Replacing Guilt
By Gianluca Truda, Nate Soares
Produced by Gianluca Truda (co-host of podtangent.com).
Original posts at mindingourway.com/guilt
Replacing GuiltJun 25, 2021
Replacing Guilt (full audiobook)
The complete Replacing Guilt series. Written by Nate Soares. Read and produced by Gianluca Truda.
---
Contents
0:00:36 : Preliminaries
0:17:50 : Part 1: Fighting for something
1:03:20 : Part 2: Drop your obligations
1:30:27 : Part 3: Half monkey, half god
2:44:30 : Part 4: The dark world
4:17:40 : Part 5: Fire within
5:39:14 : Conclusion
5:43:46 : Series reflection (excerpt from Bit of a Tangent)
---
The My Hero comic by Matt Rhodes: mindingourway.com/content/images/2015/05/MyHero.jpg
---
If you enjoyed this audiobook, please do share it with anyone you think might benefit from its insights.
The original sequence of articles, written by Nate Soares, can be found at mindingourway.com/guilt
You can get in touch with me and find out about my other public projects by visiting gianlucatruda.com
The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch, used under Creative Commons.
If you liked listening to my voice, you may also enjoy the Bit of a Tangent Podcast, which I co-host with my friend Jared. We have discussions about AI, Rationality, mental models, Bayesian reasoning, and (most recently) the predictive processing theory of cognition. If, like us, you aim to make sense of the world and effect positive outcomes, we welcome you to join us!
Updates and Discussion
This episode is made of two parts. Firstly, some updates on the project: the audiobook is still in progress and should be released soon. I'll be uploading it to this feed and will try make it as accessible as possible. To tie you all over until then, the rest of this instalment is an excerpt from the Bit of a Tangent podcast, which I co-host with my good friend, Jared. We discussed how and why I came to narrate Replacing Guilt, how to gain the most from listening to the series, and the types of people who will find it most helpful.
Bit of a Tangent podcast: www.podtangent.com
Mental Models series: podtangent.com/e/mental-models-1-how-to-have-better-ideas-and-improve-your-thinking
Predictive Processing series: podtangent.com/e/predictive-processing-1-the-world-you-thought-you-knew
Rationality: From AI to Zombies podcast: www.from-ai-to-zombies.eu
SlateStarCodex podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/slate-star-codex-podcast/id1295289140
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (audio): www.hpmorpodcast.com
Gianluca on Twitter: twitter.com/QVagabond
Jared on Twitter: twitter.com/jnearestn
Bit of a Tangent on Twitter (twitter.com/podtangent) and Instagram (instagram.com/podtangent)
42 Conclusion
"All we need to do, in any given moment, is look upon the actions available to us, consider, and take whichever one seems most likely to lead to a future full of light."
--------
Stay subscribed for future updates about a full audiobook version, as well as further discussions on the subject matter.
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/guilt-conclusion/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
41 How we will be measured
"After nearly a year of writing, my "replacing guilt" sequence is coming to a close. I have just one more thing to say on the subject, by pointing out a running theme throughout the series."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/how-we-will-be-measured/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
40 Defiance
"Defiance-the-virtue is about having the same reflexive response, not towards an authority figure, but towards the state of a broken world. It's about making the fact that you struggle to fix broken worlds automatic and unspoken — you might weigh your options and bide your time, but you spare no thought for whether you will struggle.
I don't know how to teach defiance, but it's one of the keystones of my motivation system. If you want to build yourself a motivation system akin to mine, defiance is an important component."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/defiance/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
39 Recklessness
"The second dubious virtue is recklessness. As with desperation, there are many bad ways to be reckless. There is a nihilistic recklessness, in those with a muted ability to feel and care, that is self-destructive. There is a social recklessness, when peers push each other towards doing something dangerous that none of them would do alone, in a demonstration of commitment that can become needlessly dangerous. And there is a fiery, destructive recklessness in those too quick to anger, which can lead people to actions they will regret for a lifetime. I caution against all these types of recklessness.
Nevertheless, there is a type of recklessness that is a virtue. This is recklessness in the pursuit of an external goal, and I have found it to be rather rare."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/recklessness/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
38 Desperation
"The next three posts will discuss what I dub the three dubious virtues: desperation, recklessness, and defiance. I call them dubious, because each can easily turn into a vice if used incorrectly or excessively. As you read these posts, keep in mind the law of equal and opposite advice. Though these virtues are dubious, I have found each of them to be a crucial component of a strong and healthy intrinsic motivation system.
The first of the three dubious virtues is desperation. There are bad ways to be desperate: visible desperation towards people can put you in a bad social position, strain your relationships, or otherwise harm you. Desperation towards a goal, on the other hand, is vital for a guilt-free intrinsic drive."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/desperation/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
37 Confidence all the way up
"I have found this mindset to be very useful throughout my life. Confidence all the way up is what has me dive into the fray to try new things, while others stand on the sidelines bemoaning a high degree of uncertainty. It's part of the technique of treat recurring failures as data and training, rather than as a signal that it's time to feel guilty. It's part of the technique of knowing you're deeply limited without letting that interfere with your progress towards the goal. Of the top ten most competent people I've met in person (by my estimation), eight of them seem to have some variant of confidence all the way up running. If the mindset seems foreign to you, I suggest finding a way to practice it for a while."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/confidence-all-the-way-up/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
36 The art of response
"Polished response patterns have proven useful to me, and I attribute much of my skill at math, programming, and running nonprofits to having sane responses to new obstacles. Regardless of where you get your response patterns from, I suspect that honing them will do you well."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/the-art-of-response/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
35 Obvious advice
"Sometimes, I wonder how successful a person would be if they just did all the obvious things in pursuit of their goals [...] So with that in mind, allow me to offer some quite obvious pieces of advice, which have proven very useful for me..."
Replacing Guilt will return to schedule in 2021. Take care and enjoy the break.
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/obvious-advice/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
34 There is no try
"Ok, so "try" is actually a pretty useful concept; there's a reason we have a very short word for it in the English language. Nevertheless, I have found it quite useful to occasionally spend a few weeks refusing to use the word "try" or any of its synonyms, at least when talking about myself, and especially when thinking about myself to myself."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/there-is-no-try/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
33 Stop trying to try and try
"Many years ago, when I was in high school, a friend of mine came back from college having joined a fencing team. He wanted to show me some of the basics, so he tossed me a sabre, and we had at each other. We crossed swords a few times, and he said something along the lines of "Nate, the goal isn't to hit my sword, the goal is to hit me." [...] "
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/stop-trying-to-try-and-try/
"SENS is currently fundraising, by the way": www.sens.org
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
32 Dark, Not Colorless
"The last arc of posts has been about how to handle a dour universe. Become unable to despair, learn to see the darkness rather than flinching from it, learn to choose between bad and worse without suffering. Learn to live in a grim world without becoming grim yourself, learn to hear bad news without suffering, and stop needing to know your actions were acceptable. Come to terms with the fact you may lose, use the darkness as a source of fuel, and let go of dreams of total victory. These are the tools I use to tap into intrinsic motivation, in a precarious world where the problems are larger than I am. [...]"
