Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

Today I am joined by Clinical Psychotherapist, Laurel Sole. After going through her own traumatic divorce, Laurel decided to help provide others with the tools and support needed to work through and heal from the trauma. Laurel talks about her divorce and the trauma she experienced before getting married. It is possible to heal and to move forward with your life. Tune in today to hear great tips on working through trauma in the moment.  In this episode: [3:19] Laurel shares her experience with divorce trauma. [4:50] Laurel talks about her divorce and what led her to Clinical Psychotherapy.  [8:40] We hear about Laurel's life trauma. [10:30] How is Laurel’s therapy practice different from traditional therapy? [13:48] How do people work with Laurel? [16:17] Laurel provides tips on working through trauma at the moment. Key Takeaways:  Remember in the difficult moment that this is just a point in time, and it will pass. You don’t know what will come after this point in time, but it is temporary. Look for the gift or opportunity in the situation. Grief through a divorce is OK; whether you want the divorce or not, you will experience grief. It wasn't just the marriage but the idea in your mind, the items being divided up, and even the co-parenting relationship that your mind has to cope with. If you are going to therapy and it isn’t working for you, or you aren’t getting your needs met, find a different therapist. Laurel highlights working with her clients when they are in a difficult moment or facing trauma, which allows people to learn the tools to get through whatever circumstance they are facing at that time.  Quotes:  “There’s so much more than just the ending of a marriage that happens in a divorce. There's a plethora of relationships, experiences, and mutual things you’ve acquired along the way as well, and all of that has a compounded traumatic affect.” - Laurel Sole “For us to work through trauma, we have to look through neurobiology, and we have to look at attachment, and we need to be looking at how we sort of run energy and regulate energy through our nervous system. We really need to be learning these skills.” - Laurel Sole Guest Bio:  I began my graduate work in 2002. I imagined a path of International Social Work. I’ve traveled the world and lived everywhere, and my dreams of working globally were big. However, an unintended pregnancy, single parenting, child custody battles, a second marriage, more children, and some family trauma resulting in the tragic death of my brother informed a very different life path for me. This new path involved a deep and still evolving process of working diligently to understand myself and the choices I’ve made in this lifetime. I needed to understand my patterns and belief systems that kept me cycling in and out of trauma. I was tired of relationship struggles and stagnation that felt never-ending.  I had to come to understand how I could make peace with the sudden unexpected changes life delivers and live a life of deep peace, deep knowing, and secure trust in myself, despite tragedy and encountering the unexpected. I came to this place via my own personal growth journey, and that ultimately is what guided me to what I offer my clients now, Therapeutic Life Coaching. Resources:  Laurel Sole’s Website Laurel Sole’s Instagram Healing Circle Facebook Group Lesa Koski Website   Lesa’s Online Courses The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Linda’s advice is to understand all the stories our mind tells us about finances and money. We have something like 85k thoughts a day, and the majority of them are negative. Live in the present moment and be aware of the thoughts going through our brain, whether they are true, and how we can change them. Take little steps to make it happen. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.  Resources Linda Lingo’s Website Lesa Koski Website   Lesa’s Online Courses  The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Today I am joined by financial coach, Linda Lingo. Linda empowers women to help them repair their relationships with finances and make money their best friend. Did you know by the time we are seven years old, our financial story is already created in our minds? Throughout this episode, Linda gives many mindset shifts that can help us to change our story to allow a better relationship with finances. She talks about how we take our financial story into our relationships and marriage, which can be a cause for arguments and especially create issues during a divorce. Tune in today to learn your financial story; it’s never too late to make money your best friend and rewrite your financial story.  In this episode: [1:50] What inspired Linda to be a financial coach? [4:07] The first step in making money your best friend is to understand your beliefs about money. [7:30] How did Linda teach her children about money? [9:42] What was Linda’s takeaway from her childhood and learning about money? [11:30] How do our financial stories and beliefs impact your marriage? [12:57] What can someone do to uncover their financial story? [15:10] It's never too late to make money your best friend. [16:14] Linda gives us a couple of steps that people can take to feel more abundant with their money. [18:58] How is money like energy? Key Takeaways: Words are power, and they create energy. Make sure you are putting out believable statements. Small steps taken consistently achieve big results. Quotes: “Being in control of your finances gives you freedom, gives you security, gives you a feeling of abundance and gratitude.” - Linda Lingo “Whatever our money stories or beliefs are, we bring those into our marriage.” - Linda Lingo “When women can understand that they don't have to be afraid of money, that money can be their friend, they start setting up their finances in such a way that it supports them. And so, for many women, it's getting out of that scarcity mindset - I’m afraid, I don't know if I’m going to be ok, I don't know what my future looks like - you need to take the time to give yourself grace, number one, and number two that it's never too late to learn about how to make money your best friend.” - Linda Lingo Guest Bio: I started this business to provide tools and resources that help women gain clarity and confidence in their finances so they can move forward with their lives. I want to empower women with smart money strategies so they can create a stress-free approach to money. With over 30 years of experience in the financial industry, I have accumulated the knowledge and skill to understand your financial needs. More importantly, I have experienced most of these life events, thus giving me a first-hand understanding of what you are going through. With my compassion and guidance, I will provide the right tools needed to make wealth a part of your everyday vocabulary. Resources: Linda Lingo’s Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Kim Best wants us to remember that this situation is for now. Where you are is just for now, and it will get better. She also wants you to remember that as you go through the divorce process, it's easy to place blame on your soon-to-be ex-spouse; instead of assigning a label to them that they are a liar, change your mindset and wording to ‘my ex has lied, it doesn't mean that is who they are all the time’. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday. Resources Best Conflict Solutions Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Today I am joined by Kim Best, a nurse turned divorce mediator in Tennessee. Kim walks us through how she got into mediation and what opportunities she sees through mediation. She focuses on the opportunity and the positive ways to handle conflict and divorce vs. feeling regret years later. Kim talks with us about how our difficult circumstances impact our legacy and some of the great examples she has gotten to be a part of with mediation. This episode is full of juicy nuggets and great takeaways, so make sure to tune in! In this episode: [3:07] How did Kim get to where she is today? [10:04] What are the benefits of mediation? [13:56] What does Kim see as uses for mediation? [15:52] How do these moments create our legacy? [17:58] Kim gives some examples of good divorces she has witnessed. Key Takeaways: Mediation can be the difference between hope and regret. You can choose to look back and be proud of how you handled the divorce, or you can look back and regret how things happened. Mediation isn’t just for divorce. Mediation can be used for family issues, such as for elderly parents or other things going on where you need a mediator in the room. You can't control the outcome of what the other person does, but you can control who you're going to be during the process, and nobody can take that choice away from you. Quotes: “We are all never so narcissistic as when we’re in pain. Because when we’re in pain, it's all about us, and it's all about protecting us, even when we don't know we need protected. Biologically our brains and bodies don't know the difference between an insult and someone holding a gun to our head; both of those actions feel like life-threatening.” - Kim Best “Good people have terrible moments because we’re people. We’re more than our worst moment.” - Kim Best Guest Bio: Kimberly Best  RN, MA is a TN Rule 31 listed Civil mediator and a TN Rule 31 trained Family Mediator, owner of Best Conflict Solutions (http://www.bestconflictsolutions.com ) focusing on Collaborative Problem Solving in Healthcare, Small Business Mediation and Conflict Management, Organizational Conflict, Elder Mediation, Family and Relationship Mediation, Dialogue Facilitation, and Conflict Coaching. She spent the first season of her career as a Registered Nurse in intensive care, trauma, and emergency medicine, where she cared for people in extreme need and gained valuable experience in the medical system. Kim attended graduate school at the University of North Carolina Charlotte in Clinical/Community Psychology.  She obtained a master’s degree in Conflict Management from Lipscomb University in Nashville, Tennessee. Kim also trained in Transformative Mediation at Hofstra University, Healthcare Mediation at the University of South Florida, and Restorative Practices at the International Institute of Restorative Practices. She is an active member of Mediators Beyond Borders International and a working member of the ACR Elder Mediation Professional Development Group.  She also serves on the board of the Tennessee Association of Professional Mediators. Resources: Best Conflict Solutions Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. When you go through something that feels hard, you can end the suffering a little quicker and look at it as a gift or an opportunity. When you go through something hard, ask yourself as soon as you can, “How can this be a gift in the future to me or someone close to me?” Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses Mindset Episode Feelings Wheel The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Today I am sharing some tools that can help you to view suffering differently. Shifting your focus during a difficult circumstance to look for the gifts or opportunities being shown to you instead of getting stuck in the situation can make a world of difference. I walk through three scenarios of realizing the amazing gifts I’ve received through challenging times. Tune in today to learn how to switch up your mindset. In this episode: [2:09] How do you approach your mindset and feelings? [3:56] What is a tactile way you can do a PQ Rep? [5:50] Why is meeting your prodigy brain essential to reduce suffering? [6:52] Lesa discusses the gift of pregnancy complications. [10:41] Lesa talks about the gift of adopting her daughter Sophia. Key Takeaways: Everything that happens is happening to you to teach you a lesson or give you a gift. Taking a step back from the complicated situation to look for gifts or opportunities can help you end suffering sooner. PQ Rep is a great tool to help calm the prodigy brain so you can find the lessons within challenging circumstances. Quotes: “If your feeling like you can’t circle out of it, sit with it for a second. Name it, feel it. Think, where do I feel this in my body, is it in my chest or stomach, what temperature is it, is it hot or is it cold? What color is it? All those things help you to become aware of that feeling.” - Lesa Koski “Ask yourself, how could this be a gift? You can ask what can I learn from this so that moving forward, what I’ve gone through teaches me something.”- Lesa Koski Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses Mindset Episode Feelings Wheel The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. The first step in changing your life is to decide that you want to get better. All wellness begins from the inside out, so if you are ready to change your worldview and your life, reach out to Keith or Sheila Hittner for an initial conversation, so they can steer you toward the best service. Also, make sure that you have good support while going through difficult times; if your support is toxic, it won’t help you move the peg forward. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday. Resources Keith and Sheila Hittner Links Keith and Sheila Hittner Website Phone: (651) 775-9194 Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Today I am joined by Keith and Sheila Hittner from Our Healthy Homes. Keith talks with us about his experience with divorce and raising his five children with Sheila. He talks about the struggles that he went through and how he supported his children through difficult circumstances. Sheila discusses how she bonded with Keith’s children and what got her started on her Healthy Homes program. Together they talk about how their experiences have played into their realty work, supporting different situations for clients, and the importance of bonding when a new adult comes into a family post-divorce. Tune in today to learn the four pillars of a healthy home and tips for introducing a new relationship post-divorce. In this episode: [1:15] Introduction to Keith and Sheila Hittner and their background. [5:32] Keith and Sheila share their lessons with bonding. [9:13] Keith talks about his experience with divorce, which included his five children. [13:05] As Keith looks back, does he think amicable mediation would have been an option for his divorce? [15:38] What was it like to send Keith’s children to their moms where the environment wasn’t good? [17:39] How old were Keith’s children when he and his ex-spouse went through their divorce? [18:30] What was it like for Sheila to bond with Keith’s children? [22:38] How does their experience with divorce play into their current reality work? [24:04] What are the four pillars of a healthy house? [25:17] What are the health items that Sheila is promoting? [28:37] What tools does Sheila use for her Healthy Homes program? Key Takeaways: When kids are involved, you are together whether you are married or not because there will always be circumstances where you need to participate together, such as birthday parties, holidays, weddings, etc. Some children will experience a sense of betrayal and guilt towards their biological parents when they bond with a step-parent. A healthy home means having the right real estate, ecosystem, and physical and mental health. If those four pillars aren’t all spoken to and worked on, then the roof is going to fall. Guest Bio: We believe that owning a home allows you and your family to put down roots and become established in the community. We believe that owning a home makes your family feel safe and more connected. We believe that families that own homes are more successful because they feel the pride of ownership and are modeling the American dream. We believe this dream is for everyone, no matter what the background, family structure, or anything else. These beliefs are central to everything that we do. Whether it is helping you buy or sell a home or helping you discover lifestyle choices that will make your home healthier. We believe that your home is central to your family life, and we want to be a resource to you, now and in the future. Quotes: “I just want everyone to know that there is an option that you don't have to fight it out in court.” - Lesa Koski “When you don’t have your health, what do you have?” - Sheila Hittner Resources: Keith and Sheila Hittner Links Keith and Sheila Hittner Website Phone: (651) 775-9194 Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week’s guest Rosie Wilby suggests that when you are going through the thick of a breakup or a difficult circumstance, move your body. Physical activity, exercising, and self-care connect you with your body and the world. What a great way to feel at peace! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday. Resources Rosie Wilby's Website Rosie Wilby's Twitter Rosie Wilby on TikTok The Breakup Monologues Instagram Rosie Wilby's LinkedIn The Breakup Monologues Book Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Today I am joined by award-winning U.K. comedian, author, and podcaster Rosie Wilby. Rosie delivers an empowering view of the unexpected joy of heartbreak. She offers the perspective of opportunities one can gain post-breakup and how society can begin to normalize that breakups can be positive and amicable. Rosie shares with us the idea behind her book, The Breakup Monologues, where she shares about several of the relationships she’s had that have come to an end. Tune in today to uncover the positives that can be gained through heartbreak. In this episode: Rosie provides some background on her book, The Breakup Monologues. What made Rosie want to share her past relationships in a book? What are Rosie's major lessons from her breakups? How can you see a breakup as a gift when you're in the thick of it? How many breakups does Rosie talk about in her book? We can start normalizing the idea that divorce can be positive and amicable. How to work through a situation if you feel trapped when desiring a divorce. Key Takeaways: Being single can allow us to step back and look at the trajectory of our life and how we want to live as individuals without the pull of what your partner might want. Relationships and marriage get really busy, and being able to step back after a breakup provides excellent opportunities. Breakups provide self-knowledge about what you want in a future relationship, what's important to you, identifying your needs, and what you want to do differently in your next relationship. When you are in the thick of a breakup, reach out and get support. Hire a therapist or talk to a friend who can be supportive. It should be someone who will empower you and lift you up vs. pull you down and speak negatively. Quotes: “I do feel that breakups, although they are incredibly painful and really difficult and really challenging times, they do provide an opportunity for reflection and growth, and they can be a catalyst for real positive change.” - Rosie Wilby “Sometimes growing apart is really healthy growth. Sometimes we just grow individually and in good ways, but we happen to have gone in slightly different directions, and that's not a failing on our parts. We have this really toxic language, these binaries of success and failure, and somehow if we don't stay together, we’ve failed, whereas surely, if we've separated in a really healthy way, that might be really positive and really mature.” - Rosie Wilby Guest Bio: Rosie Wilby is an award-winning U.K. comedian, author, and podcaster who has appeared many times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman's Hour, Saturday Live, and Four Thought. Her first book, Is Monogamy Dead?, was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize and followed a trilogy of solo shows investigating the psychology of love and relationships. Her new book, The Breakup Monologues, is based on her acclaimed podcast of the same name and is published globally by Bloomsbury. Resources Rosie Wilby Website Rosie Wilby's Twitter Rosie Wilby on TikTok The Breakup Monologues Instagram Rosie Wilby's LinkedIn The Breakup Monologues Book Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During this week's episode, Brian Burns talks about loneliness and the importance of connection. As humans, we are hardwired to seek connection, so it can be difficult when it isn’t easy to come by. When experiencing loneliness, Brain suggests reaching out to someone. Don’t be alone; use modern technology and just connect with someone. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Brian Burns Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Valentine’s Day can be tricky when you are single, especially after a divorce or breakup. Today, I have family therapist Brian Burns on the show to give some great tips about battling loneliness and knowing when you are ready to move on to a new relationship. We touch on the difference between grieving the loss of a loved one and experiencing heartbreak because of the end of a relationship. Lastly, Brian discusses the healing that needs to occur before you are ready to enter a new relationship and how to get practice in the dating world post-heartbreak. Tune in today for some great tips, or share with a friend experiencing heartbreak and struggling this Valentine’s Day. In this episode: [1:17] How to fix a broken heart and deal with the feelings you may experience on Valentine’s Day. [3:48] Brian talks about loneliness and how you can take control of negative emotions. [9:40] Brian’s advice on what to do when going through heartbreak. [14:23] What is the difference between grieving the loss of life and a breakup? [17:47] How to work through the battle that is going on in your mind. [18:39] How do we know when it’s time to return to the dating world post-heartbreak? [22:58] How to look at dating as a practice to find your next relationship. How dating apps are a great way to practice. Key Takeaways: If you are experiencing loneliness, do one thing each day to connect with others. This could be a phone call, a text, or talking to the person in the checkout line at the grocery store. You never know who else is lonely, so brighten your day and someone else's through connection. Knowing and understanding what happened in your past relationship and what you would do differently in a new relationship is essential to moving on and finding a new love. Our brain is always searching for dopamine, so when you are experiencing loneliness, it will search for a time when you were happy. This may bring up times with your ex-spouse and create a feeling that you were the one who “ruined it.” Take the time to uncover the reality of the situation. If you were the right people for each other, then you wouldn't be experiencing divorce. Quotes: “You're confident in yourself; you know how you want to be as a human in a dating relationship. You have confidence in yourself that you can say yes when you're ready to say yes and no when it's not right to say yes.” - Brain Burns Guest Bio: I’m Brian Burns, and I have been practicing as a licensed family therapist since January 1999. I specialize in helping adults in the midst of relationship crises restore trust, intimacy, and communication. Whenever possible, I prefer to help couples save and strengthen their marriages or committed relationships. However, not all relationships can (or should) stay together. In these cases, I help the couple end the relationship in a way that is healthy for everyone, especially when there are children involved. I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best. Resources: Brian Burns Website Email: Brian@mnrelationshiprepair.com Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today I want you to remember that life is 50/50. It isn’t always going to be rainbows, sunshine, and sparkles; difficult circumstances will arise. However, reducing how much you suffer during those circumstances is possible. When you decide how to respond to a negative thought, you can end unnecessary suffering and have a better life. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Each month I am joined by life coach and founder of Self-Made U, Tracy Pleschourt. This month we talk about worthiness and walk through a recent circumstance that made me second guess my own worthiness. Tracy talks about the best ways to shift your thinking and turn a negative situation into a positive one. Life will always come at us with difficulties. However, if you have the right tools in your toolbox, you’ll be able to handle them more quickly and find the gift within the situation. Tune in today to learn how to live life with intention! In this episode: [2:40] Did I jump in the pool with my grandson? What does Lesa’s growth journey look like? [7:15] Lesa gets coached on her issue around worthiness with a specific situation. [15:57] You can choose how you want to go through a circumstance. [17:04] What happens if you feel that life should be happy in every instance? [19:21] How do our thoughts impact our actions? Key Takeaways: Getting uncomfortable while pushing yourself means that you are growing. It is not a sign that you have done something wrong. Healing work is hard, but once you are on the other side, your life is 100% better for it. Manage your mind, so you don’t follow an unfolding of compounded negative results. Instead, intercept it and find the gift and opportunity you can learn. Life is 50/50. There will always be good and bad; that is just part of life. How you react and respond impacts your life positively. Learn from the circumstance, and the next time a difficult situation arises, you’ll be able to face it better. Quotes: “We can learn through certain circumstances, but that's really where it gets kind of fun. Because can we apply what we learned through other circumstances to expand our growth?” - Tracy Pleschourt “You are supposed to suffer; you are supposed to experience negative feelings; that is part of life. That's what makes the good even possible; this is life, and you have to expect them both.” - Tracy Pleschourt “You get to decide what kind of life you want to live. Do you want to live a life that is full of intention, or do you want to live on default? When you want to live in intention you are going to do things like this so that you can see things so that you can change things. That is not a promise or a guarantee that life is going to be 100% good feeling; what I can guarantee you is that you will be able to feel equipped, ready to manage the negative feelings.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today’s guest Janet left us with two pieces of advice. First, remember that you can only show up the best you can each day, so if you are struggling, give yourself a break, take a breath, and remember that tomorrow is another day. Secondly, understand that co-parenting is a learned skill that needs a lot of practice. A good co-parenting relationship won’t happen overnight, so keep focusing on the children and practicing! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Janet Price’s Website Janet Price’s Instagram Janet Price’s LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Today I am joined by divorce specialist Janet Price. After being a child of divorce and then going through a divorce of her own, Janet has some excellent tips on navigating a co-parenting relationship. During today’s episode, she talks about her experience through her divorce, her difficulties, and the healing that took place, which left her with a huge a-ha moment. Janet provides some excellent advice about what she would have done differently if she faced a divorce with children again. Tune in today to learn how co-parenting is a learned skill and how to support your children so they can become successful adults. In this episode: [1:38] What led Janet to do this work? [6:12] What does Janet wish she would have known during her divorce? [11:35] How to create a co-parenting relationship when the marriage felt like you were a single parent. [13:40] What do you do if you have entirely different values/styles of parenting? [18:15] Janet’s tips on what she would do differently. Key Takeaways: Even if parents can’t have a civil co-parenting relationship, focusing on the children and their needs should be the highest priority. Your children will be ok as long as they have at least one strong, emotionally healthy, solid value parent to help guide them in their life. Quotes: “I had all the power in the world to not have that conflict, and in fact, it was what I was doing because of my history that was as I was trying to reduce it was the exact thing that was triggering my co-parent. And so that's when I decided I have this awakening, and I would like to help other parents see it so that the children do not have to experience the trauma of divorce.” - Janet Price  “Co-parenting as the literal word can be a very broad spectrum, and that’s ok because sometimes the parents will be better off if you don’t try forcing it.” - Janet Price “It’s ok to share your values with your children and help raise them in your values in your household, and you don't have to say anything about the other parent.” - Janet Price Guest Bio: Janet Price is a certified divorce specialist, certified co-parenting specialist, and conscious co-parenting coach who empowers loving parents to rise out of the middle and move from surviving to thriving.  Janet is passionate about supporting parents' transition from intimate partners to their business partner relationship for the kids. Janet knows the dynamics of divorcing and co-parenting as a child product of high-conflict divorce and a mother involved in high-conflict parenting.  Janet's coaching programs and one on one practice provide parents with tools, skills, strategies, and support to co-parent effectively and transition to their business partner relationship. Resources: Janet Price’s Website Janet Price’s Instagram Janet Price’s LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Lisa Zeiderman’s number one tip is to become financially savvy. It is crucial that you understand your finances and that someone else isn’t doing it for you. If you need assistance walking through your finances, Savvy Ladies is an excellent free resource that pairs women with financial advisors! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Savvy Ladies Free Financial Support Lisa Zeiderman’s Website Lisa Zeiderman’s LinkedIn Lisa Zeiderman’s Facebook Lisa Zeiderman’s Instagram Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses

Today I had the honor of talking with a high-conflict divorce attorney from NY, Lisa Zeiderman. During this episode, we discuss how Minnesota and New York divorce processes are similar and different. She discussed her divorce journey and how she and her ex-spouse could co-parent. She shares a story of a high-conflict divorce that she worked through and the lessons learned from that divorce. Tune in today to learn some great tips on going through a divorce as a parent and tips on becoming financially savvy. In this episode: [3:15] What is Lisa’s background, and how did she become a divorce attorney? [5:41] What was Lisa’s divorce like? [11:23] Does NY require mediation for a divorce? [13:20] When should an attorney be looped in for a MN divorce? [14:30] Lisa shares a story about a high-conflict divorce. [16:39] What is the best way to disclose all the assets? Key Takeaways: Children will remember the experience they had with each parent over the number of hours they spent with each parent. It’s really about the quality of time that was spent with the kids over the quantity of hours spent. When going through a divorce with children, it's key to remember that their needs change as they grow up. What is necessary for a 2-year-old will differ from a 15-year-old. Co-parent and work with your ex-spouse throughout the years to do what is best for the child. Be honest and straightforward with the information you are disclosing. If you are hiding something, it will get found out, and when it does, it reduces trust. Quotes: “Overall, I think what we did do well was we did not demean the other parent to our child. And I think that was something that was very important, and my child, who is now a grown woman, actually has a great relationship with both of us.” - Lisa Zeiderman “Mediation is great when it's simplistic, and everybody is in the know, and everybody comes with an equal playing field essentially, and both parties can advocate for themselves. And I think mediation is great when the attorneys are down to an issue to two, but if you are looking at an entire financial partnership between two people, you really need to make sure you have all of the facts.”  - Lisa Zeiderman Guest Bio: Lisa Zeiderman is a highly accomplished attorney in all areas of matrimonial and family law. Named both Crain’s New York Notable Diverse Lawyer and a Business Notable Woman Lawyer for 2022, Ms. Zeiderman is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, a founding member of the American Academy of Certified Financial Litigators, and a member of the panel for Attorneys for Children. Resources: Lisa Zeiderman’s Website Lisa Zeiderman’s LinkedIn Lisa Zeiderman’s Facebook Lisa Zeiderman’s Instagram Savvy Ladies Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Sarah Armstrong advises focusing on your North Star through the divorce. Have a picture of what you want the divorce to turn out like and have that in your mind each time you are dealing with pieces of the divorce. Step back and keep your child(ren) in focus as well. Remember that people can live a new phase of life just under a new structure. Learning to co-parent and create a good divorce will be best for you, your ex-spouse, and your child(ren). Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce Book The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses

Today I am joined by Sarah Armstrong, the author of The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce. Sarah wrote this book to empower other moms to focus on partnering with their ex-spouse to keep the peace for their child(ren). She gives some incredible tips on preparing your child(ren) for divorce, handling the “firsts” post-divorce, and continuing a solid co-parenting relationship. Sarah shares the impact of divorce on children and how to do the best job of protecting them from the parents' decision. Tune in today to learn how to help your children cope with the process and how to create a good divorce. In this episode: How to handle the “firsts” post-divorce? to a Good Divorce? Was Sarah’s divorce easy, and what was her experience with her ex-spouse? How do you prepare children for divorce? How to handle the “firsts” post-divorce? How do you continue a solid co-parenting relationship?  Key Takeaways: Children don’t choose to get divorced but are most significantly impacted by that decision. Think about what’s best for your children when going through the divorce - that will lead you to a “good divorce.” Utilizing the compartmental muscle is a critical skill post-divorce. Choosing to save a frustration or negative emotion to be kept and released when children are not around. Focusing on reducing the impact on the children will do wonders for them as they grow up. They will watch how the parents handle divorce and feel the effects of changing houses, being apart from their parents for holidays, etc. It is a big deal to them, so creating a consistent routine and being supportive is vital when going through the divorce and beyond. Quotes: “Divorce is an action. You get divorced. What you put your children through during that process can have such an impact emotionally, on their view on marriage and relationships and just their overall happiness.” - Sarah Armstrong “Your children are watching you every moment along the way. What you're showing them is that you will focus on re-living or re-litigating why you got divorced and who did something to the other person. Or will you look ahead and say we are creating a new positive, happy life here and moving forward? And I think the compartmentalization muscle is a key component to think about when trying to move on and look ahead.” - Sarah Armstrong Resources:  The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce Book The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Forgiveness does not excuse what somebody did, however, it is a way for you to feel freedom after difficult situations. As you work through forgiveness, you will gain an understanding of what happened, and you set yourself up to move forward. It doesn't mean you won’t feel bad again; it means that when old stories pop up, you gain the ability to know you are safe. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Lesa Koski Resources Forgiveness Worksheet

On today’s episode of our monthly session with Tracy Pleschourt, we discuss the importance of forgiveness. Tracy walks us through the Four N’s of forgiveness and how to work through each step. Holding on to resentment can cause a lot of turmoil in life, affecting your friendships and relationships. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that the person is correct; it just means that you are letting go of the emotions impacting your life and setting yourself free. Tune in today to learn how to find thankfulness and positive intentions out of the things in life that feel heavy. In this episode: [2:40] Lesa’s story of what she needs to forgive from her teenage years. [5:53] Lesa and Tracy walk through the 4 N’s to work through forgiveness. [16:00] How to write a letter of forgiveness. [17:05] Why are the 4 N’s necessary? [19:05] Next month's topic: Worthiness Key Takeaways: Your brain is either your worst enemy or your best friend. It will either work for us or against us. Quiet down the negative thoughts and turn up the strength within us. Forgiveness is a gift that you are giving yourself. There is much that can be learned from these situations and why forgiveness is needed. Find the things you can be thankful for, and make the forgiveness about the lessons learned. When people avoid forgiveness, they will hold on to the situations causing a grudge or grief, which will continue to impact their life. Quotes: “It doesn't excuse what somebody did, you understand what happened, and you are moving forward. It doesn't mean that you don’t feel bad again or you don't have thoughts pop up that hurt you. Still, when old stories pop up, you let yourself know you are safe.” - Tracy Pleschourt  “Part of neutralizing it was to have empathy for her and to think maybe what she went through, I can’t know exactly.” - Lesa Koski Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Lesa Koski Resources Forgiveness Worksheet

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three of our guest experts on how you can do divorce differently. The first piece of advice is to focus on forgiveness. Holding on to resentment can negatively affect you and keep you from moving on in your life. Next, working on your love life is necessary for the post-divorce experience. Uncovering your trauma and healing the wounds you experienced in your last relationship will have your next love relationship unfold differently. Lastly, get support and have people by your side who you can confide in, which helps you realize you are not alone in what you are going through. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Marrie Simpson Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach Dr. Thomas Jordan Love Life Learning Center Learn to Love Book Tracy Malone: Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Targeted Healing Journals Narcissist Abuse Support Website

Today I am so excited to share my interview with Keith and Sheila Hittner from the Our Healthy Homes radio show. In this dynamic episode we talk about why I became a mediator and how I work with and support my clients. We also discuss one of the biggest stressors in relationships, why mediation is so important, and who is a good fit for mediation. Tune in to learn more about the mediation process from beginning to end and so much more! In this episode: [01:00] Why Lesa became a mediator. [05:00] Why finances are stressors in relationships. Can a couple fighting over finances come to an agreement and stay together? [09:20] Building a mindful budget. [10:45] How does Lesa help her clients do divorce differently? [16:00] What does the mediation process look like? [21:30] How does Lesa work with different personality types? [23:00] Lesa shares how being a mediator has helped her grow as a person. [25:00] Lesa shares her online Minnesota Divorce Course. [30:00] Why working together with a mediator through divorce can work. [36:00] Why being honest through the divorce process is so important to create a successful divorce plan. Key Takeaways: Finances are one of the main stressors in relationships. Divorce is hard. There are a lot of emotions and frustrations involved. A mediator can help a divorcing couple work through that process and set themselves up for success. You can make your divorce how you want it. It will be within the parameters of the law, but it’s your divorce. As long as you understand what you are doing, shouldn’t you be the one deciding that? Quotes: “Money is stressful. There may not be enough of it or you may feel like one person isn’t pulling their weight or someone loses a job, that can add stress and lead someone down the road towards divorce.” - Lesa Koski “Sometimes the people you love the most are the ones you’re not the best to.” - Lesa Koski “If you want to find what the problem is, most of the time the problem is looking back at you in the mirror. So if you deal with your own issues, you’re better able to get along with other people.” - Keith Hittner Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses Our Healthy Homes Website Our Healthy Homes Facebook Our Healthy Homes Twitter Our Healthy Homes Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During this week's episode, Brian Burns shares the five stages of grief and how they are similar when going through a divorce, as you are experiencing the death of the marriage. He talks about how important it is to utilize talk therapy. Finding someone you can confide in and feel seen and known is vital in working through grief. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Brian Burns Website Psychology Today for Therapy Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Today, we are joined by marriage and family therapist Brian Burns to discuss grief. Brian starts the conversation by defining grief and the five different stages that someone goes through when experiencing grief. He explains what complicated grief is and how grief ties into getting divorced as it is the death of your marriage. Brian provides excellent tips on noticing the signs of getting stuck in grief and how to cope with complicated feelings. This episode is full of great information and steps on moving forward in your life after the event that causes grief in your life. In this episode: [2:27] Brian defines grief and what it can look like. [8:15] Brain talks about his experience dealing with internal struggles after dropping children off at college.[10:35] What is complicated vs. uncomplicated grief? [14:49] Where do people get stuck with grief, and how do they cope with the feelings? [18:20] What does it mean to take care of your life? [22:30] What is the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score? [23:43] What should you look for when finding a therapist? Key Takeaways: The five stages of grief are denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance; however, they don't happen linearly. Each person handles the stages of grief in a different order and, at times, goes back to the stages multiple times. Complicated grief is what a person experiences when handling something that shouldn't have happened, such as the death of a child or divorce. It is something you cannot understand that wasn’t supposed to happen. This is different than uncomplicated grief, which is something that was expected to happen, such as someone dying from old age. To move through grief, you must take charge of your life. Understand who you are, what's important to you, who you want to be ten years from now, and who you are as a parent. When you have answers to these questions, you have resilience which helps you handle the situations that come your way. Quotes: “When you lose a marriage that was important to you, that never is ok, that's never the way it's supposed to be. But it is what happened. So acceptance means the ability to tolerate or manage or shoulder the new reality and still have a meaningful, happy purpose-driven life.” - Brian Burns “Divorce is complicated grief because even if you are in the position of choosing it because your seeing the marriage is no longer healthy for you or anyone, there's still the what ifs, there's still that sense of what does this mean about me, could I have prevented this, what could my partner have done, did I choose wrong?” - Brian Burns “When life kicks you in the ass, that's a chance to take the exit that you choose, to take control in a way that leads you to a life of more meaning, more knowledge, more experience, that is just as happy and fulfilling as the one you lost, or that was taken from you.” - Brian Burns Resources: Brian Burns Website Psychology Today for Therapy Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During part two of our episode on narcissism, Tracy shares three pieces of advice. First, protect yourself emotionally through this long process. Next, don’t give up hope; this will end one day - focus on the fact that you are free from the abuse and able to move on with your life. Lastly, ensure you have as much detail as possible in the divorce decree limiting any areas of gray space. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Targeted Healing Journals Narcissist Abuse Support Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Today we have part two of our Divorcing Your Narcissist episode with Tracy Malone. During this portion of the episode, one of Lesa’s clients comes on to ask questions regarding what she is experiencing in her divorce. Tracy helps the client navigate how to handle triggers and keep herself from shutting down. How to decide what is worth fighting for and knowing the rights around large items like pension and retirement. Lastly, Tracy gives wonderful advice about “Narc-Proofing,” the divorce decree to eliminate gray areas. Tune in to this episode for some incredible coaching tips to set yourself up for success when divorcing a narcissist. In this episode: [1:35] Lesa’s client joins the episode to ask her questions. [2:54] The best ways to deal with outlandish accusations and triggers [7:57] How do you make the decision-making process move from mediation to court? [10:34] Decision-making tips around what to fight for and what to let go. [16:40] How do you “Narc-proof” your divorce decree? Key Takeaways: Narcissists know your triggers, so they will always go after your greatest strengths. Their goal is to shut you down, so the goal is knowing that this is a game and you have to keep yourself from shutting down. Prepare yourself so that you can protect yourself. Research your rights when going through a divorce on the big things (pension, retirement, the house, etc.) If you are fighting over more minor things like items in the home, determine if the item is worth the amount of money it will cost to fight for it. Make sure everything is mapped out to the extreme detail. There should be no gray areas in the divorce decree. Write out the specifics so if they go through any gray areas, they are in contempt of court. Include dates and times for everything. Quotes: “We can't control what they’re going to say or do. And so for us, we have to manage how we respond to them.” - Tracy Malone “They're just intimidating you; their entitlement to everything is not true. This is gaslighting 101; this is how they keep a victim trapped by not letting them know their options. Most people will fall and just be like, oh, ok, I don't get anything; I’ll take this much because they’re used to being manipulated.” - Tracy Malone “Knowing that the narc-proofing is really making sure that everything has a date and a time and if he’s supposed to pay you payments.” - Tracy Malone Guest Bio: Tracy Malone is a survivor of narcissistic abuse. As soon as she learned what the heck all the crazy people in her life were doing, she started teaching, sharing, and bringing others to understand. Tracy has been abused her whole life but only learned 18 months ago her mother, her sisters, her ex-husband, his crazy family, and ultimately a boyfriend of 2.5 years that caused this transition in her life with his horrific discard. Tracy has spoken to and helped hundreds of survivors, and she can help you with private coaching and virtual online group narcissist abuse support meetups. She lives in Colorado and owns a marketing company that helps businesses understand how to market. Everything from their website to SEO and social media. Resources: Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Targeted Healing Journals Narcissist Abuse Support Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During part one of our episode about narcissism, Tracy said that the most common indicator that someone is narcissistic is that they have no compassion for you. Narcissism is on a broad spectrum, so if you feel like a narcissist has impacted your life, I encourage you to focus on your healing vs. giving them a label. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

In today’s episode, we are joined by Author and Private Coach, Tracy Malone.  Tracy has dealt with narcissism her whole life with her family and relationships. Today she talks to us about the signs of narcissism. Tracy covers what it can be like when someone becomes aware that they are in a relationship with a narcissist. Many people may be unaware that their loved one is a narcissist and don’t learn until they are faced with a divorce. Tune in today to know what to look out for and how to navigate healing from a narcissistic relationship. Don’t forget to tune in next week for part 2 of this episode! In this episode: [1:35] Tracy shares her difficult divorce from her narcissistic ex husband. [5:35] Is it common for people to be unaware of narcissism? [7:04] Does Tracy work with people still healing from a history of narcissism? [8:49] What are the signs of narcissism? [14:37] How can marriages last 30-40 years if one spouse is a narcissist? [16:08] Tracy talks about what self-absorption means. [17:05] Can a narcissist do mediation, or is it a fight in court? Key Takeaways: Gaslighting creates an environment where you begin to question reality. You start to lose your identity and forget your worth. Narcissists can have fun but can also be cruel to their children behind closed doors or show false love, which keeps family and friends close. It is common for them to be passive-aggressive and to give the silent treatment. This can make divorcing a narcissist very challenging. The biggest sign that someone is a narcissist is that they have no compassion for others, even the person they’ve been with for many years. They can be married to someone for 30+ years and suddenly not care about the other person's well-being. Quotes: “I think most people don't know it until they are faced with divorce. Someone says, `You know I think they are narcissists’, and they start to do the deep dive that I did.” - Tracy Malone “The public persona of what our family was, was so not the reality, but that was what they were selling.” - Tracy Malone “Narcissists use false love to manipulate people; they are selfish. They have no ability to feel shame, empathy, or guilt. Therefore they can do whatever they want; it doesn't matter if you've been married to them for 30 years, you are pond scum to them when they can only see black and white.” - Tracy Malone “During divorce, something happens. We call it a narcissistic injury. Whether they decided or you decided, basically, you go from all good to all evil.”  - Tracy Malone Guest Bio: Tracy Malone is a survivor of narcissistic abuse. As soon as she learned what the heck all the crazy people in her life were doing, she started teaching, sharing, and bringing others to understand. Tracy has been abused her whole life but only learned 18 months ago her mother, her sisters, her ex-husband, his crazy family, and ultimately a boyfriend of 2.5 years that caused this transition in her life with his horrific discard. Tracy has spoken to and helped hundreds of survivors, and she can help you with private coaching and virtual online group narcissist abuse support meetups. She lives in Colorado and owns a marketing company that helps businesses understand how to market. Everything from their website to SEO and social media. Resources: Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today we talked about truly loving yourself and creating a thought you believe in. Lesa’s thought is, “I am a woman learning how not to care what people think when I jump into a pool in a bathing suit with my grandson.” Next, set up boundaries for yourself! Hop on my website to grab your boundary worksheet and learn what your boundaries are, the consequences, and how to set them up. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

