Love & Life with Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

In part 2 of our conversation about sexual wounds, Elliott and I discuss how you can identify a sexual wound—whether you’re wondering if you’ve been wounded or perhaps your partner has.  Elliott shares the two main ways sexual wounds manifest—in hyper-sexual behavior or hypo-sexuality. We wrap up our conversation with tangible steps to take to help you or your partner heal from sexual wounds. Join us for Part 2 of our Sexual Wound series to discern if past sexual woundedness is impacting your current sexual expression—and if so, how to find healing and hope. Sponsor: Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

In today’s hypersexualized culture, it’s difficult to avoid abuse or pain regarding our sexuality. Therefore, to some degree, most of us suffer from a sexual wound. Specifically, sexual wounds occur when physically intimate bonds are created outside of a committed monogamous partnership. Sexual wounds result from: Hook ups Paid sex Adultery Sexual abuse/molestation/incest Rape Pornography Furthermore, sexual wounds can also occur within a committed, monogamous partnership when the expression of sexuality is not free, open, enjoyed, and fulfilling. Join us for Part 1 of our Sexual Wound series to discern if past sexual woundedness is impacting your current sexual expression. Sponsor: Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

On Love & Life, we’re all about THRIVING in every realm of love and life! This sounds great, of course. But it also sets a very high bar—which can, admittedly, feel daunting and overwhelming. Elliott and I are here to help! As Elliott moves from Love & Life “fan favorite guest” to co-host, he’ll provide expertise based on over 30 years of counseling individuals and couples. He also brings his pastoral wisdom and experience. By collaborating, we’ll broaden the scope of our content—because ultimately, we can’t thrive in love and life unless we nourish our mind, body, and spirit. So, while Love & Life remains focused on our relationships and flourishing therein, we’ll incorporate other key concerns related to our mission:  Providing conversations grounded in psych research, psychotherapy, and Biblical truth to help us thrive in love and life! Join us to hear more about our mission and vision in this week’s episode! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

More questions keep coming in so Elliott and I recorded another Q&A episode for you! “Helene” has been on at least 75 dates over the last 5 years. She’s frustrated that the guys she’s into never pursue her while the ones she’s not attracted to want to date her. She’s concerned that maybe now she’s putting up walls after so much disappointment. “Janey” says she matched with a guy on a dating app 2 years ago. She asked him a question and he responded, but then she never responded back. She thought he was out of her league. Recently she saw him on another dating app and she wants to message him. What should she say? “Linda” wants to know our best advice for an engaged couple as they plan for marriage. Join us to hear our thoughts on these questions. Click the link in the show notes below if you’d like us to answer a question for you! Ask Elliott and me a question here! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

When we’ve been on the dating scene for a while and endured so much heartache, how can we believe good men still exist? It’s so easy to give up hope, but we don’t want to become bitter or demoralized! In this Q&A episode, Elliott and I answer your questions: “Valerie” wants to know how she can possibly trust men again after her boyfriend of 6 months broke up with her right after her miscarriage of their baby. “Sarah” has been in 3 long term relationships and each time she caught her partner lying about debt, infidelity, and drugs. She worries she’ll never be able to meet a man of integrity. “Maggie” recently got back together with her ex who used drugs recreationally when they dated before—which is why she broke up with him. He says he’s left that lifestyle behind but she still wonders if she’ll ever be able to fully trust him. Join us to hear strategies for healing and rebuilding hope and trust. Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

How often do you ask yourself, “How am I doing?” If you're like most of us, the answer may be–not often enough! Detroit Pistons psychotherapist, Dr. Corey Yeager, invites us to ask ourselves this very question. His new book, “How Am I Doing? 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself” provides thought provoking prompts for deeper self knowledge–of who you’ve been and who you intend to become! I highlighted some of my favorite quotes from Dr. Yeager’s book and asked him to elaborate on them. Specifically, we explore: The importance of being sure you’re the one writing your story! Listening to your inner voice and monitoring your self talk. Growing up, Dr. Yeager heard things like, “Don’t become someone your family wouldn’t recognize!” How do we honor our family of origin while still resonating with our authentic selves? The tension between “Making the right choice” vs. “Making the choice right!” The impact of untruths we tell ourselves! Dr. Yeager’s definition of True Freedom and the heavy responsibility inherent to freedom. How we can frame our pain and struggles as gifts! How “personifying” your relationship with anxiety provides you with control over what feels uncontrollable Dr. Yeager’s book digs deep yet remains accessible to all–no matter where you are in your journey toward self discovery! Dr. Corey Yeager Website: https://doctorcoreyyeager.com/  Dr. Corey Yeager's Book - "How Am I Doing?": https://www.amazon.com/How-Am-Doing-Conversations-Yourself/dp/1400236762  Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

We're wrapping up our series on Dr. Chapman's 5 Love Languages with a couple more I've developed over my 30+ years working with couples—challenge and presentation!  1. Challenge: How we challenge each other in a committed romantic relationship—to be the best version of ourselves, in relationships, career, family, and faith—is critical mortar solidifying or weakening, your love language wall. Research shows one of the main reasons marriages break down is boredom! But couples who commit to challenging one another via encouragement and exhortation toward growth and development, strengthen their intimacy and keep their connection exciting!  2. Presentation: How we present our partner to others displays how we view him/her. Furthermore, when we’re married, our spouse is a representation of us at all times. How partners present each other to family, friends, and community is another enormously important language that allows the other five love languages to thrive or be denied. Listen to learn how challenge and presentation interact with the 5 Love Languages and please let us know your thoughts!  Quizzes, Resources, & more: Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing.  Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0  Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/  Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook  Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott & I discuss the following: Fascinating research behind the power of touch. Don’t all men have physical touch as their top love language? The importance of pacing physical touch as your intimacy develops and how this relates to hookup culture.   How men and women experience touch differently based on our differing physicalities.  Repairing physical touch after infidelity.  Attachment styles as they relate to physical touch.  Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life! Quizzes, Resources, & more: Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing. Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0 Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson