Pinoy Love Language

In this episode, we explore, how to support a Filipino mom in her healing journey through accessing therapy for herself.

Let's talk about:

• How to be supportive from the lens of an immigrant Filipino receiving therapy
• How to ask questions about mental health care while giving space to save face
• What potential questions to ask to without asking direct questions
• ...atpb

If you're interested in scheduling a complimentary consult with Roanne, schedule here-

Healthy boundary setting is essential but when its not culturally responsive can bring more harm to the relationship than good.

In this episode, let's explore-

• What does boundary mean to you?
• Cultural nuance of boundary setting and space in the Western vs Filipino culture
• Blessing and Curse with the concept of interdependence
• Reframing your boundary setting to a more culturally responsive approach. Your improve your agency and continue to honor your elders and relatives along the way.

Links mentioned by Roanne:

DECOLONIZATION is not a linear process but a route that is similar to a rotonda (round-about) where there are multiple entry points and exit routes.

In this episode, let's explore:

• the Myth around a linear path to DECOLONIZATION
• the difference between (the mindset) UNCOLONIZED vs COLONIZED Filipinx
• The Path to UnCOLONIZE to DECOLONIZE and the many in-betweens
• The Eastern teaching on UN-Colonizing to DeColonize
• ...atbp!
• 
  

Mentioned links in this episode:

The Inner Child Playground Course: 30 Days to Playful Restoration

This is Part II of Island Talk , the first part is the very first episode of the Pinoy Love Language podcast. thank you po for listening!

In this episode, we will explore-

• Ancestral communication style of early (indigenous) Filipinos
• Why the Filipino speaks in codes
• When what is conveyed is the opposite of what they mean. Ay sus!
• How to listen in to stories beyond what is articulated
• ...atbp.

Links mentioned by Roanne

To purchase your KULTURA CARDS

Kapwa is the value of deep interconnected-ness from which a Filipino traditionally navigate his world from. It is the ability to see someone as a part of you and you in them. In today's episode, we will explore the light and shadow side of this core value & why it can be a challenge to adhere to with our kapatids that are in diaspora.

In this episode, we will explore-

• the beauty of the core value of kapwa
• why it's both a survival and a thriving mechanism
• the shadow side of kapwa
• the cause of scarce cultural whisperers
• ...atbp

Links mentioned by Roanne

What's an artful way to respond to tita and her intrusive questions and comments? 

In this episode, we will explore-

• Why Filipinos asks personal questions
• How to enter spaces so that you can have a better cultural and familial experience
• Strategies to artfully and gracefully respond to tita so you can both have a win-win interaction with each other
• When to bring your shield in Filipino potlucks

Links mentioned by Roanne

What's the difference between shame and guilt and is there any evolutionary function for each? Does culture influence our feelings of shame?

In this episode, let's explore-

• the evolutionary function of guilt
• guilt in a collectivistic culture vs in America
• how the focus on function and productivity can influence self-inflicted guilt
• antidote for guilt
• at iba pa...(and many more).

Mentioned links in this podcast

Grief is not something you get over with,  for it is from the seed of love that grief sprouts from.

In this episode-

• explore the concept of GRIEF through the eyes of two friends: Snail and Ant
• How grief can be a challenge to those supporting the Griever
• How the Griever can facilitate his own support and how it looks like to him/her.
• How support people can sit with the GRIEVER in times of intense pain.

I'd so appreciate if you can leave a stellar review to this podcast, if called to do!

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There is a misconception that you have to be diagnosable Mental Health condition to seek therapy.

In this episode, let's explore-

• myths about therapy vs coaching
• common reasons Filipinos seek therapy
• what to do next if you find yourself needing support, 
• and more

Honoring the wisdom of your body through the art of slowing down. Slow is fast.

In this episode, let's explore

• how productivity mindset can wreck a havoc on your mind and body
• using your calendar to remind you to slow down
• the art of noticing, what you forget to do when you're moving too fast
• the real exercise for the mind/body to accelerate your happiness health

Mentioned links and helpful resources:

Do you decide on your own accord? Social Psychologist and anthropologist tells us that culture is like water to fish. You can't deny its existence absent of noticing it.

In this episode, let's explore-

• How culture influences your decision-making
• how shared identity is an invisible thread that connects us all
• the independence paradox of American mindset
• how to belong and initiate alignment with your core values

Mentioned links and helpful resources:

What’s the cost of being the “good one,” the one expected to follow the path promised with lavish confetti and head nods of approval in the family?

In this episode, let's explore-

• Who is the good child?
• the conditions that raise the good child
• the curse of the good child, manifestations and cost
• good to neither good or bad but just is

Mentioned and /or other helpful resources:

Were you well-provided for- a roof over your head, meals that don't go out of style, went to a good school but feel emotionally malnourished?

In this episode, let's explore:

• how immigration for a Filipino immigrant may aggravate this malnourished cycle
• manifestations that you are emotionally hungry
• tips on how to feed your hungry parts
• and many more...

Mentioned in this episode-

EP 22 What is Pasalubong and why is it so endearing to many Filipinos?

In this episode, explore-

• the definition of pasalubong and why it's valuable in the Filipino culture
• the light and shadow side of this Pinoy Love Language
• a case example of using pasalubong to ease up tension in a relationship
• ...and much more.
• 
  

Roanne mentioned the following-

EP 21  Why is it that when you asks a Filipino sometimes that they go around the bush rather than telling you straight up what’s on their mind? What is the Pinoy Love Language of Ligoy?

In this episode, let's explore-

EP20 What is collective co-regulation?

In this episode, we will explore-

• What's the difference between self-regulation (self-soothing) and co-regulation
• Is coregulation the same as co-dependency? If not, how are they different?
• How the Filipino culture hone coregulation over self-regulation
• the case of example of Junjun to learn how co-regulation is activated in a cultural and practical setting.

Why is sumbong a language of love for Filipinos and how do you love someone back who's using this love expression?

In this episode, we will explore-

• the PInoy Love Language of Sumbong. What is it?
• How does it manifest?
• The shadow and light side of this PLL
• how to set healthy boundaries

Are Filipinos coregulators (someone who finds soothing in reaching out proximity with others)?

In this episode, we will explore:

• what coregulation means
• codependency vs coregulation
• what happens to Filipinos in immigration & theis soothing strategies
• how to coregulate in a healthy manner with Filipino loved ones.

How does self-soothing strategies vary between individualistic and collective cultures?

In this episode, explore-

• what self-regulation is and how our caregivers tend to you influence our ability to self-soothe
• how you learn to cope as children when caregivers do not fulfill your emotional need
• the connection between the Pinoy Love Languages and how Filipinos seek and express affection
• ...and many more.

Roanne mentioned the following-

Met anyone who was taught to be namaligno? This is one disease causality that is used in the motherland to explain an unexplained phenomenon.

In this episode, let’s explore-

• What is namaligno?
• What use does this concept play in the Filipino culture?
• Does namaligno help heal or delay health care access?
• ...and many more.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Why is it important to culturally understand how Filipinos explain the cause(s) of diseases? Does this still influence in diaspora?

In this episode, let’s explore-

• Meaning of Sumpa
• The difference between Sumpa and Gaba
• How this disease causality renders delay in care (physical and mental health)
• How shame plays a role in accessing care
• ….and many more.

Lihi is one way Filipinos in the Islands may use to explain a cause of a disease/ deformity based on maternal deprivation during pregnancy.

In this episode, we will explore-

• What is Lihi?
• How Lihi affects our help-seeking behaviors
• How Lihi still influence our modern Filipino mind-set
• ...and many more.

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Naku, manang-mana ka sa tatay mo! (you're just like your father)

In this episode, let's explore-

• the disease causality of Mana. what is it?
• How does it affect the way Filipinos perceive care and treatment
• how does Mana continue to manifest in our modern world and recommendations on how to bridge the cultural gap on seeking treatment/care.

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Your mental health is your health. There is a deep stigma in seeking mental health services that lies in the veins of many Filipinos.

In this episode, let’s explore-

• Why Filipinos don’t (easily) access mental health care
  
• Filipino mental health and why the language we use especially with our children is important
  
• How we reinforce “toughness” in the Filipino culture
  
• How you can pivot your narrative to embrace your wholistic story.
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

In this episode-

• Discover the antidote for the PLL of TAMPO which is SUYO.
• What is suyo?
• How can you attune with your loved one while negotiating a new way of speaking a language you both understand
• And many more....

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Have you experienced mom upset but not quite angry and when you try to speak to her she claims she’s fine. You give her more distance because you think that’s what she needs and her upset feeling becomes lethal….

In this episode, let’s explore-

• The PLL of Tampo. What is it?
  
• Why someone uses this PLL and their secret longing
  
• Tips on how to read TAMPO and recommendations on how to respond to it a culturally-responsive manner.
  
• Self-regulation vs co-regulation. How Filipinos in the Philippines and in America differ in their affection-seeking strategies
  
• ...and more
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Why can’t you just say what you mean? Many times, socio-political, geography and many other variables that influence culture including history of colonization influence cultural norms and behavior.

In this episode, let’s explore-

• How/Why history shapes our language
  
• Why the cultural context of how we use language in the Philippines and in America/diaspora differ and matters
  
• How culture and the environment can shape our parenting strategies
  
• Adaptive versus Toxic shaming in parenting
  
• How Filipinos express and seek love uniquely
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

You might ask when does utang na loob OR debt of gratitude ever gets repaid. Many children of immigrants feel the burden to not just pay but to overpay I debt they are grateful for but never asked for.

In this episode, let’s explore-

• The concept of utang versus utang na loob
  
• What is utang na loob and why its a more salient concept in diaspora
  
• The expectation to Re-Pay and how it’s loss in translation
  
• What happens to immigrants when they immigrate leaving their emotional resources behind
  
• What our elders really need and mean regarding the concept of utang na loob
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

What is a tagapamagitan and why are their roles scarce in the diaspora?

In this episode, explore-

• The role of cultural mediators in the everyday life of a Filipino
  
• How the breakage in communication between immigrant Filipinos and their offspring can be harmed or bridge by a tagapamagitan
  
• The different roles of a tagapamagitan
  
• Learn ways to demystify Filipino cultural nuances
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Filipinos are known to have “mataas na pakikisalamuha,” which means the depth of relationality with others goes skin deep. Children in the motherland are taught to heighten their cultural sensing of the other beyond words.

Pakiramdam, the sensing of the other beyond words through reading non-verbal cues, sensing and feeling create polarized understanding of each other in America/diaspora. In general, American culture emphasizes direct, linear communication while Filipino culture weighs heavy on the skill of pagtitimbang (weighing things out, gauging all variables before the interaction, during and after it).

In this episode, explore-

• Why Pakiramdam is the most complex & misunderstood Filipino Core Value
  
• Why it causes conflict in Filipino homes
  
• Why do we use pakiramdam (an, verb) as a strategy to affection-seek?
  
• How we communicate differently in the motherland vs. in American soil.
  
• What is the Pinoy Love Language called Tampo?
  

Despite the fact that most Filipinos are bilingual, our ways of expression from the American language of expression differ in many ways. In this regard, Filipino immigrants and their children may experience cultural gaps and miscommunication in their relationships.

Some of these miscommunication can even result to negative imprints leading to feelings of not being good enough or unloved. To slowly change this trajectory is to inform yourself and find clarification on what is actually being said than simply interpreting what’s said.

In this episode, let’s explore:

• Linear versus circular communication
  
• How we teach children in a socio-cultural setting to use language
  
• Low context vs high context and why Filipinos value “sensing the other”
  
• How affection, standards and modes of expression can vary culturally
  

What cultural stories have been keeping your from living an abundant life? From your riches? Money is simply a manifestation of your abundant mind-set but does not end there. What stories have you heard growing up about money? About the rich? Or the poor?

In this episode, explore:

• How soap operas can shape your money mind-set
  
• How the concept of Togetherness or walang Iwanan can keep you from manifesting abundance
  
• Sibling rivalry and how it can cost competitiveness from a scarcity lens
  
• More Money More Problems?
  
• The concept of being grateful and how to be truly grateful to those who came before you.
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

What is intergenerational trauma versus the common stress? This is an introduction to more trauma talks in this podcast. It’s vital that today, you forge a path for yourself and those who will come before you by breaking the cycle of trauma or negative imprints running through your family’s  lineage veins.

In this episode, explore:

• What is trauma?
  
• The difference between stress/depression versus intergenerational trauma
  
• Some tell-tale signs if your family has trauma unresolved
  
• Psychological primal needs and why its important to meet yours
  
• How to find a good-fit therapist
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

The sense that Filipino Americans are neither Filipino or American enough can lead to cultural inferiority and thereby influence your sense of self and worth. Where do learn these messages and how do we allow our children to redefine their cultural heritage on their own?

In this episode, explore-

• The concept of culture switching and the challenge of navigating it from a Filipino American perspective
  
• How Immigrant parents can influence the feeling of “not being good enough”  in their children
  
• How Filipino American children knows enough about the culture as evidenced by their attempts to “not speak up.”
  
• How Filipino immigrants can perceive their children differently, see their attempts to connect through culture switching.
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

Why is it more confusing to be bilingual in America? Many immigrant Filipinos tend to believe that other than you have to wear your seat belt not as a fashion statement but for safety, there’s not much adjusting to do because we dig the English lingo…. or do we?

In this episode, explore:

• Words we misuse with each other
  
• How different meanings create confusion and hard feelings
  
• How tone, inflections in the way we say things matter
  

HELP US REACH MORE PINOYS AND PINAYS with this podcast, leave me a review by scrolling at the bottom of the episode list and find WRITE A REVIEW.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW