Half-Arsed History

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, enjoy the tale of the bloodiest mutiny in British naval history, the mutiny on the Hermione, and the daring operation undertaken to return it to British hands. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, find out who won the race to the North Pole, and hear about all the controversies and disputes involved with various attempts that were made to be the first to reach it.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, get across ten more ridiculous stories that led to some of the weirdest deaths in history.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover how the Commonwealth of Australia was created through federation, bringing six separate colonies together as one new nation.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn why Australia Day, the 26th of January, isn't a date worth celebrating while uncovering the full story of the colonisation of Australia.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the life story of one of ancient Egypt's most successful and famous pharaohs: Hatshepsut, whose great buildings are still standing today.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, enjoy some of the ridiculous stories involved with when famous pieces of artwork have been stolen: the funniest art heists in history.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, begin the new year by learning about the history of the date-keeping system that almost the entire world uses today: the Gregorian calendar.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the second part of the life story of Frederick Douglass, and the influence he had on the progress of US history as a speaker, writer, abolitionist, and statesman.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the first part of the life story of Frederick Douglass, a remarkable man who began life enslaved before making a daring and dangerous escape to a life of freedom as an author, speaker, statesman, and political activist.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the story of the most ridiculous World Cup in soccer's history - which also happens to be the first one ever held, the 1930 FIFA World Cup.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, listen to the conclusion of the story of Japan's great unifiers, with the tale of Tokugawa Ieyasu, who forged the mighty Tokugawa Shogunate. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, continue the tale of the unification of Japan with the life of Toyotomi Hideyoshi, the second of the great unifiers.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the life story of Oda Nobunaga, known as the first great unifier, a man whose actions changed the course of Japanese history.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn the histories of the six smallest nations on Earth: Liechtenstein, San Marino, Tuvalu, Nauru, Monaco, and the Vatican City.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the story of the famous traitor Benedict Arnold, who betrayed the rebellious Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War and fought instead for the British.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the tale of Isabella I of Castile, a remarkably important figure in both Spanish and world history, who oversaw the unification of the Spanish Kingdom and the creation of the Spanish Empire.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the story behind the formation of the Inca Empire, and the man behind its creation: Pachacuti Inca, who built one of the most remarkable empires the world has seen.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the story of one of the great mediaeval leaders, Frederick Barbarossa of the Holy Roman Empire, who spent his entire reign fighting to keep his realm together. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn about the Czech general and national hero, Jan Zizka, who used a combination of military innovation and strategic genius while fighting in the Hussite Wars.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the story of the Hundred Years’ War, a famous mediaeval conflict that saw five generations of English and French kings fight over claims to the French throne for over a hundred years.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the moment in history generally considered to be the end of the mediaeval period: the Fall of Constaninople, when a 21-year-old Ottoman Sultan captured the ancient city of Constantinople.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of King Charles I of England, one of the worst monarchs in English and British history, who ended up so unpopular that he ended up having his head chopped off. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the second half of the life story of Mahatma Gandhi, who led India towards its ultimate independence with satyagraha, his political philosophy of nonviolent resistance.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the first half of the story of Mahatma Gandhi, who started off a painfully shy law student before fighting against racial discrimination in South Africa, and for political independence in India. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the tale of a pioneering aviator, Amelia Earhart, who set countless records as a talented aviator and determined adventurer.

https://halfarsedhistory.files.wordpress.com/2022/08/218-amelia-earhart.mp3

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn the story behind a device that changed the world forever, and the man who invented it: Johannes Gutenberg, and the monumentally important printing press.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the tale of Isaac Newton, one of the most important figures in scientific history, who produced incredible, groundbreaking work that laid bare some of the fundamental laws of the universe. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, listen to the tale of Hammurabi, an ancient Mesopotamian king who instituted one of the most important and influential code of laws in human history.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the life story of the man who forged history's first-ever empire, Sargon of Akkad, and his efforts to maintain and develop it across his time as emperor.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn the life story of the Venezuelan freedom fighter and revolutionary hero, Simon Bolivar, who liberated half a continent from Spanish colonial rule. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the second half of the story of Napoleon Bonaparte, including his domestic reforms that would influence the entire world, and his eventual downfall, brief return, and final exile.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the first half of the story of Napoleon Bonaparte, the famous French commander and emperor, who forged the French Empire by conquering half of the European continent. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn about the later stages of Galileo Galilei's career, and how the legendary scientist ran afoul of the Catholic Church due to his far-sighted genius. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the first half of the life story of Galileo Galilei, one of the most important and influential scientists in human history, who made far-sighted, ground-breaking scientific discoveries that changed our understanding of the universe. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the tale of Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom, who was in her time the longest-reigning monarch in British history. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the second half of the life story of Genghis Khan, the man who created the Mongolian Empire and led it to early greatness as it expanded across Asia and into Europe. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the first half of the life story of Genghis Khan, the man who forged the largest contiguous empire that history has ever seen. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of the famous Roman general and statesman, Julius Caesar, who played an instrumental role in the transition between the Roman Republic and Roman Empire.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn about the life and times of the famous Renaissance man Leonardo da Vinci, whose genius encompassed everything from art to engineering, anatomy to aerodynamics, and much more besides.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of one of the most important literary figures in human history: William Shakespeare, who changed the English language forever with his poems and plays.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the life story of one of the greatest conquerors the world has ever seen: Alexander the Great, who in his short life forged a huge empire that spanned from Egypt to India.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of the mighty Saladin, the Kurdish sultan who united much of the 12th century Muslim world and recaptured Jerusalem, triggering the Third Crusade.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn about the disastrous Battle of Karansebes, the speedy surgeon Robert Liston, the Pig War (which hardly features any pigs at all), the submarine H.L. Henley which was very good at half its job, the broadsword-wielding Fighting Jack Churchill, and the fraternal rivalry that led to the establishment of both Adidas and Puma.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the story of one of Georgia's greatest monarchs: the female king, Tamar the Great.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of the Cuban Missile Crisis, one of the closest points humanity ever came to global thermonuclear war.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the history of one of the 20th century's most important technological developments that would go on to shape history and modern current affairs: nuclear weapons.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the second half of the tale of Bartholomew Roberts and his ultimate downfall and death, and learn about the role of things like the Jolly Roger during the Golden Age of Piracy.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the first half of the tale of Bartholomew Roberts, one of history's most successful pirates, and learn about other pirate-related topics such as various Pirate Codes that once governed different pirate ships.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the life story of Ludwig van Beethoven, one of the greatest composers in history who created some of the most acclaimed and celebrated musical works, while suffering from debilitating hearing loss.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, go on a tour of the history of the land we today call Ukraine and the people that call it home, from Neolithic tribes to Slavic migrants, from Cossack freedom fighters to those subjugated by the Russian Empire, and discover some of the historical context to the horrendous and needless conflict taking place in Ukraine right now.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the tale of Le Loi, the Vietnamese national hero who delivered his people from the invading colonial Ming dynasty.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, continue to learn about the life and times of Cleopatra VII Philopator, who played a significant role in not only the governance of Egypt but also the fall of the Roman Republic and rise of the Roman Empire.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, get to know one of the most famous figures from ancient history, Cleopatra VII Philopator, and learn how in her younger days she secured her crown against her enemies and became close to Julius Caesar.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the hilarious and unbelievable story of the Capture of Guam, when a heavily-armed US naval convoy took control of the island of Guam from Spain - without shedding a single drop of blood.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the incredible story of Operation Mincemeat, one of the most elaborate and unbelievable intelligence ruses in history.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of the Great Train Robbery, when in 1963 a group of gang members held up and robbed a mail train in England, before fleeing to their hideout and playing Monopoly with their ill-gotten gains.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn what happened during the decisive battles of Salamis and Plataea, when the Greeks finally gained the upper hand in the Greco-Persian Wars, and how these battles went on to affect the overall outcome of the war.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of the Battle of Thermopylae, when a small force of Greek hoplites held off and fought a brave last stand against an overwhelmingly large Persian army as part of the Greco-Persian Wars.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the story of the Battle of Marathon, a battle of immense importance not just in ancient history, but modern world history as well - and learn the true tale of the origin of the modern running race.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the ridiculous story of the 1908 New York to Paris Race, which involved everything from plans to drive across the sea, blatant and outright cheating, and one team even selling their racecar en route.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, begin to understand an important chapter in Ireland's tragic and complicated history: the Nine Years' War, which effectively brought about the end of an autonomous Gaelic Ireland.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn the incredible life story of Caravaggio, one of the most famous painters in history - he wasn't just a masterful artist, however, but a lifelong street brawler who got into all sorts of trouble for it throughout his entire life.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of Fritz Duquesne, a South African who throughout his adventure-filled life was a hunter, soldier, spy, writer, and... film publicist? whose lifelong hatred of the British saw him spy against them in both world wars.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the story behind Australia's first (and only) military coup, when William Bligh was overthrown as governor of New South Wales - the Rum Rebellion.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the rest of the life story of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, how he set himself up as a successful performer and composer in Vienna, and discover his lifelong love of scatological humour.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the first half of the life story of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and his adventures as a child and young man as he travelled Europe, performing as a child virtuoso and honing his craft as a legendary composer.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the story of Zoe and Theodora Porphyrogenita, two sisters who rose to power in the ruthless, cutthroat world of Byzantine politics.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the story of the richest man in ancient Rome, who was a real nasty piece of work: Marcus Licinius Crassus.

https://halfarsedhistory.files.wordpress.com/2021/10/175-marcus-licinius-crassus.mp3

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, be entertained with some morbid comedy with the stories of ten more weird and ridiculous deaths from across history.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the very entertaining last words of four figures from throughout history: Marie Antoinette, John Segwick, James W. Rodgers, and Ian Fleming.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the comedic tragedy - or is it the tragic comedy - of the Erfurt Latrine Disaster, when a huge group of mediaeval German lords plunged into a cesspit in the middle of meeting with a king.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn the story behind Sapa Inca Atahualpa and the Massacre of Cajamarca, the defining moment in the collapse of the mighty Inca Empire. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, find out about King Shaka kaSenzangakhona, also known as Shaka Zulu, a man who went from a common soldier to a tribal chieftain to one of southern Africa's most powerful warrior-kings.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of Attila the Hun, one of history's most fearsome and bloodthirsty warriors, who rampaged across both the Eastern and Western Roman Empires.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the life story of Jadwiga of Poland, a monarch who guided her realm through a turbulent and difficult period while maintaining peace and prosperity for her people.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of the first woman known to history to have circumnavigated the globe, Jeanne Baret, who went from being an impoverished peasant to a widely-travelled botanist and entrepreneur who made history with her voyages.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the life story of one of history's most famous con men, Charles Ponzi, whose name is still attached to the swindle he pulled off (but didn't invent!) in 1920, when he fleeced millions from people in the US.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the extraordinary tale of Wild Bill Hickok, a famous gunslinger and lawman from the American Old West, who - amongst much else - once shot a man dead over a gold pocketwatch.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn about the Time of Troubles, a period of Russian history brought about by a succession crisis that involved chaos, invasions, lawlessness, and three different blokes pretending to be a long-lost heir who had come back from the dead.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of Moondyne Joe, a convict sent to Western Australia who became infamous for his many attempts to break out of jail there, and the adventures he had along the way.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the history of the bicycle, and how it went from being a wooden-wheeled, bone-shaking daredevil's plaything to a wonderful machine that influenced historical political movements and changed the way we travel.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn the history of the ancient Olympic Games, which featured everything from naked foot races to bloodsports, and became the precursor to the modern Olympic Games we all know so well today.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the full story of one of the biggest political scandals in recent memory - the Watergate Scandal, which brought low an entire presidential administration after a series of failed cover-ups.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn the long and surprisingly involved history of the Hudson's Bay Company - today a chain of department stores, but previously a fur trading company that became a foundationally important part of Canada.

https://halfarsedhistory.files.wordpress.com/2021/07/159-hudsons-bay-company.mp3

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the history of the structures that became mediaeval Europe's military, political, economic, and administrative focal points: the castle, a fortified home for wealthy ruling nobles.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the story of Rodrigo Díaz de Vivar, better known to history as El Cid, a famous Spanish knight who fought for and against both Christians and Muslims in mediaeval Iberia.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, uncover the bloody, decades-long feud between two rival Frankish queens from the Early Middle Ages, Brunhilda and Fredegund.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, be amazed at the ridiculous story of the Battle of Castle Itter, the only recorded time when American and German soldiers fought side-by-side in the Second World War.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the origin story of the modern state of Portugal, and the tale of the man who wrought its independence: Afonso I of Portugal.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, discover the story of the Forty-Seven Ronin, a group of ex-samurai who hatched a two-year-long plot to avenge the death of their fallen lord and reclaim his lost honour.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the tale of the Eureka Rebellion, the closest Australian colonists ever came to a full-scale political uprising after a harsh tax led gold miners to take up arms against the government.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, learn how the most significant medical breakthrough in human history - the discovery of penicillin - resulted in a revolution in human health thanks to the work of some talented and dedicated scientists.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear the full story of the Apollo Program, the monumental scientific endeavour that successfully landed humans on the Moon for the first time in history. 

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, be amazed at an untold piece of Scottish History: the Darien Scheme, when Scotland attempted to start a colony in Central America, in the hopes of bridging the Atlantic and the Pacific Oceans.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, be amazed by the foolish optimism of Salomon Andree and his attempt to reach the North Pole - by hot-air balloon.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, be amazed by the story of Leo Major, a Canadian soldier who single-handedly (and single-eyededly) liberated a Dutch town.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, find out about the absolute lunacy that was the Fenian Raids, where a group of Irish nationalists invaded Canada to secure freedom for the Emerald Isle.

In this episode of Half-Arsed History, hear about how Olga of Kyiv took brutal vengeance for her husband's murder by burning down a city and burying her enemies alive.