From One Caregiver to Another

In this episode, join host Kay Coughlin as she talks about the idea that boundaries are not, in fact, selfish (but it's still OK if you feel that way). Also, Kay gives an update on what's next for her creatively and why there's about to be a big pause for the podcast. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

In this episode, join host Kay Coughlin and her guest, Dr. DeLon Canterbury, who is an expert on deprescribing and the difference it can make in the lives of family caregivers. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

Join host, white woman Kay Coughlin, as she welcomes a very special guest, Altagracia Montilla, professional change-maker and systems innovator, and BIPOC woman. In this episode, Kay and Altagracia talk about some very difficult topics, like racism, white supremacy and how a lot of people, including white folk, get wokeness wrong. They also talk about some of life’s greatest gifts and opportunities, like doing work that feeds your soul. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

What happens when your life gets upended and you have to figure out how to keep up with your own needs and care, too? That’s what host Kay Coughlin talks about in this episode of the podcast. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

What is caregiver shaming, and how can you recognize it and put a stop to it? Join Kay Coughlin for this discussion of a difficult, very common and absolutely unnecessary aspect of having family caregiver responsibilities. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

Join host Kay Coughlin to talk about why you, or maybe someone in your life, spend so much time letting unsolicited sales calls - on the phone or in person - waste so much of their time. And why you feel guilty when you hang up on them. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

This episode is for caregivers of military and veterans. Join host Kay Coughlin as she talks to Shawn Moore, LMSW, Program Manager, Financial Wellness, Elizabeth Dole Foundation & Founder, Caregivers on the Homefront. Shawn is a caregiver for a veteran and, when she couldn’t find any help for herself, founded an organization to care for people with caregiver responsibilities in military and veteran situations. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

Content Warning: Brief discussion of suicidal ideation

Does it ever seem like you’re the one who adapts to everybody else - family, clients, colleagues and friends - but nobody bothers to accommodate you? In this episode, host Kay Coughlin talks about this aspect of Human Giver Syndrome, and how it can affect every part of your life. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

Join host Kay Coughlin to talk about celebrating your wins! Why? This is episode 100 of the podcast, and Kay wants to celebrate with YOU! As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

Join host Kay Coughlin as she talks to Fayron Epps, PhD, RN, about Fayron’s groundbreaking Alter Program. Alter was designed to bring people with dementia – and their caregivers – back to practicing faith. You’ll want to share this episode with your family and faith leaders! As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

Have you ever stopped to think about the difference between speed and haste? What would it mean for your work and life to be able to slow down and respond with thoughtfulness, instead of racing ahead and always rushing? Join jost Kay Coughlin for this episode about a free tool that’s available to all of us: the pause. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

How do you reclaim some time for yourself when it means making some changes, and when there are people who are going to be unhappy with you for doing it? That’s what host Kay Coughlin is talking about in this episode of the podcast. Because reclaiming some time is one of the fastest ways to start taking better care of yourself. As always, no judgment, no guilt, and no pressure.

Join host Kay Coughlin and Kandis Draw, contributor to Caregiving.com and a member of the Illinois State Commission for Gynecological Cancers. Kandis talks about what it was like as a 30-year old to care for her mother, full-time, for 3 years. She shares her real-world thoughts on what caregivers really need while they are in their caregiving years. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

In this episode, host Kay Coughlin talks about how setting boundaries is a two-for-one deal: when you set boundaries, you’re also setting priorities. As always, there's no judgment, no guilt, and no pressure.

The holidays are more exhausting for some people. If you’re one of those people, this episode is for you. Join host Kay Coughlin as she talks about how to use your fatigue as a tool to help you figure out what you need right now to reduce your load this season. As always, no judgment, no guilt, and no pressure.

In this episode, host Kay Coughlin answers a question that comes up a lot in families, “Why won’t my adult kids help with anything over the holidays?” Listen as Kay shares how the solution starts with setting expectations and then deciding in advance what your boundaries are. As always, no judgment, no guilt and no pressure.

Join host Kay Coughlin for part one of her interview with Kate Washington, author of “Already Toast: Caregiving and Burnout in America.” Kay and Kate talk about what it’s like to feel erased as a family caregiver and why caregiver isolation is such a problem in our culture. As always, no judgment, no pressure and  no guilt!

“Forgive and forget.” Who hasn’t heard that a million times? The thing is, forgiveness is a complete act. Turns out, you don’t have to forget or reconcile after you forgive somebody. Join host Kay Coughlin to explore this radical way of looking at forgiveness that could free you from a lifetime of emotional baggage. As always, no judgment, no pressure and no guilt!

88. Join host Kay Coughlin for this energetic discussion with Cathy Sikorski, longtime Elder Lawyer and family caregiver. Among many other topics, you’ll get a brief overview of the “big four” legal documents that are critical to have in any caregiving situation. Also, you’ll hear some of what Cathy has learned during her 30 years as a caregiver about how to make sure you get real self-care. As always, you can expect real talk with no judgment, no guilt and no pressure!

If holidays are a major source of stress for you, it’s time to take a new approach to your holidays. You can reduce your stress by getting ahead of it. In part one on this topic, your host Kay Coughlin guides you through how to think through your holidays to identify the stressful situations that are specific to you. As always, you'll find real talk with no pressure, no judgment and no guilt.

Ever wonder why it’s so dang hard for you to share responsibilities with other people? And why you have so much trouble accepting help, even when you need and want it so much? In this episode, your host Kay Coughlin talks about the generations of women in her family who have struggled with this exact problem and how it shows up in her life today. And the good news is that Kay is finally breaking this pattern - and you can too!

Health and fitness coach Jenn Abbenhaus felt she already had an unusual sensitivity to the needs of her clients with family caregiver responsibilities - and then she became a caregiver for her own grandfather. In this episode, Jenn and host Kay Coughlin get real about taking care of yourself when there’s so much pressure to feel guilty if you’re not focusing 100% of your efforts on being a caregiver. As always, there's no judgment, no guilt and no pressure!

The planning it takes to go on a break can be intense and stressful, especially for people with family caregiver responsibilities. If doing all the prep just to get out the door makes you want to skip the whole idea of taking a break, but you know you’re desperate for one, this episode is for you. As always, there's no judgment, guilt or pressure here!

With so many messages coming at us every day, how do we tune out the ones that aren’t helpful? And how do we sort through it all to figure out what’s useful and what’s not? Join host Kay Coughlin as she encourages all of us to consider this so we can live in a way that’s freeing. As always, there's no judgment, guilt or pressure here.

Join host Kay Coughlin as she talks to Kim Terry, executive director of Nancy’s House. Nancy’s House is a nonprofit currently operating on the east coast of the U.S., providing retreats and other services focused on helping family caregivers take better care of themselves.

What happens when you think about doing less? If it’s hard to even consider, and your mind starts sounding off some alarm bells, you’re not alone. We’ve been conditioned to do more, not less. In this episode, your host Kay Coughlin talks about the reasons it’s so hard to do less, and how you can get started when you are ready. As always, no judgment or guilt, and no pressure!

Can you really say no and still be a kind person? Yes, you can. In this episode, your host, Kay Coughlin, explains why we confuse these two behaviors and how you can say no and still be kind if you want to.

In this episode, host Kay Coughlin talks about ways she is being gentle with herself. Even when our culture seems to be pushing in the opposite direction. Kay gets pretty honest here, in the hopes that something she admits will help you be more gentle with yourself, too.

Gen X and Millennial family caregivers don’t get much attention and don’t get much in the way of resources right now. Yet as the middle generations of adults, we are the silent backbone of our families and of the economy. And we don’t have to put up with being ignored, and left to struggle alone, anymore. As always, there's no judgment and no guilt here.

What if you could transform “yes” into “HECK YES!” What if you could stop saying “yes” so darn fast, and instead, you could learn to pause before you say “yes?” Join host Kay Coughlin to talk about how to say “yes” from a place that will make your life better and more fulfilling. As always, there’s no guilt and no judgment here.

If the thought of saying “no” makes you feel a little (or a lot) uneasy, you’re not alone. Join host Kay Coughlin for this very practical episode on how to say “no” even when you feel uncomfortable. As always, no guilt and no judgment here!

Humans need rest. It’s a biological fact. Why, then, do we push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion, mental anguish, and physical stress before we finally whisper to someone, “I need a break”? Join host Kay Coughlin in this episode to find out how you can help yourself get a break before you are desperate. As always, no judgment and no guilt!

If you are fed up with people making and changing plans on you at the last minute (or even worse, cancelling), this episode is for you. Join host Kay Coughlin to hear what you can do so that you don’t have to be the victim of this kind of disrespect any more.

Did you know it’s totally normal for family caregivers to feel grief over the way your life used to look? Missing something that’s gone is just grief, and it doesn’t make you a bad person!  Join host in this episode Kay Coughlin to explore this sensitive and somewhat taboo topic. As always, no judgment and no guilt.

Is the saying “I’ve just gotta get through this day” the only thing that’s getting you through most of your days? You’re not alone! Join host Kay Coughlin to find out how to use this very common saying as a clue to get what you really need out of daily life. As always, there's no judgment and no guilt here.

Tough love and boundaries. What’s the difference? Does it even matter? There’s room in relationships for both boundaries and tough love. It’s really about knowing what makes them different and knowing which one to use when.

Do you ever feel like other people only see you as a caregiver? Does it feel like they’ve forgotten about all the other things that are important to you, too? In this episode, your host Kay Coughlin names this for what it is - an identity crisis - and talks about how to overcome it. As always, no judgment and no guilt!

What do you do if you’re a person with family caregiver responsibilities - and your family refuses to cooperate with what you want and need? And what if the person who refuses to cooperate is the person you care for? That’s what host Kay Coughlin is talking about in this episode of the podcast. As always, there's no judgment and no guilt here!

Join host Kay Coughlin in this episode to learn what self-compassion really is and how it can change your life for the better.. If you think self-compassion is a practice that will make you weak and passive, you couldn’t be farther from the truth!

What do you believe about taking care of yourself right now? That’s going to show up in the way you actually take care of yourself (or not). Join Kay Coughlin for this episode about how to notice the beliefs and thoughts that are in your mind right now. So that you can choose what you really want instead. As always, there’s no guilt and no judgment here!

In this episode, host Kay Coughlin talks about how judging voices don’t have to control your life anymore. Whether the judging is coming from somebody else or from your own mind, you have a choice about how much power it has over you.

Feeling stress is a normal human experience. If you’re tired of hearing unhelpful advice about how to manage it, listen to this episode as Kay Coughlin gives you practical, truly useful tips.

In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about the important difference between being nice and being kind. As people with caregiver responsibilities, we often think we’re at the limits of what we can handle. That’s when a commitment to kindness can make all the difference. There are times for both niceness and kindness, but how do you know the difference?

In this bonus episode, Kay Coughlin reads her article called "What overwhelm is trying to tell you." You can use your overwhelm as a source of data, so that you can ultimately reduce the overwhelm.