Story Time with the Intimacy Ally

"Oh no, you must not give away your flower, I mean your virginity. You will just be an apple with a bunch of bites taken out of it. You'll be a chewed up piece of gum."

If this is some of the bullshit you grew up hearing concerning virginity, strap in for a ride through time finding out just WHY virginity seems to matter so much.

Join me and Adelina Adler (she/they) as we embark on a journey through time deciphering the meaning behind and the myths surrounding the notions of sacred virginity!

Interested in learning with me directly, email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com for upcoming events, you FREE self-love guide, and to get on the waitlist for the new course, "Making Online Dating Magical" coming in 2024!

To work with Adelina please email her at askaddyadler@gmail.com or visit her website at askaddyadler.wixsite.com/coaching and check out her podcast at https://open.spotify.com/show/3L86apSmWsG2KMNGCHz6WR?si=3f7a74472b264434

Be kind. Stay Curious. And try to never be the smartest person in the room.

Have you ever wondered what tantra is or how it could help you? In this episode, Tantrica Kira Leigh gives us insider tips on what tantric massage and this modality can do for you and your partner. Whether you are young or old, working with a penis or a vulva, or committed in a long-term relationship or learning about yourself, tantra can be an excellent tool to broaden your embodiment and pleasure.

Visit https://www.krystatantric.com/ for more information!

If you like what you're hearing, don't forget to follow the podcast and @theintimacyally on social media. You can learn more about my upcoming "Making Online Dating Magical" Course at www.theintimacyally.com. You can also subscribe for my newsletter and never miss an event.

Email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com if you have questions, concerns, or want to get more information about 1:1 coaching availability.

What is a delusionship? How do you know you're in one...or more to the point...how do you know when someone is in one with you. My guest, Annie Nonymous, received a letter from a prison one day and found out that someone sure thought they were having a relationship with her and she hadn't a clue. Tune in for the rest!

Check out my article on delusionships here:

https://medium.com/@theintimacyally/7-facts-about-delusionships-c7709845126b

As always my lovelies, should you need me, I am but a discovery call away. Book yours at www.theintimacyally.com

Y'all, fan girl moment! Dr. David Ley, PhD, a personal hero of mine who ran some of my favorite discussions in my Sexual Health Alliance trainings and conferences is my guest today to discuss women and porn consumption amongst other topics we hit on along the way.

He is the author of Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them Back, Ethical Porn for Dicks (now one of my FAVORITE books!), andThe Myth of Sex Addiction.

He also is one of the expert sex therapists who signed my certification from the Sexual Health Alliance. Okay, fangirl moment over...but also Squeeeeeee! His takes on porn addiction, sex addiction, societal influence on trends in women's porn consumption, and more will knock your socks off and get your synapses firing for more!

You can find him on social media or on his website at:

@drdavidley 

Davidleyphd.com Dr. David Ley, PhD Bio

David Ley is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author, based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's the author of several books and research articles on sexuality, including his second book, The Myth of Sex Addiction, which started a firestorm of controversy about the validity of the concept of sex or porn addition. His third book presents a model for men to use to approach their use of pornography in a healthy manner. Dr. Ley is a frequent guest in media around the world, with appearances in sources such as the New York Times, CNN and Time Magazine, to Hustler and Playboy magazines.

Now that my website should be working correctly again, please subscribe at www.theintimacyally.com to get your FREE Self-Love Guide and/or get on the waitlist for new course debuting in 2024 "Making Online Dating Magical!" and start 2024 as your most authentic, empowered, and divine self!

If you're diggin what you're hearing, don't forget to follow me on social media @theintimacyally and follow the podcast so you don't miss any juicy goodness!

It may seem like a no-brainer, but legit, how many of us venture onto the online dating sites in the hopes of finding that "fix" or "cure" for lonliness? Here's the skinny my lovelies, this is NOT the way. I am here to tell you my tale of finding love online and then experiencing an incredibly heavy grief cycle and also to share some insight from professionals I admire on this very subject. I read an excerpt from Kira Asatryan's book, Stop Being Lonely: Three Simple Steps to Developing Close Friendships & Deep Relationships to get this discussion flowing and an article by Dr. Brad Brenner, PhD titled Depression and the Modern Lonliness of Online Dating to round it out.

PLEASE go to www.theintimacyally.com and click SUBSCRIBE as we have had a major screw-up with the site for at least 2 months now (mischief managed now) and have NOT RECEIVED any subscription info in that time frame. I would love to send you your FREE SELF-LOVE GUIDE and keep you posted on upcoming events.

Please email me directly at theintimacyally@gmail.com with questions you would like addressed on the podcast or if you would like to join the waitlist for "Making Online Dating Magical!", my new course coming in January!

My guest today is Michelle Renee, the Human Connection Coach. She has created #softcockweek! She is surrogate partner, professional cuddlist, relationship guide, the curriculum coordinator for Cuddlist.com, a woman who rebirthed herself unlearning trauma and coercion and continues to push the envelope exploring how we relate to each other from the platonic to erotic. She has been interviewed by many media outlets and you can learn more about working with her directly or learning from her at https://humanconnectioncoach.com/

She can be found on socials @meetmichellerenee

Did I mention she is also my mentor??? Today we happily bounce from discussing her "Butthole Whisperer" shirt to discussing our journeys leaving marriages and discovering our right to our true yes and more importantly, our true no, to talking about Sex Geek Camp to Michelle describing her very moving meeting and learning from Betty Dodson, one of my sexuality personal heroes to the power and wonder of cuddling.

So, strap in, strap on maybe, and get ready to meet Michelle. As always please reach out if you have questions! theintimacyally@gmail.com or visit www.theintimacyally.com.

Check out Michelle Renee at:

https://humanconnectioncoach.com/

For info on soft cock week, visit:

https://www.instagram.com/softcockweek/

So, I daresay, more of us are watching than we're admitting, but according to research at least a third of the porn consumed in the US is being watched by WOMEN! Let's kick this socially constructed, misogynistic pile of poo to the curb. Not only are women watching porn, they are liking it and having better sex because they watch it!

Join me on a trip into the whys and whatfors of women watching porn!

Get your FREE Self-Love Guide by subscribing at www.theintimacyally.com or feel free to message me directly at theintimacyally@gmail.com.

Stay up to date on the latest episodes and never miss a beat by following the podcast and finding me on social media @theintimacyally.

Hello my lovelies! Today, I am joined by someone I am so proud to have met. Stephany Ann is a domestic violence activist and survivor. She is also a mom, lawyer, and EFT practitioner. In this episode, we take a deep dive into the narcissim that haunted her marriages, domestic violence myths, and how she started her journey to understanding and healing with EFT.

If you would like more information on EFT or hiring Stephany Ann as a speaker, please email her at stephanyannspeaks@gmail.com

Looking to learn more and Fantasy and Roleplay in the Bedroom, subscribe at www.theintimacyally.com and get on the waitlist for my new course rolling out in time for the holidays. Schedule a discovery call for coaching or workshops in person or over the phone.

You can also schedule a discovery call at theintimacyally@gmail.com

In the wake of the Danny Masterson sentencing, we are taking a deep dive into the psychology of fanatic religious groups. Our guest, Ellen Line, of Roar Wellness is a LCSW-C therapist practicing in Maryland who specializes in relational trauma. She gives insight into how Group Think in fanatic church settings, persecution complexes, and blak and white thinking can contribute to silencing survivors of sexual violence in such settings. She also gives advice on how we can support survivors.

You can learn more about Ellen if you visit her website roarwellness.co. Sign up for her newsletter while you're there. You won't be disappointed.

As always, if you have any questions or would like me to tackle a societal myth, untruth, flat out lie, or just simply say "Hey, thanks, this resonated with me." feel free to email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com. You can get a FREE Self-Love Guide by hitting subscribe when you visit www.theintimacyally.com.

Have a fantastic week, my lovelies! Don't let 'em steal your shine!

***Rape/Sexual Violence Trigger Warning***

This is the first of a 4 part series on rape myths I have called the Sexual Violence Myth Collection in my notes. This first one delves into the Danny Masterson sentencing a bit before launching us into 10 common rape and sexual violence myths perpetuated by our society. The next 3 episodes I will have expert guests on to discuss different myths shared here in more depth and give some perspective from a mental health provider standpoint. In this episode, I do share about my personal history with rape and sexual violence.

Part of my draw to becoming a sex coach was to help women who may be scared to seek traditional medical or psychological help because those systems have historically failed them know that they are not alone. I would like to clarify that I was not married to the man who raped me in a relationship and I did not end up pressing charges on anyone who has been sexually violent with me. I know my rights in my state and have time to change my mind on that, but for now, for me, in my current version of myself, it would do more harm than good to report.

Please reach out if you have a personal story or just want to talk to someone who has been there who will just listen without judgement. You can message me through my website, www.theintimacyally.com or email me directly at theintimacyally@gmail.com

May this episode bring you comfort in knowing that we are part of a movement out to squash these rape culture cultivated social norms!

Other resources from this episode:

https://rainn.org/

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

More of us than we would like to admit have fallen for this one. We have gotten it into our heads that if we are not a 10 on the hotness scale, if we are not model-level attractive, then we should just take what we can get when it comes to relationships. In this episode, I expose that social norm as utter marlarkey!

Don't forget to follow and share if you dig the podcast!

Subscribe at www.theintimacyally.com for your FREE Self-Love Guide. Email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com for more information on the amazing portrait artist Rebecca Edwards of Crooked House Creations!

Did you grow up thinking faking orgasms was the norm? Did you have to lie about enjoying sex and you believed that was socially acceptable? Congratulations, I think you're like 90% of women! What if we no longer accepted faking it as a prerequisite for being sexually active? What if instead, we decided that we are never going to close the pleasure gap if the person on the other side of our faked orgasm is acting on bad information? Think how many legit and glorious orgasms could happen if we challenged this thought pattern!

You’ve seen it 1000 times.  I know the first time I can remember it was watching When Harry Met Sally (probably way too young) but all the same by 10 years old, a ways before I actually had any sex, I knew that it was understood that women faked having orgasms.  Not only did they fake them, but it was socially acceptable AND expected.

Want to learn more about closing the pleasure gap? Subscribe at my website, www.theintimacyally.com and get your FREE Self-Love Guide! It is your introduction to finding your Dating/Relationship inner Sexy Self-Esteem Queen.

We are a touch-starved, touch-deprived, Puritanical society and we only make ourselves look foolish when we assume that someone trying to heal those broken bonds of safe and kind touch is automatically doing something erotic. Join me for my first interview episode with Jasmine Siemon, long time professional cuddler, and FORGIVE ME because my mic was not working, but Jasmine's was, so I'm super quiet, but guess what, she's the one I wanted you to hear anyway. She talks not only pro-cuddling, but gets real about what so many of us go through as women after divorce, her entrepreneurship, and how this form of therapy has helped her open worlds for people in the realm of human connection.

Check out Jasmine at www.tangewellness.com for more information on her practice. She has been a platonic touch practitioner, cuddle therapist, or professional cuddler for almost a decade! She has seen the transformations that can occur and the speeding of the healing process that can come from this intriguing modality.

Don't forget to follow me @theintimacyally on social media and head to my website, www.theintimacyally.com and subscribe for your FREE self-love guide! Follow the podcast on your favorite platform.

Today, we're going to be talking about something that is near and dear to my heart because I am very annoyed with how much I hear about it and how it is still a thing. The story that we are going to shake down today is don't show your true self upfront. Now when I say that, what I'm talking about is the advice that many of you have gotten to hide your true selves when you are starting a new relationship.

Where does this lie come from and how can we combat it in this ever-growing world of online dating? How can we present ourselves as our most authentic version to up our odds of finding true connection?

Dont forget to follow me on social media @theintimacyally and subscribe at www.theintimacyally.com to get your free Self-Love guide.

Email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com or go to my website to schedule a discovery call for 1:1 or couples coaching.

Have you ever heard the story "Break-ups Are a Sign of Failure?" Well, we're gonna go over a ton of reasons why that just isn't show. Don't let society dictate to you that you need to stay in a bad or meaningless relationship just to prove that you powered through. You are just as valuable as a single person as one in a couple, throuple, or pod!

For more info, follow me on social media @theintimacyally

Don't forget to subscribe for your FREE self-love guide at www.theintimacyally.com