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Dear Adult Daughter

Dear Adult Daughter

By Karen C.L. Anderson

A bite-sized podcast for those who want to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers, who want to experience that relationship differently, and not be miserable in the process.
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Currently playing episode

What a sunflower taught me about being true to myself

Dear Adult DaughterMar 30, 2023

00:00
07:34
On overcooked rice and shame

On overcooked rice and shame

Pre-S: Click here to pre-order You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame!


Dear Adult Daughter is a podcast for those who want to #1 overcome the shaming they received from their mothers, #2 step out more confidently into the world and do what they came here to do, #3 take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers, and #4 not be miserable in the process.  


I got you.


Three books that can help: 

Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters

The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic.


Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.


Book 1:1 coaching with me.



May 19, 202304:24
What's Worth Celebrating?

What's Worth Celebrating?

Pre-S: Click here to pre-order You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame!


Dear Adult Daughter is a podcast for those who want to #1 overcome the shaming they received from their mothers, #2 step out more confidently into the world and do what they came here to do, #3 take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers, and #4 not be miserable in the process.  


I got you.


Three books that can help: 

Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters

The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic.


Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.


Book 1:1 coaching with me.




May 14, 202302:20
To visit or not to visit (and what to do with the inevitable uncomfortable feelings that arise when you decide)

To visit or not to visit (and what to do with the inevitable uncomfortable feelings that arise when you decide)

Pre-S: Speaking of being a good mother to ourselves, I am delighted to participate in the reMothering Masterclass. This free event starts May 6, and you can learn more and register here.


Dear Adult Daughter is a podcast for those who want to #1 overcome the shaming they received from their mothers, #2 step out more confidently into the world and do what they came here to do, #3 take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers, and #4 not be miserable in the process.  


I got you.


Three books that can help: 

Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters

The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic.


Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.


Book 1:1 coaching with me.



May 05, 202307:26
The dog that ate my sock and the big lie about mindset
Apr 14, 202307:29
Grab Your Machete!
Apr 09, 202307:08
What a sunflower taught me about being true to myself
Mar 30, 202307:34
Glowing with the energy of a thousand suns
Mar 19, 202305:22
You Do Not Owe Her This

You Do Not Owe Her This

Dear Adult Daughter is a podcast for those who want to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers, who want to experience that relationship differently, and not be miserable in the process.  

I got you.  Two books that can help:
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters and The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.

Experience coaching with me.

​The Mother Lode is a safe, personalized, nurturing coaching container to get support in taking better care of yourself in the relationship you have with your mother.

To reconnect you to the parts of yourself that you may disconnected from. To love and trust yourself more.

Along the way you will cultivate an inner command over how you feel and react, no matter what she’s doing or saying.

You will maintain the boundaries you set, and not override them.

You will feel safer when expressing anger.

You will be able to separate yourself emotionally from her so you know where she ends and you begin.

You will find yourself able to be with and process feelings like guilt, regret, shame, and fear.

Your mother will no longer be the subject the sucks the life out of you.

You will know what to do in the moment "when your mom is going loco on you."

You will become the leader in the relationship.


Mar 14, 202301:22
The difference between "calm" and "regulated"

The difference between "calm" and "regulated"

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother (or adult daughter) or you wouldn't be here, yes? Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process.  I got you.  Two books that can help: Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters and The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.

Check out my Tiktoks.

Experience coaching with me.

​The Mother Lode is a safe, personalized, nurturing coaching container to get support in taking better care of yourself in the relationship you have with your mother.

To reconnect you to the parts of yourself that you may disconnected from. To love and trust yourself more.

Along the way you will cultivate an inner command over how you feel and react, no matter what she’s doing or saying.

You will maintain the boundaries you set, and not override them.

You will feel safer when expressing anger.

You will be able to separate yourself emotionally from her so you know where she ends and you begin.

You will find yourself able to be with and process feelings like guilt, regret, shame, and fear.

Your mother will no longer be the subject the sucks the life out of you.

You will know what to do in the moment "when your mom is going loco on you."

You will become the leader in the relationship.

Mar 08, 202305:12
This one is dedicated to Bella
Feb 26, 202305:36
When the relationship you have with your mother affects your other relationships
Feb 18, 202304:08
Estrangement isn’t the disease but it can be the medicine
Feb 12, 202313:18
What's yours...and what's not yours
Feb 05, 202305:12
Unhelpful assumptions about why adult daughters go no-contact, and what's more likely
Jan 29, 202309:55
The fury-devastation-shame cycle
Jan 22, 202308:40
Becoming the person who would have protected you as a child

Becoming the person who would have protected you as a child

Word Of The Year Mini-Workshop (a live, in-person event in Southeastern Connecticut)

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother (or daughter) or you wouldn't be here, yes? Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process.

I got you.

Two books that can help: Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters and The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.  

Continue listening to the Dear Adult Daughter podcast.

Or check out my Tiktoks.

Experience coaching with me.

Jan 15, 202306:33
This one is for mothers who don't know what to do

This one is for mothers who don't know what to do

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother (or daughter) or you wouldn't be here, yes?
Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process.

I got you.

If you haven't yet read
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, do that first.

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.  Continue listening to the Dear Adult Daughter podcast.

Or check out my Tiktoks.

Ready to do some hands-on work? Click here to schedule a consult with me and we'll chat about what you're wanting to accomplish and if working together is a good fit. I offer 1:1 coaching ONLY at various price points.


Jan 08, 202305:58
anger that's powerless and anger that's powerful

anger that's powerless and anger that's powerful

I am taking a small break from the podcast. Will be back after the start of 2023.

Dec 12, 202203:39
Got guilt? Here's a little secret...

Got guilt? Here's a little secret...

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother or you wouldn't be here, yes? ​ Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process. ​ ​ ​I got you.​ ​ ​If you haven't yet read Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, do that first.

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.  Continue listening to the Dear Adult Daughter podcast.

Or check out my Tiktoks. ​ ​

Ready to do some hands-on work? Spend a day with me 1:1 in a Mother Lode Intensive! These day-long 1:1 coaching sessions will be held on Fridays, starting January 6, 2023. Click here to learn more and schedule yours. ​ ​

The Mother Lode 20-week 1:1 coaching program is, of course, still an option and I have three spots open. This is my signature offering, but do not mistake it for a template or formula that I run every client through. This is a custom process designed for you and your specific challenges. Click here to schedule a consult with me and we'll chat about what you're wanting to accomplish and if working together is a good fit.


Dec 04, 202201:31
Disrupting the status quo even more than I have already

Disrupting the status quo even more than I have already

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother or you wouldn't be here, yes? ​ Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process. ​ ​ ​I got you.​ ​ ​If you haven't yet read Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, do that first.

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.  Continue listening to the Dear Adult Daughter podcast.

Or check out my Tiktoks. ​ ​

Ready to do some hands-on work? Spend a day with me 1:1 in a Mother Lode Intensive! These day-long 1:1 coaching sessions will be held on Fridays, starting January 6, 2023. Click here to learn more and schedule yours. ​ ​

The Mother Lode 20-week 1:1 coaching program is, of course, still an option and I have three spots open. This is my signature offering, but do not mistake it for a template or formula that I run every client through. This is a custom process designed for you and your specific challenges. Click here to schedule a consult with me and we'll chat about what you're wanting to accomplish and if working together is a good fit.

Nov 27, 202203:58
On Anger and Shame: confronting the bully on the school bus

On Anger and Shame: confronting the bully on the school bus

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother or you wouldn't be here, yes? ​ Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process. ​ ​ ​I got you.​ ​ ​If you haven't yet read Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, do that first.

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.  Continue listening to the Dear Adult Daughter podcast.

Or check out my Tiktoks. ​ ​

Ready to do some hands-on work? Spend a day with me 1:1 in a Mother Lode Intensive! These day-long 1:1 coaching sessions will be held on Fridays, starting January 6, 2023. Click here to learn more and schedule yours. ​ ​

The Mother Lode 20-week 1:1 coaching program is, of course, still an option and I have three spots open. This is my signature offering, but do not mistake it for a template or formula that I run every client through. This is a custom process designed for you and your specific challenges. Click here to schedule a consult with me and we'll chat about what you're wanting to accomplish and if working together is a good fit.

Nov 20, 202204:50
"Negative" emotions are not boundaries

"Negative" emotions are not boundaries

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother or you wouldn't be here, yes? ​ Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process. ​ ​ ​I got you.​ ​ ​If you haven't yet read Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, do that first.

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.  Continue listening to the Dear Adult Daughter podcast.

Or check out my Tiktoks. ​ ​Ready to do some hands-on work? Spend a day with me 1:1 in a Mother Lode Intensive! These day-long 1:1 coaching sessions will be held on Fridays, starting January 6, 2023. Click here to learn more and schedule yours. ​ ​

The Mother Lode 20-week 1:1 coaching program is, of course, still an option and I have four spots open. This is my signature offering, but do not mistake it for a template or formula that I run every client through. This is a custom process designed for you and your specific challenges. Click here to schedule a consult with me and we'll chat about what you're wanting to accomplish and if working together is a good fit.

Nov 13, 202202:31
There Are Some Things You Can't Think Your Way Out Of

There Are Some Things You Can't Think Your Way Out Of

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother or you wouldn't be here, yes? ​ Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process. ​ ​ ​I got you.​ ​ ​If you haven't yet read Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, do that first.

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.  Continue listening to the Dear Adult Daughter podcast.

Or check out my Tiktoks. ​ ​Ready to do some hands-on work? Register for the Healthy Boundaries Workshop, taking place Saturday, November 12.​ ​ ​Want to spend a day with me 1:1? Mother Lode Intensives! These day-long 1:1 coaching sessions will be held on Fridays, starting January 6, 2023. Click here to learn more and schedule yours. ​ ​The Mother Lode 20-week 1:1 coaching program is, of course, still an option and I have four spots open. This is my signature offering, but do not mistake it for a template or formula that I run every client through. This is a custom process designed for you and your specific challenges. Click here to schedule a consult with me and we'll chat about what you're wanting to accomplish and if working together is a good fit.

Nov 06, 202204:19
How to change the way you experience the relationship

How to change the way you experience the relationship

You want to change something about the relationship you have with your mother or you wouldn't be here, yes?

Also, you don't want to be miserable in the process. ​

​I got you.​

​If you haven't yet read
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, do that first. 

Subscribe to read my Loves Notes.

Continue listening to the Dear Adult Daughter podcast

Or check out my Tiktoks.

​Ready to do some hands-on work? Register for the Healthy Boundaries Workshop, taking place Saturday, November 12.​

​Want to spend a day with me 1:1? Mother Lode Intensives! These day-long 1:1 coaching sessions will be held on Fridays, starting January 6, 2023. Click here to learn more and schedule yours.

The Mother Lode 20-week 1:1 coaching program is, of course, still an option and I have four spots open. This is my signature offering, but do not mistake it for a template or formula that I run every client through. This is a custom process designed for you and your specific challenges. Click here to schedule a consult with me and we'll chat about what you're wanting to accomplish and if working together is a good fit.

Oct 30, 202203:25
sometimes standing up for yourself doesn't look like you think it will

sometimes standing up for yourself doesn't look like you think it will

Read the the post I refer to here: Advanced Boundary Setting 

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for those who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Oct 23, 202205:28
Silence is a complete sentence

Silence is a complete sentence

Healthy Boundaries Workshop: click here to learn more

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for those who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Oct 16, 202201:51
Shifting shame

Shifting shame

Books on sale! Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration; The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal; and Overcoming Creative Anxiety are part of Amazon's Prime Early Access Sale, which starts October 11 and runs through October 12.

Healthy Boundaries Workshop: click here to learn more

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for those who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Oct 09, 202203:26
How To Make Setting Boundaries Less Confrontational

How To Make Setting Boundaries Less Confrontational

Healthy Boundaries Workshop: click here to learn more

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for those who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Oct 02, 202204:42
The best kind of anger

The best kind of anger

Healthy Boundaries Workshop: click here to learn more

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Sep 25, 202205:01
What the boundaries memes tend to get wrong

What the boundaries memes tend to get wrong

Healthy Boundaries Workshop: click here to learn more

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Sep 18, 202202:48
It's not always a matter of not taking it personally
Sep 11, 202206:40
Revealing patterns associated with our mothers
Sep 04, 202203:60
When you still feel like a child
Aug 28, 202203:19
Freeing yourself from this dynamic is the real flex
Aug 21, 202202:50
Healthy boundaries DO NOT require these things
Aug 14, 202204:51
What emotional pain and physical pain have in common

What emotional pain and physical pain have in common

When Chronic Pain Becomes Who You Are

Your Self-Concept 

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Aug 07, 202209:05
Notice when you have the urge to explain, defend, or prove

Notice when you have the urge to explain, defend, or prove

Have a question for Karen? Click here.

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.


Jul 31, 202209:31
Boundaries troubleshooting

Boundaries troubleshooting

Click here to learn more about your nervous system and some simple regulating techniques.

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Jul 24, 202205:33
Two of the most exhausting words in the English language...

Two of the most exhausting words in the English language...

Click here to learn more about Possessing Worthiness: A Shame Resilience Workshop

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.


Jul 17, 202204:02
This is the work that breaks cycles

This is the work that breaks cycles

Click here to learn more about Possessing Worthiness: A Shame Resilience Workshop

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Jul 10, 202209:52
Creating safety
Jul 03, 202207:38
What you are not responsible for
Jun 26, 202201:21
About gaslighting
Jun 19, 202207:59
What are your red flags

What are your red flags

Click here to read the Love Note referenced in this episode.

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to be the leader in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Jun 12, 202204:13
When you want revenge
Jun 05, 202206:58
Cultivating shame resilience

Cultivating shame resilience

Click here to learn more about Possessing Worthiness: A Shame Resilience Workshop

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who's work is for women who wish to be the leader in the relationship they have with their mothers. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

May 29, 202208:55
When you put your judgement in her mouth
May 22, 202204:33
"What do I say at her funeral?"
May 15, 202207:19
My abortion story
May 08, 202207:58
What is estrangement here to teach us?
May 01, 202206:32
5 ways to deal with narcissistic behavior

5 ways to deal with narcissistic behavior

Get the boundaries guide here.

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author. Difficult mother-daughter relationships are her jam. Her coaching practice is trauma-informed and based on intersectional feminist principles. She recognizes that what's possible personally is what's possible collectively and that the Mother Wound is not actually about mothers but about systems and structures that oppress all women. She understands that adage "hurt people hurt people" but prefers to say "people who are unaware of their hurt sometimes hurt other people" while acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy doesn't mean you have to hang out with hurt people and that healthy boundaries (up to an including going "no contact" even if just temporarily) are at the heart of healthy relationships. Interested in learning more? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Apr 24, 202204:36
One way to take yourself out of the guilt/resentment loop
Apr 17, 202203:57
Dear mothers of adult daughters
Apr 10, 202211:40
Three Truths

Three Truths

Clarification: it wasn't the previous episode in which I mentioned the three truths, it was this episode: Being Sensitive Isn't A Problem

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author for women who have difficult relationships with their mothers (or adult daughters). She helps them improve their relationship by getting clear on what they value, setting and maintaining boundaries that actually work, and re-mothering themselves..

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Apr 03, 202203:43
6 ways to deal with shame

6 ways to deal with shame

Book mentioned: The MindBody Code by Dr. Mario Martinez

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author for women who have difficult relationships with their mothers (or adult daughters). She helps them improve their relationship by getting clear on what they value, setting and maintaining boundaries that actually work, and re-mothering themselves..

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Mar 27, 202206:01
Ripple Effects

Ripple Effects

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author for women who have difficult relationships with their mothers (or adult daughters). She helps them improve their relationship by getting clear on what they value, setting and maintaining boundaries that actually work, and re-mothering themselves..

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Mar 20, 202204:12
complexity and contradiction

complexity and contradiction

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author for women who have difficult relationships with their mothers (or adult daughters). She helps them improve their relationship by getting clear on what they value, setting and maintaining boundaries that actually work, and re-mothering themselves..

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Mar 13, 202202:53
Being sensitive isn't a problem (+ 3 things to do when she is cruel)

Being sensitive isn't a problem (+ 3 things to do when she is cruel)

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author for women who have difficult relationships with their mothers (or adult daughters). She helps them improve their relationship by getting clear on what they value, setting and maintaining boundaries that actually work, and re-mothering themselves..

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Mar 06, 202205:51
Why letting go can be hard

Why letting go can be hard

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author for women who have difficult relationships with their mothers (or adult daughters). She helps them improve their relationship by getting clear on what they value, setting and maintaining boundaries that actually work, and re-mothering themselves..

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Feb 27, 202201:09
When it's your daughter who is the difficult one

When it's your daughter who is the difficult one

I will be a speaker at this year’s Moving Beyond Family Struggles Summit. This is a free online 4-day event taking place between March 2nd-5th, and includes 25 other experts in the fields of family relationship struggles, trauma, loss and overcoming adversity. Click here to register.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson helps smart, creative women take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers (or daughters)…and to use that relationship as a catalyst for growth, creativity, and wisdom.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Feb 21, 202207:34
141

141

Karen C.L. Anderson helps smart, creative women take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers…and to use that relationship as a catalyst for growth, creativity, and wisdom.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Feb 20, 202201:09
"Am I Wrong?"

"Am I Wrong?"

Karen C.L. Anderson helps smart, creative women take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers…and to use that relationship as a catalyst for growth, creativity, and wisdom.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Feb 13, 202202:25
The definitive guide to setting healthy, mature boundaries with your mother (without music)

The definitive guide to setting healthy, mature boundaries with your mother (without music)

(in which I revisit everything I've ever written about boundaries, add some new information, and put it one place...because boundaries are the #1 subject you ask about...to get the written version of this guide, with the nervous system regulating practices, send me an email: karen@kclanderson.com)

Karen C.L. Anderson helps smart, creative women take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers…and to use that relationship as a catalyst for growth, creativity, and wisdom.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Feb 09, 202214:14
The definitive guide to setting healthy, mature boundaries with your mother

The definitive guide to setting healthy, mature boundaries with your mother

(in which I revisit everything I've ever written about boundaries, add some new information, and put it one place...because boundaries are the #1 subject you ask about)

Karen C.L. Anderson helps smart, creative women take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers…and to use that relationship as a catalyst for growth, creativity, and wisdom.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what’s possible personally is what’s possible collectively, and that “the Mother Wound” is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” but prefers to say “people who are unaware of their hurts sometimes hurt other people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not mean you have to hang out with hurt people, and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Interested in working with Karen? Click here to schedule a free call with Karen.

Feb 06, 202209:50
Connecting to the part of you that feels and senses

Connecting to the part of you that feels and senses

Mentioned in this episode: When A Good Daughter Hates Caring For Her Aging Mother

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped thousands of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to answer a few questions and she will be in touch!


May 14, 202109:35
For you, if you dread Mother's Day

For you, if you dread Mother's Day

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped thousands of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to answer a few questions and she will be in touch!

May 08, 202102:59
Three things to know before re-establishing contact with your mother

Three things to know before re-establishing contact with your mother

Mentioned in this episode:

The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

Why Rehashing The Past Doesn't Work

Anti-Anxiety practice

Move the Energy practice

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped thousands of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to answer a few questions and she will be in touch!

Apr 20, 202109:55
More human, less "nice"

More human, less "nice"

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped thousands of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to answer a few questions and she will be in touch!

Apr 17, 202108:17
It's never about the "how" when it comes to boundaries

It's never about the "how" when it comes to boundaries

I'm baaaaack. And I am calling this Season 2 :-)

I learned something in the past year since starting this podcast: it's good for me to take time off from certain public-facing activities in the winter.

So for future reference, I will be doing this podcast regularly* April - December.

*"regularly" doesn't mean every week, it means mostly every week, sometimes twice a week and sometimes less than once a week.

In this episode I share a super simple way to work WITH your nervous system when setting boundaries. We typically won't set boundaries not because we don't know the "how" but rather because our nervous systems perceive setting boundaries as a serious threat.


Apr 12, 202105:17
An invisible dynamic that keeps you stuck in misery with your mother...and how to get out

An invisible dynamic that keeps you stuck in misery with your mother...and how to get out

Mentioned in this episode:

Beyond Victim Consciousness by Lynne Forrest

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped thousands of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to answer a few questions and she will be in touch!

Feb 10, 202111:00
Let's Talk About FODO (fear of disappointing others)

Let's Talk About FODO (fear of disappointing others)

Mentioned in this episode:

Why Re-hashing the Past Doesn't Work

How We Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn in Difficult Conversations: Adapting A Learning Mindset

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Interested in working with Karen? Book your free clarity call by clicking here.

Jan 15, 202113:09
It's Been 10 Years Since I Went 'No Contact' With My Mother: Enduring Lessons I've Learned Along The Way

It's Been 10 Years Since I Went 'No Contact' With My Mother: Enduring Lessons I've Learned Along The Way

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Interested in working with Karen? Book your free clarity call by clicking here.

Dec 28, 202025:05
Honor the Shadows

Honor the Shadows

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Dec 22, 202002:49
Are you full of yourself?

Are you full of yourself?

Click to send me a message and I will send you the two worksheets I mention in this episode.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Dec 16, 202009:08
Feeling good requires feeling everything

Feeling good requires feeling everything

Mentioned in this episode: Sophie Sabbage's brilliant TEDx talk: How Grief Can Help Us Win

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Dec 03, 202010:23
MYTH: apologies and forgiveness are necessary
Nov 23, 202007:29
Anger & Revenge

Anger & Revenge

The Lima Bean Story (podcast or blog)

Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

Email me and I'll send you four of my favorite somatic practices

Click here to schedule a clarity call. What happens on a Clarity Call? You share your story with me, you get clarity on your situation, and we identify next steps and obstacles that might be in the way. If appropriate, we can discuss working together.

Nov 16, 202017:06
To be able

To be able

Click here to schedule a clarity call. What happens on a Clarity Call? You share your story with me, you get clarity on your situation, and we identify next steps and obstacles that might be in the way. If appropriate, we can discuss working together longer term.

Nov 14, 202003:06
A brave, middle path

A brave, middle path

A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum

~~~

Click here to schedule some time for a virtual coffee date (via Zoom) so we can explore what you’re wanting to accomplish.

Oct 30, 202005:08
The most life-affirming thing you've ever done

The most life-affirming thing you've ever done

My clients are successful, creative women who establish and maintain healthy, mature boundaries; no longer rush to the less-than position in their relationships; and choose to express themselves clearly and cleanly. They have achieved a significant level of success by following the rules and now they’re choosing to be more authentic and vulnerable in public knowing they can handle haters and critics (even their mothers).

There are two ways to do the work with me:

The Mother Lode: is a six-month deep dive into your maternal lineage and more with the goal of revealing and healing painful patterns and stories, and transforming your legacy so you can show up in your life as the magnificent woman you are. This offer is for women who want to use the troubled relationship they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.They want to take their time and lay a solid foundation for their future selves.

Boundaries For Life: is an 8-week intensive with the goal of establishing and maintaining healthy, mature boundaries. This offer is for women who want to get it done (and now is a perfect time, with the holidays right around the corner) especially if you tend to shrink back, crumple, fold, or hide the minute someone challenges your boundaries.

Click here to schedule some time for a virtual coffee date (via Zoom) so we can explore what you’re wanting to accomplish.

Oct 22, 202005:36
How to handle it when your brain thinks horrible thoughts

How to handle it when your brain thinks horrible thoughts

This episode in response to questions asked about this episode: When you're accused of the thing you're most afraid of being accused of.

Mentioned: The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

~~~

My name is Karen C.L. Anderson and I am an adult daughter, with the emphasis on adult. I am also the author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration and The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing & Healing Toxic Generational Patterns.

In this podcast I answer questions from readers, tell stories, give advice, and share the tools and processes I’ve used to heal my relationship with my mother.

What started out as one of the most painful aspects of my life, something I saw as permanent and forever limiting, has turned into the greatest catalyst for my growth, wisdom, creativity, and joy.

I did that. I do it every day. And so can you.

~~~

On the surface, you think it’s about your mother.

Underneath, where it counts, it’s about you and your self-respect, self-trust, self-agency, and self-expression.

Your grown-ass-womanhood.

Your power, your choice, your creativity.

When you own that (and owning it is a life-long process . . . not a one-and-done-flip-of-a-switch), you will realize that no matter what the status of relationship with her, your relationship with yourself will change in ways you can’t even imagine.

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

Oct 17, 202005:56
Tell her it's hurtful...or ignore it?

Tell her it's hurtful...or ignore it?

My name is Karen C.L. Anderson and I am an adult daughter, with the emphasis on adult. I am also the author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration and The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing & Healing Toxic Generational Patterns.

In this podcast I answer questions from readers, tell stories, give advice, and share the tools and processes I’ve used to heal my relationship with my mother.

What started out as one of the most painful aspects of my life, something I saw as permanent and forever limiting, has turned into the greatest catalyst for my growth, wisdom, creativity, and joy.

I did that. I do it every day. And so can you.

~~~

On the surface, you think it’s about your mother.

Underneath, where it counts, it’s about you and your self-respect, self-trust, self-agency, and self-expression.

Your grown-ass-womanhood.

Your power, your choice, your creativity.

When you own that (and owning it is a life-long process . . . not a one-and-done-flip-of-a-switch), you will realize that no matter what the status of relationship with her, your relationship with yourself will change in ways you can’t even imagine.

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

Oct 10, 202003:38
When you're accused of the thing you most fear being accused of

When you're accused of the thing you most fear being accused of

This is especially for you if you're creative, you want to help others, and you know that involves "putting yourself out there" and perhaps inviting criticism,

Oct 02, 202017:00
"My mother bad mouths my father to me"
Oct 01, 202008:02
The key to making progress with your boundaries...

The key to making progress with your boundaries...

...is deciding to have them!

Want help?

Boundaries For Life is an 8-week 1:1 intensive coaching experience that will help you decide which boundaries you want to establish and maintain, and then actually establish and maintain them!

Sep 26, 202009:20
3 steps for dealing with a jealous mother
Sep 16, 202005:53
"I don't trust my mother"

"I don't trust my mother"

Sep 06, 202007:24
When it comes to boundaries explaining is optional

When it comes to boundaries explaining is optional

How To Set Pandemic Boundaries for Relatives (New York Times)

Click here to send me a message if you're interested in the Boundaries For Life two-month intensive

Aug 27, 202007:56
Is it a boundary, a request, or a demand?

Is it a boundary, a request, or a demand?

In this episode we explore the difference between healthy boundaries, requests, and demands/expectations.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.

Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective.

Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women.

She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Aug 06, 202004:41
The powerless position you put yourself in (and how to take yourself out)
Jul 30, 202008:46
Plan for the drama

Plan for the drama

An Invitation To Work With Me 1:1

I have an offer for you if you are a successful, creative woman (who maybe also has a bit of a rebellious streak) and who has a difficult or troubled relationship with your mother that you KNOW is negatively impacting important parts of your life. In other words, your mother is the Kryptonite to your Superwoman.

You want to:

Heal the relationship whether your mother participates or not Live with less guilt, anger, and defensiveness Learn the critical skill of responding, not reacting Feel both safe and empowered Shift your focus from blaming her (or yourself) to taking responsibility for yourself Establish and maintain healthy boundaries, up to and including going no contact if that’s the right choice for you Feel more positively about the relationship, even if you choose to have very little, or no contact with her (and even if your mother is no longer alive) No longer be defined by the relationship Use the relationship as a catalyst for your growth, creativity, and empowerment

We work together for six months on the following things: shoring up your nervous system with simple and easy mind-body-energy practices, revealing and examining unconscious patterns that may have been handed down to you, changing your relationship to and transforming those patterns, establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, and ultimately rewriting your story so it is no longer a source of chronic guilt, anger, and suffering.

In our six months together we will meet three to four times per month via Zoom. You’ll have the opportunity to record the calls if you’d like, and I will provide worksheets, resources, notes, action steps, tools etc. via email after each meeting. You will also receive hard copies of all three of my books!In order to qualify for this offer, it helps if you’ve had therapy and are not actively processing significant trauma, you are aware that you still have fears and habits that are holding you back, and you know they’re related to your relationship with your mother.

The price for this offer is a mid four-figure investment but small when you consider that this problem may be one of the most costly in the world: difficult mother-daughter relationships are part of what keep women stuck in “less than” positions, making less money, and less able to advocate for themselves. Not to mention the time and energy spent toggling between anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and hopelessness (and the effects on your health) and how this limits you and your creative expression.

It’s also small compared to the cost of people-pleasing and being boundary-less, not just in your relationship with her, but in other important relationships, including your own children.If you are interested in this offer, send me an email (karen@kclanderson.com) we'll have a quick chat to see if it's a fit for you.

Jul 15, 202003:11
How to get beyond pain to compassion

How to get beyond pain to compassion

Mentioned in this episode: Compassion and the true meaning of empathy (TED talk by Roshi Joan Halifax)

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

Jul 08, 202005:05
Why is it that we can only have superficial conversations?


Why is it that we can only have superficial conversations?


Mentioned in this episode: Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving, by Pete Walker

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

Jul 07, 202007:24
Let's talk about betrayal

Let's talk about betrayal

Mentioned in this episode:

Educated by Tara Westover

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing & Healing Toxic Generational Patterns, by Karen C.L. Anderson

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

Jul 02, 202008:10
Trauma does not have to = "sad" or "embarrassed"

Trauma does not have to = "sad" or "embarrassed"

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

:: After (The Before & After) (2011) :: The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)

:: Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)

:: The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)

:: Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

:: Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (July 2020)

Karen is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Jun 15, 202005:40
Stamina and Humility

Stamina and Humility

"The beauty of anti-racism is that you don't have to pretend to be free of racism to be an anti-racist. Anti-racism is the commitment to fight racism wherever you find it, including in yourself. And it's the only way forward." ~ Ijeoma Oluo

Free five-part course from Resmaa Menakem: Racialized Trauma

For a deeper dive: My Grandmother's Hands

A Letter To My White Male Friends Of A Certain Age 

Other resources can be found at the end of this blog post: Stamina And Humility

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

:: After (The Before & After) (2011)
:: The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
:: Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
:: The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
:: Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)
:: Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (July 2020)

Karen is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Jun 08, 202013:47
Let's connect more directly!

Let's connect more directly!

Learn more about and sign up for The Mother Lode: A Conversation About Emotions, Power & Creativity here.

Learn more about and sign up for the Overcoming Creative Anxiety book club here.

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.  You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question.  Subscribe to my email Love Notes.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

May 27, 202005:24
What does it mean to “break the cycle”?

What does it mean to “break the cycle”?

Read my essay in O Magazine about the lessons I learned from my stepchildren's mother as she was dying

~~~

I am hosting a special community project in the month of June. The Mother Lode: A Conversation About Emotions, Power & Creativity is a free month-long event in which 20 women will share their stories about what they've learned (or didn't learn) from their mothers about emotion, power, and creativity, and how they use what they learned in support of their work in the world. Learn more and join us by subscribing here.  

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.  You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question.  Subscribe to my email Love Notes.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

May 20, 202007:04
Does “doing the work” mean you eventually realize it was your fault all along?

Does “doing the work” mean you eventually realize it was your fault all along?

I am hosting a special community project in the month of June. The Mother Lode: A Conversation About Emotions, Power & Creativity is a free month-long event in which 20 women will share their stories about what they've learned (or didn't learn) from their mothers about emotion, power, and creativity, and how they use what they learned in support of their work in the world. Learn more and join us by subscribing here.

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.  You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question.  Subscribe to my email Love Notes.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

May 15, 202005:51
A way to eradicate needless shame

A way to eradicate needless shame

What stops you from being willing to love yourself unconditionally?

What are the conditions (if any) under which you allow yourself to love yourself?

What would it take to love yourself unconditionally, not "in spite of" or "no matter what" or "even though" but simply because of who you are and because you deserve your own unconditional love?

Make yourself an "I love myself BECAUSE..." list but instead of listing positive things….the things you think make you worthy of love, include all the things you would normally say "I am ashamed of myself because..." or "I feel guilty because..." or "I am bad because…").

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.  You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question.  Subscribe to my email Love Notes.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

May 04, 202010:40
Boundary Myths & Tips

Boundary Myths & Tips

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.  You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question.  Subscribe to my email Love Notes.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 28, 202018:46
Going "no contact"

Going "no contact"

Debunking Myths About Estrangement 

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.  You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question.  Subscribe to my email Love Notes.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, leadership, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 25, 202007:10
Lima beans, anger, and accountability

Lima beans, anger, and accountability

We choose to acknowledge that, at one time, we were victims. We suffered.

We choose not to blame ourselves and we remind ourselves that our mothers were the responsible adults at the time. Chances are our mothers were not able to take responsibility then, for a variety of reasons, and nor will they want to do so now, but that doesn’t mean we can't stop blaming ourselves.

We choose now to be responsible for our own healing (which will make it easier to be accountable for our own actions).

This is compassionate accountability. It is a felt experience not just an intellectual exercise. And it doesn't require forgiveness.

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.  You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question.  Subscribe to my email Love Notes.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 24, 202013:55
How will I feel if my mother dies before we reconcile and will I be able to handle it?

How will I feel if my mother dies before we reconcile and will I be able to handle it?

The movie I mentioned: The Hollars

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question.

Subscribe to my email Love Notes.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 20, 202007:11
How to deal with a jealous mother

How to deal with a jealous mother

11 Signs Your Mother Might Have Jealousy Issues

(P.S. I disagree with this: "The best thing you can do is support her, point out her accomplishments")

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 20, 202011:59
If you’re doing everything you can to not be like your mother, listen to this

If you’re doing everything you can to not be like your mother, listen to this

“If you have to act in a particular way to avoid being something you don’t like, you’re trapped.” ~ Debbie Ford, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 18, 202004:25
The exact things I do when I am practicing what I preach...

The exact things I do when I am practicing what I preach...

...and why I bother

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.


Apr 18, 202005:18
A brilliant quote about shedding the guilt associated with cutting family ties

A brilliant quote about shedding the guilt associated with cutting family ties

I shed my guilt (of cutting family ties) when I accepted my decision on its own terms, without endlessly prosecuting old grievances, without weighing his sins against mine. Without thinking of my father I learned to accept my decision for its own sake, because of me not because of him, because I needed it not because he deserved it. It was the only way I could love him. ~ Tara Westover in her memoir, Educated

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 18, 202002:45
How do you make peace with the idea of never actually making peace with your mother?

How do you make peace with the idea of never actually making peace with your mother?

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 18, 202004:59
A similar question from two adult daughters

A similar question from two adult daughters

Mentioned in this episode: Beyond Victim Consciousness, by Lynne Forrest

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 18, 202004:60
“Your freedom is more important than their anger”

“Your freedom is more important than their anger”

“no
might make them angry
but
it will make you free.

- if no one has ever told you,
your freedom is
more important than their anger.”

~ Nayyirah Waheed, Salt

~~~

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

~~~

Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.

She is the author of:

After (The Before & After) (2011)
The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother (2015…no longer available)
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters, A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018)
The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing and Healing Toxic Generational Patterns (January, 2020)
Dear Adult Daughter, With the Emphasis On Adult (May 2020)
Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity To Flow (June 2020)

Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.

She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.

Apr 18, 202002:00
Dear Adult Daughter - Introduction

Dear Adult Daughter - Introduction

My name is Karen C.L. Anderson and I am an adult daughter, with the emphasis on adult. I am also the author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration and The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing & Healing Toxic Generational Patterns.

In this podcast I answer questions from readers, tell stories, give advice, and share the tools and processes I’ve used to heal my relationship with my mother.

What started out as one of the most painful aspects of my life, something I saw as permanent and forever limiting, has turned into the greatest catalyst for my growth, wisdom, creativity, and joy.

I did that. I do it every day. And so can you.

~~~

On the surface, you think it’s about your mother.

Underneath, where it counts, it’s about you and your self-respect, self-trust, self-agency, and self-expression.

Your grown-ass-womanhood.

Your power, your choice, your creativity.

When you own that (and owning it is a life-long process . . . not a one-and-done-flip-of-a-switch), you will realize that no matter what the status of relationship with her, your relationship with yourself will change in ways you can’t even imagine.

Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

Apr 18, 202001:56