I Have Seen Niagara

A recap and capping of our story of the poisoned neighborhood of Love Canal. Now held captive in the Niagara Falls Crazy Asylum, the Lord of the Mushroom house delivers prophecies for clandestine government agencies. They believe all of his predictions, except for the one he was sent back in time to deliver.

The stubborn, sole inhabitant of Love Canal, who dismissed the reports of toxic waste in the neighborhood as "baloney," becomes a sudden believer when a toxic life form takes him hostage in his home and proposes marriage. In his attempt to escape, he gets sucked into a time warp pipe and sent back twenty years. He finds himself in the flourishing new neighborhood of Love Canal, and now he's gone from the only disbeliever, to the only one who knows its toxic fate.

Written by E.C. Norwood

Narrated by Ric Royer, G Lucas Crane and Angela Moore.

Sound by G Lucas Crane

The new season of IHSN takes a deep dive into Love Canal, the neighborhood in Niagara Falls that was built upon the burial grounds of 21,000 tons of toxic waste. Love Canal became the site of the country's biggest environmental disaster and led to the first Superfund.

After the chemical remains infiltrated the homes, playgrounds and school, the neighborhood was evacuated... except for one resident, who refused to leave. The House in Love Canal is a three-part story about this mysterious figure, and his home, which in the local lore bore the name, "The Mushroom House."

Story and narration by Ric Royer
Sounds by G Lucas Crane and L.A. Fontaine
Additional voices by Jeff Benjamin, Lois Gibbs and Zach Keebaugh

Our next season begins in just a couple weeks. This time, it will be one story broken into 5 episodes, called MOUNT CECOS

For humans, the oldest and strongest sport is fear, and the oldest and strongest fear is Sports of the Unknown. That is, the sports that you don’t know you are playing. Ancient practices. Like lying, and epic fantasy, grifting and childlike wonderment. The queasy realization that you have been playing a sport unwittingly this whole time unites us across time. The most ancient sport of all, the one you don’t know you are playing. Smelling salts were invented in the 13th century. You thought you were rescuing your family from a burning building, but it was actually just a bunch of sport for a whole other class of people, peering at you.

We go Beyond the Western Door again, opening and closing the rat king of doors at the end of 2022, we hear echos of the cockroach essay at the bottom of a soggy dungeon, of a cute grifter lost in a sea of molten diamonds, of the many middle places we can become trapped in, and the ways we can be with you, everywhere.

Sports reporter Brad Van Boxmeer, who is filling in for Bob Von Hayes (deceased), interviews Niagara Falls boxing legend Tony "Pepperoni" Pepp, in pursuit of the truth behind GRAVEYARD BOXING. Is it just an urban legend, or was it real? Does anybody care? Is Van Boxmeer just wasting our time and should he just go straight to hell? He's a crap reporter, a loser. Just sayin.
Written by Devon Fick.
Vocals: Zach Trebino, Tony Pepp.

Welcome to a new season of IHSN. Sports are so integral to everyday life in Niagara Falls, and in Western NY in general, that it can sometimes get a little creepy. In the next 6 episodes, we explore the weird world of sports in the Niagara region. There will be touchdowns, knockouts, wins, losses and a lot of murder and chaos.

There is one question that many in the area ask, but can't let themselves thoroughly explore, at risk of spiraling into an existential dilemma: What would happen if the Bills won the super bowl?

That question gets answered in our first episode, when a lonely truck driver stops off in Niagara Falls for a bite to eat at a tavern on Super Bowl Sunday, the night when the local Buffalo Bills win it all. As the Buffalo Sports Cosmic Curse is lifted, our truck driver is entangled in a strange and terrifying ritual.

Voices: L.A. Fontaine (trucker), Miriam Atkin (bartender), Zach Keebaugh, Matthew Thurber, Joseph Keckler, Zach Trebino.
Written by E.C. Norwood
Soundtrack by Bruce Allen

Have you ever wondered why anytime anyone needs to escape the many civic predators here in Niagara Falls, the first place they run is the forest? Well, running into the woods is part of a grand tradition in times of need here, and rightly so. For the woods surrounding the falls are full of helpful animals who can talk, and who love to provide advice, tidbits, and hints to whatever ails you. There is candy hidden in their feathers and an otter can always be counted upon to sharpen a pencil. If you even need a band-aid, they got you covered. But beware, animal advice is not always made for humans, and the music the animals play may not be fit for human ears. This time, Beyond the Western Door, we will try to hear their call.

Voices:

Miriam Atkins
Angela Moore
Jason Conklin
Clemence Freschard
Stanley Brinks
Robert Norman
Joseph Ahearn
Kengo Ikeda-Iyeki
Simone Bonzon´e

Season finale! A great wooden spacecraft is being built. The ship is intended to fly the last few remaining daredevils away from Niagara Falls, and to a new planet of refuge (or at least as far as Detroit). But the ship has one last stunt to pull before leaving town, it will either be the greatest daredevil stunt of all time, a complete disaster... or both.
Written and narrated by Ric Royer, soundtrack by G Lucas Crane. Additional voices by David Crandall, Jasmine Knapik, Zach Trebino, Zach Keebaugh.

The daredevil body count is on the rise in the City of Niagara. The Sergeant of the Police Squad is playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the killer. Only, he is both the cat AND the mouse. How far will his mind let him go with delusions of heroism, when deep down he knows he's just a puppet for the twisted plans of the Mayor with the Unpronounceable Name? As he nears his breaking point, he turns to drinking and watching too much television. BUT WILL IT HELP??
Written by Zach Trebino. Voices: David Crandall (Sergeant), Admiral Grey (Ursula), Tony Pepperoni and Zach Trebino.
Soundtrack by Alice Kemp.

Anthony comes from a long line of daredevils, but he has always fought the thrill-seeking impulse in his blood. But his blood is getting louder, and more dramatic. Anthony finds himself in a battle against his own hemoglobin, beckoning him to dare against the devil. With the draconian Niagara Falls daredevil ban in place, Anthony must choose a life struggling against his calling, or a life hiding in the forest.

Story, narration and soundtrack by G Lucas Crane. Additional vocals by Angela Moore.

Legendary Niagara Falls daredevil The Nabisco Kid takes one last plunge down the mighty waterfall, this time without a barrel, head first, right into a boulder. His son must identify the body at the coroner's office, but without a map, and far from home, the Nabisco Kid's kid could be in for trouble, especially if he doesn't start dreaming!
Written by Devon Fick, soundtrack by Alice Kemp. Voices: Aaron Lowinger (Coroner), Deanna Knapik (mom), Ric Royer (son), Zach Keebaugh (The Classicist)

Daredevils have always held a special place in Niagara Falls lore, but when the town started cracking down on all forms of stunts, daredevils were forced underground. When two veteran daredevils, Ace Dog and The Nabisco Kid, find each other at a secret Talk House, a plan gets hatched to pull off the greatest stunt of all time. It's certain death, no matter what!
Written by Ric Royer, voices by Ric Royer, David Crandall, Zach Trebino and Miriam Atkin. Soundtrack by L.A. Fontaine.

The Mayor of Niagara Falls approves this message!

Lets take a detour to the Oracle Feed n' Seed on the corner of Packard and Porter. The only local Feed n' Seed that sells both good coffee and psychic advice along with 50 pound bags of dog food and horse inseminator syringes; the only local business that contains the true oracular power of the falls themselves. When things seem murky and unclear, stop in and buy six dozen baby chicks in a box, and ask the owners and proprietors Agnes and Red Burbandonophon about your future. Is that website you're working on going to be successful? Will you finally get that rare beanie baby from that jerk you continue to be friends with? Do the evil sprits that pursue you know how hot the real estate market is? Like, do they? It's so fucking crazy out there right now........beyond the western door.
Written and composed by G Lucas Crane. Voices by Ric Royer, Kayla Elrod and Angela Moore. 

Our season 4 finale gets nicely wrapped up by Barbara, host of the Missing and Probably Dead podcast, a nationally renown show about people who disappear and usually turn up dead. The case of the missing psychics in Niagara Falls gets featured in a national spotlight after the psychics all suddenly return, and act like nothing happened. Barbara probes into the many questions that the case leaves hanging: What happened in those hills? Why is everybody acting see eerily happy? And what's with the sound of a jam band playing under everyone's breath as they sleep?

Story by L.A. Fontaine. Soundtrack by Brett Masteller. Voices: Ric Royer, Ronnie La Hoyt, David Crandall, Admiral Grey.

A cable access show gets a mysterious call from a mayor with a mysterious name about a birthmark with mysterious origins. Written by Zach Trebino. Voices: Zach Trebino, Ric Royer, David Crandall, Tony Pepp and Paul Panamarenko. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane, including a sample of Rully Shabara & Wukir.

A drifter comes to Niagara Falls seeking his true fortune told. He heard there is an old deadhead in town with a magic live set recording, and if you listen to it with him he will tell you your future. Also the drifter is buying up all the jars in area for other crank divinations, creating a massive jar shortage.
Written, composed and narrated by G Lucas Crane. 

Big Psychic Jim's search for his psychic son brings him to Lillyville, town of psychics. NOTE: Before listening, please be sure to have all microwaves turned off, unplugged and placed outside.
Written by L.A. Fontaine. Voices: Ric Royer, Admiral Grey and Annie Taylor. 

Season 2 is over! Now here's a song about a place we'll soon visit, The Cave of the Winds!
Song by Ric Royer and G Lucas Crane, you can download it here: https://soundcloud.com/radio-guignol/cave-of-the-winds

This week's episode gives us a window into the future with a swirling crystal sphering of scenes from our next season, Psychic Network Niagara!

Every season, we take a sharp turn with tape deck investigator G Lucas Crane as we probe deeper into the mysteries of our Niagara with a mystical sonic textual deep dive, plunging us beyond words, beyond narrative, Beyond the Western Door.

Voices: Jonah Levy Isabel Kagan, Kevin Thurston, Kayla Elrod, Admiral Grey, Miriam Atkin, Angela Moore, Dr. Bank

Grace is given a manila envelope as part of a gig for WizGigs temp agency. On it is written the detailed origin story of the Curse of the Lace Mummy, as well as intricate instructions for the contents of a mysterious pine box in her trunk. If not followed correctly, could she be the next to fall under the spell of this diabolical curse?
Written and narrated by G Lucas Crane. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane too!

The Niagara Falls Police Squad brings in a man for questioning after his wife is found dead. When the suspect claims that a mysterious chimp may have done it, the Sergeant wonders if Mark Twain (a ghost chimp) is at it again.
Suspect played by Ric Royer, Sergeant by David Crandall, Officer Tony by Tony Pepp. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane, written by L.A. Fontaine.

News reporter Zack El Keebaugh investigates the rumors death and cursed food surrounding Devil's Hole Pizza and Ribs.
Written by Devon Fick. Soundtrack by G Lucas Crane
Zack El Keebaugh: Zach Trebino. Ronnie: Ronnie La Hoyt. Chasm: Tony Pepp

Season 2 begins with a trip to Niagara Falls for news reporter Zach El Keebaugh, who is sent to do a feature on urban legends of Niagara. His first stop: The Wagon Wheel, a notorious dive bar where legends are made... and perhaps El Keebaugh is the next one. Zach El Keebaugh: Zach Trebino. Vomiting magician: Chad Raines. Bartender: Miriam Atkin. Randy Newman: Ric Royer. Written by L.A. Fontaine.

Every season, we will probe deeper into the mysteries of the storyline through a mystical sound and text experiment, plunging us beyond language, beyond narrative, Beyond the Western Door.
This month: Magnetic on Main.
Sound and text by G Lucas Crane. Voices: Dr Bank, G Lucas Crane, Angela Moore, Kayla Elrod and Jason Conklin.

S1 E4: A lowly employee at the Ransomville Outdoor Auction and Flea Market finds a cassette tape that uncovers the truth behind the Sunflower Cult, but will the Niagara Falls Police Squad believe his story? Also, Easy Diesel is now dead. Collectively written, sound by G Lucas Crane. Bug Child: Admiral Grey. Employee: Ric Royer.

S1 E3: It’s a close call for Easy Diesel, a truck driver and former profiterole runner, who discovers the secret mansion of the Sunflower Cult. Written and recorded by L.A. Fontaine, sound by G Lucas Crane, guest voice Zach Keebaugh.