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/dark-not-colorless/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
31 The best you can
"In fiction, protagonists narrow their focus until the difference between success and failure on their specific task seems like the difference between victory and defeat. Batman attempts to solve the mystery while ensuring that nobody dies; meanwhile, children in Africa suffer from Malaria. The crew in The Martian spends billions of dollars worth of capital to save one man; capital that could have been spent curing diseases. Real people run a risk of duplicating this error, if they try to find the very best action available. ..."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/best-you-can/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
30 Transmute guilt into resolve
"Most of the time, if something is hurting you, I recommend making it stop. There is one exception, though..."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/transmute-guilt-i/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
29 Come to your terms
"So here's my advice: Think the unthinkable. Consider that which is painful to consider. Figure out what, exactly, is at stake. Weigh the consequences. Come to terms with them."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/come-to-your-terms/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
28 Have no excuses
"If you have an excuse prepared, you will be tempted to fall back on it. An excuse makes failure more acceptable, in some way. It's a license to fail."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/have-no-excuses/
"But you know about the planning fallacy"
"a wonderful opportunity for self-signaling"
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
27 Simply locate yourself
"... Maybe some part of you is pushing against reality, trying to deny it, willing the past to change."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/simply-locate-yourself/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
26 Detach the grim-o-meter
"I'm betting that the last three posts have given many readers an incorrect impression about my demeanor. It's easy to read those posts and conclude that I must be a grim, brooding character who goes around with his jaw set all day long.
Which is understandable, but silly. You don't need to carry a grim demeanor to draw strength from seeing the dark world. It's quite possible to deeply want the world to be different than it is, and tap into a deep well of cold resolve, and still also be curious, playful, and relaxed in turn.
This isn't a story, and we don't need to pretend to archetypes."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/detach-the-grim-o-meter/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
25 Choose without suffering
"When given a choice between bad and worse, you need to be able to choose "bad", without qualm."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/choose-without-suffering/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
24 See the dark world
"Consider fictional Carol, who has convinced herself that she doesn't need to worry about the suffering of people who live far away. She works to improve her local community, and donates to her local church. She's a kind and loving woman, and she does her part, and (she reasons) that's all anyone can be expected to do.
Now consider fictional Dave, who failed a job interview. When telling his friends the story, he emphasizes how the interviewers were biased against him, and how they asked stupid questions.
Meanwhile, driven by hunger, a fox tries to reach some grapes hanging high on the vine but is unable to, although he leaps with all his strength. As he goes away, he remarks "Oh, you aren't even ripe yet! I don't need any sour grapes."
All of these reactions — and many others — share a common kernel. Carol, Dave, and the fox are all inventing reasons why an unpleasant state of affairs is acceptable. They're not inventing reasons why the world is good, by any means; but they are putting forth cognitive effort to make it seem tolerable."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/see-the-dark-world/
Allegory of the Dragon: https://anchor.fm/guilt/episodes/23-The-value-of-a-life-eja6s1
Remember the litany of Gendlin.
See also: leaving yourself a line of retreat.
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
23 The value of a life
"If you have money and want to save lives, you had better put a price on life. Scott Alexander explains it better than I can. But don't mix up the price of a life with the value of a life. I see this happen all too frequently. To correct this mistake, I'm going to tell a little story..."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/the-value-of-a-life
Some of us work in the mines to make the dragon's tax. Others prepare for the day we will confront the dragon — for the weapons we must bring to bear will be powerful indeed, and may prove difficult to aim.
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
22 Being unable to despair
"Sometimes, when people see that their life is about to get a lot harder, they start buckling down. Other times, they start despairing, or complaining, or preparing excuses so that they can have one ready when the inevitable failure hits, or giving up entirely and then failing with abandon. These next few posts assume that you have the former demeanor, and they might not be helpful to people who are inclined to respond to new difficulties with despair. Remember the law of equal and opposite advice! (For every person who needs a certain piece of advice, there is someone else who needs the opposite advice.)
With that said, I'm going to spend a few words giving some tips about how to have the former demeanor, if you want to."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/being-unable-to-despair/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
21 Residing in the mortal realm
"Many people hold themselves to a very different standard than they hold others. They hold themselves accountable for failing to do the psychologically impossible. They fret over past mistakes and treat themselves as failed gods, rather than ambitious monkeys. This condemning-of-the-self can lead to great guilt, with all its negative effects.
My suggestion for dealing with guilt, roughly speaking, is to first focus your guilt, by dispelling the guilt that comes from not doing what other people think you should or from from false obligations, and shifting all your guilt into guilt about the fact that you have not yet made the future how you want it to be. Then, once your guilt is focused there, remember that you are a denizen of the mortal realm."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/residing-in-the-mortal-realm/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
20 There are no "bad people"
"I confess, I do not know what it would mean for somebody to be a "bad person." I do know what it means for somebody to be bad at achieving the goals they set for themselves. I do know what it means for someone to be good at pursuing goals that I dislike. I have no idea what it would mean for a person to "be bad."
I know what it means for a person to lack skill in a specific area. I know what it means for a person to be procrastinating. I know what it means for a person to be acting under impulses that they don't endorse, such as spite or disgust. I know what it means for someone to fail to act as they wish to act. I know what it means for someone to hurt other people, either on purpose or with a feeling of helpless resignation.
But I don't know what it would mean for a person to "be bad." That fails to parse. People don't have a hidden stone deep inside their brain that is either green or red depending on whether they are good or bad. "Badness" is not a fundamental property that a person can have. At best, "they're bad" can be shorthand for either "I don't want their goals achieved" or "they are untrained in a number of skills which would be relevant to the present situation"; but in all cases, "they are bad" must be either shorthand or nonsense."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/there-are-no/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
19 Self compassion
"To close the gap between compassion and self-compassion, I offer two tools. The first is a reminder that self-compassion is not the same thing as self-pity, and nor is it the same thing as making excuses for yourself. It is well possible to feel self-compassion even while thinking that you are not moving fast enough. It is perfectly possible to feel self-compassion even as you notice that you're completely failing to act as you wish to."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/self-compassion/
"if you want help feeling compassion towards your fellow humans, then maybe try this post": 06 Caring about something larger than yourself
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
18 Where coulds go
"Most people don't think they "could" cure Alzheimers by snapping their fingers, and so they don't feel terrible about failing to do this.
By contrast, people who fail to resist overeating, or who fail to stop playing Civilization at a reasonable hour, feel strongly that they "could have" resisted, and take this as a license to feel terrible about their decisions.
As I said last week, most people have broken "coulds.
Willpower is scarce in this world. Sometimes, you can will yourself out of a mental rut you're in, but only rarely; more often, sheer force of will alone is not sufficient. If your plan to stop staying up too late playing Civilization is "well I'll just force myself harder next time," then this plan is doomed to failure. If it didn't work last time, it likely won't work next time. Willpower is a stopgap, not a remedy."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/where-coulds-go/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
17 Not yet gods
"You probably don't feel guilty for failing to snap your fingers in just such a way as to produce a cure for Alzheimer's disease.
Yet, many people do feel guilty for failing to work until they drop every single day (which is a psychological impossibility). They feel guilty for failing to magically abandon behavioral patterns they dislike, without practice or retraining (which is a cognitive impossibility). What gives?"
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/not-yet-gods/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
16 Be a new homunculus
"Here's a mental technique that I find useful for addressing many dour feelings, guilt among them: When you're feeling guilty, it is sometimes helpful to close your eyes for a moment, re-open them, and pretend that you're a new homunculus."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/be-a-new-homunculus/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
15 Update from the suckerpunch
"The most common objection I hear when helping people remove their guilt is something along the lines of "Hey wait! I was using that!" Believing this (or really any variant of "but guilt is good for me!") makes it fairly hard to replace guilt with something more productive..."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/update-from-the-suckerpunch/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
14 Don't steer with guilt
"I've spoken at length about shifting guilt or dispelling guilt. What I haven't talked about, yet, is guilt itself. So let's talk about guilt. Guilt is one of those strange tools that works by not occurring. You place guilt on the branches of possibility that you don't want to happen, and then, if all goes well, those futures don't occur. Guilt is supposed to steer the future towards non-guilty futures; it's never supposed to be instantiated in reality."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/dont-steer-with-guilt/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
13 Shifting guilt
"The posts so far have been less about confronting guilt, and more about different tools for shifting it. This is a valuable skill to generalize.
The posts in this series have developed three such tools for shifting guilt. In this post, I'll recast those three tools as members of the same family, so that you can start to see the pattern, and develop similar tools from the same family as you need them.
The tools that I have described so far shift guilt to one particular place: guilt about being unable to act as you desire. This is intentional — that is the one place that I know how to confront guilt head-on."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/shifting-guilt/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
12 Rest in motion
"Many people seem to think the 'good' state of being, the 'ground' state, is a relaxed state, a state with lots of rest and very little action. Because they think the ground state is the relaxed state, they act like maintaining any other state requires effort, requires suffering.
This is a failure mode that I used to fall into pretty regularly. I would model my work as a finite stream of tasks that needed doing. I'd think "once I've done the laundry and bought new shoes and finished the grocery shopping and fixed the bugs in my code and finished the big refactor, everything will be in order, and I'll be able to rest." And in that state of mind, every new email that hit my inbox, every new bug discovered in my code, every tool of mine that wore down and needed repair, would deal me damage.
I was modeling my work as finite, with the rest state being the state where all tasks were completed, and so every new task would push me further from that precious rest state and wear me down.
But the work that needs to be done is not a finite list of tasks, it is a neverending stream. Clothes are always getting worn down, food is always getting eaten, code is always in motion. The goal is not to finish all the work before you; for that is impossible. The goal is simply to move through the work. Instead of struggling to reach the end of the stream, simply focus on moving along it."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/rest-in-motion/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
11 Working yourself ragged is not a virtue
"Part 1 was about replacing the listless guilt: if someone feels vaguely guilty for not really doing anything with their life, then the best advice I can give is to start doing something. Find something to fight for. Find a way that the world is not right, and decide to change it. Once the guilt is about failing at a specific task, then we can start addressing it.
Part 2 was about refusing to treat your moral impulses as obligations. Be wary of the word should, which tries to force an obligation upon you. I recommend refusing to do anything just because you "should": Insofar as that sets you free, the obligations were false ones. Insofar as that sparks fear that something important won't get completed, seek out the cause of the worry, and complete the task because you want to see it done, rather than because you "should."
However, having something to change in the world and being free of false obligations is not anywhere near enough to replace guilt motivation. In fact, I think that most guilt in most people comes from a different source: it comes from people honestly deciding that X is what they want to do and then finding themselves not doing X anyway."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/stop-before-you-drop/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
10 Your "shoulds" are not a duty
"I have a friend who, after reading my last two posts, still struggled to give up her shoulds. She protested that, if she stopped doing things because she should, then she might do the wrong thing. I see this frequently, even among people who claim to be moral relativists: they protest that if they weigh their wants and their shoulds on the same scales, then they might make the wrong choice."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/shoulds-are-not-a-duty/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
09 Not because you "should"
"A few months ago, a friend of mine was describing her motivational issues to me. As an example, she explained she was having trouble making herself clean her room, despite her dissatisfaction with the constant messiness.
I asked: "Have you considered just not forcing yourself?""
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/not-because-you-should/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
08 "Should" considered harmful
"My last few posts have been aimed at addressing what I call the "listless guilt," the vague sense of guilt that stems from not doing anything in particular. I said: The listless guilt is a guilt about not doing anything. To remove it, we must first turn it into a guilt about not doing something in particular.
If you didn't have a listless guilt, or if you did and the last few posts worked for you, then you may now find yourself wrestling with a very pointed sort of guilt that stems from not doing particular things. These next few posts will address the pointed guilts."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/should-considered-harmful/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
07 You don't get to know what you're fighting for
"A number of my recent posts may have given you the impression that I know exactly what I'm fighting for. If someone were to ask you, "hey, what's that Nate guy trying so hard to do," you might answer something like "increase the chance of human survival," or "put an end to unwanted death" or "reduce suffering" or something.
This isn't the case. I mean, I am doing those things, but those are all negative motivations: I am against Alzheimer's, I am against human extinction, but what am I for?
The truth is, I don't quite know. I'm for something, that's for damn sure, and I have lots of feelings about the things that I'm fighting for, but I find them rather hard to express.
And in fact, I highly doubt that anyone knows quite what they're fighting towards — though it seems that many people think they do, and that is in part why I'm writing this post."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/you-dont-get-t/
The comic "My Hero" by Matt Rhodes: http://mindingourway.com/content/images/2015/05/MyHero.jpg
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
06 Caring about something larger than yourself
"In my last post, I said that in order to address the listless guilt, step zero is believing that you can care about something, and step one is finding something to care about. This post is about step one."
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/caring-about-some/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
05 You're allowed to fight for something
"The first sort of guilt I want to address is the listless guilt, that vague feeling one gets after playing video games for twelve hours straight, a guilty feeling that you should be doing something else. Many people in my local friend group don't suffer from the listless guilt, because many people in my sphere are effective altruists who feel a very acute and specific sense of guilt when they think they've spent their time poorly. Specific guilt tends to be as bad or worse than the listless guilt, but before I address specific guilt, I need to confront the listless guilt." ...
--------
Original post: http://mindingourway.com/youre-allowed-to-fight-for-something/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
04 The Stamp Collector
"Once upon a time, a group of naïve philosophers found a robot that collected trinkets. Well, more specifically, the robot seemed to collect stamps: if you presented this robot with a choice between various trinkets, it would always choose the option that led towards it having as many stamps as possible in its inventory. It ignored dice, bottle caps, aluminum cans, sticks, twigs, and so on, except insofar as it predicted they could be traded for stamps in the next turn or two. So, of course, the philosophers started calling it the 'stamp collector.' ... "
--------
Transcript: http://mindingourway.com/the-stamp-collector/
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
03 Failing with Abandon
Transcript: http://mindingourway.com/failing-with-abandon/
--------
"Over and over, I see people set themselves a target, miss it by a little, and then throw all restraint to the wind. "Well," they seem to think, "willpower has failed me; I might as well over-indulge." I call this pattern "failing with abandon."
But you don't have to fail with abandon. When you miss your targets, you're allowed to say "dang!" and then continue trying to get as close to your target as you can..."
--------
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
02 Half-assing it with everything you've got
Transcript: http://mindingourway.com/half-assing-it-with-everything-youve-got
--------
I worry that guilt and shame are unhealthy long-term motivators. In many of my friends, guilt and shame tend to induce akrasia, reduce productivity, and drain motivation. So over the next few weeks, I'll be writing a series of posts about removing guilt/shame motivation and replacing it with something stronger.
--------
Find Nate Soares at mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.
01 Replacing guilt
Transcript: http://mindingourway.com/replacing-guilt
--------
In my experience, many people are motivated primarily by either guilt, shame, or some combination of the two. Some are people who binge-watch television, feel deeply guilty about it, and convert that guilt into a burning need to Actually Do Something on the following day. Others are people who feel guilty whenever they stop working before they literally fall over from exhaustion, and in attempts to avoid that guilty feeling, they consistently work themselves weary.
I find that using guilt as a motivation source is both unhealthy and inefficient, but yet, I find it to be a common practice, especially among effective altruists.
Thus, in the coming series of posts, I'm going to explore a whole slew of tools for removing guilt-based motivation and replacing it with something that is both healthier and stronger...
--------
Find Nate Soares at http://mindingourway.com
Find Gianluca Truda at http://gianlucatruda.com
Replacing Guilt is written by Nate Soares and produced, with permission, by Gianluca Truda. The theme music is a remix of Algorithms by Chad Crouch.