Healing with WORTH

We have Valerie Hamaker back with us for Part 2 talking about the divine in us! 

If you have not listened to Part 1, we encourage you to do so as it is a precursor for this episode. 

Some highlights to look forward to in this episode: 

• Women's psychological development
• Validation of feeling blame for sexual misbehaviors
• Sexual history/messaging from culture
• Sexuality being a good part on oneself
• Psychological growth
• Contracts in a marriage
• Using a partner's addiction to stay underdeveloped
• Not feeling emotional connection, but longing for sexual connection
• Sexual recovery
• Someone going through divorce who wants to grow in their sexual development

Please listen in to learn more about these!

Show Notes:

We have the wonderful Valerie Hamaker on the podcast today to talk about the divine that we have in each of us!

We are back with Linda Winegar to talk about two truths and a lie! Meaning the voices in our head. 

Some highlights of this episode: 

• "Jesus doesn't talk to you like that" 
• Playing Two Truths and a Lie with Linda
• Alma 48
• How to identify when God speaks to us
• How to stand up against the enemy, Satan

Show Notes: 

We are here today with Linda Winegar to talk about some truths and lies that we may find throughout our healing! 

First, we discuss the many passion projects Linda has, and the need that she felt in 2018 to drop all of them when she had her most recent D-day. She felt as though she needed to focus on being a wife and a mother, but that soon seemed to send her into a dark place. Listen in to see why passion projects helped Linda to go forward in her healing. 

Linda then goes into her story in how she found Life Changing Services, Men of Moroni, and WORTH. 

She then talks about reading the book "Like Dragons Did They Fight" by Maurice Harker. Linda says she finds a new perspective with the way we are tempted from the adversary. It helped her to find mercy and compassion in her marriage. 

Show Notes: 

We are back with Amie Woosley to dicuss Part 2!

In this episode, we are discussing the other end of divorce. Not just the decision, but after you have made the decision, post divorce. What will life look like after divorce? Amie helps us dive a little deeper into this phase of life and what it might look like. 

First, we get into how to tell someone of our decision and really get into why we might be telling them. Amie then encourages anyone who is going through the divorce process to look into getting a coach. She goes into why it is such a helpful resource to help us stay emotionally regulated. Our guest also encourages to join a WORTH group that may also aid in not feeling alone during the process. We go over how to join a WORTH group and will also include that in the show notes below. 

After divorce, you might find the need to connect more to yourself. Amie inspires us to date ourselves. Find what we really like and what we don't like. That could be going to a restaurant or a movie by yourself. This may be a little nerve wracking at first, but we may need to dive into why it feels that way. 

Then we discuss communicating with your ex after divorce and ways to help with that, so you can provide safety for yourself. 

At the end of this episode, you may find a golden nugget! 

Show Notes:

We have back with us the amazing life coach, Amie Woosley, to talk about divorce! She first dives into explaining that in our culture, we may feel as though divorce isn't an option. There may also be a lot of shame surrounding it being "bad" or "wrong". Amie encourages that if you are making the decision, step into it and own it. 

She then goes into the steps she takes to help those who are contemplating divorce. First, Amie helps them to unpack the things their brain is offering them. It could range from fear around ruining your children's life to taking care of the finances. Our guest tells of a personal story of how she overcame these fears.

Amie gives us some hope by informing us life does not go as expected and that there is the possibility that we didn't get it wrong with the knowledge that we had. 

Please listen in for more insights and thoughts around the decision of divorce! 

Show Notes:

We are back today with Dallin Bruun on the podcast for a guided meditation! In this meditation, we are going to try to put our betrayal trauma aside for a moment, and come up for some air of safety and peace. 

To prepare, Dallin asks us to minimize outside distractions, turn off a light, and sit comfortably. He also gives us two instructions as we follow along:

• Focus on breathing 
• Relax any potential that we could be doing it wrong 

Guided meditation (13:00-28:56)

He teaches that mindfulness is a way that we can back away from our current situation with a bit of distance. We find that this is giving our identity a break by choosing to focus on something that is inherently safe. It can also help us learn to tolerate the voices in our head. 

Dallin says that mindfulness did not take away the "mess", but it helped aid in a strong sense of self love and compassion. It is just another tool in our tool-belt! 

Show Notes: 

As promised, we have Dallin Bruun on the podcast with us today! Dallin specializes in mindfulness based stress reduction. He is a teacher in Lindon, Utah and  has traveled all over the world, attending mindfulness retreats and receiving training from the very best. Dallin has helped individuals use mindfulness to overcome trauma addiction, stress, depression, and a variety of other mental health issues. He has also worked with Dr. Kevin Skinner, a pioneer for mindfulness, for the past 5-6 years applying the principle to help clients in betrayal trauma.

In this episode, Dallin tells us that the essence of mindfulness can be summarized in two simple elements: 

1. To show up, be conscious, and present

2. Relax control and management  

You may find that some of your daily activities are using the practice of mindfulness such as playing with your grandkids or a favorite pet. 

Our hosts and Dallin also dive into ruminating thoughts, and how mindfulness can help with these.

We hope you look forward to next week when we have Dallin back on to walks us through a guided meditation! Our hosts mention that they could have fallen asleep, it was so calm and peaceful. 

Show Notes: 

Carrie Skarda is back on our podcast today! This week, she is here to talk more about how mindfulness and meditation can move us into a place of creativity, be a source that can help us to have better prayers and relationship with Jesus Christ, and experiencing forgiveness. 

We first dive into the account of when God created the Earth, and that the process was good even when there was much chaos. Carrie points out that no matter our circumstances that surround us, we can be anchored in stillness to act in a way that align with our value systems. If we find ourselves being mindful, we can go from a place of reactivity to creativity. 

Carrie quotes President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, David O. McKay, saying, "I think we pay too little attention to the value of meditation. A principle of devotion in our worship. There are two elements. One is spiritual communion arising from our own meditation. The other instruction from others, particularly those who have authority to guide and instruct us of the two, the more profitable introspection is the meditation. Meditation is a form of prayer." She informs us that we don't always have to be talking with Jesus Christ, but that sometimes prayer is just listening and letting Him warm you.

The last point that Carrie discusses is forgiveness. Whatever state you are in, there can be forgiveness. This does not always mean reconciliation with a spouse or even connection to our best self. It is trusting God and that He will walk this journey with us. Listen in for a personal story that Carrie shares of her own experience with this! 

Show Notes:

We have the wonderful, Carrie Skarda, joining our podcast today! She is a licensed clinical psychologist who has practiced for over 20 years in Salt Lake City, where she lives with her husband and two children. Carrie grew up in Michigan and graduated from Brigham Young University. She is a peace activist as well as a philanthropist. She presents at Sixteen Stones Center for growth and is the co-author of the book "The Power of Stillness".

In this episode, we are going to be talking to her today about mindfulness and meditation. Carrie has her own personal experience with betrayal trauma which led her into the world of these two helpful concepts. She informs us that mindfulness is a way of being aware of this moment and whatever is unfolding in the present from a wise, calm and still place, whereas meditation is a concentrated time set aside. Below are eight ideas that we cover more in depth with Carrie of ways that may help those who experience betrayal trauma:

How mindfulness and meditation can help you:

1. Cope with bad surprises
2. Manage negative thinking
3. See what is really happening more clearly
4. Move out of reactivity
5. Move into creativity
6. Have better prayers
7. Connect to the Savior in the midst of the pain
8. Experience forgiveness

We will be having Carrie back on the podcast next week with more about how mindfulness and meditation can move us into a place of creativity and be a source that can help us to have better prayers and relationship with Jesus Christ. Stay tuned! 

Show Notes: 

For the month of March, we wanted to focus on March Mindfulness!

In this fast moving paced world with so many distractions, we thought we'd dive deeper into ways we can be more present in our lives. There may be times especially experiencing betrayal trauma where you have felt that if you could do or be more, it would get easier. In the coming episodes, we'll learn that slowing down, breathing, really honing into our emotions, and where they are in our bodies can help us move forward. We will be having guests Carrie Skarda and Dallin Bruun who will help us understand how we can be more mindful in our lives. It can become a very helpful tool and coping mechanism, but it is not a solution to the problem. 

Carrie Skarda is a co-author of a book called "The Power of Stillness". She talks about our relationship with God and prayer. With Dallin, he specifically does a guided meditation to help us become more familiar with them. 

We hope you are excited for this upcoming month of mindfulness and our guests who will be joining us! Please listen in for ideas of how to be more mindful! 

Show Notes:

We have Emily Sanchez on the podcast with us today! Emily Romney Sanchez grew up in a competitive environment and was taught to achieve goals and succeed from her parents and coaches in music and sports through college.  Those coaches inspired her to become a life coach as a way to continually grow, reach higher and motivate others.  Her experience started early as she spoke throughout Arizona on education issues and domestic violence. Through her divorce and single parenthood she managed two different insurance agencies.  After remarrying, she finished her Bachelors degree from NAU and completed training and certification through Strategic Intervention, Robbins/Madanes training, APSATS, IFS and is currently pursuing her master's degree in social work from WNMU.  She is a Divorce Coach who works with distinguished family law attorney, Kevin Jensen, offering seminars and coaching.  She is supported by an amazing husband, Yasser Sanchez, and 5 children.  You can find her on Facebook, Instagram and Apple Podcasts as ldsdivorcecoach.

In this episode, we discuss how to start to shoot for the stars and see our higher self even while experiencing betrayal trauma. We look into why we may struggle with this starting with our society and past. To get out of these meaning frames, Emily encourages us to question our core beliefs. "What do you desire?" As you dive deeper, you may receive retaliation from your spouse or others when bringing up a desire you have. It may be uncomfortable, but you will find that it fills up your core and self respect. 

Emily also reminds us that if we are not in a place to do this, to give ourselves grace. 

Please listen in next week for Part 2 as we go more into the topic of divorce! 

Show Notes: 

Back today with another in our analogy series, and this one is called the Tennis Ball analogy! We want to credit this one to Natalie Hoffman who has written a blog post about it called "How Will You Know Your Marriage is Over?" that we will link below in the show notes. 

In this episode, we are going to go over how Natalie explains this analogy and how it might apply to our life. For a moment, let's pretend that your relationship is like a game of tennis. The ball is going back and forth between you and your spouse. Once in awhile the ball drops, which may represent relationship conflict. When it drops on your side, you pick up the ball and resolve the conflict. Sometimes, it drops on your spouse's side, but you find that he may not want to pick it up. So what do you do? You go over to his side and pick up the ball because you want the game to keep going. Please listen in to find ways of how this might apply to your relationship! You may find that this analogy usually captures the question, "Should I stay, or should I go?" 

Show Notes: 

We are back today with Part 2 about getting to our why's about divorce with Roxanne Granata! 

Last week, we discussed our why's about staying and how to navigate that.  If you missed this episode, please see show notes to listen in as there are insights for staying and divorcing as well. 

In this episode, we are talking more about moving into separation and possibly divorce and what that might look like. One question Roxanne encourages us to ask ourselves to think more about is "Do I feel more peaceful being separated/distancing myself than I do when we're together?" She tells us that trusting our gut will help guide us through these decisions, but that choice does not need to be made immediately. There also may be some fear of the possibilities after divorce, but she also gives experiences of the change that might result because of that decision. 

Please listen in for insights of the decision of divorce and thoughts/ideas of how to navigate that. Ultimate question: What is the life you want to have and experience?

Show Notes:

We are back today as promised with a new episode with the lovely Roxanne Granata! Roxanne is a betrayal trauma coach, the author of Cutting Ties, the host of the Choose In Podcast and a speaker and advocate helping others move through trauma and other life problems and on to a happy and healing life. She has been divorced and now remarried for the past 2 years. Together they have 7 children and one grandbaby. Roxanne has graciously accepted to come on to discuss the topic of divorce, as that as been highly requested by you, our listeners. 

In this episode, we discuss the why's of staying in a marriage.  Roxanne informs us that there might be two common reasons why we may fear the thought of divorce and helps us to recognize some underlying feelings that might be associated with these. If we choose to stay, there may be some "poisonous" behaviors present that we may need to watch out for. She gives us a few examples, as well as ideas of how to keep ourselves safe and healthy. 

