The Accidental Negotiator

Making concessions during a negotiation is something that none of us  really want to do. 

We don’t like having to give into the other side on  an issue. However, I think that we all realize that in order to reach a  deal with the other side, no matter what negotiation styles or  negotiating techniques we are using we always have to make concessions.  What we need to realize is that each concession that we make is a  critical part of how we are going to reach the deal that we want. 

Not only do we need to know what concessions we are willing to make, but we also have to know how to go about making those concessions.

When you use your negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to enter into a negotiation, just exactly how much do you know about the other side?  

What you probably have are a number of assumptions that are going to be  boosted by the first impressions that the other side makes when you  meet them. A question that we should all be asking ourselves is if this is really the best way to go about preparing to negotiate? 

Could we be  getting things wrong?

During a negotiation, our goal is always to find ways to use our  negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to move the other side closer to reaching a deal with us. 

There are a lot of different ways  that we can go about doing this. One of the biggest questions that we  are always facing during a negotiation is just exactly what we should reveal to the other side in order to move things along. We all know our limits and what would  cause us to walk away from a negotiation is a big deal. 

Should we ever  let the other side know what our limits are?

I hope that we can all agree that if you want your next negotiation to  turn out the way that you want it to, you need to prepare for it. 

Now,  that’s easy to say, but as we all know, it’s actually fairly hard to do.  It turns out that the key to successfully preparing for a negotiation  is that we have ask the right questions. 

In order to do that, we need to know what questions to ask.

I hope that we can all agree that if you want your next negotiation to  turn out the way that you want it to, you need to prepare for it. 

Now,  that’s easy to say, but as we all know, it’s actually fairly hard to do.  It turns out that the key to successfully preparing for a negotiation  is that we have ask the right questions. 

In order to do that, we need to know what questions to ask.

Most negotiators know that when we are negotiating pricing with the other side, it is always in our best interest to be the first one to make a price offer.  

This serves to anchor the price and the negotiations can take off from  there. However, there is a variation on this practice that a lot of us  may not be aware of. 

It turns out that with a simple modification we can  create an even more attractive offer for the other side.

As negotiators we all know that there are many different ways to reach  an agreement with the other side of the table. 

We’d all like to be able  to use our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques come to a  negotiated agreement with them. However, failing that we always have a  court case that we can fall back on. However, that is an expensive and  messy way to accomplish things. 

What we’d all like to do is to find a better way to get to where we want to get to.

In the world of negotiations, one of the most important things that we  can do is to be clear. 

We want the other side to understand what we are  asking them for. We also want to make sure where we stand on the issues.  However, there will be times that despite the negotiation styles and  negotiating techniques that we are using, we run into issues in a  negotiation that we might not want to advertise to either the other side or to the world.  

In cases like this, back-channel negotiations can provide temporary  protection from deal spoilers and too much public scrutiny.

How many times have this happened to you? 

You are in a negotiation and  you’ve used all of your negotiation styles and negotiating techniques  and you have just about exhausted all of the offers that you can make to  the other side. The other side may have also made a number of offers,  none of which really appealed to you. What’s a negotiator do to now?  

The good news is that you still have at least one trick left up your sleeve: MESOs.

Nobody ever said that this negotiating thing was going to be easy to do.  

This can be especially true when you are involved in a negotiation that  has to do with territory, control, rights, or power. Turf battles can arise over any type of scarce or sacred resource in a negotiation.  Often in such battles, two or more groups view the other side as the  enemy and its own side as above reproach. When anticipating a group  negotiation, negotiators tend to view the other group as inferior to our  group on many dimensions, including intelligence, competence, and  trustworthiness. In addition, groups in conflict tend to see the other’s  positions as more extreme than they actually are. 

Just exactly how  should we handle situations like this?

The best negotiations happen when we sit down with the other side, have a  discussion, make some concessions, and then reach a deal that both  sides can live with. 

We like these kinds of negotiations. However, not  all negotiations turn out this way. In fact, sometimes we run into  trouble. We reach a sticking point in our discussions that we just don’t  seem to have a way around. Both sides see the world differently and  it’s not clear how we can reach an agreement. These types of disputes  need to be resolved. 

As negotiators, we need to know what our options  for resolving disputes are.

As negotiators, what we are all trying to do is to become better. 

Our  goal is to be able to use our negotiation styles and negotiating  techniques to walk away from our next negotiation with the feeling that  we got what we wanted and that the other side will come through with the  promises that they have made to us. 

In order to be successful, we need  to develop three negotiating skills that will allow us to reach better  agreements faster.

As negotiators, what we want most out of life is to be able to use our  negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to close a deal with the  other side that meets our needs. 

However, it turns out that there just  might be something else that we really we really want – our next  successful negotiation. Our need to move from one successful negotiation  to another is something that can motivate us as we desire more and more  “wins”. 

Is this really a good way for us to be operating?

As a negotiator, who wouldn’t want to walk into a negotiation knowing that you had all of the cards? 

Knowing that you were in the position of  power and the other side had few options – they were going to have to  agree with whatever you told them that you wanted? This type of  situation does not happen all that often; however, it will happen  occasionally. 

When it does, how should we deal with it?

As negotiators it can be easy for us to focus on using our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to get the deal that we are working  on.

However, it turns out that what we really should be thinking about  is what we can do in order to make sure that the deal that we’re working  on holds up well over time. If we don’t take the time to do this then  broken contracts, damaged relationships, and lawsuits are a common  outcome. 

What can we do to avoid this from happening?

As negotiators, our job during a negotiation is to understand what the other side is looking for and then make them an offer. 

The offer that we  present to them will hopefully be what we consider to be a great deal  for them. However, sometimes after we’ve made the offer, we’ll get the  impression that the other side does not agree that the offer is all that  good. Why do we have a problem here? 

It turns out that your offer may be excellent; however, it’s how you’ve approached framing in the negotiation that’s holding you back.

As negotiators, what we tend to focus on with all of our negotiation  styles and negotiating techniques, of course, is the negotiations at  hand. 

It turns out that this is just a little bit sad. The reason is  because we’re going to all of the work trying to craft an agreement that  both sides can live with and we’re not taking the time to focus on what really matters.  What we need to be thinking about is just exactly how we are going to  go about putting the agreement that we’ve created into action. 

How can  we make sure that our agreement is going to turn out to be a success?

In the world of negotiating, there are a lot of different challenges that we all face. 

What many of us are discovering is that one of the  biggest challenges that we are having to face happens when we have to  negotiate with millennials. In comparison to the baby boomers or the  Generation Xers who followed, many members of the Millennial Generation –  people born after 1981 who have been entering the workforce since 2000 —  seem to approach work life with a sense of entitlement, a craving for  praise, and an expectation that they will ascend the organizational  ladder quickly. 

How are we supposed to deal with these people?

Negotiators always have to deal with the simple fact that a negotiation  is never over, until it’s over. 

What this means is that it is possible  that after months of negotiation and the use of a wide variety of  negotiation styles and negotiating techniques, you reach a detailed  agreement with the other side and shake hands. You are all done, right?  Well, maybe not. A week later, the other side’s procurement officer  calls to tell you that there have to be some “revisions” to the deal.  Perhaps they expect you to deliver the same service package faster than  agreed upon and for less money. This happens after you’ve lined up  resources internally and gotten commitments from your own vendors. In a  situation like this, you end up trying to make the new deal work, since  you can’t afford to lose these key customers. 

What can a negotiator do  when this issue pops up?

Negotiators always have to deal with the simple fact that a negotiation is never over, until it’s over. 

What this means is that it is possible  that after months of negotiation and the use of a wide variety of  negotiation styles and negotiating techniques, you reach a detailed  agreement with the other side and shake hands. You are all done, right?  Well, maybe not. A week later, the other side’s procurement officer  calls to tell you that there have to be some “revisions” to the deal.  Perhaps they expect you to deliver the same service package faster than  agreed upon and for less money. This happens after you’ve lined up  resources internally and gotten commitments from your own vendors. In a situation like this, you end up trying to make the new deal work, since  you can’t afford to lose these key customers. 

What can a negotiator do when this issue pops up?

When we go looking for new ways that we can be successful during a negotiation, we are often looking for the “next big thing”. 

We’d like to  find a modern negotiating technique that perhaps we’ve not heard of  before. 

However, it turns out that if you really want to expand your  negotiating toolbox it might serve you better to spend some time taking a  look at something that is actually very old: bartering.