The Birthing Your Book Podcast

I have Viola Hug joining me to talk all about Human Design and parenting and birthing her Human Design Affirmations for Kids series.

We talk about...

• How the idea for these books came into her life after the birth of her second child and deeply surrendering to the void.

• How they tackled designing and illustrating a kids book, which had previously felt like a sticking point.

• The gift of understanding their unique energy that we can give our children.

• Supporting our kids in their energy type while also honouring our own needs.

• What’s going to be inside the Human Design Parenting book, coming soon!

Viola Hug (They/She) is a renowned writer, speaker, and mentor; a parent of two, and has been a leader in the Human Design field since 2017. They deeply understand the power of individual energetics and how it can be used to create more harmony, understanding, and connection within family units. Viola is a 4/6 Splenic Manifestor.

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Today I have Kelley Webb joining me on the podcast to share all about the creation and birthing process of her Own Your Light card deck and her book, Whispers from the Angels. Both creations took a couple years from first idea to being published in different ways and then making their way into the hands of lightworkers all around the world.

Kelley is a Spiritual Mentor and incredibly powerful guiding light for women to remember who they are and reclaim their power. You can find her as Kelley Webb or The Gypsy Mumma all over the internet.

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I recently got up at 6am (on a Sunday, during a weekend away with my husband for his birthday) to attend Rachel Symington’s Lazy Bitches Mini-Retreat only to discover that I’d missed the first hour due to daylight saving changes.

In this episode I’m sharing…

• Why it was even an aligned decision to attend, given my life circumstances.

• How the daylight savings ‘mistake’ was a blessing in disguise.

• The miraculous way I woke up not once but twice that morning before my alarms.

• How I finally released the pressure, guilt, and shame around what time I go to bed.

• Why it matters less what time you go to bed or the measured amount of sleep you get, and matters so much more how you decide your sleep is going to affect your energy.

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What would it look like for you to be in a space sharing and dork grinning about your favourite things? Fully feeling into your excitement and obsession for what you’re passionate about. Whether that’s sexy paranormal romance, messages from your spirit guides, Carnival Row, or the incredible time of Cleopatra, Julius Caesar, and Jesus Christ.

When I asked myself this question – prompted by two delightfully free child Spirit Guides – I thought… how fun would it be to hang out with my soul sisters and to pull cards together, to share what we’re expanding into and what we’re dork grinning about, to share our big visions for our lives and have a safe space to fully feel into the excitement of what’s possible.

I invite you to create, explore, or join a space like this for yourself. Where you can feel free and joyful and PLAY.

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In this episode I’m sharing all about how I work as a book editor across non-fiction, fiction, and oracle card deck projects. If you’re curious about the editing process and the experience of working with an editor then you’re in the right place!

I share about how I go through three editing passes of a book looking at everything from the overall book structure and chapter flow, to line editing and grammatical style decision. How I support you through the experience of handing your baby over to someone asking them to help you make it better — which can feel an awful lot like they’re telling you all the things you didn’t do good enough. And how I support you to make aligned decisions, grounded in your full creative self expression, in the process of editing your book and bringing it into published form.

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In this episode I’m sharing about the delicious and delightful experience available for anyone who has a big creative project calling their name and demanding their attention. That thing that feels really big, bigger than your body, but that your heart and soul is calling you to create.

You don’t really know how it’s all going to happen but the idea of it won’t leave you alone. It’s growing and blooming and you want to be along for the ride. Whatever this creative project is destined to become you want to nourish and nurture it, to deepen into your own mastery in this area.

I’m also announcing my new three month group mentoring container, Deepen into Mastery, where I join you on this journey of creating your book or signature program to support you in making this experience better than you could have ever imagined.

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In this episodeI’m talking about how I invest in mentoring support which is probably one of the biggest hot topics around the online coaching and mentoring space. It’s what we’re presented with, sold, and invited to join the most! I have had a journey of 6+ years in the online space investing in myself in the way of free workshops, paid workshops, group programs, group mentoring, and 1:1 coaching.

I wanted to share that journey and the process I now go through when deciding if I want support at all, what that support might look like, and if a coach or offer is the right fit for me.

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In this episode I’m revealing the topic of my big creative project that will become a book and my signature digital program.

Let’s talk about our relationship with time because our relationship with time is the most influential relationship in our lives. We measure everything again how long it takes, how fast or slow we’re progressing, when something is happening or needs to happen by. Our entire lives and our every experience is governed by our relationship to time and our schedule.

And yet freedom is found outside of time, in our experience of time, when we are fully present in the moment and in flow.

So let’s talk about time.

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In this episode I’m sharing about how I’ve started my big creative passion project! Will it become a book? Yeah, who am I kidding?! Will it also be an in-depth signature digital program? Hell yes.

I share about how the idea started, what tools I’m using, and why the most important thing is spending time with the idea. I talk about how I’m protecting the creation process from the pressure to monetise the idea and any expectations on when things will happen or how the idea will develop.

I want to revel in the creation process. I want to allow myself to be surprised and delighted. I want to allow myself to go deeper with my understanding, integration, and embodiment.

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In this episode I’m sharing how I was invited to plan editing projects through 2023 and how it freaked me out! I have spent the past three years in business guided by my vision and the next aligned actions. In all that time I’ve never planned more than one or two weeks ahead.

Prior to that I would have annual planning retreats with my business bestie to break the year ahead into quarterly and monthly goals. I would relish the new year period for the onslaught of planners and ways to finally stay on track.

And now, I was invited to find a way to plan the year ahead while honouring my feminine flow and not dropping back into old hyper masculine, toxic productivity conditioning. This episode is the story of how I did just that.

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In this episode I’m sharing my experience in pursuit of The Thing that is my passion and purpose. The Thing that will become my prosperous online business. The Thing that will attract an ever growing audience. The Thing that will convert that audience effortlessly into offers that will make me millions.

When it appeared that I had found The Thing with book editing, I was shown the choice of two different paths forward.

I remembered that it’s not about one thing at all. It’s never about one thing. It’s always, always about the journey and not one single destination. And how opening ourselves to more than one thing, to these things ebbing and flowing, allows us to be ever more present and joyful in the now.

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On this episode I’m talking about the hate-hate relationship I’ve had with daily habits my whole life. First it was because I could never “make” myself stick to them and then it was a FU to a society built around men who have a daily hormone cycle when, as a woman, I have a monthly hormone cycle.

Over the past month I’ve redefined and reestablished my relationship with commitment, committing to consistent action, daily action, weekly action. It’s not WHAT I’m doing that matters, it’s HOW I’m doing it. How I’m approaching daily habits now has made all the difference.

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In this episode I’m talking to three concepts in business that we have tied very tightly together that don’t inherently have to be attached. They are only connected because we have been told and taught and believe them to be so. Yet there are so many more possibilities and opportunities and paths of ease available to us when we disconnect these concepts from each other.

The concepts are… receiving money, our paid work, and our creative self expression.

We have tangled these three up together to try to control our results and to create a sense of safety and security in our actions. This approach has also created all sorts of limitations for ourselves, our creativity, and our experience that I have personally been through and continue to practice avoiding today.

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In this episode I’m taking you behind the scenes of the journey I’ve experienced in birthing this podcast after declaring years ago that I would NOT do a podcast and completely taking it off the table.

That all changed in December 2021 as I started this podcast not for marketing purposes, not to grow my audience, not to make conversion and sales, but as a channel for creative self expression. A channel for my own creative self expression that didn’t require anyone to say yes to me. It didn’t require anyone to work with me, or sign up for my offers, or join me live.

One year into this journey of creative self expression I’ve changed my branding three times, it’s felt at times like when I was starting to do Facebook Lives for the very first time, and I’ve been propelled by discomfort to keep recording episodes.

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In today's episode I’m talking about the purpose of ideas and how I’ve discovered that so often the purpose of an idea is not the execution or the completion of the idea.

The purpose of the idea is simply to get us to the next step, to take us through our journey to the next point in the road. The purpose of the idea is to create safety and security and a sense of certainty so that we are supported to continue on the journey. These ideas can take us to all kinds of unexpected and delightful places. Places better than we could ever have imagined for ourselves.

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In today's episode I’m talking about how I’ve created more space in my life than I know what to do with, not just once but over and over and over again. I share the journey I’ve been on creating space through different phases of my life with my weekends, my family, and my business.

Then what happened when this book editing business lands and the clients are received. I find myself busy and booked out instead of the desired feeling of spacious and booked out. It’s a really interesting (read: growth) experience to have the spaciousness I have created in my life filled so completely not by things I don’t want to be doing but by my dreams coming true.

I’ve led myself back, once again, to the spacious life I desire while also expanding to hold all of these dreams that I want to be part of my life experience.

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In today's episode we’re continuing on behind the scenes of this book editing business landing and all my dreams starting to come true before I’ve even caught up with what’s happening.

I talk about how I went through a honeymoon phase with new clients and then needed to reintegrate back into life, back into a state of ebb and flow that could be sustained long term.

So, I’ve not even caught up to the fact that this book editing business is a thing I’m doing. I’m still working through putting the webpage together for my new offers and working with Rose on her books. Before I could even catch my breath or feel into what more would look like... How do I desire to expand? How do I desire to grow? Before I could shift into that space of… now I know the next level I want I’m falling into lack because of the gap between where I am and what I want. I want more clients but I don’t yet have more clients.

Before I could get to that point I have this new enquiry from a soul aligned client and I’m holding back tears in the bakery on the way to the spa for a massage.

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In this episode I’m taking you behind the scenes of how my book editing and coaching business manifested in a way that felt like the Universe offering it to me on a silver platter and I just needed to say yes.

The invitation came through my first book editing client, Rose Tautari, leading up to the interview we did together for the launch of her book, Soulprenuer.

And I thought, what if this could be a thing? What if I could get paid to read books that I would love to buy and read anyway? What if I could get paid to support people birthing these incredible stories out into the work? And amplify their missions and messages that I would love to share, anyway? What if I could do that as a job?

Needless to say, I said Hell Yes.

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On today’s episode I have the amazing Elliott Rose with me who is the author of the sexy paranormal romance, Sweet inferno. The first book in the Nocturnal Hearts series which is out this week.

We are going to go behind the scenes of the series to talk about how this idea and these characters came to Rose. How she’s experienced the writing process this time around after her previous non-fiction book, Soulpreneur. What the editing process was like and more!

As Rose’s editor, I have read Lia and Ferhn’s story in Sweet Inferno three times already and it just keeps getting better and better! Definitely check it out if you love sexy paranormal romance, or if you loved Bridgerton and like witches, werewolves, and vampires it could be your next favourite thing.

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Welcome to the Birthing Your Book podcast where we share this journey of experiencing a full creative self expression.

Today's episode is an interview I did with Rose Tautari as part of her book launch for Soulpreneur, the book that birthed this book editing and coaching business.

I am very excited to take you behind the scenes of how Rose and I became connected through this book and how this book editing thing became a thing. We also talk about what that book editing relationship and process looked like because the tagline of this podcast is not, Experiencing Full Creative Self Expression, without a reason.

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Welcome to this very first episode of the Birthing Your Book podcast. This third evolution of the podcast where I release an online business of six years and start a brand new one as book editor & coach for Soulpreneurs that seemed to just land divinely in my lap.

I am very excited to bring you a whole lot of different things under the banner of the Birthing Your Book Podcast, because we are here for full creative self expression. We are not here for limits. We are not here for niching down. We are not here for talking about one thing in isolation because even books do not live in isolation. They don't live in a vacuum. They are birthed through living our lives and they are often a piece of a business.

There will be interviews with authors going behind the scenes of writing, birthing, and publishing their soul purpose & calling in book form. I'll be sharing my own story through an early fiction writing career, corporate life, and pursuit of the 6-figure online business of deconditioning from toxic productivity, reconnecting with the feminine, and now the journey of finding a healed masculine-feminine balance.

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I'm so excited to be talking about Do you want it to feel easy or hard in episode 30

It is time to talk about what feels easy, what feels hard, and how that works with this concept of ease and flow.

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So I do invite you to join the conversation, feel free to respond to this in your own content and tag me.

Come on to YouTube, we'll have it up and you can pop anything you want to say in the comments there.

This episode is from a livestream series I did last year called Let Your Intuition Lead. The third in the series I speak about what happens once we hear what our intuition is suggesting, how to deal when we don’t like what it’s saying, and taking inspired action by allowing our intuition to lead.

“A lot of the time we get this idea and it freaks us out. We’re not ready to take action on it or even consider it further. But if we give it some time and space, it integrates and the idea comes back to us and we don’t have as strong of a reaction to it. It takes a little bit of integration and our bodies can actually shift a whole lot for us without us having to consciously do anything.”

“We want to act in flow over force. So if we are forcing anything, if we are feeling any resistance we need to stop and clear the resistance first. Then things will seem to just happen and it will feel easy. It won't feel like you're having to put much effort into it. Because you're not putting effort into fighting against all of these feelings of resistance and all of these limiting beliefs and all of these fears and worries that come up. That’s why it’s draining. That’s where all the energy and hard work is going.”

“When you have space, you can connect into your intuition and get really good at sitting still for a hot minute, allowing yourself to be bored, and asking yourself what you’d like to do. Sometimes you might start doing things and it’s not feeling like it fits. So you stop and you come back and ask yourself again… what else could I do? When you hold the space. When you let yourself think and you glance around and you try a little bit of one thing and you try a little bit of another thing you eventually figure out what fits and what feels right.”

***

This episode is from a livestream series I did last year called Let Your Intuition Lead. The second in the series is for those of us with bleeding wombs, who are connected to our intuition in a beautiful moonthly cycle that gets louder and louder as our cycle progresses. I share how we can use this cycle to connect deeper with our intuition despite a lifetime of being told it’s wrong.

“It's really important for us to not spend another few 100 years trapped outside of the very natural cycle that our bodies are going through. We have a reminder every day that our body is trying to speak to us every single month. Yet we've been taught that it's wrong. That it's not normal. That we can't trust ourselves. We can't trust how we're feeling. We can't honor how we're feeling. We should be feeling differently.”

“We’re going to feel angry, we're going to be moody, we're going to feel bitter and frustrated and annoyed and irritated. Because we are noticing all of the things in the world, in our life, the things on a daily basis, that are out of alignment for us. The things that we want to change, the things that we want to be different, the things that we want to improve.”

“Cycle by cycle, month by month, without doing anything you are connecting into your intuition, connecting into the wisdom that you have available to you. When we leverage the energies you have through your cycle we can make relatively effortless changes in our lives to align the life that you're living right now to the dreams that you have.”

***

This episode is from a livestream series I did last year called Let Your Intuition Lead. The first in the series I’m talking all about how we’re so conditioned to look outside of ourselves for answers, how well that’s served us (or not), and moments when we’ve still heard our intuition despite all the noise outside of ourselves.

“I'm all about not only supporting you in doing something different, but in how you were doing that. Because I want you, I want all of us, to be thoroughly enjoying our lives. There's a wild crazy idea, right? To thoroughly enjoy our lives, no matter what we're doing.”

“I was doing this thing that I didn't really love. And it was fine. And I was good at it. And I could tick all the boxes and get all the external approval. But it wasn't what was lighting me up. Looking back, I was probably depressed. I was fine when it was during the day and doing the things but you know… When you come back to your room at night and there's no distractions left and then you're just left with how you feel. It's really tough. And so looking back, all the way through for so many, many months there were a lot of signs from my body, from my intuition that I was not an alignment.”

“It could be when we made a decision in our adult life or in learning to be an adult. And it felt really yucky. It was an intuitive no and we Made The Wrong Decision. But our journey is our journey. We can only start where we are and go forward. So I really again want you to do your best to drop the blame, to release the shame of… I wish I had known this earlier. Of course you're going to wish you did this earlier. We have to move forward from where we are and take the lessons forward with us.”

***

In this episode I’m joined by Kayla Gebert, who is empowering wahine to embody their cyclical nature through the wisdom of consciously connecting with their menstrual cycle.

We had such a beautiful, nourishing conversation about…

* working with masculine and feminine energies

* cyclical rhythms we find in our menstrual cycle, the seasons, even in our days and weeks

* recognising and celebrating our anniversaries as mums (and parents) with reflection on our children’s birthdays and mother’s day

* learning to hear that intuitive voice inside of us

* using our cycles to embrace play and learn how to play as an adult

“There's a part of you that has been told it's wrong. There's a part of you that has been pushed down and hushed and quietened and told to be quiet. There's a little part of you that still there that knows that this is true. And I think when we do read a book or see a post or listen to a conversation like this, that is reflected back to us. That little part of us stands up and takes notice.” - Kerryn

“It’s such a gift to have this level of awareness and this entire conversation. This is what I wanted to do. I wanted to feel the fear and do it anyway. To bring these conversations out into the open because like you say, this is the third conversation you’ve had about it and this is my first conversation about this.” - Kayla

*****EDIT - in this episode infradian and circadian rhythms are mentioned the wrong way around, please reference Kayla's blog post here - https://thenavigoddess.squarespace.com/blog/cyclicalliving for more info

In this episode I’m talking about growing our businesses to a place where they can stand on their own, where they become a separate entity to our personal selves, where they can grow in impact beyond the limits of our person. It is in this way that our businesses facilitate the freedom, flexibility, and fulfilment we desire.

“We've grown this amazing business. We've built it up to a certain point. And it's become capped because it's capped by our energy and our space and our time. We need to allow our businesses to grow into their own entity that is separate to us. An entity that has its own energy and its own purpose.”

“As an individual person with our business as the founder, the creator of this business, this desire we have to impact through this way. We need to be able to move in our business. We need to be in our business but we need to be able to move around and not get tangled up, not get stuck in it. We need to be able to move freely around our business when we're in it. We need to be able to move out of our business and look all around it from lots of different perspectives.”

“When you can see all of your business, when you know what it looks like, you can be confident in what you've done. You can be confident that your team's got everything handled. So you can step away and be confident that your business is going to hold its shape. It's going to continue to grow and thrive without you holding it.”

*****

If you desire support and guidance to reshape your business to facilitate all the freedom, flexibility, and fulfilment that you desire, I’d love to hear from you.

This episode I’m sharing the incredible journey of creative self expression I’ve been on since reading The Sound of Paper by Julia Cameron and integrating my creative artist back into my current self.

“When we come from our soul purpose and our soul mission. First, we are here to create. And we are here to share. We're here to share words. We're here to share art. We're here to share in lots of different mediums. There's lots of different ways we can create and share our message and share our experience. We're here to be a channel for information that we don't know how we know it, but we just do. The reason why this creative self expression journey has been such a mind blowing experience for me is that it's kept that channel very clear and prioritized.”

“That little creative, that little artist inside us doesn't do well with pressure. They don't do well with deadlines. The creative process has its own timeline. It doesn't really care when we want things to happen. It's like no, no, this needs to be shared. And it'll be shared in this way. And if you haven't quite finished living it to be able to share it yet, then it's not going to come out right and it's going to feel forced. It's going to feel hard. It's going to feel like you have to make yourself do it. It's going to feel like the words aren't quite there.”

“We receive so much growth from creating and so we're doing ourselves a disservice. If we do not feel we can freely create what is on our hearts. If we do not feel like we can freely express our journey that we know is valuable for other people to hear about. We are doing ourselves a disservice.”

*****

If you desire support and guidance to live a creatively self expressed life first that flows seamlessly into fueling your business, I’d love to hear from you.

This episode began as a book club style discussion after reading The Sound of Paper by Julia Cameron and ended up being me sharing the very beginning of my journey as a fiction writer pursuing a career as a published novelist, what it looked like for me back then to be dedicated to that path, and how it all fell apart to leave me with online business.

“I always wanted to be a full time writer. I wanted to be a novelist. I wanted to be published. I wanted that to be the thing that I did in my life. And I also had that story that artists don't get paid well. Writers don't get paid well. That you don't get very much in commission or royalties. You have to sell a lot of books to be able to make a decent living. And I always looked at all those stories and thought… that might be true, but I'm going to find a way to do this, to do what I love, and to make a whole lot of money doing it.”

“I was so focused on being committed and doing the work and working hard and being dedicated to this and completing things. Because the faster I could complete a draft, the faster I could edit it, the faster it would get to a point where I could submit it, and the faster I could reach my goal. That was the only thing that mattered. Not the journey, not the experience, not the actual exploration of the story and characters and message and feeling that you can put into a story. Yeah, you can do that. But just do it quickly.”

“The act of creating no longer needs to be this tortured artist journey that we've heard so much about and that is so often seen in the world. I think the pursuit of creating art, just like the pursuit of our soul purpose, brings up stuff to heal. It brings up things so that we can expand and we can receive bigger ideas. And we can create those into the world as business offers, as workshops, as podcast episodes, as books. The pursuit of our soul purpose through business brings up all of that same stuff that a pursuit of art does.”

*****

If you desire support and guidance to navigate all the expansion, opportunities, and challenges on the path of pursuing your soul purpose, I’d love to hear from you.

In this episode I’m joined by Support Queen, Ebony Tipene talking about the deep desire we have to support and help others through our businesses. And yet are we able to receive that same level of support we’re so willing to lavish on our clients?

Ebony Tipene is a behind the scenes alchemist when it comes to supporting women in their businesses.

“Ultimately, what I do is give support. I give a lot of it all the time. That's what lights me up, lights my sacral on fire all the time. It's the receiving piece that's uncomfortable… thank you very much, I’m tapping out. It really did highlight for me the resistance to receiving the support on my end. The resistance to handing over really basic tasks that I could get my VA to do for me by just accepting that support from her.” - Ebony Tipene

“We don't like to put other people out. We don't like to think that the thing we want to do (especially if we're changing something) is inconveniencing somebody else. That's a dynamic we're often confronted with when we start to grow a team. That's where new paradigm relationships built on emotional intelligence, understanding our Human Design, and our energetics comes in. So that we're not making it mean that we're doing a bad job. We're not making it mean that we didn't hear or understand someone properly. No, no, I just changed things and that’s okay.” - Kerryn Hewson

“If that resistance is going to remain, the growth will never happen. It can't physically happen because I'm one person. I have a limited number of hours in the day that I am willing to dedicate to my office. And so if I don't surrender to the fact that I can get support quite easily. Reaching out to different people and saying… “Hey, I have this. Can you can you help me?” If I don’t surrender to that very soon then there will be no growth.” - Kerryn Hewson

If you would like to connect with Ebony over on Instagram @biz_alchemist_ebz

*****

If you know you need more support in your business and want help clearing away the resistance and building team relationships in a new paradigm way, I’d love to hear from you.

In this episode I share about the messy, busy, stuck, consumed place my clients are often in with their business when they work with me. I get so excited for them because I can see the space, the ease, and the expansion that we can facilitate together.

“There's the structures and support that I work with and I implement with you that hold enough. They just support you enough. So you feel like things are taken care of and it creates that sense of safety and security. So that you know where things are, you know things are taken care of, and you can focus on the tasks you want to be doing.”

“It becomes a very acute problem when you already have a team member because you become this bottleneck. You are assigning them tasks but all the tasks for the business are still going through you first. For them to be fully utilised, fully supported, have work lined up, and feel like they’re doing what you've asked of them… you need a structure that supports you as a team.”

“As the founder and owner of your business there are only two things you need to be involved in: creative direction and strategic direction. Read that again! You might want to be involved in more than that. But if we create your business as a separate entity to you, and you have capacity within the business so that you can choose what to be involved in. You can choose what clients you want to work with. You can choose what projects you want to work on.”

*****

If you’re not experiencing the freedom, flexibility, and fulfilment that you’ve always known your business could facilitate, I'd love to hear from you.

In this episode I’m talking about what happens after we decide that we are committing to finding and following the path of ease and flow. What happens after we declare that we are no longer available for doing life the hard way, when we are no longer available for forcing things.

“There’s this belief that’s holding you tied to the path of force. We’ve been able to force ourselves to do things and that’s gotten us a result, that’s how we’ve gotten the thing we wanted. This is how we create the motivation to force ourselves to do things. Because of these beliefs and thought patterns that tell us if I don’t do this now I don’t know when it will happen… so it might not ever happen… or worse things are going to happen. It can feel really uncomfortable because I’ve never not forced myself to do these things before.”

“It really does help us to think about the capacity that we have. Because if we are drawing from that capacity, we're not going to have it for other parts of our lives. We want to have the capacity to help other people, we want to have the capacity to be there for our friends and family, we want to have the space in our lives so that when we think of a friend, we can message them, or when we receive a message, we have the capacity to like look at it and respond without it feeling like this emotionally draining burden.”

“We allow things to be and trust and believe that the space will be available. If it's meant to happen, it's the best thing for everyone involved. If it's a true desire in our hearts, then it is possible, it is available to us. So there's no stress, there's no pressure, there's no oh, if we don't do it now, we're never going to do it. It's like no, some magical time will open up, something will align, things will shift and change to allow it to happen. Hold the desire and hold the possibility.”

*****

In this episode I’m talking about blending work and life in a very real way, coming to you from the middle of the school holidays ready to bust down these work-life balance boxes.

“I have both the privilege and the challenge of blending work and parenting through the school holidays. I absolutely would not have it any other way. I want this choice. I love having the choice that I get to work from home and work when I want. What happens though, for a lot of us is that we still have these old structures and these old ideas of when we can work and when we can't. When we should work and when we shouldn't. When working is perceived as taking away from family time, where we shouldn't be sacrificing family time to work.”

“For a long time I felt like it was okay to be present with my family during what is traditionally known as work time… Monday to Friday, 9-5. It was great and to be celebrated and seen as an incredible freedom to be able to spend time with family and not have to work those hours. But to work on a public holiday or a weekend felt like it was still frowned upon. When we start blending work and life we need to take both of them out of their boxes. We can choose to work when we want and we can choose to be present with our family when we want. What an amazing lifestyle to have created.”

“If you consider having no structure at all and you have all of these work things you want to do, life things you want to do, activities with the kids… it feels like there won’t be time for any of it. This is the fear that we need to combat by creating this sense of safety and security with some structure, with just enough structure. To get from… there’ll never be time to do this, I’m not going to get my stuff done, people aren’t going to see what I do, no one is going to hire me, I’m not going to make any money. It’s this whole spiral we fall down. All because we don’t know WHEN we might do our work even if there are all sorts of spaces available for it to be done. We can’t see them past the fear.”

*****

Welcome to Experiencing Ease & Flow…

We interrupt your regularly scheduled and curated podcast content with an episode sharing my experience right now of having veered off the path of ease and flow, and how I’m working to bring myself back to it.

“I have very rarely shared just the raw experience of what I'm going through right now. How I'm navigating that and how it truly feels, but also the perspective I have on it. I know from personal experience that the way that I feel about different things happening in my life now is so different to how it felt two years ago, four years ago, six years ago. I have a completely different perspective and a completely different capacity for change than I used to have, and I honestly wish for everybody to have an expanded capacity.”

“I felt this shift from the Experiencing Success season of the podcast where the “success” part hadn't felt aligned for a while. But I didn't quite know what the next thing was going to be. And one of the huge lessons that I've learned over my journey so far is how to hold the space for the transitions and not rush through the discomfort because there is gold, there are huge aha moments, and shifts & growth that we can experience and can have when we hold the space.”

“I expect that now I've actually given myself the permission to take this season break to reflect on the last six years. I'm going to get damn inspired and want to share something. What I often find is that by deciding to create space we actually bring ourselves back into alignment and so the thing that was feeling so forced comes to us in a new way.”

*****

Welcome to a new season of the podcast! Welcome to Experiencing Ease & Flow…

In this episode we're talking about the path of ease and flow… what it is, what it isn't. How do you find it? How does it feel? How do you follow it? Following the path of ease and flow isn’t only a moment or session of being in the zone where time ceases to mean anything and everything flows effortlessly. It’s also a way of being. It’s a way of operating in the world. It’s how you can choose to do life.

“What does ease feel like? It feels like you're not trying. It feels like your shoulders are relaxed. It feels like you're open and expanded and just available to the world and life. Ease feels like things happen and surprise and delight you and you didn't have to try, you didn't have to work at it, you didn't have to, go out of your way to take the steps and take the actions.”

“We're changing what we do by shifting how we show up. And so the doing becomes a byproduct of how we are being. It's shifting that focus back to how are we being? How are we operating? How are we living our lives? How are we moving through our days? And when we shift how we do that, what we feel called to do, what we feel inspired to take action on, what little bright ideas pop into our heads and the perfect time… it all starts to line up and just make sense and feel easy.”

“When we are focused. When we are in that controlling, contracted feeling, our shoulders are hunched and forward. We're closed in on ourselves.We're trying to direct our focus and energy into a very narrow point, instead of being open to all of the miraculous, random, delightful ways that the things we want can come about.”

Mentioned in this episode

In Episode 15 we’re talking about opening ourselves up to the possibility of creating change in our lives in a state of flow not force.

“I think a lot of this comes down to believing that we need to punish ourselves for being in, for getting ourselves into this situation that we don’t want. As if we don't deserve to get out of it in a way that's fun. We have to put in the work. We need to hustle and put in the grind to then be worthy of the reward, to be worthy of the good experiences out the other side, to be worthy of the change. We are all worthy right now.”

“We want to interrupt our old pattern, our old behavior, the cycle that we want to shift. The first thing, that  first trigger for me, is always noticing that I'm trying to force something. So it all starts with awareness. It always starts with raising our awareness of our own experience, our own feelings, our own thoughts, in response, in relation to situations, events, things that we take action on... things that we are thinking about taking action on.”

“We don't necessarily know how to operate in the world anymore, because this thing has shifted, and our old pattern of thinking, our old way of reacting to a situation no longer feels true. So in any of those situations where change is happening, integration is happening. They go hand in hand, whether it's a conscious change, a circumstantial change, whether your perspective has just shifted, or your mind's just been blown.”

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In this episode I’m speaking about navigating big life events to support your mental health and emotional well-being which is so relevant and so important to our day to day experience and the lives we’re creating because…

…Welcome to 2022. Where we are two years into a global pandemic, a nuclear superpower has invaded another country, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what’s now considered our “normal” life. We’re still parenting small people, people are still having babies, getting married, and getting divorced. People are still getting sick, and dying, and moving on from people and places and situations into new experiences.

“The important thing for each of us to identify is how this is impacting our current state of emotional well-being, mental and physical health, our daily activities. That is a disruption and we're having to change, we're having to flex, we're having to adapt, because of a different circumstance.”

“When you are looking to inform yourself, and stay informed in a way that will become part of your daily life. If every day or every week you are getting lost in the news media, and not just in the facts of what has happened that day, but of editorials and opinion pieces and journalists interviewing people who have some vague connection to fill air time. Really put that through your own filter… how is this adding value?”

“I'm creating space between now and needing to take further action so that I can look after my mental health. So that I can look after my emotional well being. Take time sensitive actions directly related to the circumstances at hand, to create space for you to deal with the rest of it, because you don't want to be taking action on any more than you absolutely have to in this heightened emotional state where your nervous system is really shocked.”

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I'm so excited to have Rose Tautari on the podcast this week talking all about how to use your unique Human Design for making decisions that are right for you.

Rose is a Cosmic Business Witch. She is passionate about empowering you to thrive in your New Paradigm Soulpreneur Calling, Prosperity and Abundance. Her online courses, programs & offerings are curated to empower and activate Intuitive Leaders, Modern Mystics, Healers, Guides, Coaches & Soulpreneurs.

Rose is a Mental Projector, with a 6/2 profile ... a Pisces Sun + Scorpio Rising + Virgo Moon. She weaves her gifts of working with Human Design + Gene Keys + Astrology throughout these offerings to empower you to thrive in your soul calling biz!

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2:18 - Welcome Rose & introducing Human Design for decision making

7:18 -  Riff on lived experience for 6 profile lines that Rose & I both share

12:38 - How human design guided Rose to her aligned way of making decisions as a Mental Projector

21:48 - What do I look at first in my human design chart?

24:30 - Generators & Manifesting Generators sacral “to respond” strategy

30:48 - “non-sacral” beings are Manifestors, Projects, Reflectors

35:18 - How our strategies fit into different places of our decision making process

37:48 - Projectors “receiving invitations” strategy

46:58 - Authority as your golden compass

51:18 - Emotional authorities

01:03:08 - Sacral authorities and the permission slip to change your mind

01:15:18 - Note for 3 profile lines on experimenting

01:17:58 - Splenic authority

01:19:28 - Ego authority

01:20:48 - Self projected authority for Projectors

01:22:18 - Sounding board authority for Projectors

01:23:08 - Reflector authority

01:25:08 - We are meant to make decisions differently

01:26:28 - Thank you Rose! And how to learn more about your human design.

In this episode we’re talking about radical self responsibility… taking radical responsibility for everything in our lives and all of our experiences so that we can change them. We talk about deconditioning, about triggers, and how even this journey of healing can be on the path of ease and flow.

“I have a foundational principle, a foundational philosophy that we can live our lives in the path of flow over force. So anytime we feel like we're forcing something, I give you permission to stop. To look at what's going on and ask… how can you do this in an easier way?”

“Really deciding to claim our power back so we can shift and change. It's not a switch thing. It's a journey. It's a process. You are not inherently broken or wrong, or any of those things because of the experiences you've had. The opportunity available to you right now is to not be in pain anymore. To not think the thoughts that hurt you, to not believe the things that take your power away and cut you down.”

“It's called radical self responsibility. But it also sounds a whole lot like radical personal power. Because by claiming responsibility for our own actions, our own emotions, our own little loop driving the show, we claim back our power, and we have the power to then create the experience we want, instead of this loop from different situations, creating our experience.”

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I am super excited to have the amazing Kate Decker on the podcast this week. Kate has been such an influential mentor for me. I have learned so much from Kate around personal power, around really stepping into and changing my mindset into this new paradigm of abundance.

In this episode we’re talking all about personal power and claiming our desires…

Kate Decker, is an intuitive business & success coach. She leads women in designing their life and business through desire, intuition & full embodiment to create limitless abundance. She is a manifestation queen, quantum leap expert and a food junkie. She runs live & automated programs, masterminds and in person retreats. She loves utilizing simple but efficient practices for business growth AND integrating joy as a foundation for sustainable growth.

“What I want for everyone to know is that if you have a desire, it is available. If you don't know how to connect with desire, start connecting with them… in an ideal world, what would I do? Where would I go? What would I eat? And if you cannot get that answer with a clear message like clear intuition, then ask yourself… would I like this? Yes or No? Would I like this? Yes or no?”

“Because I was committed to ‘until it happens’ and truly like there was something in me that just really shifted. I am going to keep taking these crazy leaps that I trust are helping me. Not just crazy leaps for the sake of crazy leaps, but the ones that I trust are helping me. The ones that I trust are moving me along on this journey… until it happens. I don't care how long it takes. I am in. When I felt that really shift to the until and there was no when is that happening?”

“When I started, I was like I want 10k months. I would not have been able to handle that emotionally or physically. So it's also important for us to look at things like… Okay, so with all of my circumstances and the things that I desire. Is there something that maybe I need to eliminate? Or delegate or change? Do I actually want this with what it comes with? Right? Because it's just, it's different? It's obviously fun. But again, like, in an ideal world, how do we want this to go?”

Mentioned in this episode

In this episode we’re talking about personal power. How to stand in your personal power. How to hold your personal power. How to call it back and claim it back from past situations where you may have stepped away from it. And also what on earth even is “personal power”.

I remember when I was starting on this journey and people were talking about alignment and intuition and inspired action and personal power, these were all concepts where I was just like… I understand these words you’re saying and the concept sounds true but seriously, how do I know what it is in my life and my experience? I had no idea.

“Choosing something quickly, like being rushed into a decision because of circumstances, because of different pressures, it might still be the same decision you would have made on the surface. But as I have said from the beginning… It's not what we do. It's how we do it and how it makes us feel. So even though the decision might be the same in a month's time compared to now. If you make it now, you're not in your power, because you still have things to work through, you still have emotions to process, you still have healing to do, you still have different perspectives to consider.”

“I thought that in order to be going all in on my business I had to outwardly show and declare that I was taking it seriously. And that came in the form of a 12 month mastermind because to invest and commit to something like that you must be really serious about what you’re doing. I could hold up this thing I did and say… look, you can see how committed I am. Not that there was anyone in particular that I was trying to prove that to but that was the conditioning I was following at the time. Despite the fact that even just declaring to ourselves in a moment when we are fully in our power, making that decision to say I am committed and to energetically BE that committed. That is enough.”

Mentioned in this episode

I'm so excited to have Amanda McKay on the podcast this week talking about how we can experience success in motherhood.

Amanda is a mom of 4 small children who seeks to enjoy more moments with her kids while releasing the pressure to enjoy every moment of motherhood. Her self love journey has led her from perinatal anxiety, panic attacks, overwhelm and burnout to peace, compassion and confidence in the demanding role as mom. She loves sharing what she is learning about caring for yourself and standing in your power as a mother with other women!

In this episode we get real about our experiences as mums that can all look so different and yet be an initiation through fire and sleep deprivation that is familiar to each of us. We talk about how we can experience success in motherhood that includes still getting to be US as well as being a mum.

“I feel like a lot of what I do is just help moms reconnect… reconnect to themselves and build up that relationship with themselves and who they are as a mom and get to know her. I feel like we focus so much on what we do for everybody else, and how we serve everybody else, that we don't really get to know who we are as a mom, because we do change. We do change so much once we have our kids and getting to know… what do you need to be a happy mom?”

“Ultimately we want to be enjoying our kids and the fun that they can have. There's a huge opportunity that we have when we have children or even just when we're around small children, even if you're not a parent, that we get to see the world through their eyes. We get to see the world in a fresh way. We get to see how they're exploring things.”

“I think one of the biggest things that holds us back as moms is the guilt. We feel guilty for leaving. We feel guilty for asking somebody to take that role.So I started looking for all of the ways I could be grateful for that opportunity. So see, if I felt guilty for leaving my kids I could start feeling grateful for all of the amazing opportunities it had for them to spend time with their grandparents and get to know their aunts and uncles, or spend quality time with their dad or like, whoever is watching them while I'm away.”

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In this episode we’re talking about emotional intelligence, how our beliefs create our thoughts… create our feelings… create our actions… create our results, and how simply raising our awareness can begin to create the life we desire.

We are talking about emotional intelligence. We're talking about radical self responsibility. Ultimately, we can control and change ourselves. We don't have that control over other people. We can’t make other people do what we want, as much as we’d sometimes like to. And yet, by changing how we anticipate, approach, and show up in a situation can drastically change our experience of it without needing to change anyone else.

“We are not our emotions. Our emotions are energy in motion. Energy in motion that can pass through us, if we allow it. It is not us. It's not our identity. It is not our whole self. The emotions that we feel are part of our experience at that time, but they are not the whole experience. They impact, influence, and colour the experience we have. But the really important thing and the awareness piece that will allow us to start taking control and taking our power back in these situations, is to understand that we are not our emotions, our identity, who we are… the whole person that we are, is separate to our emotions. Our emotions are something that we as a whole, complete, identifying person experience.”

“If we just focus on the nervous system regulation, we can help ourselves de-escalate so we're not acting from this highly charged emotional place. We can do the things that allow us to relax. Take a few breaths, consciously drop our shoulders, do a few stretches, walk around… any of these things that are going to help us to bring the hormones, the stress hormones, the reactions, the adrenaline down a little bit in our body. So we're not feeling the emotion in such a heightened way.”

“A lot of the time we are fairly emotionally intelligent people already. We can look at things like our beliefs and recognise that they’re very old paradigm or not supporting us and we can choose a different reality. However, the beliefs I find that are the most difficult to shift are the ones where we actually have a whole lot of our own lived experience as evidence that that belief is true.”

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I'm so excited to have Lara Gieske on the podcast this week talking about celebration and lifting the pleasure cap.

Lazz is a healer, podcast host, author and self leader. Lazz inspires Walnuts to feel confident & love themselves by being a Walnut (noun) A person who decides to be brave. She is the creator of Walnut Wednesday which started as a podcast but has since evolved into a movement and safe haven for those who feel like a 'peanut' to begin their evolution into the walnut.

In this episode we explore all things celebration!

“You say to someone… “Yay! Celebrating you!” Like, what does it actually mean to celebrate someone? And when I Googled celebrating, it was to have an event in terms of something special, and I was like, what makes something special? And I came to realize that my definition of celebrating is my action of celebrating is to hold a moment.”

“I have done everything with Walnut Wednesday the complete wrong way around. I started the podcast, I did not tell a single soul really. I started my group with nobody in it. I started a Walnut Wednesday business page on Facebook and never invited anyone to it. I am a big believer in baby steps. And while those baby steps were actions in complete and total like pooping my pants fear. I still was just doing them. Because deep down if I took away all the embarrassing anticipation anxiety was following a butt smack.”

“It's okay to want more. I'm grateful for what I have, and I am excited for more. And I think I really embodied that over my birthday, where I actually celebrated pretty much the whole month of December because I wanted to, because I could, and that's not that I was ungrateful for the moments that I was having now, but I was simultaneously excited about the moments that I was going to have for the rest of the month, because I deserved them.”

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In this episode I’m introducing you to the concepts of emotional and mental labour in a way that will have you understanding why it so often feels easier to do everything yourself instead of getting help.

This was a masterclass that I ran in January 2021 and here’s how I introduced it then…

This topic gets me very angry, this topic gets me very passionate, I'm going to give you a whole lot of value, but also really practical advice. So we are talking about shifting the household balance from Ugggh to Ahhhhh.

“I really think we need to lower the expectations we have on ourselves to look after absolutely everyone and be responsible for absolutely everyone, and when to raise the expectation that we have for our husbands, our partners, anyone else that we invite into our homes and into our households, because more than ever, these need to be safe, supportive places for everybody who resides in them.”

“So the first practical thing that you can do, which requires no change of expectation of anyone else, is let's create pockets of time to do the jobs that need to be done. So we don't have to think about them outside of that time.  As women, as mothers, we smooth everything over, we just clear out these things that we need to raise awareness around. The thing that was most impactful for me was to get my husband involved in our life admin every week.”

“You have to allow for natural consequences, you cannot be the safety net. Otherwise, people have no incentive to do better next time. And guess what… we learned because we didn't have a safety net. We made those mistakes. We had the consequences that were uncomfortable and that we had to go through.”

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In this episode I share one of my big aha moments about how we cap our experience of pleasure and when understood with how we form and recall memories it explains our negative memory bias.

“What I want you to get out of this episode is, first of all, understanding how much power we have to create our own reality, to create our own experiences in the moments that haven't happened yet, but also in how we can remember the experiences we've had in a way that will support us to create the life we desire.”

“The story [we tell ourselves about our experiences] has come from a fraction of the detail of what happened, not the whole picture, part of the picture, we have then painted that with the emotions that we were feeling at the time. And we've added meaning to all of those pieces. So if we strip back the meaning, if we look at the emotions objectively, we can actually diffuse and clear a lot of the energy of it.”

“The more emotion that we're feeling at the time we're experiencing something, the more details we are going to remember about it. This is really, really important. Because more often than not, we have a larger range of painful or negative emotions that we allow ourselves to feel and we have a shorter range of pleasurable, positive emotions that we allow ourselves to feel.”

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I'm so excited to be talking about Intuitive decision making in episode 4!

This has been the single most impactful thing on my journey in shifting my perspective and creating a life that I love on bringing into my experience, the things that I desire on even knowing what on earth they are.

“When we can connect to our intuition, when we can understand how to make decisions aligned with our human design, strategy and authority, that completely unlocked everything for me.”

“You can't make a bad decision, what we can do is we can practice making decisions, we can be aware of how it feels when we make a decision, we can start to unpack it. So the next time were presented with a similar decision we can act more from alignment”

“So we've been taught to make decisions that we can justify,  that we can explain, that other people can understand, that other people looking in can say, oh, yeah, in your position, I would make the same decision. Because ultimately, We want to avoid the pain of separation, the pain from criticism, the pain from misunderstanding the pain from disagreement, the pain from disapproval, we don't want to feel separated from people we love, because they disagree with a decision we've made”

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Welcome to Episode 3 - We are talking about the old paradigm vs new paradigm! We are talking about fear and lack vs love and abundance. We're talking about force and control vs flow and trust. We're talking about either/or thinking over both/and thinking.

“There is a shift going on in how we do business. In how we pursue success and how we achieve success. In what we're willing to do, and compromise… or not,  sacrifice… or not, to get there.”

“How does good win over evil? And I realized that it was the same way, it was using the same method, the same channels. It was by spreading love and trust, compassion and abundance, and acting from that place. We've all seen it. We've all seen this in history, in our worlds, and in our own lives.”

“I'm interested in how do I shift through painful experiences? How do I transmute it into something that helps me grow and expand? I want to shift through the experience to find something more enriching on the other side. To be able to have more impact and more joy and more pleasure in the world because I want that for everybody. I want that for myself… AND I want that for everyone.”

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