Next week we will be back with part 2 on the "why's of divorce" and we hope you'll listen in as both give great insights! 

Show Notes: 

If you would like more information on Roxanne Granata, please visit her website and instagram below: 

Re-releasing Part 2 of our interview with Dr. Jill Manning! 

This episode is in response to a listener question on how to set boundaries.  In the previous episode we addressed what boundaries are, what they are not, and how to set them.  In this episode we will be discussing barriers to boundaries, reasons why we have a hard time setting and keeping boundaries, and how to overcome these barriers.

The quicker that we can learn to be effective in identifying, finding, setting boundaries, and forcing and upholding those when, and if they are violated, will be a gift to healing for both people. We are not suggesting the person setting boundaries is responsible for both people's healing paths, but it will have a positive effect on the whole family.

We are grateful to have Dr. Jill Manning, Ph.D., LMFT, CCPS, CCTP, BC-TMH with us to discuss the topic of boundaries. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in working with individuals impacted by betrayal trauma in their primary relationship.

Over the last 20 years, her academic and clinical work has been featured in numerous peer review journals. Television programs, TV shows, magazine articles, including the Oprah magazine. She is a former social science fellow at the heritage foundation in Washington, DC. And while she was in that role, she testified before the US Senate subcommittee about the harms of pornography on the family.

She currently serves on the board of directors and the advisory council for Fight The New Drug. She is a native of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and currently lives in Colorado with her husband and two daughters. Thank you for sharing you time and expertise with us Dr. Manning.

Make sure to check out our show notes with resources Dr. Manning shared with us.

Show Notes and Resources:

1. Personal Boundaries: A Worksheet for Betrayed Individuals

To start off the year, we are re-releasing this episode with Jill Manning on Boundaries! We will be back in 2 weeks with a new podcast for you with Roxanne Granata! 

During our healing journey we hear how important boundaries are, but how do we know what boundaries we need and then how do we set them in our relationships?

This episode is in response to a listener question on how to set boundaries.  This can be a really difficult concept for some people to understand, especially if you haven't been used to setting them.  It's one of the key components related to our healing , especially if we continue to be in a relationship where there have been patterns of lying present, we really need to protect ourselves.  Some of the takeaways that we would love for you listeners is 

• Understanding what a boundary is, and what it's not
• The different types of boundaries
• Why boundaries are essential to our healing
• Where do we begin

We are grateful to have Dr. Jill Manning, Ph.D., LMFT, CCPS, CCTP, BC-TMH with us to discuss the topic of boundaries. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in working with individuals impacted by betrayal trauma in their primary relationship.

Over the last 20 years, her academic and clinical work has been featured in numerous peer review journals. Television programs, TV shows, magazine articles, including the Oprah magazine. She is a former social science fellow at the heritage foundation in Washington, DC. And while she was in that role, she testified before the US Senate subcommittee about the harms of pornography on the family.

She currently serves on the board of directors and the advisory council for Fight The New Drug. She is a native of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and currently lives in Colorado with her husband and two daughters. Thank you for sharing you time and expertise with us Dr. Manning.

Make sure to check out our show notes with resources Dr. Manning shared with us.

Show Notes and Resources:

1. Personal Boundaries: A Worksheet for Betrayed Individuals

Happy New Year! We are so excited to start this year off with you and highlights that are coming!

Many of you have asked to hear more of topics on divorce and how to navigate that. We are fulfilling the request! To help us discuss these, we have invited Roxanne Granata, Amie Woosley, and Emily Sanchez to help us better understand when it might be time to consider a divorce or when you might know when to stay married. We hope that you will watch out for these podcasts as they will be released in the first few months of this year! Please listen in as they share perspective that could be helpful for many.

We also want to start the new year with a little fun! If you go on apple podcasts and give us a review, we will be reading the review and calling out tag names during our podcast. When and if yours's is called, we will be sending you a little gift from us to say thank you. Our thank you of helping us reach other women who may be experiencing betrayal trauma in silence who could receive the help that they need.

Thank you for listening and we hope you'll continue to! 

Show Notes: 

To end the year with a bang, we wanted to do a recap of some of our favorite episodes from 2021! It has been a great year with so many wonderful guests and professionals that we've had the pleasure of interviewing on the podcast. They have given us insight into healing, and we hope that you have found validation, guidance and hope in your journey through these episodes. If you would like to listen to any of the podcasts mentioned in the episode, some will be included in the show notes below. 

We want to wish you all a Merry Christmas! In this episode, we discuss the Macaroni Necklace Analogy. It is also known as the airplane or buffalo/squirrel analogy. 

Have you ever received a macaroni necklace from your child that they made at school that day? You get so excited because they feel so proud of their efforts and want you to wear/be proud of it too. You may smile and wear it around the house, but at the end of the day, you won't wear it to church. 

This can often correlate with the relationship we have with our spouse and their sexual behaviors. If you are interested in learning how, please listen in!

We recommend you say no to the macaroni necklaces this year for Christmas and know that your safety is important. 

Show Notes: 

We have a special episode for you today! Naomi and Janeen were invited to be on the amazing Choose To Be podcast with Choose Recovery Services' therapist Alana Gordon and Amie Woosley.

Our hosts share a little bit more about their stories and how they came to be the hosts of the Healing with Worth podcast. 

We discuss the importance of having support when you are going through betrayal trauma or divorce, struggles that can arise in religious culture through healing, how to know when we come to a point where we need help, and gaining worth and empowerment in your journey. 

 Hopefully this helps you get to know our hosts just a little bit better! 

Show Notes: 

Another analogy to our series! 

Here we are discussing the greenhouse analogy. This term, along with many others, comes from the director of Life Changing Services, Maurice Harker, who has studied psychology and human relationships for the last 25+ years. He often uses this term to help those women who are looking to repair their marriages, but it can also be applied to those who are needing distance to provide safety for themselves. 

To give a better understanding, we go over the ways a greenhouse provides safety for a plant to survive and thrive such as supplying the proper temperature, nutrients, sunlight, water, etc. It also protects the plant from outside elements such as freezing or scalding temperatures. 

This same concept can be applied to women who are experiencing betrayal trauma. They may have felt the affects of outside forces, so now they find they are needing to provide safety for themselves. Listen in to find ways of how to do that! 

Show Notes: 

We have Worth therapist, Jody VanDrimmelen back with us to talk about weather checking and when the wind blows analogies!

The weather checking analogy comes from the founder and director of Life Changing Services, Maurice Harker. If you would like to read more about it, you can follow the link below. 

This concept of weather checking is much like how we check the weather outside to determine how we dress, navigate possibly dangerous areas, and what path we take to our destination. To determine if it is safe to engage with our spouse, we might put our hand on his chest to see what the reaction might be. 

We also discuss the concept of when the wind blows. This idea often corresponds with weather checking because you may be noticing different behaviors in your spouse. He may be telling you everything is fine, but your gut is telling you something different. Listen in to hear of ways that we might find the need to disconnect to a safe distance if red flags arise or if everything is okay. 

Show Notes: 

Today, we are explaining the buffalo/cow analogy! 

This analogy comes from Rory Vanden in his book "Take the Stairs". He indicates in his book that we all have storms in our lives. Rory grew up in the state of Colorado. Because of the topographical landscape, it's one of the only places in the world that has buffalo and cows. When storms start brewing, both of these animals react in different ways. Listen in to see how! 

Sometimes, we may be in denial of the storms in our own lives which is part of the grieving process. We don't realize the storm that is coming or even the storm that may be already here. We talk a little about our own experience with this, and the process of becoming aware. 

Show Notes: 

We are back with Jody Steurer and Jamee Adams for Part 2 of our discussion talking more about anger in social situations as well as church culture!

Talking about anger, we feel that we cannot talk about boundaries along with it. One of the reasons we may feel anger is because of the expectations of other people that we might do things for. If we do feel anger, that may mean that we may need to set a boundary with that person. It might be really scary to set boundaries because of the way the other person might react. Boundaries will definitely test our relationships with the people around us. As Jody said in the podcast, "Saying what I need to say matters more than preserving a dysfunctional relationship." 

Speaking up, despite the consequences, can fuel something inside of us to keep doing so. At times, our speaking up can be perceived as having anger even if we do not feel that emotion. Anger can then be used as a defense mechanism against us. We may feel the need to change our behavior in how we spoke up. Jamee gives us the reminder that "the battle is often less with the people in our lives than it is within our own head." Jody and Jamee give us a few ways to get out of our own head. Listen in to find out those ways!

Show Notes: 

We are interviewing two sisters in this episode, Jody Steurer and Jamee Adams! These women are the creators of the Speak Up Sister podcast (link below). Grounded in the doctorine of the church of Jesus Christ, Jamee and Jody draw from His gospel and the latest scientific research to bring validation, education, tools and support to women all over the world. They're conversations are often geared towards women who want to speak up. In their podcasts, they give a little more insight into why we don't, why our voices need to be heard, and how we can do that. 

The topic that we wanted to discuss with them today is anger and women having the opportunity to speak up. 

From the Speak Up Sister podcast, “Pretending we don’t feel anger (which is really just avoiding), stuffing anger, talking ourselves out of it… all these can keep us from using our voices about things that really matter.”  — from Episode 3, Anger, Part 1

Last week, we spent a little time talking about anger, so we thought this would be the perfect follow up episode to provide more understanding on the subject. We discuss experiences with our parent(s), spouse, and children of why we might feel anger or why we have the thoughts about our anger. 

Make sure to tune in next week for Part 2 talking more about anger in social and church culture with Jody and Jamee! 

Show Notes: 

In this episode, we discuss the emotion of anger. We feel that there are a lot of misconceptions around anger, so we wanted to talk a little more in depth. To help us in this task, we are also pulling from Harriet Lerner's book "The Dance of Anger" to better help us explain from a therapist! 

Harriet Lerner says, "Anger exists for a reason, and it always deserves our attention and respect." 

Have many of us felt that feeling anger was wrong? 

Pioneer Woman Mode, a term Maurice Harker, director of Life Changing Services, deemed for women who are struggling in the world of their spouses sexual misbehaviors. This term has been used throughout many of our podcasts, so we thought we'd dive a little deeper into explaining what really is "pioneer woman mode".

"Pioneer Woman mode embodies the sacrifice that Mormon Utah Pioneer women made. These women were thrust from their homes, often with their children and little or no provisions. They were forced to walk, sometimes barefoot, pulling handcarts with their belongings, responsible for providing for their needs and those of their children.

Are you feeling stuck in your betrayal trauma? Maybe don't understand why? 

We have Tammy Gustafson back with us in this episode. She helps us go over the ways we might get stuck in our healing process from betrayal trauma. Below she lists the most common ways and a little insight into why:

1. Shame

2. Anger

3. Focusing on his emotions rather than hers

4. He's doing a lot of work, but there's no change

5. The question: Should I stay or should I go? 

Show Notes:

What a great way to end our discussion on the ways betrayal trauma affects our relationship with God, priesthood leaders, and church culture! We do hope that you feel the spirit of healing as Kim Day gives us more insight into her personal story on this episode! 

Kim opens up and talks about a personal experience she had when she first came into Worth as a participant. She had written a letter to a general authority about the struggles that she herself and others in the Worth program were experiencing with betrayal trauma. Soon after writing the letter, she was reminded of an old bible story that was an answer to many of her questions. Much to her surprise, she also later received a response to the letter she wrote. 

Listen in to find more about it!

Show Notes: 

You can find the full story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 21-22 of the bible. 

We have Worth therapist, Kim Day back with us talking about betrayal trauma and the way it affects our relationship with God, priesthood leaders, and church culture. In this episode, we dive a little deeper into the expectations we have around the church and possible ways of how to reconcile them. 

• First, starting off by praying to God if we should continue into marriage with a future spouse, but later finding out that there is a pornography addiction/sexual misbehaviors. We may start to question ourselves receiving revelation and the trust we have with God. Kim then gives a possible alternative to this whole experience! 
• Second, we touch on the topic of the expectations we might have for our priesthood leaders, more specifically our bishops. We as a church culture, want Bishops to fix all problems; including ours. That is their job right? Here in this episode, we find more about what their role might look like in this situation. 

Are there resources for teen girls and women struggling with pornography?  Statistics show that 30% of women struggle with pornography.  This is not a "male" problem and women need help too.  

We sat down with Aneladee Milne, director of Daughters of Light and Women Warriors of Light part of Life Changing Services to learn more about these programs and how they help teen girls and women.  

This program helps with issues girls and women face. 

• Self-harm
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Eating disorders
• Low self-worth
• Risky behaviors
• Sexual misbehavior
• Overwhelming sadness

One more re-release for summer before new episodes come back next week! We hope you've enjoyed them. 

There was so much more we felt we wanted to cover on the topic of sexual abuse that we are back with clinicians Alana Gordon and Kimberly Day.

Kim and Alana explain that we may have received unhealthy ideas or messages growing up about sexuality from our families of origin, church culture, or friends.  

• We discuss what is healthy sexuality vs unhealthy sexuality
  
• What are unhealthy messages regarding sexuality
  
• How to find a safe person to converse about sexuality in your relationship.
  
• What impact can this have on our recovery?
  

Show Notes:

Another re-release of some of our favorite episodes during this summer break with all of you. We will have new episodes for you in September! 

We are back with clinicians Alana Gordon and Kimberly Day to discuss another aspect of abuse; Sexual Abuse.  Kim expresses that there is a difference between sexual impact caused by a spouse's addiction and unhealthy sexual behaviors versus sexual abuse.  

• We discuss how these two aspects can manifest in a relationship. 
• What is Sexual Abuse in a relationship?  
• What are the signs of sexual abuse and unhealthy sexuality in a relationship?  
• What impact can this have on our sexual relationship?

Show Notes:

As we take a little summer break with all of you, we wanted to re-release some of our favorite episodes. We will have new episodes for you in September! 

As we take a little summer break we wanted to re-release some of our favorite episodes.  We will have new episodes for you in September!

We had the pleasure of having licensed clinician Jeanne Vattuone coming and speaking to us on the topic of healthy sexuality.  Jeanne breaks us out of our comfort zone as she addresses sensitive topics:

What does healthy sexuality look like in a relationship?  What is mutual consent in a sexual relationship?  

Jeanne has been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker since 1998.  She is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, trained with Dr. Patrick Carnes, and is a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Candidate.  Jeanne works with sex addicts and their partners providing individual, group, and couples therapy.  She is also trained in EMDR.  Jeanne is a CSAT and a CCPS Supervisor. 

In this last interview with author Noelle McBride she shares with us that we are meant to experience joy in this life, in every facet of our lives, through trials, heartache, and repentance.  When we are in the midst of trials, trauma and heartache, what can this mean for us and how can we access this joy?  

Is joy possible when going through betrayal trauma, a separation, or divorce?  In this second interview with author Noelle McBride she shares with us how becoming a "ruthless editor of her life" helped her find joy going through divorce.  Often as latter-day saint women, we struggle with wondering where we belong in the great plan of happiness if our lives are looking very different from how that plan is typically perscribed.  Noelle shares with us what things she needed to remove from her life, and changes she made to find that joy and happiness.  

If you haven't listened to the first episode with Noelle make sure to go back and listen to Episode 58.

Show Notes:

After betrayal there are many internal struggles that a mother faces as she tries to meet her own emotional needs and then balance those with the needs of her children.  In the hard moments we "should ourselves" or in other words give ourselves guilt trips about all the things we think we should be doing.  That can be pretty common with women in general, but then you throw the mom guilt in with betrayal trauma and it can heighten destructive unhealthy patterns.  We are so grateful for KayLee Dunn coming on the podcast to explain how betrayal trauma affects mothering and how to connect with our children and balance our own healing.  We love KayLee's honest and realistic approach to mothering while dealing with betrayal trauma.  We hope that you will feel validated and uplifted as we did talking with her!

Kaylee is an EMDR therapist and she specializes in betrayal, trauma, and unwanted sexual behaviors. She provides tele-health therapy services to women and men in Utah and Arizona.  She also co facilitates a weekly live group discussion through her free Facebook community called Awake Resilience From Betrayal. Kaylee is also a mom to triplets who are seven and twins who are five years old. 

Show Notes: