Life is a Sacred Story

In this week’s episode, I explore the question of sacrifice, respect, and how we can approach a crumbling world that feels too overwhelming to have an impact.

Here I discuss the special pressure on women to look a certain way, how social media has blurred the lines between private and professional life, and how difficult it is to navigate this as I step fully into being an older, female rabbi. And what this has to do with this week’s Torah reading.

My phone fell into a New York City compost bin, totally derailing plans for the day. I was forced to check my faith that day. The Israelites, Moses, God—all had their faith challenged. It’s a funny story, but also serious because if we’re cynical, how can we bring about positive change in the world?

Is cleaning out messy drawers a waste of time, or does it have some deeper spiritual meaning? That’s what I explore in this week’s episode in relation to the Parsha with its pomegranates and bells.

There is so much despair in the world today, and younger generations are as hopeless as they come about the future. But what do they need from us, and how can the Torah guide us here to live from a more heart-cantered place, to not become disheartened ourselves, so we can support them?

I have things sprouting, blooming, growing all over my apartment—not mold! Although I’m sure there’s some of that as well. How do we decide whether to take the mandate, “We will do and we will hear” literally or not? That’s where I am this week as I reflect on my recent ordination and all the craziness in the world that calls for immediate action.

Buddhist psychotherapist Bruce Tift says we use the excuse of our wounds to avoid showing up in our lives. I posit that the Israelites do the same. They miss out on an incredible opportunity. Listen for some wisdom—and revelation!

In life, we go from ecstasy to complaint and back again. It’s not a straight journey. So too with the Israelites. We need song and celebration to give us strength, but these are complex, reflecting the complexity of our hearts.

Don’t we all suffer from imposter syndrome to some extent? Moses, and even God, does. Is it self-sabotage when God repeatedly hardens Pharaohs heart? Or is there a more subtle message and meaning behind it?

I’m just landing from my trip and the high of being ordained, and it’s hard to integrate all of it, and so easy to fall back into old patterns. It’s hard to learn to listen to the body in order to prevent a crash. This is when illness descends. We’ve all been there. Va-era is about difficulty speaking and difficulty hearing. It’s about how we shut down due to trauma. And it has some hints about how to overcome it.

I’m officially a rabbi now! And I really like keeping things real, as hard as these truths are to say. It’s how I was brought up, and it remains a big part of my values. You can hear my ordination speech here, and how it relates to the week’s parsha.

As I am about to be ordained in just five days, I am ending and beginning. So is Genesis and the Jewish people. How will my leadership change, and who will lead the Jewish people? What happens to Joseph? Listen for a really interesting commentary coming from Leon Kass in The Beginning of Wisdom. Also—Have you ever thought of writing your own eulogy? Or death-bed confession, your Viduy? Whaaat?? Yup. Listen.

Are we Israel? From dust to dust? Or are we like the Egyptians who want everlasting life? What do we learn from Jacob and Joseph about doing honest life review? Listen and find out!

We can not heal if we are not whole, if our souls are divided. This is the state of Joseph’s soul, caught between his loyalty to Pharoah and his family of origin. The question remains, what are Joseph’s true colors?

Dreams and fear don’t mix well. If I’d let fear stop me from fulfilling my dream of becoming a rabbi (in just three weeks!!), I wouldn’t be here today! And. The parsha starts out with us wondering about whether Jacob continuing to live in his father’s fear, and passing down that fear to future generations.

In this episode, as I am about to be transformed by receiving smicha/ordination, Jacob becomes Israel. It’s the beginning of transformation for him. He must face his demons and his illusions of separation. You’ll hear a beautiful old midrash, a rabbinic story, and Rami Shapiro’s interpretation of the angelic world and the stoic self. Listen! It’s fun!

Jacob is on the run, from his brother, but also from himself. As a flawed human being, perhaps undeserving of love after the awful things he has done, he discovers that God is there for him despite these things. In opening to the Divine, he has taken his first baby step into a different kind of future. It is love that gives him the patience to endure life’s travails.

I’m in the final countdown—six weeks until I’m ordained as a rabbi! When we come to these big moments in life, we may have a fairy tale version of how things will play out. The parsha called Toldot shows how real life is, and how hard we try to control the outcomes. But holding on tight can lead to disaster and heartbreak.

In this episode I tell of how I was challenged to question a choice I made about a choice a certain image representing rabbis when I am becoming a rabbi that this image doesn’t represent. Is it perpetuating a stereotype—or is it defying it? And what does this have to do with faith, with the parsha this week? Above all, why is faith so important? (And visit my website, whose link you’ll find in the bio, to learn about Jewish Spiritual Direction—or just to find this rabbi (me) in New York City for any life cycle event you may need me for!

How do we cope with the mess of the world and our country, keep trust and hope alive, and remain active and engaged? Our great spiritual leaders who have inspired huge movements have some answers, as does the Jewish mystical tradition. Does the Torah?

In the sea of social media, we are all trying to make our names great. So God says to Abraham, “Go out” and “I will make your name great.” But at what cost? Traditional societies didn’t live for the individual, but for the collective. How can we do both?

If we really picture what happens in Noah with the destruction of all human and animal life on Earth—save one family—it’s a painful sight. It also hits way too close to home at the moment. In what ways do we numb ourselves to the pain, should we always be empathetic, or can we find more productive ways to deal with it. Take a listen to hear my thoughts. It’s not a pessimistic view in the end!

In this episode I tell the story of a beautiful interfaith baby naming and what it means to be made in God’s image.

The holidays that mark the beginning of the Jewish new year are a combination of joy and sadness all mixed together. It’s really kind of confusing the way the Torah readings don’t even begin with Rosh Hashanah, which would be the most logical thing to do. Beginnings and endings are never completely one thing or another. Just like the Jewish cycle, life blurs all the lines that we would like to have clearly marked, the way humans like things in general:neatly tied up in a box we can open, knowing exactly what we will find inside. But it’s just not that way. Listen as I talk about my new role as a rabbi, and other stories.

In Jewish tradition, Yom Kippur is a time to face our own deaths, remember those who have passed before us, and to be cleansed of our wrongdoings. Feelings around all of this are complicated. The famous Israeli poet teaches us of the varying voices of our parents, both harsh and loving—and the eleventh and twelfth commandments. And I talk about my journey through the day.

In this episode, I share some surprises that found me on Rosh Hashanah, at home and at Jury Duty, examine what it means to approach Yom Kippur with awe, and the different types of forgiveness—and the criminal justice system. (Who are we to judge?)

In this episode, I explore the idea of inclusivity and the problem of exclusivity in Judaism, and what it means to lead a holy life. How do we? And why is it so hard? What are the mixed messages we get from Torah?? Hopefully you’ll get some answers as we enter the Jewish New Year.

In this episode I explore the blessings of life and Torah in contrast to the many enumerated curses in this week’s parsha. How do we tackle the two extremes, and what meaning do we make of them? (Visit my website, lnegditamid.us, to learn more about me and my offerings!)

My daughter’s wedding happened this past Sunday. She married a man who is not Jewish. In this episode, I consider the question of building a “fence around the Torah,” where our traditions need to be upheld and where the fences need to be lowered.

In this episode, I talk about transitions, their joys and pain, and ritual. Personally, I’m going through many transitions at the moment, including my daughter’s wedding. But Jews, and the entire world, are going through huge transitions. I discuss the strange ritual at the end of this week’s parsha, some ancient rituals we still hold on to, and I attempt to answer the question of how rituals can help us, both in moments of joy and grief.

This week I talk about generosity, as we are told in Torah, and as I struggle to take care of myself and my health while also welcoming many people who will be sleeping at my house for my daughter’s wedding next week.

In this episode, I explore patriarchy, patriarchal relationships, and how our Torah both reflects these but also might have something to teach us about how to go forward to create a new way of living. I discuss Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy as discussed with Tami Simon on her podcast, Insights From the Edge, and how it all brings us back to Torah.

In Moses’ plea to God in this week’s Torah portion, there’s an element of desperate and panic. We, also, tend to panic when we think we must have or do something, and we may silently ask, please, please, please, make it so.” But do we always have such clarity that we know for sure what’s right, or is it sometimes in retrospect that we realize we weren’t praying for the best thing after all.

In this episode, I look at chronic illness (as experienced by me) and relationship to society and our expectations for our lives. Is there such a thing as a Miracle Cure? What about faith? And what is Torah trying to teach us through Moses’ words?

In this episode, I discuss the Netflix series, Russian Dolls, as in the layers it uncovers in the human psyche and our desire to control not only the present and future, but the past. Tisha b’Av tells us to mourn, while the week’s parsha teaches us about vows and justice. Somehow, I connect these three. Listen and find out how.

We are told that everyone is made in God’s image, but it’s hard to see that in everyone. What about God’s violence? What about Pinchas? In this episode, I explore these questions and draw on some fun stories in an effort to find answers.

The story of Balaam and his donkey is about not seeing things we should be able to, but also about seeing things maybe we wish we didn’t. It’s a complicated balance. I describe my time on a tiny vacation when this happened, and my struggle to stay in a positive mindset despite the beauty around me. The frustrations that make us want to curse can, however be be turned into blessings, the way Balaam is forced to do.

In this episode, I talk about the watershed of Supreme Court rulings coming down over the past weeks and how they relate to the parsha’s laws around niddah and coming into contact with the dead. Why are we so afraid of endings? If we could understand death as bearing new birth, we’d probably be living very differently today.

Our rabbinic tradition and our Torah stories both often give us a whitewashed version of the past and our biblical characters as people. Korach definitely fits into this category. Listen and find out why I say this!

With the overturning of Roe v Wade, I am left with more questions than answers about courage, faith and trust—and how these relate to the spies in the week’s parsha. (And visit my website to learn more about me and my offerings: lnegditamid.us)

I got to see both ends of life last week: I accompanied a mohel for a bris and went to a funeral home the very next day. The experiences both upset me and filled me with joy, but not for the reasons you’d think. Listen to find out how and why!

I was in Miami over Memorial Day weekend with a group of Latino and Jewish kids. Getting them to interact after a whole year of meeting bi-weekly was our job—not easy when everyone wants to feel safe by hanging out with their own tribes. Here I tell the story of how that happened in the end, and the beauty and hope and healing that happened, for them and for me. I also share a lot of my own story, as I told it to them. (You can also go to my website to learn more about me: lnegditamid.us

Moss and taxes. A reciprocal relationship between government and people. Moss is a perfect example of cooperation and reciprocity. Yet we’ve been programmed to think that we as individuals are responsible for our own successes and failures, riches and poverty, separate from the society and system we live in. What the Bible teaches about caring for the Earth and the consequences of not doing so…pretty gruesome. And we are living it now. But let’s learn from moss…

Mass shootings, filibusters, laws that don’t serve the majority, yet we are prevented from changing them. The way we treat our people reflects the way we treat and possess our land. If only this one statement in Torah could be respected: “the land is not yours; it is Mine,” it could change everything. With a special treat—the words of Woody Guthrie that most of us don’t know…

With abortion rights being threatened, and shortages of all kinds of goods, there’s a lot to be alarmed and hopeless about. The parsha this week makes us take a look at ourselves, though, in a different way. Who are the rejects of our society and how different are we from the society reflected in our ancient sacred books? We may be shocked at women being burned and people being stoned, and we may want to reject our heritage. But we can’t walk away from where we come from any more than we can walk away from our presents world.

Is it my personal obsession with toilets, or is it our culture? I saw this crazy video on Facebook, and I couldn’t look away. All the toxic chemicals! This week’s parsha teaches us about how to be holy, like God, and I don’t think it’s by making colorful, foamy designs in empty toilets and flushing them down for the hell of it…

As Jews, we think a lot about our land. On Passover, we talk about returning each year to the land. As Americans, we have a responsibility to the land as well—or, as humans in general. The history of our national parks is a painful one, and our responsibility towards native peoples is real. Do we pass over it, like God did our houses, and say it’s a thing of the past? Akharei Mot has a few answers for us, I think.

It’s such a hard year to talk about liberation. So much pain in the world. Do we get to cancel it?

This week there’s lots of scrubbing—of stones and stoves and refrigerators—the latter because Passover is coming. In the parsha, it’s about scrubbing away disease. Passover is about freedom from slavery, but we have a complicated past of becoming slave owners in the U.S. The history of being both enslaved and oppressed and enslavers and oppressors is an unsavory history, hard to swallow. How do we process this and come out to a place of expansiveness, despite the challenges of the world? Not sure I have the answers, but we try.

Is aging something to be afraid of and push away? Should we change our skin and hair in order to look younger? I thought we were getting beyond that. As we have learned to relate in different ways since isolation set in two years ago at the start of the pandemic, so we can find news ways of believing in and helping ourselves and our bodies heal—as I discovered Wim Hof two weeks ago on the anniversary of the shut-down in New York City. Like in the parsha, hopefully after isolation, we come out healthier and stronger.

Helen Keller’s life was a myth, and so are many stories in the Torah. As Aaron’s sons are killed for thinking for themselves, and Aaron is silent, so was Helen Keller silenced. Now there is an effort to silence Ketanji Brown Jackson.

I’ve been wondering how to go forward with my weekly blogs and podcasts, focusing only on Torah, which is so male-oriented, as a female rabbi coming into my own. Am I continuing the sexism? On Purim, we are commanded to turn everything on its head. Thinking about the 50th anniversary of the first ordained American female rabbi, plus this week’s parsha, made me wonder about my role and how to stretch to the next level. But it’s true of the world as well. It’s being stretched, as we all are. This week, I seek to answer the question of how to have patience with the slow pace of change for the good.

With all that’s happening in Ukraine, what is our individual and collective responsibility? This week’s parsha is about how to make expiation. How do we??

Can we take one more thing? I mean, we need a war, too, now, on top of the pandemic? How scary is that? As a distraction, and to laugh, I’ve been watching Good Girls. We’re coming into Purim soon, when we’re supposed to laugh, so I guess I’m practicing. P’kudei is a completion of sorts, with nothing to laugh about, and the mystery of clouds and fires, but we do need to laugh, as one Ukrainian mother reminds us.

When my friend told me she had to go for surgery next week and she was scared, I went into overdrive in organizing a circle to support her in healing. And the gifts of offerings started pouring in from those attendance: could I tell them stop, it’s too much, like Moses did to the Israelites?

My daughter went to Mexico and she asked what I wanted her to bring back. Rags, I said. Listen if you’re curious how this could possibly connect to the Golden Calf, the broken tablets, the death of so many Israelites, and the glow Moses gets when he speaks to God. I hope you’re curious. ;)

In this week’s parsha, the priests are given their special clothing and rules about sacrifices. There’s lots of blood from the animal sacrifices and the priests must wear the twelve tribes on their hearts. What do we wear on our hearts? Do we only think about our own tribes? The first episode of Radio Lab inspired this episode of my podcast.

Is the sanctuary a beautiful place for God, or is it for us? Because who needs it, really? Last week I talked about sacred time; this week I talk about sacred space and why it’s so important, especially in today’s world.

In our efforts to control or conquer time, we get so bogged down in the details of doing that hold us back from what really matters, yet sometimes it’s also the details that really matter. The laws of the Torah seem stuck in an ancient time, yet sometimes they are translatable and we still have to learn from them in our time. Here I talk about a nightmare I had about my daughter’s upcoming wedding and how it led to rethinking the timing of it—and other things, especially what really matters.

After walking to freedom, there’s still so much work to be done. Jethro hears the calling and becomes a believer. The Israelites finally do, too, but true change and transformation will be harder. As we just celebrated the life of Dr. King, we continue to struggle to see the human family as and our connection to earth as One. From Black Lives Matter to Critical Race Theory being banned and racist voices gaining power, we can not lose the faith we learn from people like Jethro and MLK in the possibility and power of transformation.

This week is when we walk to freedom through the split sea. But it’s not a straight line to freedom, and we may have a change of heart and want to turn around and go back to a time and place we imagine was better. But was it really?

It’s January 6th, a new part of our history to commemorate. Sometimes we need to see the darkness before we can come out of it. Darkness is one of the last plagues, and things will get worse before they get better, but the story of liberation is so central to Judaism, it has given strength to so many people to keep going.

This episode is about the state of our hearts and whether we keep them open or closed and how that impacts the world. How much are we thinking about the vaccine as a cure-all for our global problems while neglecting the environmental crisis? And how can we do it differently?

With the darkest days and times upon us, Moses comes along to give us hope, as he has done for previous generations. So many parallels…

Personal debt in the form of credit cards, student debt, medical debt, enslaves Americans in the same way the starving people during the famine in Torah were enslaved by their debt to Pharaoh. This week in Torah, Joseph reveals his true identity to his brothers, his family is saved from the famine, but not without a compromise. The starving people go into debt in order to eat, as so many are today. Jubilee? Shmita? A release of debt? Many are calling for it now!

Dreams and the way our lives turn out often diverge, something to the point that we are shocked. Miketz is about waking up, losing innocence, and hopefully learning from our experiences. This is true for us as individuals but also for the world as we wake up from this nightmare of a pandemic.

It was Thanksgiving again, and so different from last year’s middle-of-the-pandemic one. Now it was edge-of-the-pandemic, and reintegrating slowly into life with lessons hopefully learned. I was wondering about the circularity of life, a ring I lost and found, Tamar’s story of prostitution and how women have taken care of themselves and each other for eons because the greater society fails to do so. Listen to learn more!

How do our expectations and perceptions change or impact a situation, whether it’s wedding dress shopping with my daughter or Jacob meeting his brother after so many years? Listen to find out.

Women’s agency over their own bodies, Kyle Rittenhouse, racist attacks and trials, the climate summit. They’re all related. And to this week’s Torah reading…Need I explain?

What do Halloween, Jacob and Esau and the Climate Summit in Glasgow have in common? Listen and you’ll find out!

Our culture makes death more difficult and chaotic than it needs to be, but birth and death are on the same continuum. We also have a strong political influence that pits science against religion and spirituality, creating and adding to the chaos in our government, country and world, making a dangerous debate about climate change, as if it were up for debate. In this week’s parsha, there is bargaining and also faith. Listen as I tell the story of my dying cousin and what it has to do with climate disaster, Sarah and the hope for the world.

In our culture, it’s taboo to believe in angels or to talk openly about being “led.” We laugh at the idea of angels because we are intelligent, modern people. In Torah, our matriarch Sarah also laughs. This week’s parsha is chock full of angels. In this episode, I explore what might happen if we suspend belief in our deep beliefs.

In this episode I explore Abraham and Sarah’s use of their power and entitlement and how that contrasts with other ways of using the same, whether we feel “entitled” or not, and how we can be creative about it. I re-tell a beautiful story by Elizabeth Gilbert, famous author of Eat, Pray, Love.

We make mistakes, God makes mistakes, and Noah made the terrible mistake of not speaking up to God when God decides to destroy all life with the flood. Noah is supposed to be the only righteous person of his generation, but…? Faith in God, faith in humanity and faith in our own voice all comes into question.

How we label things is important, and being clear about our intentions is also important. On the surface, God of the Bible and his creations seem simple, good or bad, but underneath it, nothing is simple.

As we finally reach the end of the Torah and are about to begin again, we are left with a bunch of blessings for security and peace going forward—or the Israelites are. How blessed—and how cursed—do we feel? How much of it is based on reality and how much is in our heads? I tell a story of something that happened the other day in the park that left me completely rattled and thinking about these things.

On the most somber day of the Jewish year, how seriously do we need to take ourselves? Well…

What we need at this time of year is a good flush—of our personal systems—from all the old and newer traumas, so we can move on and find new and better ways to live.

After yet another very destructive hurricane, we enter the Jewish New Year, a time of rest and prayer, to take a break from the action and renew ourselves to continue the work of healing ourselves and the world

There are many prophetic voices in this week’s Torah portion, of doom and gloom, but also of hope and possibilities. As we come to the end of Torah and the Jewish year, and also enter a year of rest for the earth, we are reminded that there are in fact possibilities for the future, so we must grab the opportunity.

Charity vs changing the system? And what does the Bible have to do with that? Here I tell of a funny and ridiculous inner argument I had with myself when I struggled to get away with some well-meaning people on the street trying to get me to sign up for a good purpose and how I got away finally. But the struggle within continues.

Do we need permission to be critical of our traditions, our religion, our god, our holy books? Hopefully not, but I’m case we do, we actually have it! Listen in to find out!

Survival in difficult times comes from community, but also the belief in the fantastical and magical. In fact, we can make the magic happen, and when we make fun in the midst of the pain, we gain autonomy over it. The customs of the commemoration of the destruction of the Temple and Torah both have lessons for us on how to live going forward into the scary unknown.

Is ignorance really bliss? It’s the 4th of July, and what are we celebrating? What do we do with the ugly history and stories of our country—and our Torah? Gloss them over? Retell them in ways that make them not so bad? Where does that leave us? Listen and find out.

Pinchas is a violent biblical character, rewarded for his zealotry by God. But there’s hope in Zelophehad’s daughters. And Dr. Ruth teaches a lot about living too. Personally, I’d like to learn from all these strong females.

How many times have we had doors slam in our faces, our hearts breaking because we believed something that just wasn’t true? What was it we couldn’t see? In the story of Balak in the Torah, Bilam can’t see the angel with its sword blocking his way. What message is there in this for us?