It’s time for our monthly check-in with Tracy Pleschourt! During this episode, we follow up on Lesa’s self-doubt from last month and work on improving her self-doubt. Then we dive into Tracy’s boundary-setting advice. Tracy talks about the importance of understanding why you need boundaries, how they benefit individuals, and how to focus on boundaries being self-care. Head to the website today to grab a copy of the boundary-setting sheet! In this episode: [3:10] How to work through your thoughts on self-doubt. [10:11] How do you set up boundaries? [12:26] How is a boundary different than a request? [15:20] Sitting and thinking about things in your life that make you frustrated. [19:05] How to create a deal breaker if you don’t move forward with the boundary you are setting. [19:30] Creating consequences when boundaries aren’t managed. Key Takeaways: Becoming self-made means that you are constantly working on yourself. There is no finish life. You are going to continue to grow and evolve throughout life. Boundaries are not set to control other people; they are set to get the results you want for your life. Quotes: “Just notice the difference in how you feel when you're operating from a belief that sounds very judgmental like I can't, or I’m not worthy of attending something, I’m not worthy of getting into the pool without a care in the world. There's a whole lot of judgment wrapped up in that. That doesn't feel very good, and if it doesn't feel very good, you’re not going to show up as your best self.” - Tracy Pleschourt “Boundaries ultimately are created for you. It is kind of an operating system for the results that you want to create for you. It isn't a manipulation tactic; it isn't an ultimatum; it isn't in an effort to control someone else. Boundaries are created so that you get results that you want from your life.” - Tracy Pleschourt “Self-care comes in all shapes and sizes. This is a self-care to add to the toolbox, try it out; it may or may not work, but this is another great tool to take care of yourself.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes. Guest Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week Lesa talks about the importance of co-parenting well together, putting the focus on working together for your kids. The goal of parenting is to create resilient, strong humans. If you are feeling triggered by your ex, put a picture of your children on the phone, so when they are with your ex, and they call, you’ll think of your children rather than any negative emotions. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

For today’s episode, we’re sharing an episode from the Peace and Parenting Podcast where Lesa was a guest. During this interview, Lesa gives some great tips on how to work together in a co-parenting relationship. Lesa and Michelle discuss how to create a healthy relationship and why it is vital for children to see their parents working together. Lesa dives into creating a parenting plan and what to keep in mind while working through some tough decisions. Lastly, Michelle talks about hope after divorce and how there is life afterward! Tune in today for some of Lesa’s best tips! In this episode: [3:01] What does it mean to become a co-parenting specialist? [6:10] Tips when working together as co-parents. [9:00] How to work through situations when healthy co-parenting isn’t an option. [10:46] As time goes on, how does the relationship shift post-divorce? [12:01] Why taking care of yourself is essential during a divorce. [15:45] How to create an excellent parenting plan. [20:22] There is hope after divorce. Key Takeaways: If given the right environment, kids can recover from the trauma of their parents getting divorced. Self-care is vital so that you are as well as you can be and as healthy as you can be, to take care of your children in the best way possible. When the primary caretaker is depleted, everything falls apart. Be a united front for the children. Have the children be front and center when thinking about your parenting plan. Keep a photo of the children in front of you while you work through the plan to remember why you are creating a co-parenting relationship. Quotes: “The one child who really seemed to thrive was the one where the parents kept it focused on him and his brother. The parents did birthday parties together, they celebrated holidays together, and I want to say it's not all doom and gloom. I know not everybody has the opportunity to co-parent well with someone. There are situations where that isn't possible, but the people coming to me want to work together, that doesn't mean they like each other, or it's not hard.” - Lesa Koski “If you can be in the same room as that person, do your very best because those kids need that, and you're going to be connected for the rest of your lives; there's going to be weddings and grandchildren, there's always events.” - Lesa Koski “There is life after divorce!” - Michelle Kenney Resources: Split Documentary Peace and Parenting Podcast Lesa Koski Website

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today Dr. Thomas Jordan gives us his advice on how to work on your love life. Look inside of yourself, determine what things you replicate in your relationships, and get conscious of changing them to healthier attributes that you will look for in your next partner. The time between divorce and your next relationship is so important to work on yourself. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses Love Life Learning Center Learn to Love Book

In today’s episode, we are joined by Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst Dr. Thomas Jordan. Dr. Thomas Jordan has spent over thirty years studying love relationships. He talks with us about what it looks like to replicate the relationships each individual sees growing up and how those relationships carry over into adulthood. We talk about the process of getting conscious of the unhealthy factors in relationships that individuals face and how to turn those into healthy aspects for future relationships. Tune in today to hear how to become conscious about your programming and create a healthy love life. In this episode: [1:10] Dr. Thomas Jordan tells us what led him to study love relationships. [2:56] What is unconscious learning? [6:43] What is a disappointing love life? [12:13] Dr. Thomas Jordan talks about the replication process - emotion and physical attributes. [16:02] Getting unfamiliar is uncomfortable and can be anxiety-producing. [18:19] How do people recreate the experiences that have been unhealthy in their life? [20:53] How is re-creation done? [25:22] How can becoming conscious about your programming help in marriage also? Key Takeaways: Once you become conscious of the things you learned as a child, you can unlearn the items that no longer feel healthy and change your ways. What we have learned becomes a belief, which is what we look for in relationships. This all happens subconsciously. Until you become aware, this is the path that you will follow. Going through a divorce opens up the opportunity to get curious about your past relationships, uncover what you’ve been repeating, and re-create what you want your love life to look like. Quotes: “We can do something about the type of relationship we set up when we fall in love. The relationship we set up, healthy or unhealthy, is what contains that love and grows it. If you set up a healthy relationship, fine; there's a good chance the love will last a lifetime. If you set up an unhealthy relationship, then there can be problems because the relationship in and of itself can stifle the love that you're experiencing, and I believe that's what happens with a divorce.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan “We have the wonderful ability to challenge things we’ve learned, challenge habits, challenge things we’re used to, challenge what we’re familiar with.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan “You’re the person that creates your own love life experience.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses Love Life Learning Center Learn to Love Book

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Brian Burns’ number one tip is to remember you are in charge of your life and how your future goes. Take charge of your attitude and make the holidays positive. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Brian Burns’s Website Lesa Koski Website Brian Burns Website

Marriage and family therapist, Brian Burns is back! In today’s episode, we talk about handling the stress of the holidays on top of a divorce. The holidays are quickly approaching and for many, this will be the first year celebrating the holidays after a divorce. It is possible to enjoy celebrating the holidays after a divorce. Tune in as Brian shares his top tips to make the holidays less stressful through divorce like: how to honor existing traditions, creating new traditions, spending quality time together as a family, and choosing whether to co-parent or split-parent this holiday season. In this episode: [2:00] The reality of divorce during the holidays. [4:00] Why it’s important to not make your issues your kid’s issues. [5:15] The value in celebrating the holidays together as a family. [7:00] Being grateful through all of the change. [9:00] Taking care of yourself so that you can focus on your children. [10:30] To co-parent or to split-parent during the holidays? [15:30] Creating new traditions for your children as a single parent. Key Takeaways: It’s important that you not make your issues your kid’s issues, especially around the holidays. Kids do so much better when they are free to be happy and excited and the family is together. Children always have the fantasy of their parents getting back together. Celebrating the holidays together can reinforce the idea that “we are still a family and we can still like each other.” Divorce is hard. It’s so important to take care of yourself so that you can care for your children from a healthy mindset. Seek support from a therapist or family coach to best move forward through divorce. Quotes: “If you are going through the trauma of a divorce, on top of holidays, that’s hard. I’m just acknowledging that. So give yourself some grace, forgive yourself for how hard that is.” Brian Burns “Keep in the front of your mind that your kids are watching you, and they are learning how to be human. They are learning how to be in relationships, how to be in a family. We want them to learn how to navigate family, whatever family is because you can’t always choose and predict.” Brian Burns Guest Bio: I’m Brian Burns and I have been practicing as a licensed family therapist since January 1999. I specialize in helping adults in the midst of relationship crisis restore trust, intimacy, and communication. Whenever possible, I prefer to help couples save and strengthen their marriages or committed relationships. However, not all relationships can (or should) stay together. In these cases, I help the couple end the relationship in a way that is healthy for everyone, especially when there are children involved. I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves, and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best. Resources: Brian Burns Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Marrie’s advice is to balance stress, eliminate processed foods by eating whole foods, and get 4-5 servings of vegetables with each meal! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

In today’s episode, we are joined by a certified physician assistant and founder of Elevate Health and Wellness, Marrie Simpson. Marrie helps us understand the signs that come with pre-menopause and menopause. She dives into the best tests and ways to help your body through this season in life. Tune in as Marrie shares her best tips on estrogen, balancing hormones, and how to reduce stress during a difficult time like divorce. In this episode: [2:32] Marrie discusses what made her jump into functional medicine. [4:30] What is Elevate Health and Wellness? [6:37] Understanding pre-menopause and menopause. How do women balance hormones? [9:28] Are there foods that can help balance hormones? [11:22] How does alcohol impact hormones? [14:56] What are the best hormone tests to use? [18:54] What creams are safe to use for hormones? [21:05] Is estrogen by prescription only? Key Takeaways: Lifestyle changes can help balance hormones such as nutrition, getting enough sleep, lowering cortisol, and exercising. People don’t make as much melatonin when stressed, which can impact sleep. Don’t start using hormones without seeing someone experienced; visit a functional health doctor to determine what's best for you.  Quotes: “Stress is a huge contributor to imbalance of our sex hormones, and obviously, when you're going through divorce or going through marital issues, most people are pretty stressed. And so that is going to contribute to some of the symptoms you could get. Oftentimes hormones become imbalanced, and we tend to see more estrogen dominance, meaning higher amounts of estrogen and smaller amounts of progesterone. And we really want to balance those hormones.” - Marrie Simpson “Birth control pills are the number one cause of stroke in women in their 30s and 40s.” -Marrie Simpson “I think the number one thing to do is to do foundational nutrition and lifestyle pieces. So making sure you're eating really healthy, getting whole foods in, focusing on vegetables, healthy proteins, and again movement, sleep, managing stress, all of that is very important. Because we can take 40 different supplements, but if you're not eating healthy, you're not getting movement, you're not getting good sleep; you want to get those foundations down and then get some building blocks on top of that.” - Marrie Simpson Guest Bio: I am a wife, mom, and grandma.  In my free time, I enjoy spending time outdoors, swimming, biking, and hiking, and I have a love for learning. My faith and love for Jesus are the foundation of who I am, and I desire His love and wisdom to shine through in every facet of my life. For nearly thirty years, I’ve worked exclusively in the medical field as a Physician’s Assistant. During my time as a PA, it became clear that Western Medicine was not adequately treating the deeper, underlying issues that my patients were experiencing. This left them with unsolved chronic health issues, often pain, inflammation, fatigue, difficulties losing weight, and digestive and metabolic disorders.  I knew there had to be another solution. Roughly 18 years ago, I became certified in functional medicine through the Metabolic Medical Institute/A4M and took several courses from IFM and other functional and environmental platforms. Through this, I gained insight into identifying and treating the root cause of illness. Resources: Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach EWG.org - Clean Products Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their lives. Today’s episode is a compilation of this month's guests, Duana Welch and Dan Simon. Duana’s advice is to reach an agreement between you and your ex as best you can. Be kind and respectful, remembering there was a time you chose this person. If that is not possible, hire someone who can help guide a collaborative divorce. Dan’s advice is to get clear on what matters to you, don’t be influenced by friends, your lawyer, or your ex. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Guest Resources Duana Welch Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do Dan Simon Self-Determination in Mediation Book Simon Mediation

During our monthly session with Tracy, Lesa gets coached on a difficult topic. We discuss focusing on ourselves and our image, taking away the opportunity to impact others' lives. Tracy coaches how people can become aware of their thoughts and work to change them. Tune in today to learn how to avoid spending your life chasing circumstances. In this episode: [4:20] Tracy coaches Lesa on focusing on how to leave people feeling a certain way. [8:26] What does it mean to have a self-made mind? [13:28] How do we neutralize and normalize our thoughts? [18:14] How can people push themselves through their difficult thoughts? [22:35] Do you want to spend your life chasing a circumstance? Key Takeaways: If you are so focused on yourself and your looks/image, you lose the opportunity to leave your true mark on others. Creating awareness is the first step to making changes. Without awareness, you can’t change; you must first become a master of your mind. Check-in daily and decide how you’ll optimize your day. You can’t control circumstances for the most part, but you can manage your thoughts. Quotes: “I want to be a person who focuses on how I touch people, how I make them feel warm and loved, and I don’t want to focus on my shortcomings.” - Lesa Koski “You have to take care of yourself and be your best self to be a good parent.” - Lesa Koski “When you can share the vulnerable imperfect side of yourself with your loved ones, holy cow, that changes everything. You're modeling so many things on so many levels when you can do that. And they learn so much from just witnessing that.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon shares how to handle conflict. Whenever you are experiencing conflict with someone, you are a person in conflict at that moment because you are judging the other person a certain way. Whenever you are in that situation, step away and do an empowering activity (deep breathing, a walk outside, yoga, etc.) to get to a better place. Then come back to the situation and reevaluate how you feel. You’ll likely be set up to have a better conversation and sort through the difficult subject. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Self-Determination in Mediation Book Simon Mediation Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses

In today’s episode, Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon talks about what it means to be a transformative mediator. He discusses what that means when working with clients and how it leaves them feeling empowered in their decisions. Dan dives into how he handles escalated conversations and creates space and light for clients to work through difficult decisions. Lastly, Dan tells us about his book Self Determination in Mediation and how it can help those outside the mediation field. Tune in today for some amazing mediation tips. In this episode: [1:29] Dan shares his history as a mediator. [6:39] What is transformative mediation? [9:46] Is the best part of transformative mediation when clients come up with an agreement? [12:07] Should a mediator share ideas they’ve seen with other clients or just let the clients figure out what they should do on their own? [14:53] How Dan handles an escalated conversation. [18:09] How Dan splits his time between mediation and teaching. [18:40] Dan tells us about his book, Self Determination in Mediation.  Key Takeaways: Mirrors and lights are used in transformative mediation. People can look in the mirror at themselves and see what they are projecting, creating space and light for individuals to breathe. A mediator should not be telling a couple what to do. Mediators are there to throw ideas around and help facilitate a dynamic conversation, not to ultimately tell clients what to do. We need to realize that we have power, aren't victims of each other, and don’t have to victimize each other. It's so important to learn to listen to other people’s points of view. Quotes: “Anybody who has studied communication or psychology or human relationships of any kind gets it that if we want to get to a better place, that's going to involve talking to each other.” - Dan Simon “It’s actually the clients that are going to come up with the best agreements.” - Dan Simon “Always be watching the clients to see if there is anything triggering them that maybe wouldn't trigger me because it's about them.” - Lesa Koski “In this day in age where there's so much conflict, and there is so much belief in the fact that you're right and another person is wrong. I think we can all learn how to be mediators.” - Lesa Koski Guest Bio: Dan teaches transformative mediation in MN and CA and published the book Self Determination in Mediation with Tara West. Resources: Self-Determination in Mediation Book Simon Mediation Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. To re-cap, in both parts 1 and 2 of our conversation with Dr. Duana Welch, remember that you are meant to be loved! Have the courage to put in the work and find that love. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses

Today on Doing Divorce Different, we hear Part 2 of our conversation with Love Doctor, Duana Welch. Duana discusses how to put together an ad for a dating site and spread the word that you are looking for love. She also digs in on the details of your must-have list and how to not settle for someone who doesn’t meet your entire list. In this episode, she gives so many great tips on creating an enticing ad that reflects who you are and what you are genuinely looking for. Tune in as Duana gives us her best dating advice. In this episode: [00:50] The next step for finding love! [3:12] Showing your dating ad to your community of friends and family creates more eyes on finding someone for you. [5:47] What advice does Duana have for photos? [12:25] Prepare yourself before you post your ad. [15:46] How are you determining your “must-haves”? Key Takeaways: Take pictures that show you on a great day, but not on a glamor shot or with filters. Don’t mislead people. The photos you use shouldn’t be older than 6 months. Put the word FUN in your profile at least twice! If a quality in the person is a deal breaker, do not try to get over it. There’s a reason you’ve been through a divorce, don’t set yourself up for that again.  Quotes: “Everyone thinks it's a numbers game; they get told it's a numbers game, it is not. It's a knowledge game. What do you know? If you know the right stuff and you can apply it, then it becomes about interacting with very few carefully chosen people.” - Duana Welch “Know your must-haves backward and forward and how you're going to assess them. That list is indispensable. If you try this without a list, you're going to get predictably terrible results most of the time. Do this with a list! And then you can say to yourself, is he kind? That's a must-have and should be on everybody's list. Is he kind? How do I assess that? I would ask him if your ex was here, what would she say was the reason for your divorce? And then I'm going to listen really carefully not only to what he says because that can give me some good insight into who he is and whether it’ll work for me. Most people will give very different answers from what someone else says vs. what they’d say.” - Duana Welch Guest Bio: Dr. Duana Welch (pronounced DWAY-nah) is known for dating advice, dating coaching, online dating coaching, relationship advice, relationship coaching, and marriage coaching that relies on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the love of their lives. A former professor in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, she has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets and podcasts. Her first book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, is now out globally in five languages; its revised and updated edition released in 2022. Love Factually for Single Parents is the second book in the series, specifically geared for finding the right partner not only for readers, but their families. All Duana’s books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner. She is an expert for Paired, the couples relationship app. Her client practice is global, via Zoom and other technologies. Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch. Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Guest Resources: Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Love Doctor Duana Welch’s piece of advice is, “If you can find and be someone kind and respectful, your love life will probably go well. And if you can’t, it won’t.” This has been a saying for over 60 years and still holds true today. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses

In today’s episode, we are talking to Love Doctor Duana Welch. Duana is an author and love coach who helps women find love the love of their life. Using her experience of finding love after divorce, she tells us how to get out there and find love again. Duana talks about the ten steps she has created to find a beautiful and solid relationship, also available in her book. It can feel intimidating to start dating and putting yourself out there again, but tune in to this episode for some great tips! In this episode: [1:19] What led Duana Welch to her Love Doctor role? [2:34] Duana gives us advice on how to start dating post-divorce. [7:48[ Duana talks about taking action to get out there, and their mindset will change as a result. [9:30] Duana takes us through the steps of her program to begin finding your match. [21:28] What should your ad look like on a dating app? Key Takeaways: Have the courage to look for someone. Put yourself into the dating market. Most people don't even look. Love is for those who have the courage to date. Create a list of everything you want in a partner, but be realistic. Do you have the same qualities that you are looking for in a partner? Sign up for one month only on dating apps. This tells the algorithm to keep pushing you to try and get you to sign up for another month. If you sign up for multiple, they won’t keep pushing your profile after the first month. Quotes: “Who we love and how successful that relationship is, has more impact on our health, our wealth, our longevity, our career success, our life satisfaction, and even our sex life than any other choice we will make.” - Duana Welch “The first action I want people to take is to write down everything they want in a partner. Everything.” - Duana Welch Guest Bio: Dr. Duana Welch (pronounced DWAY-nah) is known for dating advice, dating coaching, online dating coaching, relationship advice, relationship coaching, and marriage coaching that relies on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the love of their lives. A former professor in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, she has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets and podcasts. Her first book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, is now out globally in five languages; its revised and updated edition released in 2022. Love Factually for Single Parents is the second book in the series, specifically geared for finding the right partner not only for readers, but their families. All Duana’s books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner. She is an expert for Paired, the couples relationship app. Her client practice is global, via Zoom and other technologies. Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch. Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Guest Resources: Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. The first piece of advice is to have hope through the process. Shift from being the victim to being a survivor and allow this difficult time to be a part of your healing process. Next is to keep the conflict away from the children and create a world that is conflict free for them. And lastly, create win-win outcomes. Remove the animosity and focus on financial impacts, work together and know what the other person’s goals are. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Michelle Kenney: Peace and Parenting Facebook Peace and Parenting Instagram PeaceandparentingLA.com Email @ Michelle@peaceandparentingla.com Peace and Parenting Podcast Victoria Kirilloff: Wealth Analytics Website Divorce Analytics Website Financial Consultation Victoria Kirilloff Instagram Jenni Rochelle: Beauty after Betrayal Podcast BetrayalTraumaQuiz.com Jenni Rochelle’s Website Jenni Rochelle’s Instagram

Today is our monthly session with Tracy Pleschourt, life coach and Founder of Self-Made U. During this episode, we talk about mindset shifts when looking at data in our lives. I get raw with my fears and struggles around putting together a budget, and Tracy coaches me through looking at budgeting (or any data) in a new way. She emphasizes removing the fear around the data and shares one simple step to pivot the feelings we experience when diving into an area of our lives that we have decided has to be complicated. Tune in to today’s episode to learn the practical steps of changing your mindset and allowing a shift in thoughts. In this episode: [4:48] Why do we fear looking at data? What stories have we created? [12:15] How to release the “hard” feeling. How could you look at the situation in a positive way? [13:35] Why do we need to look at data to make decisions? [16:30] It’s not all about making it hard. Change your mindset to make it simple. [18:25] What steps can be taken to move forward? Key Takeaways: The first step when going through a divorce is to do your budget. This helps in planning, in feeling comfortable and confident, and makes you aware of what the future holds. Once you have all the data and assets, you’ll know where you stand. Thought downloads. Change your thoughts away from fear. If you live in fear, you’ll never take action and sit stagnantly. Face the fear, and you’ll see it isn’t bad. Start small; change your awareness on one number, not the whole budget. Change one variable ever so slightly, and you will see results. This is the same in any area of your life. Quotes: “I don't care if it's the bank account or it’s what the scale says. People don't want to look at it because they are afraid of feeling afraid. And so they speculate, oh my gosh, I don't want to go there because I know it's going to take me down. The first step is normalizing it.” - Tracy Pleschourt “You have experiences in your past that you made meaning of, and you carried it forward, and that's created this neuropathway. Your brain operates from these very efficient thoughts, aka neuropathways; you think them all the time!” - Tracy Pleschourt “The problem is the fact that she is operating from a belief that creating or managing a budget is hard. Because that thought has her feeling afraid, which has her doing nothing, NOTHING to get a different result.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn