The JAPE Collective
By JAPE Productions
All material performed by Jacqui Padden, Peter Franksson and Alan Veale, and written by award-winning scriptwriters, Peter and Alan.
The JAPE CollectiveMar 17, 2023
Dummy Cabs 1 “The grass is always greener…”
Bob confides in Beryl about his matrimonial “threesome”, minibus driver Hunter loses the plot, and rival firm A to B Cabs are poaching staff.
The Menu New
Scott and Val have come to a posh restaurant for a “special” occasion – but their anniversary dinner does NOT go to plan. While Scott’s attempt to pop the question is initially foiled by an old flame, Val’s man-y previous relationships provoke more questions than there are items on the menu!
Julie has had a gruelling day at the care home where she works. She just wants a glass of wine and a cuddle – not necessarily in that order. She has a colourful story to tell, but why won’t David come out of the kitchen and help Julie unwind?
When your luck finally runs IN, what do you do? Barmaid Shani hates being short of money, so when a thousand pounds turns up in her shopping bag, she has some tough decisions to make. As her colleague Miserable Martin puts it: Seller Vee!
All At Sea!
Six sketches on the theme of cruising from The Red Rose Tattoo, written by Peter Franksson and Alan Veale.
Will Val and Scott find their Love Boat? How did Ede and Flo get that drinks package? Do you know if you can listen in foreign? Will Irving handle a complaint without complaint? Who’s steering this thing anyway?
Music by Dave Thomas, with FX from zapsplat.com.
The Red Rose Tattoo
An edited version of one of our original live performances, including seven sketches presented ‘radio-style’ (scripts, microphones and plenty of imagination).
We introduce you to Ede and Flo in literary mood, a body in the library, the ladies from the Women’s Institute censoring a nursery rhyme, and several other eccentric residents of “that jewel in the crown of Lancashire, Little Snogging By The Bus Stop.”
All material written by Peter Franksson and Alan Veale, with music by Jim and Dave Thomas.
The Quiet One
An elderly woman wants to get rid of her husband. Why won’t the man at the Citizen’s Advice Bureau help her out? And why on earth won’t Bernie eat his bacon butty?
Teething Problems 3 “We’ve already got one corpse…”
John and Alice are driven to desperate measures when both their spouses threaten to spoil their plans. The bodies mount up, but who will walk off with that bag of stolen loot?
Teething Problems 2 “I didn’t invite Colin!”
Alice’s dodgy boyfriend muscles in on the conspiring lovers’ dilemma. Disposing of a body is more Colin’s kind of expertise – but can he be trusted not to spill the beans?
Teething Problems 1 “I don’t like dead bodies…”
An emergency extraction proves to be an insurmountable challenge for John and Alice, especially when the patient dies during the procedure, leaving a false name and a bag full of cash.
Dummy Cabs 5 “When push comes to shove…”
New horizons beckon as Bob dons a suit and tie, Beryl has to make a tough decision, and Hunter gets head-hunted.
Dummy Cabs 4 “Unnecessary friction…”
A female plumber gives Bob advice on his love-life, but fails to fix the heating. Phil bites off more than he can chew, and A to B Cabs look to be driving Beryl to the end of her tether.
Dummy Cabs 3 “Are you taking the… ?”
The heating has packed in and Beryl’s digestive system is in a similar state. Bob’s efforts on the desk are found wanting, and Beryl is embarrassed by an exotic bird.
Dummy Cabs 2 “Wait while I strangle a driver…”
Beryl is in danger of working a double shift, while over-sexed Phil is running riot. Bob has a “wee” issue over an old lady – and where, oh where is The Blue Pines?