I Have Seen Niagara
By Niagara Company
Featured weekly on Wave Farm Radio, WGXC-90.7 FM. www.wavefarm.org
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I Have Seen NiagaraJul 25, 2022
Birthday (Blizzard of 2018)
In our second story about famous blizzards of Niagara Falls, an idiot gets a chance at a new life, but it might cost him his own. If you like self-help tapes, snow worship, and deformed man-babies, this creepy cringer is for you.
Written by Ric Royer
Sounds by G Lucas Crane
Voices: Ric Royer, Admiral Grey, Julia Mounsey, Zach Keebaugh, Jeff Benjamin.
New Horizons Adult Boutique (Blizzard of '95)
Welcome to a new season. In the next batch of episodes, we bring you stories about notable blizzards from Niagara Falls. Every snowstorm in Niagara seems to bring with it a mysterious energy, covering Niagara in a blanket of weird. In our first episode, we go back to the Blizzard of '95, where some young slackers hanging out in an adult video store find a VHS tape advertising "The Most Shocking Footage Ever," and boy does it deliver.
Written and narrated by Ric Royer
Sounds by G Lucas Crane and L.A. Fontaine
Additional vocals by Sarah Reiter and Zack Keebaugh
A juicy tidbit to satisfy the meaty cravings of our listeners as we work up a new season of episodes. This one is called THE LENG! The legend of the woman with a face larger than her own head!
Written by Ric Royer
The Leng played by Sarah Reiter
Additional vocals by Angela Moore and G Lucas Crane
Sounds by G Lucas Crane
The House in Love Canal part 3 of 3: The Knowing Spirit
A recap and capping of our story of the poisoned neighborhood of Love Canal. Now held captive in the Niagara Falls Crazy Asylum, the Lord of the Mushroom house delivers prophecies for clandestine government agencies. They believe all of his predictions, except for the one he was sent back in time to deliver.
House in Love Canal part 2; The Chemical Kingdom
The stubborn, sole inhabitant of Love Canal, who dismissed the reports of toxic waste in the neighborhood as "baloney," becomes a sudden believer when a toxic life form takes him hostage in his home and proposes marriage. In his attempt to escape, he gets sucked into a time warp pipe and sent back twenty years. He finds himself in the flourishing new neighborhood of Love Canal, and now he's gone from the only disbeliever, to the only one who knows its toxic fate.
Written by E.C. Norwood
Narrated by Ric Royer, G Lucas Crane and Angela Moore.
Sound by G Lucas Crane
The House in Love Canal, part 1: Lord of the Mushroom House
The new season of IHSN takes a deep dive into Love Canal, the neighborhood in Niagara Falls that was built upon the burial grounds of 21,000 tons of toxic waste. Love Canal became the site of the country's biggest environmental disaster and led to the first Superfund.
After the chemical remains infiltrated the homes, playgrounds and school, the neighborhood was evacuated... except for one resident, who refused to leave. The House in Love Canal is a three-part story about this mysterious figure, and his home, which in the local lore bore the name, "The Mushroom House."
Story and narration by Ric Royer
Sounds by G Lucas Crane and L.A. Fontaine
Additional voices by Jeff Benjamin, Lois Gibbs and Zach Keebaugh
Season 6 is coming... Toxic Waste... and dynamite.... and stamps.
Our next season begins in just a couple weeks. This time, it will be one story broken into 5 episodes, called MOUNT CECOS
Beyond The Western Door: The Oldest Sport
For humans, the oldest and strongest sport is fear, and the oldest and strongest fear is Sports of the Unknown. That is, the sports that you don’t know you are playing. Ancient practices. Like lying, and epic fantasy, grifting and childlike wonderment. The queasy realization that you have been playing a sport unwittingly this whole time unites us across time. The most ancient sport of all, the one you don’t know you are playing. Smelling salts were invented in the 13th century. You thought you were rescuing your family from a burning building, but it was actually just a bunch of sport for a whole other class of people, peering at you.
We go Beyond the Western Door again, opening and closing the rat king of doors at the end of 2022, we hear echos of the cockroach essay at the bottom of a soggy dungeon, of a cute grifter lost in a sea of molten diamonds, of the many middle places we can become trapped in, and the ways we can be with you, everywhere.
Strange Sports of Western NY, part 5: HEARTBALL
In our season finale, we take you on a Choose Your Own Adventure ride through graveyards, bowling alleys and underground lairs. But when this adventure becomes a matter of life or death, you don't get to choose. Join us for a little game of sacrifice called... HEARTBALL.
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Written and narrated by Ric Royer
Soundtrack G Lucas Crane
Additional vocals: Tony Pepp.
Watch the season finale video by Zach Trebino on our youtube channel! https://youtu.be/Ez1PL_CDoO8
Strange Sports of Western NY, part 4: BOWLING
We return to Focazio's Lanes, a bowling alley in Niagara Falls famous for being the place where the hoagie was invented. We meet Deanna, the area's greatest bowler to ever have her fingers ripped off by a sinister bowling ball named Bocephus and then have her whole body turned into a spoon. As Knock Em Down Deanna always said, "What more you need to know, pal?"
Written by Zach Trebino
Deanna: Admiral Grey
Additional voices: Deanna Knapik, Tony Pepp, G Lucas Crane, Zach Trebino
Violin: Dee Yan Key
Sounds: G Lucas Crane
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Strange Sports of Western NY, part 3: COSPLAY FIGHT CLUB
Sports in one culture may sometimes seem strange to those in a different culture. But to those in Niagara Falls, there is nothing weird at all about The Upstate Mechs, a cosplay Fight Club for children that takes place in the woods surrounding St Joseph's Cemetery. It provides much mirth and merriment, and also anachronistic violence and chaos once the ancient Orange Cloud opens up time portal mind swap. You know, sports!
Written by G Lucas Crane.
Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane.
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Strange Sports of Western NY, part 2: GRAVEYARD BOXING
Sports reporter Brad Van Boxmeer, who is filling in for Bob Von Hayes (deceased), interviews Niagara Falls boxing legend Tony "Pepperoni" Pepp, in pursuit of the truth behind GRAVEYARD BOXING. Is it just an urban legend, or was it real? Does anybody care? Is Van Boxmeer just wasting our time and should he just go straight to hell? He's a crap reporter, a loser. Just sayin.
Written by Devon Fick.
Vocals: Zach Trebino, Tony Pepp.
Strange Sports of Western NY, part 1: FOOTBALL
Welcome to a new season of IHSN. Sports are so integral to everyday life in Niagara Falls, and in Western NY in general, that it can sometimes get a little creepy. In the next 6 episodes, we explore the weird world of sports in the Niagara region. There will be touchdowns, knockouts, wins, losses and a lot of murder and chaos.
There is one question that many in the area ask, but can't let themselves thoroughly explore, at risk of spiraling into an existential dilemma: What would happen if the Bills won the super bowl?
That question gets answered in our first episode, when a lonely truck driver stops off in Niagara Falls for a bite to eat at a tavern on Super Bowl Sunday, the night when the local Buffalo Bills win it all. As the Buffalo Sports Cosmic Curse is lifted, our truck driver is entangled in a strange and terrifying ritual.
Voices: L.A. Fontaine (trucker), Miriam Atkin (bartender), Zach Keebaugh, Matthew Thurber, Joseph Keckler, Zach Trebino.
Written by E.C. Norwood
Soundtrack by Bruce Allen
The Ice Bridge (in memory of David Crandall)
Last month, the I Have Seen Niagara team lost a good friend, and important member of the show, with the passing of David Crandall.
David's unmistakable noir baritone was featured in several episodes, most notably as the recurring character, The Sergeant. He was also a skilled audio engineer, and someone we could also go to for ideas and advice.
In this special episode, The Ice Bridge, we use some of our remaining bits from recording sessions with David, and retire his character by weaving him into the fabric of Niagara Falls.
We'll be taking the rest of the summer off to regroup, but in the meantime, here are a few of our favorite episodes feature David Crandall, enjoy:
"Dear Diary, I Kill Daredevils"
"Birthmark of the Beast"
"A Chimp Named Mark Twain"
"The Massive Entering"
The Ice Bridge was written and narrated by Ric Royer. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane. Additional vocals by Crane and David Crandall.
Beyond the Western Door: In the Forest Where Animals Talk
Have you ever wondered why anytime anyone needs to escape the many civic predators here in Niagara Falls, the first place they run is the forest? Well, running into the woods is part of a grand tradition in times of need here, and rightly so. For the woods surrounding the falls are full of helpful animals who can talk, and who love to provide advice, tidbits, and hints to whatever ails you. There is candy hidden in their feathers and an otter can always be counted upon to sharpen a pencil. If you even need a band-aid, they got you covered. But beware, animal advice is not always made for humans, and the music the animals play may not be fit for human ears. This time, Beyond the Western Door, we will try to hear their call.
Daredevils, part 5: The Wooden Spaceship
Season finale! A great wooden spacecraft is being built. The ship is intended to fly the last few remaining daredevils away from Niagara Falls, and to a new planet of refuge (or at least as far as Detroit). But the ship has one last stunt to pull before leaving town, it will either be the greatest daredevil stunt of all time, a complete disaster... or both.
Written and narrated by Ric Royer, soundtrack by G Lucas Crane. Additional voices by David Crandall, Jasmine Knapik, Zach Trebino, Zach Keebaugh.
Daredevils, part 4: "Dear Diary, I Kill Daredevils"
The daredevil body count is on the rise in the City of Niagara. The Sergeant of the Police Squad is playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the killer. Only, he is both the cat AND the mouse. How far will his mind let him go with delusions of heroism, when deep down he knows he's just a puppet for the twisted plans of the Mayor with the Unpronounceable Name? As he nears his breaking point, he turns to drinking and watching too much television. BUT WILL IT HELP??
Written by Zach Trebino. Voices: David Crandall (Sergeant), Admiral Grey (Ursula), Tony Pepperoni and Zach Trebino.
Soundtrack by Alice Kemp.
Daredevils, part 3: Blood of the Daredevil
Anthony comes from a long line of daredevils, but he has always fought the thrill-seeking impulse in his blood. But his blood is getting louder, and more dramatic. Anthony finds himself in a battle against his own hemoglobin, beckoning him to dare against the devil. With the draconian Niagara Falls daredevil ban in place, Anthony must choose a life struggling against his calling, or a life hiding in the forest.
Story, narration and soundtrack by G Lucas Crane. Additional vocals by Angela Moore.
Daredevils, part 2: The Nabisco Kid's Last Leap
Legendary Niagara Falls daredevil The Nabisco Kid takes one last plunge down the mighty waterfall, this time without a barrel, head first, right into a boulder. His son must identify the body at the coroner's office, but without a map, and far from home, the Nabisco Kid's kid could be in for trouble, especially if he doesn't start dreaming!
Written by Devon Fick, soundtrack by Alice Kemp. Voices: Aaron Lowinger (Coroner), Deanna Knapik (mom), Ric Royer (son), Zach Keebaugh (The Classicist)
Daredevils, part 1; The Daredevil Museum
Daredevils have always held a special place in Niagara Falls lore, but when the town started cracking down on all forms of stunts, daredevils were forced underground. When two veteran daredevils, Ace Dog and The Nabisco Kid, find each other at a secret Talk House, a plan gets hatched to pull off the greatest stunt of all time. It's certain death, no matter what!
Written by Ric Royer, voices by Ric Royer, David Crandall, Zach Trebino and Miriam Atkin. Soundtrack by L.A. Fontaine.
We're back in March with DAREDEVILS!
The Mayor of Niagara Falls approves this message!
Beyond the Western Door: Overheard at the Oracle Feed n' Seed
Lets take a detour to the Oracle Feed n' Seed on the corner of Packard and Porter. The only local Feed n' Seed that sells both good coffee and psychic advice along with 50 pound bags of dog food and horse inseminator syringes; the only local business that contains the true oracular power of the falls themselves. When things seem murky and unclear, stop in and buy six dozen baby chicks in a box, and ask the owners and proprietors Agnes and Red Burbandonophon about your future. Is that website you're working on going to be successful? Will you finally get that rare beanie baby from that jerk you continue to be friends with? Do the evil sprits that pursue you know how hot the real estate market is? Like, do they? It's so fucking crazy out there right now........beyond the western door.
Written and composed by G Lucas Crane. Voices by Ric Royer, Kayla Elrod and Angela Moore.
Psychic Network Niagara, part 5; The Missing and Probably Dead Podcast
Our season 4 finale gets nicely wrapped up by Barbara, host of the Missing and Probably Dead podcast, a nationally renown show about people who disappear and usually turn up dead. The case of the missing psychics in Niagara Falls gets featured in a national spotlight after the psychics all suddenly return, and act like nothing happened. Barbara probes into the many questions that the case leaves hanging: What happened in those hills? Why is everybody acting see eerily happy? And what's with the sound of a jam band playing under everyone's breath as they sleep?
Story by L.A. Fontaine. Soundtrack by Brett Masteller. Voices: Ric Royer, Ronnie La Hoyt, David Crandall, Admiral Grey.
Psychic Network Niagara, part 4; Birthmark of the Beast
A cable access show gets a mysterious call from a mayor with a mysterious name about a birthmark with mysterious origins. Written by Zach Trebino. Voices: Zach Trebino, Ric Royer, David Crandall, Tony Pepp and Paul Panamarenko. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane, including a sample of Rully Shabara & Wukir.
Psychic Network Niagara, part 3; True Fortunes
A drifter comes to Niagara Falls seeking his true fortune told. He heard there is an old deadhead in town with a magic live set recording, and if you listen to it with him he will tell you your future. Also the drifter is buying up all the jars in area for other crank divinations, creating a massive jar shortage.
Written, composed and narrated by G Lucas Crane.
Psychic Network Niagara, part 2; Lillyville
Big Psychic Jim's search for his psychic son brings him to Lillyville, town of psychics. NOTE: Before listening, please be sure to have all microwaves turned off, unplugged and placed outside.
Written by L.A. Fontaine. Voices: Ric Royer, Admiral Grey and Annie Taylor.
Psychic Network Niagara, part 1; Big Psychic Jim
A psychic seeks guidance from a psychic to help find his psychic son who was abducted by a group of psychics at a psychic retreat. Written by L.A. Fontaine, featuring Ric Royer, Miriam Atkin and Malka Main. Soundtrack by guest artist Brett Masteller. Hear more from Brett, including the full soundtrack --> https://tando.bandcamp.com/album/having-seen-the-seeking-psychic
Season 2 is gone with the Cave of the Winds
Season 2 is over! Now here's a song about a place we'll soon visit, The Cave of the Winds!
Song by Ric Royer and G Lucas Crane, you can download it here: https://soundcloud.com/radio-guignol/cave-of-the-winds
Beyond The Western Door: Bottled Glory
This week's episode gives us a window into the future with a swirling crystal sphering of scenes from our next season, Psychic Network Niagara!
Every season, we take a sharp turn with tape deck investigator G Lucas Crane as we probe deeper into the mysteries of our Niagara with a mystical sonic textual deep dive, plunging us beyond words, beyond narrative, Beyond the Western Door.
Voices: Jonah Levy Isabel Kagan, Kevin Thurston, Kayla Elrod, Admiral Grey, Miriam Atkin, Angela Moore, Dr. Bank
Legends of the Falls, part 5: The Hourglass
Season two finale! It's news reporter Zach El Keebaugh's final night in Niagara Falls, and it could be his final night on earth if THE HOURGLASS of eternal youth is delivered to the wrong door.
Written and narrated by Ric Royer. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane.
Voices: Zach Trebino (Zach El Keebaugh), Deanna Knapik (Hourglass Lady), David Crandall (Biker), Admiral Grey (Hospital Corners), Miriam Atkin (Maid), Zach Keebaugh (Lace Mummy), Noah Britton (TV).
Best experienced while watching accompanying video by Zach Trebino on our youtube channel: https://youtu.be/Nf7HtYVR3zY
Legends of the Falls, part 4: Lace Mummy
Grace is given a manila envelope as part of a gig for WizGigs temp agency. On it is written the detailed origin story of the Curse of the Lace Mummy, as well as intricate instructions for the contents of a mysterious pine box in her trunk. If not followed correctly, could she be the next to fall under the spell of this diabolical curse?
Written and narrated by G Lucas Crane. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane too!
Legends of the Falls, part 3: A Chimp Named Mark Twain
The Niagara Falls Police Squad brings in a man for questioning after his wife is found dead. When the suspect claims that a mysterious chimp may have done it, the Sergeant wonders if Mark Twain (a ghost chimp) is at it again.
Suspect played by Ric Royer, Sergeant by David Crandall, Officer Tony by Tony Pepp. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane, written by L.A. Fontaine.
Legends of the Falls, part 2: Devil's Hole Pizza and Ribs
News reporter Zack El Keebaugh investigates the rumors death and cursed food surrounding Devil's Hole Pizza and Ribs.
Written by Devon Fick. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane
Zack El Keebaugh: Zach Trebino. Ronnie: Ronnie La Hoyt. Chasm: Tony Pepp
Legends of the Falls, part 1: The Wagon Wheel
Season 2 begins with a trip to Niagara Falls for news reporter Zach El Keebaugh, who is sent to do a feature on urban legends of Niagara. His first stop: The Wagon Wheel, a notorious dive bar where legends are made... and perhaps El Keebaugh is the next one. Zach El Keebaugh: Zach Trebino. Vomiting magician: Chad Raines. Bartender: Miriam Atkin. Randy Newman: Ric Royer. Written by L.A. Fontaine.
Season 1 Wrap and Trap
Beyond the Western Door: Magnetic on Main
Every season, we will probe deeper into the mysteries of the storyline through a mystical sound and text experiment, plunging us beyond language, beyond narrative, Beyond the Western Door.
This month: Magnetic on Main.
Sound and text by G Lucas Crane. Voices: Dr Bank, G Lucas Crane, Angela Moore, Kayla Elrod and Jason Conklin.
The Sunflower Cult, part 5: Alone with a Living Body
In our full-length season 1 finale, a young man accompanies his uncle across the border, but he stops moving and speaking so he thinks he's dead. But death is not the end...not when you're in the company of The Sunflower Cult.
Sound by G Lucas Crane. Nephew: Ric Royer. Uncle: David Crandall.
For full listening effect, watch with accompanying video by Zach Trebino! https://youtu.be/pNYUI9jic6Q
The Sunflower Cult, part 4: Voices from the Other Side
S1 E4: A lowly employee at the Ransomville Outdoor Auction and Flea Market finds a cassette tape that uncovers the truth behind the Sunflower Cult, but will the Niagara Falls Police Squad believe his story? Also, Easy Diesel is now dead. Collectively written, sound by G Lucas Crane. Bug Child: Admiral Grey. Employee: Ric Royer.
The Sunflower Cult, part 3: Midnight Fog
S1 E3: It’s a close call for Easy Diesel, a truck driver and former profiterole runner, who discovers the secret mansion of the Sunflower Cult. Written and recorded by L.A. Fontaine, sound by G Lucas Crane, guest voice Zach Keebaugh.
The Sunflower Cult, part 2: The Massive Entering
S1 E2: Rodeo and Aunt Denise go on Oprah to defend the Sunflower Cult and The Massive Entering occurs. Written by L.A. Fontaine, sound by G Lucas Crane. Featuring the voices of David Crandall, Miriam Atkin, L.A. Fontaine and G Lucas Crane.More