jumble
By sidney
Podcast Website: bit.ly/jumblepod
jumbleSep 24, 2023
writer's block
I haven't written a single creative word since May. I'm frustrated, disappointed, and confused because all I want to do is write and the only thing I spend my time not doing is writing. In this episode I try to get to the bottom of this ridiculous situation by talking it out.
what if I fail?
Failure is inevitable in life when you put yourself outside of your comfort zone, but that doesn't mean that it hurts any less... In this episode I grapple with failure once again along with the burnout that comes with working as hard as you can your entire life.
I'm sick of following the rules: bonus episode
No matter what I do, I'll never be able to control how people judge me. So instead I'll just live my life however I feel like it.
I'm sick of following the rules
Lately I've been feeling so restricted by what people think I should be doing with my life. By what I think I should be doing in life. But I'm sick and tired of dealing with everyone's expectations of who or what I should be so I think I'm just going to live everyday aiming to be as happy as I can be with the life that I'm living.
stay for a while: august's anthem
I don't know where life is taking me and everything is scary but at least it's almost time for hoodie weather.
before the coffee gets cold: book review
tune in to my first ever 10/10 book review of Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi to learn more about the book that I will literally be thinking about until the day I die.
fourth wing: book review
This week I reviewed Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros which has been all over my instagram feed lately. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about because people were ranting and raving over this book. I give a non-spoiler review and the beginning of the episode and a spoiler review at the end of the episode for those who have and haven't read the book.
reading slumps
A reader's worst nightmare is realizing that they are in a reading slump. It's the worst thing ever to realize that you don't find joy in the one thing that you used to look forward to everyday. From figuring out what causes reading slumps to brainstorming ways to escape them, this episode is all about what to do when it's a struggle to get through even one page in a book.
Links:
college roommate stories
having roommates in college is literally a roller coaster. Like a ride that you can't get off for literally 9 months. It'll make you scream, cry, and maybe even laugh. Either way you'll come out as a changed person, for better or worse.
80 degrees: july's anthem
It's too hot outside and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm ready for fall already.
I'm embarrassed by my hobbies
I feel some type of way about talking about my hobbies because it feels embarrassing to be associated with them. In this episode I talk about distancing myself from my interest in reading, listening to Kpop, and watching anime or Kdramas.
book tropes
Pick your poison: strangers to enemies to lovers? Or childhood friends to lovers to strangers? Mafia books, age gaps, amnesia, pregnancy, and forbidden love are inescapable tropes in books these days. Some are loved and some are hated, but why do we even care so much and are they limiting creativity in books as publishers increasingly focus on meeting the demand for trending tropes?
life after college: bonus episode
Sometimes all you need is a good song to cope with the fact that you are unemployed.
life after college
life after college is like some sort of weird limbo where it feels like you're just waiting for your real life to start. But what does that even mean? I mean, aren't we in our real adult life right now? Even if we don't have jobs or live on our own?
Instead of waiting for life to start, I think about the ways that we can enjoy the life we have right now instead of spending all this time worrying about what the future holds.
Links:
anxiety: bonus episode
Take a deep breath. It will work out, so don't stress out baby ;) .
anxiety
The thought of dealing with my anxiety everyday makes me nauseous. How ridiculous is that? Feeling anxious about being anxious. Regardless of how ridiculous it is, in this episode I talk about the ways that anxiety impacts my daily life and I try to see if I can pinpoint the moment that it all began.
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teach yourself to feel attractive
Learning to love yourself is hard. And it's even harder to know where to start when trying to learn how to love yourself. In this episode, I talk about some steps that I took on the journey to loving myself with all of the embarrassing moments that accompany teaching yourself how to feel attractive.
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aeao: june's anthem
It's so weird to be so aware that you're leaving a phase of your life that you will never be able to go back to. Sometimes in life a chapter of your life ends without you realizing it and other times you are so painfully aware of it that you can't help but wonder what will be waiting for you in this next chapter. It's scary, it's exhilarating, it's overwhelming. It's what change feels like.
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memphis: book review
Oh yeah! I'm reading more books by black authors and reviewing them. I had a whole lot to say about the book Memphis by Tara M. Stringfellow in this episode as I discussed scenes in the book that shocked me to my core and others that left me wanting more (oh my gosh that rhymed).
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alone but not lonely
What is the difference between being alone and being lonely? Sometimes it feels like the line is so blurred that it makes it difficult for me to enjoy spending time by myself. But honestly, being alone is when I feel most at ease.
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getting better at confrontation
Do what you need to do to protect your happiness.
Making sure that I protect my happiness sometimes requires confronting others by advocating for what is right or even just standing my ground when I tell my friends that I don't feel like going out today. Regardless of how major or minor each confrontation is, I always find myself dealing with a mix of anxiety and guilt that I can't seem to shake every time I end up in these situations.
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god of sunsets: may's anthem
Graduated college and feeling scared/excited, but always reminding myself to take risks that push me out of my comfort zone (not too much though lmao).
is reading romance books embarrassing?
I like reading romance books more than I would like to admit. Why do I feel kind of embarrassed to admit that reading romance novels is one of my favorite things to do these days?
Links:
Romance Novel Cover Trends Article
outgrowing friendships
Outgrowing a friendship is painful for everyone. It's painful if they've outgrown your friendship and you haven't. It's painful when you've outgrown it and they haven't. And somehow it's still painful even when everyone has outgrown it at the same time. But even amongst the discomfort that the pain brings during this time, there's also a sense of excitement when you realize that outgrowing a friendship means that you are one step closer to figuring out what kind of person that you want to be.
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struggling with acne
There was a time when I was repulsed by my reflection because of my acne. I've worked really hard to come to a place when I feel more comfortable in my skin, but as I look back on my journey to get to this point I remember how difficult it was to get through each day knowing that I hated the way that I looked. In this episode, I give skin care recommendations, discuss the pros and cons of using accutane, and think about the effect that my acne had on my self-confidence.
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the future scares me: bonus episode
If I close my eyes and the sun don't shine will I be okay? If it was my last day on earth would I be okay?
I think so. I think I would be.
the future scares me
oh my god, I'm graduating college and I'm not following any of the plans that I laid out for myself when I was 17 years old. Suddenly I don't know the difference between what I actually want for my life and what I think I should want my life to be like and I'm literally having an existential crisis every 2 hours. The future is scary and exciting and I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm trying to go but god I hope that I get there in one piece.
Links:
seven days in june: book review
Links:
bit.ly/jumblepod
saturday: april's anthem
I can't wait to be unemployed and live everyday without knowing what will come next for the first time in my life. I've been waiting for this moment forever, even when I didn't realize it yet.
getting a tattoo
After years and years of talking about it, I finally got my first tattoo. It wasn't really the magical experience that I had envisioned, but it's one of those things that I think worked out exactly how it was supposed to.
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the fear of failure: bonus episode
If nobody wants you, does that mean you're free? I guess that makes me the freest person ever.
the fear of failure
Failing at something can be devastating and lately it seems like I can't even go one month without it. This episode is all about perseverance even in, and especially in, the face of failure during those moments when all hope seems lost and all you really wanna do is sit on the floor and cry.
Links:
harness your creativity: with nigel sandridge
Nobody wants to be a struggling artist. In this episode, I talk with Nigel Sandridge about how we can use our strengths as a creative people to our advantage and we talk about the mindset that we should have when going through the phases in life when your success as a creative person feels impossibly out of reach.
Jumble Website: bit.ly/jumblepod
Find Nigel at:
https://www.instagram.com/NoMargins_Media/
turn back the time: march's anthem
April showers bring May flowers. I've honestly had enough rain in March and I would appreciate some flowers in April to remind me that brighter things are on the horizon.
craving academic validation
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like without academic validation. What kinds of things would make me feel proud? What would motivate me to work hard? In this episode ponder the implications of the murky water that encompasses academic validation.
Links:
Blog post: Overcoming the Need for Academic Validation
Tik Toks Mentioned: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRb4GQk3/, https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRb4EDLe/
dealing with rejection: bonus episode
dealing with rejection sucks. here's a song that makes it suck just a little less.
dealing with rejection
Lately it seems like rejection is following me everywhere I go. It makes me question if I'm cut out for my dream careers and it makes me wonder it's a sign to give up before it's too late. Though the tears and self doubt, I find myself wondering how much more my determination will be tested before the day that the rejections become acceptances finally arrives.
I don't know how to write father figures
Including father figure-like characters in my stories when writing always gives me a pause. As a writer that draws heavily for her own life to spin fictional stories, this weakness makes me feel a little bit like I’m lacking as a writer. In this episode, I explore the causes of this mental block and the larger cultural implications that it has on my writing.
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being a black student at a pwi
When you go to a predominantly white institution for college as a person of color it’s pretty much a given that you’re gonna stand out everywhere you go. This episode is about the trials and tribulations of trying to find a space where you feel like you can be your true authentic self. You know, bonnet and all. It can be hard to find those people that really get you in college but when you do, it’s so worth the wait.
I've got my life 2 live: february's anthem
February was the literal worst. Here's hoping to that March will treat me a little bit better.
first drafts
This month I discovered that writing a novel is hard as hell. It’s not necessarily a revolutionary discovery, but it somehow still surprised me when I went to write the first draft of my first novel. In this episode, I talk through the ups, the downs, and the just in the middle feelings of the entire process.
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writing characters of color is hard: part two
After completing my first novel length draft, I’ve had some epiphanies about writing characters of color. It’s still difficult to create representation when you’ve consumed media that noticeably lacks diversity for most of your life, but throughout the writing process I’ve finally found ways to portray a character that's dripping in their own unique culture.
alone on valentine's day (again): bonus episode
listened to the alone one valentine's day (again) episode and wondering about when it will be your turn to experience that breathless feeling of falling in love? don't worry, I've got a song that you can listen to the day you realize that you are finally, finally falling in love.
alone on valentine's day (again)
We’ve all been there at least once. By yourself on the holiday that reminds you at every turn just how alone you really are. When you’re surrounded by reminders that there’s no one to bring you flowers, is the solution to buy your own flowers? Or is it just to remind yourself that self love is the most important love? I don’t know, but what I do know is that no matter how secure you are in your singleness, being alone on valentine’s day is rarely fun.
Links:
Seventeen Article: 36 Things To Do When You're Alone on Valentine's Day
nanowrimo
I wrote 1,667 words everyday for thirty days (or tried to anyway). During my experience of the National Novel Writing Month challenge I recorded everyday through the ups and downs of my first attempt to write a novel length story.
won't you say it's fine: january's anthem
Life is hard. I wish someone would tell me that it's all gonna be okay in the end.
microagressions
Sometimes people say things that just don’t sit right with me. But I often find myself asking myself: was that actually racist or am I just overanalyzing it? Normally I would just tell myself to trust my gut, but navigating a predominantly white environment in my daily life always leaves me second guessing myself.
Links:
Microaggressions Chapter: So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
Tik Tok: Angry Black Woman Stereotype
learning to live in the moment: bonus episode
listened to the learning to live in the moment episode and looking for a song that encapsulates those feelings? look no further, I've got you covered ;)
learning to live in the moment
I tend to stress myself out by worrying about what the future holds. And sometimes, it gets to the point where it becomes unhealthy in the way that it's affecting my life. In this episode I talk about taking life one day at a time and remembering to appreciate the small moments of joy in everyday life.
