary humans to have a sense of humor, graciousness, and patience. By cultivating these qualities within, we become more capable of extending the same graciousness and patience to those we encounter on our journey.

[30:05] Harnessing the Power of Light and Love: Connecting to our Inner Divine Awareness

In moments of anger, frustration, or disconnection, it's crucial to tap into the energy of light and pure love. This divine energy of righteousness, truth, justice, and clarity resides within each of us. By embracing this awareness, we can transcend doubt and live from a place of pure potentiality. So, whenever you encounter injustice or observe feelings of separation, channel the energy of light and love to align with your truest self and radiate your unique essence to the world.

Notable quotes:

[18:32] When we're gracious & patient with ourselves, we're more able to extend graciousness & patience to others. [18:40]

[30:05] If you do experience that feeling of anger or feeling of frustration, or a feeling of disconnect… connect with the energy of light. Connect with the energy of pure love. [30:25]

Resources Mentioned: