Connecting with Dr. Kim Swales

Kim talks to Brooks Palmer, author of Clutter Busting and Clutter Busting your Life: Clearing Physical and Emotional Clutter to Reconnect with Yourself and Others.  They talk about the role of stuff in our lives, how to examine if your stuff is serving you anymore.  Brooks has so much insight about the role of physical and emotional clutter in our lives. He talks about our inherent worth as human beings and how our stuff is not who we are.

In this timely episode, Kim welcomes back Dr. Catherine Schmidt and Dr. Betsy Chung to talk about developing a healthy relationship with news, media and social media. They talk about ways to monitor your news intake to protect your mental health, how to navigate relationships on social media, comparison and how to consume wellness information online. This episode is relevant to everyone right now.

In this episode, Kim interviews mom or four, life and style blogger, Jennifer Reid about motherhood. They talk about adjusting emotionally as a mom and a family after kids leave for college. They talk about connecting individually with each child and what they looks like with boys and with girls. Kim and Jen discuss social media and comparison and how that impacts us as moms and as women. Jennifer is such a connected mom and wife and she really values family.  She shares lots of real life wisdom and insight into raising kids in the face of today's challenges in this heart warming episode.

Kim interviews Shari Foos, a marriage and family therapist about The Narrative Method.  The Narrative Method is a way we connect with others through sharing our stories.  Kim and Shari talk about radical gratitude, relational mindfulness, forgiveness and understanding, apologies, and they even share some of their stories as they connect.

You can join the 12 week narrative method program or free zoom ins by visiting the links below.

In this episode, Kim talks to relationship expert, Dr. Carol Bruess about six easy ways to strengthen your connections in relationships.  Carol offers simple tips and examples that you can start practicing right away. 

Kim interviews Dr. Jessica Higgins about criticism and defensiveness in relationships.  We know that criticism and defensiveness are extraordinarily damaging to relationships yet they are so common.  Dr. Higgins talks about why we are critical and defensive and how to try to improve our communication and to be more authentic and vulnerable in our relationships.

Kim has a conversation with procrastination research expert, author and professor, Dr. Tim Pychyl. They talk about the types of procrastination, why we do it and the emotions that contribute to it. They also talk about executive fuctnioning skills, ADHD, and how technology is impacting our tendency to procrastinate. Tim explains years of the best research on procrastination and he offers great insight and tips for overcoming it. This episode will be helpful to anyone who wants to improve their productivity, make better use of their time, or stop procrastinating.

Tim Pychyl's resources:

Kim has a conversation about forgiveness with Ryan Haddon. They talk about how to release pain from past hurts and relationships, how to go about doing forgiveness work, and the benefits of forgiveness.

Kim’s guest this week is Dr. Ilyse DiMarco, author of the new book, Mom Brain. Kim and Dr. DiMarco have a candid conversation about the chaos of the “mom brain” and how to cope with all of the emotional and cognitive demands of motherhood. They talk about comparison, social media and “mom-shaming.” They discuss the expectations of motherhood versus the reality, how to craft your new mom identity and dealing with perfectionism. They give suggestions for finding mom friends, sharing responsibilities with your partner, asking for what you want and dealing with boundaries and in-laws. This is a great listen for new moms and veteran moms alike. Dr. DiMarco offers really great advice and a down-to-earth perspective.

Kim interviews Rhiannon Menn, founder of Lasagna Love about this incredible organization.  Lasagna Love started last year as a way for people to cook for someone in their community that may need a "culinary hug."  This is a heartwarming episode about connecting with others through food and kindness.

Have a listen as Kim interviews renowned author and sleep doctor, Dr. Michael Breus.  They talk about the various chronotypes, sleep patterns and habits, insomnia, sleep and eating, exercise, weight and intermittent fasting. They also discuss watching TV or looking at screens before bed and you might be surprised at what you learn.

Are family dinners a source of joy or chaos for you?  Do you have picky eaters or kids who won't sit still?  Kim interviews Bri De Rosa from the Family Dinner Project to talk about all the things surrounding family meals. They talk about the importance of family meals and how they don't have to be perfect to have a huge impact.  Family dinners are associated with so many positive outcomes for both kids and adults but they can be tricky sometimes.  Kim and Bri offer lots of suggestions, conversation starters and tips to make family meals a lot more enjoyable and meaningful for your family just in time for the holidays.

In this episode, Kim talks to psychotherapist, Dr. Avigail Lev about toxic positivity and acceptance and commitment therapy for couples.  First, they discuss what toxic positivity is, how it impacts us and our anxiety and ways to deal with it.  Then, Dr. Lev offers her incredible insight into couples therapy.  She goes in depth about our schemas or perspectives that we all bring to relationships.  

Links:

Kim has a deep conversation about conditional versus unconditional parenting with esteemed author, Alfie Kohn.  They discuss praise, rewards and punishments, controlling children, time-outs, and pushing children to succeed. Mr. Kohn offers suggestions for moving from rewards and punishments to love and reason.  He also talks about teaching kids to make decisions and how to get parents on the same page about unconditional parenting. 

In this episode, Kim interviews Lynn Morstead and Kelli Soika, founding members of CoHousing Houston. They talk about what cohousing is, the benefits and design, and who this type of community might be great for.  This episode is one that will inform you about something you may not have known much about before and is a likely growing trend in the US and abroad.  Listen in as these women talk about this passionate new project that is all about connection and community.

Kim interviews best selling author, Kari Kampakis about finding joy and connection with your teen. They talk about the things that negatively impact the parent-teen relationship, the long term plan, five second decisions, teen friendships, simple ways to connect with your teen and so much more.  Kari talks about the main principles in her fabulous book, Love Her Well: 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter. Although Kari has 4 teenage girls, the information in this podcast is applicable to all parent teen relationships.

Kim interviews world renowned physician, scientist and author, Dr. William Li. They talk about the five health defense systems in humans and more importantly how and what to eat to maximize those defense systems. They discuss cancer, stem cell damage and prevention and the keys to long term health.  Dr. Li talks about gut bacteria and the microbiome. This episode is extremely helpful for anyone who wants to eat better for long term health. Dr. Li offers a free masterclass to help people learn more.

Kim's guest this week is holistic psychologist, Dr. Nicole Beurkens.  In this episode, Kim and Nicole discuss how various elements of school impact home life and what you can do about it.  They discuss nutrition, homework, after school screen time, recess, school discipline and the dreaded science fair project. They hope to empower you as parents, with options to make this school year happy and successful for your child and your family.

In this episode, Kim interviews author, Jessica Speer about friendships between girls.  In the tween and teen years, girls struggle with confidence and friendhsips more than most other stages of life. Kim and her expert guest, Jessica break down why friendships can be so challenging at this stage of life and how parents can help.  They talk about popular groups, cliques, exclusivity, social media, peer pressure, gossip, friend "drama," conflict and bullying. This is a must listen if you have daughters.

Kim talks to her childhood friend and fellow podcaster, Michael Kennedy about fatherhood. Michael's story is one of persistence, resilience and making fatherhood a priority. They talk about Dad 2.0, the changing roles of fatherhood, finding a community of dads and life with kids. They also talk about Michael's interesting journey from a summer job at Sesame Street Place to being a mascot with a Super Bowl winning team and working on the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards and the Oscars. It's a real conversation with a real dad that is heartwarming and entertaining.

In this episode, Kim and her guest, Liz Svatek, host of the Conversations with Warrior Women podcast, talk about making big changes in your life. They talk about how many women spend so much of their time taking care of others that their needs often fall by the wayside. For Liz, a milestone birthday was the motivation to make some big changes, physically, emotionally and professionally. This conversation is one for anyone who wants to make changes in their life but doesn’t know where to start.  Both Kim and Liz share some things that held them back from taking a leap. They also share what made them finally go for it and they encourage you to go for whatever it is you want next.

In this episode, Kim has an in depth conversation with therapist and Lipscomb University faculty member, Chris Gonzalez about regret. They talk about what regret is and how it impacts us emotionally and relationally. They talk about guilt and shame, humility and vulnerability. Dr. Gonzalez shares a six step process for building a healthy relationship with regret.  It is something that can really hep us all process and work through regret. We all suffer from regret at various times in our life and this episode will help you get "unstuck" if you have been weighed down by regret. 

Dr. Chris Gonzalez is the program Director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Master's program at Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN. He earned a Ph.D. in Family Social Science from the University of Minnesota and a Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University.  His purpose in life is to heal his own wounds and help others do the same.  His treasure is his wife, Gail, daughter Sierra, and son Canaan. 

In this episode, Kim interviews Dr. Michele Borba on her new book, Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Other Shine. Dr. Borba shares the seven characteristics that parents can teach their kids to promote resilience. Kim and Dr. Borba talk about how to raise thrivers instead of strivers. They talk about how parenting out of fear or overprotection paralyzes kids and leaves them unprepared for adulthood. They also discuss learning from mistakes, integrity, empathy and intrinsic motivation. This is an excellent episode for parents, teachers, coaches and anyone who works with kids.

In this episode, Kim talks with Dr. Kerry Luke about the stressors we have all been facing in the last year and in life in general. They talk about what self-care really is and why it is important. Listen in as they talk about social media, comparison, surviving during the pandemic and friendship. They also discuss taking care of everyone else while still trying to take care of ourselves.

Kim and Sissy have an in-depth conversation about anxiety and girls. They talk about how anxiety has become an epidemic and how we can help girls cope with anxiety and stress. They specifically discuss current pressures on both parents and kids that are factors in anxiety today such as school, friendships, social media and COVID. Sissy offers insightful and practical advice to help girls become brave, worry-free, confident and resilient.

In this powerful episode, Kim talks to Jessica Lahey, author of The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. They discuss the research on substance abuse and addiction. And they talk about the importance of arming our kids with information and evidence. Jessica unpacks the risks for addiction, how we can help our kids, and how we need to both model and teach them strategies. This is a MUST listen for all parents.

Have you struggled with fear, uncertainty, a difficult medical diagnosis or cancer? In this episode, Kim interviews psychoanalyst Elizabeth Stuntz to talk about how dialectical behavior therapy can help the heavy emotions that come along with these stressful life events. They focus on coping strategies, managing strong emotions, nurturing relationships, supporting others through cancer or tough times and living with meaning. Liz also offers strategies for how to talk to your kids about a difficult medical diagnosis or cancer.

The interest in narcissism has skyrocketed lately due to social media, politics and increased interest in relationships. Dr. Keith Campbell, expert, and author of four books on narcissism describes the difference between typical narcissistic traits, extreme grandiose narcissism, vulnerable narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They discuss love bombing, gaslighting and manipulation in relationships. They also discuss how to set boundaries and deal with narcissistic people in your life.

In this episode, Kim talks to psychology and bioscience researcher and 4th-year graduate student, Ryan Linn Brown about the physical effects of stress on our bodies. They discuss caregiving, grief and bereavement, and emotion suppression. This episode looks at the research of the impact of our emotions on our health.

Ryan Linn Brown is a 4th year Ph.D. student at Rice University. Her research focuses on investigating the biological mechanisms through which psychological stress (e.g., bereavement, spousal caregiving) dysregulates the immune, autonomic, and endocrine systems…essentially, how stress gets “under the skin.”

In this episode, Kim talks to Erica Layne of The Life on Purpose Movement. If you feel overwhelmed, this episode is for you. Erica talks about finding your purpose regardless of your role in life right now. Kim and Erica talk about overconsumption, shopping to fill a void, comparison, and reducing your mental load. They offer suggestions for aligning your life with your values and what is truly important to you. They also talk about clearing out your emotional, mental, digital and physical clutter. This is a great episode if you want to simplify your life and find more meaning. 

In this episode, Kim talks with Dr. Catherine Schmidt, a licensed clinical psychologist who helps women improve their relationships, alleviate anxiety and cultivate a balanced, fulfilling life. They have an honest conversation about anxiety and everyday worry with ways to combat it. They give wisdom on how you can shift your focus. And Dr. Schmidt shares advice on how to have hard political conversations with friends and spouses. This episode has pieces of practical wisdom for everyone. 

Kim invites marriage counselor, Lori Epting, back to talk about how to maintain your relationship by adding fun, positivity and spontaneity on a more regular basis. They go back and forth sharing some of their practical suggestions for small and simple things you can do to connect with your partner in more positive ways. If you’ve been in a relationship rut or are feeling disconnected or like roommates, this episode will have so many good suggestions for you just in time for Valentine’s Day. They also share some fun date ideas.

In this episode, Kim talks to Jenn Curtis and Cindy Muchnik, authors of "The Parent Compass: Navigating Your Teen’s Wellness and Academic Journey in Today’s Competitive World." They discuss how we show our kids we believe in them, setting goals, and looking at how our own past impacts our parenting. They share their own parenting stories and lots of tips for how to use our compass to guide our kids.

In this episode, Kim talks to her colleague and anxiety expert, Dr. Ivy Ruths about anxiety in children. They go into detail about the difference between stress and diagnosable anxiety. They talk about how to teach young children to talk about their feelings and how to model handling our own anxiety in front of our kids. Dr. Ruths shares her wisdom on OCD and fears and phobias in children. She offers so many practical tips that all parents could benefit from.

As Kim and her guest, Danielle Leach, continue the conversation about the college admission process they discuss college visits and how to get a feel for a college in covid times.  In this episode, they also talk about standardized tests (ACT and SAT) and how their importance might be changing.  Finally, they talk about the pressures high schoolers face and how parents can support their kids as they navigate this process.

In this episode, Kim has a conversation with Danielle Leach, Assistant Director of college counseling at an independent school, about starting the college application process. This is part one of a series and in this episode, they discuss how to brainstorm a list of potential colleges with your child and what factors to consider when making a list of colleges to apply to. They also talk about what to expect from a school college counselor, what goes into school rankings and why they might not matter as much as people think and how and when to hire a private college counselor. Finally, they discuss how to talk about the finances involved in this process and how to discuss if a school is a financial fit with your family and potential merit aid. This is a great episode for anyone with a high-school-aged child as Kim and Danielle talk about the very beginning of the process. Stay tuned for more on this topic next week.

Kim talks all things dating with Eunice Hong, a NYC certified dating coach. They discuss how to know when you’re ready to date again after a breakup or divorce, dating during covid, how and when to bring up tough subjects when dating. Eunice gives excellent advice on self-growth and reflection so that you can find a good partner, relationship autopsies and utilizing dating apps. Kim and Eunice also discuss what makes a healthy, long term relationship. If you are out there in the dating world or wanting to jump in, give this episode a listen and share with all your dating friends.

In this episode, Kim and her guest, Rebecca A. Weiner, M.Ed. discuss the role of play in children's lives. They talk about floor time, meaningful feedback and meeting your children where they are. There are valuable tips for all parents who want a deeper and more meaningful connection with their children.

In this episode, Kim and her guest, Liz Svatek, host of the Conversations with Warrior Women podcast, talk about making big changes in your life. They talk about how many women spend so much of their time taking care of others that their needs often fall by the wayside. For Liz, a milestone birthday was the motivation to make some big changes, physically, emotionally and professionally. This conversation is one for anyone who wants to make changes in their life but doesn’t know where to start.  Both Kim and Liz share some things that held them back from taking a leap. They also share what made them finally go for it and they encourage you to go for whatever it is you want next.

Kim welcomes her guest, Andrea Odom, to talk about the challenges of co-parenting during and after divorce. Andrea is a mom of 3 children and she works really hard to co-parent them as peacefully as possible with her ex-husband for the benefit of their children. They discuss how to tell children about a divorce, sharing custody and navigating holidays and covid. They address the biggest challenges and the rewards of trying to co-parent peacefully after divorce. This episode is so helpful for any families or extended families going through or who have gone through a divorce.

Kim welcomes pediatrician and mom, Dr. Deanna Barry to talk about life after baby. They discuss adding children to the family and how it affects relationships and friendships and going back to work. Furthermore, they talk about how social media and comparison can sometimes make women feel pressure to do it all and do it all well. When, in reality, that is not possible. Finally, they discuss baby blues, postpartum depression and anxiety, and adjusting expectations after giving birth. This episode is like talking to a friend about all the demands and expectations of motherhood and how to navigate them in today’s world.

Kim connects with her colleague and good friend from graduate school, Dr. Carol Bruess, to talk about rituals in relationships. Dr. Bruess is a professor, author and researcher on relationships and she is passionate about rituals and traditions. They discuss the research on rituals, traditions and nicknames in families, couples and friendships. They also share advice and tips for making and sustaining your own relationship rituals and traditions.

Kim talks to Dr. Phil Boucher, father of five young children and pediatrician, about connecting with toddlers, handling meltdowns and tantrums and teaching them to express their emotions in healthy ways. They also talk about the role of dads and how to get dads more involved in the day to day stuff of parenting. Dr. Boucher offers concise and practical advice that will help all parents, but especially parents of young children.

In this episode, Kim has a conversation with Dr. Anna Shannahan, an Integrative MD at the Osher Center at Northwestern in Chicago. They talk about finding the root cause of illness, practicing medicine in COVID times and how to ask your doctor about alternative therapies. They dive into what integrative medicine is and how to find a practitioner as well as supplements, herbal remedies, and self-care. If you are feeling overwhelmed and confused by your healthcare options, this is a great episode for you. Dr. Shannahan offers great practical tips for a healthy lifestyle.

Kim has an in-depth conversation with fellow marriage counselor and author, Lori Epting. They talk about the biggest struggles facing couples today, simple ways to strengthen your marriage and when to seek help from a professional. They also talk about extra-martial affairs, how they happen and ways to rebuild. Finally, they talk about empathy, how overwhelmed couples with young children feel and ways to connect more deeply. There are practical tips and wisdom for every couple in this episode.

Kim sits down with Sports Psychology and Mental Performance Coach, Ashley Eckermann to talk about how to best support your kids in sports. They discuss motivation, life lessons, fear, playing multiple sports versus specializing, what age to begin playing sports and when to know if it’s time to quit or move on to something different. They even talk about how to handle a difficult game or practice. Ashely offers lots of practical tips on all of these topics and more.

Expert Guest: Ashley Eckermann, Sports Psychology Coach at Maximize the Mind, Mental Performance Coaching.